#Boden’s Main Journal

1 messages · Page 3 of 1

cobalt drum
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Dont even get me fucking started

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In another server i posted pictures of myself

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I thought the fit was actually cool

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But nahhh

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I wasnt wearing a shirt in the image and this absolute degenerate incel comes along, no girlfriend and zero life. Not even a JOB.

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And goes

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Put a shirt on you hurt my eyes

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Like sybau lil bro

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Absolute cornball

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Hes in other servers with me too 😭

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He literally PRAYS on my downfall

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I just cant prove it

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Anyways that truly boosted my body image 👍 /sarc

cobalt drum
cobalt drum
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I got an unlit cigarette

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Absolutely peak

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Unlit tobacco smells so good

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Im gonna sing runaway by kanye west and smoke it

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So when you see my profile playing runaway

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You know whats happening 🔥

cobalt drum
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Man

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Im afraid

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Of it all

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Just so much

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Cigarette smoked

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Now i got that relaxation

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That slight buzz

cobalt drum
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Changed my name and pfp

cobalt drum
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My name color looks good

cobalt drum
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They praying on my downfall bro 🥀😭

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They arent even hiding it atp

acoustic path
cobalt drum
cobalt drum
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You guys will never guess what happened at work today

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Boss touched my ass

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(Shes at least 55 btw)

jolly umbra
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Bro wtf 😳

cobalt drum
jolly umbra
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Well, you’d definitely have a hard time getting the right people to take you seriously

cobalt drum
acoustic path
cobalt drum
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One day im just gonna break

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Ill push everyone away

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And end up hurting others

cobalt drum
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You'll never be able to push me away

jolly umbra
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I have pushed away almost everybody, it’s very easy to withdraw once you descend into darkness

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It’s not a nice place to be I wouldn’t recommend it

cobalt drum
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Man i just make people sad and depressed

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And uncomfortable

cobalt drum
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Don't let your overthinking deceive you

cobalt drum
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Run away fast as you can

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Run away from me baby

cobalt drum
cobalt drum
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Bruh

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Fuckin dickheads

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All of em

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Except Ko

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Ko didnt ignore mw

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Its actually frightening that i relate to this song now

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I just…

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Man…

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Gut wrenching

cobalt drum
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I wanna cry but like

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I cant get myself to cry

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Like ill be so close

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Just for me not be able to shed a single fuckin tear

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Im hot

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Its hot

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But i cant sleep without a blanket on sooo

cobalt drum
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Im in an extremely depressive state

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Man this sucks

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At least the music is peak

cobalt drum
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Bro im so fucked in the head abt this surgery

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Not for the actual thing

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But just for the fuckin recovery

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Sling for six weeeekskskdkdkckcjicjc

cobalt drum
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I wanna do really bad things

jolly umbra
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What did you say the surgery was for?

cobalt drum
cobalt drum
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Man i hate it all

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If i never tried wrestling i wouldnt be here

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In this fuckin position

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Id be working out still

cobalt drum
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Man im so fuckin depressed rn

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Fml

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I hate eveyrthing

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I want to fucking die

opal siren
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dont do anything rash man, dms are open if you wann vent

cobalt drum
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Man i ruin everything

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I fuckin hate myself

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Man fuck this shit

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Runaway from me baby

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Man i feel like throwing up

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This fuckass surgery

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Makes me so fucking sad

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I hate everything

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Dont dm me

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Ask first

cobalt drum
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Damn

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Even trying my fucking best isnt enough

jolly umbra
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And yeah it sucks knowing that sometimes people’s best isn’t enough and never will be

cobalt drum
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Mhm

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Seems that mine never is

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Oh fuckin well

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Man..

