APA's venting zone | Huddle | Page 2

vague mason Jul 23, 2023, 10:44 PM

#

I guess it's cool and not cool that the hardest part of the job is literally the first 3 hours

#

After that I can mostly chill on my phone

#

Well still need to be careful lol

#

Kinda scared it's 3 weeks tho

#

I hope 1 week will be enough to rest for school

#

Because the last time I missed the start of school it didn't ended well lol

#

I hope school will be like 2021-2022

#

well at least that I like it

#

Some of the stuff imma study look interesting tho so

#

I just hope I took the right thing this time

#

I mean even if I didn't it's the last time anyway so

#

Hoping for the best

#

Damn it's actually tiring to write lol

#

Haven't wrote that much in a long time too

#

Weirdly enough this time I doesn't feel "better" after writing

#

Well i wasn't feeling bad to start with so

#

I guess that's normal

#

But yeah

#

Tomorrow is probably gonna be chill again

#

Don't really have anything to do tomorrow

#

Hmm well that's it for today

#

For good this time lol

vague mason Jul 24, 2023, 9:12 AM

#

So I kinda had a small panick attack again around 9:50am something like that

#

Thankfully it was raining so I managed to calm down pretty quick

#

Still sucks when that happen

#

On the other hand my gf wrote me a poem

#

It's like the sweetest gift I ever had

#

So thankful for her

#

Had to run errands with my dad

#

Was pretty awkward

#

Just small talks

#

But anyway

#

Don't think I have something else to do

#

Didn't managed to take my nap tho

#

So yeah I'm pretty tired

#

Might take one this afternoon

#

I might edit my introduction since it's been sometimes and a lot has changed between when I joined the server and now so yeah

vague mason Jul 24, 2023, 10:21 AM

#

so i looked up about the whole random panick attack stuff

#

one of the reasons could be "trauma triggers" which would kinda make sense in a way

#

especially things like "intrusive memories" and "hypervigilance"

#

and also disrupted sleep

#

one way to cope with it would be therapy but nah thanks

#

also meditation but meh

#

never really worked for me

#

feel like i just have to bear with it ig

#

i'm just hoping it stays that way and doesn't become to recurent

vague mason Jul 24, 2023, 12:51 PM

#

so here is the poem that my gf made me :

#

best gift ever 🥹

vague mason Jul 25, 2023, 8:24 AM

#

yay it's raining bunnybobatea

vague mason Jul 25, 2023, 9:08 AM

#

so still didn't slept a lot

#

around 4H again

#

but i spent the whole morning talking with my gf so

#

that's totally worth it

#

hmmm also gonna need to start working and focusing on something tomorrow

#

wanted to start today but probably gonna have some errands to run

#

and i want to be focus and take my time with this stuff so yeah tomorrow

#

still need to take my shower

#

and eat soon

#

even though i'm not very hungry

#

i didn't have any panick attack since yesterday

#

i usually get one in the morning but not this time

#

progress i guess

#

still coughing tho

#

i'm probably gonna go back to magnesium pills too

#

feels like it was "helping" me in a way

#

can't stop thinking about her huddleshibaheart

#

hope she is sleeping well

vague mason Jul 26, 2023, 11:36 AM

#

so i slept pretty bad again

#

kept waking up with cold sweat and feeling anxious

#

managed to take a small nap not long after so at least i feel a bit rested

#

also got my magn pills back

#

not sure if it's gonna do anything but i hope

#

been doing the same dream for like 3 days straight when i can actually sleep

#

it's a really good dream tho so it's all good

#

it's already wednesday

#

hope it's gonna be a good day

#

without any panick attack

#

also idk why yesterday when i got a panick attack my first reaction was to just lay down in my bed and look at the ceiling

#

it felt weird, like i was there but not there at the same time

#

i might clean up my car later in the afternoon but i'll see

#

kinda want to chill today

#

been driving left and right the last 2 days so

#

anyway

#

i forced myself to eat a bit even tho i woke up not long ago

#

been eating chicken or tuna for like 3 days i think

vague mason Jul 26, 2023, 12:14 PM

#

feels like something is bothering me

vague mason Jul 26, 2023, 1:26 PM

#

feeling way better already

#

i'm so grateful for her, knowing that i can be honest with her and that we can talk things out

#

she is everything to me

#

love her so much

vague mason Jul 28, 2023, 3:37 AM

#

Even by going to sleep an hour earlier than usual, looks like my brain is programmed to sleep only 4 hours

#

Can always take a nap or two later anyway

#

I guess the good thing about waking up this earlier is that it's neither too hot or too cold

#

Don't think I have anything planned today, or not that I remember

vague mason Jul 28, 2023, 11:16 AM

#

took a pretty big nap

#

feeling good

#

hmm i might do the prompts of the day some times to times

#

💌 If I could have any dream I wanted tonight, what would it be about?

#

well i was going to say about my gf but that's already the case lol

#

think i'm just gonna chill this afternoon

vague mason Jul 28, 2023, 8:37 PM

#

afternoon went really fast

#

can hardly remember what i did except watching stuff and listening to music

#

also i should have eaten more this evening

#

it's 10:38pm and im like really hungry

#

might go get some groceries tomorrow

#

want some pringles or doritos

#

still need to try root beer someday

#

probably gonna order some next week since i haven't found one in the store i go to

#

i feel tired but motivated at the same time

#

haven't had any panick attack in 2 days

#

which is good

#

still have no clue why i can't sleep more than 4 hours tho

#

never happened before

#

can always take a nap in the morning so that's alright ig

#

tho i hope i'll manage to sleep more than 4 hours when i start working, like at least 5 hours

#

cause otherwise i'm just gonna drop dead there lol

#

doesn't help that the most tiring part are the first 3 hours too

#

ugh of course the first thing i see on twitter is an ads for kfc 😭

#

god this song is great

#

https://open.spotify.com/intl-fr/track/566U7bjbnK0I3RxObVVpA9?si=762664b7923f4936

Spotify

Can't Take My Eyes Off You - Original Extended Version

Boys Town Gang · Titre · 1982

vague mason Jul 28, 2023, 10:00 PM

#

just read that the mcdonald i'm used to go burnt down yikes

#

also yeah got "slightly" triggered by something :/

vague mason Jul 29, 2023, 12:21 PM

#

yay it's raining cat_mochi_cat_boba

vague mason Jul 29, 2023, 1:21 PM

#

Stuck in my bed feeling "weird" again

#

Feels like I'm "thinking" too much

#

Wish I could just turn my brain off sometimes and just have a clear mind

#

But no I always think about something annoying or stressing like work, school or something else

#

Wish I could think differently

#

Feels like I'm not good for anything

#

Or too lazy

#

It's just so tiring to stress about stuff

vague mason Jul 29, 2023, 2:06 PM

#

Thankfully I have the best gf I could ever had and she's helping me and making me happy so much

vague mason Jul 31, 2023, 8:31 AM

#

i'm tempted to maybe make an appointment with my doctor

#

i still can't get more than 4 hours of sleep per night

#

and it's starting to affect my mental health

#

15 mins ago i just broke down in tears without any reason

#

i wasn't even sad or anything

#

but it just happened

#

i feel like the panic attack, breaking down in tears etc might be because of my sleeping problem

#

I'm still getting used of having someone that love and care about me

vague mason Jul 31, 2023, 9:29 PM

#

my gf makes me the happiest i could ever be

#

she is such a source of motivation too

#

got motivated to draw something, haven't draw in like 2 years

#

still thinks it's not good but she said that it was cute so i'm fine with it huddleshibaheart

