fuck
#Johnnies mindscape wooooowww
solemn trout
Im crying
i just want to go back to sleep
i want them to be okay
I need them to be okay
im sorry
god
Why
…why
I
don’t know anymore
solemn trout
…
solemn trout
im helping them out
theyre really not doing okay
But im being there for them, im trying my best
i hate so much that he has to go through this. I hate it so so much
i just want to get rid of all his pain
I want to take it off his shoulders. I don’t care if it’ll weigh me down, i just want him to be happy
solemn trout
Under like 6 blankets watching Kentucky ballistics with a little snack and the AC on.
So tired after this week
I plan on story building
bright sun
Under like 6 blankets watching Kentucky ballistics with a little snack and the A...
KENTUCKY BALLISTICS IS SO BASED
bright sun
😭💅✨
solemn trout
Descc
Es
Ee
Need
so b
Now im sad
imw eu eill eo will shower
Drunk shower
Dru dn drhnk i
ddunk in the shiwer
Yeaha
Yea
Wood
Woof
Woof
:3
Zn
Bye
Shwoer
Shower
why canbt i just be happy with someonbe
bright sun
solemn trout
Likej
i dont even like thinking bbb s about it
i t ti it just makes me grieve and envy
wellk m
not really envy
like if something rrea allg really happens maybe ill have sonethinf i can actually smile about when i i wake uo and go to sleep
i shi r in
i smrwa really shouldnt be doibg this right now when shiweuh
showwring
solemn trout
<:chu_hug:1085839884801036338> <:chu_hug:1085839884801036338>
thanbk yiu Logan
Wow i do not handke achohhiok achohol very well
solemn trout
bright sun
solemn trout
Woeie
Wowie
So uh
I accidentally used body lotion thinking it was shampoo
Now my hair feels horrible
Great
Uugggghhhhhjjj
But like
I can’t really get it out since I like got it in real good
do not shower while drunk off your ass.
Or at least dont try to.
Who the fuck split the red sea in my journal
solemn trout
Me and some old buddies doin a little stuff for a client. Not done yet. Fuckin hell im tired
bright sun
i should put my face on it…
-# thats what he said
solemn trout
sir. Nows not the time to be relatable
bright sun
😭
bright sun
W
solemn trout
My ears and tail are kind of the pinnacle of masculinity
bright sun
My ears and tail are kind of the pinnacle of masculinity
Based
solemn trout
finished with my fuckin BASED ass furry shower(sponsored by MTV) uhhhhhhhhh
THATS IT THATS IT A ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOR THE GAY FURRY WHO DECIDED TO WASH THR CONCRETE OFF HIS HEAD AND HIS GAY ASS ANKLES.
And oh? Whats this… hes still single! Haaahha! Poor bastard.
NOW HE IMMEDIATELY LOOKED HIMSELF AT THE MIRROR AND??? stuck his unfortunately long tongue out in an UNBRIDLED RAGE
AND NOW THE FUCKIN MIRRORS BROKEN AUHHHHH
and plot twist??!!???? hes gonna get wasted! again!
while eating random fridge spawn and WRITING HIS WEIRD MULTIVERSAL STORY FEATURING uh DEADPOOL FOR SOME REASON
and freddy fazbear!!! Yeahhh ha. Im gonna kill him
bright sun
Be safe Johnny
solemn trout
FREDDY ILL GET YA AND YOUR STUPID COCK WIFE WITH A CARBOHYDRATE IN HER HAND
stupid stupid bear
solemn trout
Be safe Johnny
i will :3 promish
bright sun
Double promise?
solemn trout
quadruple
bright sun
solemn trout
this time i showered before i get drunk
so i dont end up drinking the fuckin conditioner
solemn trout
while eating random fridge spawn and WRITING HIS WEIRD MULTIVERSAL STORY FEATURI...
WHICH ALSO FOR SOME UNKNOWN REASON INVOLVES the damn Yautja race
solemn trout
<:chu_hug:1085839884801036338> <:chu_hug:1085839884801036338>
Forgot to ask but how are you doing:3
no pressure to respond if you dont wanna
just know i think and care about you ever day fren <3 /p
you’re important to me man
bright sun
Forgot to ask but how are you doing:3
I'm actually really good today.
solemn trout
I'm actually really good today.
Thats great!!! :3
happy to hear fren
im doing pretty good too, quite exhausted from today
bright sun
I'm glad to hear you're good. I think about you everyday too John
solemn trout
and still trying to care for my friend, theyre getting better by the day 
solemn trout
solemn trout
Me and some old buddies doin a little stuff for a client. Not done yet. Fuckin h...