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I dont deserve her

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I really dont

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All i do is make her uncomfortable

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I ruin all of it

thorny dagger
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🫂

cobalt drum
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I didnt say the n-word cus im white

jagged wind
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Cool room

cobalt drum
cobalt drum
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I feel like im losing her

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Im so scared

jolly umbra
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Who are you talking about?

cobalt drum
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God damn

jolly umbra
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It seems to me like you guys really care about each other though

cobalt drum
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Buh

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I feel like throwing up

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Bejfjfjfjg

cobalt drum
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Chat okay wtf

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What goes through someones head in order to encourage someone to threaten someone else with a gun

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Like

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What

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The

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Actual

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Fuck

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What the actual bean

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Sorry I had to

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And the craziest bit is

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Is that

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The mfs aint know what being around real gun violence is like

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Guns are fuckin scary man

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Take away someones life in an instant

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I dont think people truly understand how fucking terrible guns are

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Especially using one for violent implications on another human being

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Ive seen robberies in gas stations

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That shit is terrifying

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You ever looked down a barrel knowing the faceless person at the other side could make one decision and blow you head smooth off?

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Jesus fucking christ dude

cobalt drum
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So much is going through my brain rn…

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I need to go to sleep

plush fjord
cobalt drum
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Shoulder hurtssdssssss

cobalt drum
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Not going to school today

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I still need to recover

cobalt drum
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Hayahdhdhd

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Shoulder hurts

cobalt drum
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I hope i dont have a bunch of hw

cobalt drum
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I feel like i have a pinched nerve on my left hip

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Its numb but sharp pains when something touches it wrong

jolly umbra
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Yikes can’t say I’ve had a pinched nerve, that sounds awful

cobalt drum
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Gonna try and go to school today

cobalt drum
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What a rough day today

cobalt drum
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Im starting to think its more than a pinched nerve

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I was walking up some stairs today and it flared up and it was the single handed worst pain ive ever felt

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Like physically curlled up and shouted in pain

jolly umbra
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Yikes that sounds really bad, wonder what it could be then

cobalt drum
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Fuck

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The area is only growing

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My shoulder hurts

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My hip stings and burns

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Man i wanna just die so badly rn

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I hate everything

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This is me

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In pain

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Such pain

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God give me deliverance

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Give me peace

quasi granite
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you need to go to the doctor dawg

jolly umbra
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Mhm

cobalt drum
cobalt drum
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Been taking so much meds lately

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Idek if ive been taking my lexapro

cobalt drum
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Okay so as we know

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Charlie kirk died

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Idk if im spelling his name correctly

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And weather you agree or disagree with his beliefs he was a father and husband

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He was killed for his beliefs and no matter how bad a person might be nobody deserves to die

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Im keeping his family in my prayers

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I dont agree with what he stood for but im a decent human being so im going to pray for his family

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Nobody deserves to die

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Especially for what they believe in

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Thats all

jolly umbra
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At the very least his death will do more harm by negatively affecting his family

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The world is a fucked place and I’m constantly reminded of that

cobalt drum
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It makes me sad to see how people are reacting to the charlie kirk killing

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Hey ko

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That was quick

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God its horrible

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People are praising the person who mudered him

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He was a father and husband

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Nobody deserves to die

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I can only imagine how scared he was in his final moments

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If you grew joy from seeing this man die today you truly are a terrible person

bitter lichen
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im glad we have people like you in the world who care, you're a great person. ty.

cobalt drum
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I made an instagram post

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Its so sad

tired kettle
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Rest in peace huddlecuteghost

bitter lichen
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prayers out to his family dude. they were in the audience.

cobalt drum
cobalt drum
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Jesus fucking Christ

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Makes me sick to see people celebrating this

bitter lichen
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anyways, dont let the people get you down. love yourself, we here for you.

cobalt drum
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If you rejoiced today about the killing of kirk please block me and never talk to me again

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I will have it known that i do not agree with much he talked about but he should not have been killed

opal siren
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I agree with your beliefs here

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He was a complete and absolute asshole
BUT
He did NOT deserve to die

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Disappointed in humanity

opal siren
tidal granite
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He wasn't a great person, but death is too brutal. No one deserves to die, and that was just a brutal way to go out. I hope his family is dealing with it well

cobalt drum
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I looked in the mirror after taking off my sling to take a shower and my shoulder already looks so weak. It used to be like strong and muscular looking and it was. I was pretty fuckin strong. But now it just looks sad and weak

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All my work gone

quasi granite
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he was a horrible person in my opinion. but that doesn’t justify what happened to him.

cobalt drum
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Hard day today

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But i might go shopping for vinyls later

cobalt drum
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Watching your father get murdered in front of you

