Austria’s Scibbles | Huddle | Page 3

left moat Feb 27, 2026, 2:26 PM

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i wish i just shut up

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and never said anything at all

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i wish i could be a good girlfriend

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my stomachs dropped

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my head is noisy

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my chest feels like its going to explode

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i hate feelings

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i never know what im feeling

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i really wanted this

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i wanted it to work

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and i just lost it

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its gone

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ill never love again

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no one deserves this

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im too much of a mess to fix

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doesnt matter if i want kids or not, im probably infertile anyways

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i give up

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oh how im going break him so i just cant bear to think of it

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im so disgusted with myself

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im such an awful human being

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i should never love anyone

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everyone always gets hurt by me

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how could anyone love a broken vase

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never again

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no one wants this

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i want to sleep.

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oh my poor heart how you ache

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torn between the gut and the mind and your own self

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torn between logic and emotion

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this is the right thing.

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this is for his own good.

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he deserves better than your consistent abuse.

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the walls have come back up.

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youve put your armor on for the storm ahead

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and yet you shake, even though youve been here before

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this is only a repeat

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so why do you fear?

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stop questioning yourself

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this was the right thing

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you love him enough to know when to let him know

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to know how wrong you are

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so why are there tears catching in your throat

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why do you cry knowing you spilt enough of his blood on your hands

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knowing you need to stop

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you are nothing but a contradiction

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love does not spill blood

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and yet you do

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caring yet apathetic

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sensitive yet emotionless

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you are one way then the next

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love is not envious

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yet you are

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you have far too many vices

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too little virtues

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you say sorry, knowing it will most likely happen again

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kind yet cruel

left moat Feb 28, 2026, 5:14 PM

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108

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somehow despite everything Ive been able to not cut myself

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and if I do cut something its usually paper

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or sometimes ill cut other things

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like loose threads

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it feels

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nicer

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i think it just satisfies my ocd

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i think I snap too much

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i just cant help it though

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i hold far too much inside

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i snapped at my mother who went and got me breakfast for touching my food

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and i didnt even apologize

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like some sort of animal

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i snap at the slightest inconvenience

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totally impulsive jerk

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i really wish i wasnt born with everything i have

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working on being better with all these issues are so

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hard

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its like pushing a rock uphill and then sometimes you slip and just get crushed as it rolls over you

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i like the drama sometimes

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its entertaining

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but then i regret it

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so was it ever really worth it?

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sometimes i wonder if X was right and that all of this was partially my fault

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i believe it sometimes

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but then again

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i busted my ass to try and stop it..

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so it couldnt have

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been my fault

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..right?

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or maybe i was just

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trying to fix the mess i made

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because i felt bad

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maybe i am the poisonous limb

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if i never came back to discord would things have been different?

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then again i never wouldve met him

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in fact if one random event never occured or had a different outcome

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i never would have

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maybe it was just

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Gods plan after all

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Im sorry I have abandoned you and nearly abandoned you so many times.

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I am not one of strong faith

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and I think its because I doubt myself and the world.

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I can explain your word the best I can, but sometimes I doubt you and that makes me a hypocrite

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one who teaches of you should never doubt what they teach

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I am a poor lost sinner that pushes others up while i slowly sink

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and I dont care

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because

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I dont need any appreciation

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and the only joy i need is seeing others happy

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i tear myself up to stop others from drowning

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and i dont care

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about myself at all

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all of them are more important than me

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i work behind the scenes for everyone

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i am a shadow created by the light

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shadows disappear in the dark

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so should the light of others continue to glow, i will continue to be here

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for the dimming scares me

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a flickering light means i disappear

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so i must salvage it

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tend to the flame of others

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too many lights have been flickering

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there are too many of them losing their light for me to care for them all at once

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and as much as i wish i could

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my strength is dwindling with them

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i fall deeper and deeper into a pit

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where are you my shepherd

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have you forgotten about me?

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have I strayed too far from the flock this time?

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or have I pointed too many lost ones to you for you to notice I am missing?

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i cant seem to find my way back

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yet others have found it

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"Oh you of little faith, why are you so afraid?"

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Oh forgive me Father for I have sinned against you and turned away from you far too many times

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Forgive the abuses I have committed against my love, for I have not treated him as a partner should

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I have fallen so far away from my teachings and what I know of you.