Paid 200 for this 😭. We also did a sidewalk(right of the picture)
Sigh
im tired
Just
Unbridled tiredness
bright sun
solemn trout
BRO TGIS MF IN MARIO KART
SCREW YOU
TARGETING ME WITH FUCKIN RED SHELLS AND STAYING BEHIND ME
FUCK YU
BITCH
solemn trout
Woof:3
bright sun
Woof :3
solemn trout
Woof :3
solemn trout
Holy shut
Holllyy shit
I think my friend just got with another guy
hes saying hes been doing very well and plans on moving on from his breakup
im happy
imm actuallyy do fucking happy
solemn trout
I think my friend just got with another guy
And i know the guy too
i dont care if this reminds me how genuinely lonely i am. Im proud and happy for him, he found another and hes happy. thats all that matters
like i know i feel absolutely shit about myself and It’s hard to push down but im god damn relieved he found love again
like hes not lucky. He deserves love
he deserves this
bright sun
like i know i feel absolutely shit about myself and It’s hard to push down but i...
You'll find it too Johnny
You deserve it too :3
solemn trout
You'll find it too Johnny
You deserve it too :3
if im being really honest i find it hard to believe ill have any luck in finding someone. Everyone i know and have around me are taken and it subconsciously gaslights me into thinking ‘im around these people. Im never gonna be these people but i stay because id feel bad if i left’
I know ive gone over this quite alot, but it keeps punching a hole in my chest. Its hard to not think about it. Sometimes(most of the time) i see myself as a vessel for this kind of stuff. Ive always gived and never taken and ive been secretly wishing that someone would do the same for me
But its all just idk… my internal monologue. I hurts yeah, but i cant keep whining over this. Even if im clearly on the brink of losing it all, i gotta move on
bright sun
if im being really honest i find it hard to believe ill have any luck in finding...
You'll get there. You deserve love and absolutely will find it. I try to be the best for you to give you someone to fall onto if needed. And I'll continue to do that. You're an awesome and beautiful person. You'll find it. I know that's a fact
solemn trout
im just so tired of of surviving
I know im happy and all rn but generally i just put on a face when im in discord
i feel hollow
i feel fragile
I feel vulnerable
I feel unlovable(i am in a sense)
i feel frustrated
I feel jealous
I feel bad
I feel lonely
I feel stupid
I hate seeing the word boyfriend
i hate being alone
I hate being single
I hate having to look at my dm’s every 2 minutes expecting someone to be there
I despise those who rubbed their relationships in my face
I want someone to hug me
I want someone to kiss
I want someone to admire
I need someone who can help me when im breaking
I need someone to check on me when my blood sugars go fuck-all
i need someone to at least think about
I know some of what im saying isnt entirely true. But that’s just how it is.
i just want to have a reason to smile every day, and not just.. sit around, sleep, play games, make food and work.
Im scared if i ask anyone out again itll be more than just a fuck off and a finger in my face
Im scared of people.
Love is my weakness, i feel like a storm.
Im honestly ashamed of myself
This kind of quiet isn’t what suits me, not anymore
-# sorry.. thank yu Logan
this isn’t supposed to sound concerning.
Just the shit i lock up in the back of my head
ufghh
solemn trout
sorry if i seem like im ignoring your messages Logan.
But im gonna nap, im pretty fucking stressed rn and my gut hurts, i need to unscramble my mind and do something with all this mess
the more stressed i get the more i want to curl in on myself and isolate everything from this world. Ill be back soon!
bright sun
I'll see you soon Johnny
Love you man<33/p
solemn trout
Love you fren <3 /p
solemn trout
uuuyyyygggffdfghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhyyhhhhhhhhhhuuuuuuuuuuu
Im back from my nap
Still stressed out
im so tired
Thank you Logan. Thank you so fucking much for being here
youre my bestest friend ever. More of a friend than i could ever ask for.
I really dont deserve someone like you, but here i am. With you by my side. And im ever thankful for that more then i could ever put into words
https://open.spotify.com/artist/0kD8IT1CzF7js2XKM9lLLa?si=k7dqQQ8pQKO8wTuBQKunpQ
reminds me of sleep token alot. I love it
bright sun
Thank you Logan. Thank you so fucking much for being here<:chu_hug:1085839884801...
I adore you man. I ain't ever leaving
solemn trout
I adore you man. I ain't ever leaving
Im never leaving either
never
I wish you a good night:3 sleep well, and sweet dreams fren
autumn viper
Still stressed out
Hope you are feeling better today. you can try mindfulness (scientifically proven one with test and trails) for stress. It be helpful for you. Like defusion etc
solemn trout
Holy Fuck balls im tired
solemn trout
Falling in Reverse 🔥 🔥🔥🔥
solemn trout
You ok?
Yeah im okay, it doesnt hurt. Ill recover thankies
im still working so ill be back soon! In an hour im guessing
bright sun
im still working so ill be back soon! In an hour im guessing
Ok
Be safe and stay hydrated in this heat<33/p
solemn trout
ok
Cool
cool
another one of my friends got hooked up
cool
great
Awesome
fantastic
marvelous
Wonderous
good
ok
and people r being suggestive as fuck in this other server
some of the most unexpecting and uninteresting people have relationships and it confuses me
Not in a bad or rude way
Just confused
i hate seeing affection
bright sun
bright sun
Love you man <33/p
bright sun
W
solemn trout
today was rough, i can finally rest now oghhh
bright sun
Get some
It's well deserved
solemn trout
will do fren, promise
gotta treat my burn first tho
and a couple other injuries i got
bright sun
Definitely do that
solemn trout
you have my word, I’ll be okay, and Ill be here. If you need anything or just someone to talk to, let me know
solemn trout
burnt snow
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/880969310338703400/1386443023235285062/gl...