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Two children will grow up without a father

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Those children will have life long scars

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And i actually think it wasn’t political

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I think it was a religious disagreement

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A

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disagreement

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he was killed over a simple collide of views

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I dont kill muslims and jewish people because they praise other gods

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Praying for the kirk family

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Again

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I will say this

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i do not agree with him. He was a dickhead and an asshole

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But to see people celebrating his death makes me sick

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People like that are sick

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Nobody deserves that

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When i day nobody i mean nobody

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Not a single person

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What a shitty week

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Two school shootings

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Assasination

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D4vd having a dead body in his tesla

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He fuckin killed someone

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The dude who made “feel it” caught a body

quasi granite
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today’s 9/11 too

cobalt drum
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What a fuckin week

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Fuck i hate everything right now

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I need to get out of the house again before i do some dumbass shit

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Charlie didnt deserve that man…

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I saw the uncensored video today

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I cant imagine being 12 and seeing that

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I also saw someone wearing a MAGA hat today

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God i hate everything so much

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I hate everything and everyone

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I hate

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Hate

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Hate

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Istg im going into a mental breakdown

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Fuck this fucking shit

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This is such fucking bullshit

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Fucking hell

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Fuck

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Everything

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Fuck

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Everyone

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Im so fucking done

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Im pissed

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Im hurt

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And really fucking sad

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Fuck everybody

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Fuck everybody

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Im so fucking angry

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At everyone

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At everything

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I wanna hurt a lot of people

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And i also want to hurt myself

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A lot

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Fuck this fucking bullshit

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Im so done

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How much you wanna bet that 80% of the people that read my bits on charlie kirk automatically see me differently now because i said he didnt deserve to get fucking killed because nobody does 😭😭😭 LMFAOOOOOO

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FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUU

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FUCK ALL Y’ALLLLL

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🖕😆

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God damn this dumbass shit

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Im actually going fucking mental rn

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Like

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Look at ts

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Im actually losing my shit

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He was a terrible fucking person man

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But he aint deserve that

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His family didnt deserve that

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Nobody does man

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Aint nobody deserve that

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🙁

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Im just

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Im done

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Im sooooo fucking done

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With it all

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If you aint fw me no more hmu in dms and lmk

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And then go fuck off and leave me alone

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Peace and love or sum shit like that

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✌️🕊️

cobalt drum
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Its only getting worse

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What does it take to be a half decent human

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Celebrating his death makes you no better than he was

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Maybe even worse…

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Like

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Imagine watching one of your loved ones get m*rdured just for people who “spread love and positivity” to be celebrating their death.

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Coming from a hard left winged liberal btw

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Bro im actually like

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Tweaking out

errant hearth
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Im here man

cobalt drum
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Shsundicjxixjdjd

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Like

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Bro

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Its just

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Im sitting there

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Trying to PRETEND that im not losing my FUCKIJ mind

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Jeodjdifkcdoxjcfudicif

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Fndifjf

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Sickening

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I dont even know what to do

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I was gonna go out to barnes and noble to look for some cool vinyls but nooooo

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I cant do that anymore

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The game is pissing me off

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Anything online is pmo

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Life is just pmo

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Man

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I promise that at least 5 people read my journal these past few days and immediately their view on me changed

plush fjord
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Omg I just got recommended a video from fox News and it’s like of what the president said after Charli died and Im pretty sure it’s ai

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wtf man thats just so disrespectful i never agreed with anything he said but he was like one of trum’s biggest supporters and he just makes it ai?

cobalt drum
plush fjord
cobalt drum
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Fox lost credibility like 20 years ago

plush fjord
cobalt drum
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What a fuckin day

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At least im watching some yt

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Relaxation

plush fjord
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God damnit, since Kirk is now like trending Im getting a lot of videos about him

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This is annoying 😭
Let me feeling a little empathy for vro y’all are making it hard

cobalt drum
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🙁

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My arm looks like it lost muscle

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I worked so hard… 🙁

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Now its all gone

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Well ig after i get it healed and go through pt ill be able to go to the gym again

cobalt drum
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This little girl will never see her father ever again

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Watched im get his jugular blown across the floor

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And people celebrating it

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Do better

cobalt drum
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Im so tired of it all

