I don’t wanna drink beer, even though rn would be like the perfect fuckin time
#Johnnies mindscape wooooowww
solemn trout
But im scared
If beer is what triggered my hallucinations
I don’t want it to happen again
god my body just aches
I don’t know what love really feels like
I probably won’t know
i just want to shrink down into a ball and hide
from this world
I have no way of truly expressing my feelings, my love and affection keeps burning itself into an unusable fuel inside of me
seeing someone being called baby is almost like a 50. Cal to the chest
point. blank.
nothing i can even do to get better on this
Like
People just randomly get a bf or gf for literally nothing
OUT OF NOWHERE
like
Literally nothin
Not just talking about online
But irl too
Irl is worse
Nobody even bats an eye
My clothing style is shit
My music taste is shit
my hair is shit
my everything
literally nothing about me is lovable or interesting
Other than..
my heart
But no one gives a shit about that in this world
bright sun
I can't speak for others so I'll speak for myself.
Your style is great
Your music taste is awesome
I bet your hair is awesome
Your heart is pure and love filled.
It's hard for good people to achieve meaningful relationships and that Includes you. And that's not your fault. It's the fault of everyone else who's looked over you and rejected you. Look at you man.
Handsome
Loving
Caring
Kind
Affectionate
Very fit
Very energetic for all the problems you have
You're just fucking awesome. In every meaningful way I can think of. Every single way
Love is going to find you
Because honestly you're everything someone should want. Every way that matters. Your hight, health and mental health issues don't matter. It doesn't subtract from who you are and how amazing you are
There'll be a day where someone sees you for the perfect guy you are. End of story
Because in my eyes you are perfect in every meaningful way possible. Anyone would be lucky to have you and there'll be a guy who realizes that. Who sees you and loves you for your heart and personality and just for how amazing you are. And that love will last forever
solemn trout
bright sun
solemn trout
if I don’t respond in a little bit I cried myself to sleep, i just need a moment to take this in
bright sun
Of course. You're fucking amazing man
solemn trout
I just needed a breather from all this
Im speechless
I don’t know how to reply, but im taking all this straight into heart. Down into my core. My soul
Because things like this are rare said, and rarer done
And just this makes everything so much better
I guess I’ll just have to wait it out until someone sees me
i have no power in looking so im gonna anchor it
thank you, more than even god can imagine
bright sun
<:hugs:992823004532842516>thank you, more than even god can imagine
Just know I fucking adore you man/p
You're fucking amazing and there'll be a guy who sees it the same. There's not a damn thing wrong you
solemn trout
Just know I fucking adore you man/p
You're fucking amazing and there'll be a guy...
I believe you fren
Its gonna be a long road for me, but i have you. And that’s all i need/p
thank you again and thank you in advance
bright sun
Of course<33/p
I love you to death man/p
solemn trout
I hope my words help<33
I wish I could hug you rn
everything you do helps
i wish i could too, im hugging my phone so hard rn
bright sun
I promise when I get the chance to meet up with you I'll give you the biggest hug possible
solemn trout
yet another addition to our rivalry lol
Im gonna hug you even bigger :3
bright sun
Hate break it to you but I'm like way bigger than you
I'm gonna give you the biggest bear hug possible :3
solemn trout
we’ll see about that… ill just use my momentum :3
solemn trout
guhhhhh
‘femboys’ man
they always get everything
attention
affection
love
a partner
from what ive know theyrr ALWAYS pampered
i fucking despite it
ignored AGAIN
No one fucking cares
no one cares except logan
Igxgiffhfhfjjgjghjhhjhji
stupid fucking
Vvbhhj
back at it again with gtav
Been forever since ive played
burnt snow
No one fucking cares
I care man, even if I kinda don’t rly understand
solemn trout
solemn trout
from what ive know theyrr ALWAYS pampered
not saying i dont like them
i like everyone
its just frustrating to me
because of how much i want it, and how much ive tried
and it just seems so effortless for them
but thats just me
bright sun
because of how much i want it, and how much ive tried
The problem you tend to be forgetting about it is that when they date like that it tends to normally be out of lust. Especially with the younger ones like you see here. 90% (not to sound mean) those relationships won't last because they're basically just lustful. The relationship you want is meaningful and long lasting and nurturing. Which you'll get.
solemn trout
The problem you tend to be forgetting about it is that when they date like that ...
ive been blind this whole time ggyghhh
This basically solves most of my problems, what im seeing is not the same. And really, i just have to look in a different direction
bright sun
The relationship you want is a long lasting and meaningful relationship. One that'll last forever right?
solemn trout
right
bright sun
That's not what any of these femboys are really getting. 99% of them are in lustful relationships that are primarily about sex. Not about a future or love or care or marriage. Primarily sex. Especially the young ones. The kind of relationship you want is substantially harder to find since you aren't looking for lust you're looking for love
solemn trout
then ill keep looking, and never give up until i find one
Thank you Loganyou’re always the best there is, truly
i have a feeling its not gonna be too far
bright sun
bright sun
Just remember that you're looking for real love. And you'll find it. Because you're amazing
solemn trout
i will, oneday, and soon. I can feel it somewhere. And im not turning back
Im not gonna find it just because im a good person, ill find it because i have you Logan, youre the anchor. And im so thankful of you
Ill find real love because youre with me, and i trust that feeling /p
youre always the best
solemn trout
i mean it
with my heart and soul
i can always count on you Logan, and even when youre not there. Just having you in mind keeps me pushing /p
and you can always count on me, im here, indefinitely
were in this together
solemn trout
Im glad I can help. You're amazing John
Youre amazing too Loganso damn amazing
your help always means so much to me, even a little is enough.
