any autistic people up in here

[timber verge]

my meltdowns has been very intense

[hidden ivy]

Mine can be intense to

[late tangle]

Someone signed back! I am at Meijer and am non verbal and someone complimented my fidgit and then I signed to matt to respond but she signed back!!

[rose plaza]

That's so great!

[late tangle]

It made me Soo happy

[inland solar]

That's amazing :DDDDD

[brazen stone]

I have a question, multiple people have brought it up to me and ive looked st it a little but it seems that the non verbal community prefers that when people cant speak because of whatever for a period of time they prefer if we dont use currentlu nonverbal but use instead verbal shutdown, thoughts and opinions? I have been trying to incorperate verbal shutdown into my vocabulary and remove currently nonverbal

[proven hull]

So nonverbal as a word doesn't imply a cause or a Time frame. Saying verbal shutdown, implies that they are verbal to begin with and that they will be temporarily nonverbal. So it's a matter of semantics to describe more details about the nonverbal behavior.

At least in a purely linguistic sense. I personally don't have a preference to it and generally just call it a shutdown.

[small creek]

finally reached out to a professional about getting an autism assessment :))) this has been three years in the making

[inland solar]

That's so great, I'm so happy for u!

[proven hull]

Amazing. I am seeking mine but the wait time is insane.

[wicked pulsar]

(all opinion as I'm aware many feel differently to me)
I personally prefer shut down because I prefer to term "non speaking". Non verbal implies I cannot verbalise at all but for me personally I often can still vocalise but speaking is limited or impossible

Verbal shut down catches far more different (but similar) experiences and is more inclusive than non verbal. And as Danny said it also implies an episode rather than a neutral state

[steel pewter]

I like the word verbal shutdown more cause it's liguistically accurate

[brazen stone]

Yea

[eager jungle]

I finally got diagnosed with level 2 autism :D

[inland solar]

yay im so happy for u! :DDDD <3

[brazen stone]

Yayy congrats

[late tangle]

That's what I am too!

[median geode]

Congratulations

[dim root]

I'm in Spain at the moment and getting overwhelmed with all the heat and people

[median geode]

I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling overwhelmed in Spain can you do anything to cool down?

[dim root]

I can go in the pool but it's too crowded

[median geode]

Oh where are you staying?

[dim root]

Gran canaria pureto rico

[median geode]

That sounds lovely

[late tangle]

Not having a good day.

Two meltdowns

I am at the point where if I touch something unpleasant I am going to just cry. It has happened multiple times.

My foot hurts, I got shots so I am sore and overstimulated and miserable

[vagrant temple]

Aw man, I hope you feel better soon

[median geode]

I hope you get better soon

[tacit whale]

Had an early lunch last year to help with overstimulation, was great. There was only about 5 of us out of the whole school who had it. Now, the new year 7s have joined the school and that number has gone from 5 to 43?!?! Surely HALF of the year 7s don’t need this specific accommodation? Well, thanks to that I’ve now had my pass revoked. Not only is the lunch room overstimulating I am being bullied by 3 girls in the lunch line every day. I’ve decided to just stop eating lunch all together.

My mum emailed the SENCO lady and my head of year twice asking for my pass back but they refused

[modern veldt]

That must be incredibly frustrating a similar thing happened at my school but I managed to keep my passes. I know it’s probably difficult but the best thing I can recommend is talking to your head of year in person and try and get though to them that way.

[tacit whale]

Yeah I’ll try

[patent spear]

That sounds really frustrating, I can't personally relate but I know how overstimulating school canteens can be (so I avoid going in if I can help it)
Until things get sorted, I would suggest maybe bringing in your own lunch if there's somewhere else you can eat that? It's better than eating nothing and feeling hangry and tired all afternoon

[slow plinth]

In getting diagnosed soon my parents still don’t believe me after showing them months worth of research

[fervent basin]

Omg I’m in the same situation. It sucks I know :(

[untold valve]

Anyone else have verbal shutdowns? What do you use to communicate during them? I’ve been using an AAC board app and learning some ASL.

[eager jungle]

communication cards, notes app, text the person, general hand gestures, writing, emojis. maybe more i can’t think of.

Nanette ↩️

[Reply to:](#1176007949034995753 message) Anyone else have verbal shutdowns? What do you use to communicate during them? I’ve been using an AA…

[untold valve]

Ooh communication cards sound like a good idea thanks!

[eager jungle]

here’s a health forum thingy. :) /nf

https://discord.com/channels/746479068186279966/1252703434747019266

Nanette ↩️

[Reply to:](#1176007949034995753 message) Ooh communication cards sound like a good idea thanks!

[spare smelt]

Very sometimes. I used to get them more and thought about communication cards but for me its not necessary anymore

[untold valve]

Thank you!!! ☺️

[untold valve]

Mm yeah I don’t get them as often as I used to as well but when I do they tend to be in high stress or emergency situations so I need to be prepared

[spare smelt]

Aah. I also can still write a bit if im not too overwhelmed

[snow cosmos]

I made a homemade card to give my parents if I don’t want to talk or can’t talk because I’m so overwhelmed and it gives stuff for them to do for me like leave me alone

[spare smelt]

I have a mood octopus so i could use that in school

[snow cosmos]

Thats cool yah!

[spare smelt]

They colour coded it wrong in my opinion but idc

[snow cosmos]

Oh that’s annoying though

[spare smelt]

It was the only one they had and i wanted it

[south blaze]

I go non verbal not that
Often so when it does happen pepole can get confused

[ebon current]

which app do you use??? :)

[ebon current]

You can't "go nonverbal", the term you are looking for is verbal shutdown. Or even selective mutism (if it's situation based), or autism mutism. It is offensive to the actually nonverbal/nonspeaking community to use that term and it waters down the meaning of it :). this is what the nonverbal community has decided.

[rose plaza]

I'm learning DGS (German sign language) and made communication cards. I also have a simple text chat app on my phone

[rose plaza]

I have one too but for at home so my parents can see
If I'm feeling really bad I will flip it and put it in front of the door to my room

[south blaze]

Sorry I didn’t know that thanks for telling me the correct term

[spare smelt]

i dont really have a place in front of my bedroom door where i can put it except the stairs but thats not a good place for it

[untold valve]

I currently use AAC Cboard by Martin Bedouret on the iOS App Store! I like it because it’s completely free and has community made boards but it’s a bit buggy when rearranging tiles so I might move to a different app

[untold valve]

Nice!

[true willow]

Hey guys I need some advice with something, I know I'm in process of getting a formal diagnosis but is there any help or accommodation to use in a verbal shutdown? It mostly happens when I'm having a shutdown or even after a meltdown, it has happened since I can remember, and my relatives tend to get mad because they don't understand that I actually can't talk at that moment. It's so frustrating cuz I even tend to cry but NO WORDS come out in that moment.

I have family members who have autism formal diagnosis but I'm not really close to them or can really talk with them so I'm assuming it might be part of it too

I've been trying to investigate about it lately, but I still don't know why it happens.

It's so sad that they think that I'm ignoring them or trying to be rude but I'm actually not, it just gets too overwhelming and they don't seem to understand neither do I.

How do I communicate in that situation without making them mad?

[late tangle]

Aac apps

I can give you a list if you want. I use two different ones

[steel pewter]

Can I also get some aac app recs? /nf
Most of the ones I've found have been frusterating and difficult

[late tangle]

yep. I use android btw.

so I can't promise that both of these will work on iphones

[steel pewter]

I have an android as well so that's fine

[late tangle]

ok. good

I use Talk FREE when I can type words out, but just can't say them. and I use AAC Cboard when I need the buttons and can't even spell them out. The other one I use is Leeloo. That one cost 50$ for a lifetime subscription. AAC Cboard is much more customizable

but I like Leeloo because of the pictures and its very cute.

the links are in pic and videos

thats the only place I can put links as far as I can te;;

tell

[halcyon musk]

if you do have the money tho I do recommend supporting Cboard too it's an open source project so they're dependant on donations

[late tangle]

How would I go about doing that

[halcyon musk]

through their website I think they have a donation link somewhere

[rose plaza]

I don't know about without making them mad, because humans are complicated
But I've made communication cards and have the app Emergency Chat on my phone, which is just a simple chat with two sides and customisable pre screens where you can add a description, like "Verbal Shutdown, I can still communicate by using this chat client...."

[true willow]

Thank you so much, help is apreciated

[true willow]

Oh! That's great, thank you. Btw I saw your some of your communication cards yesterday and they look so cute an helpful too, very precise

[true willow]

Sounds good, I'll give it a try

[true willow]

this is nice, I was worried about the apps languages but they got what I requierd. Most of the people I talk to don't know English so it's great that they work

In an emergency situation this will be perfect

[tawny vortex]

Hi everyone sorry to bother but I have a question, how do I become better at understanding people's emotions/feelings if I can't relate to there feelings or emotions(I can emphasize but struggle with sympathy I think 😅)

[late tangle]

Can you ask them?

[true willow]

Yes, that helps, try to ask but explain that you have a hard time understanding emotions and that you're not trying to ofensive. @tawny vortex

Cuz some people get mad and think you're joking

[tawny vortex]

I've tried explaining my thoughts and how I struggle to understand but it comes off as condescending because I'm expecting to just get what they mean with out theme saying it or my brain looks at it for a logical point and I miss there meaning in the moment.

[true willow]

Oh, I feel sorry

[tawny vortex]

It ok its part of life well my life 😋

[tawny vortex]

Thanks for trying to help it's appreciated

[rose plaza]

Thank you so much!
Yes, they're a bit full, I have a problem with trying to stay short and I'm anxious that there all the important information isn't on there if it's short

[rigid chasm]

Maybe it depends on the context but if someone shared a story about the events of their day for example you can ask, how are you feeling after all of that? You can further ask how would you like to be supported? And maybe offer choices. Most of the time people just liked to be listened to and have their feeling validated.

[tawny vortex]

Thank you for the good advice I'll give it a shot 👍 😊

[fossil galleon]

Sup

[proven hull]

So I have been doing more research into autism and have run into an interesting crossroads.

Could a combination of alexithymia and sensory processing disorder lead to traits that would be identified as autism? Or at that point would it just be classified as autism anyways though the parts may not be related?

[steel pewter]

autism is not a diagnosis of exclusion thus you can have any condition + autism even intersecting ones and also it would be hard to figure out alexithymia + spd vs autism therfore it's hard to say

I don't think anyone can definitively say 'oh, these parts aren't related' when talking about neurodevelopmental conditions..?

[true willow]

Right, every autism diagnosis for each individual person is different.

[steel pewter]

exactly

[true willow]

For what I figured out I kind of have some sort of alexthymia since I was little but doesn't mean I don't feel or anything like that I just don't really know how to describe what feelings and emotions I feel

and spd is kind of appart of that

because of course it might affect emotions and stuff

but I don't think are really correlated?

