#venting journal >:3

71 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

zinc valve
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lowk need advices rn

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like

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basically

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for as far as i can remember, i always been really fat

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and i have a bunch of trauma

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and prob tons of mental problems 😭

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and one of my way to cope with stress, or sadness, is binge eating

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ion wanna self diagnose or wtv but im pretty sure i AT LEAST have deppresion and bulimia

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and i often vent abt it another serv

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or with my bf

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and yesterday i was feeling guilty

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bc i ate 5 chocolate candy

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so i told him

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and he said i should have more discipline with this "addiction"

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"as a joke"

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i know he meant no harm

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but i cant help but feel terrible about myself

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about how im jst disgusting and fat

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and how he sees me

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as someone ADDICTED to food

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like

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woah

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idk why am i so impacted by what he said

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maybe bc i really care about how he sees me

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i feel so silly rn

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been over a year we're together, and been maybe two years im telling him about my relationship with food

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and it hurts he sees me like that

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but its also a joke

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and im overreacting

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what should id o

zinc valve
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im fucking hanging myself if i ever eat more than 1000 calories by the end of ramdan

zinc valve
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I feel terrible

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Im tired

zinc valve
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i wish i was pretty ...

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and skinny

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ate 1400 calories i feel so guilty

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i got no boobs

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fat ass

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im ugly

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i want to die

zinc valve
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i dont want my bf to think im a fatass

zinc valve
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im so gross

zinc valve
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please someone help idk what to do with myself

zinc valve
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they destroyed myself with me

zinc valve
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i genuinely hope ill die soon

zinc valve
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i hope ill die ...

zinc valve
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i never wanted to die so bad in like

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weeks

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idk ion remember

zinc valve
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mate i get laughed at when i overreat on chocolate, get told im selfish and not loving them bc i wanna die and i sh, then the same person will tell me to vent ????

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wtf

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im not mad

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i m jst too prideful

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to ridiculise myself

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in front of people who think all i want is pity

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all i want is a fucking hug

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and smth that would make it fucking stop

zinc valve
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anyone with poor sleep, shitty days, depressive episodes like i do would get upset easily

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i jst want to die

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ION FUCKING ANYONE TO CRY ABOUT ME IM TIRED

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thats all

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it feels like im carrying the fucking world on my shoulders

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i fucking love him

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idk how to express it

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i fucking do love him

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words arent enough

zinc valve
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Gained 4 kg in two weeks I feel so fucking gross

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I genuinely Hope to die like rn

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Ion want to be seen I want to die

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It so embrassons

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Embarassing