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Take me back into your arms, because it is so cold and desolate outside of them.

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Bring me back to what I once was when I was younger.

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Restore that stubborn and solid faith.

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I am so ashamed of the past few weeks.

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I have failed as a partner, friend, a daughter, a believer.

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I let myself be lost to the sins sof my dieseaed mind.

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Forgive me.

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And to sin during such a holy time, where I should be mimicking Jesus' resistance to temptation, I am most ashamed of.

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To break the things you gave me after I asked for them, is nothing but selfish.

left moat Feb 28, 2026, 6:34 PM

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https://open.spotify.com/track/3xXBsjrbG1xQIm1xv1cKOt?si=N_2K_AtVQ-SJ4mAG4Z2WPg

Spotify

One More Light

left moat Feb 28, 2026, 7:03 PM

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i feel like im getting less and less time

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less and less important

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its maing me anxious and

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paranoid

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i dont like me

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overly possessive and overly obsessive and overly emotional

left moat Mar 1, 2026, 12:07 AM

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i feel

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much better now

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im happy

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Im too hard on people and myself I think

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And I forget that Im not

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the only person that has issues

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sometimes

left moat Mar 1, 2026, 5:22 AM

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YES YES YES YES YES

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ONE MORE MONTH

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LunaCheer

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I AM GONNA HAVE THE BEST AND LONGEST RELATIONSHIP EVER

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IVE ALREADY BEATEN MY OAST ONES BY A LANDSLIDE

left moat Mar 1, 2026, 8:06 AM

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fuck me

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shes not responding

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i cant sleep

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im too anxious

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i need to know if shes okay

left moat Mar 1, 2026, 8:37 AM

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please

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i swear

left moat Mar 1, 2026, 5:52 PM

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i just wish I could stop thinking

left moat Mar 1, 2026, 11:04 PM

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109

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my vox plush cane today

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I love him

left moat Mar 2, 2026, 3:16 PM

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i hope everyone is okay

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i worry about them

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more than I should sometimes

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i feel like a mother whose kids have moved away from home

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theyre always on my mind

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i feel that sometimes my worry is overbearing and annoying to them

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i just have a big heart and everyone has a place inside it

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i wonder if I was the reason they left somtimes

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and i know thats not true

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but i have nothing else to point a finger at

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the point of therapy in most cases is to get you to understand yourself and be self aware

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which is why i no longer need it as i am mroe than capable of doing this and administering solutions to my issues

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and when I do need help I am able to reach out

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sometimes i care far too much

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i care so much it hurts sometimes

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sometimes it makes me anxious and restless

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and yet

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the impact i have had, from my constant worry and compassion and care

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have made a tiny tiny ripple

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in the corners of the world

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but i fear it will never be enough

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for the evil of mankind will always remain, regards of how many seeds i sow

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like locusts

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i worry and i worry and i worry

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and i drive myself mad

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i beat myself up, saying i did not do enough

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saying i did not do it right

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saying that it was all my fault

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but i know it is not

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because regardless of if i woke up or not

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there is a chance i would nit have been able to fix anything

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as for the others

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they left and blamed it on me

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although I had little to no part

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im too hard on him sometimes

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and i think its because i just

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im too much like my father, and I want him

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to

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be able

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to be able to just handle people without my intervention, i want him to be able to be successful and just

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more independent I guess

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as much as i enjoy it, its not healthy for him

left moat Mar 2, 2026, 11:00 PM

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i wish

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I felt like I belonged in places

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But everytime I always feel like

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Im just

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floating and trying to be relevant

left moat Mar 3, 2026, 1:57 PM

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111

left moat Mar 3, 2026, 3:20 PM

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sometimes i wish more people would be able to see this side of me, but i hide all my struggles under a rug and take everyone elses

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and wanting to be seen sometimes feels selfish and like attention seeking

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because i just

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take care of everyone else

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and thats whats expected

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theres hardly ever a "hey aus how you doing" "are you really okay?"