[steel pewter]

For me, I literally don't feel all that much but when I do it's very intense. If you asked me both to describe sadness and a moment when I was sad then I wouldn't be able to answer either

The only things I can reliably describe and pinpoint are anger, neutral, and happiness

[true willow]

RIGHT! I relate to that! for example I can be like not showing emotions or anything but when i explode i explode badly

[true willow]

yup

but like when emotions are more complex you feel kinda lost if that makes sense

it makes me so mad that I try to tell what is going on but I can't even know so sometimes my relatives get mad at me for saying "No, I actually don't know what I'm feeling rn"

it's so confusing

[steel pewter]

This is because all three tend to be accompanied with either pain or lack of pain ( heart problems go brrr )

[true willow]

that's why I always prefer the neutral mood but won't happen every day ofc

[steel pewter]

yes.

[true willow]

yeee

bro like what the actual hell, when I was a baby I gave clearly RED FLAGS, I used to not cry like not even show if I was hungry and my mom didn't notice, she thought it was just cute. I bet it's all bc I'm a girl and now I be getting late diagnosed 😭

like in what world a baby not crying is normal, for what I understand that's the only way babies communicate, crying and I did not

like HOW

It's so funny how I been all my life kind of unaware but now that some neurodivergent friends and acquaintances tell me "oh right, we always knew"

like why y'all hiding stuff from me HUH

[steel pewter]

I did cry & stuff as a baby so I wasn't as obvious but that was trained out of me before I was like 13 so I don't anymore

[true willow]

ooo

[steel pewter]

also, my neurodivergent friends were the reason I started suspecting cause they kept asking me if I was diagnosed

[true willow]

real, my chem teacher now is 58?? idk but she got late diagnosed this year. The funny thing here is that we're very alike even though we're generations apart and last year I still remember she said "Huh, it's weird cuz coffee makes me want to sleep and I've read that neurodivergent people get affected by coffee differently". Btw she has autistic sons so...

we were unaware but aware LOL

and she started investigating all bc of me I GUESS, because when started to search up how was autism for girls and there we are

realizing that since our childhood there were signs, but we took it as something from day to day like if was nothing was happening

I feel like we were so stupid, we have family members with diagnosis and be like if genes were not a thing.

And also I have a friend with ADHD, NOW like out of nowhere tells me that everything makes sense

[steel pewter]

when you get a diagnosis, things just start clicking into place tbh

[true willow]

MHM

At first din't believe like, I be getting impostor syndrome

then clicks

you get sad

but you realise is good

and you get happy

then you don't even know who you are and what you've been doing all these years

Btw my grandma I think well, she was not diagnosed BUT LIKE GRANNY? she oh no, she was an example of autism herself 😭

then by what she used to tell

[true willow]

HER MOM didn't speak, like barely speak

and then there's my cousin, who is a guy, autism diagnosed at 4-5 years old. bc yeah UHUM

how I wish in my country there was like more informed people about autism, is hard to find professionals who even give a diagnosis to kids

ohhh and I hate when people just make fun of autistic people, like inform yourself first

who the heck you think you are to make fun?

[true willow]

I ain't be laughing because they are ignorant :/

[limpid talon]

GG @true willow, you just advanced to level 8!

[true willow]

oh gosh, and when they be using "autistic" as an insult is when they get on my nerves.

[steel pewter]

my classmates use it like it's a slur

[true willow]

Tbh that's so stupid.

[steel pewter]

they also use actual slurs

[true willow]

same

[steel pewter]

The ones they use the most are the r-slur the f-slur and the t-slur, which is very rude of them

[true willow]

Yeah, I know but you better use actual slurs instead of categorizing something as a slur when it is not. (obviously not saying it's okay)

because then more people use the word in a way it shouldn't be used.

[steel pewter]

yea, I get that

[true willow]

now that I notice my communication in text is exceptional, but I tend to be quiet most part of the day 💀

I guess nothing to do about that, I'm already used.

[oak wraith]

I love my plushies and blankets!

[oak wraith]

Sorry about the last text. Im haviing an autistic moment stim wise with soft toys…. They are softer during these periods.

[rose plaza]

Nothing to apologise for in my opinion
Sitting here with my weighted plushie on me at the moment C:

[oak wraith]

Thank you! I adore my plushies…. Shark and giraffe

What is your weighted plushie look like?

[radiant oak]

Hellooopo

[rose plaza]

It's a cute very fluffy sloth
It's a DIY weighted plush

[rose plaza]

Ok, I'm not sure if this fits in here so apology if it doesn't, but I didn't know where else to ask this
So, I just started a new school about a month ago and it's been really good so far.
We are only 11 people in my class and we've all been getting along well.
There is one person though which I am unsure about, I feel like I'm getting "bad vibes" which I can't really elaborate on though.
I think he reminds me of someone/multiple people I had bad experiences with, I'm not sure.
I'm trying to treat him as the others, being nice and respectful and I think I'm doing it so far.
But still I can't help but feel weird/slightly uncomfortable when he stands or walks close to me and don't always feel super comfortable taking to him.

Does anyone have similar experiences or advice?
Thanks already<3

TLDR: new school, new people, all nice but one gives me kinda weird vibes, can't really explain it, trying to treat him nice regardless
Asking for similar experiences and/or advice, thanks!

[true willow]

Hii, yes, used to happen to me

I'm not very good with feelings and emotions

But when you feel like that bad "energy" or aura idk how to describe it

Is because there might be something off there

But what I recommend is that you take your time

Do not hurry up

With time you will see how they trully behave

It's good to treat everyone equialy but if you feel odd or uncomfortable

Just don't

Then if that person wants to talk with you try to aproach

But always be careful because even good vibes people might not be what they seem

And remember, is always nice to have them by your side than they being rude or mad for nonsense

Try to be neutral

[proven hull]

Oh, I wanna do a diy one. I crave higher weights than what's sold here.

[proven hull]

I do too. I have a 30 something year old little foot stuffie. And a 40 lbs weighted blanket.

I want something the size of my little foot, but like 20 lbs or something.

[fossil galleon]

I have a massive weighted blanket too

[placid urchin]

The same thing actually recently happened to me! If you are uncomfortable, that's valid! And you should not force yourself to do anything you don't want to!

[true willow]

Btw how do you make one?

[proven hull]

I don't know.

[true willow]

Hmm maybe using some kind of sand??

[limpid talon]

GG @fallow sigil, you just advanced to level 6!

[eager jungle]

yo

[proven hull]

I imagine you make a normal outer model of it, then it's stuffed with some normal stuffing, then little pouches for things like silicone beads.

If you use sand, it doesn't need to be super coarse otherwise that might just wear and tear on it I think. And if you use glass, you got to be careful with washing it if you use any sort of heat or dryer

I'm always kind of wondering why the weight limit seems to be around 7 lb. I can't find any place that sells stuffies heavier than 7 lb

[true willow]

Ohh

[true willow]

Ahh I see

[rose plaza]

That's true, I'm a people pleaser anyway so it's natural for me (although I am trying to work on establishing boundaries more and knowing I don't have to please everyone)

[rose plaza]

I'm glad I'm not the only one too.
Thank you for your words and advice, that means a lot!

[rose plaza]

I think so too.
We opened my plushie up and took some stuffing out, then made multiple pouches with seeds inside and put them inside. Some of the filling back and then sew it right back up.

It wasn't to increase weight but to add some at all, I purchased what we though a weighted plushie, but it wasn't unfortunately so we diy-ed it best we could.
I think it's 1,5 or 2kg now

[proven hull]

That's awesome

[late tangle]

I got a new aac device

Replacing my 10 year old one

It's purple

[rose plaza]

Purple🥳

[eager jungle]

that's cool. is it really helpful? we've been considering getting one for our mute alters and for situational mutism and verbal shutdown

but haven't been sure if it's worth it

[hidden ivy]

I could use a aac device for when I am non verbal due to mu autism but they are expensive and even apps on phones cost money to use for aac stuff. Does anyone have any aac stuff app wise that won't be money each month because I just talked to my husband about doing something and if I get scared from it I get non verbal and have no way to communicate with people at all and this thing i will be doing is later tomorrow

[brazen stone]

Lots of apps on phones are free, ic ant think of the good apps names rn sorry but there is a health forum for communication devices 😁/pos

[eager jungle]

we have a text to speech app but that's not gonna be helpful if during ur shutdown u can't type

[eager jungle]

We have an app called vocable where you can pre type phrases into the app and use them later

[oblique basin]

i saw autism and joined instantly

[late tangle]

Extremely helpful for me.

[oak thicket]

There‘s some recommendations for aac apps.

[snow cosmos]

I know it’s really expensive but proloquo2togo has a 50% off sale coming up on October 9th where it goes from a one time purchase of 250 to 125 dollars and I might buy it

[hidden ivy]

might look into it ty

[snow cosmos]

np!

[oblique basin]

Hi!

[rose plaza]

Hello C:

[oblique basin]

can i scream chicken in here so my fingers can stop feeling the need to type chicken in all caps...

[eager jungle]

you could do it in #spam if you want. that would be the most appropriate place.

the messages would be automatically deleted by a bot though, because typing in all caps requires special permission from the mods. this isn’t just given to people, this is only given to people who are trusted and the mods know well enough to trust that they won’t overuse caps. because overusing caps is against the rules.

if you wish to see the messages you could create a private server or you could use a different app.

/info /lh

Alex ↩️

[Reply to:](#1176007949034995753 message) can i scream chicken in here so my fingers can stop feeling the need to type chicken in all caps...

[oblique basin]

Kk

[rose plaza]

I thought I'd ask in here cause I don't see a specific chat and it is related to autism:
Does anyone here have a SPD (sensory processing disorder) diagnosis?
If so, did you go to your GP and ask about it, what were the steps?

I'm still on a long wait list for an autism assessment and I was thinking if spd might be a good point in between.
I have so many sensory issues omg

[late tangle]

No. Because when I got the autism they assumed all my sensory issues were part of that. Which I don't doubt

[vagrant temple]

Does anyone else sleep in really weird positions? Like sleeping on your arm and bending it weird or sleeping on weird angles?

[proven hull]

I sleep sometimes on both arms and wake up with them completely numb.

[flint widget]

Yes I do

[inland solar]

Me. I do. A lot.

[steel pewter]

Yep, plushies help to not do this sometimes

[vagrant temple]

Ooo cool, I have a donut cat plush I hug but I always end up bending my other arm weirdly

[lean mason]

realizing im getting diagnosed soon

everything feels weird and hazy

like ive fought for so long? are things actually gonna change? whats gonna happen? what did i do all this for?

idk. it feels. so weird

i thought id be much happier about this

now i just feel like life is unfair

/nav

[proven hull]

This is the grief stage that's often mentioned. Confirmation that you're not wrong. But then that means coming to grips that you may never get to experience some things. The acceptance that there will always be struggles that seem to hinder you.