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If i ever get to talk with someone celebrating kirks death i will force them to watch the video until they cry and feel ashamed for their actions

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Maybe not that harsh but you get it

cobalt drum
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Lately ive been just so done with everything and everyone

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Like

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Just hating everything

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Im pretty sure im in some sort of episode

cobalt drum
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I'm here for you

cobalt drum
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I feel like ive been so off for the past couple of days

cobalt drum
cobalt drum
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I just get ignored

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Im tired of everyone

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Im kinda just hating everyone

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Im in a terrible mood

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I dont rly wanna talk to many people

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Unless like

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Logan, emi, miso, Ko.

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Anyone else please ask

tired kettle
cobalt drum
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At least i got my kitty cats

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Im eating ice cream and watching south park

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South park makes me laugh

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I like south park

errant hearth
cobalt drum
errant hearth
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I'm sorry man

cobalt drum
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Stan’s dog is gay

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And everyone thinks its bad

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And hes sad

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Poor doggy

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I also finally got all my bandages off

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Yay

cobalt drum
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THEY PUT KENNY IN THE MICROWAVE

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NOOO

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😭😭😭😭

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HE GOT ALL SHRIVELED UP INTO A SKELETON

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😭😭😭😭

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Poor kenny

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My kitty

IMG_4240.jpg
shrewd ingot
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hey, I just saw this, keep going man heart3

cobalt drum
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Its just been an overall terrible week for my mental state tbh

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I feel like im in some sort of episode

shrewd ingot
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-# idk your age but you seem mature so it doesnt really matter ^^

cobalt drum
shrewd ingot
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I know how its like to be treated a certain way because people think they know better bc of your age

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while mentally youre far ahead

cobalt drum
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Exactly

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Tbh thats why i dont give my age out often

shrewd ingot
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and you cant say anything outloud because they will misunderstand and "try to fix you" instead

cobalt drum
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Preach

shrewd ingot
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same here

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stayed quiet for 23 years

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until I was old enough to say "I do what I want"

cobalt drum
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I just feel like i mentally grew uo faster than everyone around me and now its starting to tank on my mental

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Like having the brain of an adult but when i say something im not taken seriously because “your just a kid”

shrewd ingot
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I know

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hang in there

cobalt drum
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Im tryin

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I wish i could do more with my life

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I feel like im not enough

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For anybody

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Like i dont deserve them

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That they need someone better

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Because i know ill never be able tio give them what they need in life

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My music

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Sucks

shrewd ingot
#

keep doing it

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get better by learning

cobalt drum
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My physical wellbeing is currently that of a crippled alcoholic baby

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I can hardly get up from a chair

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Fucking shoulder

cobalt drum
shrewd ingot
cobalt drum
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All my production is just buns

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Like straight ass

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No matter how many ways i try

shrewd ingot
#

keep doing it till its not asss

cobalt drum
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How much i tweak it

shrewd ingot
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keep going

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one day

cobalt drum
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I have one song that ive ever completed

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And its truly terrible

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Grah

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I just

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I feel so fuckin useless

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Work kept me busy

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Now im just left at home

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With nothin

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There are some stories from Chicago that idk if ill ever tell anybody here.

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Man i should probably sleep

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I might start using this as a more journaly thing

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Like by writing what goes on un my life

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But also have stuff like how i do it now

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Man I’m starting ti think I’m in some sort of episode. Ive been so shit for the whole week. And getting worse by each passing day. I feel manic, maybe even psychotic. Man im not even exaggerating man. Its so fuckin bad.

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Im genuinely hating people

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All people

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Just

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Jesus christ

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Kaz, emi, Logan, kya, ko, and miso. Are the only people who can dm me without asking at the moment. Anyone else please ask.

