What’s up w you
#BODEN’S not so silly journal anymore
jolly flume
jolly flume
I feel that dw
fast thicket
mm mm
fast thicket
im almost 100% sure she's fine
she tells me a lot
and has never seemed too depressed
but the night before she dipped she said
"She won’t help me
I’m very sad
My head hurts so bad
Gonna go take a shower
Bye bye (insert name here)
I love you"
fast thicket
kinda scary 😔
jolly flume
That’s genuinely scary
fast thicket
with th-
EW A BUG
ok
with that being said
that is how she talks, like she says "bye bye" and stuff consistently
fast thicket
after that she dipped
her family hasnt told me anything either
which is even more worrying
cuz im really close to her family
jolly flume
So you have no clue where she is?
fast thicket
we were friends for 4 years so i dont like that they wont tell me
jolly flume
I try not to
fast thicket
you do a good job of trying 
fast thicket
u like my discord icon?
jolly flume
u like my discord icon?
Wha
fast thicket
also for the record
you dont have to worry about anything happening to me
at least for now
I myself am very stable
just...
traumatized with a lot
fast thicket
this is my life recently
jolly flume
this is my life recently
I can see lol
fast thicket
well ima take a nap or smth
or js sit around
ty for talking to me <3
cya later 👋
jolly flume
cya later 👋
Buh bye
jolly flume
Okay
Please don’t get mad at me
I’m just stating my opinion
I don’t really want any responses unless they will be meaningful
But I think in today’s society
Men are treated far worse than women
That all
Thank you
Also if your just gonna call me mysolgonistic then fuck off alr
Don’t get me wrong
I respect women
A whole hell of a lot
But men get almost none
We do a lot for society and we are treated like shit
We don’t even get any recognition
At all
It’s actually crazy
And yes holy shit I know
“Women where treated worse back in the day”
I know
But men also supported the women’s sufferrage movement
All I’m asking is taht men are treated with respect
Please don’t judge me
cedar lintel
i just woke up but i think most men don’t really cry or express their feelings bc its not “manly” it shouldn’t be like that. men are allowed to cry and have feelings just like women.
i’m sorry i was sleeping
some women despise all men. they shouldn’t but unfortunately they do. i definitely don’t.
jolly flume
i just woke up but i think most men don’t really cry or express their feelings b...
I’m so glad you see it the way I do
cedar lintel
bc men feel like they can’t speak up
you’re welcome
why are you deleting messages 😭
fast thicket
Was it about that opinion?
jolly flume
Mods maybe don’t delete it TJIS time
These images prove my point from above
tame zinc
I don’t really want any responses unless they will be meaningful
can i respond?
i just personally disagree and i think my response is meaningful but i don’t want it to be misconstrued as arguing
jolly flume
https://open.spotify.com/episode/7aba9LhLwaca9ZWJFOqEHD?si=9Mxd_sABSGa4e2b3nvZkI...
If you remember what this song means your goated
jolly flume
https://tenor.com/view/cat-no-nonono-noooo-cat-no-gif-16356106285349646826
Why silly laugh
untold nexus
Okay sorry
jolly flume
Doggo ping me when you finish
cedar lintel
writing a whole book 😭
untold nexus
Just saying something before the discussion actually starts, it's okay as long as you guys aren't arguing or insulting eachother!! If it gets heated maybe move to dms 
I'm sure you guys can discuss kindly and civilly lol I trust you guys but just wanted to say it
tame zinc
my message got automodded..
tame zinc
yeah i will!! it’s okay
jolly flume
You probably worked rly hard
jolly flume
Alright!