It's not all grimm though. It can come with understanding yourself, learning the signs of when meltdowns and stuff may happen, can come with understanding how your brain works and how to shape your environment around you to work with that.

[proven hull]

I'm much later in the game than you are when coming to the conclusion that I may be autistic, but it fits so many experiences and behaviors that I have done my whole life. From things like why I walk the way I do, reason about things, feel about friends and significant others.

I grieve my loss of unique quirky identity but I feel less alone and more understood. More like I can voice that my ears hurt before I'm debilitated, or that I don't understand something seemingly so simple.

[limpid talon]

GG @proven hull, you just advanced to level 8!

[eager jungle]

SPD can be related to autism but u can have SPD without being austistic (sorry this was has been written for ages and just forgot to send it)

emma ↩️

[Reply to:](#1176007949034995753 message) I thought I'd ask in here cause I don't see a specific chat and it is related to autism:
Does anyone…

[proven hull]

How would one test for SPD for example? I have several scenarios where I have reacted abnormally to things. But is there a way to kinda self test?

[eager jungle]

i'm not sure honestly

[proven hull]

If my evaluation yields that I'm not autistic, I'm pretty sure I have SPD and alexithymia at least. At least as far as my experiences and tests seem to show.

[lean mason]

no, ive already done all that. ive already gone through the grief and realization. it started like. 3 years ago. im relatively okay with being autistic. /lh /nm
what im feeling rn is different, which is why im so confused.
i feel weird about finally being able to get a diagnosis. because ive been autistic my whole life but nobody knew. ive been in the diagnosis process for about 3 years now, i was feeling ok about all this, but now its suddenly weird and overwhelming?
i guess its just the fact that im transitionning from "unofficial" to "official", or from "undiagnosed" to "diagnosed", or from "unpriviledged" to "priviledged".
its also the 1st proper diagnosis i receive and the 1st time in 19 years im being properly taken care of and treated well. so i guess thats what feels weird.
idk how to explain,, its hard.

im ok with being autistic, its being diagnosed that feels weird, because for the past few years ive only been jealous of diagnosed people or ppl with a support system and accommodations. now that im switching teams and entering the "diagnosed" team, i feel odd.

its a good thing for me that im finally diagnosed because my masking capavity has significantly decreased and i need accommodations and help to get through life.
so im happy and grateful about a diagnosis.

but idk. still feeling weird.

[true willow]

You're so lucky even though you're late diagnosed, I hope you now feel better, I know it might feel weird but now you can live your life better.

[lean mason]

i know im lucky and privileged to be able to access diagnosis and ill be forever grateful :)

[proven hull]

Honest question, how late is late diagnosis?

[glacial helm]

Think I understand to feeling. For me, there was a difference between knowing I was autistic, accepting this and being diagnosed vs really processing all that means for me and the rest of my life.

Tbh, it took me 17 years before emotional realization kicked in (was diagnosed at 12 years old because my brother got diagnosed as well, but I was not able to process what it meant at the time (I see now this was because of overload) and had no proper follow-up, resulted in 17 more years of pushing myself and masking).

Inner acceptation of being autistic, having the right people around you to also feel that its ok to be who you are, accepting your unique limitations and having a safe environment to ask for accommodations... It's a lot to process and also comes with a shift in mindset. You no longer have to push as hard as you (unintentionally) used to, and realistically may be unable to do things you used to because this was in fact unhealthy for you (but you were not aware earlier). Anyway before I keep info dumping I'll press enter and be done with it 🙂

[glacial helm]

So I think there is no actual definition, but in studies its becoming more accepted that 'late' is at the age of 12 or after that. In practice there is a lot of diagnosis later in life (20's, 30's, sometimes later) as well, more often so in women.

[rose plaza]

That's what I'm thinking aswell.
I have a lot more imposter syndrome about the social/communication aspect of autism than the sensory aspect, because it's easier to argument, I guess. More tangible

[glacial helm]

The brain is good at gaslighting ourselves unfortunately.

[true willow]

Yes, that's right

[median geode]

Good morning everyone how's everyone doing?

[rose plaza]

Not great unfortunately and can't really tell what I'm feeling :/
Hope you're doing better

[median geode]

I'm good thanks what's everyone been up to today?

[fervent basin]

Tried to do some studying but it didn’t happen :(

[inland solar]

Ah I'm sorry

[oblique basin]

oof same...f**king hate that

[oblique basin]

if you count sleeping on my stomagh with both my arms tucked near my stomagh weird then yes

[oblique basin]

oof...i've done that SO many times and failed each one

[hazy swift]

i don’t really know if i am autistic because i have done some research online but they sometimes use words that don’t describe me.. like for example “do you get —-“ when ——“ happens?” like i can’t understand well at my age

and i have lots of interests

[fervent basin]

I actually spent a good year or so researching and didn’t think I had sensory issues but then I slowly realised that I actually have a lot of the sensory issues but I didn’t know they were different from neurotypical people if that makes sense

Not sure if that helps tho

[steel pewter]

So, like, anyone else come to realise that neurodivergent people clash sometimes?

So I’m autistic, I sit next to this girl with adhd and we both stim by doing the foot tapping/leg shaking thing??? I’m not sure what it’s called.

The other day she went like “can you stop doing that?” We were both doing it so I was super confused and then I realised I had my foot up on this bar thing under the desk and it was shaking the whole desk so yea, I just put my foot on the floor and I didn’t have to stop stimming but yea.

She communicated rather indirectly which meant that I didn’t entirely understand what she meant at first and I was literally shaking the whole desk by accident.

For some reason, I didn’t realise this

[proven hull]

I'm on year 8. This last year has been really deep diving more.

The sensory portion has been weird for me. I have really good hearing and aversion to unorganized loud noises. (Aka if I'm not prepared, it hurts, but I like loud bassy music that is predictable). But I don't pick up on pain right away if at all for most things. Small cuts that || bleed || or some internal injuries that others have told me I should be feeling.

[proven hull]

This is very noticable with families of neurodivergent people. My daughter loves tapping, snapping and whistling to hear the sounds she makes, but those sounds often draw my attention and I have trouble focusing.

It takes patience and communication but we have come to understand what it is we are seeking just by clearly asking and trying out things to see what we are feeling.

[steel pewter]

My family is all neurotypical ( I think? My brother has misophonia, idk if that counts ) so i've only had this experience with classmates

[brazen stone]

Im at a new therapy place and they have a sensory room 😁

[late tangle]

What!!

[brazen stone]

Ikkkkkkk

[radiant oak]

Awesome wish mine had one

[brazen stone]

The therapist is so cool im definitly going to stay wit them

Very happy and im gonna hopefully getting autism assesment done by them

[flint widget]

That’s great! It’s sometimes hard finding a good therapist

[radiant oak]

I feel like most therapists are good but some are just better for you as an individual

[flint widget]

Yes

I once had a therapist who didn’t want me to use ear defenders during sessions but me personally, I am a lot calmer with my ear defenders on in places where there could be unexpected noises

Thankfully my new therapist lets me use ear defenders for the whole session and lets me have breaks in between

[radiant oak]

See ya better for some

Took me 3 tries got it in the end though

[brazen stone]

Yea ive already been through 2

[brazen stone]

That sucks

[fervent basin]

My current therapist is leaving soon :( I really like her and now I’m going to have to get to know someone else

[hazy swift]

thanks for trying. i do struggle with sensory issues-

[limpid talon]

GG @hazy swift, you just advanced to level 4!

[rose plaza]

Saw that I missed a call (my phone is always on silent) and when I looked it up, i saw that it's the number of the clinic I've reached out to regarding an autism diagnosis.
Tried to call back (10mins later) but no one answered.
I don't like phone calls, but I fear this is one I have to make
I'm very nervous

[idle elm]

Hi I am autistic lv2 was diagnosed when I was 5

[rose plaza]

Good luck for me, they've sent an email!
Way less stressful and I have time to think about my answer

[late tangle]

This is going to sound weird but I am jealous of people who get diagnosed early. I got diagnosed at 16. But there was so much that could have been avoided if I was actually diagnosed. I am level 2 also

[vagrant temple]

I am level 1 and I feel so invalid, I was also diagnosed at 14 so I still don’t know what it means much

[late tangle]

You are completely valid. It took me years to get to a point where I felt like I understood myself.

To some level

[vagrant temple]

Thanks 😊. Sometimes I feel like I’m ‘not autistic enough’ and I need reminding

[steel pewter]

I was also diagnosed at 16 but they didn’t give me a level at my diagnosis

[proven hull]

Well the text says "low support needs". The levels are in regards to how much impact Autism makes on your life.

The way I have seen it is that if you are able to relatively function(keep yourself regulated, tolerate uncomfortable situations, etc) ok for the most part, you are level 1.

Most cases I have seen for level 2 have trouble holding down jobs or have niche jobs that don't force them out of their comfort zones as much.

Level 3 generally needs more support from someone or tools around them.

For myself, I'm still awaiting my diagnosis, but I have a job and family and am under my own roof, but I do have glaring issues on social and sensory levels that have made it more difficult with coworkers and have led to health complications.

I feel I would match with a level 1 diagnosis if/when I get it.

[idle elm]

Does anyone else ever just get stuck in an accent? Stuck in a terribly inaccurate Scottish accent at the moment 😭

[rose plaza]

I can't do accents at all and it's really sad
I wish I could

Kinda like facial expressions
I think I'm doing a great and accurate job but then someone looks at me weird and apparently I'm totally off on what I wanted to portray

[steel pewter]

yep, i've got a british one right now for some reason, I think it's cause i've been getting a ton of british shows on my shorts feed recently

then again, my accent's always a little british

also, do people not know what 'miffed' means??? It's my favourite word to say but no one knows what it means

[hidden ivy]

I have kinda got stuck in each nordic accent due to 5 alters that are nordic and my husband gets confused so I explain it's a alter thing. Which I know it is because I found it wrote about in my journal and it's my echolalia when I repeat stuff with a accent my brain has me try to use the accent to

[idle elm]

I do but words are hard so idk how to explain it 😭

ArsonCrows ↩️

[Reply to:](#1176007949034995753 message) also, do people not know what 'miffed' means??? It's my favourite word to say but no one knows what …

[steel pewter]

if you know what it means then that's enough

[idle elm]

Yeah I’m just realising I read that wrong initially, we know what it means :3

[radiant oak]

Like annoyed/impatient sort of

[steel pewter]

basically

[radiant oak]

I feel so smart

[steel pewter]

lol

[brazen stone]

I know what miffed means, and yes it is an awesome word

[steel pewter]

it sounds so nice

[steel pewter]

The odd neurodivergent duality of aac user but also doing podfics is interesting and I don’t know how I do it

[late tangle]

What's podfics

[steel pewter]

Audiobooks for fanfiction

[small creek]

WOW I finally got diagnosed as autistic. got a surprise OCD diagnosis as well (lol. time to go down a research rabbit hole)

everyone says the moments after getting a diagnosis is an emotional rollercoaster, but tbh I haven't felt much emotion yet. maybe it'll take me longer to process. has anyone had this experience?

