Draegon’s den | Huddle | Page 1

novel scaffold Jan 19, 2025, 6:58 AM

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Hamburher(this is my placeholder)
TW: mentions of suicide(Al tendencies), self harm, swearing

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*or

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Anyway

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Yo diary
I feel like no one wants to get close to me. The closest I’ve ever been with someone is my ex best friend who kinda sorta just abandoned me. Like. He said he wanted to stay friends after a fight and kinda just like stopped. And I hate that he moved on and I hate seeing him act like he didn’t do this, didn’t abandon me. Because he did. And then he asks “are you okay?” Take a guess bro.
No, I’m not. I went from laughing to nearly killing myself in like 5 minutes and I’m sitting right here now.

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I closed all my DMs with him and group chats

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And I don’t know how to feel

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Part of me just wants to end it because then at least he’d realize what he’d done

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But knowing him he wouldn’t blame himself

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He never does

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I’d like to imagine people would miss me when I’m gone

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But that’s fantasy

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I barely find anything fun anymore

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I used to have fun talking with friends, playing games with them, being creative, but nothing actually feels like anything anymore

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Maybe I should go to therapy

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Sigh

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And my
Meds

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Oh boy

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Whenever I take them o feel like a brick of steel who can’t think or be creative

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But when I don’t I become a mess that hurts people emotionally

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And I can’t control my feelings

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High highs and low lows

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Like my emotions were on speed dial

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But with my meds I dont feel emotions

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Except sadness really

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And anger sometimes

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Not happy tho

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Maybe can consider happy status quo

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But then then

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When one aims to apply a high above a status quo, that high becomes unattainable to those of consistency

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God

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I’m so tired of everything

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And anytime I spend time with someone who I thought enjoyed it I’m always reminded that they’d have more fun doing it with someone else

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And I can’t find any self worth because I’m not worthy of anything

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I’ve got no discipline, shitass trades, ugly as hell, not even competent at any art mediums, weak as a string, and terrible habits.

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Wow! Reading over this makes me look like I’m crazy ! 😀

novel scaffold Jan 20, 2025, 7:10 AM

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Update: as Britney Spears once said oops I did it again

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Binge watched two novas tho those were cool

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||And then I did a lil oopsie doopsie mama-made-a-cut-in-my-forearm-y||

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Tw: sh

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(Above)

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Anyway texted my ex who I blocked YESTERDAY because even tho he wasn’t responding to any of my texts I just had to imagine “well he’ll come around eventually” no the fuck he won’t lmao

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Anyways

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Yeah no so updates for today

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I feel like a fatass any time I look in a mirror

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I can’t wear any short sleeves because people will see my arms

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Once again my self worth is at an all time low

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I have no friends

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And I haven’t studied for a test I have tomorrow

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Oop no day after

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My bad

novel scaffold Jan 21, 2025, 7:01 AM

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Well I haven’t done any of my homework

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I’m so fucked bro

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In other news I did grind Splatoon and I hit s+8

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If I hit s+10 I won’t have to grind rank to get back up to s+

novel scaffold Jan 25, 2025, 7:38 AM

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god I’m so tired

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Of being ignoried

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Of being alone

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Made fun of

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What if I just ended it lol

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Like

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Rn

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Would anyone care?

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Or would they move on

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I know it selfish of me to say that I wish someone would be devastated by my death

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But everyone has a support system who they care about more than me

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So in the grand scheme?

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I don’t mean shit

novel scaffold Jan 26, 2025, 6:16 AM

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Hey siri where’s my knife

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Guys turns out if you lick fresh wounds it burns

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A lottttt

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Owie

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Yummy tho

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Just saying

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Hey Mona Lisa

novel scaffold Jan 26, 2025, 9:22 AM

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It’s 1:22

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I cut myself yesterday

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And by that I mean one hour 22 minutes ago

novel scaffold Jan 26, 2025, 9:56 AM

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Update: 5 minutes ago

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I promise I’m not
Addicted

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I’ve just done it 12 days in a row

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Slicey sliced

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Slicey

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I’ve been reading a splatoon fanfiction for the past uhhh 5 hours

novel scaffold Jan 27, 2025, 6:03 AM

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I’m so tired Finn

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Let’s kill the horse

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I’m so hungry
The humble horse:

novel scaffold Jan 28, 2025, 6:55 AM

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Hi journal:
I told ky friend about my attempt. He didn’t take it well.
He made a whole ass post on instagram about it after I told him not to tell anyone. And it pisses me the fuck off. Because why? “Don’t tell anyone” you DREW ME IN THE COMIC NOW EVERYONE KNOWS

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And I’m truly sorry for trusting him because other friends of his have killed themselves and he wasn’t able to stop them and I don’t want him to blame himself.