tame zinc
sorry if this isn’t allowed to be sent
also i promise i’m not trying to argue 😭😭 sorry if it sounds like i get heated at times during my thingy
jolly flume
sorry if this isn’t allowed to be sent
Very valid argument
Your entitled to it
But many men are also sexually assaulted
Many men are raped and murdered
Millions
We are heavily discriminated by women as weak or pathetic when we try to express our feelings
fast thicket
I think men are… what’s the words? Maybe something like “recognized less”
tame zinc
yes, and that’s completely not okay, and i 100% recognize that happens
but what i am saying is that the number between men and women sa victims especially is extremely different
tame zinc
I think men are… what’s the words? Maybe something like “recognized less”
in some contexts i agree with this
but most of the time men are recognized more than women
fast thicket
but most of the time men are recognized more than women
I mainly mean in the things men contribute
jolly flume
Men are extremely underprettiated in modern society
fast thicket
Something like 89% of cops are men and so on and so forth
jolly flume
Yes
fast thicket
And I don’t think people recognize that
jolly flume
Yes
Also men are perceived as evil by many women
Which is completely unfair and uncalled for
fast thicket
Also men are perceived as evil by many women
Bro I got called and I quote
jolly flume
Many men are harassed daily by multiple women (i am TJIS way)
fast thicket
“A filthy perverted b*tch” because I existed 🙏
jolly flume
So much so that they go into depression and end up dying
tame zinc
i was gonna add this in my message but i found it unnecessary to the main topic, but i’ll say it now, even if it’s irrelevant
men are the ones who perpetuate the cycle that they hate
fathers will complain about how they can’t express their feelings and then go and teach their son/s that they shouldn’t express theirs
and it becomes generational
jolly flume
Because they are called weak
Ooh see that’s incorrect in some ways
Correct in some cases
But mostly incorrect
Almost any time men open up
They are perceived as weak by society
fast thicket
I open up to my step dad 😮
jolly flume
And are mocked and laughed at
jolly flume
Not in all cases
jolly flume
Many cases mothers can say the same thing
Many men don’t have fathers and they moms teach them this
tame zinc
mothers are also at fault for perpetuating it in their sons, yes
but i think in most cases it’s the father
fast thicket
I’m gonna dip I don’t belong in this conversation.
jolly flume
And you work 14 hours a day
Just to be called a worthless peice of shit
And that you have no place in society
tame zinc
Imagine being perceived as the scum of the earth
yes, i understand this, but there’s also my side:
imagine being perceived as merely an inferior sex toy
because you have a womb
jolly flume
Have you seen the media recently
Fair point
But same goes for men
You have to see it both ways
tame zinc
i am seeing it both ways
jolly flume
Women aren’t the only victims in America
tame zinc
i was just pointing out that women go through a similar thing
tame zinc
Women aren’t the only victims in America
yes i’m aware
men get treated like shit as well
but that wasn’t the topic
it was who gets treated worse
so that’s just my opinion
tame zinc
yasssss
jolly flume
first civil discussion in huddle ever
Bro fr
tame zinc
first civil discussion in huddle ever
😭😭😭
tame zinc
frrrr
untold nexus
HAHAHAHA
jolly flume
And to actually understand eachither
tame zinc
i feel like i’m incompetent and therefore incapable of having a debate
or even just a discussion
so i often come across as incredibly self-righteous but it’s just because the things i discuss and debate are things i’m actually passionate about
i don’t do anything like this for things i’m not passionate about
jolly flume
i don’t do anything like this for things i’m not passionate about
Sameee
Made a Google form
Like laz
jolly flume
Shi how
cedar lintel
😭🫵🏼
jolly flume
Hell yeah
Ngl I miss when my best friend in this server talked in chat
(I’m not gonna say they name or gender bc I don’t want them to feel bad)
jolly flume
Time for depression
Hell yeah (not rly)
Man
I’m fucking Lonley
I can’t keep a girl for more than a one night stand
That’s fucking sad
I sometimes feel that live aint for me
And relationships for that matter
All my friends having fun
Just feel like
I’m lying to them
I pretend I’m happy
But I’m terrible
I can’t keep pretending man
Thursday
Thursday night
Or Friday
Will be good
They will be great
I can feel it
I’ll have enough meds
I can’t anymore
I’m so tired of pretending
Man
jolly flume
Took a piss last night and it was like neon green bruh
untold nexus
Took a piss last night and it was like neon green bruh
❓ ❓
That's not healthy you should see a doctor
Green???
