dogboy domain

[frosty shore]

i don’t know what i’ll talk about here but probable trigger warnings include :: eating disorder, self harm, all types of abuse, uhh idk what else.. i’ll try to edit this message if anything else comes up.

feel free to react to my messages and/or talk in my journal if you have something to say in response to any of my messages !! however if it’s something hateful please keep it to yourself. thank you

idk what to talk about right now. i jus thought this would be helpful when i don’t want to burden anyone directly with my issues.

i guess i can talk about my hypersexuality problem

since it was atopic earlier

it’s definitely gotten somewhat better since i was 8-9

but it still jmpacts me

i get distressing thoughts in the middle of casual conversation

i wish it wasn’t generally such a shamed issue by everuone

maybe i’d be more comfortable talking about it to my rherapist

side note i sometimes wish i was normal and like evwryone else , but then i remember if i was normal and liek everyone else i wouldn’t be getting as much attention and pity as i do right nwo, isn’t that horrible of me

i really like when people pity me. it makes me feel small, fragile and i enjoy it because most people tend to protect things they perceive as weaker than them
all i want is to be protected

i want to be coddled

i’m in quite a good mood right now though so i don’t want to bring it down

by talking about negative things

prom is coming up. in less than a week now

i’m afraid people might comment on my scars, i’ll try to keep my sleeves down the whole time but i can’t really do much about my leg scars

meh whatever

anyway

bye this song is so good

bed of roses by msi

so kagehara..

i love you kagehara 🤎🤎🤎

[frosty shore]

i can’t wait for the mcr concert honestly

i see ptv next month and i’m excited for that too but

mcr is literally one of the reasons i am still alive after everything i’ve been through

it’s surreal that i even got this chance

/ opportunity

and i was able to take it

super surreal

[frosty shore]

i hate nepo babies, why was i born into extreme poverty, why couldn’t i have been a nepo baby😔

[frosty shore]

finished the episode of drv3 the game grumps released today, i’m so excited for them to get further

also i made a straw page

i have to tweak it a little on pc but it looks good so far i think

idk if i’m comfortable sending it here though, nor if i’m allowed to, it has some content that can be disturbing to some

but well, the beginning of the address is 269, anyone can go to it if they wish but just be warned about the danganronpa fanart choices, lol

[frosty shore]

having a depended person is so fucking horrible yet so fucking gratifying at the same time

i depend on you for everything and how i feel completely and utterly relies upon how you act and how you feel too

it seems like i never catch a break from trying to please you all the time despite rationally knowing that doing something interpersonally wrong on occasion will not ruin our relationship completely

i have breakdowns almost every night just simply because you don’t text back in that timeframe window i have set in my mind for how long you can not text back (without telling me you’re busy) before i start spiraling thinking that you don’t like me anymore and that you think i’m a complete burden

and yet

i can’t live without you. our relationship is extremely gratifying and i know we are boyfriends so it should be anyways, but i feel like anyone else would grow resentment towards you if they were in my place. not that you do anything wrong, just out of guilt for how much i do wrong. and how much i make you feel bad, how much i subconsciously manipulate you. i feel like anyone else would want to leave. would want to give you freedom from me. because i am a huge burden. i am a horrible person. i am a terrible manipulator, and i feel incredibly guilty about all these things.

but, i can’t live without you. i feel like i’m putting you through so much pain everyday and everynight and i feel so much guilt and yet i can’t live without you. i’m so overly attached, so obsessed. and i feel like that’s the very reason i (unintentionally) hurt you.

i’m a huge burden to everyone who ever gets or ever got close to me and i wish i could change that but i can’t

my brain is so stubborn, to have gone through 10 years of therapy and still hasn’t even a little bit gotten over 4 years of abuse

maybe 5, not sure on the exact timeframe honestly

but what does that matter

[frosty shore]

i suppose i haven’t been honest with any of my therapists until this one. and i suppose none of my past therapists really cared about my trauma, they kinda just wanted to fix my “current problems” but how can you fix my current problems when past problems are the root cause

so many people have told me that i’m the kindest person they’ve ever met, but if they got closer to me, if they became my depended person, they’d know how much that isn’t true

this is why i try to keep everyone else besides my depended person at a distance, i don’t want to burden them with everything i’ve been through. i tend to overshare a lot in the beginning of platonic relationships which either makes someone completely interested in me or completely scared of getting involved with me

i don’t accept new friends because i’m twrrified of becoming a burden to them as well

that’s why i’m only comfortable talking to not-close people in servers and not dms

don’t want them to become close and have to suffer

[frosty shore]

idk if i could elaborate about how i acted when i was 15-16 in lounge so i’ll elaborate here i think

basically

i very hardcore larped as an arrogant piece of shit

not the worst part of jt, either

i pretended to be a cannibal and necrophile ??????… fhank god i protected myself by saying o only enjoy these in fiction but i was still a weird fucking freak for it

i just wanted to fit in with my weird fucking freak friends

who. seriously liked realistic fiction involving cannibalism and necrophilia.

some of them even liked the concept of cannibalism in real life

LIKE !

i can’t bro

i look back and cringe so hard

glad i’m not friends with them anymore

some of them weren’t like that at all tho and i’m still friends with them to this day

but i met them way before i met the freaks

we were edgy as fuck

why were we like this

i guess all of us who acted that way were severely traumatized but like personally i don’t think that should be an excuse

maybe a reason but not an excuse

anyways

my boyfriend is back from the movies

i should be happy but i don’t really feel anything, i feel guilty

we haven’t talked much all day

and despite knowing it’s because he’s been busy celebrating an early easter

i can’t help but feel?? idk

like a burden

aaaauhuhshsjhfjddfhjddj

knowing that i’m probably gonna have a breakdown soon and burden my boyfriend with it

is so crushing

i hate being a burden

[frosty shore]

being a burden has been my entjre life yet i’m so terrified of it

i should be used to it

[frosty shore]

trying to distract myself

i made my boyfriend ulset

i think

why am i such a horrible person

i accidentally made him feel sorry we didn’t talk much today

i feel horrible about myself

[frosty shore]

today was okay

easter dinner

[frosty shore]

i find it interesting how when i told all my past therapists the reason i self harm, they were confused

sure it’s an emotional outlet but, it’s also because i think my scars make me pretty

and more scars = more pretty

(on me , at least)

i’ve been self harming for almost 12 years now and had probably just as many therapists and none of them knew wtf i was talking about when i told them that

why do i overreact about everything on earth

https://open.spotify.com/track/0KaI2076xZVZ8WJ9ioL91d?