Thank you huddleheartshape

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Oh and john

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John can dm too

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That is all

shrewd ingot
#

hope youre better soon

cobalt drum
#

Why do people think im a femboy

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Im almost 6 foot and people say i have a deep voice

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I think im the opposite of one

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And i dont think its funny to call me one

cobalt drum
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Dear god

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Im no perfect man

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But please send love and peace to my friend john

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He deserves it

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You are merciful and loving

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I would be much greatful if you could send him good things

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Amen

cobalt drum
#

I hate people even more

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Tonight has not failed at making my self esteem and mental health deteriorate

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Thanks to me simply being unaware of “femboy culture”

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And its set the stage for me to be picked on

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I hate everyone

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I wanna cry

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And do other rly bad things

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I wanna put a bullet between my damn teeth

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@foggy flume here

foggy flume
#

Honestly dude, I appreciate you are trying to get better

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Venting helps a lot

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These thoughts will fade away

cobalt drum
#

-miso-

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Dear diary,
Goodnight. huddleheartshape

cobalt drum
#

Good morning diary,
There are flys in my house and its pissing me off. But im gonna take a shower and wear my pajama pants snd watch south park. Today will be a good day.

cobalt drum
#

I hope the pain goes away somehow (not unhealthy) for you to get better

cobalt drum
#

Then lay it on a counter or something and it will attract the flys and then there won't be no more flys in the house

cobalt drum
#

Dear diary,
I saw a bird today. It was a pretty bird. It had a beautiful red chest. It sang a song. And sat on a tree. Reminded me of emi.

cobalt drum
#

I think ill look for a turntable today

#

For my em: shinobu_flower shinobu_flower shinobu_flower shinobu_flower shinobu_flower

cobalt drum
cobalt drum
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Dear diary,
I might start using this place as my main journal

#

I bought a turntable and speakers today

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I am moving some stuff around to make room

cobalt drum
#

Its almost set up

#

Being nice got me no where in life

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Im just some fucking bum

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I deserve to die atp

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I probably should just go do it already

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No boden fuck no

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You're not a bum

cobalt drum
#

My speakers are being difficult

cobalt drum
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Its working huddlerawr huddlerawr huddlerawr huddlerawr huddlerawr huddlerawr huddlerawr huddlerawr

cobalt drum
#

Chat is my singing good?

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Im highk on the verge of tears

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I love it

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Badass guitar riff

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I love this song

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@wet basalt i think you would like this one

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The bass on these speakers makes my whole room shake lmfao

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Fucking kickass

opal siren
#

That's so cool

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Jealous ngl 💔

cobalt drum
#

Dear journal,
Im offically 2 months and 2 hours clean

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Oof now im in a really depressive mood

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The urge to block everyone and then off myself >

cobalt drum
#

Tbh

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Some ppl here needa be banned

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Like

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I genuinely wanna kms rn

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Bc of what some fuckass salty mf said abt me twice

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Mods aint do shit

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Like

#

This mf

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Is just singling me out

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And being a prick

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Like my fucking god

tired kettle
cobalt drum
#

Hop off my fuckin dick atp man like wtf

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Ur a fully grown man

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Not you ko

cobalt drum
#

Aint noooo shot i seen someone say drug addiction is “cool”

cobalt drum
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Damn

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My neighbors told me to turn it down

cobalt drum
#

This is a fucking VIBE

jolly umbra
#

The hell kind of person be doing that

cobalt drum
jolly umbra
#

Crazy

cobalt drum
cobalt drum
cobalt drum
cobalt drum
cobalt drum
cobalt drum
opal siren
#

names gng

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imma jump that mf for u

cobalt drum
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Ehhhh

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Dms?

opal siren
#

oui

cobalt drum
#

Maybe ill go to sleep early tonight

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Ngl i feel so fucking useless its crazy

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My brain is doing flips man

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Idek anymore

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I feel so shit

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About everything

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I mean everything

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I wanna sleep but im not tired

cobalt drum
cobalt drum
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I just feel like kinda ghosting everyone.

