Yun‘s soul storm brewery of negative thoughts | Huddle | Page 2

sinful anchor Nov 30, 2025, 1:22 PM

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Ive never felt so much hopelessnes than i have now

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Idk what to do anymore with my life its genuinely at the last phase now

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The last phase being that im either rotting for the next 80 years with only miserability and just more bullying and just more worse stuff and no good outcome with just more more more more more evil towards me

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Or i take easy way out

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Deadass i have nothing to live for anymore

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My belief system is destroyed

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Im being bullied again

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Idk what to do anymore

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80 years of hell is the thing that lies before me

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And whatever i do is not gonna change anything

sinful anchor Dec 12, 2025, 6:05 AM

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Please let me die

sinful anchor Dec 31, 2025, 2:49 PM

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I wish i had the option to never talk to humans again and my brain not punishing me for it

sinful anchor Jan 8, 2026, 3:12 PM

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the urge to kill someone has never been bigger

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and theres a specific gender who is responsible for the last years of my TORTUREOUS psychological pain that i have to endure every single fucking day im at school

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and they get it away with it cause they are seen as ''the empaths'' ''that gender wouldnt do that''

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''b-b-but just because of a few-'' STFU!

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I HAVE BEEN IN 3 DIFFERNET CLASSES

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AND ALL OF THEM I HAVE BEEN BULLIED BY (THEM)

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Because of my neruodivergency

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they are evil

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and i cannot do anything against it#

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you guys dont know how much my heart aches every single day

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theres no escape

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this is hell

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actual hell

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why

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why

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why

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hasnt god put me trough enough tests?

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5 years of torture

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what did i do so bad to deserve that?

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i have been pscgology tortured for 5 years with no light at the end of the tunnel

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and theres 3 years more ahead of me with the same class cause of my forced

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thing that i wanna graduate

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why havent i killed myself several years ago

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why did i trust this reality to be better at any point in my life

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it will only get worse

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i fucking hate this reality so much and i see every human as a hollow

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every human that dies and suffers puts a smile on my face

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no one of them is innocent

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im a sadist to sadists

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i have been a kind soul

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yet ive grown so bitter due to these ''humans''

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they dont deserve any right to live

sinful anchor Jan 14, 2026, 2:47 PM

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Let me share my seasonal feelings every year so far

Winter: Hell, worst time of my life. Suicidal risk
Spring: depression from winter
Summer: recovering from traumas
Spring: recovered, a tiny little optimism about the future
Winter: Everything breaks in pieces again

sinful anchor Jan 19, 2026, 2:38 AM

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my whole life is a tale of the romans and the japanese

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fuck my life

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i wish i was never born

sinful anchor Jan 19, 2026, 3:18 AM

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you know maybe this world wouldnt be so hard if i atleast met someone irl whose me

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A similar version of me

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so i finally had someone i could finally understand on

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and they understand me

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but that will sadly never exist

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all that i am now is a dissapointment to my family

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and i hate living due to the fact that i am just a waster of my families ressources

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i dont have the capability to return the affection and love they give to me

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this is one of the major reasons when i consider suicide because then it may be a major blow to my family

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but i cant stand seeing my family try for me

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a hopeless case

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its like multiplying with 0

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0 times 5 is still 0

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I am almost 21 now

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i am past due to growth or major changes

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im a failure and a hopeless case

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a lottery for any therapist

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to use me till my last breath and suck off the ressoruces of my family

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i dont wanna do this

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i dont wanna keep living in this state

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i have no escape for this

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i did not wanna go down low and i got punished for it

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every day is hell

sinful anchor Feb 10, 2026, 2:38 PM

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I thought about whatd happen if my mother died anytime

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And i dont know what would happen to me

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I feel like the guilt would be too much

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Same with my brother

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Idk

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The guilt of being a useless parasite to them i think i could never live on

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I wish i was different

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But maybe i should feel this guilt

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I havent been living

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Years of my life has been traversing and surviving trough severe anxiety

sinful anchor Feb 10, 2026, 5:11 PM

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Sighh

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I think suicide is not something i can escape in the future

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My teenage years were horrible

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Im too anxious to do anything at my young adult years

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Probably only will live life at a old age where im already wrinkled and ugly

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More ugly than i already am

sinful anchor Mar 11, 2026, 2:29 PM

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I wish i had a partner who was a bit similar to me

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I wish i was gay cause then id have a partner of that sort

sinful anchor Jun 1, 2026, 7:50 PM

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theres something severely wrong with me

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i have lost my face

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i have nothing anymore to stand on and i am a failure and my body has turned completely hostile to my desires

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im turning into everything i hate

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despite all my effort i have failed over and over and over

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im a self sabotaging loser

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this is the first time i truly just hate myself and i mean myself the soul and cannot blame it to anything else but me

#Yun‘s soul storm brewery of negative thoughts