Yoooo that’s me
solemn trout
Hellyeah
solemn trout
marvelous. Just marvelous. I dont have any snacks or glucose tablets around me
Its blacked out cus this is technically ‘data’
gotta go run around for things to eat
I found a bottle of tablets
god
solemn trout
dinner in the process
all i can really do to kill of my boredom is talking here with my friends. Other than MTB but its raining outside so i cant unfortunately
bhhuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhghggghghghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh what do i even do
This song is really setting off my loneliness for some reason? It really doesn’t seem like it should
solemn trout
need a pocket 20mm anti-tank rifle
watch me completely fucking miss my shot and launch 20 feet backwards
if i somehow find a way to rapid fire it i think id actually start flying
buhhhhhhh
solemn trout
Laying on the table upside down rn pawing at the air rn
So bored
i need some weed omg
VvvghrbvvvsgshagfJhhhhx
one moment
actually im not gonna take it
i don’t feel like I should cus of my trip tomorrow
solemn trout
im actually fucking done withthis shit man
This stupid fucking server im in
people are assholes and keep rubbing there shit in my face that I don’t have
And thes muthrfuckers
Like 4 people already dm’d fucking gore
im fucking finished with this stupid dumb fucking dhit
fucking dumbasses
what the fuck does comfort even mean in my life anymore if people are just gonna do this shit over and iver
fucking god
bro i actually cannot deal with this
the fucking amount of 13 year olds in this server actually fucking ludicrous
bright sun
solemn trout
im okay fren
Just getting tired of things. Everything gets so good and happy and peaceful and then starts spiraling and gets so badly draining. And repeats. Its so overwhelming and hard to even keep track of what im doing in life
These last few weeks have been nothing but burdens for me and im trying so hard to stay together.
I barely even left the house today but once, barely even left my room. Didnt even turn on any lights inside or ate anything. Hhhghhgfffghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
I cant be like this is im going on vacation tomorrow
I dont even know
thank you Logan. Genuinely. Thank you x100000
bright sun
Hopefully this vacation is good for you. You deserve it. Time off and away. Some relaxation
Some genuine fun
solemn trout
ill try
i wanna take a brake from discord so bad but i cant
I have friends and sometimes they need my help. And im too caring to just leave them alone
bright sun
If you need a break you should take one
solemn trout
If you need a break you should take one
i really should but i just cant. Id feel really really bad if anything happened to my friends and i werent there to help them through it
and sometimes im dependent on their comfort. And sometimes they are too
bright sun
i really should but i just cant. Id feel really really bad if anything happened ...
I understand. Just be careful with your own mental health. You're just as Important. Especially to me
solemn trout
You have my word and my promise
youre one of the most important things i know in my life /p
ill be careful. Definitely
solemn trout
Its gonna rain hard tonight. Dont mind the yellow
God this beds so nice
I never want to leave it
Ever
solemn trout
the fucking amount of 13 year olds in this server actually fucking ludicrous
Sorry for complaining again
But it’s just so weird to me
The majority of the people in that server(s) are 16 and below. With either ‘femboy AND or something unnecessarily flirty.
And also. In a relationship.
Like im not being rude or anything but, what. How. Why. How? Even my friends, my close friends are now so suddenly and so easily finding relationships. I witness them form every single fucking day.
No matter what goes on in my life, past and future, its never honestly been fair to me. And i know life’s never fair.
Everything feels just so targeted to me. Like for some reason i was purposefully forgotten, staring out the window watching everyone else find happiness and love.
I’ve never even experienced a breakup
Never been told ‘I love you’ in an actual direct way that’s not just platonic
Never even considered
Always fucking ignored irl and online(not here)
Never even had a ‘metaphorical’ shoulder to cry on, and I likely won’t
Never even appreciated for my kindness and love and my efforts(again, not here).
its all a big fat mess.
Stupid fucking “femboys”
The god damn odd one out.
Im starting to feel like if i keep bitching over this petty ass, childish ass shit that I’ll legitimately start hating and refusing affection.
