So I did some more slouthing... found this.. https://www.reddit.com/r/selfhosted/comments/10c6w7j/notes_about_email_setup_with_authentik/
because the account i setup was a gmail I re-checked and we never set up 2factor and an app password. So I went back into .env and added the app password in place of the actual password.
then had to jump through a bunch of stuff because i apparently dont know how to use docker to get the damn thing to stop all containers and restart them (just in case the .env changes need it to be restarted) and still nothing with the Test button or the terminal commands.
Can someone help me I think I've exhausted all my avenues.