[hidden ivy]

Funny for us it was ocd diagnoses when little and at 19 suprise diagnoses of autism. The rollercoaster sure is emotinal. Happy you got what you knew you needed

[steel pewter]

Me; It took me so long to get the diagnosis that I’d already processed and accepted it by the time they told me I was autistic

[inland solar]

I'm so happy for you thatyou gor a diagnosis :)

[steel pewter]

Anyone else have that thing where your brain doesn’t wanna make words proper so it just kinda doesn’t? Example; my headphones ran out of charge, response? “No, that’s mean”
Is this an autism thing, a language is stupid thing, or a me thing?

[late tangle]

Words are dumb

I agree

I get the same thing

[radiant oak]

I thought that was my dyslexia with words but that’s probably it
I also sometimes start sentences and just hope I figure it out by the time I finish them

[vagrant temple]

Anyone else keep getting stuck in drama in friend groups bc you don’t think through how people will react to what you say, when you don’t even mean it to hurt them or doesn’t seems hurtful to you?

Bc oh man I’m sick of this happening like every month

[tawny rampart]

Hi

[true willow]

Haha that's why I no longer have friends... I guess I couldn't handle drama for any other year

[true willow]

Hii Luna :)

[true willow]

YES, Words do not make sense ir people don't seem to understand us the way we do

[true willow]

OMG!! So happy to hear that, hope the diagnosis helps to understand yourself better and don't blame yourself for things that now have an explanation 🤍

[fervent basin]

My autism assessment is supposed to start tmr I’m so excited but also terrified 😭

[radiant oak]

That’s awesome it’s not as bad as you think

At least is wasn’t for me

[peak geode]

Hi, is it okay for me to talk in here even if I don't have an official diagnosis? Because my therapist has asked me if I have ADHD and autism before and I can relate to many autistic traits also through many other things I have self diagnosed audhd (sorry I feel like those sentences/words don't make sense)

[inland solar]

Yea ofc! I'm not diagnosed too but I also show signs of autism and adhd :D

[peak geode]

Ohhhh okay good I was really worried about people being like "oh you're faking" or something like that

[inland solar]

This is definitely a safe space for ppl :) ur fine, no worries 👍

[peak geode]

Thank u!

[brazen stone]

Lol i desperatly need accomodations broo

Hhh

[white fiber]

Hey peeps! I’m autistic ♾️

[idle elm]

twisnsies

[rose plaza]

I just got an email with my date, in December, and I'm so terrified suddenly

[fervent basin]

Congrats!!!

Yeah I get it

Unfortunately I just found out that my assessment has to be postponed

I’m so frustrated

It’s been 2.5 years 😭

[brazen stone]

Aw thats horrible im sorry

[brisk comet]

Hello fellow autistics

[late tangle]

ooh, your profile picture. pretty!

[radiant oak]

Helllo

[tribal hedge]

Don’t worry dude!! I panicked so much on my assessment and it turned out just fine. They are so kind there and I promise you it will go well

[silent iron]

That is annoying

[silent iron]

I felt so nervous

[oak thicket]

Hi Saz, that sounds like a disrespectful and emotionally painful situation.
I‘m so sorry you had to experience this / are experiencing this.

Is there anyone you can tell/write about what happened? Maybe a close friend who understands?

I just want to let you know that you deserve to be loved and treated with respect and understanding.
If you can‘t talk then you can‘t talk and that‘s okay.

[oak thicket]

@true willow There‘s helplines you can text to if you ever need advise or someone to listen: #🧠helplines

[silent iron]

I feel sorry for you

[grim ingot]

Can you be autistic but not entirely be sensory sensitive?

[flint widget]

Yes

[radiant oak]

Ya

[rose plaza]

Hyposensitivity is also a thing, where you're less sensitive
Sensory sensitivity is what's often talked about, but actually it's sensory differences in general which includes being more and less sensitive
And you don't need to fit all criteria to be autistic

[median geode]

Hi

[idle elm]

Does anyone have any tips on preventing meltdowns other than triggering a shutdown

I was gonna say about the under sensitivity that is part of autism for some

emma ↩️

[Reply to:](#1176007949034995753 message) Hyposensitivity is also a thing, where you're less sensitive
Sensory sensitivity is what's often tal…

[brazen stone]

Depending on what the meltdown is about (if you know) there could be different ways, but defintily breathung slow in and out, headphones(if your sensitive to sound or veen just to listen to some calming music), hugging a favorite plush might help as well

[frank wigeon]

I'm newly diagnosed autistic and often have sensory overstimulating when going outside. I also really struggle with load noise. Does anybody have any suggestion(s) or advice?

Because all they did was provide a load of websites at the end if my diagnosis summary letter

[radiant oak]

Headphones

But in all seriousness, it is a really good and easy solution

[silent iron]

Noise cancelling headphones

[limpid talon]

GG @silent iron, you just advanced to level 11!

[rose plaza]

Depends on what outside, but if it's sunny sunglasses help with light sensitivity
And like the others said headphones, ear defenders or ear plugs

[flint widget]

Ear defenders

[ocean valley]

Hey is us at all weird to have an emotional support pet as an autistic person? Cause I went trick or treating today and I brought my chameleon Cosmo with me because I was repunzel and he was pascal. I usually get really overwhelmed because it can get really crowded and overwhelming to go every year. But when I had Cosmo I didn’t think for one second about how the car lights could have been too bright or that the sounds were to loud or that it’s to dark and I can’t see well. Do you think he helped me in a way? Cause if so from now on I’m gonna take him places with me like that. Like to the store and stuff. Let me know if you guys have experienced the same.

[limpid talon]

GG @ocean valley, you just advanced to level 11!

[late tangle]

From someone with a service please for the love of everything. No. Or at least call and ask. Service dogs get public access not pets.

[late tangle]

I understand the want. And I understand it helps but please no.

[ocean valley]

Oh I ask 100% don’t worry!! I meant to like family gatherings and places that allow pets. Some store around me allow in them.

[late tangle]

Ok. Good

[rose plaza]

If it's possible and allowed I don't see why not. I'm glad you found something that helps you<3

[flint widget]

Ideas for nail biting?

I tried wearing gloves ( like medical gloves) and it works great but idk it’s weird wearing gloves in public places so I don’t bite my nails

[late tangle]

Chewlery

That's how I don't

[flint widget]

Hmm yeah, I do have some I use but I have this habit of biting my nails a lot

I’m embarrassed to wear gloves in public places because people will think I’m sick or something 😦

[flint widget]

Do you have any chewlery recommendations?

[late tangle]

I like brands?

Or textures?

Or toughness?

Like what kind of recommendation

[flint widget]

Anything really

[late tangle]

I don't need super tough so I will actually go to the baby section in stores

I found a dino with pop it's on it too

[flint widget]

Oh fun

[late tangle]

There are a bunch on Amazon if you like different shapes or textures or toughness tho

I am not picky tho. I just need to be chewing on something

[flint widget]

Yeah me too

[oak wraith]

Same here (historically). . . . however I noticed when I started seeing a manicurist that my biting habbit decreased by 85-90%.

[oak wraith]

Although I have still chewed on my skin which . . is also not healthy for me. .

[topaz dew]

i suspect I could be autistic but still building up to get an appointment with my gp

[rose plaza]

Hope you figure it out<3

[fading birch]

Wow these topics get popular fast

[flint widget]

Wearing medical gloves really helps me! I haven’t been wanting to bite my nails as I can’t even if I wanted to.. only thing I don’t like is that some people look at me weird but at least it’s something for me to stop biting my nails especially in public places

[vagrant temple]

Yeah the only way I stopped biting my nails was when I got braces

[radiant oak]

That somehow didn’t stop me

[vagrant temple]

Yeah I lm a bit worried I might go back to it when I get them off

[radiant oak]

Ya makes sense

[steel pewter]

You might get retainers after, you could ask for permanent retainers if you do? That might help? They’re basically two pieces of metal wire on the back of your teeth ( one top and one bottom ). Inconveniences include: MRI’s being funky or you can’t do them until you get the retainers out depending on the clinic, X-rays being funky, and, yea, that’s pretty much it in my experience

[idle elm]

Chipped a tooth from biting my nails 🥲

🪼🪻Sapphic_Moon🪻🪼 ↩️

[Reply to:](#1176007949034995753 message) Yeah the only way I stopped biting my nails was when I got braces

[storm escarp]

I am trying to get tested for autism. My dr told me I was crazy and it’s probably anxiety I stim by moving my right shoulder and she asked me if there was something wrong with me

[grim ingot]

I’m sorry. That’s not fair. You aren’t crazy.

[steel pewter]

That sounds like someone who should not be a doctor

[storm escarp]

Thank you ! It’s just been wild lately and it’s been so frustrating I hate being in this body

[tepid storm]

Hey there everyone! I'm new here, and I'm currently trying to sort out a potential diagnosis. Does anyone have any insight into the whole process, self-regulation, or resources? I'm pretty new to it, and I would love any help I can get!

[oak wraith]

Welcome to our community! We are glad you are here. Firstly, please visit the #🐞pick-your-roles channel and select what aspects (roles) pertain to you so we get to know you better. . . Secondly, every country is a little different with respect to resources and processes. Knowing what region or country you are in would be useful — we are a global community. Generally, getting a diagnosis for autism can be a lengthy process but varies from place to place.

[trim osprey]

autism unite ✨

[limpid talon]

GG @trim osprey, you just advanced to level 1!

[trim osprey]

shhhhhh

[silent iron]

I feel sorry for you

[steel pewter]

Anyone else find oats kinda stim-y?

Just kinda, run your hands through it?

I have some just for stimming, I was originally gonna eat them but then I realise the texture is really gross to eat but really good tactile wise so now they’re just for stimming

[grim ingot]

Yes

[inland solar]

Anyone else scared of flushing toilets? It sounds weird lol sorry
I've been scared of flushing toilets since I was in prek and I still am now. I have to cover one ear eith my shoulder, the other ear with my hand, and with the other hand I flush. The loud noise just completely scares me every single time. Anyone else similar or same to that?

[idle elm]

Not as much as hand dryers. Those things are evil

Hazel (she/they) ↩️

[Reply to:](#1176007949034995753 message) Anyone else scared of flushing toilets? It sounds weird lol sorry
I've been scared of flushing toil…

Anything smooth like stuff covered in smooth shiny chocolate, or sprinkles, or chia seads feel great on the hands, so stimy

ArsonCrows [☀🪶] ↩️

[Reply to:](#1176007949034995753 message) Anyone else find oats kinda stim-y?