jolly flume
Dislocated my bad shoulder today lol
Dw I’m okay
It didn’t hurt
I thought I was cooked
But I went to pick up a shoe and it popped back in
Hell yeah
jolly flume
Had to blur that out Lmaoo
jolly flume
I’m struggling
Physically
Mentally
Financially
God
I fucking hate this
Thinking that killing myself is the only way out atp
jolly flume
Bro
I used to live talking about the gym
Now it makes me sad asf
Cus I can’t with my injury
jolly flume
Last night was crazy bruh
jolly flume
“NEW SLAVES” 🗣️🔥
Man
Three seconds ago I was jamming out
Not I wanna kms
Genuinely sitting here wishing I was dead
Lonely
I should listen to that song
But imma listen to Radiohead
For a little
I can’t deal w this shit no more dawg
Istg tonight is the fucking night
I try to promote mens mental health month and LGBTQ members tell me to shut up and call me homophobic
I was literally doing my own damn thing
Like Jesus Christ
We share a month
Get used to seeing mens mental health promotions
It’s not just your month
It’s ours too
We get to celebrate too
jolly flume
I genuinely feel like I’m losing my mind
I’m fucking going insane
Like I got some alter ego
It’s genuinely scaring me
jolly flume
Back to being fucking alone
I hate this
Why am I viewed as an evil person when I mention that I’m an addict
I feel like I’m actually loosing my mind
I’m falling into genuine insanity
Like I’m gonna crack
And then bad shit is gonna happen
Like a fucking alter ego
jolly flume
Is anyone Able to talk
Meh
Why cared abt me anyway lol
Living was hell
It was nice knowing you guys
@untold nexus @tame zinc
I dunno who else to ping rn
Just hoping y’all make it on time
untold nexus
HIII
untold nexus
Is anyone Able to talk
I can talk
jolly flume
I can talk
hey
untold nexus
What's going on?
jolly flume
shit idk
I wanna end it bro
Just pop all my pills and die
My will is so broken
Shit even Spotify shuffle gets it https://open.spotify.com/episode/7aba9LhLwaca9ZWJFOqEHD?si=vhJq8K0VSPGS2vcf9VYJRA&context=spotify%3Aalbum%3A7gsWAHLeT0w7es6FofOXk1
untold nexus
My will is so broken
Can I ask what's making you feel like this?
jolly flume
Can I ask what's making you feel like this?
I don’t know
I’ve felt this way for a long time
Addiction
That prolly part of it
Lack of being able to open up
Bottling up my emotions
And prolly my parents splitting
And the shit I do and see
God
No wonder I deserve this
untold nexus
I dont think you deserve this
untold nexus
It's okay to not know yet
But killing yourself is a permanent solution to temporary problems, no matter how permanent they feel right now
I know what you're going through is really hard and you're really struggling, but things WILL get better
And by get better I don't mean that one day you'll wake up and just be fine
jolly flume
But killing yourself is a permanent solution to temporary problems, no matter ho...
Person who said that killed themselves
untold nexus
There will never be a day where you just wake up and everything is better. Healing takes time, patience, and a lot of work. You're really strong Boden and I know you can put in the work
Are you seeing a therapist or is that an option you have? I think you should bring this up to a professional
jolly flume
There will never be a day where you just wake up and everything is better. Heali...
I used to be
untold nexus
You should consider seeing another one
toxic python
Person who said that killed themselves
that doesn't mean it's not true
jolly flume
Are you seeing a therapist or is that an option you have? I think you should bri...
I am seeing one
toxic python
sometimes people will go against their own word but that doesn't mean what they said is wrong
jolly flume
sometimes people will go against their own word but that doesn't mean what they ...
Maybe
But they had a will in order to say that
I don’t fucking have one
At all
I have no motivation to do anything
toxic python
well you wouldn't know if they did or not
jolly flume
well you wouldn't know if they did or not
You gotta have some sort of will in order to say that
toxic python
true but still
what do you think the aftrlife would be like
are you not one bit scared of it
jolly flume
Better than this
jolly flume
are you not one bit scared of it
No
toxic python
what do you picture it as then
jolly flume
what do you picture it as then
Maybe hell
Maybe a black abyss
Either is better than this
toxic python
so you think hell or just a bad looking afterlife is inevitable for everyone then?
even the good people
jolly flume
so you think hell or just a bad looking afterlife is inevitable for everyone the...
No heaven exists
Not for me though
toxic python
thats fair well i wont try to change your belief on that
but people do care about you
whether its in real life or just in this server
there are people who are going out of their way just to talk to you
jolly flume
I see that.
