Ruri’s journal | Huddle | Page 1

blazing drift Mar 15, 2026, 2:50 PM

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I really try my best to comfort everyone, and still they do bad things

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My closest friend almost committed because of a drama between her and a guy

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I talked to both of them

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My friend showed me the bad texts he sent her

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And he told me she was dramatic

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And guess who has to fix everything??

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Me ofc

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I feel so bad for everyone because they’re going through so much

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But no one ever has time for me and my feelings

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Okay update they both vented to me again

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Im okay with it ofcourse

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But it’s still annoying that they expect me to fix everything

blazing drift Mar 15, 2026, 6:33 PM

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Then acted like it’s funny

blazing drift Mar 17, 2026, 6:59 AM

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i hurt myself again

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im so pathetic

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my mom even noticed my healed scars and just had to make me feel worse

blazing drift Mar 27, 2026, 9:51 PM

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I can’t even move comfortably anymore

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It hurts so much

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Why’d I do it gain

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Again

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Im so useless

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My entire thigh is covered in scars

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I can’t let my parents see

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They’ll send me to that therapy place again where my mom acts like I’m the problem

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I hate my life

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My friends are gone

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Everyone thinks I’m weird

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Why do I even exist atp

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Why am I pretending I’m fine or smth

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I haven’t been eating

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Because I’m a fattie

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Im nauseous and throwing up always

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I hate it

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But my weight just keeps increasing

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Sigh

blazing drift Mar 28, 2026, 10:28 AM

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i should just die

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no one has time for me

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or even listens to me

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i

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hate

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my

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fricking

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life

blazing drift Mar 29, 2026, 4:44 PM

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why am i like this

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i love her

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i don’t wanna lose her

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oh so she gets mad when i match w someone else but then unmatches with me?

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she’s lowkey doing way better in life than me

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she has friends

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she doesn’t have 2 whole dramas about her

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and now no one trusts me

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or likes me

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only her

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she’s just perfect

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why can’t i be nice?

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why can’t i be normal

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or good

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or anything apart from “the weird one”

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all my friends are ghosting me

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i wanna kms

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and when i try

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i just get hated on

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and no one card

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cares

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literally no one

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i have no one in my life

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i want to have friends

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why do i get ghosted every time

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i want some to talk to

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that doesn’t make tiktok videos about MY FEELINGS that i personally told you??

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Is it not common sense to keep some things private??

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shes always sad

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“Do you wanna talk to me?” left on seen

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“How are you doing?” left on seen

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i literally try my hardest

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to be good

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but i’m not good enough

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ill never be

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for her

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i get called weird for my feelings

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can i have someone to talk about that doesn’t call me weird?

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that actually cars?

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cares

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STOP VENTING TO ME WITHOUT ASKIBG

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yes i care about you but sending me voice notes of you crying and telling me ur whole life story

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is too far

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i have my own problems

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yk

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i check on her every day

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and she doesn’t even ask ONCE???

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all i wanna do is cry

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cry forever

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so pathetic

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my mom made sure i can’t do my comfort hobby

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she threw away my comfort food

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i guess i won’t eat again

blazing drift Mar 30, 2026, 12:10 PM

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she apologized

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i love her so much

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she’s the best gf i could ever wish for

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aaaaaaaa

blazing drift Mar 31, 2026, 7:42 PM

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im useless

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i can do nothing

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i can’t take it any longer

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O i finally went to dance practice today

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i’m proud

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of myself

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the verbal abuse is even worse than the physical abuse

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i’ve been called a fat pig, useless, dumb, annoying, stupid, slow, nerd

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but the fact my dad always calls me fat when i have an ed..

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and my mom has all the time for her glorious boyfriend but nothing for me

blazing drift Mar 31, 2026, 8:13 PM

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damn i’m so exhausted

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i genuinely HATE IT

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when people misgender me

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then i’m not talking about old people and stuff

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im talking about the teenagers who clearly know what the non binary flag is

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i literally wear a pin displaying it??

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i might look girly but i’m non binary

blazing drift Apr 2, 2026, 3:42 PM

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I have like a minute

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How do I hide my scars

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My mom saw

blazing drift Apr 4, 2026, 7:24 AM

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im going to my grandparents today

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yipe

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i love them

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their so nice and funny

blazing drift Apr 11, 2026, 3:53 PM

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Im bawling my eyes out again

blazing drift Apr 19, 2026, 8:05 AM

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genuinely what the FUCK is wrong with my stepmothers friends

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one of them brought her 4 yo son and he’s messing up the entire house

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i couldn’t sleep due to him screaming all night long

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he’s now in the bath splashing everything?!?!

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we live in an apartment complex btw

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WE HAVE NEIGHBOURS BELOW US

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can he stop jumping super hard??

blazing drift Apr 23, 2026, 7:42 PM

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Im doing some art ehehe

blazing drift Apr 28, 2026, 9:11 PM

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Why does this happen to me

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My acc got hacked

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The hacker sent hate messages and now

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People think it’s me

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How do I deal with this

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My gf is gonna break up with me I don’t want this

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Sigh

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I should just drown myself in the pool tomorrow

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Bye

#Ruri’s journal