[inland solar]

Hand dryers are my second worst fear 😨
I still can't use them

[idle elm]

Have to go back in the stall and use tolite paper to dry our hands when we only see them

Hazel (she/they) ↩️

[Reply to:](#1176007949034995753 message) Hand dryers are my second worst fear 😨
I still can't use them

[inland solar]

They're a menace, they have no business being so loud

[inland solar]

Yeah lol, I use paper towels most of the time

[idle elm]

Exactly they can be quiet like low hair dryer setting but no they are leaf blower loud

Hazel (she/they) ↩️

[Reply to:](#1176007949034995753 message) They're a menace, they have no business being so loud

[inland solar]

They're plane engine loud lol /hj

Toilets and hand dryers have no business being that loud is my final conclusion

[brazen stone]

YES absolutelu, we have a hand flush toilet at hime so its really quiet and i always cover my ears when flushing normal toilets

[steel pewter]

Even hair dryers are too loud for me, I can’t use them. But also hand dryers and loud flushing toilets have no business being anywhere near that loud

[brazen stone]

Yea

I go to canada alot, (im an aussie) and i find that other then the amount of water in the bowls, canadian toilets are also alot quiter on average which is interesting

Might just be my mind playing tricks tho

[steel pewter]

If there’s less water then it likely is actually quieter

[brazen stone]

Argh ive been noticing more and more recently that, like for examle the word agitated, i might say, well graeme is sounding agitated, but i dont actually know what agitated feels like, like i believe the definition is like a mix of anxious annoyed worried? And like I understand how it could feel like- example getting overwhelmed, overstimulated, shakey, thougjts goimg fast, but i dont actually properly know what agitated feels like i dont think

More on that ive been noticing more autistic symptoms(not sure the right word but idk) like i have never thought that i had a set routine that i definitly needed to follow and if i dont follow it ill cru, but i dont really have that, but what i have figured out is that if i have an idea of what is happening and that changes suddently and its completely out of my control, THEN i get upset,
I dont really like finding these parts because i have been content and i know it sounds bad, of not being ‘that’ autistic, but as i find out more and more the more is disrupts my perspective of myself and i dont like it

[brazen stone]

No more water in canada

So idk

[steel pewter]

A lot of autistics misunderstand the meaning of ‘routine’

[brazen stone]

Well a routine is somethjng that you always do, like my morning routine is the same three basic steps and it changes on the weekend, but even during the week it is different i have these three things but they arent aways in the same order, and recently one of them has veen being removed

So i do have a routine but i dont get super upset if it doesnt go right

Like at all

[steel pewter]

Makes sense

I don’t really have a routine either

My two big ones are social stuff & sensory issues. Both hate me. I don’t have the routine thing though and I don’t really relate to a lot of what ‘lower support needs’ autistics online say are ‘essential traits’ of autism ( in qoutes cause both of those things are super subjective and that first thing can’t be determined over the internet )

[rose plaza]

Is there any way you can flush with your elbow so you have both hands free to cover your ears? /suggestion /nopressure

[rose plaza]

Meltdown from going to the hairdresser
God, I hate it

[inland solar]

Yeah I agree
Also hairdryers can be overstimulating for me because not only is it loud or messed with my hair and sometimes it can get to hot and stuff

[inland solar]

Eh, maybe, but it's muscle memory
The toilets that aren't in public spaces aren't that loud, or like those normal flush toilets you find in homes and some small public spaces but the ones with the long metal flush thingy and the automatic ones are very loud
But even if it's not that loud, it's muscle memory and its still kinda overstimulating for me

[vagrant temple]

Omg sameeeeee

[tepid storm]

I don’t like the hand blow dryers at all 😖

[brazen stone]

Yea

[median geode]

Mean either they are so loud

[radiant oak]

Yep that sounds about right

[steel pewter]

Hand blow dryers are horrid

[vagrant temple]

They make me feel like exploding but if I don’t use one to dry my hair then it’s itchy for the rest of the week 😖

[late tangle]

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DCR3YxDIy1y/?igsh=MTFkYWYyemZjNTR0Zw==

richmondtheatre

Happy Purple Tuesday 💜✨

We’re proud to share the details of our Beauty and the Beast relaxed performance taking place on Jan 2nd 🎄

More information can be found on our website, because we believe everyone should be able to experience the magic of Pantomime ✨

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[peak geode]

I know this is technically not autism but I'm going to try to get an ADHD testing done soon and maybe also an autism one? Idk I'm just really excited to finally have something real possibly that tells me I can't gaslight myself into thinking that I'm just faking whatever. Anyways I just wanted to say that wooooooo ADHD testing soon! Woooooo

[inner jackal]

i think im getting evaluated today for autism so im super excited for that ! i took the basic exam on my own just to see what it would be like and i got 90.5% lmfaoo (i know this is not an official diagnosis but its still funny)

[rose plaza]

Good luck to you!
Is that test available online?

[radiant oak]

Maybe it’s called the aspie quiz

[inner jackal]

oh

sigh

[inner jackal]

yes! if you look up aspie quiz it should come up (i cannot send the link here haha)

[lean mason]

got diagnosed yesterday

[steel pewter]

Congrats!

[rose plaza]

I found it, thanks!
It was the one quizz on embrace autism I hasn't taken yet :3

[radiant oak]

Nice congrats

[steel pewter]

Any other autistics learn a skill and then are unable to apply said skill?

I learned how to hug people in occupational therapy and I still can’t hug people outside of the therapy room and my girl child is mildly annoyed at me /not a vent ( advice appreciated )

[glacial helm]

Hey, yes, to some extent I think I can relate. Not to bore any of you with a story, but years ago I tried to become a social worker and function as a bridge between the neurotypical and 'my' neurodivergent world. Took me three years (I passed two years of courses, including learning and practicing a lot with communication skills) to realise that, in fact, I could not apply most of those skills in the 'real world' without burning myself out.

For me I think it was mainly the difference in circumstances and the pressure / urgency I felt. It made me unable to reach the resources I had at the right moment. Like, the skill is there, just not when it's actively asked of me. For me it mostly has to do with not feeling comfortable in the moment. Almost as if it's so against my nature that I can only do it when I have the freedom that I'm not required to do so, if that makes sense...

[rose plaza]

My pre diagnostic appointment (and then a week later the diagnosis appointment) is soon and I'm really nervous.
I don't know if it's okay to say I want the diagnosis, but I'm so so scared of not getting it, because that would mean going back to researching, not being able to aquire accommodations and I would feel so guilty for assuming it in the first place.
That's apart from the money I would have uselessly spent...

[true willow]

Don't worry, I hope you the best. It will be better if you go than don't. It's better to make sure about it so don't feel guilty <3

[rose plaza]

Thank you<3

[true willow]

Hey, Emma! I know we haven't talked much but i'd like to ask if I can DM you, it's only bc of your autism diagnostic appointment. I don't know, I'd like to talk about it because I'm in a similar situation 🤍✨

Let me know your thoughts on that

[brazen stone]

I saw the accomodation dude today to do some accomodations and now i have personalosed learning plan (or smth its a legal doco apparently) and i got hard copy passes for headphones, leaving class and sitting st the back of the hall during assembky, i am also gonna be getting ability to leave be inna differnt room during exams and possibky able to not have to wear the school socks

[radiant oak]

That’s great I’m glad your getting accommodations

[lean mason]

thats great!!!

[brazen stone]

Ye im so happy

[rose plaza]

Okay, sure!

[rose plaza]

That sounds really good, I hope it'll help!

[placid urchin]

Any autistic people with special interests in certain fandoms get really unnecessarily upset when you see interpretations or headcanons that contradict your own?
Obviously, they're not doing anything wrong. We're all just having fun with fandom, and people are going to have different interpretations of the media. And I never argue with people online or post anything malicious, but I do find myself quietly seething over the fact that not everyone agrees with me on characters that I've become so attached to.

If anyone else experiences these strong emotions, is there anything that helps you reason with yourself and calm down?

[silent iron]

Yes most definitely

[steel pewter]

Yes. I headcannon Midoriya from mha is autistic and people can fight me about it.

[steel pewter]

I find fics that contain the headcannon and read them

[visual brook]

Yess def agree

[brazen stone]

Raaaaa im so tired i have to go to a movie to noght and i dont wanna im so tired im gonna have a meltdown at some piit i swear

[late tangle]

What helps? Can you do that in advance to at least minimize how bad it is?

[rose plaza]

I feel like I'm going crazy
My diagnosis appointment is so close, I keep reminding myself that I just have to keep going a little while

[radiant oak]

I hope it goes well

[rose plaza]

Thank you<3 the pre appointment talk is this Thursday and the diagnosis is tuesday next week

[carmine echo]

Good luck 🤞

[rose plaza]

Thank you🫂

[inner jackal]

how do i bring up the fact that i think i'm autistic without seeming as if im begging for a diagnosis or self-diagnosing or anything of that sort? i would really like to be tested so i have access to support how do i bring it up to my therapist ? i've spent a number of hours trying to figure out a script, but i can't figure out a way to phrase it acceptably. if anyone has any tips or words i can say, please let me know !! thank you !

[limpid talon]

GG @inner jackal, you just advanced to level 2!

[inner jackal]

for context, i'm "very autistic" on neurotypical standards. i have lots of sensory issues, struggle badly with change, special interests get out of hand, my echolalia annoys everyone around me lmfao, etc. i also have pots which is often comorbid with asd . i'm really hoping for an official diagnosis to hopefully help me explain to my parents why i am the way i am. they're pretty awful when it comes to neurodivergency, and i'm really done with being told to just "suck it up and act like a human" :( hopefully an official diagnosis can give me the ability to reach out for help and to hopefully have the opportunity for licensed healthcare professionals to be able to explain to my parents that the way i am is the way i am, that i'm not "psycho" or anything of the sort

anyways the gist of this is

what words do i use? how do i bring the topic up to my psychiatrist?

[radiant oak]

Look them dead in the eyes (if you can) and tell them “I think I have autism let’s talk about it” this helps to break the ice but you get them to start the conversation(my fav trick is to make other people start conversations) remember to compile reasons. They will (or they should) help you with your parents someone like them are very convincing when it’s there job. I wish you good luck on your journey. See you on the other side.

[steel pewter]

I didn't tell mine shit, I booked the autism assessment without a referral

[radiant oak]

Fair

[steel pewter]

also, humaning sucks, I don't human anymore and it's great

[modest patrol]

My personal favorite method, for starting any important conversation I’m worried about having; is making a powerpoint presentation 😂with like all your traits,…. You could also see if you could send an email to your psychatrist or write it down. I find writing much easier than speaking. Or you could try and slowly lead your psychatrist to the emphany themselves, by talking about your traits, and waiting for them to suggest autism (the slower and less effective option)

[rose plaza]

I had to go to the dentist today
They're tools are so loud and screechy and it's bright and awful, I hate it.
It's a good thing it was only a short checkup appointment because i was already close to tears at the end of it.

[normal summit]

yee

[true willow]

IKR, going to the dentist is HELL

[rose plaza]

I have to make an appointment with my GP for some ||heart rate and maybe fainting/dizziness|| concerns and I really don't want to, know how or feel comfortable.

