#uzarts figurative realm

1 messages · Page 3 of 1

digital bay
#

I need to sleep ts off

digital bay
#

I saw her again

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In my dreams

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Silent

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We didn't speak

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She was just out of reach

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Why?

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Does this mean anything?

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Is she the one?

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Why has she been on my mind for so long

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So many damn years

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An estimate of 12 years on my mind

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They say that she is pretty

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And sweet

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I hope to see her one day

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I did though

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I glanced at her once this year at some event

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She was with a friend

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But she was beautiful

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The fair lady in my dreams

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Barely in reach

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I barely know her anymore but still she stays on my mind

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When we were younger she gave me a letter

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I lost it

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We would walk hand in hand sometimes

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As children

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When I was older I would try to finish class early to get a glimpse of her as she left

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Maybe I'm just creepy

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Or I'm in love

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Or I'm a fool

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Either way

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I keep seeing her

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Once I dreamt of her.

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It was different

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We were hand in hand

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And going into a masjid

digital bay
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Dry ass phone

digital bay
#

I'm tripping balls right?

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My phone ain't always supposed to be full of texts right?

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My friends are just busy right?

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Cus

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I went to the mall today

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Struggling along

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Cus my legs were aching like a bitch

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Called up three friends

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Non answered

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Got my haircut

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Then I finally called my friend who spoke to me as I hauled it back home

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Why do I feel lonely?

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What the fuck is up with that

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Surely

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Surely people have it worse than me

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Right?

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I fucking hate myself

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FUCK

#

I am a 16 year old loser

digital bay
#

The toll is to be full filled

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Every cut is a reminder

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Of how pathetic

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And weak

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And useless I am

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I cut too deep

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I won't die

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But theres quite the lot of blood

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There's blood on my hands

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Good god there's blood on my hands

digital bay
#

I'm tired man

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I'm fucking tired

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Anyways

#

I'm off to sleep

#

Ig

digital bay
#

I like the rain

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Lonely

digital bay
#

I wrote something bad

digital bay
#

We live in an age where loyalty is fickle

digital bay
#

I don't think my friends fw me anymore

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I'm too judgemental

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and I act like an expert on relationships despite not being in one

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Yup

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Imma put some distance

digital bay
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still not really happy

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I want my bike

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It feels like freedom

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going out and riding without a care in the world

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the best part is the rush on a steep down hill

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wind in your hair

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music blaring

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I like it

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I'm still fat

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The camera makes everything look worse

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Teenage love seems like a scam

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I've talked about it a lot

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but

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I crave it

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I wanna be loved by another women

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But I'm here

#

so

#

yeah

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I don't feel okay

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i have no purpose

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no

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I have some faint image of a purpose

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but now

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there's nothing

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I am away from god

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I am a blind man walking a dark path

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I am weak

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I succumb to my carnal desires

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I am lazy

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wrathful

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disrespectful

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under the sarcastic jerk or the maybe funny, timid and shy boy may be something ugly

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I am an ugly person

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I am manifesting ugliness

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i think about my death at the hands of myself

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I wrote that putrid piece on myself

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I sit in a seat

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in an empty room

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typing

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i feel

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lonely

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I still remember my last appointment with the therapist

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promising to return when my exams concluded

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I never did

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It was just a few weeks of therapy

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I know not of its quality

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There were just words

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I didn't need words

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I NEEDED A VOICE

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I WANTED MY VOICE TO BE HEARD

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Not to drone on about jargon for 20 minutes while not sticking to the times given

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ffs

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I just want to talk a

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about me

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how im not fucking okay

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im not happy

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therapy never FUCKINGG WORK

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I cut myself

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I still waste myself

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I still feel alone

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I don't have a fucking clue about what im doing from day to day

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i dont feel happy

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what the fuck do I do

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maybe its my fault

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maybe I dug this pit to wollow in

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because most of it is

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its my fault

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but then i have no right to say so because that would mean that I'm "feeling sorry for myself"