My help is always free fren, my arms are always wide open
bright sun
solemn trout
solemn trout
Yo this guys been on my ass for like 3 laps now😭😭
tailgaiting the hell out of me vro im actually about to crash into him the moment he passes me
Lowkie i get it your car is faster on the corners
but stop sniffing my exhaust like your intoxicated 😭
Finished the race and holy
that was unnecessarily intense
1st place but got haunted the whole way through
Goddamn this tooks while for some reason
This was the guy
Im in the black mazda
i swear if i get swarmed by him again im gonna P.I.T. him
solemn trout
miau
solemn trout
“HERE IS SOMETHING YOU CANT UNDERSTAND
HOW I CAN JUST KILL A MAN”
🗣️🔥🗣️
Drove a bit out to get this good bad good view
weathers fucking shit
But was niceee
burnt snow
“HERE IS SOMETHING YOU CANT UNDERSTAND
HOW I CAN JUST KILL A MAN”
🗣️🔥🗣️
CYPRESS HILLLL?????!??
burnt snow
I used to listen to them 24/7
solemn trout
[Verse 1]
“What's the point of converse if it's not engaging and long?
What's the point of learning if you knew it all along?
What's the point of singing if you can't sing along?
What's the point of tasting if I don't taste your tongue?”
solemn trout
building some whacky ass shit in this game
😭
Not sure if its possible to build a functional mortar out of pumpkins
burnt snow
Not sure if its possible to build a functional mortar out of pumpkins
People playground?
burnt snow
IF IT WORKS PLS SHOW ME
solemn trout
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/37i9dQZF1E4v2q3dtctte7?si=be8616defbab4401 probably the best music ive ever eaten to
honestly
gonna rant again
solemn trout
it honestly just makes me feel shitty and so bad that i live wealthily
Like i have money. I have a good ass job. I have inheritance. I have 2 cars. I own a cabin/garage with my cousin. I have happiness. I have countless things to.
I dont have to worry about any political shit. I dont have to worry about poverty. My life is set.
and that makes me feel sad. Because MY friends, my best friends. Logan, and more have to deal underdog in this biblical hell of a country.
Like theyre foods getting taken away, theyre money, healthcare, their life, all being taken away or reduced to an insignificant level.
And it physically pains me to know that i dont have to go through any of this. While they deal with it head on.
But really? I have as much time in the world. And ill DAMN use it to help my friends out. Everyone. With everything. No matter where. No matter the deal. Ill help them, ill fight for them, ill fight WITH them, ill support them, walk by their side through it all and ill keep being by their side even when everything’s better or worse.
Because i dont know what im supposed to live for if all i have to do is myself. I live to support others, and give them the full extent of my love and care. Thats why i was born. Thats what god, and death, gave me. Thats what they granted me. And ill put everything i have in stock to good fuckin use, even if im running low emotionally or mentally.. ill keep juicing out what i have left to help out until im completely dried up.
And guess what?
Even them ill keep caring, supporting, loving, fighting and being the friend they need.
I am eternal.
I am ever thankful for all the people in my life.
I love you all.
I love everything and everyone that exists.
Im always here to help, to listen, to talk to, to cry with, to hug, to hold, to sit in silence, to hold you through the darkness, to show you the light, to put in my full commitment into your life
Ill stay loyal, and ill stay the way i am. No. Matter. What.
bright sun
<:chu_hug:1085839884801036338>
John
Honestly
From the bottom is my soul
You are one of, if not the best friend i could ever ask for and I don't deserve you. You're fucking amazing.
Don't ever feel bad for being better off then some of us.
It's good that you are so you don't have to suffer with us. You already try to help and I plan on a lot of things that'll help me out and keep me stable. If I need anything I'll ask and I'll vent. All I'll ever need from you consistently is what you're already doing. Being my friend
solemn trout
if i had the choice, i would choose to suffer with you.
But all i can do is be there, be your friend, the person you need when things go down. And ill be those for you, for anyone, and ill do it for as long as it takes, even if it means to cripple me ill be your friend. Your anchor. forever
bright sun
Thank you for being here John. Genuinely
solemn trout
bright sun
solemn trout
you dont have to say anything perfectly fren, im always thankful and happy to have you
love you man, so so much <3/p
bright sun
I love you too man <33/p
You're fucking amazing
solemn trout
im way more masculine then i can accept. Even though i often enjoy being feminine because it clicks in more with my natural personality, which also mixes(sorta) with how i dress. Its always shorts and hoodies 4 times too big for my body, or compression shirts that show me off. Tho i dont really like showing off my body cause i feel like im tryna ’get’
So its a weird mix for me, uncomfortably so
^
what i was gonna day in mainchat
but i felt like i being selfish and talking too much of myself
generic gay furry white guy built like a femboy whos been in the gym for almost a decade who also dresses like hes sad or self absorbed and ratty
basically my description of myself ^
visually
most of it doesnt even work when seen visually
bright sun
generic gay furry white guy built like a femboy whos been in the gym for almost ...
