My journal!! | Huddle | Page 1

woven harbor Feb 15, 2026, 11:44 AM

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Heyheyy! I'm RJAE, I'm mentally dying and have no one to vent to so... we're gonna vent here so I don't go insane :3 (tw: ||depression, anxiety, ed, suicide, sh ||

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so i have school tmrrw and i lowkey just lost all my friends

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so i rlly dont wanna go

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but i need to go to bed now bc im tired

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so

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yayyy

woven harbor Feb 16, 2026, 4:17 AM

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school was pretty good

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nothing tooo bad happened

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but my ex bsf wasnt there todya but she will be tmrrw so

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😭

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ima go cry fr

woven harbor Feb 16, 2026, 4:34 AM

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okay so im gonna explain everything going on at school rn bc im bored and entertainment strangers!

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so basc i have this friend

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ive known her for 2 years

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let's call herrr

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M

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or Mac we'll call her Mac

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so Mac and I were really good friends but fell off for a bit since her friend died

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Mac and I recently got in touch again and we're in the same kinda main class in school

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so Mac has this 4th cousin

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and he was looking for friends

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so Mac gave me his number

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I started talking to this guy and he was pretty nice but he was rlly clingy

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and i told him to back off and he didnt so i put my foot down

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now Mac started ignoring me

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and i didnt know how to act i tried ot talk to her she wouldnt talk

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until she spoke to me and was kinda like

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ohh ur rlly rude u shouldve just let him text u a lot

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like basc saying my boundary didnt matter

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and i went back to her saying hey that was rude

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i have the right to say i have a boundary

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and she walked off on me in the middle of the convo

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and i havent spoken to her since

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now she keeps giving me side eys

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eyes

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and most of my friends are just ignoring me either bc they're just in their own little groups

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or bc they believe was Mac's saying

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so now I'm sad and I have no friends

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one of Mac's like mutual friends found me today and we spoke for a bit though which was like

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nice

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ish

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but I think Mac's in her ear too

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idk

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and i also sat on the grass and that was stupid because I'm allergic to grass so I might have a rash on my face

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soon

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but

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im hoping i dont get one

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but it might be a bit of an excuse to get out of school even though i cant afford to skip anymore becuase there;s so much schoolwork i need to get done

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but Mac wasn't at school today so it was kinda okay but still i was kinda getting ignored but it's so much worse when she is there, so I'm kinda dreading tmrrw

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but i have electives so i wont have Mac in all my classes so hopefully my friends will talk to me more when she isn't there

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my dc friends have told me that what she did was rude but i just feel alone

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and my fam is just in their own little worlds while im kinda dying tbh

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i dont think they rlly care

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if they ever did

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and i keep seeing everyone else journals on here and mines just butt

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like idk why i just spit ranodm words

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and no grammar or actually sentencinggness

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im so amazing like that

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what on earth is my life

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😭

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and i think im lowkey developing an ed but i dont want to be

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i dont eat much at school and my friends dont rlly eat either so ive just stopped eatting

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i can eat at home

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idk if its more of an anxiety thing

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but i rlly hate myself

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and my body

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and i think im ugly

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maybe im just hard on myself

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but

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idk how else to feel

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i mean there's gotta be a reason ppl hate me so much

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and my mother tries to say it's cause im so preettyYyy

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but i think that's jsut a parent thing

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to say

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so

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idk

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im just yapping rn omd

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and i kinda just eat when im bored

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but then i feel bad

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and i think im fat

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even though everyone calls me skinny

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and i hate it

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but when i say i hate being called skinny

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ppl say i cant be offended

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cause its not "offensive"

woven harbor Feb 16, 2026, 5:39 AM

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i am such a single pringle

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why r all my friends dating ppl and im just lonellyy 😭

woven harbor Feb 16, 2026, 9:58 AM

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why do i always think i can be a therapist for people?

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i always put myself out there to help others when im suffering

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I'm just trying to be there for everyone

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because people are suffering

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a lot worse than i am

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like i aint ||cutting|| or anything ||even though i do think about it ||

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its just easier to push it down!