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I regret putting this on him

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But I feel like maybe drawing out a comic and posting it to social media that all my friends follow is possibly not the greatest idea

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And on top of that I feel like no one even cares at all

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Because he didn’t listen

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And that’s what makes me angry at the end of the day

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Not about what he posted

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Or about how he reacted

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I’m mad that he didn’t listen

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Because it hurts

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And I’m tired

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And sick of everything

novel scaffold Jan 29, 2025, 7:21 AM

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I’m so tired at this point

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Tired of being reminded

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That I have nothing

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Gang I lowkey kinda want to end it

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The contrasting cold of the metal against my throat

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||Pain of an open wound not yet setting in as a feel the blood beginning to coat my neck||

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And I fucking hage being fat

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Also tw detailed mention of suicide

novel scaffold Jan 30, 2025, 5:51 AM

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I’m so tired of being alone

novel scaffold Jan 30, 2025, 6:45 AM

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I have an exam tomorrow and I have to wake up at 4:30 to cram study

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I spent today grinding Splatoon

novel scaffold Feb 1, 2025, 6:35 AM

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I was going to grab a knife from the kitchen to cut myself and then my brother walked out at the same time and started watching reels with me and we were laughing and then he left and now I don’t know what to do

novel scaffold Feb 2, 2025, 7:20 AM

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I went on a short walk today

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In the middle of the night in the rain

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And it was peaceful and trrrifying

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I kept seeing someone following me in my peripheral

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But the ambiance man

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It was so peaceful

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There’s this little cove

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Where the path curves around a bend

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A small hole with a beautiful rock and a basin of water dwelling at it’s lowest point

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And the crackling smoothness of the creek blended with the rain

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It was beautiful

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I lied there for a little bit

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On the wet ground

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Apple messed around with the sky a lil

novel scaffold Feb 3, 2025, 4:34 PM

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New highest X power !!!

novel scaffold Feb 4, 2025, 5:52 AM

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i think my friend is about to kill himself and I cant do anything about it

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hes my closest friend ever and I cant lose him

novel scaffold Feb 5, 2025, 6:21 AM

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Ending it would be easier wouldn’t it.
Just a gap away from everything. Maybe not a gap, more like a break. A leave? No. The snapping of something. People would move on from me, regrow, build more bonds. No one needs me here to make it. So what if I do do it?

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Haha I said doodoo

novel scaffold Feb 6, 2025, 7:20 AM

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Dear diary:
jm gonna try to do this everyday I guess? I’m not sure how to start but ig I’ll start by rattling off my feelings

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I’m behind on all my schoolwork

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The workload feels overbearing but I can’t get anyone to help because they’re all on top of everything

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So there’s that

novel scaffold Feb 7, 2025, 6:13 AM

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Day 2:

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I’m tired man

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Eating frozen grapes and reading fanfic is nice and all but idk

novel scaffold Feb 9, 2025, 7:32 AM

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I’m so sick of being alone

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And being fat

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And being idly

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Ugly

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And stupid

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I need friends

novel scaffold Feb 10, 2025, 7:44 AM

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Yeah I’m writing splatoon fanfiction instead of sleeping

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I think I’m addicted to splatoon

novel scaffold Feb 11, 2025, 6:27 AM

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Are there any Splatoon players axolotl

novel scaffold Feb 14, 2025, 4:38 AM

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What if one day my family came home and I was just dead

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Lying in my room

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||Blood pooling out my throat||

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“___ just killed himself” my brother would send to the secret GC that he showed me of my friend group but never added me too

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It’s selfish

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My parents would be devastated

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My mom

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I love her so much

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Maybe they’d move on

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Maybe

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It sounds so nice

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To be gone

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To be free of the burdens of everything

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But everyone who cares about me

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I’d let them down

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I don’t want to do that

novel scaffold Feb 14, 2025, 5:02 AM

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I’m so tired

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I’m so sick of being the problem everywhere I go and I babe it

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Hate

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Dude

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Every breakup, every bad drift away, every tie cut is because I fucked up in a way that hurt the other person

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And I want to die with that

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My friend told me he wouldn’t tell anyone when I told him I attempted

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I told him

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I wouldn’t do it again

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I promiser

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Promised

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I don’t want to have lied to him

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But I hurt him in a way I can’t forgive myself for. And he shouldn’t have to blame himself because it’s not his fault. I made him miserable. I fucked up his life and his self-esteem

novel scaffold Feb 14, 2025, 6:31 AM

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Bro just let me cut myself in peace

novel scaffold Feb 25, 2025, 7:27 AM

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I’m so sick of it

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I’ve said this so much

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But I’m so sick of being nobody’s number one

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Nobody’s go to

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I used to be

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But I made a mistake

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I fucked up

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And now it’s over

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And I hate it

novel scaffold Feb 28, 2025, 7:16 AM

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The smallest things make me want to cut now

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My “friends” making fun of me for doing something I enjoy