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I dont know what to fucking do

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what do I do

#

what

#

jjjdjdjj

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FUCK

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I want to go back to therapy

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i seem to be manifesting misery

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I pray that it doesn't lead to my death

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strange

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I tallied without a need

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I shut the computer

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picked the blade up and made some shallow gashes

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hmmm

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I wonder if they pay back my tally or this is a new development

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I guess this is the new chapter of self harm

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and that razor is mighty effective in ushering me in

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I don't know if i'm depressed or anxious

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prefer not to label myself

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But it was weird when my mother stalked my reposts

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then comes to me point blank in the morning at breakfast and asks me in front of my father, "aRe U dEpResed?"

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like wtf

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almost seemed to be mocking or accusatory

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I didn't like it

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especially when she goes on about the issues of mental health

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and I don't bring that shit up with my father

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he's more reserved about it

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and was against me getting therapy

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I swear

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one day i'll crack

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I've held my tongue

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a lot

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one day

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it will come crashing down

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what?

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I will swear them all bluemurder?

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anyways

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one day I'll crash out on them all.

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anyways

#

gn

digital bay
digital bay
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It happened

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It fucking happened

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I remember it

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I remember that night

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"I'll scream"

"Then I'll never talk to you again"

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I remember it

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I FUCKING REMEMBER IT

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FUCK

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FUCK

#

I've had it locked away

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But now I remember it

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What the fuck

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I'm so close to you

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But you did that

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Why?

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Why?

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Fuck you

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For that

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Fuck you

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I'll be nice to you

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But I'll resent you for it

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You fucking prick

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I still remember it

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I still remember

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You bitch

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You fucking did that to me

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Why did you do that

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Why

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Why?

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Huh?

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We were kids

digital bay
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Let's see

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I did that

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And that

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And then sat on my phone till 3qm

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This is very healthy 👍

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Fuck my life

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Time to gym

digital bay
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Decent workout

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I might not really gel with the whole mentzer plan but I can integrate and work it into my routine

digital bay
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I'm a fucking waste of space, time and money

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Maybe I'll end it to spare everyone the trouble

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I just need some pills

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I am a waste

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That report is going to come out and then they will all see how much of a fuck up I am

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I am a fuck up and a waste

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Maybe that writing will come. True

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Maybe

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Maybe the last thing they'd need to waste money on would be my funeral

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Or make me disappear

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Let me ruin myself without needing to be everyone else's problem

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Yeah

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Disappear

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Or maybe I'm being dramatic

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It's performative

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So that I can get sympathy points

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I'm a dumbass

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A stupid dumbass

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I'm a fuck up

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I'm a fuck up

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And I am filth

digital bay
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call me an asshole

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maybe I don't understand

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But why do my friends always cancel on me?

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wtd

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wtf

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At this point i'm just going to have coffee by myself

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I'm forcing it

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I ain't got nothing better to do so i but in with everyones life

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she'll be okay

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he is fine

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I am okay

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everything is fine

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Also I think I soured shit with jason

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mb twin

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or maybe he's just busy

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I've been judgemental

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god

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what do I do

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they don't need to pitch up

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it's okay

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they have lives

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I should like such a fucking cornball

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Fuck it

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what the fuck must i do

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not my place to clean up their lives

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they are responsible for themselves

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they wanna not show up

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fuck em

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they're busy

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I'm getting a job

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fuck it

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I just have me

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and my online life

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i'm fine

digital bay
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I give up

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I give up

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I'll be fine by myself

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Less stress

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I'll bitchfit to myself about my problems

digital bay
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Fuck em

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You're pathetic

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You are pathetic

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Inconsiderate

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You're so fucking inconsiderate and rude

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Attention seeker

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"Oh, nobody wants to hand out with me. Let me cut myself and sob like a bitch go make it all feel better"

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You fucking prick

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Go to sleep

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They have lives

#

Move on

digital bay
#

.

#

He knows now. I think it hurt him to see this.