#

she craft, write and i know she draw too

#

she's so talented eveheart

#

hmm guess i'll post the drawing

#

#

so it's supposed to be this emote : bunnybobatea

#

i still think that i would legit see this in my nightmare lol

#

looks like a possessed bunny

#

kinda look funny in a way

#

might try to draw this one tomorrow :

#

cat_mochi_cat_boba

#

looks "easier" but i'll see

vague mason Aug 1, 2023, 4:38 PM

#

And my parents are arguing

vague mason Aug 1, 2023, 5:40 PM

#

We talked things out, love her so much eveheart

vague mason Aug 2, 2023, 9:13 AM

#

The more I try to get some sleep the worse it gets

#

Woke up 4 times this night

#

All the same with having cold sweats, and panic attack

#

My head feel so heavy too
Still so grateful for my gf, she always cheer me up and make me happy

#

Gonna try to take a shower, got stuff to do this afternoon anyway

vague mason Aug 2, 2023, 2:46 PM

#

Just got home from taking a look at my upcoming school

#

Looks nice, pretty big too lol

#

weather was hot but it was raining so that was nice

#

I usually don't sit in my backyard a lot, but the weather is cloudy and windy, it's nice feeling some air blobnomcookie

vague mason Aug 2, 2023, 5:36 PM

#

feeling good

#

slightly tired because i only took a nap this morning but yeah feeling actually good

#

haven't practiced trumpet for like 2 weeks

#

might play a bit tomorrow morning

#

might look up at some undertale or even video games ost in general

#

i still have this app that's pretty cool to find scores

#

also wanted to learn drums but yeah idk

#

don't want to take classes for it

#

i couldn't anyway with school coming up

#

Uni gonna take me a lot of time, and still has orchestra

#

i think it's gonna be friday evening now instead of saturday afternoon

#

just like when i joined it

#

i prefer it like that, i know some people don't like it but at least i'll have nothing to do during the weekend

#

expect studying obviously

#

also yeah gonna start saving up money

#

even tho i kinda already was

#

gonna get some with work coming up

#

and then i'll probably work during summer

#

hmm might look at some scores rn

#

wonder if the app is on pc

#

yes it is mochieyes

vague mason Aug 2, 2023, 7:21 PM

#

so only found like one score that might be fun to play without being too hard but idk i'll see

#

still need to draw, might start soon

#

also AC acting up again so it's hot

vague mason Aug 3, 2023, 2:55 PM

#

Good day today, managed to sleep almost like 6 hours and i actually sleep pretty good

#

haven't had a nap today, just rested a bit in my bed for like an hour

#

did some errands this afternoon, got some Monsters and ramen :3

#

feeling really happy huddleshibaheart

vague mason Aug 3, 2023, 3:33 PM

#

Just realized tomorrow is Friday already, this week has went fast

#

Maybe too fast even

#

only have like 3 days left before being busy with work and then school

#

Not that stressed about work anymore

#

I know it's gonna be tough to sleep the night before the first day as always

#

Probably won't sleep at all like I usually do

#

Can always take a nap when I got home

#

I'm happy it's from 6am to 1pm

#

Sucks to wake up at 4:30 am

#

But that's alright

#

Gonna be home at 1:30 pm so can always take like a 2 hours nap

#

As long as i get like 5 hours of sleep for work it's good

#

The tiring part is from 6am to 9am

#

Then it's pretty chill

#

Can even be on my phone

vague mason Aug 3, 2023, 4:41 PM

#

tiredness is slightly kicking in but a nap rn would destroy my sleep schedule so let's not do that lol

#

don't need to put AC today since it's not that hot

#

hands are cold tho

#

haven't listened to some Rev Theory in some long time

#

it's pretty good

vague mason Aug 3, 2023, 5:21 PM

#

hmm still a bit tired

#

might eat soon tho

#

also yeah i'm pretty sure i cough when it's too hot in my room

#

which is weird

#

since i also cough during winter

#

guess my body don't like extreme hot/cold temperature

#

haven't had spicy noodles in a long time, so good

vague mason Aug 3, 2023, 6:11 PM

#

was thinking of playing Superliminal again

#

even tho i finished the game like 15 times already

#

but idk i just love this game

#

it's a puzzle game based on perspective

#

and it's focused on dreams in general

#

OST is so good too, based on piano mostly

#

and the game has that "liminal space" vibe that i love

#

probably my favorite shot of the game :

#

vague mason Aug 3, 2023, 7:16 PM

#

i just realize i talk so much in my journal compare to other people lol

#

that's fine ig

#

can't write anything without music tho

#

feeling a bit tired but i know i'll just end up waking up in the middle of the night if i try to rest now

#

i still wonder how Uni is gonna go

#

feels like it's either gonna be good or bad

#

no in between

#

well i hope good

#

eh can always stop if i don't like it anyway

#

just hope this time it's the right one 🙏

#

also wonder what the schedule gonna be like

#

hoping it's not too "scattered" across the day

#

gonna be annoying otherwise

#

i like driving tho so

#

we'll see

#

hmm forgot to practice trumpet today

#

today went fast

#

well more than usual

#

especially this morning, even tho i haven't done anything really

#

anyway

#

still "amazed" how we dream while sleeping

#

wish i could have lucid dreams

#

even tho the dreams i had recently are perfect

#

but yeah, think i only had like 2 lucid dreams ever

#

funny it was 2 in a row

#

and it basically started the same way

#

was a long time ago tho

#

i remember i used to wrote down my dream on my phone as soon as i was waking up

#

funny thing is, i still remember the ones i wrote down without even looking at them lol

#

so yeah, the brain can be weird lol

#

hmm idk what to do

#

not tired enough to lay on my bed

#

but not motivated enough to do something

#

it's raining nice blobnomcookie

#

eating a yogurt while listening to the rain is weirdly relaxing

#

ugh i kinda want a dog again

#

german sheperd are so beautiful

#

stuck listening to the same song again lol

#

still trying to found out what made me sleep better than before

#

i didn't do anything different

#

damn i want noodles again lol

#

i'll buy more next time

#

could eat doritos but idk

#

hmm yeah imma go lay in bed and chill i think

#

feels like i wrote way too much today lol

vague mason Aug 4, 2023, 8:16 AM

#

slept okay

#

not for a long time but i didn't woke up randomly so that's pretty good

#

and i took a nice nap after so i'm feeling good

vague mason Aug 4, 2023, 7:36 PM

#

i didn't wanted to talk about it but it's been on my mind for like 30 minutes and i'm not motivated to do something else anyway

#

i miss some of my old friends

#

most of them were fake

#

or liar

#

but like 4 of them were the best friend i could ever ask for

#

and like an idiot i ghosted them

#

one of them i have known for like idk 10-11 years

#

but when friends ask me something that i either don't know what to respond or scared to say no i just don't respond to them and ghost them for days

#

i'm already struggling a lot to make friends, and when i do i throw it away

#

rn the only person i talk with are my gf and another friend but that friend always text me when i'm sleeping anyway

#

i wish i could try to make friend here but i'm too shy, awkward and bad to keep up convo

#

i always told myself that the shyness would someday go away but it never does

#

i always feel like i annoy people

#

and i'm not a fan of small talk

#

i guess with work and then school it won't bother me that much to not have friends because i'll be busy but still

#

i just wish to make like a friend or two at school, but i know with my shyness it's gonna be hard

#

somehow i always managed to make friend at school, but everytime it was because they approched me first