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so ppl dont get worried

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becasue that's just easier

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but soemtimes it just gets too much

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and i let it out

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somehow

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my mother says im just a bitch but

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idk

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im trying

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im rlly trying

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im trying

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waht is wrong with meee

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omd

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i just wish someone could be there for me like im there for other people

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someone to say they'd care if i left

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if i died

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if i did something ive been thinking about

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i used to get reminded about people who care

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i used to get asked if i was okay

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now i dont

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now i just have to smile and act like it doesnt hurt

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everytime i have to say im fine over what i want to say

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which is that dying

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i want someone to say they feel sorry for hwo im feeling

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ik its selfish

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i just wish that the only person who cared for me wasnt myself

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and even i dont care about me rlly anymore

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no one cares.

woven harbor Feb 17, 2026, 6:01 AM

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school was lowkey kinda good

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Mac wasnt there

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and there's this guy who's new that she kept talking to

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we'll call himm

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Tay

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so everyone was ignoring Tay kinda

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and Mac wasnt there

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so it felt like I was actually there for once

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a little bit

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theres the girl i kinda know from dc though and she wasnt talking to be about a week about how she was

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||suicidal||

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and then she completely ghosted me so i was worried and messaged her last night

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and she messaged earlier this morning cause of timezones just

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like

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yee i just dont wanna talk smtimes

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and im like

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ooookay

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idk how to feel about that

woven harbor Feb 18, 2026, 1:17 AM

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soooo i didnt end up going to school today

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i was rlly tiredd 😭

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but im kinda annoyed at myself because I did have stuff i needed to get done

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sooo

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now im gonna have to wait until next time i ahve those subjects to do them

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which'll be like next friggin weekk

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ughhh i hate my life broooooo

woven harbor Feb 18, 2026, 8:07 AM

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i swear i love just putting myself in a position to lift others up

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and im always the nice person making others feel like they matter

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but rlly i feel like i dont matter

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why cant i have a me in my life

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reminding me that there's someone who would care if i wasnt around anymore

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ugh im so depressed

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someone would have to find that annoying

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i certainly do

woven harbor Feb 21, 2026, 7:35 AM

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everyone i know rlly is saying i have an ed rn

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im confused

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idk how to feel about it

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i looked up traits of ppl w/ an ed

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it kinda sounds like me

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im worried idk waht to do

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how does one heal from an ed?

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ive been struggling with my body image

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idk maybe i thought that was a normal thing for a teenager

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i dont know what to do

woven harbor Feb 22, 2026, 5:20 AM

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i feel rlly lonely rn

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all my dc friends have diff timezones so i never get to talk to them

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i also got school tmrrw and im stressed cause i have so much schoolwork to catch up on this week

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ugh

woven harbor Feb 22, 2026, 9:58 AM

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lifes so wack

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im like tryna convince random ppl i dont know to not ||kill themselves||

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and im like

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huh?

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what is life

woven harbor Feb 24, 2026, 4:44 AM

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omd i feel like im so obnixious to ppl sometimes 😭

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i always just harrass ppl, maybe im overthinking it

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but i just feel like a nusence

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all my "friends" in my year are basically all ignoring me

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and i have a friend group in the year above and my parents hate them

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and my mother said if i continue hanging around ppl like that she'd kick me out

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idk how serious she is about that

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i know i have a plan b is things go south when i hit 18

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but still

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it kinda hurts knowing her mother kinda hates u down deep

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i kinda wanna just die tbh

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like kms die

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but i mean

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im not suicidal

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so

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idk

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i feel inferior

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no one cares

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no one'd rlly notice if i was gone

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i always try and help other ppl on here but i swear no one helps me

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maybe im just selfish

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idk how to feel rn

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i feel numb

simple ibex Feb 24, 2026, 6:30 AM

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huddlehug2

woven harbor Mar 1, 2026, 2:14 AM

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heyy heyy

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i havent spoken in here for a hot min

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a couple of things have happened

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my fam is going into mayhem, my brother had an episode last night and my mother wants to kick him out on his 18th birthday in 2 months

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everyone at school is ignoring me and it feels like im not even there

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no ones even messaging me on dc so if i just feel alone

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i cant tell anyone anythign bc ik they'll use it against me

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i want to kill myself

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i just dont have the guts to do it

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woo

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i think everyones secretly mad at me and they dont tell me

woven harbor Mar 2, 2026, 5:46 AM

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i hate my mother

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ugh

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as soon as she talks to my brothers she always starts acting like a bitch

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and yelling at me for no reason

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i dont even know what i did

woven harbor Mar 5, 2026, 12:34 AM

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umm

#My journal!!