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I apologize

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It's better that you saw this now

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It's better that I came clean and acknowledged that thing up there

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Just tell no one

digital bay
#

No one must know

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Not yet

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Unmotivated

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Hm

#

If we are to grow in the gym them we must do high intensity

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High intensity and commitment to the exercise

digital bay
#

It was quite a day

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and i was tired

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so I laid in my bed

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and

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I looked over as the rain came down gentle and I reach for the pillow

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and hugged it

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I imagined her

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but the memory foam could not mimic her body or touch

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As i stroked the air I imagined for a moment that it was a her long raven hair.

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even though it was nothing

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I held

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nothing

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But my mind ran on

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and on

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thinking of what I were to say to her

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then I turned over as my delusions subsided

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I felt the fat at my side and my paunch

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I was disgusted

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and I know she would be too

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I am still a fat boy

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I am fat

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and i am longing for love

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Even when it feels like I am a pervert or an obssesive creep

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if she were to ever read this just know that

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I never meant to be creepy

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But everyday I wait you occupy my mind

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I feel as if your home is in my soul

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but the soul is vacant

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I hope that one day my lips may utter all that my heart has to say

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Even though we have never spoken in all those years I still remain as cupids fool

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I still remember you as the beautiful dove who would walk down the stairs with me when we were children

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I don't know if your heart is taken

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but mine is reserved

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through my delusions

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just for you

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god

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I feel so lonely rn

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and I feel like a bit of a cornball tbh

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I am fortunes fool

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Never too good

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never too bad

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But enough to feel like a fuck up

digital bay
#

again

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And again

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And again

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And again

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And again

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And now we cut

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Again

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And again

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And again

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Because we are weakc

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Because what the fuck am I doing

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With my life

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Why cant I have peace

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Why can't I be happy

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Why does it come back

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The addiction

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It is killing me

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It ruins me

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Dayc

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After fucking day

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And I hate it

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I need help

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I am sick

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I need help

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I need help

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Help me

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I can't face this fucking disease alone

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I tallied myself too many times

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The cuts are shallow

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Which makes it easier to do around

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10 or so at a time

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I think

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I tallied 20 times

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Because you just pass the razor

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Again

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And again

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Scabs upon scars and wounds upon scabs

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I am a sick man

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I need help

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I can't live like this

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I don't want to live like this anymore

digital bay
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My head hurts

digital bay
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My report was shit

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Anyways

digital bay
#

It's on my mind every single day now

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I can't forget about it

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It's doesn't make me scared

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Doesn't make me cry or flinch

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It's been a memory that has now reared it's ugly head out once more

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And now it plays on my mind

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The words

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Burnt into memory

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"I'll scream"

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And if you ever see this one day

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Or will see this

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Then know

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I will hate you

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Every

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Single

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Fucking day

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Because you had no right to do that

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You fuck

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I hope you die

digital bay
#

I've dissapointed enough

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It's fine if I die a coward

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If I go to hell

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I wasn't good

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I was never good

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As I write this I think of what my mother would say if she read this

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"Stop feeling bad for yourself"

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"Your life is fine"

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"Change your mindset"

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Easier said than done

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I don't know why I fuck up in school

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I say it's the phone but even when I take it away I just sit there

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I'm unmotivated

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Even as I set goals for myself

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I was promised books

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Yet I never lifted a damn finger

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I hate that im so lazy and unmotivated

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And then I keep sitting on my ass, doing jack shit

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Lol

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That's why I should just save everyone the suspense

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It would be better if the last expense they pay for me would be the funeral

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Let them cry it out and be rid of me

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Because what am I?

#

16 year old

#

Overweight

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Victim

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Does jack shit with his life

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Dissapoints

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Has money thrown at him for what?

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Just end it

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I don't need more holidays

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Or clothes

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Or anything

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I know if my parents were reading this they would be rolling their eyes to the back of their heads.