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Paranoia

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That something got out that shouldn’t save

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*shouldn’t have

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My arm hurts

novel scaffold Mar 2, 2025, 8:38 AM

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Stats

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Splatoon stays

novel scaffold Mar 9, 2025, 10:00 AM

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I love writing angst

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I am very evil man

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Evil Larry type shit

novel scaffold Mar 10, 2025, 9:45 AM

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Dear diary: I’m so sick of not being able to get anything done or change myself. I can’t lose any weight, can’t change my habits, can’t be funny or flirty or anything. I know I can change myself and yet here I lie.

novel scaffold Mar 13, 2025, 5:43 AM

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I feel like everyone’s always laughing at me and what I do and how I look and I hate it and I don’t know what

novel scaffold Mar 15, 2025, 9:06 AM

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I lit a candle in my room for the scent

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I put it out

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Now it feels like a life has been drained from the room

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The ambience

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Flickering of a inanimate wild flame

novel scaffold Mar 16, 2025, 4:54 AM

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God I hate myself

novel scaffold Mar 18, 2025, 6:16 AM

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My friend got SA’d and I’m so afraid of what he’ll do and I love him so much in a non gay way (we’re both gay but for other people) and o want him to be happy but this motherfucking creep that goes to his school just had to ruin it all

novel scaffold Mar 19, 2025, 3:47 AM

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My mom found out about me cutting myself

novel scaffold Mar 19, 2025, 5:36 AM

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I don’t know why to do

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What

novel scaffold Mar 21, 2025, 6:41 AM

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I can’t stop eating myself

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Anything sharp in my room got confiscated

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So I’m biting my skin again

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But it burns

novel scaffold Mar 29, 2025, 2:49 AM

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I was working on a painting in art class and my teacher looked at me and said “are you sure you’ve never painted before?” And I felt really good and then he said that to every other kid in the class

novel scaffold Mar 31, 2025, 7:06 AM

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I wish I could change myself

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But I cant

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Im fat, im stupid, I’m insignificant

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And I try to change

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But I go back

novel scaffold Apr 3, 2025, 8:25 AM

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Hella sleep deprived but I made (almost) suspension and a differential out of legos

novel scaffold Apr 4, 2025, 5:31 AM

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i have written

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1844 words of fanfic

novel scaffold Apr 17, 2025, 7:07 AM

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By brother made fun of me for
Ticking today

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“You’re doing this with you face” yeaah I can’t fucking help it thanks for asking

novel scaffold May 12, 2025, 8:05 AM

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I got top 300 in Splatoon 3 today. I genuinely can’t decide if I’m happy, proud, or tired

novel scaffold May 13, 2025, 7:44 AM

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I had an idea: I was trying to separate the vector layers of the top 500 badge but it would be a lot easier to just outline the ones of the top 3k badge

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I think they’re the same

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Side by side comparison

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Yeah

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Unrelated but oh man I want that top 10 badge

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It looks so clean

novel scaffold Jul 28, 2025, 9:43 AM

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im so sick of being tired and lonely again

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i try and try and try

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and yet

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i want love and somehow I', unlovable?

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i thought things would make me happy

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but so far

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nothing

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nada

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zero

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jack shit

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i want someone to cuddle

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with

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i sound so ameture and childish

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but i want someones shoulder to cry in

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someones warmth to share

novel scaffold Jul 30, 2025, 8:31 AM

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why is nothing fun anymore lol

novel scaffold Aug 2, 2025, 6:14 PM

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all of my friends either hate me or are possibly lying to me

novel scaffold Aug 6, 2025, 5:06 AM

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i went out to downtown with my friends yesterday

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turns out

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they dont hate me!!!

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and we got ramen and ice cream

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and tonight i called with who was formerly an aquatence and is now a friend!

novel scaffold Aug 29, 2025, 3:47 AM

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im so paranoid

novel scaffold Sep 2, 2025, 7:14 AM

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This is genuinely the greatest thing ever and I refuse to elaborate

novel scaffold Sep 3, 2025, 3:59 AM

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im playing in the north american splatoon league

novel scaffold Sep 8, 2025, 3:35 AM

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When I’m happy im “not focusing on whats important” and when I’m unhappy I “should be making healthier decisions” and when I do eat I’m “being unhealthy” and when I don’t I’m “not taking care of my body” and when I finally feel good and someone is mad it’s all my fault and I don’t know what to fucking do anymore

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“Because it’s ALL my fault, yeah” yeah well maybe it fucking is

novel scaffold Sep 15, 2025, 8:10 PM

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my friends are hiding something from me

novel scaffold Sep 16, 2025, 8:36 AM

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Nvm

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A record four of my friends have DID

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And one of them abandoned me because I hurt him because of ignoring his headmates

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So I’m trying to be careful

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But it’s hard because I don’t know if I should refer to them by who I think is fronting atm or what