So sound kinda unique from the descriptions of you. Definitely not factory settings lmfao
Sound really different
bright sun
Shit bro
Got that exclusive skin🥀
Like I'm so generic 😭
You sounds really interesting
solemn trout
i could be… im one of those unlockable characters
that like, take a dogshit amount of effort and work to get
bright sun
Like how I grinded destiny 2 for a week and got over 300 drops of an SMG before I got the roll I wanted
Your the SMG that I was hunting for😭
bright sun
never thought i’d be characterized as an SMG lmfao😭im honored
😭😭😭
Well it took me a week to get so your rare 😭
bright sun
😭😭😭😭
solemn trout
gonna have to change the time date on your device to force the game into a seasonal event and buy me
bright sun
LMFAO
solemn trout
john the typa guy to ask to be bought 🥀
bright sun
I am too 😭
bright sun
😭😭
solemn trout
Not sure if im seeing this right or not
I dont mean to offend or say anything wrong but i think bodens got a gf now
If im wrong please tell me
Nvm
i looked further
thats nice.
congrats.
nice
Happy for you man
What if i just stop being nice.
Can’t believe im saying this
idk what im even saying
Im just tired
bright sun
idk what im even saying
solemn trout
from all this heartbreak
bright sun
solemn trout
bright sun
Itll be ok Johnny
solemn trout
i hope so
I trust you
so it’s official now I believe so.
most if not everyone in our gc has found love
Not said in a bad way
bright sun
so it’s official now I believe so.
most if not everyone in our gc has found love
It means that your time is coming
solemn trout
It means that your time is coming
it’s genuinely hard to believe that, but coming from you i think i do
I’ll just have to stay strong, for as long as it takes. Even if it’s forever, or never
solemn trout
Good night logan, I hope tomorrow will be good for you
solemn trout
tired
got my appointment to do soon
again
so ima be even more tired
why
why
why
why
why
why
why cant i just be happy for once
and have someone to love
like everyone else
im 19
never had ONE relationship
my chances at even a glance of an eye are almost zero
i don’t deserve any of this kindness
burnt snow
If this about me I’m really sorry my man
If it does end up going good
I’m still so young
And love comes at you when your not looking for it
burnt snow
Dawg you can be honest with me lol
I really care abt you
I don’t ever want to make you feel down
Like
Ever
solemn trout
im being honest, its not cus of you. Its just the fact that i know, generally, between everyone.
I just want to be someones anchor, someones rock.
and the only kind of people who actually care about me is my friends.
And yes. Im super thankful and i love them.
Its just not the same.
I havent been looking for love so long. And all I’ve gotten is less than nothing.
i dont even have someone to sweet talk or whatever, not even someone that possibly could be with me.
I feel like giving up on love.
And i feel like its giving up on me.
and being a gay man doesnt change anything
and boden
It really isn’t because of you
dont stress over it man
trust
burnt snow
I feel you
I really do
And if I was of age
And gay
I lowk think you would be the person I could fall for
Your such a talented and awesome
Person
And your still 19
So you have a looooooong time
solemn trout
.
great
i just found out my A1c is 8.5
and probably gonna keep increasing
i hope today will be good
also forget about everything i said earlier
i was being selfish
still at my appointment
but thanks boden, really
also going to the theatres later today so that’s pretty nice
tbh
i just need to stop complaining about love
I already have my answer and its that i just have to wait it out
so it’s about time where I just stop talking about it and deal with it
because itd take a miracle
and miracles don’t come easy
so stop bitchin and look past it
Seeya
solemn trout
Appointment over
sorry if I keep stressing you guys out
also found out i might have an adjustment disorder
might be given a therapist
but dont worry^^
things are good and things will get better
you have my word
ill get better
and ill help my friends get better too
solemn trout
The main thing with raising canes is just that they nail the chicken every time
with literal nails
solemn trout
aquaribium
solemn trout
The way he’s staring into the camera has me dying rn
burnt snow
HOLY FUCK LMAOOO
left parrot
Fishyyyy
solemn trout
fishayyy
solemn trout
i really hope they dont come back tonight
im getting this horrible feeling of dread
and i keep looking at things
like my tv looks off
my fan looks weird
i can’t explain any of it
i keep waiting for my door to open for some reason
like someones there
bright sun
solemn trout
<:chu_hug:1085839884801036338> <:chu_hug:1085839884801036338>
i cant tell if im starting to see things again or if im just tired
i know my music has an impact on things, but i wouldn’t believe it would cause anything bad
and fuck everythings light
lWtf
i feel better fsr
i honestly dont know
that was weird as fuck
bright sun
solemn trout
bright sun
Im sorry I didn't say more. M phone isn't charging
solemn trout
“Actually I agree stuffing myself w hotdogs with no judgement
whatsoever is fun”
-me
solemn trout
today feels like one of those days
where I just don’t know what to do at all
Like I can either go biking today or just lay around and do nothing
Im not drained of energy or whatever
I just don’t know what to do
im still in bed and I haven’t eaten anything yet
Bbgggghhhhhhhhh
what to do..