[idle elm]

tw food restriction ||Anyone struggling with how many safe foods they have. Our host identitys safe food list is limited to less then ten-11 foods which is not a lot since now many of those things were in the home and maybe 2 other foods if they can find them||

[dusky hearth]

hiii, i hate my asd, i got sacked bc of it

[dusky hearth]

me, ill eat something and then next time i cant stand it and its so frustrating as its limitting family time as i wont go out for meals a lot of the time

[idle elm]

Yes our system is all autistic and some of us do that to

Panda <3 (chloe) ↩️

[Reply to:](#1176007949034995753 message) me, ill eat something and then next time i cant stand it and its so frustrating as its limitting fam…

[young fossil]

TW: ||Blood work|| Doctors

I got a docs appointment in January. In the description it says “||Tests|| may have to be done. We will discuss it during the appointment”.

Not a fan, but that would’ve been alright if it wasn’t for the next row:

“The appointment may take more than an hour as we wait for the ||anesthetic ointment|| to kick in.”

They may want to do ||blood work|| during the appointment.

1. You can’t write that in an appointment.
2. I’ve got no other way to contact them besides phone call. I hate phone calls.

This is what makes me anxious

[meager vine]

understandable

[meager vine]

hi

[brazen stone]

I definitly didnt have a meltdown from the fact that my sibling wasnt comjng to the shops with me cause now i had to have a dofferent plan cause i was on mh own
I am now fine and going to the shops because my dad hadnt informed me that he would be walking with us for most of the time we’ll be there

[meager vine]

👍

that's good

[meager vine]

hi

anyone here

[idle elm]

||christmas|| related in the spoiler.

mum told us literally to practice our facial expressions ||for tomorrow (christmas day) when we receive presents|| and i found it funny. as if we haven’t been doing this for years. /lh /sil

[meager vine]

saaaaame she told me to make eye contact 😭

[meager vine]

why u app

[steel pewter]

They’re an alter in a system ( like I am ) and thus use a proxy bot

I don’t know how much detail I’m gonna have to go with explaining this so just ask questions

[idle elm]

My host is upset because they have no tree or presents like other years. Hope everyone has a safe a not so over stimulated day tomorrow

Thankfully we don’t do ||christmas||

it just sounds so overstimulating

[meager vine]

@steel pewter u read warrior cats? i do too

[idle elm]

We found wats to do it low stimulation l like opening presents slowly, low lights, no or low music and family time of movies, treats and a nice dinner of stuff every family member likes

Yea, warrior cats is pretty cool. I haven’t managed to start the second set of books though

tc1 ↩️

[Reply to:](#1176007949034995753 message) @steel pewter u read warrior cats? i do too

We found a warrior cats rp on Roblox. Its fun to make your can and be with others and explore plus other stuff

Samir [ Ey/Bell/Wing ] ☀🪶 ↩️

[Reply to:](#1176007949034995753 message) Yea, warrior cats is pretty cool. I haven’t managed to start the second set of books though 📎

Woah. We don’t use Roblox ( brain finds it frustrating and overwhelming ) but that sounds so cool

Some games like hells kitchen, warrior cats and a few others are what we play

cool

Many alters use this app for the systems they are in. Its a mental health thing

tc1 ↩️

[Reply to:](#1176007949034995753 message) why u app

[meager vine]

i see

[idle elm]

We would explain more but bad at explaining and a shy system so don't talk personal to many

tc1 ↩️

[Reply to:](#1176007949034995753 message) i see

[meager vine]

i understand

[idle elm]

if you’ve got questions ask them in #1151243634876891246 and someone who wants to answer might get back to you if you’re nice about it /nf

tc1 ↩️

[Reply to:](#1176007949034995753 message) i understand

[wet patrol]

Hiii

I’m recently diagnosed

[steel pewter]

That’s great!

[brazen stone]

I have my new headphones and will use them and my electronic ones at christmas - idk how manu people will be here but i already had a party last night and are thus exhausted from it

[meager vine]

I'm undiagnosed but i know i am

my parents don't want me to get diagnosed

[wet patrol]

I didn’t realize I was and would deny that

But then my doctor was suspecting it and he said that I’m possibly autistic

And I was like he probably was misdiagnosing me

[meager vine]

i have very strong symptoms

my friends also have symptoms so we all say we are autistic

we stim

i want a diagnosis when im older but since i still live with my parents they say no so im waiting

[wet patrol]

My sister is also autistic but she was diagnosed way before than me cuz she showed so many symptoms and they were strong too , my aunt neglected that but my she doesn’t care if she’s autistic or not she just cares that she got what she needs

[vagrant temple]

Yall ever get a ringing in your ears for some reason and then get overstimulated by it even tho it isn’t an actual sound from your surroundings

[meager vine]

yes

[young fossil]

When I get overstimulated, I usually can’t speak. I’ve been thinking of learning sign language. Like, I would need some way of communicating. Also as it happens way more frequently than before I’ve once again got this thought. Is it appropriate or am I stealing a label that isn’t mine to claim?

Also, we suspect I may have selective mutism - anyone have any experience with that? How do you accommodate for that? Most important, how do you get people to believe you?

[meager vine]

i don't think i have selective mutism but may have when i was younger with in some situations i just can't talk to other people and prefer to be on my own

[steel pewter]

Not advice but selective mutism is an anxiety disorder not an overstimulation thing /info

The sign language thing is a great tip though, definitely learn that

[meager vine]

i cant bring myself to actually learn sign language without getting distracted and forgetting about it

[steel pewter]

I was talking to Matthew. I didn’t even see your message until after id already typed mine /info

[brazen stone]

I want to not speak to people i dont know cause the anxiety of speaking to other people but then the anxiety from being seen as weird trumps the speaking to people so its this dilemma, then i verbally shutdown and just struggle

[brazen stone]

Also i dont think your stealing the label-(also the label of what)

[steel pewter]

I second this ^

Verbal shutdowns are a really common thing with autism. I used to have experience with these but I stopped really being able to talk much in general so I stopped being able to really tell when I was experiencing one

[brazen stone]

Ah

They are

Quite a few pf my irl friends experiance them

[steel pewter]

Fair

[young fossil]

I know. I think they thought that overstimulation causes a lot of anxiety?

To be honest this is a mess. How are you supposed to know what is caused by anxiety or overstimulation and what triggers one-another? /rq

[steel pewter]

I have no idea, honestly, sorry

[young fossil]

You’re okay /lh

Just rambling I guess 🤷

It seems like selective mutism and autism may co-occur. (You can have both). At the same time SM doesn’t cause ASD or the other way around.

Disclaimer, not trying to fight anyone.

[steel pewter]

Fair. I don’t think anyone ever claimed that though? Verbal Shutdowns have nothing to do with selective mutism

Verbal shutdowns happen as part of the upped ‘freeze’ response a lot of autistic people experience ( from what I know )

[ This is using Fight, Freeze, Flight. Shutdowns are also freeze, meltdowns are fight, elopement ( most of the time ) is flight ]

[ at least, like, in the most simplistic way one can explain it ]

[young fossil]

Verbal shutdowns and shutdowns in general is caused by overstimulation right?
Selective mutism is caused by anxiety.

[rose plaza]

As far as I know, selective mutism is tied to specific situations, like crowded places, strangers, school etc.
Meanwhile verbal shutdowns occur regardless of place or people around when the person is overstimulated and may also occur together with a meltdown or shutdown. /info

So it may be helpful to track/think about if you not being able to speak is tied to specific situations or places or if it's more tied to a specific feeling to find out if it's selective mutism or verbal shutdowns /lh /no pressure

[wet patrol]

I experienced selective mutism as a child it took me a while to “talk properly” again

[peak geode]

I don't really think this counts or is rested to selective mutism but it always really upset me when my parents would say "use your words" and refuse to help me even when I'm very obviously trying to reach for something or whatever. I don't know it just made me quite annoyed

[steel pewter]

“Use your words” is my least favourite phrase

[brazen stone]

Yea

[cunning dragon]

“Use your words” use your brain.

[meager vine]

ikr

[peak geode]

I'm literally so happy rn that there are other people that relate to this

[brazen stone]

Even now parentals still say it and it sucks- like you use your words to help me how bout that

Ahhhh wearing my new headphones is bliss

Its so quiet i love it

[steel pewter]

Honestly: I’m rarely able to explain my needs and problems, at least in a way anyone cares about. My aac exists but no one bothers with caring much about hearing what I have to say with it and my verbal ability is limited, it’s clunky and stilted and never the right volume or articulation, hampers communication a lot

“Use your words” is different and bothersome for me because well, no one listens when I use them either. They just tell me to use them better, in a way that I can rarely ever manage without a lot more time and effort than most people

[meager vine]

yes

a lot of people never understand me

or i dont understand them

its hard in my family when they all get each other but me

christmas is always a sensory overload

there were balloons there at my grandparents' house and i am deathly afraid of them

i hate balloons when they pop

or make any sound

we didnt have lights there but i can imagine they would be bright

is being afraid of balloons linked to autism

[idle elm]

I don’t believe so.

Every being may possess a fear of balloons, it is not tied to any one specific condition or state of mind.

[meager vine]

i dont like any loud sounds that startle

[meager vine]

the pop sound

when it is loud

[idle elm]

Autistic people may well be more likely to possess a fear of balloons due to the loud noise but it is not a feature of autism. One does not state that a fear of tubas is linked to autism due to the loud noise.

[meager vine]

just hate sounds in general

[idle elm]

I will not attempt to dispute that. Sound is unpleasant.

[brazen stone]

Oh i hated balloons as a kid, terrified of them, i still hate them today but arent scared of them any more, when i was 8 i was invited to a birthday perty and the invite was inside a balloon, i got my 5 year old sibling to pop it for me while i stood too the sode woth my hands in my ears

[meager vine]

me too

[novel atlas]

I like to suck helium out of balloons and talk with the hugh pitched voice, I do it without popping them to avoid the loud sound. It's really fun

[meager vine]

its fun now but i used to not like breathing in from balloons because it tasted bad

now i just deal with it if i want to sound funny but i never blow up balloons if there's a class project or a party

[novel atlas]

Yeah

[sharp swan]

Woah so nice and interesting to have just looked skimmed through the last bit of convo and been like yep the phrase "use your words" and dislike of ballons so relatable

[brazen stone]

Lol

[proper plank]

Hi

[meager vine]

hi

😀👍

[inland solar]

suuuuup

[meager vine]

i got cool 3d printed dragon fidgets for ||christmas||

[inland solar]

is it one of those squirmy thingys that like jiggle around (idk how to explain it and idk what theyre called sorry lol)

[inland solar]

yea one of those thingys
its a bit different than the other ones ive seen but i think they all work the same lol

[meager vine]

this is one of the 7 i got 😀😀

[meager vine]

there is also a slug one

[inland solar]

thats niceee

[inland solar]

yea the slug type of fidget i have no idea what those types of fidgets are called

[inland solar]

they are the "jiggly squirmy thingys" in my brain

ive been wanting a slug fidget

[meager vine]

i think it is called articulated fidgets idk but the dragon one is called that

[inland solar]

mm ok i might search it up lol

[meager vine]

from temu or eBay

they are so fun to play with and feel nice

[inland solar]

i got a fidget today tho
one from the dollar store
its squeaky but it gets the job done so yea ill take it

[meager vine]

at my school there are 3d printers so i got to print my own i designed

[meager vine]

nice what is it?