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Nah yk what

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I came to a conclusion

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I aint chasing nobody no more

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Like

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If you dont fw me idc

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Or if ur just gonna be dry in texting then mf imma just ghost you

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Mf try and make me jealous 😭 im jus gonna lose interest and move on

opal siren
opal siren
#

Or smth 😭

cobalt drum
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Chat i just came to a wild conclusion

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A celcius has 200 mg caffeine

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Monster

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160mg

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CELCIUS ON FUCKING TOP BITCHES

cobalt drum
#

Agreed

jolly umbra
#

Celsius were my go to energy drink

cobalt drum
jolly umbra
#

There was a period where they accidentally put alcohol in it instead

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Remember seeing a headline somewhere

cobalt drum
#

Thats funny

jolly umbra
#

Would’ve loved a chance to get drunk with a clean conscious

cobalt drum
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(I stared at the nutrition facts on both for almost 20 minutes trying to find out where it said)

jolly umbra
#

Know the feeling. They don’t always put the caffeine content in the most obvious place

cobalt drum
cobalt drum
cobalt drum
cobalt drum
cobalt drum
cobalt drum
cobalt drum
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So i dont get banned

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Tbh

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Future > Kendrick

#

Call me pluto cus i wanna get high enough to be there

#

YSL

jolly umbra
#

So real for that

cobalt drum
jolly umbra
#

Idea of being under the influence of whatever sounds appealing ngl

cobalt drum
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Bully in ten days

cobalt drum
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We back

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Boredom

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Buh

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I feel full

cobalt drum
#

You ok?

cobalt drum
#

I dont feel like myself

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And i think whatever episode im in is starting to affect some of the ppl around me

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Maybe your in a mixed episode?

cobalt drum
cobalt drum
#

Thats what a mixed episode is i think

#

Yeah that explains it

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I suppose

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But

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Hey

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Dms

cobalt drum
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Alr im back

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I wanna get grillz so bad

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But im broke asl

cobalt drum
#

Chat this is not very nonchalant of me 🥀

#

Chat we thinkin of relapsing

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That syrup lookin to fine rn

#

Man this is the exact way i felt when i was drinking poor person lean

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(Just cough syrup not codein)

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Which is why i dont say i used to sip lean

#

I say i used to use DXM

cobalt drum
#

I feel like

#

This episode im in

#

Whatever you guys want to call it

#

I think it might end up hurting a few people

#

And

#

I dont think its passing anytime soon

#

Future is a top 5 rapper of all time time

cobalt drum
#

I just called my local barnes and noble

#

There are about 4 kanye albums im able to purchase

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Two in store

#

One in a warehouse

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And one online

#

808s and late registration are in store

#

Donda is in warehouse

#

And ye is online

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I think im going to get ye

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Its one of my favs

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And its only 29.99 with 6.99 shipping

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For vinyl thats a steal

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Donda is 59.99 i think

cobalt drum
#

Listening to my TCD vinyl

cobalt drum
#

I feel like a totally different person

cobalt drum
#

I sleep

cobalt drum
#

Im hyped up for iceman

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And bully

#

Uy scutti got delayed tho

#

Unfortunate

#

WE NEED A FUTURE ALBUM

#

Okay i may js be paranoid

#

But

#

I feel like people are like

#

Distancing themselves from me

cobalt drum
#

Tbh if you aint fw me js lmk

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Block me

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Idc

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¯_(ツ)_/¯

cobalt drum
#

Yooo

#

Im in a depressive state rn

cobalt drum
#

Ive made my decision

jolly umbra
#

About what exactly?

#

Yeah your second guessing what you should and shouldn’t say is a bit concerning

#

You doing alright?

#

Oh alright

#

Well should I call someone else in here or will I be able to help you?

#

Do you have a plan?

#

Can you answer my question first

#

Cause I’m worried you’re gonna do something rash that’ll just cause you more pain

#

ODing on stuff that’s over the counter doesn’t really work

#

So your plan is to OD on opioids?

#

Alright well how come you aren’t sure

#

Just need some space to think?

#

I didn’t realize you were going somewhere

#

Where are you going?

#

I see

opal siren
#

I swear to fucking god

jolly umbra
#

Shit’s painful

opal siren
#

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH EVERYONE

#

OH MY GOD

#

SOMEONE CHECK UP ON THE DUDE????