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Probably because I've said this shit ever since I've had my first bouts of whatever the fuck this all is

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The only difference now is that I'm down with a sickening addiction

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Fuck

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I hate it all

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I think I found out that she had a boyfriend this year

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Dunno

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Kinda sucked

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Not my prerogative

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To tell her who or who not to date

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But ig

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I'll wait

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I can't delude myself into thinking that I'll get married

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My mother wants grandchildren

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I don't think I'll be able go give her that

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Lol

#

What women wants to date me?

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No seriously

#

What fucking dumbass

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Wants to marry or fall in love with me?

#

Chopped fucker with a dull personality

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I'm a loser

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Who bitches about his life

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Despite having a pretty good one

#

...

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Fuck me

#

I've had it good

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Despite a few things

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I've had a good life

#

I've had

#

Yes

#

Had

#

No

#

Have

#

Had

#

Have

#

Hmmm

#

Words

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The words mean a lot

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Why am I like this

#

Why

#

Why

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Why do I feel like this

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Speak like this

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Why do I talk of slitting my wrists and partially meaning it

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Why do I cut and tally

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Why do I hate myself

digital bay
#

Fix them

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Fix them all

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It is your obligation

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I'll fix myself later

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Maybe

#

Of maybe the noose will

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The razor maybe

digital bay
#

Again

#

It happened again

#

What

#

The

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Fu k

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New stage

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Strikes

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I will now strike myself on the back with a baton

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Maybe I can't train my back for shit but at least now I can beat myself until I gain some sort of a resistence

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So that will be fun

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Maybe I'll strike those knuckles of mine

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I'm grabbing the razor

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Wounds over scars

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So many fucking cuts

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All fucking deserved

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All deserved

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Deserved

#

Hits

#

Cuts

#

Deserved

#

I am shit

#

So much more

#

Because I am filth

#

I am filth

#

I hate myself

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And my flesh

#

FUCK

#

Help me

#

Please

#

I am filthy

#

Filthy

#

So fucking filthy

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So many cuts

#

And then blood

#

Then

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Help

#

I need help

#

I need to stop this

#

All of it

#

All of this shit

#

Help me

#

HELP ME

#

SEE ME

#

HELP

#

Horrid blood stained thigh

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Punishment leads to the blade

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Stained inside and out

digital bay
#

Why the fuck am I doing this

digital bay
#

I'm scrolling too much

digital bay
#

Yep

#

I'm a fuckup

#

We ain't gonna make it gng

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We gotta give up

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Just blow my shit steaight off

#

Mother told me she would be mad if I kill myself

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Guess I would make her mad one more time

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I'm do not making it in life

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Spiritually

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Physically

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Mentally

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Education wise

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I've wasted my life

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Fuck me

#

Cousins moving waaaay better than me

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I'm a good kid but I'm useless as a mother fucker

#

I'm not going to fucking make it in life

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I'm screwing up

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And I will become a screw up

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I'm dying alone

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With nothing

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In good for nothing

digital bay
#

I'm losing hope in it all

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I'm no hard worker

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I'm better off just....

digital bay
#

Nope

#

I ain't killing myself

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I'm just being dramatic

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But I still not like 100% okay

digital bay
#

Fuck it

#

I'm back to feeling like shit

#

This day has been a pox on me

#

Bike tire burst

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One of the break calipers broke

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No Data

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And a clip on my gym bag broke

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Fuck my life

digital bay
#

How do I help my friends when I can't help myself

#

Also

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My favourite gym attachment broke

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So that's another one to my list of bad fortune

digital bay
#

Maybe we can fix it

digital bay
#

Nnnnope

#

Still hate my looks

digital bay
#

Hm

#

Still fat

#

Just wanna be in love

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I wanna play with her hair

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Do cheesy shit

#

Cuddle

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I wanna be there through the passion and the dry periods

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I don't care if we become more like friends

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Because I want you to be my companion through life.