Sigh
Goodnight
I need a breather
solemn trout
solemn trout
dude
stupid fucking server
again
its just a big fucking chain of people kissing eachother
obnoxious gifs
literally no conversation or topic
god i want to rant to bad
but like
i dont like ranting
i hate having to show aggression
its not me
uggh
sorry if i keep being mentally consuming
ill stop
This is petty, selfish
solemn trout
I love it
https://open.spotify.com/album/5VFCZaivqUDRJq34ylEbt5?si=USsAN_ugSpmYo9sKLHiUMA
holy shit this album’s actually peak
Logan type music
Or whatever
fuck dude this shit is actually so good
GGFGHHJ
THIS SONG
OGH
HOT
SEXY
DOWN N DIRTY
bright sun
DOWN N DIRTY
What 😭
bright sun
WHAT 😭
bright sun
solemn trout
bright sun
RAHH
solemn trout
RAHHHH
OK
WAIT
THERES SLEEP TOKEN
PEAK
AND THERES ALSO SLEEP THEORY
EVEN PEAKER
im foaming at the mouth
vro give it a listen sometime its actually so good
solemn trout
😭BLEEBRNEVFFEFGGHHJJJJJ TONGUE OUT AND EVEYTHANG
I LOVE THIS BAND
bright sun
bright sun
SHUT UP 😭
solemn trout
BLAHH
OK BUHH
I GOTTA GO
TELL ME IF U LIKE IT OR SOMETHING
RAHHHHH
Holy fuck this song
Ok vro if sleep theory was a person
Dohhhhh
Gimme grabby
bright sun
NEVER
THATS ME
bright sun
YOU CANT TRADEMARK MY INVENTION
solemn trout
YES I CAN
solemn trout
I OWN 51% OF GAY
bright sun
INCORRECT
solemn trout
CORRECT
bright sun
I OWN 51%
solemn trout
HEY
bright sun
YOU'RE A SHAREHOLDER NOT THE OWNER
bright sun
NO IM GAYER
solemn trout
NO IM GAYER
bright sun
IM EVEN DRINKING RAINBOW TEA
WITH RAINBOW NECKLESS
OUT OF A STRAW SHAPED LIKE A MAN
bright sun
JOKES ON YOU
I LOVE SHOWERS :3
solemn trout
FUCK
IM FOING IT CUS IM GAYER
bright sun
NO
solemn trout
YES
solemn trout
solemn trout
We can be gay
✨💅***Together***💅✨
Fine.. whatever u say
solemn trout
bright sun
solemn trout
bright sun
Time to get drunk
:p
bright sun
Get your call set up
solemn trout
call
solemn trout
Time to get drunk
:p
stay safe man, always, have fun
bright sun
stay safe man, always, have fun <:huddleshibaheart:854758761830940672>
Always :3
solemn trout
solemn trout
Love you too fren <33 /p
solemn trout
But I brought redds:3
My favorite beer*
bright sun
W
solemn trout
Camping
Ugh
Stupid blue jay
Stupid fucking bird
keeps yelling for like an hour now
If i had the willpower i would actually throw a rock at it
Crazy snuggle spot
Think I brought too many pillows
bright sun
No such thing
solemn trout
need more pillows..
bright sun
MORE
solemn trout
more…………….
bright sun
MORE
solemn trout
every pillow ever made ever
neck pillow body pillow back pillow head pillow pillow pillow massaging pillow arm pillow leg pillow
bright sun
YES
solemn trout
body pillow
bright sun
Love body pillows
solemn trout
Id kill to have one, really. But one might be my worst enemy
bright sun
solemn trout
solemn trout
Id kill to have one, really. But one might be my worst enemy
both physically and emotionally
bright sun
solemn trout
Still trying
made no progress whatsoever
not expecting any for a while
now that i think about it ‘a while’ may be under exaggerated
bright sun
You'll get there man
solemn trout
horrible fucking timing someone just got fucking seduced in this other server
how do people even persist
solemn trout
You'll get there man
bright sun
I promise you will
solemn trout
i hope so, i really do
bright sun
i hope so, i really do
I know you will
solemn trout
fuck Sleep Theory just makes everything feel better 
thank you Logan. Really. Thank you for being here. Idk how i could stay stable without you man <33 /p
well.
now theres no replying in journals
solemn trout
This is the only server I have. And know. And its all spiraling again.
I ask to be muted even though i didnt do anything. And im clearly not.
Im being nice. Ive been as nice as ever since i joined this server. Please
this is the only server i can physically relive my stress in. I trust this server. And i really really dont want to start breaking any more.
I find it important that logan and boden respond to me because it helps me calm down and i find peace and comfort in it.
doing it in DM’s is a different story. Theres no subject to it. And its awkward
no other server i know, bot other mental health servers are good enough for me.
It hurts
If anything
Make a separate journal channel with specified replying. Ones allowed. With intent. And reason
this is my go
sorry
june’s been nothing but a pile of shit.
im struggling so hard to find love
im losing my sanity
Im losing my friends to love
Im being left out
Im being ignored
Im being teased and insulted
Ive LOST friends
im actively struggling with my mental and physical issues
i cry too easily
i cry so fucking easily
i cry because i always think about things
Im a bitch
im too soft
i have no where else to hide myself but here.
Ik it sounds like im overreacting, and i probably am.
I just want something real.
i dont know what to do
Threw my stupid expensive subway sandwich in the fucking campfire cus now im losing my appetite
smh
sigh
it hurts
if i don’t respond in 10 minutes ive cried myself to sleep
but hey. Before i go
Logan
i know you retain the right to get mad. Just please dont let it get too much, i need you to be safe. Please be safe, okay? You can still react in my journali know things are overwhelming rn and it sucks. But just please.