[inland solar]

i think the internet calls it an "atom fidget" or something the packaging said something about a puzzle ball or something

[meager vine]

is it like this

[inland solar]

something like this

[inland solar]

yea its a bit bigger than that tho

[meager vine]

nice

[young fossil]

Ooo I’ve got a orange and yellow one from my therapist. Love it!

[steel pewter]

Where do y’all get fidgets actually?

[lean mason]

i got a tangle recently from vinted

much less expensive

tangles are so expensive :(

i assume amazon also shop fidgets if u buy there

[steel pewter]

I’ve bought from Amazon before, that’s where I got my weighted blanket but the issue with Amazon is shipping costs a ridiculous amount. When I say ridiculous I mean that the cost of shipping was equal to the item itself

[lean mason]

didnt know that D:

its kinda the same for vinted lol

in france we have a chain store called "claire's" and sometimes they sell fidget toys

[lean mason]

apparenlty its global!

[steel pewter]

Yep, we have a couple in my area. I think I’ve also seen some other stores that sell fidgets here? Maybe.

[lean mason]

cool!!

i do have a few fidget toys from claires

i got them like. 2-3 years ago but yeah

theyre kinda expensive but at least no shipping fee

[steel pewter]

True

[steel pewter]

Shipping fees are absolutely evil

[vagrant temple]

Omg I have a mini rainbow one/lh

[inland solar]

A bunch of Claire's in America there's like one every mall or something

[meager vine]

i have never heard of Claire's before.

is it good?

[inland solar]

I mean in America at least where I live/lived, it's really cheap and bad quality but I do like going there from time to time to see what they have

Well cheap as in expensive but bad quality

[meager vine]

oh

i live in Australia

Far Far away

[inland solar]

Idk if there is Claire's in Australia

[meager vine]

what is Claire's like

we have lots of shops here

[inland solar]

Well it's mostly like a "kids store" there's like jewelry and stuffed animals, keychains, maybe fidgets here and there

[meager vine]

do u have kmart

[inland solar]

Ehhh I mean like kinda
Is Kmart like Korean stores or like Asian stores?

[meager vine]

what time is it for u

[inland solar]

10:26 P.M.

[meager vine]

i just had breakfast lol

[inland solar]

Yeah timezones be wacky lol

[meager vine]

complete opposites

[inland solar]

We should probably move this convo to #🍄general lol

[meager vine]

ye

or dm me

[inland solar]

Can i? Would be great to have a friend
I sound weird and creep now lol

[meager vine]

yessss

👍👍👍

[brazen stone]

There is not clairs in australia, idk what the closest thing would be

[brazen stone]

No kmart is a mainly clothes store though it does have sections for toys, electronics, books, stationary and makeup and homegoods

[inland solar]

Ah ok thanks

[brazen stone]

We also have big w wich is the same

Woolworths, one of the big supermarkets also owns big w

If they were joined physically and not just owned by the same people they would be like walmart

The two major supermarkets are woolworths and coles, though there are also IGA (independent grocers alliance) and aldi, aldi also sells stuff like homegoods as well but most stuff is offbrand

The main like big stores?? Are big w and kmart, TK max, myer, david jones, and target, david jones is more expensive though

Iga was rated as the most expensive grocery store, the woolworths, then coles then aldi

Wait

Coles and woolworths are switched i thknl

[rose plaza]

Woolworth has some fidgets where I live and also Müller, but that's exclusive to Germany I'm pretty sure¿
Otherwise I've bought most of my fidgets/stim toys from Amazon, and on one big and very expensive occasion tangles from the official shop. That shipping was diabolical.

[oak thicket]

Woolworth and Müller have fidget toys? That‘s good to know, I will look out for it!

[odd kernel]

Hello!

[rose plaza]

In my city yes!
Woolworth has some where the crafts and children's toys are and Müller has some where the children's toys and birthday accessories are :v

What is everyone doing for new year's eve? /nf
Do you like the celebrations?

[lean mason]

no /npa

[meager vine]

hi

[meager vine]

grandparents coming over for lunch

[meager vine]

like red dot?

[brazen stone]

?

Maybe??

[cunning dragon]

That sounds like a rip off target

[meager vine]

it doesnt sell clothes tho

[cunning dragon]

Is red dot a store chain?

Oh yeah I looked it up

[meager vine]

idk

[brazen stone]

Didnt targer used to be called like bullseye or smth

[meager vine]

idk 😶

[tribal hedge]

Dr who!!

[silent iron]

Yes I love doctor who

[tepid storm]

I just got some of the Speks, they’re a great fidget but hard to have around pets cuz they might eat it lol

[wet patrol]

The fireworks are killing me

[idle elm]

Fireworks scare all us in our system and were worried

[meager vine]

i got to see fireworks from my car so i couldn't hear it but they were really bright

[frank wigeon]

I've been watching them on the tv so I can turn the volume down at least

[true willow]

I have been putting my headphones all night

[young fossil]

I am usually not able to sleep during New Year’s Eve due to the fire works. However I did manage to sleep trough it last night, even without having to take melatonin. Must have been really exhausted.

[oak thicket]

I used earplugs when watching the fireworks and could actually enjoy them this year!

[gusty sapphire]

Hi, um, I possess the Tism

[limpid talon]

GG @gusty sapphire, you just advanced to level 2!

[gusty sapphire]

yay

[steel pewter]

Hi

I also posses the tism

[gusty sapphire]

the tism, my lovely tism

[meager vine]

hi

[gusty sapphire]

hi

[meager vine]

it is 2025 now

[steel pewter]

Yep

[meager vine]

it is my friend's birthday today

[limpid talon]

GG @meager vine, you just advanced to level 9!

[vagrant temple]

Hiii

I also am in possession of the tism

[meager vine]

hi there tism possessor

[vagrant temple]

Hello fellow (Aussie?) tism possessor

[meager vine]

yea mate

[vagrant temple]

I see Oceania and I assume Australia but I know there nz and bunch of other countries

[meager vine]

ru Aussie too?

[vagrant temple]

Yup

[meager vine]

which part

[vagrant temple]

NSW area

[meager vine]

im from the west

[vagrant temple]

Ahhhhh cool

So you’re like 2 and a half hours behind me rn roughly

[meager vine]

yea

[vagrant temple]

Cool cool

[gusty sapphire]

me as well

vic

[meager vine]

nice

i am pretty sure all of my friends possess the tism

[buoyant pecan]

i think that's common, like neurodivergent people just stick together like a pack of spicy brained wolves

[gusty sapphire]

ye, i have noticed that

[meager vine]

yes my friends are queer too

[gusty sapphire]

yeah, out of my whole group 1 isnt neurodivergent and 1 isnt autistic but has other things. and we are all queer

[meager vine]

i dont know if i am queer or not

i don't have any attraction to anyone

[gusty sapphire]

so Asexual maybe

[meager vine]

prob

[gusty sapphire]

or one of the variants

like greysexual

[meager vine]

I'll also see when i am older when people find others attractive and all have partners

[gusty sapphire]

yeah, leaving it as questioning is always a safe option

[meager vine]

yes

[cunning dragon]

I’m also Australian : D

[meager vine]

nice

which part

I'm from west

[cunning dragon]

Queensland

[gusty sapphire]

yay, more aussies

[meager vine]

cool

[gusty sapphire]

im vic

[meager vine]

from all the different areas too

nice to know i can chat without waiting hours for a reply lol

[cunning dragon]

Yippee

[meager vine]

yayayayayayay

[gusty sapphire]

such a lovely privilage

[meager vine]

yea

[brazen stone]

Queensland too

[meager vine]

nice

[vagrant temple]

Yo there’s so many Aussies here

[true willow]

hellooo

[meager vine]

hi

[gusty sapphire]

hi

[limpid talon]

GG @gusty sapphire, you just advanced to level 3!

[gusty sapphire]

thanks

[meager vine]

nice 👍

?

[lean mason]

if u reply to mee6 it replies with an annoying ai message. it is a rule to not reply to mee6 /info

[rose plaza]

I watched them with my ear defenders quite comfortably aswell!

[sonic patrol]

Hey everyone, I have a question for anyone diagnosed with both ADHD and autism - I have someone close to me who is looking for an autism diagnosis but also wants to check for an ADHD diagnosis at the same time. They have found some centers that offer this. Does anyone have any recommendations for or against doing both assessments at once? I'm worried that it might be a lot to go through since they've never been diagnosed with anything before, like it might be hard to process both diagnoses together, since I've heard they can work against each other in some ways. Any insight would be incredibly helpful. Thanks!

[rose plaza]

I don't have adhd but my autism screening did include a short questionnaire about adhd. It doesn't offer a dual diagnosis process, but depending on the results of the one questionnaire they tell you if it's likely you have adhd aswell or not. And then you can decide if you want to do another official adhd diagnosis or if that as an inofficial result is enough for you

[brazen stone]

So when i watch movies, even if its not loud i always have my hands/fingers on my ears, always have even when i was really littke watchjnv like tom and jerry or frozen or minions, my dad suggested i wear my headphones, whicch i normally do in the theters but not at home and it was so good, but the thing was i had to take them off everytime they talked

[meager vine]

i always have fingers on ears tbh

[brazen stone]

Yea

[gusty sapphire]

I now wear ear-buds (loop) and ear defenders whenever i need proper protection for stuff, the ear-buds do enogh work but the ear defenders help in situations where there is sudden or lower pitch sounds because it by design blocks lower frequencys well because of the spacing and the seperation from the head. (sorry for spelling and stuff)

[flint widget]

Do you use ear defenders at home also? I found that helps for me

[brazen stone]

Yes now

[flint widget]

Great!

I wear my ear defenders at home a lot

I found it helps me feel better about things and not be worried if it will be overwhelming or not

[frank wigeon]

I feel like this may be more for the vent section, but its more autistic needing help so i dont know:... My mum has a go at me for my (sort of) stim where I fiddle with my hair because its annoying to her and "distracts her while we watch tv". And then yesterday, she had a go at me for stimming with my hands (like, 'flapping' them is the only way I can describe it) and she went "I wish you would stop doing that, it is very embarrassing'. She also gives me dorty looks ans keeps asking me what I'm doing when I ||verbally tic|| or like, (as gross as it sounds, but is somehow calming to me) make bubbles in my mouth abs blow and I like listening/feeling the popping... But can't do that. She is fully aware of my diagnosis or autism. Had an argument in a shop the other day because I helped do something and before I could put it away, she grabbed it out of my hand and put it away herself. She then went off about how she likes doing things in certain ways, I sarcastically said me being the only autistic in the family, she said I was, I then went hmm doubt that looking at this, and she went "yeah but unlike you I don't seeking a diagnosis for everything"... I honestly don't know what to do

[swift girder]

Hello!!