Hnmmmmm
bhhhhhnnnmmmnnmnnnmnn
This game isnt hitting
i could play gt7
or gta
Cyberpunk
Watch fogs
Helldivers
Monster hunters
Gang beasts
Castke crashers
so much more random shit
Not sure if i want to though
i could go back to sleep..
nah
wheres the spice in life right now
i promised myself i wouldnt drink
second time I’ve mentioned this
But i feel like a small fat dog that just ate a bunch of soup
without the soup part
Or the fat part
Or the dog part(maybe)
bbbbvhggfhfjfjdhzhhzgshfjgjgkgjjgk
solemn trout
lowk feeling like todays been in reverse
If that makes any sense
most all my friends are offline and ive just been feeling left out.
Not like forgotten or bad kind of left out, more like lost opportunity left out
maybe a bit of both, who knows
i gotta find something to do today
solemn trout
Gonna go mountain biking again
solemn trout
this hoodie looks actually very nice on me
something i got from my vacation.
3XL
VERY soft
literally swallows me whole
well
idk what to do in mainchat
bright sun
something i got from my vacation.
3XL
It must be nice to not have to spend a fortune on clothes because nothing fits you 😭
I wear 6XL
solemn trout
It must be nice to not have to spend a fortune on clothes because nothing fits y...
I spend a fortune on clothes just because they don’t fit me😭
bright sun
Bro I get clothes
Try them
Don't fit
Go up a size
Don't fit
Go up a size
DONT FIT 😭😭
solemn trout
thats why i always 3 point it and just go for the biggest they got😭😭
Like ik it wont fit me but who cares, the bigger it is the comfier. And eventually ill have something to sleep inside of
kinda weird seeing an almost 5 foot dude in a hoodie made for people 6’0”+
bright sun
I have to get everything from big and tall stores
It's SO EXPENSIVE
solemn trout
Zumiez is like the only shop i go to for clothes. My local one has like NO clothing medium or below
and shit gets expensive there too
bright sun
Dropping 100 bucks for one shirt and shipping 😭
solemn trout
its horrendous 😭 but honestly worth it
bright sun
Bro I need to special order my jackets and they're like 200 bucks 😭
solemn trout
owch😭
bright sun
All so I don't freeze in winter 😭
solemn trout
i do it purely because it makes me feel cute😭
:|
uhv gbhhnjhhv b.
v
again, already?
ykw im not even gonna
im over bitching about relationship stuff
Blue water
solemn trout
back to being lazy with my music
solemn trout
i just don’t know rn
solemn trout
stoppp
Stip
Stop
no
something just fucking yanked on my wrist
and now i feel cold
just stop
burnt snow
You okay dawg?
solemn trout
i dont know
burnt snow
Whats wrong?
solemn trout
im hoping its not happening again
bright sun
something just fucking yanked on my wrist
solemn trout
I really dont fuckin know how to explain but every time you guys show up everything gets better
Like everything just stops
im always reminded of you guys and everything else goes away
bright sun
im always reminded of you guys and everything else goes away
Ill always be here
solemn trout
bright sun
solemn trout
<:chu_hug:1085839884801036338> <:chu_hug:1085839884801036338> <:chu_hug:10858398...
idk how to feel, tonight could’ve just gotten real bad. But youre here and boden too, i dont know how to thank you enough
youre always so damn amazing, you know that?
bright sun
idk how to feel, tonight could’ve just gotten real bad. But youre here and boden...
I just want the best for you always johnny
solemn trout
I just want the best for you always johnny
sorry for the wait my blood sugars are getting up in the 400’s. Im getting it covered
Thank you logani want just the best, nothing less, all for you too. The best and so much more.
I don’t just want you to have the best, you are the best
and you deserve all of it
truly.
solemn trout
solemn trout
Idk
Why
i feel scared
im scared
i feel horrible
Logans tv just died
and I literally just got a new tv a couple days ago
i feel so selfish and self absorbed and horrible
I wish I could just give it him
I wish I could really be there for him. Give him the biggest hug ever in the world
Please stay safe Logan
god i wanna cry
this music is not helping
There it goes
Im fucking crying again
Im sorry
burnt snow
i just feel so pathetic
Why man?
solemn trout
I keep crying and panicking over everything
Small and unnecessary stuff
and i fucking hate that i live the way I am, economically
not in a poor way
i just hate that i have lots of wealth while my friends dont. I hate myself for that. I just want to give it all to them
it physically pains me knowing my friends struggle in life, that they’re things keep getting taken away and reduced.
I just want to give them the life they deserve, something like mine
And i wouldn’t hesitate a god damn second if i had the opportunity to give them everything I have
i think too much honestly
guhhh sorry for what i said earlier here, i get worried and spiral way to easily
But im feeling alot, ALOT better now
bright sun
But im feeling alot, ALOT better now
You're sensitive. But not on a bad way. You care Johnny. It's what make you, you
solemn trout
You're sensitive. But not on a bad way. You care Johnny. It's what make you, you
thank you so, so so fucking much. Youre the best person Ive ever met, you know that?
You’re truly irreplaceable
solemn trout
Nothing could ever take your place in my life, no one. Not even when I get a partner.
And im being serious when I say you’re the best person Ive ever met. Because you are. And I couldn’t think of anything, anyone else like you. You’re golden Logan, truly the greatest friend, and human i ever knew, and have
I wouldn’t wish for anything else
solemn trout
You’re always that for me, every single second of yours and my life. You’re amazing Logan, really really really really amazing
bright sun
Looks good too
solemn trout
ugh getting lazy again
feel so jealous and out of touch for no reason
there’s literally nothing to be jealous of?
and i also feel frustrated too
i dont know why
gahh my minds a mess in and out
Dont know how to feel about that, i dont exactly feel guilty or sad about it
other then that
i want to support this server and the community, alot. Because it, and the people in it matter so much to me.
