guess I should start one of these, not sure what I should talk about but I guess I’ll figure it out as I go <3
#dia’s journal <3
bitter isle
(oh and I have an introduction if you wanna know the basics about me, although a bit off since I’m already 16 now 
)
bitter isle
I’ll write a recap of the day since it’s 9 pm already.
well last night and I had my mandatory monthly terrible mental breakdown so I only slept 3 hours after that, and the start of my day continued the breakdown, but I’d say at around 4 pm I started feeling a bit better. felt like shit physically, since the breakdown and small amount of sleep ended giving me a headache but it’s okay.
on the positive end tho, got to talk to my fave person a bit earlier and finally packed all my clothes for monday, and soon I have to pack up the misc stuff I’m bringing
I’ll share which plushies I bring if I decide later or in the morning <3
bitter isle
think I’ve decided on my Stanley squishmallow and pui pui molcar plushie (he’s a bit creepy but he’s soft and very nice for cuddles)
bitter isle
woke up very very early today…at least to me lol. it’s 10 am now but I woke up at 9, feeling very excited to go on vacation hopefully not too much to the point where I over excite myself buttttt…it’s alrighty hehe. I really need some caffeine tho, very sleepy dia is closing off this journal entry 
as for the prompt:
what did I do last week that I am proud of??
well, last week I finished the pride top I was working on! (have to tweak it a bit, the straps are a bit too thin imo), and almost exactly a week ago today I started tracking how long I’ve been clean from self harm. very proud of dia rn, even if I don’t show it often 
bitter isle
had another mental breakdown today. fuck me.
bitter isle
im not updating this as much as I would love to…so maybe I’ll start sending songs I have in my head that day. it happens a lot, i feel like there’s always a new song circulating my consciousness lmao
anyworm, the song of the day today is: https://youtu.be/6tPTrgGptU0
bitter isle
woke up today to this: really making me feel motivated having the number that high so far <333 /gen
I guess I’ll post the song of the day around 2 pm as well? well, lemme see which one is in my head rn
bitter isle
oops I keep skipping the song of the day…memory is not my forte yall
bitter isle
song of the day is: https://youtu.be/_9yhDpVUK3Q
bitter isle
song of the day is: https://youtu.be/UC_DEFT1CYs
bitter isle
song of the day:
https://youtu.be/0hD-Z1q_ZyI
bit of an update, my mood swings have gotten really bad and I think I’m starting to have manic episodes. maybe from the lack of sleep? but the good parts have been so amazing recently <3 ive been playing so many games with a bunch of my friends and they’re all so sweet and amazing and it always puts a huge smile on my face and I laugh so much the whole time…only thing is I still feel bad about the whole online thing. like all I want is to hug them yk? 
but other than that, I’ve been doing pretty great
bitter isle
bitter isle
I’m gonna take a break. bye everyone. don’t worry, I’m not leaving forever, just a break. ily all. thank you for everything you’ve done for me so far and continuing to be here for me. I’ll see you all in a few days. 
bitter isle
am here for a second…I feel lonely.
bitter isle
am backy from breaky I think
bitter isle
I miss her but I fucked up and now I feel like a horrible person and I feel bad for wanting her here
bitter isle
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I had yummy coffee really early this morning (iced french vanilla latte from maccies 
)
bitter isle
hihi
I love you all
thank you all for your support and love and care
idk what I’d do without you all…
I’ll try and update this everyday if I can, and if I remember
since I’m a little bit of a big dumby girl and don’t have the brain cells to remember much 
damn this felt good
anywormmmm
what did I do last week that I’m proud of
taking care of myself after overdosing id say I’m proud of
bitter isle
I slept
bitter isle
I’ve been doing pretty well
and I think there’s maybe someone I really like but
I’ll give it time
bitter isle
I got some stuff todayyy
some of the yarn I got (the only one not in the pic is the dark brown for timmys ears, it’s hidden under the green one 
)
bitter isle
I’ve been playing a lot of stardew with one of my fave people rn, and I’ve been having so much fun, im really starting to get back into this game now and it makes me so happy
bitter isle
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bitter isle
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bitter isle
I guess I should do daily check ins so my journal can be a bit more interesting, and I’m so sorry sans but I’m gonna steal your shits and number my entries 
so, I guess we’ll start with
♡☆・daily entry #1・☆♡
eh. middle part of my day was great, but at the end of the night I started having a suicidal breakdown. it didn’t last too long, but I knew it was coming. I slept for a total of maybe 2 hours last night, but stayed awake almost the entire night super paranoid for no reason- but that’s mental health I guess <3
doing good now tho, just trying to unwind the rest of tonight. and I went to a lake today and got some yummy ice cream, I’ll post some nice pics
actually first- shit I bought today!!