#

and weirdly enough the only year i didn't had friend my grades were terrible and i almost failed my year

#

anyway, it doesn't feel like talking about it help so

#

gotta cope with it

vague mason Aug 4, 2023, 9:34 PM

#

Gonna keep talking here since idk what to do

#

Today was ok

#

Slept most of the morning and got a bit sick in the afternoon

#

Don't think I want to talk about the whole friends stuff again

#

I'll just hope people dm me ig

#

Anyway

#

Might be the first time in days that I actually haven't done anything in a whole day

#

Feels like I spent the whole day in bed

#

Well i kinda did

#

Might go to sleep earlier

#

Idk

#

Still so grateful for my gf

#

Always cheering me up and making me smile and happy

vague mason Aug 5, 2023, 7:37 PM

#

hmm so i tried reaching out to an old friend

#

and yep it reminded me why i stopped reaching out first

#

i was clearly boring him

#

ehh he's doing okay at least so that's good

#

hmm today was "busy" i think

#

spent whole afternoon running errands

#

so tonight is the last night i can go to sleep late

#

well can still go to sleep late but yeah might not be the best idea with work

#

as long as i get 5h of sleep it should be good

#

almost 10pm and still not hungry

vague mason Aug 6, 2023, 3:56 PM

#

kinda spent the whole day laying in bed, not what i wanted since it's my last day where i can chill and stuff, but that's alright

#

i'm managing to not think about work too much so that's good

#

idk when i'll try to sleep tho

#

maybe staying up until 22:30 or 23:00 maximum

#

would give me around 5 hours of sleep

#

and then taking a nap when i go home if i'm too tired

#

well i'm probably gonna be tired anyway lol

#

hmm also just "realized' ig that what was stressing me with work wasn't the work itself but the fact it's 3 weeks yeah

#

gonna feel like a long time

#

1 week was already feeling like an eternity

#

at least i have 1 day off in the middle of the second week

#

might take another shower later, always making me feel good so

#

i also prepared painkillers if my back hurt, but should be alright

#

i still don't know what to think of my journal

#

at first it was supposed to be like a place to vent

#

then it turned into just telling what i did during the day

#

so yeah idk lol

#

feels kinda "useless" now

#

it's still nice to write what's on my mind tho

#

oh man i can feel the headache coming already

#

well thankfully i have painkillers

vagrant vectorBOT Aug 6, 2023, 6:10 PM

#

Well done @oak tusk ! you are rewarded with <@&1051527531527938149> for having made an entry in your journal on 25 different days.

vague mason Aug 7, 2023, 2:52 PM

#

hmm so today was the first day of work

#

i'm actually impressed i managed to slept something like 6 hours, maybe a bit less

#

usually the night before first day of work i literally can't sleep at all

#

well i wasn't stressed at all maybe that's why, all thanks to my gf

#

never had someone outside of my fam caring and making me happy that much

#

so yeah for a first day it was okay, first 3 hours were pretty tiring as expected

#

didn't had any deliveries to take care of so i was mostly chilling on my phone from like 10:30 to 11:45

#

still got tired and was closing my eyes at some point lol

#

but yeah when there's no delivery it's actually pretty chill

#

i still got stuff to do but i can do it whenever i want and in the order i want

#

as long as it's done before 11:45

#

even tho i usually finish everything at like 10:30

#

since deliveries usually start arriving at this time

#

took a very small nap when i got home, something like 20-30 minutes i think

#

Almost gonna be 1 month with my gf, pretty much my first relationship and i couldn't have found someone better than her

#

I can't say enough good stuff about her, always making me laugh, cheering me up, caring,
always asking me if i'm okay

#

i was pretty much at the lowest point of my life when she started chatting with me, now i'm probably at the happiest ❤️

vague mason Aug 7, 2023, 7:17 PM

#

Just read an old group chat from 2021-2022

#

Was nice reading some old stuff

#

Lots of good memories and funny moments

#

Even tho the best ones were irl of course

#

We were a group of 4

#

still sad one of them just vanished one day, just putting a message in the gc saying he's quitting

#

I hope he's okay

#

he was always the less talkative one

#

I could tell there was a lot of stuff he was hiding

#

Also I realize while reading that at first I was probably the most talkative one, and then kinda stopped

#

I know the other 2 are doing good so I'm happy for them

#

one continued in IT and the other wanted to become a veterinary

#

Still remember some good moments with em

#

That one time we went to a Chinese restaurant, ate wayyy too much and then we were literally sleeping during English class lol

#

Also played some GameCube at our friend's apartment

#

Still tempted to dm them sometimes but idk, i know they are probably very busy and idk showing up just like that after like more than a year without talking with them feels weird

#

It's probably better like that, need to focus on work, school and my gf of course huddleshibaheart

#

I hope tomorrow will be as chill as today

#

Hoping to not have deliveries

#

Also want to be Friday already lol

vague mason Aug 8, 2023, 4:40 PM

#

alright day 2 of work over

#

was pretty tiring, def more than yesterday

#

had to rush during the first 2 hours

#

then got some deliveries to take care of

#

was pretty chill from 11am to 1pm tho so that's good

#

almost fell asleep once lol

vague mason Aug 8, 2023, 5:46 PM

#

alright, took a shower

#

feeling less tired

#

ate a bit too even tho i wasn't hungry

#

damn it's almost 8pm already

#

i legit did nothing from my afternoon except laying in bed and then in my chair

#

might go to sleep a bit earlier since i haven't took a nap today

vague mason Aug 9, 2023, 5:27 AM

#

Currently at work

#

Back hurt a bit and got some kind of panic attack :/

#

Well maybe not a panic attack but felt really hot and was hard to think and focus

#

And also pretty tired

vague mason Aug 9, 2023, 5:55 AM

#

Break is over, back to work

vague mason Aug 9, 2023, 8:26 AM

#

Pretty sure I did everything I had to do, so now I'm just waiting for deliveries for like an hour and an half

vague mason Aug 10, 2023, 9:28 AM

#

Been on a break for like an hour and a half already

#

Slow day again, only got one delivery, was heavy tho

#

Thankfully my gf was online a bit, helped me being less bored

#

Love her so much 💜

vague mason Aug 10, 2023, 7:02 PM

#

today was good

#

wish i could have slept a bit better but it was alright

#

one more day of work before weekend

#

i'm hoping it's gonna be chill like today

#

the whole hour and a half break was pretty sweet

#

but yeah weirdly enough this week went really fast

#

maybe it's because i know i'm working 3 weeks instead of 1

#

so i'm not really counting the day

#

compare to the other week i worked, this one was very chill

#

only like 3 deliveries in 4 days

#

i hope i won't have some tomorrow

#

i guess this week went fast because of my gf too

#

always so nice to talk with her while i'm on break

#

help me being motivated too

#

can't thank her enough for how much joy, hapiness she bring in my life

#

she's my sunshine

vague mason Aug 11, 2023, 7:52 AM

#

Well might be the worse day yet

#

Taking a small break

#

Have a small back pain, had to rush things and of course had a delivery while I was somewhere so I had to run through almost the whole building