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just

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"hey can i talk to you"

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like fine whatever because i need to be the person that is there for them because no one was there for me

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but i want

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to talk sometimes too

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to other people

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about my feelings

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i want to know if im cared about truly, because i dont think many of them do

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maybe thats just cause im cynical

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i wanna know if i mean something to people

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i wanna know if im something else besides the therapist friend

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it feels selfish

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self centered

left moat Mar 3, 2026, 9:02 PM

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I

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wish

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i wasnt

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so stupid

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i dont know how to explain my feelings

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Im just guessing them half the time

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I dont know how to name them

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I hate my adhd

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I hate it

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I hate me

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I hate it when i turn into a ball in my shower because if how much i hate myself

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i hate every single mirror in this house

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i hate being told im pretty when i never feel its true

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i hate people envying my body that i neglect

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that only is the way it is because im ill

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“i wish I was pretty like you” not if you knew the price of how I look comes with

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“you are very pretty and people would kill for your body”

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I never

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feel

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pretty

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so stop lying

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I cant

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“youll embrace your femininity one day” I dont think I ever will

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I hate how unsafe and uncomfortable I feel in feminine clothing

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I hate how unnatural it feels

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I wish I could be pretty

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Like the other alt girls and tomboys

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I wanna look like them

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I wish i could be pretty

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and feel comfortable in my prettiness

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i wish i would stop being such a loser

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im such a loser with hardly any friends

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and yeah thats better than nothing but i want more

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because i dont feel like anyone really likes me

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i want my blood to spill

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i want the sting

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i want the scent

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i

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i want to purge again

left moat Mar 4, 2026, 12:30 AM

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I think my art is dumb

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and childish

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I dont draw anything relatively cool or interesting

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Its just balls with flags on them or a freaking lame ass cat and dog and maybe a planet or two

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I cant draw people though

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I always mess them up

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its stupid and dumb

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i give up

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i dont wanna do art anymore

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im such a fucking child

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I cant get them out of my head the things they said

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Its nagging at me

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All my hobbies and likes are stupid and childish

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I hate this profike

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Its so fucking stupid

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All of it is

left moat Mar 4, 2026, 1:00 AM

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this feels better

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Its not stupid

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Its kinda cool

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I wish I just wasnt stupid and childish

left moat Mar 4, 2026, 1:10 PM

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112

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ughh

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purge

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purge purge purge god

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need to purge

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hell be pissed at me if i do tho

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ugh

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i wish he was awake

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one or

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two

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couldnt hurt

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...

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theres no one to get rid of

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i cant

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purge anything

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theres no one that wont be hurt by the purge\

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what

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to

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do

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im

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idk what to do

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i hate this

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anxious anxious anxious

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tap tap tap

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ughhh

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fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me

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fuck you

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my lips are bleeding

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bit too hard

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fuck you

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i wish theyw ould gget out of my head

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i hate

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thinking of them

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it isnt

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my fauly

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im tempted to just

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dm him

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and flame hi

left moat Mar 4, 2026, 4:49 PM

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i feel so

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small

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i have nothing to

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do

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to help

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ugh

#

um

#

ugh

#

ugh

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i wish i was the way before

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ugh

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i feel so helpless

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i hate

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helplessness

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i feel like so much work for him and i feel so bad for everything this week

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what to do instead of bother him

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and

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pick

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ugh i feel like

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such an annoyance and a pest

left moat Mar 4, 2026, 5:55 PM

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ugh

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dumb

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i think i make him look

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stupid

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maybe hes just saying he likes it because he doesnt wanna hurt my feelings..

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no

#

ugh

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yes

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i should just

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stop with the stupid fucking bios and stupid profiles

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theyre so

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stupid

left moat Mar 6, 2026, 2:08 AM

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113

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I found a new server home

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Im really happy

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theres a ton of new people

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it feels like a fresh start

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A much

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needed fresh start

left moat Mar 6, 2026, 3:38 AM

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fucking pathetic

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genuinely so fucking pathetic and stupid

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grow a fucking pair

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take the harmless 10 second joke

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Move on you stupid fucking bitch boy

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no one gives a shit if you dont like them

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no one else gives if a shit if they dont like then either

left moat Mar 6, 2026, 8:37 PM

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fuck my stupid fucking life

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I hate this fucking ass profile

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i cant find a fucking good on

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i hate everything

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i fucking hate this

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his profile even looks better when its not matching with mone