#

FUCKING HELL

jolly umbra
#

I tried to keep him talking. There’s not a whole lot else I can do

opal siren
#

What country are you in

jolly umbra
#

US

opal siren
#

Do yk if someone knows boden irl

#

Who can check up on him

#

Cuz I called him

#

Ofc he didn't pick up

#

Is it too late

jolly umbra
#

Honestly I’m not entirely sure

opal siren
#

It is too late isn't it

jolly umbra
#

He said he didn’t have a plan but he was also talking very incoherently too

opal siren
#

I've been here before

#

Fuck

#

I just pray and pray and pray someone found him

jolly umbra
opal siren
jolly umbra
#

Best I got is Emi and they live in different countries

opal siren
#

Ik I tried dming her

#

Dms

jolly umbra
#

Yep that’s fine

cobalt drum
#

Oh fuck..

elfin rivet
cobalt drum
#

Nah fuck it i cant do it anymore

#

I js cant

#

Im sorry

#

I was being selfish

#

What do you mean

elfin rivet
#

boden we're all worried about you

cobalt drum
#

My plan was to js

#

Disappear

#

Why..

#

Idk

#

I js felt like it

#

Oh

#

Are you

#

Um

#

Staying

#

Maybe

#

Not sure

#

Oh

#

I js hope you feel better soon..

#

Thanks

elfin rivet
#

just dont fucking make us think youre going to die, mate. if you want to disappear temporarily as a break, thats fine, as long as youre safe and the people who care about you know that youre safe.

#

everyone was worried

cobalt drum
#

Sorry

elfin rivet
#

next time provide explanation, ok?

cobalt drum
#

Sure

elfin rivet
#

everyone cares about you

cobalt drum
#

Mhm

elfin rivet
#

is that an mhm of disbelief, good sir?

shrewd ingot
#

we really do

cobalt drum
elfin rivet
#

eden's right

cobalt drum
#

yeah

shrewd ingot
#

when there is something I learned in my entire life, is that I'm always right

#

so you better listen to them

elfin rivet
#

em was worried most of all

cobalt drum
#

Makes sense

elfin rivet
#

talk to someone here about anything you need to vent about.

#

and most of all, stay safe

cobalt drum
#

Mhm

#

Ill probably talk to logan later

elfin rivet
#

as long as you talk to someone

opal siren
#

Look I'm js glad you're here bro
I won't ask anything
Dms are open if you need anything
Sorry for overreacting

cobalt drum
#

Nah cus

#

Ppl i aint never talked to out here sayin that they love me

#

Like

#

Mf you aint ever know “boden”

#

Y’all only ever talked to pluto bro

opal siren
#

True that

cobalt drum
#

So i aint wanna hear mfs that aint never talked to boden

#

Talm bout sum “i love you bro”

#

“I care”

#

Mf i aint know you 😭

opal siren
#

Not saying I love you but i do give a fuck aight?

#

Call me stupid

cobalt drum
#

Yeah i know you do

#

Bc you knew boden

#

You actually know me

opal siren
#

Fym knew bruh

cobalt drum
#

You aint some random

opal siren
#

You're here and you are gonna be here

opal siren
#

Yeah uh

#

Pretending to care is so ass ngl 😭

cobalt drum
#

Mhm

#

Mfs gotta mind they business

errant hearth
cobalt drum
#

Waiting for physical therapy appt

IMG_4323.jpg
#

Btw i think i said this but last night i wasnt going to kms

#

I was js gonna disappear

cobalt drum
#

Found out im in PT for the next 20 weeks

cobalt drum
errant hearth
cobalt drum
#

God what a shitty night

#

I feel so bad

#

Im sick

#

And still stuck in whatever episode im in

#

I need a haircut

#

My whole body is practically overheating

#

Tbh i feel like I’m js watching

#

My own life

#

I feel like a different person

#

Its so hard to do anything with this shoulder

cobalt drum
cobalt drum
cobalt drum
#

Or symptom of DID

#

Bit idk

#

Im just saying it might be that bit idk

cobalt drum
#

Fuck

#

Ive been like this before

#

And i know that i was normal again

#

Or is this the normal me

#

Idk im sorry your having to go through this

#

Deep down

#

Im scared

#

That last little but of me

#

Of boden

#

Or maybe this is boden

#

The guy i was before this all started

#

Ill call him boden

#

And whatever i am right now

#

Ill call him

#

Pluto ig

#

He seems to like future a lot

#

God this sounds corny asl

#

But deep down

#

Im scared

#

Thats the point

#

Im so sorry i hope it gets better hun (platonic)

