Has anyone here ever tried to initiate a conversation with a person of the opposite gender at a gym?

[alpine wyvern]

Is it always a bad idea? Is it weird if you just say hi and leave it at that? Is it okay to wave to someone if they have their earplugs in but aren't doing any exercise?

[sterile brook]

Interesting

[dire lava]

u found a cutie in the gym eh

[alpine wyvern]

The right word would be a hottie

[dire lava]

wait question 1 arent u old? and question 2 pls tell me she is old as well

[alpine wyvern]

Is 27 old?

[pliant sandal]

It's always a bad idea unless you know the instructors and management / or if you re a local ... If neither you d have to explain the reason for interacting with the person,... Plus there will be 4-5 people who ll just come to help the girl even if there is no trouble... And if you can't answer you might end up with broken jaw or black eye ... Coz they all would be bulked up and would be looking for an excuse to become hero in front of that girl

[dire lava]

u look like your 40 lol

[dire lava]

how old does she look tho

[pliant sandal]

*you are

[alpine wyvern]

thanks for the confidence boost dude

[dire lava]

?????????

[pliant sandal]

cute girls are always 18 like just turned 18 sorts

Trust me I am cute

[dire lava]

im always honest sry mate

[dire lava]

sureeee

[dire lava]

he aint answering the question so i agree on this one

[pliant sandal]

And my brother is a gym instructor

[alpine wyvern]

It's my apartment building gym, exclusively for apartment members. And it's a tiny gym, there aren't a lot of (or any) bulked up dudes there.
Also have you seen someone get beaten up for trying to talk?

[pliant sandal]

I read in news that a guy was beaten up by 4 guys coz he spoke to a girl and this happened in 2023 in Bengaluru

[dire lava]

sureeee

HOW OLD DOES SHE LOOK????

[alpine wyvern]

I am extremely bad at guessing ages, but I know she is clearly more than 21. It is possible that she is older than me

[dire lava]

IF U HIT ON A YOUNG GIRL YES YOU WILL GET HIT BY EVERYONE

[pliant sandal]

I have heard from friends back in college that her friends gang beat up an uncle coz he tried to flirt with her at the apartment

[dire lava]

you make some interestingly fake stories

[pliant sandal]

True ,... Let's form a gang and go beat him up.... We ll give some lame excuse

[alpine wyvern]

I don't want to hit on anyone. I just want to say hi and maybe introduce myself. Younger or not, it is never a good idea to full-on flirt with strangers

[pliant sandal]

No this was true ... Like bunch of college students just went bro there were crazy fight scenes in my college

[dire lava]

just go talk to her casually whats the problem

[dire lava]

true so yeah do that

just dont be nervous and start sweating and stuttering

[pliant sandal]

But do you have a valid reason to do so? She ll look at you as a creep if you don't... Attend regularly for a week and then be like hey i have seen you come here for a while , and talk about work out routines or gym stuff perhaps

You need a reason to be friend , same apartment and go say hi you re still a creep

[dire lava]

nah dont listen to this fake person

what valid reason do u need

[pliant sandal]

I am giving him logical advice

[dire lava]

the person who has no frnds is giving advice yeah nah

[pliant sandal]

I have more friends than you and we hang out go on trips have a lot of fun

[dire lava]

@alpine wyvern conclusion just talk to her mate

[dire lava]

u literally said u dont have any good frnds from college lol proves that u make non stop fake stories

[pliant sandal]

I am saying the same thing but wait like give it atleast a couple of weeks , she has to register you as a familiar face @alpine wyvern then go talk to her

[alpine wyvern]

@dire lava you spent last 5 minutes bringing me down they you are like just talk to her

[alpine wyvern]

Okay that's good advice, because it allows me to not do anything for a couple of weeks

[dire lava]

see i thought u wanted to flirt my bad for that plus i meant if shes young then dont approach

[jolly plover]

bruh don't talk to her, wait for someone else to talk to her, then save her from said person

[pliant sandal]

Exactly he wants to troll you, he wants you to get slapped or her giving you weird looks and you becoming a creep

[dire lava]

lol so wait for eternity

[pliant sandal]

Actually he is right @dire lava you have no idea how many guys try to talk to a girl ... On an average atleast 30-40 people approach each week

[dire lava]

damn everyone simpin hard

[alpine wyvern]

I regret making this post

[jolly plover]

when was the last time you touched grass my friend?