[frosty shore]

[frosty shore]

i feel sick today

i’ve only eaten two snacks so far today and it’s 2pm

scared of eating more and getting sicker

[frosty shore]

cw gross bathroom stuff ||i’ve had severe diarrhea 30+ times today, god help me||

[frosty shore]

psych2go moment

[frosty shore]

characters i relate to chart

https://tenor.com/view/abigail-hobbs-nbc-hannibal-basilnoodle-gif-754735911497307061

she’s so me

[frosty shore]

i am currently super enjoying kagehara

might dabble in reading a fanfic

might indulge

[frosty shore]

i forgot how short the fic i was already on is.

IT WAS GWTTING GOOD TOO RAHHHHH

i hope it continue

s

[frosty shore]

i’m in extreme pain

i hope whtever thinw is doesn’t confinue to friday

[frosty shore]

a

i updated one of my rentrys

cw blood, it’s fake though https://rentry.co/maceration

[frosty shore]

aaaaaaaaa

sromach pain

[frosty shore]

dude… fuck, yes.

such a pretty shirt and i was worried it wouldn’t fit me but it does hehe

[frosty shore]

i’m so hungry

i’ve only eaten two probiotic gummies today

and drank two probiotic yakults

because i’m scared of making my stomach bug worse

oh well, i hope this at least makes me skinny

[frosty shore]

trying to remake my main rentry and it’s uhh not working out well,,

too many empty spaces

i don’t even know , (cw fake blood again)

[frosty shore]

augh

^ same cw

[frosty shore]

something is wrong aaaah

[frosty shore]

dude i’ve been working on this for so long and it doesn’t look good to me no matter what

am i a perfectionist or what

what’s happening

[frosty shore]

dude..

DUDE.

my

boyfriend’s stepbrother who is also my ex friend who makes me really fuckign uncomfortable

IS GOING TOTHE SAME PROM AS US

I’M GONNA FICKING KMSSSSSS

[frosty shore]

hi we’re driving back from ohio now

prom was fun

ohio was fun

hehe..

[frosty shore]

i miss my boyfriend and it’s makinf me crash out

[frosty shore]

i had another sleep paralysis episode

i’m gonna cry

[frosty shore]

i had two last night

what is wrong with me

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1319352754870681641/1363291204812406937/image0.gif

[frosty shore]

i kinda wish people pitied me more

that’s a horrible thing to say

but i like it

ughhh

[frosty shore]

wtf

i was saving it for after prom for a while so i didn’t have fresh scars 😭

[frosty shore]

.. i brought it up to my boyfriend and made him upset

why do i do this

i swear to god every action i take is just me looking for attention

i hate myself

i hate myself so much

i wish i wasn’t here so i didn’t have to make everyone around me suffer all the time

everything i do is subconscious manipulation

i wish i wasn’t like this

i’m a horrible fucking person

[frosty shore]

this happened to me once

never forget

[frosty shore]

me when during a serious conversation with my boyfriend i made an unintentional near-rhyme that i might incorporate into my third song

[frosty shore]

MY GAHHH

me for realz

[frosty shore]

cool

silly test! i have no trauma!!!! heh.. fooled them again

[frosty shore]

banana bread chai latte :3

[frosty shore]

actually going insane. i have had such a bad headache for 5 hours now. but i still have had to blast music in my headphones in the car for nearly all of those 5 hours because otherwise my misophonia would make me have a meltdown with how much noise my mom and sister are making in the car. but i can still hear them through nearly max volume. i’m going fucking insane i started crying in the car and nobody noticed because they’re being too fucking loud!

[frosty shore]

i’m home and i feel better now

[frosty shore]

nevermind

i feel like a burden and an annoyance to my biufeijf

phemygod

ehy am i lkke this

[frosty shore]

they’re both me

[frosty shore]

OMG MUU AND CSH

this is turning into more of a “things i like” channel than a journal atp 😭

[frosty shore]

my sister got me an iced chai latte 🔥🔥

[frosty shore]

i love my boyfriend

i love my boyfriend

i love my boyfriend

i love my boyfriend

https://tenor.com/view/fire-writing-writing-fire-his-writing-is-fire-is-this-fire-hold-up-gif-15400153686296022809

his writing is this fire?????

oh my goodness gracious

i need him near me rn

i need to kiss him silly

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1319352754870681641/1362256966587646222/image0.gif

[frosty shore]

actual peak

[frosty shore]

aah i want to relapse

why does this always happen on good days

it always comes crashing down at some poiny

i literally just talked to my therapist today about how it’s been over a month

whaetver i guess ljsut do it

a month clean is all i’ll ever be able to be

whaetevr

i feel horrinle

[frosty shore]

wtf was i doing

overreacting like hell

as always i guess

[frosty shore]

best songs on the album

my wrist is so damn itchy

[frosty shore]

i think i need my kennel right now, but i STILL haven’t gathered the confidence to ask someone to bring it up from the basement 😭😭

i wish i wasn’t so apprehensive and shameful about things

it’s just that they’re really embarrassing

idk if i’m making sense tbh

[frosty shore]

hi..

ugh

i’m just really upset

idk why i’m like this

i get upset and immediately need my boyfriend’s reassurance attention etc

i disregard anyone else’s

but the thing is

my boyfriend isn’t good at reassuring over text

so it doesn’t really help in the moment but i don’t want to admit that to him

i feel like harming myself this is not fucking normal

why am i like this

why does that have to be my first instinct in response to feeling bad

it just makes my boyfriend upset too because even if i try to hide it he gets the hint from my tone

and it makes me feel worse it doesn’t even help anymore

[frosty shore]

i fucking love gethsemane by csh

[frosty shore]

boyfriend hasn’t responded for 40 minutes …. should i kms…………..

slash j but i’m upset

it’s selfish of me to feel upset but

i feel upset nonetheless

[frosty shore]

he didn’t get the notification he’ll

help

i’m stuoid

but we’re about to call so it’s okay

i love my boyfriend so much that it hurts

aaahhthahhdsjdhdjfhsjdj

[frosty shore]

edited my first message to say you can talk here :3

[frosty shore]

CORDS ‘ROUND MY FEET JACKDAW AT MY BREEEEEEEAST

https://tenor.com/view/dancing-cat-dance-cat-cat-meme-chinese-cat-gif-12629347036627000898

[brave marsh]

YAY!!!!!