It’s only ppl in this server
But given it’s discord
So they could move on like that
toxic python
some might even feel guilty for not trying to stop you
toxic python
But they could move on
moving on from someone's death is more than dust you can wipe off your shoulder
jolly flume
moving on from someone's death is more than dust you can wipe off your shoulder
Not on discord
Well
I imagine
I don’t serve much of a purpose in this server
I’m kinda just here
toxic python
even if you're just venting to someone or with people around you're still making a bond with them
toxic python
I don’t serve much of a purpose in this server
you have just as much purpose as me and everyone else who's writing journals on the server
toxic python
it's just important to know you weren't born just to be miserable for the rest of however long you could live
even if you haven't found it, you do have a purpose
and things you're good and bad at
jolly flume
But I don’t have any will bro
I serve no purpose
In life
Or online
It’s so hard to get out of bed
When you know your worthless
It’s so hard to one you eyes
toxic python
you don't have a purpose until you set yourself goals and find out who you are
jolly flume
When you know your worthless
toxic python
you've been through so much i could never fathom but you need to show that
jolly flume
you don't have a purpose until you set yourself goals and find out who you are
How do I do that when I can hardly get out of bed in the morning
toxic python
just don't push yourself
there's always gonna be tomorrow
you'll die before our planet but that doesn't mean you should soon
jolly flume
there's always gonna be tomorrow
I don’t want a tomorrow
I don’t want to feel this way
And I can’t take it
Your probably poking a dead horse
toxic python
you should try and do something that'll make you feel more accomplished than yesterday
every day even if it's just a small step ahead
toxic python
I don’t want to feel this way
as much as it doesn't sound like a therapist is helping you still should make the most of that too
but as long as you can SEE progress
as long as you can look behind into yesterday and say you did something better than yesterday that's all that matters
even if you think you're behind everyone you're not
there's no time limit because you're always going at your own pace
toxic python
just know you're wanted and cared for
every time you think you should just end it know that there's people willing to talk and comfort you
but yeah go get some sleep
jolly flume
Thanks man
jolly flume
Haha
Holy shit
Nevermind
I’m deadass gonna end it all
Lmaoo
Why am I like this
I don’t fucking know lol
Holy fuck.
This is bad
I feel so shit
I hate it when people around me are hurting
It makes me feel shitty
I just want everyone around me to be happy
That’s my only goal
And somehow I fuck uo taht too
@tame zinc please call me if you need anything. I’m gonna try to sleep but my phone ringing should wake me up. I really don’t want anything to happen to you
jolly flume
i ended up falling asleep, sorry to worry you
I figured you fell asleep
Glad your okay
We are so back
jolly flume
What is up w Kanye today…
jolly flume
Feel like some of my friends here don’t like me no more
Idk
Maybe I’m just making shit up
toxic python
me too me too ✊
jolly flume
Thanks guysssss
I just mean like some of my older friends here
They just seem like they ain’t clicking w my no more
Kanye comeback?
Perchance?
That would be awesome
I have hope
2025 Kanye summer
Trust
I invited a few people
jolly flume
jolly flume
Man
I wanna kms
Like tonight
Man
Just
Idek what to say no more
Like legit
Have no clue wwhat to say
toxic python
A lot of ppl put pride over mens mental health
dont listen to em then
let them support their own thing while you find your people
jolly flume
https://youtube.com/shorts/97z_e39hKMQ?si=3r5mqYriVqRwWZUy
Thank you bro
I always appreciate mens mental health vids
native schooner
Very important
I dont get why its just a month and not just a generally cared about thing
jolly flume
I dont get why its just a month and not just a generally cared about thing
True…
I just got news that broke my heart
How am I supposed to live like this
All I feel is terrible
Horrible
I fucking hate it
I feel that true love will never fucking find me
Or just that I don’t deserve good shit to happen to me
I fucking hate it
I hate it
I hate it
I hate it
I hate it
I hate
Hate
Hate
Hate
Hate
Hate
Hate
Hate
Hate
Hate
Hate
Hate
It
toxic python
what happened man
cedar lintel
ya what happened man
jolly flume
But for his sake I’m not telling anyone
@cedar lintel
cedar lintel
okay we're here for you boden 
toxic python
🎀
jolly flume
Yeezus season
Wish I knew more ppl who knew Kanye music
So I could talk Kanye music
Cus like
My music taste
“I just talked to Jesus, he said “what up Yeezus?””