Like, being a mod, community supporter, booster, whatever there is. But i dont think i can at all considering how sensitive i am, how easily I cry and leave, certain topics i clearly cannot be in, how busy i am everyday.
Id love to. But its just gonna be to the point where its just a role for me and not an actual responsibility.
Which actually sucks
and the still-childish part of me feels jealous that my friends are getting community supporter, and for some reason it feels like they matter more than me.
Which is clearly not the case, im damn aware were treated equally in this server
Its just an inside thought, and i hate that
ig i really am too sensitive
well im gonna go out
Some disc golfing to refresh myself
seeya
Ill be back!
bright sun
bright sun
solemn trout
^
I keep reminding myself everyday.
It keeps me going, even if Its just a couple of words
bright sun
Anything that keeps you going is good. Regardless of what it is
Always keep pushing Johnny
bright sun
Always
solemn trout
And forever
https://open.spotify.com/track/1IsOdvUcz8eoN1qgoNP1sC?si=nWx1VmklRcqSyMU9Zj0aSQ
loving this song so much
WesGhosts voice is so good
solemn trout
“Actually I agree stuffing myself w hotdogs with no judgement
whatsoever is fun”...
i second this
also just found oit i might have a slight lisp or something
like
when i say “sour”
it also comes out “sowowr”
i know im pronouncing the R right, i just don’t really understand why theres also a W
and why i say W twice😭?
cant get taht out of my head grahhhh
theres this new game
Mecha Break
“Mecha Brweak”
what the shitballs
IM SAYING THE ‘R’ FIRST. i dont know if thats even a lisp or just me
i don’t doubt theres one of those little tongue parasites that hide in fish’s mouth
i dont think i have a lisp
I dont exactly know why but i guess i have a “rhotacized glide”
i still dont know shit about it
but i seem to be blending in R and W together
like say the word ride
and i’d say it as “Rwide”
Or ruh-wy-d
But like no gap between the R and W
They mix together
and strangely enough it goes the opposite way
when i say Wide
It also ends up as “Wride”
what the fuck
lowkie good
[Verse idfk]
“Bitch I ain't depressed.
Yeah motherfucker I'll admit it that I'm stressed.
But l'm a boss, l'm a beast like I'm the best.
I'm bout to put all this other shit to rest.
Just gotta tell myself that I ain't that depressed”
vruh
this copy of armored core ass game literally crashed my pc first second i opened it
solemn trout
yo do not play mecha break😭
holy fucking shit theres so many women
gooner game
other then the cool ass fucking mechs
solemn trout
Absolutely LOVE being reminded about my lack of a relationship
Why do people always have to rub it in. Like it get it, you love them and they love you. Just please don’t make me feel bad that Im not like you
different server^
just stop pushing the stake in my heart any further
Ive had enough
I left the server
solemn trout
Absolutely LOVE being reminded about my lack of a relationship
Why do people al...
sometimes i feel like I deserve it.
But i don’t. I know I don’t.
There’s no reason to
Just forget it
i already said I was gonna stop complaining and i am right now
relationships come when you least expect it.
Yeah its cliche, but ‘true’
Im really hoping it is true.
I feel so left behind because of it.
Honestly, i couldn’t put my mind into someone else’s and imagine id want to be with someone like him
Ik it sounds harsh and probably not true, but that’s what I see. And it’s hard to imagine elsewhere
gggcffguhhhhhhhjjjj stop being so sensitive
vbbbvhghhhbbhbbbbhhjjnbbhj
Hhbbbvv
Why am I like this..
Blood sugars still not going down
Come onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
sigh
calm down
Omfg come on my blood sugars aren’t going down
Uurrfgggggg
stupid pancreas
tonight just blows
Just forget about my fucking problems. I don’t know if anything’s gonna fix them.
Im such a pussy
I just want to be happy and help others. That’s literally everything I could ever dream of
Idk why im even saying that
goodnight.
my eyes are getting dry
bright sun
my eyes are getting dry
solemn trout
Yo wtf new wesghost drop
Fire
fire
Fire
Fire
🗣️
Dude holy shit this is actually amazing
solemn trout
ima be honest
im exhausted of my loneliness
i know im desperate for love but im not that type of guy to beg or obsess over it
im just not
And i dont wanna
and like
i don’t really mind if the person is possessive or obsessive or whatever
anyone i can just spend time with is all i need in life
someone that can really bring out the happiness in my soul
and its exhausting but also exhilarating to see everyone else be happy with their partner
like
it makes me sad and forgotten and jealous. But it also sparks my confidence a bit, like the more i see a couple or the mentioning of love or relationship just makes me feel like. ‘Yeah, its gonna be one day, not just someday’
also ow i just sprained my neck somehow
Sometimes i wish i wasn’t emotionally mature
but i know people need me, and i need to stay strong in this way to keep holding them up
because i dont wanna lose them
at all.
Id rather die then lose my friends
yeah im a mess
But im not a mess everywhere
solemn trout
https://open.spotify.com/track/2YUrjNtdRSDVR35IBiyLlq?si=SkYT0ckyTv-ybtZWzn9alw
@burnt snow Just curious if you liked Wesghost when i showed you his album
He just dropped
you don’t have to listen to it
burnt snow
<@456226577798135808> Just curious if you liked Wesghost when i showed you his a...