[frosty shore]

YAYAYAYYAA

[graceful gorge]

Yippy

[frosty shore]

oh my goodness gracious

dis one is funny

flash warning if you can’t read it

[frosty shore]

i started to cry

i’m actually dhaking

[graceful gorge]

I appreciate you

You did a good

I’m sorry if I’m not supposed to be writing here

[frosty shore]

i cdsnt breathe

oneeetocalmd down

[graceful gorge]

You all good?

[frosty shore]

not rreakky

sssirryrena i don’t wsnt to vent in ypurdms so ill jus

it’s just th

at

i wss having a good day today

i wanted to spread positivity

i wanted to let boden know that there’s hope

i don t know why that gets that in responde

i really don’t underatand

i wasn’t trying to sound mean either

i really wasn’t

in trying to calm down

[frosty shore]

i’m sorru if what i said didn’t apply to your situation and i didn’t know what i was talking about like basil said

i was just foing offwnst i knew

in sorry

[graceful gorge]

It’s okay

[frosty shore]

i’ve calmed down

[frosty shore]

thank you

[graceful gorge]

No problem

[frosty shore]

i feel so bad for amane

[frosty shore]

i do it to punish myself too, but i don’t do it as deep anymore thankfully. i developed ocd after i almost died from it that kind of worked basically like “if i don’t self harm like this, something worse will happen” and “something else” could either be me doing it deeper or having an outburst at my boyfriend. or both. so self harm for me rn is a coping mechanism and a compulsion

i didn’t want to interrupt by talking about myself

[frosty shore]

SCREAMING SCREAMING

SCREAAMMMIINGGG

https://x.com/grimfantas/status/1818848842663502306?s=46

🤍 (@grimfantas) on X

#0104_m

X · Aug 1, 2024, 3:18 AM

AAAAAHHH

I LOVE HARUMUU

[frosty shore]

what if i’m EFLV

idk..

[frosty shore]

a

i need this but it’s so expensive i spent most of my money on tickets today

[graceful gorge]

What tickets

[frosty shore]

concert tickets!!!!

HI BODEN

[graceful gorge]

Hey doggo

[graceful gorge]

To which band?

[frosty shore]

la dispute :3

[frosty shore]

https://x.com/ch_3_7/status/1641637486010023937?s=46

Cherry (@ch_3_7) on X

#0104_m
🥺

X · Mar 31, 2023, 3:04 AM

https://x.com/muyengram/status/1829131881897771408?s=46

뮁🕯️ (@muyengram) on X

#0104_m

연교했어요

X · Aug 29, 2024, 12:19 PM

https://x.com/32amigirl/status/1909656533602071018?s=46

担当医 (@32amigirl) on X

#0104_m

X · Apr 8, 2025, 5:16 PM

back on my harumuu shit

https://x.com/jachu0913/status/1869211050027155528?s=46

자발적추인 (@jachu0913) on X

#0104_m

X · Dec 18, 2024, 2:40 AM

[frosty shore]

??

[graceful gorge]

What am I reading..

[frosty shore]

JSKAJSKSJD

dimensional (the app notification) gets freaky sometimes with no warning 💔

it’s a personality app

stuff like this

[graceful gorge]

What da fuk

[frosty shore]

WHAT

[frosty shore]

woopsie made a oopsiee

damn

https://open.spotify.com/track/7yBjQ29XKxHlxuqycHuvmm?

GIVE UP GIVE UP I CANT HEAR YOU

COME OOOOOOONNNNN https://open.spotify.com/track/4Fqy2uZfTgX41UXWRcYqLk?

[frosty shore]

i hope this sends i cut out the intro

HELL YEAH

EVERYONE WATCB THAT

ITS A SONG IN CSH’S NEW ALBUM

my favorite part

[frosty shore]

i wish i could send voice messages here

[frosty shore]

my boyfriend is going to drive through Chicago to get to minnesota

i’m eorried

all the things i’ve heard about chicago have been bad

i think he thinks i’m worrying too much and exaggerating

i don’t know

it looks like he’ll be going through downtown

on a highway, but

ugh

downtowns of big cities are always bad

[frosty shore]

i think he’s mad at me

i might relaps

[frosty shore]

jmreskky strugglgigjh

jkl kiust gotosssleepe

[frosty shore]

mr peanutbutter

MUU KUSONOKI MENTIONED

[frosty shore]

muu my beloved muumuu

[frosty shore]

WHAT DA HELL

okayy..

https://tenor.com/view/lelouch-code-geass-never-cook-again-never-cook-gif-2788699210417916902

(they cooked)

[frosty shore]

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1319352754870681641/1370582782408917034/IMG_2520.gif

[frosty shore]

wtf is this

[graceful gorge]

I dunno man

[frosty shore]

spotify 🥀

[graceful gorge]

Just keep it simple please 🥀

[frosty shore]

THERES NO WAY THATS NOT SOPHIE THATCHER

yo…..

https://tenor.com/view/natalie-yellowjackets-nat-yellowjackets-yellowjackets-gif-11967037520633582925

[frosty shore]

REAL

you can see past the top 5 songs now wtf

i hate that people vote her guilty

[graceful gorge]

Oh yeah they have had that for a little while now

[frosty shore]

i just downloaded the update HELP

i had a version from way back

[frosty shore]

HER MV IMPLIES HER GETTING WATERBOARDED AND TAZED AND WE ALREADY KNOW SHE WAS GROOMED INTO A CULT LIKE

WHY GUILTY

UGGHHH

i like it this way 👅

mikoto so hawt

[graceful gorge]

Don’t become one of them please.

I beg

[frosty shore]

https://tenor.com/view/milgram-mikoto-kayano-mikoto-meme-gif-22698295

you can’t tell me..

[graceful gorge]

This is weird to look at

[frosty shore]

i need dis man

[graceful gorge]

Oh lord

This is bad

You know he would probably kill you right?

[frosty shore]

https://tenor.com/view/mikoto-mikoto-kayano-kayano-mikoto-orekoto-milgram-john-gif-17623873581998562831

[frosty shore]

ACKSHUALLYYYYYYYY

mikoto has DID

his alter

is the one who killed

i like them both but

yk.

he can kill me if he wants.