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I fuckingbhage everything

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I just wish i could fucking explode im so sick of being like this

left moat Mar 6, 2026, 9:02 PM

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fuck me I guess

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not like i care

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not like any of our shit together is important or that i have other shit i need to dk

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fuck me

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dont even ever notice either

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im a fucking idiot

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i dont fucking matter to anyone

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114

#

and I think im gonan throw it down thw toilet

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i feel so fucking stupid all the time

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like such a fucking idiotic hypocrite

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I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself

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just

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fuck

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me

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i have forsaken him anyways

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far too many times

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theres no use in returning to the father anymore

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i dont deserve it anymore

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so fucking

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Pathetic

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reaching of fauth and hope

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and you dont have an ounce of it left in you anymore

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i feel this is appropriate https://open.spotify.com/track/31AOj9sFz2gM0O3hMARRBx?si=j5iqs1BNS12u1YDB7ColZQ

Spotify

Losing My Religion

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i feel awful

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ive just

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lost faith in everything

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and i hate pretending that i havent

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i feel like im trying to convince myself i am not a shameful believer

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that all i am is doubtful

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but no

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I think this is the end of my faith

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I just dont see it anymore

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and i feel like crying over it

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im so disgusted with myself

left moat Mar 8, 2026, 6:14 PM

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I suchk man

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116

#

Im such a horrible roleplayer now

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I cant do crp for shit

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I hate myself

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I’m actually such a stupid person

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sad_scared

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And Im a horribke

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friend and girlfriend

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Maybe I need to go back on my anti depressants

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So I can stop snapping at everyone left and right

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my art sucks to

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I dont feel like im good at anything anymore

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I havent talked to any of my steam friends

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I look like such a hypocrite

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Im so sick of myself

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I look so disgusting

left moat Mar 9, 2026, 12:36 AM

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https://open.spotify.com/track/52ojopYMUzeNcudsoz7O9D?si=og7oA6I1RQyLLLBjtaDKww

Spotify

New Person, Same Old Mistakes

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https://tenor.com/view/wall-slide-patrick-j-adams-john-glenn-the-right-stuff-look-down-gif-18794497

Tenor

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Hes right

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I just think my mind is getting worse

left moat Mar 9, 2026, 12:33 PM

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117

left moat Mar 9, 2026, 6:08 PM

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ugh

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I dont think I will matter enough to any of them for them to keep in touch with me

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after we all go our separate ways after graduation…

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Im just

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gonna be alone

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Ill be the only one still here

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sad_scared

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Im gonna start all over again on the bottom of the social food chain, not that i was ever up that high on it

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no ones even gonna be here for my birthday

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its not fair

left moat Mar 9, 2026, 11:42 PM

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I noticed Im hypersexual again…

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And I had worked so hard to get out of it

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nervy

left moat Mar 10, 2026, 1:35 AM

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Alright

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Game plan

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I just

#

wont

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Do that stuff

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And then

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I dont have to think about all that shit they said

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And crave more

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Thats

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perfect

#

I think

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Im gonna fail at this two days in probably

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But fuck it

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Ill start another counter

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Today is day one because I havent done that

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Once My counter reaches 60 I should be okay

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117
1

left moat Mar 10, 2026, 2:24 PM

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118
2

left moat Mar 10, 2026, 5:05 PM

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ughhhhhh

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why do they always get themselves into more drama

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i wish ti would end

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im starting to get sick of being the delegate

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i really hope she takes care of it

#

i worry itll get neglected and shell get an infection

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i hope i dont get covid from my friend

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but a week break would be nice

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i hurt my lip

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it wont stop bleeding\

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and it keeps opening back up

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why must you test me so my lord

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when do I get to have peace for once

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Im tired

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of all these trials

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what could you possibly be preparing me for

left moat Mar 11, 2026, 1:52 AM

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ughhhh

#

fuck

#

fuck

#

fuck

#

fuck

#

FUCK ME

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YOU STUPID FUCKING

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YOURE SO FUCKING STUPID AUS

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sad_scared

left moat Mar 11, 2026, 11:46 AM

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ugh

#

im probably failing all of them as a friend

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i wish i could make all their pain go away and fix everything

#

but im not God

#

the most i can do i think

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is pray

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and i feel stupid for only being able to do that much