Stay safe for me
alr
Goodnight
10:50
ill be asleep if i dont respond
by the time
bright sun
ill be asleep if i dont respond
You're gonna be one happy gay man when you wake up my beautiful friend :3
burnt snow
You're gonna be one happy gay man when you wake up my beautiful friend :3
Indeed he will
Indeed
solemn trout
Hggghhuh good morning or something h
solemn trout
You're gonna be one happy gay man when you wake up my beautiful friend :3
Woa
theres vent channels now!
bright sun
Woa
We can reply in journals now
Vent journals are no reply
And we have vent channels
Things look like they're get better
solemn trout
Thats great just what I needed to hear
Exactly what I needed to hear after crying myself to sleep
Im smiling so much rn
bright sun
Nothing is taking me away man
Never
burnt snow
We can reply in journals now
Vent journals are no reply
And we have vent channel...
No there are tags
So if you would like you can get responses
bright sun
solemn trout
Nothing is taking me away man
Never <:chu_hug:1085839884801036338>
Tonight’s peaceful
Thank Logan and boden
Really
Thank you so much
burnt snow
That looks so nice
solemn trout
horrible sleep
Horrible fucking sledp
This cot is shit
And i woke up seeing “Omg hi bb boy. Come here
Daily kiss tax”
What the fuck is discord even worth.
My morning is immediately ruined.
Fuck this shit
fuck this shit
fuck it
all of it
BULLSHIT FUCKING SERVER
Ive already been ignored 4 times and i just woke up like 10 minutes ago
im actually done with all this
i cant keep being a bitch over it
Ill be offline for a while.
i don’t know when im getting back on but i promise I will
everything hurts
solemn trout
Im back
i needed a refresher
im okay. Im actually alot better
sorry if i made you worry
I hope your okay Logan
i also ended changing my username, johnbaseball99 just isnt a welcoming name
its just the name of my oc but whatever
bright sun
I hope your okay Logan<:chu_hug:1085839884801036338>
Dw Johnny I'm ok. Glad you're better. I just took three hour long nap so I'm feeling better too
solemn trout
Dw Johnny I'm ok. Glad you're better. I just took three hour long nap so I'm fee...
HIIIHI hi sorry i didn’t respond. I was on tour rn😭im on vacay
Im happy your feeling better fren, im actually so happy
bright sun
bright sun
Yas
bright sun
So beautiful
bright sun
You as well
solemn trout
logan headcanon: points at people and screams when hes excited
but only when he is given beer
sometimes only..
bright sun
logan headcanon: points at people and screams when hes excited
Truw
solemn trout
True.. true man morgan man freedom Morgan freeman with his fonger up
burnt snow
True.. true man morgan man freedom Morgan freeman with his fonger up
Do you smell burnt toast?
Are you having a stroke?
Johnny please
solemn trout
@burnt snow @bright sun
burnt snow
<@456226577798135808> <@744897081130614925>
bright sun
<@456226577798135808> <@744897081130614925>
solemn trout
Nummies
solemn trout
Oops.
solemn trout
If im being honest
i have no clue if i have even a sliver of adhd
Or any of that stuff
Found this weird mixup in my gallery
My fursona and also fucking sportacus😭😭
WHY DOES IT LINE UP
bright sun
solemn trout
fsr i can feel my heart in my throat
I got like no sleep tho
So that’s probably why
Or not
I keep falling asleep and waking up
Like rapidly
I wish i could be innocent again
I wish all my friends could just live without a care in the world
Free and happy
If there was the opportunity to do for them
That id have to sell my soul to the devil for that to happen
I would do it
I would
I would legitimately burn in hell so everyone I love can live peacefully and happily
And I say this with my soul
My heart
And my being
I just want nothing more than for my friends to live their lives
Unbridled and beautiful
God my back is destroyed
No wonder i got no sleep
Literally blown out
solemn trout
I just want nothing more than for my friends to live their lives
Unbridled and b...
especially Logans
and bodens
solemn trout
So
i had this weird fucking dream
and fsr it was with logan😭
SO
THIS IS HOW IT WENT
me and logan were buying tv’s😭
logan pointed to an oven and stole a tv
He then ran out of the store with me and with the tv in his arms.
We tripped and fell in sync and IMMEDIATELY reappeared in some prison.
Logan was gone. I was brought into a prison cell.
Logan was not there, i went into the cell and circled around a couple times like “there is a toilet there is a toilet there is a toilet”
Then logan appeared.