Oh yeah. I loved him
solemn trout
happy to hearrr
burnt snow
I’ll give it a listen in a bit maybe
solemn trout
You don’t have to if you don’t wanna, just wanted to put it out there
burnt snow
You don’t have to if you don’t wanna, just wanted to put it out there
I lowk rly liked his shit
solemn trout
I lowk rly liked his shit
probably my top 3 of all time, and I’ve only listened to him for like two weeks
number 2 actually
burnt snow
probably my top 3 of all time, and I’ve only listened to him for like two weeks
Top 3 oat???
Respect dude
burnt snow
ghostface killa number three
You should listen to “new god flow”
By Kanye
I rly think you would like the ghost face killla
Bit
A fellow Kanye lover?
What are the oddss
burnt snow
A fellow Kanye lover?
Ive been trying to convert him but I respect his music taste
It’s rly good
He showed me this artist called “Wes ghost”
And I rly liked it
I should check it out yoo
I've heard of him I think but idk
solemn trout
yesss
burnt snow
He’s like rap/rock
solemn trout
hes amazing
burnt snow
And I fw it heavy
burnt snow
I lwk love maneskin
@solemn trout if you want to I think you’d like this, ghostface killa is featured in it https://open.spotify.com/track/2Fq5o2kLhNssLiRATRcPFT?si=wWKunb69TEul0MEBmnpQNQ&context=spotify%3Aplaylist%3A0jWEotRU18MkGGjSzJMnBZ
solemn trout
ooh
burnt snow
It’s obviously a little bit religious
solemn trout
Its on queue
burnt snow
Just fyi
burnt snow
Lmk what you think of it :3
And dw you can be honest
Yo John u ever heard ab maneskin
Or Metallica
solemn trout
both
burnt snow
I fw Damiano's Italian tbh
solemn trout
tbf its been quite a while since I’ve listened to maneskin
burnt snow
Oh John do you fw that chaotic feeling experimental music?
Cus I got an album if that’s the case
solemn trout
i fw any music
solemn trout
Also @burnt snow This song reminds me ALOT of this one guy
burnt snow
Yo I remembered now. John you were that guy that liked poemss
solemn trout
yesh
solemn trout
Mmmi dont, but i bet i could. Im really into storybuilding and im good with descriptions
burnt snow
If you ever make any feel free to show me
Wherever u wants like DMS journal idm
You seem chill
burnt snow
I'll be looking up to it!
solemn trout
@burnt snow Just curious what do you think of this song https://open.spotify.com/track/78IHcDFyjUpJLjcbsR8Yiu?si=gj_gF0bCSNeOa63NsVHyYw
beautiful music imo
solemn trout
J-Love is literally THE best guy out there
burnt snow
I’m tryna think of a Kanye song I think you would fw heavy
@solemn trout what type of sound do you fw the most
burnt snow
like, hypnotic and aggressive sounds
I got you
MAKE SURE TO TURN DOWN YOUR HEADPHONES
solemn trout
very 
music
burnt snow
R2-D2
burnt snow
solemn trout
Whatll happen if kanye goes one second without singing
solemn trout
burnt snow
https://open.spotify.com/track/3W3soSMaKBg4AIK8zfts2N?si=7CGY4nVcSGCoV5q6-9r1yA
MELLY MIKE??
I USED TO LISTEN TO HIM ALL THE TIME
Oh nvm
It’s not melly Mike
😔
I got to excited lol Mb
solemn trout
solemn trout
Added to queue
solemn trout
<@864240810304471040> give this a listen and lmk what you think of the beat
I like it
:3
solemn trout
bright sun
INHALE
solemn trout
BEEG INHALE
solemn trout
HOOTLL
yo i actually SCREAMED😭
I accidentally slammed my foot on my plate and i fucking screamed in fear
burnt snow
I screamed bc of my cat earlier. It's 3 am and everyone's asleep..
solemn trout
sometimes my cat does that too, he always like to walk all over my body and it startles the hell out of me
every once in a while he lays on my face
Hes like
26 pounds
hes a biiig boy
solemn trout
he doesnt react to pspspsps
But he does when you whistle
left parrot
he doesnt react to pspspsps
But he does when you whistle
He's like a horse
left parrot
always starts licking you right after tho
My cat likes belly rubs, but she grabs my hand if I stop
The endles cycle.....
solemn trout
mine does too, sometimes i just start playing drums with his belly and he just stares at me like what the fuck
left parrot
mine does too, sometimes i just start playing drums with his belly and he just s...
Silly cat
solemn trout
left parrot
O'd call your cat pip boy lmao
left parrot
😭😭😭
solemn trout
https://open.spotify.com/track/5DWDGEwKVCQzvp2gpf7L2k?si=NEWk0NObSeCfbPc-TjBjFw
this is really getting my feelings out rn
solemn trout
Can’t go to sleep
bright sun
Can’t go to sleep
solemn trout
Thoughts keep racing about stuff i already told myself not to worry about
ggyuhhhhhh its so hard to not think about
bright sun
ggyuhhhhhh its so hard to not think about
I get the feeling Johnny
You'll be ok
solemn trout
I get the feeling Johnny
You'll be ok<:chu_hug:1085839884801036338> <:chu_hug:10...
