This is were I will express my emotions. Warning: Self harm, Swearing
#Helwo’s Journal
cunning carbon
Entry #1
I really don’t want to go through the week today. I don’t want to any sports week except soccer. In basketball, all they do is argue agrue argue. For the dumbest reasons. And the second semester has just started. The teachers always say to be organized. Well idgaf. I have a lot to do this week. I hope I can deal with them this week. But I just seem to give up easily. I always stay up doing stuff. Like doing homework. That the teacher ate trying to torture me with.
And really need a therapist. I’m suffering from depression and I’ve been doing self harm. I just don’t know what to tell my parents. I just want to the what the ||fuck|| is wrong with me. Why am I doing this stuff? I have no idea. And I don’t think anyone cares.
They just say I’m dramatic. I just can’t. I don’t know what to do.
cunning carbon
Staying up until guess
cunning carbon
Entry #2 1/30/24 Warning: self harm.
Can’t believe i have to do a lot of quizzes this week and next week. And I’m afraid I’ll get a bad grade on them.
I guess I’ll have to study and i I’ll probably wont have time for it either.
And I wasn’t really in a good moon at school today. This that person was so annoying it made it worse. So i just kept my true feelings inside and just pretend that everything is fine. I just wish It was the weekend. At least my friends make my day better. They always make me laugh. And it makes me forget about all the things that I’m dealing with. That’s until they saw my hands. They saw cuts on it and they started asking me about it. I dont know how to explain it. So i just said that i have depression and that I’ll explain later. I dont even know if i want to explain the situation that I’m dealing with. || the sad part is that people sometimes call me depressed just because of the look on my face. Even in photos, they say, “why do you look so depressed in this photo lol”. I hated it. I started thinking to much about my looks and why i look like this.|| there are many reasons why i do self harm i just can’t stop. I feel awful about my self. ||i don’t know if i should kill myself. But I’m also afraid as well.|| I just can’t i think i need help
cunning carbon
Depression sucks
cunning carbon
Already loving it
cunning carbon
Entry 3#
School was fun, me and my 3 best friends were playing in the snow. It was so fun it kept me distracted from the things I’m going through at home.
When I got home, my mom that mad at me because she was testing if I would respond to her even though the message was a fake situation. She was like “ it’s like your ignoring your own Mother!”. Seriously, I did not have service and I did not see the message. I can’t believe her. I kind of told her I have mental issues, she and my my dad were like, laughing. They thought I was just dramatic and overthink too much. That made it worse. Made me do more self harm. I couldn’t believe them. They can’t be serious. Now I feel like I can’t be honest with them about my emotions. Since I can’t show my self harm scars I’ve started to cover them with makeup