#

Feeling tired too even tho I slept okay

#

Well at least I only have 3 hours left

#

Well I'll get back to it

vague mason Aug 11, 2023, 8:18 AM

#

Should be slow for about 30min now

#

Hoping to not have anymore deliveries nyaaPray

#

Yeah i don't even know why I'm trying to talk in Huddler lol

#

Just want this shift to be over

#

Hoping gf is getting some good rest, never stop thinking about her

#

Feels like I'm forgetting to do something at work be can't see what

#

Hmm maybe not, might have rush things too fast that's why

#

Wish I could listen to music while waiting

vague mason Aug 11, 2023, 9:31 AM

#

8800nosleep

vague mason Aug 12, 2023, 8:08 PM

#

almost forgot to write here today

#

today was good, finally slept a lot, something like 10h or something like that

#

still feeling a bit tired tho lol

#

mostly spent the whole day in my room, either at my pc or in bed just chillaxing

#

today went really fast

vague mason Aug 13, 2023, 7:49 PM

#

Almost forgot to write here again

#

Today was okay

#

Haven't really done anything like yesterday, mostly chillaxing

#

Really don't want to work tomorrow

#

At least I'm not working tuesday so that's motivating a bit

#

it's storming like crazy outside rn

#

Just thinking about work makes me tired

#

Stuck listening to the same song again

#

Usually I don't really care about lyrics, but wow this one is good

vague mason Aug 14, 2023, 7:44 AM

#

Well today might be the worse day of work yet

#

Thought I could never take a break

#

it's raining outside so that's nice

#

Thankfully my gf was there to comfort me, she always make me feel better and happy, love her so much huddleshibaheart

#

Only 3 hours left

#

Happy to not work tomorrow

#

Hoping it's still gonna rain when I drive back home, always love when it's raining

vague mason Aug 14, 2023, 11:26 AM

#

Finally got home

#

Was a tough day

#

But happy I'm not working tomorrow

#

Gf is sleeping, I hope she's getting some good rests and having sweet dreams huddleshibaheart

vague mason Aug 14, 2023, 6:38 PM

#

Second day in a row that i can't play terraria with my gf
it's pretty annoying since i'm always looking forward to do stuff with her
but can always try later or another day
i hope it's gonna work soon

vague mason Aug 15, 2023, 5:06 AM

#

Just got another beautiful gift from my gf, truly warmed my heart. She is my most beautiful gift, I care about her and love her so much. Whether it's in the morning when I wake up, during the day or before going to sleep, there isn't a single minute where I can't stop thinking about her. Really making me the happiest guy ever, and I hope i can make her this happy too. I was gonna say she is my sunshine but she is a lot more than that, she's my everything. ❤️

vague mason Aug 15, 2023, 4:20 PM

#

Finally managed to play Terraria again with my gf, was a lot of fun, always with her, even tho i got carried again mochieyes

#

Still need to play Uno sometimes too, would probably get rekt there too bunnybobatea

#

almost forgot i have work tomorrow :c

#

hmm wednesday tomorrow, last week wednesday was pretty chill so hoping it's gonna be like that again

vague mason Aug 16, 2023, 7:41 AM

#

Another day at work, so far it's okay, back hurt a bit but that's alright

#

Pretty tired tho

vague mason Aug 16, 2023, 9:30 AM

#

An hour and a half left, not deliveries for now so me happy

#

probably gonna take a small nap once I'm home

#

Need to work on something right after

vague mason Aug 16, 2023, 2:32 PM

#

wanted to play Uno but doesn't work sadly :/
a bit bummed but that's alright

vague mason Aug 16, 2023, 3:54 PM

#

played terraria again with my gf :3

#

got carried again blobnomcookie

vague mason Aug 16, 2023, 4:28 PM

#

so here's the gift I was talking about yesterday :

#

Still can't get over how beautiful they are 🥲

#

truly make me the happiest guy ever, never met someone so perfect for me ❤️

#

love her so much 💖

vague mason Aug 17, 2023, 5:42 AM

#

Day 8 of work I think

#

Back hurt

#

And I'm back to not sleeping good again

#

I sleep 4 hours then wake up, can't sleep for 1 hour and then fall back to sleep for like 1 hour

#

Also had nightmares for 2 night straight

#

Haven't happened in such a long time

#

Honestly can't remember the last time I had nightmare

#

I don't even mind being tired, but I hate being sleepy

#

Feels like I still haven't woke up yet

vague mason Aug 17, 2023, 9:03 AM

#

Hmm think I'm chill for 40min something like that

#

Only had 1 delivery so far so that's okay

#

Back still hurt a bit

#

Hoping gf is getting some good rest and sweet dreams

#

Thinking about her always make me feel better

vague mason Aug 17, 2023, 5:36 PM

#

for some reason i thought tomorrow was the last day of work but i still have 1 week left sadness

#

that's one way to ruin the mood :/

#

so today was okay at work

#

was very sleepy tho so i was pretty slow with anything

#

only had 1 delivery so that's good

#

last hour where i usually have nothing to do went fast because gf was on huddleshibaheart

#

as always she made me happy :3

#

she's taking a nap, hope she is resting well bunnylove

vague mason Aug 17, 2023, 6:36 PM

#

sadness

vague mason Aug 18, 2023, 5:42 AM

#

Had a bad night again

#

Woke up at 2am again, went back to sleep at 3am, had a nightmare, woke up at 3:45 and then couldn't sleep until my alarm goes off

#

My eyes are burning just from being open

#

And back pain

vague mason Aug 18, 2023, 8:16 AM

#

Lifting 8 heavy packages was exactly what I needed 8800nosleep

vague mason Aug 18, 2023, 2:19 PM

#

Played Scrabble with my gf again, got very luck lol :3

#

always so happy and fun to do stuff with her huddleshibaheart

vague mason Aug 18, 2023, 10:38 PM

#

GoatSleeper

#

Today was good, too tired to talk about it tho

#

Had lots of fun playing scrabble with gf

#

hoping she is resting well

#

Anyway, time to sleep

vague mason Aug 19, 2023, 5:31 PM

#

guess i'll write here

#

today is okay

#

slept whole morning

#

yeah nvm

#

don't feel like writing

#

ayaka_pray

#

wish i would live alone sometimes

#

too tired of hearing fam arguing every weekends

#

only part of the week i can rest and i can't even chill and be at ease because of that

vague mason Aug 19, 2023, 7:15 PM

#

man why i am tired already

vague mason Aug 20, 2023, 2:00 PM

#

ugh why i am thinking about work

#

only 1 week left thankfully

#

i hope it's not gonna be too tiring

vague mason Aug 21, 2023, 7:34 AM

#

Slept bad again

#

Woke up every hour

#

And still managed to have a nightmare

#

Taking a small break at work rn

#

So far it's been okay, still have had back pain and neck pain

#

Usually I don't have deliveries on Monday so hoping for that

vague mason Aug 21, 2023, 12:04 PM

#

Finally home

#

Resting a bit in bed

#

It's so hot outside

vague mason Aug 21, 2023, 1:48 PM

#

took a nap even tho i didn't wanted to

#

gonna watch Moon knight again

vague mason Aug 21, 2023, 7:59 PM

#

GoatSleeper

vague mason Aug 22, 2023, 5:37 AM

#

Taking a quick break

#

I'm so tired

#

Might gonna try to take sleeping pills again because idk how I'm gonna finish this week otherwise

#

I feel like a zombie

vague mason Aug 22, 2023, 8:28 AM

#

Hoping gf is getting some good rests and sweet dreams, timezones sucks bunnylove eveheart huddleshibaheart

vague mason Aug 22, 2023, 8:00 PM

#

GoatSleeper

vague mason Aug 23, 2023, 5:36 AM

#

Taking a small break

#

Haven't talked about yesterday, but yeah it was probably the most calm day so far