It’s the relationship stuff again, i just can’t keep out the possibilities of in my head. What my life could be like, what want, and what I need.
Its impossible to forget
But ill be ok, ill live, i just need to bare with it again
Thank youyou’re amazing
bright sun
It’s the relationship stuff again, i just can’t keep out the possibilities of in...
I understand. You'll get that boyfriend you want Johnny. We both know it. Everything will work out
solemn trout
I understand. You'll get that boyfriend you want Johnny. We both know it. Everyt...
I know it’s gonna be one day, not just someday
solemn trout
Id really like to talk more about this but its 3:16 am
youre amazing too logan, really, more than you can possibly imagine
Goodnight again my fren
Or ill try to sleep at least
still tho
Sweet dreams, and sleep softly :3
solemn trout
Love you too fren <33/p
rest easy
solemn trout
im starting to feel like one of the reasons why no one wants me is because im also asexual
but im unsure
Im just confused
so like
i dont mind joking around or being sarcastic about stuff(ykw)
But like, i guess in most people eyes a gay ace man is a heavy turn off for people. Like generally. Not just in sexual or romantic contexts
bright sun
i dont mind joking around or being sarcastic about stuff(ykw)
But like, i guess ...
I mean. Gay culture is inherently very sexual. It's difficult to find ace gay men tbh. You're pretty rare.
solemn trout
then thats most likely my problem
but i dont want to be someone im not
just for love
bright sun
Good. Don't be. Stay yourself. Just because you're rare doesn't mean there's no one who would love you
bright sun
then itll be harder for me. But i have no reason to stop
Never stop Johnny. I mean there's still plenty of people (like me) who date regardless of asexuality or not.
There's someone for you
bright sun
You'll find love. You deserve it
bright sun
I know so
solemn trout
thank you fren, youre amazing
bright sun
bright sun
Good
Please do and continue to
solemn trout
i will.
Youve shown me more then anyone has in my life/srs
and i trust you with my life for thatyoure the best Logan
bright sun
solemn trout
solemn trout
Got nothing better to do today so im bird watching my own birds
bright sun
You have turkeys!?
bright sun
John lore is deep
solemn trout
my knowledge is vast
Im like fnaf
without stupid fucking freddy bear
(Yeah i still have beef with him)
actually wait
more like warhammer lore..
solemn trout
I sink my teeth in you
Blood still dripping off my coffin
Why am I still wide awake?
I've been counting countless headstones
From the souls I couldn't tame
Been sinking my teeth down, the deeper they sink now
The more that I believe they're really falling in love
I won't let you bleed out
So please keep your screams down
'Cause baby you're the one I wanna hide from the sun
Deep down
Deeper than I ever should've, but I want another taste of your life
See now
You're the reason I'm addicted to the taste, but afraid of the bite
/lyr
God I just can’t get over this new song
So good
solemn trout
gv bvgffg bgv bbhghhhjjjhhhhhhbbbbbvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvbbbvbvvvvvvgvvvvvvvvvvvvv
lofty oracle
Hi
solemn trout
going mountain biking again soooooon :3
solemn trout
absorbed by the sun
lofty oracle
rest in peace
solemn trout
Im back
I feel super shitty
But i had a lot of fun
My blood sugars have been above 300 since i went biking
And they’re still above 300
And i was above 400 for like an hour
at one point
And holy shit its hot and humid
I didn’t realize it was 89😭
I also crashed twice and bashed up my shin
diiijhhhggvvvvbvvvvvvvgvvghchchchchxbdbdvdgv
bright sun
solemn trout
3 hour bike bbhuughhhgvv
And it just pisses me off that my blood sugars wont go down cause the more it is high the more likely i am to have a coma
and god its just horrible
cause when im high it gives off the effect of intoxication
like basically i get drunk
god
it actually makes me want to cry
My blood sugars are never normal. Never
And its so hard maintaining it
solemn trout
<:chu_hug:1085839884801036338> <:chu_hug:1085839884801036338> <:chu_hug:10858398...
ggvvhh im happy youre here
solemn trout
Im gonna try to work on my blood sugars more
for you Logan, because if i do end up getting hospitalized or go into a coma i wont be there for you
and i dont want you to be alone
bright sun
Do you're best Johnny
solemn trout
what i see everytime i open my phoner
minus the song
:P
Lowkey im not the kind of guy to fantasize about relationships
like yeah ive been heavily desperate for one, and still am. But im not the one to beg
its just weird..
like
fantasizing about what I would do with a partner and what they would do too(sfw)
but i just dont wanna do that
id rather sit in my room all day rather than play it all out in my head
i got all this.. love in my heart that i need to get out though, like, too much love
and sometimes it hurts having to keep it in
but you know me.
solemn trout
Dude fuckin hellyeah my legs are getting even bigger
mountain biking is paying off
I wonder how much more i can squat
I haven’t checked in a while
315 as of now
lofty oracle
🫂 
solemn trout
solemn trout
Just found out my legs are ticklish
when my dog licks my leg i like squirm everywhere
I hate itttt
Stop licking me
luckily i know no one who would dare lick my legs
im not for that kind of affection..
at least not my legs..
or anything below waist level
the rest? i dunno
perhaps
bright sun
the rest? i dunno
perhaps
Gentle romantic face licks
One of my weaknesses 
solemn trout
Gentle romantic face licks
One of my weaknesses <:neko_drunk:1156225551766401094...
i am yet to figure my weaknesses…
bright sun
I have manya weakness
solemn trout
i am yet to figure my weaknesses…<:neko_drunk:1156225551766401094>
DEFINITELY not leg licks
Unconventional as hell..