cedar lintel
Wish I knew more ppl who knew Kanye music
i listen to a few of his songs thats ab it
jolly flume
not suicidal anything but js saying i love u man
Shii ily too bro /p
honest minnow
Wish I knew more ppl who knew Kanye music
i like him he's my #3 artist on spotify
honest minnow
yeahhhh i like his older stuff, not so much past like 2018
all falls down or good morning is my favorite by him
jolly flume
deep topaz
Do you has the template? :3
jolly flume
Do you has the template? :3
deep topaz
Thankies:3
jolly flume
My data is having a fucking sesiure
jolly flume
I think Yeezus might be my fav Kanye album now
🫣🫣
I love the freaky music
Party next door
😳😳
Them lyrics
Could be considered just 🌽
Like straight up
Meek mill song
FREAKY AS FUCK BRO
🙈🙈🙈
Kicking my feet n shiii
Being single and listening to freaky songs stings bruh
Like damn
I can’t say ts to my girl
Cus I ain’t got one
But I’m more of a cuddle under a blanket and watch movies
Sex is more of a privilege
Sex really isn’t all that
So in a relationship I don’t really need sex like every time
I just wanna spend time with them for who they are
Not for their body
Bro
I’m so fucking lonely
It’s fucking sad lol
jolly flume
IM HERE FOR YOUUUUUUU
I’m playin death stranding
cedar lintel
huh
robust drum
These lyrics are not that kosher
Lyrics that aren't kosher are the best lyrics imo
🙃
jolly flume
Lyrics that aren't kosher are the best lyrics imo
This song is so disgusting it’s perfect
robust drum
I need DISGUSTING and UNHOLY music in my life
jolly flume
I need ***DISGUSTING*** and ***UNHOLY*** music in my life
I can give you the song in dms
robust drum
As many as you want lmfaooo
jolly flume
As many as you want lmfaooo
I got you
You know it’s good when you gotta censor full lines
jolly flume
Wdym your so innocent
robust drum
Don't lie to me 😭
jolly flume
🤷
😳
BRO
🥴🥴🥴
How this music got me feeling rn
Logan might know this song… 🔥
I’m so innocent and cute :33
jolly flume
Bad news
jolly flume
Started cutting myself so that’s pretty cool
cedar lintel
you need to put that away
jolly flume
||I just fucking cut myself again, why can’t I stop I don’t know. It stings so good. Deep and slow cuts, almost like a form of art. Gentle but firm, steady hands.||
jolly flume
Welp
Today has been shit
Got banned
And now ppl think I faked it when when I attempted today
And I think one of my best friends on discord thinks that
And I think they don’t like me anymore
And see me in a different light
And
I don’t know what’s to do
I’m scared
And confused
And alone
toxic python
banned ??
jolly flume
I cut myself a lot today
I’m so guilty
I don’t wanna tell some ppl because one the would get triggered and two would be extremely disappointed
And I’m already not on good terms with them.
😖😖😖😖
I wish I could wake up and redo this day
jolly flume
Just took the bandage off my wrist
I put it on yesterday after all the shit went down
Because I cut the shit outta my wrists
Like
Butchered them
It was bad
And it was bleeding a lot
And I had work
So I put a bandage on it
But
I didn’t cut myself today
Well actually I did at work
But it wasn’t on purpose
But I almost had a panic attack thinking about yesterday
“I lost all my friends counting bands in a gently coupe. Diamonds on me doing handstands watchy on my tooth.” 😔❤️🩹
Actually a banger song
toxic python
ohh i didnt realise u knew ki outside the server
jolly flume
jolly flume
I feel so damn neglected for everything I do
Online and irl
I get zero respect
I get treated like a damn toddler when I tell people my age
And I fucking hate it
Makes me regret even trusting them enough to tell them
And man
I think I’m never gonna make it with my music
I’m really scared
jolly flume
im sowwy i don’t think you’re a baby
Why you sayin it like yhat gang
cedar lintel
whaaa
cedar lintel
:(
jolly flume
Tf?
cedar lintel
i said i was sorry
jolly flume
i said i was sorry
Oh shi
cedar lintel
i’ll stop talking.
jolly flume
i’ll stop talking.