[graceful gorge]

You ever thought you might have a problem /j

[frosty shore]

i embrace it 🤎

[graceful gorge]

So he’s schizo?

[frosty shore]

NO HE HAS DID

[graceful gorge]

Did?

[frosty shore]

he can

actually km not continuing

[frosty shore]

dissociative identity disorder

[graceful gorge]

So he’s a physcopath?

[frosty shore]

NO

[graceful gorge]

He needs to be locked up

[frosty shore]

it’s a complex dissociative disorder where you have alters

[frosty shore]

HE IS

THATS WHAT MILGRAM IS

it’s a prison

[graceful gorge]

So he’s bipolar?

[frosty shore]

STOP

ARR YOU RAGEBAITING

[graceful gorge]

I’m gonna make you flip out

[frosty shore]

WKSKDJAJDJSKJSA

[graceful gorge]

Lmao sorry

It sounds like he had a troubling childhood fr

[wary granite]

AI playlists are playlists that analyze what you listen to most frequently to recommend stuff you'll like

[frosty shore]

anyways muu 🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎

[frosty shore]

probably

his report isn’t out yet

[graceful gorge]

So what happens to her

[frosty shore]

OHHH

[frosty shore]

SHES LIKE

[graceful gorge]

So like DJX?

[frosty shore]

she used to be a bully

then

she was bullied

and she killed the girl who flipped that

FUCKK I LOVE MILGRAM

[graceful gorge]

What a sad story

I feel bad

Did she go to jail?

[frosty shore]

yes

she’s in milgram

which is a prison

[graceful gorge]

O

For life?

[frosty shore]

she made an oopsie 🤎

[frosty shore]

we don5 know

this is the last trial tho

so we get to see what happens

[graceful gorge]

How did she kill

[frosty shore]

she stabbed her

[graceful gorge]

Damn she dumb asf

[frosty shore]

STOPPP

[graceful gorge]

She just slimed out some random girl

[frosty shore]

SHES MY FAV ALONG WITH HARUKA

[graceful gorge]

I DONT KNOW WHAT YOUR TALKING ABOUT IM SORRY 🥀🥀😭

[frosty shore]

this is haruka

[graceful gorge]

Blue hair dude?

[frosty shore]

YESS

[graceful gorge]

What did he do?

[frosty shore]

wait lemme get the pics

[graceful gorge]

Now I’m shaking in my boots

[frosty shore]

Born in 1997, in Nagaoka, Niigata.
Fron an early age, Haruka Sakural developed more slowly compared to his peers.
His overprotective parents would not accept that their child had developmental delays, and did not provide him with an educational environment suited to his needs.
The gap in developmental achievements between him and his peers kept widening, so much so that when Haruka reached 15 years old, he could still not adequately read kanji.
It was around that time that his parents simply gave up, and they shift from overprotectiveness to disinterest. Fron then forth, his parents acted as if Haruka did not exist. Haruka tried to regain his parents' attention by causing problens and disturbances, but his parents' attention was never directed at him again.
Haruka starts to kill snall animals in secret fron around that time. He killed insects, he killed mice, he killed stray cats and dogs. He felt relieved that there was life in this world that was inferior to him.
Haruka's actions soon escalate, and he starts to kill pet cats and dogs as well.
The following day, as he witnessed the torsented screans of the people who had suddenly lost a life they so cherished, he has a deep emotional reaction where he feels for the very first time that he is indeed connected to the world.

[graceful gorge]

So he killed someone

[frosty shore]

The neighborhood increased its security soon afterward, and Haruka's unsophisticated crimes soon came to light.
The police detained and questioned him harshly. Haruka experiences a heightened sense of excitement with all of this interest and attention directed at himself. When he saw the faces of his parents, who were called in for him and him alone, that heightened exciterent reached a fever pitch, and he fainted.
The day he was released, Haruka committed an act of killing. The victim was a small child, clearly much less powerful than himself.
It was the day of the fireworks festival. He targeted a child who had strayed from her parents.
Haruka weeps, as he clumsily hides the body.
"This child's life was probably much more valuable than my own”
"A future much brighter than mine was probably awaiting this child”
"Why did I end up like this?"
Haruka cried, night after night after that, and repented. He thinks about the future of the child he killed, and claws at his chest.
When he came to, he was strangling the neck of a second child.

i had to change some things

[graceful gorge]

Also he killed dog so I hate him

[graceful gorge]

Damn so he’s like

I hate him

He seems like a bitch

[frosty shore]

HE’S

[graceful gorge]

No disrespect

[frosty shore]

INSNANE

BUT

[graceful gorge]

Ofc

[frosty shore]

I LOVE HIM

[graceful gorge]

That’s weird fr

[frosty shore]

😔😔😔

[graceful gorge]

That you love a phycopatg?

[frosty shore]

he’s in a codependent relationship with muu

well

[graceful gorge]

Fuck

[frosty shore]

was..

haruka died

[graceful gorge]

How

[frosty shore]

he starved himself within the prison

after muu was voted guilty

[graceful gorge]

Dumbass dude

I mean silly guy

[frosty shore]

HELP

[brave marsh]

😟

[graceful gorge]

I just don’t get anime

[frosty shore]

it’s not ANIME!!!

[graceful gorge]

Oh hey laz

[frosty shore]

ITS A MUSIC PROJECT

[graceful gorge]

What is it

[brave marsh]

hiiii

[graceful gorge]

It is?

[frosty shore]

HI LAZ

[frosty shore]

YES

[graceful gorge]

I thought it was anime

[frosty shore]

noooo

[brave marsh]

is it a musical do they sing

[frosty shore]

THEY DO SING

[brave marsh]

OMG

[frosty shore]

all the music videos are sung/voiced by the cast

[graceful gorge]

So it’s a musical anime?

[frosty shore]

no it’s not an anime

[graceful gorge]

It looks like one

It has videos

[frosty shore]

yeah it was animated like an anime would be but it’s not an anime

[graceful gorge]

It’s animated

[frosty shore]

music videos!!!

[graceful gorge]

Like an anime

[frosty shore]

and interrogations!!!