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I’m so tired

novel scaffold Sep 21, 2025, 9:12 PM

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i hate being on a bad team bc it makes me feel like I suck

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but i prform well

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and they dont gad

novel scaffold Sep 29, 2025, 7:34 AM

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im highkey hella depressed

novel scaffold Oct 11, 2025, 2:39 AM

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an 18 year old just tried flirting with me and called my voice cute ?? 😭😭😭

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A minor btw

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💔

novel scaffold Oct 17, 2025, 5:19 AM

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I hate having big thighs

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“Oh no my lobster is to buttery and my steak to juicy” until they’re rubbing up against each other every time I move

novel scaffold Oct 30, 2025, 12:55 AM

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nothings fun anymore

novel scaffold Nov 6, 2025, 7:28 AM

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....

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some random fucking sophmore just grabbed my chest and like

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massaged it

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im gonna kms 💔

novel scaffold Nov 17, 2025, 9:21 AM

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back to being depressed

novel scaffold Nov 18, 2025, 8:36 AM

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I miss cutting

sour siren Nov 18, 2025, 10:58 PM

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Not encouraging but what’s stopping you?

novel scaffold Nov 22, 2025, 7:25 AM

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parents took my knife

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Couldn’t stop me 😛

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Relapsed

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I can’t cry

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I want to cry

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Serrated hurts more

sour siren Nov 22, 2025, 6:56 PM

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I haven’t tried that. Honestly I haven’t really felt the need to self harm lately, just to die soon

novel scaffold Nov 23, 2025, 10:20 AM

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i think I’ve come to accept the fact that my death will be at my own hands

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it’s just a matter of when I get low enough

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I suppose it makes me sad that I won’t live out my life

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But the life I’ve had so far hasn’t been that great

sour siren Nov 23, 2025, 6:45 PM

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The act of doing so in a way is rejecting this world and what people tell you

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But not many people get what it's like. If they knew what we had to deal with they too would reject this world. Life may have been good once but things are different now

novel scaffold Nov 24, 2025, 10:41 AM

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It has its ups and downs but at the end of the day nothings changed

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I come home to the same bed and the same routine every day

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I feel the same things

novel scaffold Nov 28, 2025, 9:58 AM

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guh

novel scaffold Dec 1, 2025, 8:47 AM

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im afraid of how my family will react when I kill myself

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I know I’m going to do it sometime

sour siren Dec 2, 2025, 4:07 AM

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Truthfully, you have very little control over that

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The little you do have is based on how they currently perceive you as well as any notes you might leave people

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You may want to consider if worries about your family weighs too much on you to go through with it

novel scaffold Dec 4, 2025, 8:08 AM

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I’m in so much pain right now holy

novel scaffold Dec 6, 2025, 10:13 AM

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“Your sidekick” and it’s my ex best friend who I’m 90 percent sure killed himself after he blocked me

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I haven’t heard from or about him in months

sour siren Dec 8, 2025, 1:57 AM

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Yikes

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Had similar feelings of discomfort going through my discord recap

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Two of the 3 people it picked out as my top friends I don’t speak to anymore

novel scaffold Dec 10, 2025, 8:53 AM

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one of them was my groomer ✌️🫩

novel scaffold Dec 19, 2025, 1:33 AM

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my friend group went to a store to open pokemon cards as a souvenir because we finished finals

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And I was going to go but surprise! I have therapy so I have to miss it

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So one of my friends offered to open one for me and record it

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and the time comes they go and I see no text or video

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Come to find that my BROTHER

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who has weaseled his greasy fucking hands back into my friend group after abandoning it for a freshmen who he had a crush on (insanely weird btw)

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told my friend that I didn’t deserve to get one because I wasn’t there

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mind you I was the one who helped to coke up with the thing

novel scaffold Dec 25, 2025, 11:02 AM

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I realized why I have such an awful sleep schedule

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it’s 3am for me rn

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and I’m afraid of going to sleep on time because every time i have I wake up hallucinating and unable to move and there’s like

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It always feels like there’s someone/something in the corner of my vision that I can’t comprehend

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And it’s terrifying

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it feels like it just watches me and waits for something

novel scaffold Dec 27, 2025, 12:35 PM

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Yeah ok there’s a new one

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It’s like a thin tree

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And it’s body is like

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Its midsection is a tree with branches going out in all sides

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And it has a thin twig like body

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and long lanky arms with sharp hands

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and its head is just two large branch horns

novel scaffold Jan 4, 2026, 11:12 AM

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#newpfp because I’ve lowk started cross dressing but I have to do it behind my moms back because she will lowk not talk to me if she finds out

novel scaffold Jan 5, 2026, 7:25 AM

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day 1/? of becoming more feminine - today I shaved my legs and began to work on losing bodyfat to get a slimmer waist

#Draegon’s den