bought a squish mystery squad (and ofc looked through the holes at the bottom of the bag to get the kitty I wanted <333)
saw a buncha cute squish today and I didn’t know they had more pokemon themed squish out
okie, time for other pics
bitter isle
♡☆・daily entry #2・☆♡
today was…a rollercoaster. start of the day, absolutely horrible. I barely got any sleep last night again, and had a disgusting traumatic dream. mid day was amazing, I had a lot of fun and felt pretty good. but not that long ago I had a mental breakdown again and couldn’t stop crying for a while. but I feel good now, so it’s okay. just working on my sweater, and I’m almost done with the graph part, so almost done with the front panel. 
bitter isle
idk if I have the time for a daily entry rn, so I’ll just share some music im loving rn to make up for past days lmao
bitter isle
bitter isle
♡☆・daily entry #3 ・☆♡
today was pretty goood. had take out for the second night in a row, and I’m learning more Japanese every day and I feel so motivated to keep learning finished volume 6 of spy family, tryna finish all 9 out rn till the 10th comes out in…..fucking shit TWO DAYS I HAVE TWO DAYS LEFT 
technically 3 but STILL AAAA
and I felt pretty dang cute today so that’s always a plus. and started watching an anime as well but spy fam is my main focus atm. alrighty I’m done yapping, so, バイバイ for now
bitter isle
♡☆・daily entry #4 ・☆♡
eh. not much to report on mate. almost done with spy fam 7 so I’ve only got a bit to go till I’m ready for 10. my mums going into the dentist tomorrow and I’m a bit scared. I just hope she’s okay. but as of rn, things are going good. I have amazing people around me, and while I wish I had them irl, im so grateful for having them around even if it’s just through a screen. I won’t divulge details, but I really like someone atm and he reciprocates those same feelings. it just makes me so happy, even though I feel deep down I knew he liked me lol. but I just hope things go well, and I’m so thankful for having him in my life. he’s such a wonderful and sweet and thoughtful person, and I feel so warm when I get to talk to him.
as for other things, I didn’t study today as much as I would’ve liked, but I gave myself a small off day since yesterday was a bit ass. I just don’t wanna overwork myself too much. and I’m almost done with the flower world in mario 3d world. but I finished the last boss remixed level and didn’t get the top of the flag pole
anyworm tho. I’m in love and it feels amazing. okie, バイバイ for now 
damn. said “not much to report on” but wrote probably one of my longest entries lmao.
bitter isle
♡☆・daily entry #5・☆♡
hihiiii, not much to report on today (but fr this time)
my mum is doing a bit better, i finished volume 9 of spy family, still keeping up with my Japanese learning (and I’m excited for more tomorrow 
), and I’ve just been doing pretty well all together. I feel like maybe it’s sort of a turning point for me and my life…I feel so genuinely happy every day, just at the most mundane things, and it’s gave me so much hope for the future. but yeah. baibai 
bitter isle
♡☆・daily entry #6・☆♡
uhhh…horrible. that’s all I’ll say.
bitter isle
♡☆・daily entry #7 ・☆♡
AAAAAA. love. eli. kpop. crochet. all my faves things rn
I feel so happyyyy, I feel like he likes me and he treats me so well. he makes me feel so loved and special and I wouldn’t trade it for anything
bitter isle
♡☆・daily entry #8・☆♡
doing really great, talked about some serious stuff with the guy I’ve been falling for and he was so fucking sweet about all of it. he’s such a sweetheart and I feel so happy around him ❤️
and tomorrow, im gonna go shopping and hopefullyyyyy find the new jeans album I want! as well as get some new shoes and yarn (I’ll post them here when I get them)
thank you for tuning in, I’ll see you tomorrow
bitter isle