#

I hope today is gonna be the same

#

Even tho my back already hurt

#

I finally managed to sleep a bit better

#

Only woke up once

vague mason Aug 23, 2023, 8:26 AM

#

Well worst day yet

#

Keep running around with deliveries and stuff

#

Might be good for now

#

Can finally take a small break

#

Hoping my gf is going to get some good sleep, always manage to make me feel better even at work bunnylove huddleshibaheart

vague mason Aug 23, 2023, 9:52 AM

#

Headache sadness

vague mason Aug 23, 2023, 7:57 PM

#

Played terraria with my gf again

#

Was really fun :3

#

Got carried again too lol

vague mason Aug 24, 2023, 5:45 AM

#

Taking small break at work

#

Back hurt again

#

Really tired too, haven't slept very good

#

Kept waking up every hour again

#

Not feeling great too for some reason

#

But that's alright, probably because of work

#

Break's over anyway

vague mason Aug 24, 2023, 8:30 AM

#

sadness

vague mason Aug 24, 2023, 9:10 AM

#

Wish I could hug my gf rn

vague mason Aug 24, 2023, 2:43 PM

#

Well it's storming and power keep going out

#

I feel weird again, idk how to explain it

#

Feels like I'm useless

#

idk if it's because I'm tired

vague mason Aug 25, 2023, 5:29 AM

#

Alright last day of work

#

Taking a quick break

#

So far I'm okay

#

Back hurt a bit but that's alright

#

Saw a beautiful fox while driving to work

#

And also there was some beautiful lightning in the sky

#

Gf went to sleep, hope she's getting some good rest, so grateful for her, love her lots bunnylove

vague mason Aug 25, 2023, 7:37 AM

#

It's storming huddleshibaheart

vague mason Aug 25, 2023, 6:48 PM

#

finally played Uno together, got rekt as predicted, she's just too good huddleshibaheart

vague mason Aug 26, 2023, 5:17 PM

#

played terraria again, got rekt and carried again :3

vague mason Aug 26, 2023, 6:56 PM

#

migraine sadness

vague mason Aug 27, 2023, 8:09 PM

#

almost forgot to write here today

#

uh today was good ig

#

didn't do much except orchestra

#

then slept the whole afternoon

#

so yeah that's about it lol

vague mason Aug 28, 2023, 3:28 PM

#

i'll write here before i forget

#

today is okay

#

nothing crazy

#

didn't slept great but i'm not tired

#

happy i got the week off, i can take care of the kittens

#

even tho they don't really are kittens anymore

vague mason Aug 28, 2023, 4:59 PM

#

Thinking about leaving this server

#

Would suck to loose my tags

#

But idk

#

Too much stuff either making me sad or triggered or something else

vague mason Aug 28, 2023, 7:37 PM

#

well back to being bored again

#

might be busy tomorrow

#

not thinking too much about school for now

#

https://tenor.com/view/listening-to-music-gif-21769265

Tenor

vague mason Aug 29, 2023, 7:42 AM

#

Decided I'm gonna mute this server, I'm seeing too many stuff that is hurting me there,
some of them I can't talk about for diverse reasons, but yeah, I'm done seeing stuff when I woke up that almost make me tear up or mad or make me feels like shit,
I'm still very weak mentally and this server is more hurting than helping and sometimes makes me feel like I'm back at the beginning and it's just too much for me,
I'm at a point where even in Lounge there's stuff hurting me.
maybe I'll come back someday but for now it's gonna be on mute

vague mason Sep 2, 2023, 10:16 PM

#

welp, i'm back :3

#

small break was nice, do missed writing here and other stuff tho

#

also i pretty much removed every channel related to mental health stuff etc

#

don't want to get stressed over that again

#

i'm feeling way better than before 💜

vague mason Sep 4, 2023, 12:38 AM

#

GoatSleeper

vague mason Sep 4, 2023, 8:42 AM

#

think i finally managed to find the building that i need to go for school tomorrow

#

just to be sure i'll go visit the school once again later today

vague mason Sep 4, 2023, 8:43 PM

#

Alright, last night before school tomorrow

#

Gonna feel weird after taking a 1 year break

#

As always with new school, I'm feeling mostly stressed but also a bit excited I guess

#

Although it's gonna be completely different from the school I went before, last ones were classes of like 20-30 students, now it's Uni and it's gonna be like 100 students etc

#

So I guess making friends is gonna be a lot harder

#

Honestly I'm just hoping for like 1 or 2 good friends and some nice schedules

#

Still thinks it's useless to have too many friends

#

Also I forgot to post it here, but me and my gf are back together, she's the best, my everything 💜 bunnylove

vague mason Sep 5, 2023, 3:51 PM

#

alright first day of Uni is done

#

was okay, the whole week is gonna be like an introduction week

#

wich i don't mind lol :3

#

then i got a week off

#

also i realized there's gonna be spanish classes too, so i'm doomed, haven't practice spanish in 3 years

#

i have a strong feeling it's gonna be tough to make some friend

#

most of the students are already in group of people they know

#

so yeah, i'll see

vague mason Sep 6, 2023, 10:38 AM

#

Waiting 2pm for next classe

#

Well it's not really a classe, they just gonna show us the whole school, so we probably gonna walk a lot

#

And it's so hot outside

#

This morning we were in group of 20, and of course we had to do the whole introduce yourself to everyone else

#

Well, at first we were in pair of 2, the guy I was with is actually okay, pretty much like me, shy, stress etc

#

But yeah I felt so old, they all are 17-18 years old and I'm 21 lol

vague mason Sep 6, 2023, 4:30 PM

#

Hmm

#

Nah nvm

#

Finally cleared my mind about something tho

#

Still wish I could make actual friends, irl or online, so far one guy is cool irl but we probably won't be in the same group so yeah, and online idk, it's too hard for some reasons

#

Do get those random loneliness waves again sometimes

#

"thankfully" school is here lol

vague mason Sep 6, 2023, 5:06 PM

#

love it when my parents tells me "don't stay alone in school like an idiot" like it's easy

#

they know it's hard for me and still they say that

#

not helping me at all

#

they are "right" in a way, but how i am supposed to make friends when it looks like everyone know each other already

#

i don't even mind sitting alone, i'm used to it, but yeah it sucks

#

makes me worried since that one year where i didn't had any friends it was the worst year of school for me

#

ig i'll do like 3 months and if things are not going well i'll drop out

#

not making the same mistake of continuing something that i don't like again

vague mason Sep 6, 2023, 6:09 PM

#

it's hard to not hate myself sometimes

#

might try therapy after all

#

don't know how and when with school keeping me busy but i'm really starting to consider it

vague mason Sep 7, 2023, 1:30 PM

#

welp i drove to school for nothing, turns out one of the document i sent them awhile ago wasn't good