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Maybe it's you who dances across dreams or nestles in my mind or someone else

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I wanna be in love

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Not today's love

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I don't want a talking stage

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Or a situationship

digital bay
#

I'm so fucking pathetic

#

Nope

#

Fuck this

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And then we cut

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And cut

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So that we can remind ourselves

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Until there's a nice splotch of blood

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And then we bask in the shit

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We ruined it

#

Like we ruin everything else

#

Fuck up

#

Fuck up

#

Fuck up

#

I want to cut more

#

You are fucking disgusting

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So fucking numb

#

Help

#

Please

#

Just text me

#

Please

#

I'm not okay

#

Again

#

I'm not okay again

#

I know it will be the same shit

#

I know you've heard the same shit

#

But man

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I'm cutting

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And consuming that shit

#

And now I'm going to hit myself with that baton

#

Help me

#

Text me

#

Check up on me

#

I'll be honest this time dammit

#

Please

#

Staying up all night to un fuck the sleeping schedule

digital bay
#

Such a young kid

#

Who wanted to be a paleontologist

#

Now cuts himself

#

Like a fucking fatass

#

Mother fucker

#

It was weird when I did the thirty

#

I had to shave some hair to make space for the cuts.

#

The hair grows back slower now

digital bay
#

Here we go

digital bay
#

Gyming again

#

Last night was weird

digital bay
#

I hate weighing myself

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I've made little to no progress

#

Fuck my life

digital bay
#

Hand is a bit jittery

digital bay
#

Funny thing about always being the silent child

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Or the one who doesn't talk back as much

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Is that I long for the day where I can break the silence

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Where my silence becomes screams

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Where I can tell them everything

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Through tears and yells

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Sobs and shouts

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I can tell them how lonely I am

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How my self hatred isn't just a phase

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Where I can try to justify my misery

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It's weird

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How we all try to find means to justify erattic, destructive or negative actions and emotions

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Sometimes using our struggles as badge or a free pass

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Not saying that all people doing it are bad

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Of course there's some way that you can reason with it

#

But at the end of the day the nature of these negative actions that we try to reason with are just that

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Negative

#

The drugs will still take their toll

#

The arguing still hurts relationships and people

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The lack of performance in fields like work or school still have their consequences

#

I don't think my mental issues should be impacting my life the way it supposedly is

#

I should still be better

#

It's not as bad as others

#

It's fine

#

I should be fine

#

People are lonely

#

It's normal that friends are busy or unavailable

#

Maybe the self harm and other thing are problems but it can be mended

#

And if can't fester at my life like this

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I need to be more accountable

#

I can't hide behind my mental health as justification for not performing well in school

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I need to be more self aware that I'm not fucked in the head

#

But I'm just a lazy person

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Who's rude to people

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Who lacks manners

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And it's weird that I list off all of these problems

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And make no effort to fix them

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Because i am sort of comfortable in this sea of negativity

#

Even if I know that one day it may drown me

#

I still make no effort to swim go shore

#

Maybe I need to pull myself

#

Maybe I need to scream for help

#

But even when I did. Even when I pulled myself ashore

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I went back into the water

#

Whether it was through the thing

#

Or through a build up of self hatred and loathing

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I want solutions

#

But I want something that I will do or want to do

#

I've had so many options thrown at me

#

Turing to God.