Nah don’t do that
I fucking hate everything about myself
I can’t live like this
I don’t want to do this anymore
I’m afraid to even state my feelings because I feel like people would say I’m faking it
I hate my face
I hate my body
I hate my age
I hate how I talk
I hate how I think
I hate how I eat
I hate how I feel
I hate that I can’t enjoy anything in life
And I hate how I’m stuck uo on some dumb fantasy of making music yhat wilk never fucking come true
I’m so done
With everything man
I can’t do this
I
Can’t
jolly flume
Man
Fuck this
I just can’t make myself believe that people don’t just say things
To try to make me feel better
Because I watched it
I watched multiple people who tried to talk me out of it immediately move on
Within like 6 seconds I shit you not
When I attempted
Not about what just happened
So it’s hard to believe that people don’t just say things to make you feel better in the moment
onyx vortex
Yo homie, maybe instead of doubting people try not caring about it, why's it matter if people in a random ass discord care and if they didn't why would they bother to lie about it? It's the internet I could and will be honest with no consequences.
jolly flume
Yo homie, maybe instead of doubting people try not caring about it, why's it mat...
Idk
It’s just the way I work ig
onyx vortex
I get it brother
jolly flume
I have had this stigma in my mind that everyone is out to get me
For a while
And after a lot of shit happened with who I thought where my friends on discord it’s hard for me to trust people
onyx vortex
But try using a bit of logic w it my man
Why would people put energy into someone who doesn't affect them
jolly flume
And my therapist ghosting me after opening uo to him
I’ve got a lot of trust issues I suppose
onyx vortex
That's fair
jolly flume
Why would people put energy into someone who doesn't affect them
I hate when people do try to put in effort for me
onyx vortex
But put that into consideration
jolly flume
I feel they are wasting their time and energy
onyx vortex
I feel they are wasting their time and energy
I ain't wasting anything my talking to you
By*
jolly flume
I ain't wasting anything my talking to you
You most likely are
onyx vortex
You seem like an alright guy and even if you don't believe me the fact you recognize you've done bad shit is a sign you're an aight dude
onyx vortex
You most likely are
If I was I wouldn't be here dawg, I'd be sleeping rn
jolly flume
If I was I wouldn't be here dawg, I'd be sleeping rn
But I see myself as a worthless peice of shit
So when people put effort into me I feel they are wasting time
jolly flume
You could think 1+1=4, doesn't make it true or accurate
Man
jolly flume
The collage dropout- 8.5/10. Brought souls beats back to hip hop
Late registration-7/10 pretty mid but had it’s shining moments
Graduation- 10/10. amazing production and songs. Very upbeat and soulful
808s and heartbreak-10/10. sad and happy at the same time. Literally changed melodic rap
Mbdtf-10/10 deep meaning behind it. Genuine masterpiece.
Watch the throne- 7.5/10 mid but good bits
Yeezus-10/10 literally changed alternate rap as a whole genre
TLOP-9/10 amazing production and songs. And contains Kanye best song
ye-9.5/10. absolutely amazing. Contains deep meaning with amazing production. Sadly it was way to short
KSG-9/10 to short but makes up for it in quality
Jik-8/10 very religiously based but absolutely amazing bangers
Donda/Donda deluxe-10/10 amazing track list and length with amazing features
Vultures 1-9/10 extremely overhated. It’s so good. Amazing production and songs are great and energy filled.
Vultures 2- 6/10 extremely mid but the highs are very high.
Donda 2-8/10 super overhated. Production could use work but most songs are great.
BULLY (so far)- 7/10 the first three songs are alright. DAMN is the best, batb is okay and preacher man is pretty bad.
And that’s it so far
fast thicket
https://open.spotify.com/episode/7aba9LhLwaca9ZWJFOqEHD?si=r6KDc3MtSs-Q75L9u3Q1C...
NO 😭
jolly flume
I made a mistake
And now chat is kinda dragging it
And bringing it up
Not in ways that incriminate me
But still
And I don’t wanna tell them to drop it because I don’t wanna be “that guy”
And now I just feel
Bleh
Rly bleh
I got that feeling in my chest
And man
It’s not good
cedar lintel
And bringing it up
?
cedar lintel
😭😭
jolly flume
I dunno I think I’m making it worse in my head
cedar lintel
i understand but i’m not comfy with people talking behind my back yk?
jolly flume
I prolly shouldnt have
jolly flume
i understand but i’m not comfy with people talking behind my back yk?
Yeah I get it
cedar lintel
thank you im here for you
cedar lintel
feel better
jolly flume
feel better
I’ll try
jolly flume
I feel like such shit right now
So bad
I can’t think straight
God I feel so terrible
jolly flume
They talking about drugs in the main chat
Fuck this
Drugs are terrible
Even if it’s an escape
Drugs ruined my life
Ruined it
I will never be the same
And you guys are debating if they are “good” for an escape?