[dire lava]

ok last question how long have u both been going to the gym

[dire lava]

3 hrs ago

[jolly plover]

i totally believe you

[dire lava]

not my fault theres no simps here

[alpine wyvern]

Me for 1.5 years because we own a flat here
Her for last 4 days and she is likely a Zolo tenant

[dire lava]

fine give it another week

at least u can just start of with a hi for now

cause u said small gym so that should be fine

[pliant sandal]

Don't never do this

[dire lava]

OK NEVER APPROACH HER 👍

ACT LIKE SHE DOSENT EXIST 👍

[pliant sandal]

You can do some platonic compliments like watching her lift weights and be like "you re pretty strong " that's it no further things ,... And note how she reciprocates to it

[pliant sandal]

I was telling not to say hi, that's obvi creep coz almost everyone does it ,... It's a big turn down... Only say hi if you know them ... Good ice breakers have to be spontaneous

Like help her first

[alpine wyvern]

This is more likely to get me beat up because it will be transparently not true

[sage wraith]

Ahh this happens in colleges. Most of the fights are always over a girl

[pliant sandal]

True and they bring hockey sticks wickets cricket bats and so on too... Like one guy had brought a dagger for real, he got a dagger to a fight ...

[sage wraith]

Yeah full gang scenes only in colleges

You're safe if you have pull

[pliant sandal]

You have to observe and compliment accordingly , you seem to have lost some weight sorts that,... Like i said something relevant then girl won't make it a big issue and will thank you... If you randomly compliment you re in trouble for sure

[pliant sandal]

True i was safe for sometime because i was close to seniors who had a lot of pull... Otherwise God knows how many fights i would have been part of

[sage wraith]

Sexy

Generally, there's this religion and area-wise gangs.

I was lucky enough to be friends with everyone and didn't get into unnecessary trouble. After a certain incident, I realised I had way more pull than I though I did.

[alpine wyvern]

I think you want me to get beat up. Telling a girl she has lost some weight. Wow.

[pliant sandal]

What was the incident ?

[pliant sandal]

That's one of the best compliments you could tell a girl, most people are crazy about reducing weight , getting slimmer sorts, telling a girl she has looks like she has lost some weight makes them super happy... Even if it's a lie it will work well , try it

[bold haven]

i never gone to gym

[pliant sandal]

We didn't have religion gangs, we had multi-tenetted gangs , there was hostel gang mallu gang locallite gang and so on... And often there used to be alliances between gangs and rivalry , these alliances shifted too...

But they have been United like we had college wide bandhs organized by students ,

[pliant sandal]

*have never

[bold haven]

yes

[silver kiln]

Just go talk her dude, don't try to flirt. Just say hi and make small talk. If the vibe is there then continue, if not just back off

[fair roost]

dont do itttttt.....

[alpine wyvern]

have you had a bad experience?

[fair roost]

no... but in general its the worst place to start a conversation.. unless you are good looking

[alpine wyvern]

But on what basis are you deciding that it is the worst place? How do you know?

[fair roost]

its well known. google

[alpine wyvern]

I wanted human beings to answer based on experience, that's why I asked here

[dire lava]

We are all in the same boat brother

Altho one came to my room today but I was in the gym lol

[alpine wyvern]

People have given me actual experience-based answers in the DMs, so some of us have definitely reached the shore.

[dire lava]

So did they say approach or no?

[alpine wyvern]

They did. The main advice has been to try to make acquaintance first instead of trying to impress.