#

Journaling

#

Finding purpose

digital bay
#

But I half ass it most times

#

Like I usually do

#

There's no clear direction in my daily life

#

I just live

#

I don't look down at my watch

#

I just exist

#

Maybe I'm just surviving

#

Maybe I'm living as a shell

#

The side character of the narrative

#

Just couped up in my head

#

Drifting in the ocean until it swallows me

#

Now I've made my pleas

#

I'm thankful to those who have answered

#

This entry was better than all the mindless rambling

#

Reflection over just emoting and moping about

#

This is better

#

Healthier I think

#

Oh look

#

It's hailing

#

I love rainy weather

digital bay
#

Intensity of effort

#

Works

#

In the gym

digital bay
#

I am discontent with this era of humankind

#

Given so much and we do so little

#

Knowledge at our fingertips yet we are all fools

#

Our ancestors would have pined for the knowledge we have

#

We have wasted it all

#

We've allowed ourselves to become sheep

#

Also

#

I see the world in a very weird way

#

I don't know if saying this would make me sound a little bit looney

#

But I see the world weirdly

#

Very

#

Very

#

Weirdly

#

Explaining it makes me sound deranged

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Don't press me on it or ask

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Yes, I'm talking to you

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Mr

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Anyways

digital bay
#

Withdrawals

digital bay
#

Sh is goofy as shit dawg. You mean to tell me that I hated myself so much that I carved a fucking "Z" into myself 😭

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These scars are weird

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And they itch

digital bay
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Hey CL

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Anyways

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I fucking flopped like usual

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Good god

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I don't even feel lonely

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Or sad

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Mad or depressed

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I need to feel something at least

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Anyways

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Uhm

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Time to add more to the tally

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Ain't seen it in a while

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Still

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In that wallet

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Slightly rusted

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From all the blood

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Blunt

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Oh well

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Dunno if I should blurt it out

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I know that some of the people I know are here

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Well

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Fuck it

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I'm a useless fucking chuds anyways

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Nvm

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I'll keep my own journal

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I'll code it if I have to

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All the more personal shit will go in there

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But basically

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I've ruined myself

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My teens have been a fucking mess

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Theres no one to blame but me

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I talked to u about it

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I'm going to a rehab

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but it needs to be under wraps

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because its bad

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it has ruined my life

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and I will forever hate it

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until I go back

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again

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time after time

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so bad

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right

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I literally have an acne breakout

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good fucking god

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I'm fucked

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I don't think i know how to talk to people

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I'm just couped up in my corner

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I'm not living

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wouldn't say I'm survinvg

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I'm on autopilot

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if i can't fix it

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then I am unfixable

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If I am lonely

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for the rest of my life

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there will be no use

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Can't even lose weight

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can't set a goal

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and I am doing nothing

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because being useless has it's comforts

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damn me

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I'm actually a fucking loser

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like genualily

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a fucking loser

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can't fucking spell

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fuckkkkkkkkk

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addicted to my phone

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music

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and I can't stop

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and I'm not willing

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for some fucking reason

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maybe I'll leave the internet

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one day

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I'll do my dramatic leave

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have everyone clambered around to wave me off

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so I can bathe in all of the fucking attention before going back

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like a fucking loser

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I am a loser

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a loser

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loser

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loser

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loser

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loser

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loser

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loser

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fuck my life

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what the fuck man

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off to sleep for my bitch ass

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I still want to be loved

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fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

#

123WAERSG4WOHRFSNJLXISJFPWE9U08YHOUIJOK[E9UHOUJLNKMLKP[0I-OIJWEIJWPGJIWGHUHFIFEJHIHUIUbu

fleet copper
#

Youll forget what day of the week it is, eventually it wont matter

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Everyday just becomes the same cycke

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over and over and over

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But the cycles keep you going

digital bay
digital bay
#

.....

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Fuck me bro

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Genuinely going to just die alone at this point

digital bay
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Some shits going in the new tome

digital bay
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One day clean

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Let's make it two

digital bay
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Though my time in the alt right was short lived

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It still did it's damage

digital bay
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Hmmm

digital bay
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We stand on the shoulders of the struggler

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Respect those who came before you

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Had two women from different parts of this country not struggled and strived, I would not be where I am

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One, a women who worked the factories and rose through total poverty, the over a women of business who had to face the challenges of a bad man.

digital bay
#

Clean for nearly a week now

digital bay
#

Huh

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The scars are fading

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Nice

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Anyways

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Now I just gotta be clean till next Friday

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I'm weening off of it

topaz rapids
digital bay
#

Thanks man

digital bay
#

We gonna keep going

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We gonna push forward

digital bay
#

This night I talked to the walker

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We talked and she laughed but her intentions were with another

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We laughed until I confessed to her. Then she cried before she reluctantly stayed but it was never the same