#

said they "sent an email" back in july, but on the website it says they refused it yesterday lol

vague mason Sep 8, 2023, 9:39 AM

#

Just saw something :/

#

I know nothing will probably happen but yeah

vague mason Sep 8, 2023, 10:00 AM

#

Eh it's probably nothing

#

Not good to think about those stuff too much anyway

vague mason Sep 8, 2023, 3:39 PM

#

well that's the cutest pfp i have gotten yet :3

vague mason Sep 8, 2023, 3:57 PM

#

finally the weekend, still have orchestra later tho

#

today was cool but really hot

#

now i have 1 week off, gonna be able to rest a bit

vague mason Sep 8, 2023, 8:37 PM

#

Drinking a coffee at 10:37pm is probably a mistake catbongo

vague mason Sep 9, 2023, 11:22 AM

#

Well i overslept today lol

#

Felt good getting a long night of sleep tho

vague mason Sep 9, 2023, 5:54 PM

#

well i'm bored so i guess i'm gonna write here a bit

#

playing with orchestra tomorrow for a memorial, should be "okay" i guess

#

just gonna chill this week

#

hmm it's tough to write here now, don't really know what to talk about

#

yeah idk

vague mason Sep 9, 2023, 6:17 PM

#

think i'm gonna read some old group chat

#

ik i probably shouldn't but might be less bored

#

nvm it just ruined my mood

vague mason Sep 9, 2023, 6:47 PM

#

was looking at therapy places but they are pretty far away, most of them aren't even open during weekends anyway and phone calls makes me too anxious

vague mason Sep 10, 2023, 7:54 AM

#

Didn't slept very well, need to prepare for orchestra since we're playing in like an hour and a half, it's for a memorial again, it should be fine

#

Although the weather is so hot already, I hope i won't feel dizzy

vague mason Sep 10, 2023, 11:02 AM

#

Well, i didn't played very well, but with how hot it was outside I guess it was okay

vague mason Sep 10, 2023, 4:37 PM

#

i don't understand why i got ghosted by 2 "friends", things were going good and then no responses at all

#

i'm used to it anyway but still hurts

#

i might end up turning some channels like general mental health chat on and maybe reach out to people that are here

#

even tho i hate reaching out first

#

i just hope it won't drain me like it did last time

vague mason Sep 10, 2023, 6:19 PM

#

sadness

vague mason Sep 11, 2023, 4:33 PM

#

welp haven't done anything today

#

mostly chilled on my pc

#

gonna eat at my grandparents tomorrow

#

but yeah, today was one of those days where i was telling myself "i'm gonna do that, then that etc" but end up doing nothing lol

#

i wish the "prompts" for the journals were a bit better and not the same 5 ones

vague mason Sep 11, 2023, 6:27 PM

#

hmm looking at some journal prompt rn, guess i'll try some of them

#

What is your favorite song/musical piece and why?

#

need to look at my spotify playlist real quick lol

#

it's not easy for me to choose just one

#

favorite one might be this one, used to listen to it when it was raining/storming outside, never felt something this peaceful and relaxing

vague mason Sep 11, 2023, 7:02 PM

#

if i had to choose a second one, it would probably be Death By Glamour from Undertale,
it's funny because the first i listened to it while i was playing, i thought it was good but nothing more, but yeah after listening to it again, it is so good

vague mason Sep 11, 2023, 7:18 PM

#

Do You Like Your First Name? Would You Change It If You Could?

#

i actually really like it, i wouldn't say it's "unique", but definitely not that common in France

#

i wouldn't change it at all :3

#

What is a mistake people often make about you?

#

this one is actually funny, some of my old irl friends once told me that i actually looked cold, mean at first, which is funny because i'm just hella shy and introverted

#

What's your favorite: season, color, place, or food?

#

i guess i'll do all of them

#

favorite season is easily fall, the weather is perfect, nature is beautiful, and there's Halloween catbongo

#

favorite color would be either green or purple, it's hard to really say why tho, there's just beautiful colors imo

#

favorite place isn't really a place but more like a spot, it's in my village near a small river, it's so quiet and peaceful there, used to go fishing there with my grandparents

#

and finally favorite food would be pizza :3

vague mason Sep 11, 2023, 8:37 PM

#

What Movies, Shows, Books, Music, Games or Other Works Have Made a Strong Impression on You?

#

i'm gonna go with a game for this one

#

so the game is Buddy Simulator 1984 and man, what a game

#

the game literally start with just text, and then things get more and more crazy

#

might be the best game i have played in 2023

#

that game made me feel so much different emotions, from happy, to sad, to scared and much more

#

it's hard to say what type of game it is

#

i wasn't expecting much when i started playing it, i ended up playing it for at least 4 hours straight i think

#

there's 4 endings, all of them are great in their own ways

#

i'm listening to one of the ending's song rn and it's so good

#

this game is up there with Superliminal has one of the most surprising game i ever played

vague mason Sep 12, 2023, 7:21 AM

#

alright, slept pretty good, only woke up once but managed to fall back asleep right after, i did have a nightmare but it's best to ignore those stuff

#

it's rare that i say things like that because i hate complimenting myself, but i'm proud of myself, i actually think and take my time before talking, which was something that i wasn't doing before

#

i ended up hurting peoples because of that, so i'm glad it changed

#

still has a lot to work on, but i'm making progress

#

Happy to see my gf sharing things she crocheted, they are hella cute and good, and yeah, really feels like we are perfect for eachother 💜

vague mason Sep 12, 2023, 6:58 PM

#

https://tenor.com/view/listening-to-music-gif-21769265

Tenor

#

sonic mania ost is soooo good

#

never finished it, i shoud when i can

#

What Were the Best and Worst Things About 2022 for You?

#

hmm the best thing about 2022 was probably the time i spent with friends from school, worst thing was being totally alone for the second half of the year

vague mason Sep 12, 2023, 7:49 PM

#

It's raining catbongo

vague mason Sep 13, 2023, 12:04 AM

#

GoatSleeper

vague mason Sep 13, 2023, 9:47 AM

#

Ugh overslept again

vague mason Sep 13, 2023, 8:29 PM

#

Hmm wanted to find new prompts for today but already in bed and it's annoying on phone soooo tomorrow I guess catbongo

#

Gonna visit a market and go to a cafe with grandparents tomorrow

#

Really happy because the market is only open Thursday morning

#

And with school and work I haven't been able to go with them for at least 3 years or something like that

#

So yeah pretty hype :3

vague mason Sep 13, 2023, 9:21 PM

#

Think I found some prompts so might do that now :3

#

If I could have any superpower, what would it be and why?

#

Hmm the first one that comes in mind would be to teleport

#

So either teleport or being able to read people's mind I guess

#

Hmm yeah they aren't that good lol

#

Hmm I got my group for school, and I'm even more confused than before, they said we were gonna be in 1 group, however I'm in multiple ones lol

#

So yeah idk, need to compare it to my schedule to see

#

Yeah I'm hella confused lol

#

I'm in group 3 but for some stuff I'm also in group 1 lol

#

Of course the only group that have school Friday is group 3 catcri

vague mason Sep 13, 2023, 10:36 PM

#

GoatSleeper

vague mason Sep 14, 2023, 6:05 AM

#

Didn't slept very good, had a weird nightmare

vague mason Sep 14, 2023, 8:07 AM

#

alright just got home

#

was pretty fun to hang out with my grandparents

#

turns out it wasn't really a "cafe" but a guy selling coffee on the market

#

was really good tho, and the guy making it was pretty chill too

#

we also bought some food

#

beef, sausages etc

#

the market wasn't as big as before tho

#

before it was exposed on multiple streets

#

now it's just one small street

#

there was like 1 guy selling vegetables, 3 trucks with beef etc and the guy selling coffee and that's it

#

still it was pretty nostagic

vague mason Sep 14, 2023, 8:52 AM

#

man, just trying to understand my schedules for uni is giving me a headache

#

8800nosleep

vague mason Sep 14, 2023, 6:28 PM

#

don't want to talk about today, would be too hard anyway

#

just hoping tomorrow will be better

#

i'm okay ig

#

hoping snow's surgery went well

#

need to drive to school tomorrow morning just to take a picture of the schedules....