[dire lava]

That's what I said

But emo princess has so much info like always and gives dudu ass advice

[alpine wyvern]

I will be open about it, I think it's on purpose, to have fun

Which is fine. I may not be 40 but I am old enough to separate genuine attempt at advice from trolling

[worthy root]

omg just say hi, are you new smth smth
you said small place what's the worst that could happen

[olive jay]

@alpine wyvern If you are not sure on conversational cues(direct method) ,
some alternate ways are : appreciate something she wore. Like suppose for e.g. she wore a moon hairclip a day, appreciate that.

The key thing is to start a conversation and be friends before, since women usually tend to be hit on often at gyms.

[serene plume]

[alpine wyvern]

The conversation cues you gave me are for hitting on her though

[alpine wyvern]

The worse that could happen is me getting beat up according to some people in this thread

[olive jay]

Those are better than the hey and hi introducing parts.

[pliant sandal]

Just work out until she comes and initiates the convo

[brittle wyvern]

Honestly, if you really want to talk just go for it. Make sure it's not in between sets or when they're busy tho, be respectable and it will be fine

And most important thing is, don't get conversation ques from people in discord. Very likely to end up looking like a creep

@alpine wyvern

[fallen root]

Lol

Just look at her and smile. If she smiles back, she will probably not call you a creep when you approach her. I make sure to exchange smiles and glances at least 5 times before considering it a green signal to approach.

[brittle wyvern]

weirdly specific

[fallen root]

5 times ?

It’s just a random number

[sage knoll]

hello mom pick me up theres a dude thats been smiling at me at the gym for atelast 5 times now

[sterile brook]

Interesting

Just smile twice. More than enough

Then start with a hi

When off sets, resting

Best I feel

Definitely you're old enough to know to continue from there

[scenic rain]

bro just work on yourself people will come to you

[alpine wyvern]

That makes sense. I've also decided that I'll make friends with everyone at the gym

My therapist has asked that I stop looking at everyone from the lens of potential partnerships for some time. And I'm an extrovert, so I can just chat with all the other gym regulars a little too

[fallen root]

Yeah

[heady iris]

Bro this sounds like u have been influenced by cinema.

If a person really wants to talk he or she will come forward in a situation even though you never think of it and if you just normally talk, It ain't gonna coz problems unless being a bit tensed which actually makes it weird.

I think talking ain't wrong if u really want to talk but be sure of the surroundings as mentioned can't predict how people react these days after COVID 👀

[fallen root]

Really? That's how I have been approaching people since ages. Some minor glances and acknowledgement before going and sayin hi 😅

[alpine wyvern]

The problem is that most everyone has wireless earbuds embedded deep inside their ears and it's difficult to get their attention. Yesterday I wanted to talk to a dude and I waited for him to complete his set and as he was waking away I called him like 3 times and it felt horribly awkward imaging running after him and putting myself in front of his face to get his attention because all I wanted was to casually chat about his workout routine. People just don't make eye contact these days

[heady iris]

👍😅 I actually get people talking to me rather than me stepping in most of the time these days

[heady iris]

Irony

People nowadays don't wanna socialize after becoming an adult, As they don't want anything which has no purpose ex: like something relating to work or business oriented they try to converse.

When we were kids it didn't seem hard as having a conversation with another person.

Seems like that's how everything is changing in accordance to factors influencing people's lives that makes it hardly trying or even encouraging the other to get to know anything.

😂 So it's like straight to the point or no point at all tbh

[pliant sandal]

Socializing is stupid, if you don't already have friends then you have a problem

[scenic rain]

go talk

[heady iris]

When you move from one place to another we find it like this:
You can't always be able to connect with ur friends as it gets different from how it is normally.
So it doesn't mean you have a problem with anything but it's just you don't know many around as it's like the situation.

Humans are social animals.
(Period)

[oblique flume]

Until they hit their midlife crisis(remember all those 40+ yr olds who are so done with life and crave connection? Yeah...)

Its just that at the rearing kids/marriage age most people start living in a bubble and become very isolated

[snow quartz]

1)Don't ask that in discord or reddit, most of us here are 17 y/os, but i wouldn't initiate one for no reason