And right on his shirt was a badge that said: “LOGAN: conversational information: gay furry guy, cuddle monster, will punch you”
then i grabbed the prison bars and walked out of the cell and fucking clipped through the wall
the end.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED
WHAT
WHAT
WHAT😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Like im not tryna be weird😭
Im just saying EXACTLY how the dream played out
DONT BLAME ME FOR ANYTHING
IM UNPREDICTABLE
bright sun
😭
solemn trout
I REPEAT i was NOT high
😭
Whole ass sitcom episode
SMOSH DREAM
WHY DOES EVERYTHING WEIRD THAT HAPPENS IN MY LIFE ALWAYS REMIND ME OF SMOSH
solemn trout
been listening to this for the last couple of hours
full volume and full bass
🔥
feels so fucking good
solemn trout
this is the first time in a while that i got genuinely angry
sorry
im gonna go now
sorry logan
sorry if any of this triggers anything
bright sun
sorry if any of this triggers anything
It doesn't
I'm just worried about you
solemn trout
@bright sun im doing okay. I just needed a breather. I got upset. I rarely get this angry, i hate myself because of it. Its just not me, thats not who I am
Sorry for making you worry, im really sorry. I hope you’re doing okay fren
Im sorry
Im really really sorry
Im sorry for acting this way
Im sorry for getting angry
Im sorry for being like this
Im sorry for what i said
im sorry for being petty
please stay safe logan
please be okay
Please
God I feel so fucking guilty
Im sorry
Im sorry If i made you do anything bad
solemn trout
I just wanna forget this ever happened
Lets just forget this
And restart
But happier!
i apologize if i ended up pushing you away
but thank you
Thank you for still being here
thank you so fucking much
bright sun
i apologize if i ended up pushing you away
You didn't. Trust me. Nothing you do could push me away man
solemn trout
Im so, unbelievably thankful to have you
thank you so much
youre the best
the actual. ACTUAL best
Nothing you do will ever push me away either
i hope you’re doing okay fren, and your cats. I wish you the best, nothing less.
No words can ever express my gratitude for you, youre amazing
bright sun
I'm ok. Promise. I just hope you are too
solemn trout
ok, i trust you manim doing okay too
I hope tomorrow’s better for you, even if its just a tiny bit.
You deserve to be stress free
im happy youre okay
bright sun
I am gonna drink tonight. Last day of pride. So I'm gonna have fun.
solemn trout
that sounds great!! I hope you have lots of fun fren.
Stay safe, please. And go wild
also. My accounts okay
Thankfully nothing bads gonna happen
uggfhj man i have an appointment tomorrow
right in the morning, blud work. Im gonna be so tired the whole rest of the day
shit
i thought june had a 31st
..
oh..
i forgot
-# oh..
solemn trout
What?
Sorry I took so long I went to take a shower
its okay, shower’s important
i just realized today was the last day of pride. Today kinda went down this whole bad spiral and i forgot to celebrate. I had something nice planned to do but i dont think I can now
bright sun
Ofc
Id never leave you
solemn trout
im relieved to hear I really needed to hear that, ive been thinking about what i said earlier and i thought that ruined our friendship.
Thank you for still being here for me, thank you for seeing me and actually caring.
Thank you for being my friend
Youre a special kind of soul, you are a true blessing. In flesh and in spirit /p
bright sun
I'm always gonna be here
I see you for you. Not mistakes or anything else. Just your kind and selfless heart
solemn trout
I'm always gonna be here
I see you for you. Not mistakes or anything else. Just ...
youre the actual, truthfully, the best person in my life <3 /p
and likewise fren, im always beside you. Even when im gone. Im still hoping and thinking of you everyday/p
bright sun
I just hope you're ok. Today has really sucked for you and I hope it's gotten a little better
solemn trout
it has gotten betterthank you again. And again and again and again, 1 million times if I have to
I wish tonight will be fun for you, and may the morning treat you well. Because ill be right there. For as long as you need me
bright sun
Thank you Johnny
I'm glad it's gotten better. I care the world for you and it's all I want for you<3/p
solemn trout
i do for you too Logan<3/p
you matter to me, so much like actual family. Like the brother I never i had. And im damn sure of it, youre the best person I know, in my life
and i would never, NEVER let anything change that
Not unless you want it to. Because fren. I would do anything for your happiness. You deserve it so much.
I would take every ounce of stress and pain off your shoulders if i could
bright sun
All I want from you is what you already do. Kindness and comfort
solemn trout
and ill never stop giving
you deserve it
bright sun
I'll give all I can back. Because you deserve it too
solemn trout
Crazy little fuckin guys i got from vacay
Idk why i got them but hellyeah
also my frackin’ eyeball
solemn trout
if im bring truly honest
i have a somewhat wealthy life
and really
i would give it all to logan
Im not kidding
he deserves it, so so much. More then i do
i mean it.
my money. My happiness. My house. My sanity. My life.
Any of it. All of it.
If it was possible. I would give it all to him in a heartbeat. Even if it were just a sliver. Logan deserves to be treated kindly. Logan deserves his safety, his boyfriend’s, and his familys. Logan deserves it all.
Idc what anyone says about it, if they think im just saying this to make him feel better.
Genuinely. I would. If i could.
It physically pains me knowing my best friend is in so much pain and carrying so much weight
I love you man/p
more then anything
Logan. You dont just deserve it. You need it.
And if I could bend the fabric of reality i would give it all to you. Regardless of what happens to me.