#

its gotten out of my hands

#

and its like sand

#

i cant keep it

#

in

#

control

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its slipping through the cracks of my fingers

#

im sleeping earlier and earlier because im so exhausted from this

#

im working like a horse to help

#

im so tired

#

and im just failing them now

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im sorry

#

im trying

#

but im not helping enough

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im sorry im failing you all

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god i wish I could be better for you all

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im pretty fucking useless

#

i wish i was better for all of them

#

ughhh

#

my lip is bleeding again

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fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me

#

fuck

#

me

#

my

#

fucking

#

god

#

fucking

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DAMN IT

#

why cant he be awake

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i need him

#

i need my boy

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GOD WHY ARE SO YOU FUCKIGN DEPENDENT ON OTHER PEOPLE

#

ugh

left moat Mar 11, 2026, 12:54 PM

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Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

left moat Mar 11, 2026, 4:12 PM

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i hope that helped

#

i dont think i did good enough\

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i hope i did

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i wish i was nicer to him maybe he wouldnt think all those things

left moat Mar 11, 2026, 8:25 PM

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great.

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Just fucking great.

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I FUCKING HATE YOU

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WHY DO YOU KEEP FUCKONG DOING THIS TO ME GOD

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STOP TAKING AWAY EVERYONE FROM ME

#

FUCKS SAKE

#

I FUCKING HATE YOU

#

NO

#

YOU KNOW WHAT

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IM DONE

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FUCK THE FUCKING COUNTER

#

FUCK YOU

#

FUCK THE COUNTER

#

AND I HOPE I ROT IN FUCKING HELL

#

IM SICK OF THIS FUCKING BULLSHIT

#

I want to break something

#

there

#

I broke the fucking highlighter in half

#

I just snapped it

#

Broken

#

just like everything else in my fucking shitty life

#

All my friends are gonna leave me and kill themsleves

#

And hes going to leave me and my family is going to kick me out and theyll all die

#

Ill be alone for fucking ever and Im gonna be the happiest fucking bitch possible because I am so sick and tired of losing people

#

i want more stuff to break

#

rip thing

#

I want to tear down this whole fucking house

#

Im going to throw my phone in the basement

#

and then have a fucking fit like a toddler

left moat Mar 11, 2026, 8:54 PM

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i nearly slipped with the knife and cut myself as I whittled

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i wish it cut

#

me

#

whatever

#

i dont care

left moat Mar 12, 2026, 12:18 AM

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Fuck me

#

Fucking piece of shit

#

thats what you are Aus

#

119

#

I went

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two days

#

But I havent had an urge today

#

but I broke it

#

yesterday

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fucking whore

#

youre a fucking whore aus

#

Youre a disgusting

#

fucking person

#

You hate looking at the mirror

#

so you wear your glasses all the time

#

to avoid your reflection in the morning

#

To avoid how fucking ugly you look

#

Youre a fucking stick

#

Youre nothing

#

ugh

#

man

left moat Mar 12, 2026, 10:25 AM

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Well that shit went out the window

#

But

#

I only thought about him

#

So I guess its okay now

left moat Mar 12, 2026, 12:40 PM

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120

left moat Mar 12, 2026, 1:32 PM

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man

#

I hate myself

left moat Mar 12, 2026, 5:14 PM

#

fuck me

#

and fuck you and your stupid opinion

#

i cant find another stupid thing for it

#

i wanted to use that one

#

it was perfect

left moat Mar 12, 2026, 7:44 PM

#

im such a fucking

#

Ugh

#

I just dont want to ask

#

I have enough on my plate already

#

i just wanted some help

#

its whatever

left moat Mar 12, 2026, 9:52 PM

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im always a manipulator

#

maybe x was right to say all those things

#

maybe i was jn the wrong the whole time

#

sad_scared

#

i hate having shitty weeks

#

everything goes wrong

#

for the entire week

#

i hate my life

#

i hate it when i just explode in my room into a fucking temper tantrum like a fucking two year old