[graceful gorge]

It has a story

It seems like an anime

But idk man

[frosty shore]

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL_B2PkT0YPnUhZaXxfpAu0F4BRFs3qgqu&si=QuPfDoCZsxsmbdsE

i think you’d like mikoto ngl

if you watched it

his music vids are metal

[graceful gorge]

Time to retreat into my bat cave (my jornal I’m just schizophrenic)

[frosty shore]

OKI

[graceful gorge]

I’m more into rap

[frosty shore]

HMMMM

i think you should give Double a chance sometime it’s my fav song from milgram

surprisingly it’s not muu..

mikoto 👅👅

one of the best songs in milgram if we’re being fr https://youtu.be/CZn-dx4O4gA?si=b16cbseGnDaaxgfm

and it’s not even by an inmate

it’s by the prison warden

which is

the viewer

[graceful gorge]

Holy shit

It’s actually really well animated

That’s amazing

Whoever made that is really talented

Definitely not into the music but

I’d watch that for the animation

[frosty shore]

REALLLLL

the animation improves a lot by the second trial

this is double https://youtu.be/uT_YCsUHUEg?si=Trwq3wnTr1VVXyRg

[brave marsh]

this os fire

[frosty shore]

RIGHHHHTTTT

AAAHHH

[frosty shore]

i can’t wait to call my boyfriend

ugggghhsjajsjsjsjhssj

he hasn’t been replying much today but he said we can call tonight

i love my friends here

i love my friends

i love you all

[graceful gorge]

We love you too

[frosty shore]

☹️☹️

[graceful gorge]

Why sad?

[frosty shore]

i consider you one of my best friends here boden

[frosty shore]

it’s a happy frown

[graceful gorge]

Aw thank you

[graceful gorge]

I wasn’t aware sorry

[frosty shore]

IT’S OKAY no need to apologize

[graceful gorge]

Sorry

Fuck

Sorry

Damnit imma shut up

[frosty shore]

most people don’t understand my way of typing heh

[frosty shore]

YOU’RE GOOD

https://tenor.com/view/nutricionista-em-blumenau-gif-3903716512369569061

[graceful gorge]

Silly puppy

[frosty shore]

https://tenor.com/view/helicopter-puppy-helicopter-puppy-wagging-tail-gif-8160737066068723289

me rn

i love my friends

[graceful gorge]

Happy dog

That’s a really cute puppy holy shit

[frosty shore]

RIGHT

I LOVE DOGS SMMMM

[graceful gorge]

Me too

I like animals

[frosty shore]

SAMEEE

so cutie patootie

i wanna work with animals

[graceful gorge]

Volunteer at a shelter

Or get a job there

[frosty shore]

i might!!!!

[graceful gorge]

Make money to work with puppy and kitty

[frosty shore]

YESSSS

[frosty shore]

i want to scream

that ezperience literally kinda traumatized me and i’m not sure how

[graceful gorge]

What

[frosty shore]

this must be love..

they gave me an extra cookie

[frosty shore]

HHJDGUD

fuck this song is so good https://open.spotify.com/track/74nPzST89hVhtZMJ0UNJeW?

[frosty shore]

this song is so gooooooooooood

i love csh so much

[frosty shore]

https://tenor.com/view/kafka-honkai-star-rail-gif-8246889039676414179

she’s so hot

i kinda wanna get back into hsr

https://tenor.com/view/honkai-honkai-star-rail-jingliu-gif-8327632593455954073

my queen

https://tenor.com/view/sword-fight-blade-blade-fight-blade-honkai-gif-7824609360109031576

my king

it’s too much storage tho

INFORGOT ABOUT HER

she’s new

so idk anything about her

but i love her

[graceful gorge]

What new anime is this

[frosty shore]

it’s a game

[graceful gorge]

O

My bad

[frosty shore]

https://tenor.com/view/aglaea-honkai-star-rail-aglaea-hsr-aglaea-skill-aglaea-leaks-remembrance-women-gif-3176335874076684868

she’s sooo pretty

NO

[graceful gorge]

Lmao

[frosty shore]

IT’S HONKAI STAR RAIL.

[graceful gorge]

Oh shit

My bad

[frosty shore]

https://tenor.com/view/smirk-blade-evil-blade-honkai-blade-honkai-star-rail-gif-2484232975592834019

he was my fav

when i played

but i stopped playing bc it became too much for my weak ass laptop

https://tenor.com/view/blade-blade-hsr-blade-honkai-star-rail-honkai-star-rail-star-rail-gif-16370861810954164859

[frosty shore]

SCREAMING

[frosty shore]

local dogboy shitty voice reveal

i wish i could send voice messages it would be way easier

i wanna talk in comms

vms

sometimes i don’t wanna type man

rant

sending

does this work

i’m gonna get obsessed with sending vms

[graceful gorge]

Me too 😭🥀

[frosty shore]

HELL YEAH

voice message revolution

[graceful gorge]

I sound like a cis male

😭

Given I am but

[frosty shore]

ARE YOU NOT?

YEAH

HELP

i sound like a cis woman 💔💔💔

[graceful gorge]

Is that bad? 😭 I’m so fucking sorry I’m shit at pronouns and stuff like that.

[frosty shore]

I WANNA SOUND ANDROGYNOUS

AND IT’S OKAY

[graceful gorge]

What’s that mean?

[frosty shore]

it can be hard when my pfp is always a girl

[frosty shore]

andro = male
gyne = female
ous = “of” something

basically a mix of male and female

i just want to sound like

[graceful gorge]

Ooohhhh

[frosty shore]

like you can’t tell my gender

[graceful gorge]

I could never do that 😭

[frosty shore]

LIKE YOU COULD NEVER SOUNF ANDROGYNOUS?

[graceful gorge]

No?

[frosty shore]

I’M CONFUSED

like you could never do what

[graceful gorge]

Sound like you couldn’t tell my gender

[frosty shore]

aOH

so yeah you could never sound androgynous basically

[graceful gorge]

Yeah I think?

[frosty shore]

YEAH

[graceful gorge]

YEah

🗣️🔥

[frosty shore]

man i wanna

sound like nobody can tell my gender

soooobad

i also wanna learn to sin

sing

SING

[graceful gorge]

Why?

[graceful gorge]

I got scared

[frosty shore]

because i don’t like sounding feminine

[graceful gorge]

Ohhhhhhhh

[frosty shore]

HELP

YEAH

i dress feminine i sound feminine

bht apparently i look androgynous

idk how true that is.

people say it but idk..

