Don't hug me I'll cry
#Idk, im just sad :<
tepid leaf
tepid leaf
Idk, im just sad :<
I just feel like everyone hates me, and they're not wrong to feel that way. Like I am inherently wrong, and there's nothing I can do to change that. How am I supposed to fix a problem when I can't even figure out why I feel like that, I mean obviously I know what caused it but I don't know where it started. Where all this anxiety and depression came from, it's like "woah, where did you come? You don't even pay rent, get tf out" and it's like "nah, I'm a mold on your walls" but the walls are my brain, and it's rotting it, and I can't call someone to get rid of it cause it doesn't really work like that.
TW: SUICIDE
Sometimes I think it might be easier to just take a bullet to the head, like "Oh, I guess that's the closest I can get to getting rid of the mold" but it doesn't get rid of it, it just keeps you from having to live near it. In the process you remove something that is supposed to be there while the mold still exists, you're gone though, and that hurts people. I mean, I think it does, sometimes I think maybe they'd be fine, like, a day or 2 of pain and then they're fine. I want them to be fine but it would hurt if it was that fast, I guess I'd rather have just never been born? Then the mold wouldn't be there to begin with, and everyone else would be happier, wouldn't have to be sad if I suddenly disappeared, cause I never existed.
Yk I'm probably gonna fucking wuss out and delete this later cause I'm scared of being judged by people who don't even know me, or know the shit I've gone through. I'm terrified for people to know me though cause then they'll hate me, cause like I said before I feel inherently wrong.
robust shell