#

Im just tired of keeping everything in

#

and staying composed

left moat Mar 13, 2026, 10:14 AM

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i dont get it

#

Hes able to spend 134$ on fucking clothes for himself

#

But he doesnt want to spend a measly 20-30$ on aa pair of pants for me

left moat Mar 13, 2026, 1:17 PM

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fuck me

#

i hate myself

#

im so fucking selfish and greedy

#

121

#

he deserves a much better girlfriend

#

its stupid pants anyways

#

i dont care

#

im not gonna feel good anyways

#

my whole week has sucked

#

yesterday i learned about passive suicide

#

and i think that is what i do a lot

#

i dont really want to die at the end of the day

#

its a serious permanent solution to a temporary issue

#

but i just dont know what else to do

#

other than to just

#

sleep

#

and hope i dont wake up

#

but last night I saw a tiktok

#

its the little things that keep me going

#

the hug i get from my mom when i come home

#

the dinner conversations and laughs

#

that make the world feel a little less heavy

#

the notes he wrote me

#

that remind me that im still valued, even when i think i have become worthless

#

that remind me that theres always two sides to a coin

#

and no matter what i think of myself

#

theres still good

#

and so maybe

#

its not so bad again

#

not like it was after she died

#

maybe i dont need to be happy with myself right now

#

i can be happy with my looks later

#

all that matters are their happiness

#

not mine

#

mine can wait

#

he needs to be happy with himself first

#

oh how they do not know all the sacrifices i make for all of them

#

how much time

#

sleep

#

energy

#

money

#

my own sense of self

#

ill blow away into dust, the happiest i can be, when theyre all happy and better, because i will have given every part of me i can

#

and thats all i want in life

#

yesterday I had tea with my friends

#

it was nice

#

i wanted to cut yesterday but

#

im glad

#

i had that delay home

#

because it made my day a bit better

#

it felt freeing

left moat Mar 13, 2026, 7:20 PM

#

I GAINED A POUND

#

YAY

left moat Mar 14, 2026, 12:59 AM

#

I wish he could see himself the way I do

#

The kind compassionate, loving and yearnful man that I love

#

The beautiful smart boy

#

that could never be a disgusting person

#

I wish he could see his urges dont define who he is to me

#

That they dont matter to me and affect how i think of him

#

i dont know how to get him out of that thinking

#

I wish he knew that I like when he talks about his thoughts

#

that I feel special

#

And loved in a way thats not listful

#

And its instances like this where

#

I feel like

#

hes drifting away

#

I miss how it was at the beginning

#

It was easier for both of us

#

We didn’t have so many issues together

#

And now

#

Its just

#

Unhealed trauma

#

And two kids

#

trying to figure out how to fix something they didnt cause

#

I wish he knew how badly I want to carve his name into my skin and make it scar and how much that thought alone makes me feel so lewd because I get off on if

#

I dont know how to help him

#

and he wont let me either i dont think

#

why cant he understand how much Im so helplessly infatuated with him

#

why doesnt he ever believe

#

me

#

Im

#

So fristrated

#

he never fully lsistens to me

#

everything was fine

#

and then I just had to uphold my promise

#

And tell him I wasnt fully interested

#

And now Im probably going to have a breakdown

#

nothings helping me

left moat Mar 14, 2026, 1:39 AM

#

I want to throw the towel in I think

#

I feel hopeless

left moat Mar 14, 2026, 8:09 PM

#

#

122

#

Today we had a date

#

I liked it

#

even though it got slightly interrupted

left moat Mar 15, 2026, 9:06 PM

#

123

left moat Mar 16, 2026, 12:24 AM

#

i wanna be a furry so badddd space_kitty_cry

#

I wanna have fluffy paws that squeak and paw socks and a fluffy tail and ears

#

kitty_dance

#

Im afraid of ordering stuff though and my parents finding it

#

SadTotem

#

but i want themmmm

#

ughhh

left moat Mar 16, 2026, 12:35 PM

#

124

left moat Mar 16, 2026, 12:58 PM

#

im so fucking weird man

#

i hate myself for it

#

but i really

#

like

#

doing it

#

even though i know its wrong and weird

#

all my friends are gonna hate me now

#

maybe not

#

i mean

#

theyve already accepted me coming out as a GNC

#

and then they accepted my name changed

#

i just dont

#

know

#

i hate my body

#

i hate how i claw at my sides in the shower as i curl up in a ball crying

#

"people would kill for your body" yeah but mine comes with ugly cons of self hatred and disgust

#

too skinny to be healthy, but skinny enough for the beauty standards

#

i dont like them

#

i hate them

#

ive felt better not shaving anything

#

but as warmer weather approches my mother is going to harass me

#

telling me what an antisocial person i am

#

even though i never let my hair get long

#

i always keep it short

#

yet somehow im anti social

#

i just want to be myself

#

i havent been myself in years...