#

Concept idea for EP cover

#

The blue is water

#

Red eyes bc hes high

#

His head is filled with water because his mind is flooded

#

With stress

#

With depression

#

With the weight of the world

#

So he gets high

#

All conceptual

#

So far

#

Gah im getting sick

#

—NOT U 2—

#

4 TRACKS

#

Or i could name it saturn

#

Saturns cool

#

Concept idea for saturn

cobalt drum
cobalt drum
#

Its hard to draw

#

I also js kinda suck at drawing

cobalt drum
cobalt drum
#

Like abstract drawling

cobalt drum
#

I mean

#

I have the idea

#

But not the execution

cobalt drum
cobalt drum
#

I appreciate the support

cobalt drum
cobalt drum
cobalt drum
#

It means like

#

Crying with laughter

cobalt drum
# cobalt drum The sobbing?

No what oh? Or oh??? Means, like do you mean it in a rude way (thats what people usually mean when i ask them)

cobalt drum
#

I meant it genuine

#

Like

#

Oh??

#

You really think so?

#

like that

#

Ohh

#

Ok

#

Car

cobalt drum
#

Crazy how ive been scolded twice today

#

For not telling anyone where i was going

#

Crazy

#

Y’all mfs fake

#

Had a mh crisis and y’all yelling at me

#

Real “caring” of y’all

#

Im tired

#

Already thinking of js disappearing for a whike

cobalt drum
#

I dont think people like me anymore

#

Ur loss fuckers

cobalt drum
#

I can hear dem perkys callin 🗣️🔥

#

/lyr

#

Purple looking nice

#

Orr red

#

Red looking fineee

opal siren
opal siren
opal siren
cobalt drum
#

I'm here for you for Pluto and boden ❤️

elfin rivet
#

just because im "some random" it doesnt mean i shouldnt care about the wellbeing of others. i dont care that youre a stranger or that i dont know you, i still care because youre a person, just like me and the other 8 billion people on earth.

shrewd ingot
cobalt drum
#

Jesus christ

#

I feel terrible

#

Im 100 percent getting sick

#

I woke up and saw the light outside and got rly pissed then realized its saturday

#

Well

#

Shit

cobalt drum
cobalt drum
#

Damn life is not looking good

cobalt drum
#

Breakup

#

Im sick

#

Still in this fuckass episode

#

Sometimes it has to get worse for it to get better

cobalt drum
#

Any actions caused by me in this state i will take full responsibility for, but you must understand it is not coming from a place of bate or spite. Im confused and scared deep down.

#

German underground rap

#

Ts is peak

#

Idk what they are saying

#

But

#

Its a banger

cobalt drum
#

Hair before haircut soon

IMG_4334.jpg IMG_4333.jpg
cobalt drum
cobalt drum
cobalt drum
cobalt drum
analog berry
#

Hey Boden, or whoever is here rn, I was reading up and I experience the same thing ngl

#

It does smooth out

#

It’s usually really bad if something traumatic happens/ something really hard or upsetting, or if you’re thinking about something traumatic/upsetting a lot. But then there are periods where it’s just gone, and you almost forget it even happened

#

I don’t know what it is for sure, I’ve never really been able to get proper help for it ngl

#

But it doesn’t last forever

#

Wishing you the best man, we care about you fr 💕

cobalt drum
#

I really appreciate it

#

I suppose the breakup is only gonna worsen it

cobalt drum
#

This is my biggest flex rn

IMG_4346.png
cobalt drum
cobalt drum
#

Album

#

That video is an edit

#

Ohh thats cool

cobalt drum
#

My head hurts man

#

Maybe i should try communicating with this guy

#

This pluto dude

#

Maybe he is the real boden

#

God im scared

#

Ive never been like this

#

Ive felt the way i am rn, with pluto. The same emotions. The same reactions. All that stuff

#

But ive never been this conscious of it

#

Because i was like this

#

This pluto guy was in control

#

And then i got out

#

For a while

#

A few months give or take

#

But then a few weeks ago the mental breakdown

#

He came back

#

And now im scared

#

And confused

#

I dont thinks its DID

#

But then again it could be

#

I read up a bit on it

#

Feeling suppressed emotions

#

Feeling like my body isnt my own