#

won't do prompts tonight, not motivated

vague mason Sep 14, 2023, 6:59 PM

#

roosadpanda

#

that emoji is a mood

vague mason Sep 14, 2023, 9:54 PM

#

panda_sleep

vague mason Sep 15, 2023, 10:12 PM

#

Hmm forgot to write here today

#

Still sick, haven't done much today

#

Just drove to get meds and groceries, otherwise just stayed in bed all day

#

I'm tired but not tired, ig it's the sickness doing that

#

Shoulder hurt a bit for some reason idk why 🤷‍♂️

vague mason Sep 15, 2023, 10:44 PM

#

panda_sleep

vague mason Sep 16, 2023, 5:22 AM

#

Slept okay considering I'm sick

vague mason Sep 16, 2023, 10:49 AM

#

Welp I overslept

#

And yeah still sick

#

And feeling like shit again, so I feel like today is gonna be one of those day

vague mason Sep 16, 2023, 2:07 PM

#

roosadpanda

vague mason Sep 16, 2023, 6:19 PM

#

Just want this day to end

vague mason Sep 16, 2023, 11:13 PM

#

Hmmm I'm an idiot

#

Was freezing for like 10mins just to realize that the AC was on....

#

And that's probably why I was coughing too...

#

Not gonna help my sickness too..

vague mason Sep 16, 2023, 11:37 PM

#

Thought my sickness was going away but nope, just threw up 516395crythumbsup

vague mason Sep 17, 2023, 12:15 AM

#

Kinda tempted to write here but ik it's just gonna be sad stuff etc so idk

#

This sickness make me so weak

#

I'm even struggling to hold my phone sadness

#

Yeah I'll just go to sleep sadness

vague mason Sep 17, 2023, 6:55 AM

#

Don't think I ever felt this terrible

#

Sick and stressed at the same time

#

sadness

#

Idk why i came back to this server

#

I don't think I'm gonna go to school tomorrow

#

Might as well drop out from it...

#

I'm a failure anyway

#

I keep hurting people that I love

#

I hate myself

vague mason Sep 17, 2023, 8:18 AM

#

Blood pressure got too high and my mom got worried so I'm at the ER rn...

#

I just hope I'll get out of there quickly

vague mason Sep 17, 2023, 8:36 AM

#

They put me under some medicine

#

It's calming me a bit

vague mason Sep 17, 2023, 11:10 AM

#

Alright my mom is driving me home, got prescription for meds but it's Sunday so that will wait tomorrow

vague mason Sep 17, 2023, 12:03 PM

#

Finally home, the meds they prescribed are antidepressants, meds for blood pressure and some for stress

#

I hate to rely on meds

#

But feels like they are no other way...

vague mason Sep 17, 2023, 9:57 PM

#

panda_sleep

vague mason Sep 18, 2023, 6:39 AM

#

Slept okay, had a nightmare again but that's alright

#

Finally got my missing schedules and I wish I didn't had them

#

Tuesday and Wednesday from 6pm to 9:30pm

#

And i have a 45min drive to go home sadness

vague mason Sep 18, 2023, 11:24 AM

#

At least the good news is that I don't have 4 hours of Spanish per week but only 1 ayaka_pray

vague mason Sep 18, 2023, 4:05 PM

#

Finally got home, first day was okay

#

Monday might be the most chill day I think, only 3 classes, 2 of them are hella chill

#

There's Spanish class but it's not that bad, teacher look chill too

#

Would have preferred to go into the right classroom for Spanish, instead I went into accounting Daroldsus

#

Was kinda awkward leaving lol

#

also gonna stay at the hotel every Wednesday, would be too tiring to go back home two days in a row at 8:15pm

vague mason Sep 18, 2023, 5:47 PM

#

Hmm my mom forgot to go grab my pills, eh it's fine, I'm feeling good, probably will have them tomorrow

#

I'm hella tired tho

vague mason Sep 18, 2023, 9:23 PM

#

Still have the best gf ever 💜
Time to sleep panda_sleep

vague mason Sep 19, 2023, 5:20 AM

#

Really not feeling it today sadness
Woke up multiple times and nightmare
Getting those mood swings again too

#

sadness

vague mason Sep 19, 2023, 8:03 AM

#

First class done, was translation class

vague mason Sep 19, 2023, 4:11 PM

#

The one time I'm there early for a class the teacher is still not there 8800nosleep

#

Seats are comfy tho, at least there's that

#

Still not there

vague mason Sep 19, 2023, 6:01 PM

#

Finally got home, decided to left after waiting for like 35 mins

#

already 8pm and hella tired but I'm alright

#

Gf cheered me up as always

#

Still surprised I have such a great gf too, always making me happy eveheart

vague mason Sep 19, 2023, 9:23 PM

#

panda_sleep

vague mason Sep 20, 2023, 2:17 PM

#

sadness

#

As always I mess up

#

Just want to vanish rn

#

I don't even know why I'm still going to school

#

Ik I'll fail anyway

#

Tempted to not wait for next class and just go home

#

Everytime I try to do something I just mess up and disappoint

#

Ig I'll try one month or two and if I'm still struggle I'll just drop out and look for a job

#

I kinda wanna avoid this server for like a month, ig I'll just grind coins and that's it

#

It's hard not to cry rn

vague mason Sep 20, 2023, 6:51 PM

#

roosadpanda

#

well today was a shitty day

#

just got home and it's almost already 9pm sadness

#

tired and back hurt

#

at least tomorrow i finish at 3pm

#

might be able to rest a bit

#

haven't been tired like that in a long time

vague mason Sep 20, 2023, 9:11 PM

#

panda_sleep ❤️

vague mason Sep 21, 2023, 7:38 AM

#

First class was annoying

#

Next one starting in 20min

#

Slept okay, only woke up once, think I slept like 5-6 hours

#

Finishing at 3pm so I'm glad

vague mason Sep 21, 2023, 9:22 AM

#

Got 3 hours without anything to do

vague mason Sep 21, 2023, 10:37 AM

#

One thing I forgot to talk about earlier

#

When I was leaving the class, a guy asked me where I got my vest from

#

Turns out he likes the yakuza games too lol

#

Don't think anyone, especially in France knew about those games

#

Kinda weirded me out at first because I don't think anyone ever asked me about clothes I was wearing lol

vague mason Sep 21, 2023, 2:21 PM

#

It's storming catbongo

vague mason Sep 21, 2023, 7:36 PM

#

Hmm

#

Today was ok

#

Still exhausted

#

Neck been hurting the whole day

#

Still getting those mood swings

#

Which I hate

#

Idk how I can go to be really happy to just being sad or depressed or else without anything happening in particular

#

Still conflicted on the whole friends things

#

I want some but also don't want

#

Still thinking school is not gonna go well

#

Ig I'll see in a month or 2 what do I do

#

roosadpanda

#

Here I go, I'm stressed for no reason at all

vague mason Sep 21, 2023, 9:23 PM

#

panda_sleep

vague mason Sep 22, 2023, 6:10 AM

#

sadness

#

Whatever I do it's never good enough sadness

vague mason Sep 22, 2023, 7:15 AM

#

I just feel useless

vague mason Sep 22, 2023, 1:07 PM

#

At least it's raining

vague mason Sep 22, 2023, 1:38 PM

#

My head is a mess

#

But I'm feeling a bit better

vague mason Sep 22, 2023, 3:03 PM

#

School is stressing me still, don't think I'm made for university, I'll see what I'll do

#

Still wish I could have some sort of therapy

#

I think they have something like that at uni but I don't have the time to go there