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Haste will get me nowhere

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And I must wait

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I also talked to Morgan Freeman, had web shooters that shot out linseed oil and was talking about how superheroes balance religion and morality with the fact that some of them having near godly power

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Strange dream

wheat geyser
#

It’s because of that phone

digital bay
wheat geyser
#

I’m so cool. I should be a therapist

digital bay
#

real shit man

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I'll be the first customer fr🙏

wheat geyser
#

First payment is only two cheez berger

digital bay
#

Note to self

#

Play Let It Happen by tame impala at 11:53:45

digital bay
#

Fucking hell

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What to do with my friend

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Don't fucking know how to help her and it's also a breach of my morals

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4 days

digital bay
#

Music is playing

digital bay
#

Well

#

New year

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Same schedule

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Today is arms

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And uhm

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5 days

fleet copper
#

YAYYY!!!

digital bay
#

2 days break

#

We'll repeat for like two more weeks before

#

Then we cut down to 1 days break

digital bay
#

Two tears streak down my face tonight as I think about love

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I'm scared of not being loved back

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Forgotten

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Rejected

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It's another one of those rants but dammit my heart feels too full

jade aurora
#

Love will find you. And when you are ready, take it.

digital bay
#

Limerance will be the death, of me

digital bay
jade aurora
# digital bay Why can't it find me now?

If you always think negatively like this, you will never realize if it happened or not. If you are just living through it instead of actually trying, you will never realize or accomplish what you want. For so long I always wanted a girlfriend, and this break I went out on a date with a girl I have been talking to. I know it can be scary because it also was for me, but love will never come for you in the way you want if you don't want it or don't want to realize you have it already.

digital bay
#

There's this girl

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I knew her when I was younger

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Beautiful girl

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And I think of her

jade aurora
digital bay
#

Shit

#

Back to like kindergarten

jade aurora
digital bay
#

Not really

#

I mean I just got insta and I requested a follow but there's zilch

jade aurora
#

Well

digital bay
#

For some reason she's the only I love

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I've had flings but nothing stuck

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I think it's an obsession at this point

jade aurora
#

Obsessions aren't healthy.

digital bay
#

Planning on it

jade aurora
#

If you really put your mind to it, even when it seems hard, you will get there.

#

Always remember that just by knowing that you need therapy you are already many steps head of people, and that is good.

digital bay
#

Also need to look into other things

digital bay
#

Oldest cure on the internet for sadness

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Cats

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Like if I open the door and see her, I'm happy

#

But I open the door and there's just kittens?

#

I'm dying of happiness

digital bay
#

I need to get bigger

#

Bigger muscles

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Higher weights

#

Yes

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That is my goal

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To be big

#

Finally doing a therapy session tomorrow

#

Two hours

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There's a lot to talk about

#

Also forgot to thank the kind fellow for the advice the other night

#

Thanks fellow

#

My problem is easier to stave off now that I'm doing the weening

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Monday to Thursday

#

It's peaceful

#

It's clear

jade aurora
#

Hey im glad to hear that you are doing therapy

#

You dont have to start off with everything

#

Going slow also helps

#

But thats really good man

digital bay
#

Thanks

#

I just finished up my first session

#

There was three points

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All linked to a larger issue

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And there's some healing to do

digital bay
#

In a world of madness, the sane may be labeled as crazy.

jade aurora
fleet copper
#

Dont rush yourself or your healing process. Healing takes time and you have plenty of time

digital bay
#

6 days

digital bay
#

No

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5

#

Today is the off day

#

But

#

I don't know if I even wanna indulge anymore

#

Should I run it through?

#

I guess I'll run it until my next therapy session

#

Next week Wednesday is school

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Kill me

#

I'm genuinely stressed

#

Gotta use my grade 11 marks to apply to uni

#

And for bursaries

#

Grade 12 sees whether I get out of school

#

And I've been floating

#

I'm so fucking stressed

#

I can't spiral right now

#

I just got better