And also gross
bright sun
Many
Many
... Many
....... Many weaknesses
solemn trout
Many
Many
... Many
....... Many weaknesses
i must
Must
… must
…… must find out my own
bright sun
My weakness are horrid because my weaknesses aren't just kryptonite
They're kryptonite bullets
solemn trout
i wanna express my weaknesses poeticly but like, i dont like fantasizing
bright sun
Lmfao
Fair
solemn trout
but i can make a damn good scene out of it, im very into story building and i know how to give very…vivid. descriptions
bright sun
solemn trout
bright sun
If you haven't watched Arcane on Netflix istg go watch it
It's OST is perfection
solemn trout
I should rewatch it..
solemn trout
NEED that
solemn trout
dude just the possibility of a new arcane makes me hyped
bright sun
I've never watched a show that made me mad, happy and cry all in like twenty minutes 😭
solemn trout
REAL
bright sun
THAT BITCH
solemn trout
also for some reason this one time watching impractical jokers made me cry😭
idk what was up with me
solemn trout
THAT BITCH
who? :3
solemn trout
destroy
solemn trout
agreed
bright sun
Bro I've never been so mad once
bright sun
That betrayal sent me spiraling 😭
I didn't know what to think
All the characters who died that episode made me so sad and then THAT SHIT HAPPENED
solemn trout
like a punch to the gut right after a direct shot from a 10 gauge
I honestly couldn’t believe it, im skipping that episode next time i watch the show😭
bright sun
You can't tho
THE EMOTIONAL WEIGHT IS IMPORTANT
solemn trout
😭😭😭
Uhhhgghhhvvvv
I knowwww I just don’t wanna cry on my sandwich again
bright sun
Tears are worth it 😭😭
solemn trout
that sandwich wasnt😭
bright sun
Istg tho the entire show i was like "if Eko dies I'm quiting the show"
solemn trout
my favorite..
bright sun
SAME
solemn trout
bright sun
Eko was by far my favorite character
solemn trout
bright sun
The entire show is pure peak
solemn trout
in its pure and unbridling form
solemn trout
johnbaseball99 will come back soon
bright sun
@solemn trout
I thought you meant something completely different when you said that 😭
Not sfw 😭😭
solemn trout
wait which message 😭
solemn trout
I WOULDNT EVER
😭😭
LIKE
BROS DONT TANGLE IN THE ROSE
WERE JUST FRIENDS THROUGH AND THROUGH
bright sun
😭😭😭
I WAS SITTING HERE TAKING A DRINK OF MY TEA AND I SEE THAT AND IM LIKE
"THERE'S BETTER WAYS TO ASK AND DEFINITELY NOT IN PUBLIC" 😭😭😭😭😭😭
NEARLY CHOKED ON MY TEA
solemn trout
SORRY I ALMOST KILLED YOU😭😭😭😭”better ways to ask”
I DONT THINK WOULD ANYWAYS😭
IM CONFUSED TOO
bright sun
I KNOW YOU WOULDN'T
THATS WHY I WAS SO CAUGHT OFF GUARD 😭
solemn trout
AM I ALWAYS THAT UNPREDICTABLE 😭
bright sun
NOT NORMALLY BUT LIKE IM BOT EXACTLY SOBER RN AND I WAS LISTENING TO CERTAIN KINDS OF MUSIC AND I WAS DRINKING TEA AND IT JUST SEEMED SO WRONG 😭
MY EYES WIDENED
NEARLY CHOKED AND DID A SPIT TAKE
IM CRYING BRO 😭
solemn trout
IM TRYING TO LOOK AT THIS THROUGH YOUR POV
AND IM TRYING REALLY HARD NOT TO LAUGH😭😭😭😭
IM GLAD YOURE WHO YOU ARE. CAUSE I WOULD LEAVE INSTANTLY IF ANYTHING ELSE HAPPENED. NOPE
MY BRAIN HURTS
bright sun
ITS OK TO LAUGH IDM
I WAS SO FUCKING CONFUSED
LIKE YOUR ASEXUAL
AND MY FRIEND
AND IDK WHY IT DIDN'T IMMEDIATELY CLICK IN MY HEAD WHAT YOU MEANT 😭😭
AND I PHYSICALLY CANT OUTSIDE OF ONE PERSON WHO IM ALREADY WITH
solemn trout
I SHOULDVE WORDED IT DIFFERENTLY 😭😭
solemn trout
ILL TRY NOT TO MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE 😭😭
bright sun
ITS OK
ITS OK
ITS LIKE MAJORITY MY MISTAKE
AGAIN IM JOT EXACTLY SOBER 😭
solemn trout
DAWG IM GLAD IM SOBER RIGHT NOW😭
solemn trout
IM PUTTING THIS SCENARIO IN MY NOTES
bright sun
WHAT NOTES 😭
bright sun
WHAT KIND OF THINFS😭
bright sun
HOW DRUNK WERE YOU?
solemn trout
GATEKEEPING
bright sun
😭😭😭😭😭