#

i wanna dress alternative

#

i want to get vampire teeth

#

i want to dye my hair

#

i want to have some muscles

#

i want to be a healthy weight

#

i want to be pretty in my own way

#

not societies stupid pedophilic ways..

#

i want to be pretty

#

the way i feel pretty

#

not everyone elses definition

#

just mine

#

i feel prettiest in a suit

#

i feel the best in mens clothes and i feel so much more protected in them

#

but thats not normal or correct

#

its not my fault i hate showing skin

#

i like ripped jeans

#

thats the most i will ever show

#

i dont like crop tops

#

or skirts

#

dresses

#

shorts

#

i like cargo pants

#

cargo shorts

#

i like baggy bulky clothes

#

everyday i see kids being themselves and

#

i envy them

#

i wanna look like they do and be happy with myself

#

everyone tells me one day ill grow into my feminity

#

but i will never feel safe being feminine...

#

its far too immodest for me

#

too much skin

#

i dont even like showing my shoulders

#

i never have

#

for as long as i can remember i have hated showing skin

#

im really happy he gets to be pretty

#

but i envy him

#

i almost

#

always envy him

#

i am an envious person

#

i envy many people

#

i just

#

never show it

left moat Mar 16, 2026, 2:02 PM

#

im so dependent on him

#

i miss him so much

#

i feel like my world is crumbling

#

and hes just sleeping

#

im so pathetic

#

i probably ruined the rp for him

#

because i rped with him so much

#

i drained him

#

i drain everyone

#

im having a tiny panic attack

#

i really miss him

left moat Mar 16, 2026, 2:31 PM

#

ugh

#

im so stupid

#

i wanna puke

#

i hate myself

#

im not good enough

#

im a fucking weirdo

#

he hates me

#

they all hate me

#

im a disgusting piece of shit

left moat Mar 16, 2026, 4:01 PM

#

i hate myself

#

stupid stupid weirdo

#

i wanna puke

#

why are you like this

#

gross

#

fucking

#

creep

#

weirdo

#

fucking

#

weirdo

#

I hate myself

left moat Mar 16, 2026, 4:37 PM

#

this is some absolute bullshit

#

I cant believe this shit

left moat Mar 16, 2026, 4:54 PM

#

I hate myself again

#

I dont even know if I can be angry with her anymore

#

fucking wimp

#

i literally cant be angry at her for it

#

because its for her fucking pin

#

pain

#

my stomach hurts

#

Its hungry

#

But I

#

dont feel like eating anything

#

Im not hungry

#

but I am

#

at the same time

#

I want to puke first

#

i cant do that though

#

i hate myself

#

i shouldnt have brushed my hair today

#

i wouldnt have seen myself in the mirror

left moat Mar 16, 2026, 6:13 PM

#

i dont feel like i belong anywhere

#

i wish my friends loved me the way i love them

#

i feel so out of place

#

I dont even feel like i fit in the one place I love thats not home

#

left moat Mar 16, 2026, 8:46 PM

#

ruin everything cause im stupid

#

i give up

#

https://tenor.com/view/sad-animated-cool-white-backround-tears-gif-12786563

Tenor

#

i shouldve never said anything

#

never made any rules

#

i hate you aus

#

i hate you so much

#

one day theyre all gonna say it to me

#

even him

#

I hate you I hate you I hate you

#

youre a horrble person aus

#

I hate you

#

youre so hypocritical aus

#

i hate you

#

ypure such an abusive person aus

#

you never treated any of us right

#

left moat Mar 16, 2026, 10:00 PM

#

i am not helpful anymore am i

#

i cant help him

left moat Mar 17, 2026, 6:59 AM

#

i cant sleep

left moat Mar 17, 2026, 12:15 PM

#

im finally fucking over his dumb ass

left moat Mar 17, 2026, 12:44 PM

#

125

left moat Mar 17, 2026, 3:09 PM

#

bleh

#

i wanna go home

stray estuary Mar 17, 2026, 7:44 PM

#

left moat

But it is the white pencil that brings life and beauty to a drawing. You're not useless. You bring value to people's lives

left moat Mar 17, 2026, 9:27 PM

#

I really fw this song https://open.spotify.com/track/6CJABsHyFh5uFZ72MAKTBN?si=6n-ODpEnT-KkG9ql9pk1eA