#

Got orchestra tonight, will probably ease my mind

#

Didn't wanted to go at first, but already didn't went last week, and staying in my room without doing anything won't help either

vague mason Sep 22, 2023, 10:24 PM

#

panda_sleep 💜

vague mason Sep 23, 2023, 5:34 AM

#

Hoping my sunshine get some good sleep eveheart

#

Might go back to sleep too

vague mason Sep 23, 2023, 4:41 PM

#

Another beautiful poem by my gf, way better than mine, best gf ever, love her so much bunnylove 💜

#

:3

vague mason Sep 24, 2023, 7:56 PM

#

mochieyes

#

almost forgot about writing here lol

#

today's been pretty good

#

haven't done much today, mostly chillaxing

#

wanted to do homework for the whole week but got lazy lol

#

eh it's fine, i'll do some tomorrow since i have a 3h break

#

first week of Uni was alright

#

hoi panda1

#

tuesday and wednesday are the worst days so far

#

because i finish at 7:30pm

#

monday is really chill, only 3h of classes, and two of them are just listening to the teacher talking :3

#

friday might be the best day, only 1 class from 10am to noon, and the teacher is hella chill, and pretty much told us that class was useless lol

#

thursday is just like monday, 3h of classes with two of them just listening

#

just remembered i have spanish class tomorrow 8800nosleep

#

eh the teacher is chill so it will be fine

vague mason Sep 24, 2023, 10:26 PM

#

panda_sleep 💜

vague mason Sep 25, 2023, 7:12 AM

#

Slept pretty good, and gf is on before I leave so I'm happy catbongo bunnylove

vague mason Sep 25, 2023, 11:34 AM

#

On break, did most of my homework for this week

vague mason Sep 25, 2023, 12:39 PM

#

Waiting for Spanish class, I hope it's the right room ayaka_pray

#

Might skip if it's not the right one, tired of searching the right room everytime 8800nosleep

#

I think it's the right one ayaka_pray

#

Sucks that I can't use my phone during Spanish tho

vague mason Sep 25, 2023, 2:16 PM

#

Spanish was alright, everyone is lost in Spanish like me so I feel better lol

vague mason Sep 25, 2023, 5:10 PM

#

this headache 8800nosleep

#

sadness

vague mason Sep 25, 2023, 6:15 PM

#

Another beautiful poem by my gf, warmed my heart reading that, she's my everything too 💜❤️ bunnylove

vague mason Sep 25, 2023, 9:20 PM

#

panda_sleep 💜

vague mason Sep 26, 2023, 5:19 AM

#

Welp, won't go to school today, still got my migraine and I can't drive with it

vague mason Sep 26, 2023, 8:36 AM

#

Everytime my migraine start to go away I start coughing and it's making it worse sadness

vague mason Sep 26, 2023, 10:41 AM

#

Yup back to coughing a lot... roosadpanda

vague mason Sep 26, 2023, 11:28 AM

#

Went to eat lunch at my grandparents, as always they cheer me up and make me laugh

#

I will never get bored of hearing stories from my grandma, even if it's some that I already heard, it's always making me laugh and smile

#

Always feels so nice too

#

Listening to her while drinking a nice cup of hot coffee

#

Kinda make me wanna go back to when I was still just a kid, was spending my whole day at their place since my parents were working in the morning and didn't wanted to let me stay at home alone

#

Still glad they live very close to me

#

I'm still coughing, migraine is almost gone, just can't move my head to fast

vague mason Sep 26, 2023, 1:00 PM

#

Still wish I wouldn't cough that much

vague mason Sep 26, 2023, 6:04 PM

#

My friend from school finally texted me about what they did today, they didn't do much so I'm glad

#

Decided i'mma stay at home again tomorrow

#

Coughing too much to drive and my neck feels stiff

#

Still wish doctors would find what I have but oh well

#

As long as it don't get worse or don't get like before it's fine

vague mason Sep 26, 2023, 6:44 PM

#

roosadpanda

vague mason Sep 26, 2023, 7:00 PM

#

Feeling better already, was just a small mood swings, as always my gf is the best and cheer me up 💜

vague mason Sep 26, 2023, 9:57 PM

#

Back here again

#

Gf went to take a nap, hope she's resting well and gonna feel better 💜

#

Felt pretty weak all of the sudden

#

Had to lay down in bed

#

It's already midnight anyway

#

Teared up for no reasons again 2 minutes ago

#

still think I'm heading straight up into a wall with school

#

I'm still gonna try but yeah

vague mason Sep 26, 2023, 10:18 PM

#

if you had the chance, what's one thing you would tell your younger self?

#

Probably something like "hang in there"

#

Depends on how younger

#

"kid" self I would say to enjoy the moment

#

If it's teenager's self then yeah hang in there

#

Hmm

#

Only one thing is hard

#

I'm gonna get some sleep

#

panda_sleep 💜

vague mason Sep 27, 2023, 4:45 AM

#

Didn't slept great

#

Didn't had a nightmare or anything but just doesn't feel rested

#

Still coughing

vague mason Sep 27, 2023, 6:58 AM

#

Well that's a good thing I didn't went to school today since migraine is back

#

Don't wanna stay in bed all day tho

vague mason Sep 27, 2023, 12:34 PM

#

hmm bored again

#

i think i don't want to do anything because i don't want time to pass

#

although tomorrow should be chill at school

#

so idk why i'm not looking forward to it

#

i hate when at the start of the day i'm telling myself "i'm gonna do that, that, etc" and then i end up doing nothing

#

always been like that

#

especially when it's hollidays etc

#

roosadpanda

vague mason Sep 27, 2023, 2:21 PM

#

emogis

vague mason Sep 27, 2023, 5:09 PM

#

hmmm

#

prob won't go to school tomorrow (again)

#

just wanna rest

#

still not feeling a 100% good so yeah

#

feeling better tho

#

kinda overheating sometimes but that's fine

#

hmm i wanna write but idk about what

#

just saw they are making a Devil May Cry anime catbongo

#

only watched 2 anime in my whole life but maybe i'll give it a shot

#

still need to start reading again

#

hmm actually it's better i don't think about the first anime i watched, reminds me of someone that i used to miss but not anymore

#

before got social media etc i use to read soooo much comics

#

was pretty much the only thing to do back then anyway

#

had no social media because my fam didn't wanted me to, which i totally see why and agree

#

and our internet was terrible here anyway back then

#

i still have most of my simpsons comics in my room

#

still got the futurama X simpsons one too catbongo

#

totally forgot about sonic comics too bunnybobatea catbongo

#

still remember that one day i got home from school, and my mom had bought me the first season of Sonic X on DVD's

#

i'm sure i could still find it, it's probably in my room

#

it's on netflix anyway catbongo

#

haven't watch the new sonic show yet, idk if it's good

#

still have my first plushie who is a tail plushie catbongo

#

well technically second plushie, first one was a rabbit plushie that my grandma crafted :3

#

CH_DanceBoi

#

that emoji will always make me laugh lol

#

it's a vibe ig

#

i miss playing Mario Kart on the DS and WII

#

still remember playing Sonic Adventure for the first time

#

was my very first game on PC

#

and first game ever was sonic 1 i think

#

on the SEGA Megadrive if i remember correctly

#

used to play so much pacman too

#

glad i grew up with classics games like that

#

damn i'm already feeling tired

#

not even 8pm

vague mason Sep 27, 2023, 6:18 PM

#

still hard to believe i found someone that is perfect for me 💜

#APA's venting zone