[graceful gorge]

I’ve seen a few pics that you sent. From what I can tell you look feminine as well (sorry if that’s an insult??)

[frosty shore]

IT’S OKAY I’VE NEVER SENT MY FACE HERE THO

[graceful gorge]

Yeah I havnt seen that

So take my opinion w a grain of salt

[frosty shore]

YESS

logan said i look androgynous

he’s seen my face

my boyfriend says i look androgynous

he’s obviously seen my face

BUT

IDK

i don’t believe it..

i have the urge to send my face everywhere i go (if it’s allowed ofc) and ask the people if i look sndrogynous

[frosty shore]

you’ve seen my hair right?

that’s quite feminine

i can admit that

[graceful gorge]

Yeah

[graceful gorge]

Yes

[frosty shore]

i love my hair sm

[graceful gorge]

Do you think you look feminine?

[frosty shore]

i think i do

[graceful gorge]

This is epic

[frosty shore]

it’s AWESOMESAUCE!!!!!!!

[graceful gorge]

Frr

[frosty shore]

i sent my face to some guy here once who used to be my friend

a while
back

he thought i was a cis male

even after seeing my face

i could not believe that shit

absolute sealnema if you ask me

[graceful gorge]

Sel

Nema

[frosty shore]

HELPPPPHOFOFFJFFJD

OMEGA ERA ACTIVATEDDDDDD!!!!!

[graceful gorge]

What have I witnesssd

[frosty shore]

bro what

I LITERALLY SENT MY PASSPORT

DUDE

[graceful gorge]

You should charge your phone 🙏

It’s begging you

[frosty shore]

thank god

[frosty shore]

OK I’M CHARGING IT NOW

[graceful gorge]

What app is this?

[frosty shore]

tiktok

[graceful gorge]

Your phone thanks yiu

[graceful gorge]

Ohhhhh I think I’m just mentally restarted

[frosty shore]

NOOO

you’ve just probably never had to verify your age

[graceful gorge]

I don’t use ticktock

[frosty shore]

💔💔💔

[graceful gorge]

I use insta reels cus I’m racist /jjjjjjjjj

[frosty shore]

it sucks tho bc i only got flagged after i posted a video about being trans????

[frosty shore]

STOP

i use ig reels too…

🥀

[graceful gorge]

My fy page is so cooked

[frosty shore]

i opened reels and this was the first one https://www.instagram.com/reel/DFQkbsmPgdG/?igsh=cWpnNW81bnpqNDFy

[graceful gorge]

This was mine 😭😭😭 https://www.instagram.com/reel/DJW-jYWRTdN/?igsh=MTZuMDg3Mzh0Nm43eg==

[frosty shore]

BRO

i scrolled from that and got this

i think we are on very different sides of reels

[graceful gorge]

Very much so

[graceful gorge]

Ts had me dying

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DJe5V6iRm7L/?igsh=MXA5d3M4OWNkcjF0YQ==

busty.alcoholic

i wish i had a coffee shop

Likes

265189

Instagram

I found another

[frosty shore]

🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃

[frosty shore]

NOT THE CAT

ONE OF MY MUTUALS LIKED THAT HELP

[graceful gorge]

Oh lort

[frosty shore]

OMG

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DG8U-lkJK9e/?igsh=MXcydHNkOXN3eGN2Zw==

Instagram

[graceful gorge]

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DJqYtwDOqrE/?igsh=MXJsYXY5NmF2dWNjNA==

yuppie556

Likes

326927

Instagram

[graceful gorge]

Is that NATZUKI??

[frosty shore]

HELDKADJSKDJKSDJKSD

[frosty shore]

YES

[graceful gorge]

Ddlc broke me

[frosty shore]

BRO THAT HUET ME

HURT

JUST WATCHING IT

[graceful gorge]

Big tumble

[frosty shore]

WAIT I NEED TO SEND YOU THIS ONE IN DMS

I’M CRYING

AKDJAJDJKDD https://www.instagram.com/reel/DH3mgJDMcbD/?igsh=bGZjNmU2eXphaHlx

ogilvietheblue_tv

We came a long way! Lets keep creating guys! Don't stop!

#sonic #sonicmemes #sonicthehedgehog #sonicedits #sonicfanart #moodswings

Likes

327618

Instagram

[frosty shore]

a

my boyfriend doesn’t want to talk on call tonight :(

[graceful gorge]

Why

I’m purple now

[frosty shore]

it’s okay but i was really looking forward to talking to him

[frosty shore]

not sure

he just asked if it’s okay if we just call right before we sleep instead of calling like we normally do

[frosty shore]

FIRE

[graceful gorge]

I remember when I first joined this place.

Wow it’s crazy

Anyways

[frosty shore]

e

i feel like i made him feel bad

i feel like i always do this on accident

it’s like subconscious manipulation to have my way i guess

i feel horrible about it

[frosty shore]

i DON’T😭

i joined 2+ years ago

my memory is bad too so

[graceful gorge]

Yeah man… long time.

[frosty shore]

i barely talked when i was here years ago

i mainly talked in the mental health channels when i was in a crisis

and that’s it

i think i’ve improved a lot about socializing with the people in this server outside of my own problems

it feels nice

yeah i’m a horrible person

god

i always get upset over the stupidest fucking things and it’s making him learn to walk on eggshells around me i don’t want this

i actually hate myself so much

[graceful gorge]

Why…?

That’s sad to hear

[frosty shore]

i always subconsciously make myself seem more pitiful than i actually am in order to get what i want and then i feel bad about it when it’s my own fault

[graceful gorge]

It’s subconsciously though. You can’t control that.

[frosty shore]

yeah,, but it’s subconscious only in the moment and i’m able to recognize i did it after, but i immediately forget about it when i get a response and i do it again. i perpetuate it myself and it’s my fault because acting pitiful has been so normal for me my entire life it’s so difficult to change my ways

i apologize too much and i think it’s because i’m subconsciously making myself appear more pitiful to get what i want , whether that be attention, comfort, or calling my boyfriend 😭

or wateeeever else

it’s just

i hate that about myself

[graceful gorge]

😟

Sorry

Continue

[frosty shore]

😭 what’s that for

[graceful gorge]

Just the way you said it idk

[frosty shore]

i’m confused now 💔

how did i say it 💔

[graceful gorge]

Nvm it’s my bad

You just drew out whateeeeever

I just pointed that out

Again sorry

Continue

[frosty shore]

no it’s okay

i just wanted clarification bc i didn’t understand, you’re good

i’m also just

sorry this is a continuation of wat i was saying earlier

i’m also just

so used to being and acting pitiful? i guess? that i even sometimes perpetuate it consciously?? i just did that and it reminded me that it is conscious sometimes

it sucks

because i’m so used to being in that position

[graceful gorge]

I see.