It would be my eternal gift
I would give you my very existence just to ease yours
bright sun
I am. So fucking sunburnt
What happened 😭
solemn trout
What happened 😭
my vacation😭i was shirtless for like a couple hours outside setting up my campsite and it was like in the 90s
and hella yumidty
Humidty
Hunidity
humidity
solemn trout
i think it was like 80% hunidtuy
hunidtyu
hunidity
HUNDIIFG
hunidity
ONG
OMG
solemn trout
I just wanna live in a snow hut
Literally eat snow
Sleep in snow
Be snos
snoe
nsow
Snai
SNOW
bright sun
Do you need help from someone who has dyslexia Johnny
solemn trout
im jsut feeling al little drowsy
They ended up taking quite alot of blood fsr earlier today
bright sun
solemn trout
Had to try again since they weren’t successful with getting my a1c at first
So they trued again
Like
6, or 7 viles or something I forgot
bright sun
Jesus Christ
solemn trout
<:hugs:992823004532842516>
bright sun
I have such a horrid fear of needles
I would never be able to that
solemn trout
somehow i dont have a fear of needles
I totally seem like the type of guy to
bright sun
I'm so bad with it
I almost have a panic attack everytime I go get a shot or something
solemn trout
sometimes i wish i was because it feels like a privilege somehow😭
bright sun
I need to get my blood drawn after my birthday and I'm so scared 😭
bright sun
It's so odd because I'm a really big guy who's not afraid of pain
But needles and insects terrify me 😭
I've literally stabbed myself (on accident) and fallen down hills and off trees and off roofs and I've crashed and flown off a four wheeler and just walked it off.
But needles and insects I just can't 😭
solemn trout
some people just are unsettled by certain things. Its natural and common, its what makes you you, it one of many reasons that makes you recognizable :3
Like im a registered recreational scuba diver and im afraid of deep water
bright sun
Ok tbf
How the fuck do you even get registered as a scuba diver and have a fear of deep water
That just perplexes me 😭
solemn trout
I honestly dont know either😭i had a phase
i was trained in shallow water(like 22 feet or sum)
This was years ago and tbh. I cried my ASS off in public like 4 times because i was afraid
I was like
15😭
AND MAN
bright sun
😭😭
solemn trout
i would cry again😭
Just not in public this time
bright sun
I'd rather get shot in a drive by then cry in public again 😭
solemn trout
its so humiliating😭i jus wanna suck up my fallen tears into a vile and put em back into my eyeball.
Or however that metaphor works
Actually scratch that
bright sun
I feel you 😭
Like that scene from cloudy with a chance of meatballs where the cop sucks the tear back up 😭
solemn trout
im trying to remember that scene but the only thing that’s appearing in my mind is just a massive floating hyper realistic meatball
😭
like idk why im hyper focusing in it but thats all that comes to mind from “cloudy and a chance of meatball”
bright sun
LMFAOOO
bright sun
You have a racing sim rig
This John lore is too much 😭
solemn trout
fine…
when i was born, at a very young age. And…
the end!
im like one of those books that are magically enclosed and full of dark grim and unholy magic
solemn trout
furry necromicon😭
“open my pages and you will find unspeakable things
My covers are fluffy and what not.
Read my pages, im so fucking gay!!”
bright sun
😭😭😭
solemn trout
IM LIKE THAT HAT FROM HARRY POTTER
BUT I DECIDE HOW GAY YOU ARE BASED ON YOUR HOMO’NESS
bright sun
😭😭😭😭
"you like femboys.... You're like 90% straight... Oh you like the boy part too? 90% gay"
solemn trout
“Oh but you like the fem part? You like women dont you. 1% reduced gay”
bright sun
😭
bright sun
"you like big muscles do you? SEND HIM TO THE RAINBOW OFFICE. IT'S TOO MUCH EVEN FOR ME"
solemn trout
“i see… you like to use big burly chests as pillows. And oh? You like mario kart. DEPORTING YOU TO RAINBOW ROAD. SAY HI TO BOWSER FOR ME”
solemn trout
“AND MAKE HIM GET HIT BY A BLUE SHELL EVERY 20 SECONDS. THATS A GOOD THING”
bright sun
😭
The PTSD
😭
NOT THE BLUE SHELL
Blue shell
Red shell
Lightning
Bullet bill
Red shell
Last place
Then you accidentally drive off the map because you were too busy crying
bright sun
😭😭
solemn trout
AND OCCASIONALLY YIUR OWN FUCKING BOMBA
bright sun
😭
bright sun
:3
solemn trout
:3
solemn trout
Buying this🔥 soon
Actual peak pants
Ogh holy fuck im so full
this steak soup is hitting the spot
solemn trout
Today’s outfit:3
god i need a bf so bad
I feel insane for how needy i feel about it, it honestly makes my stomach churn
Im yet to experience it. Yet to experience a breakup, calling them, sleeping to their voice and their presence. Etc. etc. blllhhhhhgggggghjjjj
This sucks
solemn trout
Sometimes i just feel unlovable
Like im too much or too little.
I know for a fact Ive never been considered. Not irl, not online.
Ik there is still the possibility of it, that it could happen. But it feels so slow and long, like the walls around me keep closing in.