Spotify

MY JEALOUSY - Slowed

#

Just fits me

left moat Mar 17, 2026, 10:16 PM

#

do they even care

left moat Mar 17, 2026, 11:53 PM

#

i dont think they di

#

and i dont think they ever will

#

And as long as they dont notice

#

thats fine too

#

They cant notice when the mask is cracking because there 10 more underneath it

#

Its so easy to fake a smile and laugh

#

And pretend that everything is fine

#

but the moment I step foot in my house

#

its gone

#

its back to my rotting in my bed or chair

#

Doing my work

#

Rping keeps me going somedays

#

other times its him

#

then its back to staring at the empty phone

#

the most notifications i get from anyone are from emails

#

Never does someone once want to talk to me

#

And thats why I remain alone but not really alone

#

Im happy but not really

#

Its fake dopamine from the meds

#

Im numb and empty

#

I’m always going to be a social cripple

#

nothing will ever change thay

#

They all are going away anyways

#

I wasnt even supposed to be alive this long.

#

Just the other day i was crying over it

#

At 14 I never once thought I would be graduating

#

let alone be turnin 18 soon

#

I didnt want to make it this far

#

But I did anyway

#

Mainly out of fear

#

and

#

I had found my reason to be here

#

as much as it works me to death

#

and i hate it

#

i don’t like tearing myself apart to keep other people together

#

its all I ever see to be good for

left moat Mar 18, 2026, 11:32 AM

#

126

left moat Mar 19, 2026, 10:56 AM

#

127

left moat Mar 19, 2026, 3:14 PM

#

ugh

#

"leave me alone"
okay i will
"ill leave you alone then"
??

#

i dont understand

#

maybe im just stupid

#

or too

#

literal

#

or whatever

#

no

#

im not stupid

#

im just being another carpet

#

i need

#

to stop

#

just

#

ugh

#

youd think Id be able to advocate for myself better than I do because of how well I advocate for others

true crown Mar 19, 2026, 7:42 PM

#

left moat

white colored pencils are very valuable to skilled artists, they’re what help blend the piece and tie it all together instead of it looking like a scribbled mess. You just need to find the right people who value you twin 🫂 💜

left moat Mar 19, 2026, 10:28 PM

#

the urge

#

to just

#

vanish

#

from everyone

#

is pretty intense right now

#

and I might just begin the purge

left moat Mar 20, 2026, 1:24 AM

#

left moat Mar 20, 2026, 7:15 PM

#

128

left moat Mar 20, 2026, 8:04 PM

#

This one goes out to J.S.

left moat Mar 21, 2026, 4:23 AM

#

I hate this fucking body sm

#

I cant get all the hair off

#

No matter how hard i try or scrape

#

I hate how ugly i am

left moat Mar 22, 2026, 6:44 PM

#

130

left moat Mar 23, 2026, 1:00 PM

#

131

left moat Mar 23, 2026, 3:21 PM

#

left moat Mar 23, 2026, 3:38 PM

#

i really just hate myself today

#

#

#

left moat Mar 23, 2026, 7:39 PM

#

im so proud of him

#

he set his boundaries finally and he stood by it

left moat Mar 24, 2026, 11:34 AM

#

132

#

im having a panic attack right now

#

i dont know why

#

and its nkt going away

#

im like

#

shaking

left moat Mar 24, 2026, 4:26 PM

#

left moat Mar 24, 2026, 6:08 PM

#

Im doing it again

#

I was doing so well too

#

fuck me man

#

man…

#

No no

#

No

#

Im

#

Not going to push everyone away

#

Dont do it

#

Dont

#

Dont do this

#

Youre going to regret it

#

Dont do this

#

come on

#

just keep shaking

#

i dont

#

want to do this

#

jesus

#

i want to hit myself

#

you let it get worse again

#

you let yourself fall down the hole again

#Austria’s Scibbles