[frosty shore]

of “i’m sorry, i’m sorry” “i won’t do it again” “i’m sorry for being mean” “i’m sorry”

literally half of my everyday vocab^

[frosty shore]

that i perpetuate it consciously because i’m so used to it i guess

[graceful gorge]

Yeah I can understand where your coming from

[frosty shore]

and i don’t like veering anywhere different

i don’t even like the idea of changing because it means i won’t be pitiful to people anymore

i like when people pity me

isn’t that

insane

[frosty shore]

thank you

[graceful gorge]

Ofc

[graceful gorge]

No. It’s sometimes just nature

[frosty shore]

my boyfriend went offline i’m not sure if i upset him or not

[graceful gorge]

And yiu shouldn’t be apologizing for being the way you are

[graceful gorge]

I’m sure you didn’t

[frosty shore]

it’s just that

everywhere i go

people are like

“don’t pity me” or something

“i hate when people pity me”

and i’m just there like

feeling alienated

[graceful gorge]

I can realte to this feeling imensly

[frosty shore]

it’s not that they’re wrong to not like being pitied, it’s that nobody i’ve ever met in my entire life is the same way as me

in that they like being pitied also

[frosty shore]

it’s unfortunate and it shouldn’t be this way but i think a lot of people who are mentally ill or neurodivergent feel alienated almost all the time

[graceful gorge]

And that’s okay.

[graceful gorge]

It is. And it sucks

But keep venting if you need I gotta take some pills cus my throat hurts rly badly

[frosty shore]

no worries

i hope your throat feels better :c

[graceful gorge]

Tyyyy

I’m back

[frosty shore]

but yeah it just sucks because my main way of obtaining comfort and attention is through making myself appear (and adopting the mindset of) a pitiful child, a kid who is currently being abused at home, and it kinda pisses me off that i do that because i revert back to how i was when i was little- that abused little kid- just to get what i want from people in modern day and not for any better reason that everyone else who “reverts back to their child self” occasionally does, like coping mechanism therapeutic stuff

idek if any of that made sense

[graceful gorge]

It made sense

And I’m sorry you feel this way

It really sucks

And I know you feel helpless

[frosty shore]

i definitely do

i feel helpless all the time

it also kind of pisses me off that the only working and healthy coping mechanism i have right now is one that’s cringed at by 99% of the population

i wish i was different

[graceful gorge]

This is actually sad to hear

I think your really chill

[frosty shore]

my mom bought me a kennel like last month and it’s too heavy for me to bring up from the basement myself and i’ve been too fucking embarrassed and shameful to ask someone to help me bring it up to my room. i’ve just been trying to ignore it when it would really help me. but at the same time i don’t jnow how to make myself go into that headspace alone. i really need my boyfriend’s help for it. it seems like when i’m with him in real life i’m in that headspace all the time because he brings that out of me just by being so comforting. but i’m not comforting to myself. i feel horrible about myself. so i’m not sure how to make it work when he’s not available

[frosty shore]

i don’t think i’m chill at all unfortunately 💔

in all senses of the word

i don’t think i’m chill

[graceful gorge]

I mean maybe your more explosive and energetic but your easy to talk to

[frosty shore]

thank you 💔 i’m always worrying yhat i’m hard to talk to, like if i don’t know what else to say or if i get stuck on what words to use in a conversation, i worry that the other person will get mad at me

[graceful gorge]

I find it more human

I’d rather talk o someone who messes up than to a robot

It just makes you more human

[frosty shore]

i frel like

i’ve kinda gotten too vulnerable in my journal and now i’m worried that other people who might read this will call me out when i act pitiful in this server outside of my journal? even though that’s probably a good thing to call me out on it, it terrifies me

[graceful gorge]

It’s okay

[frosty shore]

i think i’m just a bad person tbh

[graceful gorge]

I got your back

[graceful gorge]

No

That’s not true

You may think that

But nobody else does

[frosty shore]

:c i don’t know

i used to be crazier than i am now

and like

in the bad way

in the “acting rude to people to appease my friends” way

[graceful gorge]

That’s progress

That’s what counts

[frosty shore]

i think not having those people as my friends anymore really helped me

i prioritized those friends over friends that i’ve had for a longer period

and it was bad

[graceful gorge]

I was like that

Still am really

I’m sorry but I’ve got to go. You can keep venting tho. I promise I’ll read it all when I wake up.

[frosty shore]

that’s okay!!’ i’m getting tired anyway

goodnight boden!!!’

sleep well

thank you for being so supportive and reading everything

[graceful gorge]

Goodnight

Hope you feel better soon

[frosty shore]

morning

idk what’s going on in general so i’m gonna talk here

we don’t have anything proper to eat for breakfast so i had cookies

[brave marsh]

YUM!!!

still yummyyy

[frosty shore]

they were yummy i have to admit

[graceful gorge]

I got music and waffles

[frosty shore]

YUMMMYYU

[graceful gorge]

I’m hungry

[frosty shore]

EAR

aEat

EAT

[graceful gorge]

I will

[frosty shore]

HELL YEAH

do you know what you’re gonna have

[graceful gorge]

Waffle

👍

[frosty shore]

(verse 1)
A fervid belonging, feverish links
Redirecting us to a page of withdrawing, feverish tinct
A thousand broken pieces of grisaille
A thousand broken pieces for sale
Sold by broken therapists who failed
Never believed me, never will

(chorus)
I’m aware that my art scares you.
I’m aware that my art is intense, it imbues
It’s supposed to.
It’s supposed to.
Yes, it’s supposed to.

idk how to improve this

i feel like the lyrics are too 2015-esque

cringeworthy

[frosty shore]

YUMM

i love waffles tbh

[Verse 1]
Like a shadow on a shadow, a phantom in a film strip
Faint glimmer of the past trapped in mother’s old slides
Sits still in the apartment while sifting through some pictures
Of the child that he once was and the sense of hope they framed
“It’s a shame”
And I fear that fate while the humming from the street keeps me awake
He says, “I let life get twisted
Get worn out, torn up, and late with the rent
And now nothing makes sense except the bench and that piano
A feeling nearing order when I’m pressing down the chords”
And he plays
And it swells and breaks, but what’ll it take to make my life sound like that?