I’ll just have to be patient. Probably more patient than I can handle
The reason why i always avoid myself around any form of affection is because of my jealousy. Sometimes i gets envious. And rarely do I obsess over needing affection, tho i have.
Ik damn well there’s someone out there who will actually accept me. It’s just that I have to wait for it.
Waiting for something I need, something im so desperate for is not what Im particularly good at
bright sun
You have the mindset tho. You know there'll be someone. Because you're fucking awesome and amazing. You'll get one. Promise with all my heart
solemn trout
solemn trout
You have the mindset tho. You know there'll be someone. Because you're fucking a...
I trust, and I believe you. I believe it’ll happen one day. Its just hard to accept that likely no ones ever considered me yet.
But thank you thank you really. So so much. You’re amazing Logan
solemn trout
burnt snow
https://tenor.com/view/fox-cute-fox-fox-pet-petting-fox-happy-fox-gif-1629566073...
It looks so soft
solemn trout
yesh
solemn trout
sometimes(all the time) i always feel so bad about rejecting someones offer. Like if they offered me to hop in their car and go get jimmy johns, i would feel really guilty about saying “no thanks.” Instead of something like, “is it okay if i dont?”
I get i can be a very soft person. When i was still with my parents they always demanded. Like i dont wanna cause anything or just be straight up bold
Its pretty weird
speaking of family stuff
i was also taught at a young age that i didn’t deserve affection until i was 18?
I still dont know whats up with that
wether they still hold that or not
Not that i follow that “teaching”
I sorta do.
But not really, i guess now that im over ‘18’ now that im worthy of it. According to them
It confuses me
like
why doesn’t it feel magically better now
Not really an answerable question
more of a statement
I feel so bad for some reason
I don’t know what i did
i would say its a feeling of dread. But not really. I don’t want to people worry
Just stressed
i don’t know if im having a panic attack or whatever
im trying not to hyperfocus, i feel more aware of my surroundings, i can feel my sinuses burn and tighten
and this drop in my stomach
Back at it again with my harrowing relationship struggles
cool.
Almost like no matter how much support i get, it always just clings back onto me
maybe ill just have to stop caring about it
mmphhh. Ggggghhhjj
well i got jimmy johns so thats good
bright sun
Sandwich helped
solemn trout
<:chu_hug:1085839884801036338>
bright sun
Always here for you Johnny
I'm glad you feel better
solemn trout
thank you fren, i just hope you’re feeling better too
Im always here for you Logan, always
bright sun
bright sun
They got the fuckin Red guy from Combat Gods
Based reference to a based af video
solemn trout
Based reference to a based af video
Actual peak
Im so good playing as him
steam workshop does wonders
and oh my fucking god theres so many furries
bright sun
Furry combat gods
I must figure out how to make this happen
solemn trout
you can play as a fridge
Waluigi
That mario piss meme
literally god
The actual fucking sun
theres so many options 😭
bright sun
you can play as a fridge
Waluigi
That mario piss meme
literally god
The actual f...
A FRIDGE 😭
bright sun
A GAY FRIDGE
solemn trout
solemn trout
SORRY IM GETTING BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF BY A SUITCASE HOLD ON😭
bright sun
IM CRYING 😭
bright sun
IS THAT CAT GOD FROM BATTLE CATS 😭😭😭😭
solemn trout
IT IS😭😭
bright sun
I FUCNING CANR 😭
solemn trout
I CAN ALSO PLAY AS JERMA
A LITERAL PIXEL
A DODGE CHARGER
MR MONOPOLY
VEGETA
GANGSTER MARIO
THE DUANE
A ROLL OF TAPE
V1 ULTRAKILL
MASTER SHAKE
RONALD MCDONALD
BRIAN GRIFFIN(but faze)
HELLDIVER
UNO CARD
ANNOYING ORANGE
A TRUCK
THE SCRIPULOUS FINGER
PURPLE GUY
A DOOR
FREDDY FAZBEAR
A CHEESE WHEEL
AN OFFICE CHAIR
GOJO
A TWENTY TON LIMESTONE BLOCK
A CHESSPIECE
CHATGPT TOO
AND THERES SO MUCH MORE😭😭
solemn trout
YEAH AND YOU CANT EVEN MOVE😭😭
bright sun
YOU CANT MOVE 😭
bright sun
WALTER
bright sun
😭😭
solemn trout
i got my ass beat but i won
😭😭
fucking peabody sherman in the backround wtf😭 😭
wtf am i downloading
😭
solemn trout
FUCK YES
I WON
I WON AGAINST SQUIGLY
I cant keep playing this game man😭
im rotting
just like ssbu but lile 10000x better
hmmmmmmmm what should i play
oh neat
clovers got someone too
And they seem obsessive by his description
uh
congrats ig
“3 days into summer camp” and that literally just happened
lucky
so fucking lucky
“4 or 5 people who like me”
There’s actually no way
There’s something fucking wrong with me if this is actually happening
or its just random luck
5 people suddenly like you when 5 people literally threw me away
what kind of coincidence is this
sorry to suddenly switch up the mood
Im just genuinely confused