Drugs are terrible
And I will forever advocate against them
No matter what
From weed to fent
I will always advocate against drugs
Because they ruined my life
I will never be the same
People will never look at me the same
Ever again
It’s frankly stupid
red hollow
People will never look at me the same
If it means anything I don't think of you any differently
jolly flume
If it means anything I don't think of you any differently
I don’t want this to sound rude but maybe that’s because YOUVE only known me “post” drugs
jolly flume
jolly flume
I make shit worse
I should literally go into a fucking hole and die
This place would be better without me
I fucking hate myself
I’m so fucking stupid
I wish I was aborted as a baby
I wanna fucking cry
I’m such a fuck up
@cedar lintel I’m so sorry
I hate everything
Why don’t I think
jolly flume
I hate it all
I can’t
Why can’t I just be a normal person and stfu
I’m such a fuck up
I wanna fucking kill myself
Matter of fact
I should do it tonight
I can’t do anything right
I wanna end it so badly man
I want it all to be over
jolly flume
I’m so done
jolly flume
I guess I’m the bad guy
I guess people can’t tell that I’m suffering in my head for what I said
I would say sorry a billion times if it meant I could fix everything
I really would
jolly flume
Everyone is asleep and I’m alone 🙃
I wanna cry
I also wanna do other things
Really really bad things
jolly flume
When shit so bad you just sit there like this
I wanna die bro
I’m alone
Getting ignored
jolly flume
I hurt someone today
A friend
A good one
Who I won’t name
Because I respect their privacy and requests
But yeah
I said some stupid shit and now feel like I’ll never be able to talk to them again
But I get it
I made a mistake
I should grow as a person
Even if it means I lose a friend
Which sucks
But I fucked up
I can’t change the past
I hope the best for them as always I have no grudge
Anyways
Yep that’s it
jolly flume
Hey everyone,
I wanted to let you all know that I’ll be stepping back from the server for a while. I feel that there’s been a bit too much tension surrounding me lately, and I think it’s best for everyone — including myself — if I take a break.
I’d like to focus more of my time and energy on my music project right now. That’s really where my head and heart are at the moment.
I’ll still check in from time to time and keep up with the chat, but I won’t be active outside of posting in my journal.
Thanks for understanding. I appreciate everyone here, and I wish you all the best.
I would like to add that I am not holding any hard feelings against anyone. I just need some time to myself at the moment and focus on my work. Thank you all for understanding
I will remain active in my journal and on my socials
My DMs will remain open to anyone at any time and you can ping me as well
Reply’s are still welcome in my journal
I won’t be gone to long guys dw
jolly flume
Lalalala
I’m nice at ping pong
Tweaking tweaking off that 2cb huh
Needa work on cover art
jolly flume
I made some Mac and cheese
jolly flume
Idk how I’m gonna do any of this
It’s all so damn complicated
I wanna just lay down and give up
Tryna vent and just getting ignored lmaoooo
In general chat
Kinda wild fr
cedar lintel
Tryna vent and just getting ignored lmaoooo
we can talk here if you want
jolly flume
we can talk here if you want
Thanks but idk how much you’ll be able to help with my specific problem
I mean that as respectfully as worldly possible
cedar lintel
i can try
cedar lintel
why?
jolly flume
It’s so hard to record and it’s so complicated
cedar lintel
can you take some time to think about it?
jolly flume
And I feel that it would be way easier to just throw it away and give up
cedar lintel
bc once its gone its gone right?
jolly flume
Trying to balance music with my actual life is hard as well
It takes a lot outta me
And frankly I don’t even think that the beats I made for the tracks are good
jolly flume
I’m out of school rn and work is short and only 4 days a week
And music keeps me busy and lets me express my passion
I just
It’s so hard
I don’t think people actually understand how hard it is to make music
Damn
Alone again
Alr
cedar lintel
sorry hi
cedar lintel
I don’t think people actually understand how hard it is to make music
yea definitely harder than it looks
jolly flume
yea definitely harder than it looks
Even production is extremely difficult
And that’s maybe the easiest part
cedar lintel
if you enjoy making music then keep making music
jolly flume
I do enjoy it
cedar lintel
then keep doing what you’re doing