[Verse 2]
And brings a fever, a dream of sweat and ecstasy
A kiss on every hammer hit that follows as the keys fall down
And bring an order first, then chaos, then a calm, that
Paints every shift in murals on the wall
And it presses to your neck
It clutches to your hips
Softly sings to you of fireworks and God and art and sex and it’s strange
That it feels so right when nothing else does

[Verse 3]
But all the while he’s playing
There’s a humming coming up and through the window from outside
And even he has to admit a certain melody in it
But then why can’t he harmonize?
It’s like the city’s got it’s own song but he can’t play along
He sees the notes as they fly by but always plays them wrong
And in the bathroom it gets blurry; gets warm and distorted
Like light pushed the orange of the pillbox he poured in his palm
It falls to the floor, he smiles as it hits
“Sounds a little like an instrument"

[Verse 4]
Like a voice in the choir
That hum and that drumbeat of life as an art-form
And fire through the streets that keep moving us in silence
To phantom baton sweeps
Keep tapping to the tempo of our feet

And all the ones who seem to fit the best into the chorus
Never notice there’s a song
And the ones who seem to hear it end up tortured by the chords
When they fail to find away to sing along

And when you sing the wrong thing it all starts collapsing
Starts to ring out and feedback
Starts lapsing and crashing, on notes that don’t clash
But that never quite feel like they match
And I never quite feel like mine match

[Outro]
There’s a melody in everything
I’m trying to find a harmony but
Nothing seems to work
Nothing seems to fit

There’s a melody in everything
I’m trying to find a harmony but
Nothing seems to work
Nothing seems to fit

There’s a melody in everything
I’m trying to find a harmony but
Nothing seems to work
Nothing fits

(not mine)

i wish i could write like gim

i feel like all my lyrics are too cringe

[graceful gorge]

You write all this?

[frosty shore]

not the longer one

i wrote the one above it

[frosty shore]

this

idk it’s cringe as fuck

idk how to improve it

[graceful gorge]

Idk I think it’s pretty good

[frosty shore]

my last song was pretty intensely cringe

[graceful gorge]

Yeah I know that feeling

[frosty shore]

writing about your owntrauma is so difficult

i just write what i think in the moment combined with the feelings i felt from all the way back when i was going through it and then my feelings as time goes on

and it sounds

cringe

i mentioned a medicine i used to take and what it did to me and i feel like its so 2016 sad music core

• [x] “Princess”
  (intro)
  Say that word like you mean it
  And I’ll say mine like I mean them
  Even if I have to condemn your word
  I think I’ll always cherish the hurt

(verse 1)
After all, adorning me with fear was always the approach; and it did come easy, the fear, to coax
The custom crown and it’s just for me, isn’t that just so sweet it makes your teeth ache?
Oh, so sweet, it makes me want to up my Prozac intake
Become a shell of nothing— nothing but me and my crown of fear, “which is more drear?” I ask myself as days go by
And I realize as days go by that time is moving all too fast, I’m a teenager now; when did that happen, anyways?

(verse 2)
But as I’m a teenager now, I have had so much time to think about you
Your love, maybe the lack-thereof, maybe all of the above
And as I’m a teenager now, I come to realize as years go by that maybe
Just maybe, maybe, maybe, that love or lack-thereof, or all of the above, was not
And what it was, was defilement; contamination
Thinking about if you deserve castration, or something worse
Urinary tract infections, bruises and scars, something that will always make you cherish the hurt
Something that will always make you cherish the hurt.

(outro)
And sometimes I do miss you
But sometimes I wonder what I’m sometimes missing, since, you know…
You were never quite there.
You were never quite there, and yet…
Why do I miss you?
You never provided,
You never supported,
You rarely felt anything except when you injected it.
I guess I just bonded with this.
I made connections with the very emotions that you lacked.
I bonded with the idea of you, but never with the actual… you.

wrap it up!

top 5 cringeworthy moments

there’s not even a chorus 😂😂😂

oh well

[graceful gorge]

I’ve made some pretty cringe songs too dw

[frosty shore]

idk i just don’t know how to write in a way that’s not reminiscent of 2016 sadcore songs

that shit is cringe 🥀

i wish i could write like a mix of how tyler joseph wrote blurryface and how jordan dreyer wrote somewhere at the bottom of the river

blurryface is considered cringe nowadays but it sounds good as FUCKKKK

so it’s iconic

blurryface also heavily contributed to how gen z is so comfortable talking about mental health

and i wanna write like jordan dreyer bc he’s so poetic

he can find beauty and lyrics in everyday things

it’s amazing

[frosty shore]

HELP

see this would be like excusable if he just didn’t add the throwing up emojis because i would just take it as him not wanting to date a man but with the throwing up emojis it just comes across as transphobic 😭

anyways i hope i am not just a trans man to you all but also a cute girl :3

i wish i could be a cute girl in the androgynous type way

if that even makes sense

idek

[frosty shore]

outfit for going out today :3

[frosty shore]

:3

[frosty shore]

HOMEEEE

omg kroger was awesome

they had a WHOLE starbucks inside

INSANEEE

AND THEY HAD SO MUCH VARIETY

IT WAS SO COOL

[graceful gorge]

Sounds awesome!

[frosty shore]

I GOT SUSHI AND BANANA FLAVORED COCONUT MILK

[graceful gorge]

Yummm

[frosty shore]

i can’t wait to drink one tomorrow

https://open.spotify.com/track/1yf97yL1ll8FYXC27c9VTw?

whyy wonttt you speak

where i happen toooo be

silent in the trees

standing cowardly

III CAAAN FEEEEL YOOOOOOUR BREATH

I CAAAAN FEEEEEEEL MYYYYYY DEATH

I WANT TO KNOOOW YOU

I WANT TO SEEEEEEEEE

I WANT TO SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

HELLO!!!!!

fuck i love twenty one pilots

[graceful gorge]

I can tell 😭

[frosty shore]

JSKSJSKSJS

THE AIR BEGINS TO FEEL A LIYTLE THIN!!!!

AS I START THE CAR AND THEN I BEGin