[gusty sapphire]

Hi

[meager vine]

hi

[true willow]

Hii

[buoyant pecan]

my autistic self doesn't know if u want me to respond politely and comfort u, explains stuff, give advice, just read and acknowledge your conflict, or none of the above so i'm sorry if i made the wrong choice but here is the one i ended up choosing

stimming isn't embarrassing, all people do it! it's a form of self regulation and it's good for u! it sucks that ur mum doesn't understand and ridicules u for it, that's messed up. and besides, a diagnosis is helpful. although there are definitely cons, it helps u understand urself better. b4 getting the validation from a doctor (even tho self diagnosis is v valid) i felt like a weirdo, an alien, a human that doesnt function well, etc. a diagnosis allows me to understand my brain better !! i hope u find friends or a community (like this server heheh) that accept u and doesn't shame u for stimings or j exhibiting autistic traits in general. that's so not cool of ur mum (sorry im not trying to be mean!!!) :0

[frank wigeon]

Thankyou, I just wanted something. I don't understand why she thinks it's embarrassing, I hate it. She also moves things around in my flat (like, she folded up my clothes on my chair that has trousers and jumpers on... I had it in certain places and she just folded them to where she wanted them). I think she was trying to help, but it doesn't and I was balling my eyes out last night. I just wish she understood. I don't know how to make her understand

[wet patrol]

I hate being autistic

[modern veldt]

I understand where you come from. I think the best thing to do is focus on one or two positives that come with having autism - for each person this is different but for me I met my two closest friends because of my autism and I wouldn’t trade them for anything. So the to focus on one or two good things even if your autism means you have a ||shit|| day

[wet patrol]

I’m not saying it’s a bad thing I just don’t like it because there’s things I really wish for that I could be better at but can’t cuz i function that way

[modern veldt]

Yeah I understand that it took a lot of time before I became ok with missing out but I think I am better of because of my autism

[past rapids]

I am queer and autistic

[meager vine]

hi

we possess the tism

[buoyant pecan]

tism gangggg

[gusty sapphire]

woop woop
tism

[buoyant pecan]

[gusty sapphire]

🤘

[brazen stone]

Tism

[meager vine]

tism my new stim

[meager vine]

T I S M

[gusty sapphire]

I love that, I really should get back into making stuff like that

[rose plaza]

That's really sweet.
Personally, I think it's also totally understandable and fine to have a neutral standpoint.
It's not something you can change and you wouldn't be the same without it. Yes, it brings challenges and yes, it can bring positives, but at the end, it just is.

[idle elm]

tissssmmmmm

kitty ↩️

[Reply to:](#1176007949034995753 message) tism gangggg

[idle elm]

nervously says me

[mellow sphinx]

I’m very much full of the tism

[meager vine]

T I S M

[mellow sphinx]

T I S M

[limpid talon]

GG @mellow sphinx, you just advanced to level 4!

[meager vine]

yay congratulations 😀

um.. 🫥

[mellow sphinx]

Lol

[lean mason]

its in the rules to not reply to mee6 bc if u do it will reply with a long annoying ai message /info /nm
#rules message

[meager vine]

ok 👍

[rose plaza]

Any advice on how to tell your parents you're autistic?
They're generally nice and understanding, though they have mentioned they don't think I could be autistic cause I have good grades.
But I think once they've read more about it and loose the stereotypes they would get it.
I do want to let them know, but I'm very afraid of confrontation and bad with direkt emotional conversations.
I've been thinking about if it would be possible/okay to just lay my diagnosis paper on the kitchen table with two books from autistic authors before I leave for school, but I don't know if that's reasonable

[lean mason]

you definitely can do that if thats what you're comfortable with. if ure able to u could even add a little note quickly explaining ure afraid of confrontation andbbad with direct emotional conversations.

[idle elm]

I went to my parents and said papa, dad my friends who are autistic said that the way I act and what I say I relate to and my struggles line up with autism. So I went to uncle Norway and me and him came up with a list that shows how I relate to autism and who I think I am. My parents read it and my dad and papa said. Son were both autistic and this is a very detailed list you made. We have notice autistic traes in you and autism runs in the family. We will scedual to get you tested. Just know autistic or not we love you and your special and capable of more then you could ever imagin and we will help and love you always

Emma ↩️

[Reply to:](#1176007949034995753 message) Any advice on how to tell your parents you're autistic?
They're generally nice and understanding, th…

then at 8 years old I was diagnosed with lv 2 and a half autism the same lv my papa has

[rose plaza]

That's a good idea, thank you! /gen

[vagrant temple]

Anybody else struggle with feeling invalid bc of the level you were given? When I was diagnosed autistic I was diagnosed as level 1, which in a way feels invalidating but also validating. It feels like there still could be something more but it isn’t getting paid attention to and level 1 feels like it’s saying that I am fine and don’t need much support. I feel it just invalidates me even more

As I’m unmasking and becoming more of what feels like me I feel like level 1 just doesn’t match purely bc the name sounds like it says I’m ‘only a little bit autistic’

[frank wigeon]

I was just told "you're autistic" in a letter

[mellow sphinx]

Does anyone else hold their breath when the fridge is open because of the sensory issues?

[meager vine]

thought i was the only one lol

i hold my breath for lots of things

[young fossil]

You’re given the diagnosis because you are struggling. Your aren’t more or less. I haven’t got a level along with my diagnosis, but I suspect I’d also be a level 1. For me it doesn’t matter as I don’t think it reflect my needs on support. However this may change over time as you learn strategies and find ways to cope with your difficulties. It’s also very common to become “more disabled” due to unmasking. It’s not that your level is wrong, it’s just you trying to relearn a bunch of stuff in a way that works for you.

When unmasking in some ways you loses functions that you thought you had. Yes you did have those, but it wasn’t functions that worked for your autistic mind. It’s scary to not suppress overstimulation or to accommodate for a self that you didn’t knew of cause it’s a lot of self doubt and imposter syndrome in that.

As you unmask you will regain those abilities, but they will be more aligned with how you work, not how neurotypical works.

All people on the spectrum struggles in some way. That’s why we are here. Then we can find tools to make the struggles less, but we are still part of this group.

I’m going to stop now. Just rambling 😅 Hope you’ve got something out of it.

[meager vine]

thanks for the nice ramble helps a lot 😀

[buoyant pecan]

our trash can is in a drawer, i open it while holding my breath and shut it as quickly as i can 😔

[vagrant temple]

Thanks, it explains it more for me and what I’ve experienced /gen

There is a lot of imposter syndrome and self doubt about my abilities, like I feel like when I eventually live on my own or at least without my parents, then I’m just gonna go into a slump of getting overwhelmed constantly by all the chores I’d have to do and cleaning and cooking and I’d just give up and do none of it which would then make my sensory issues worse. I do have a habit of worrying really far into the future tho

[young fossil]

A cliché, but you are 100% not alone in these worries

[vagrant temple]

Yeah I’m having a lot of ‘maybe I could have a carer, but if I have a carer am I really level 1? Maybe I’m just a really high masking level 2 or I got misdiagnosed or I’m exaggerating or faking it”

[young fossil]

I would say ditch the level thing.

Everyone is so different a number won’t help you get any more accommodations. They should accommodate based on your personal needs, not a number.

Autism and other neurodiverse types are often affected different by their disabilities from day to day. Your need for support will differ from day to day, even hour to hour.

[vagrant temple]

Thanks, I’ve had this talk over and over with my counsellor but I don’t feel like she understands. Talking about it to someone who is actually autistic has helped a lot /gen

[young fossil]

Glad to help out :)

[buoyant pecan]

lwk i want the dsm to implement those colour wheels ! idk if u guys know what im talking abt but its a color wheel and the levels vary depending on how much u struggle w a certain aspect of asd

tho ig then u could also argue that support needs fluctuate

[vagrant temple]

Omg that would be so useful actually

[vagrant temple]

It would help to create a more personal profile yk?

[young fossil]

I think if they are just aware of that it changes rapidly then it could work.

[vagrant temple]

Yeah

[young fossil]

Perhaps if you evaluate it once a year or so to keep it up to date.

[vagrant temple]

Oooo that’s a really good idea/gen

[young fossil]

I think the labels in this wheel is quite of though.

[vagrant temple]

Yeah

[buoyant pecan]

yeaa this one !!

i feel like a digital version where u can manually slide up and down to change it depending on ur day would be nice

[vagrant temple]

Oooo yesssss

I could make a mini version to show people so then I don’t have to tell them or explain anything every day

[buoyant pecan]

you guys should check out "the autism project" on tiktok !!

they're like a student who made like cards w that kind of wheel

and your personal autistic traits ?

and the design is v cute :]

[young fossil]

I think I've seen some of it on pintrest, I recognise it!

[vagrant temple]

Oooo cool, I don’t have TikTok tho, do you know if they are on YouTube as well?

[lunar cargo]

the levels system accounts for that though, that's why it's based on your average needs

[young fossil]

Okay. I don't have the level system where I live.

[lunar cargo]

fair lol

[young fossil]

I tried making one in google sheets, it was a mess.

[buoyant pecan]

erm i don't think so? not sure

[young fossil]

is that their @ on tiktok?

[buoyant pecan]

yep

this creator !!

[meager vine]

what is imposter syndrome

[brazen stone]

There is a website online where you can do this tho its not personal watsitcalled labels but its good and fairly accurate

[meager vine]

what is the website

[brazen stone]

Idk

I did it a couple times idk what its called thk

Maybe search up like tests relating to the subject? With piecchart at the end?

[meager vine]

ok

[rose plaza]

I can relate to that a lot. I've never lived alone so I can't know what it would be like, but I imagine it like you do, because I already have no energy to do stuff now when I come home from school

[cunning dragon]

IDRlabs

[brazen stone]

Thanks

[gusty sapphire]

I don't fully understand this (but i am off meds) 🫣

[mellow sphinx]

This is mine

[meager vine]

where do u go to do this

[steel pewter]

Mine. Honestly? It tracks

[steel pewter]

IDRlabs

[meager vine]

found it thanks

[steel pewter]

Two notes on this: I think ‘poor eye contact’ should be ‘odd eye contact’ ( or literally anything that acknowledges that some autistic folks can and will stare you in the eyes 24/7 ) and also, I think ‘social difficulty’ here is defined oddly in the questions

[meager vine]

yea

[limpid talon]

GG @meager vine, you just advanced to level 11!

[meager vine]

do u guys always have something small u carry?

[steel pewter]

Yee, one of my crochet octos

[meager vine]

i have this really small car my parents tried to take it off me before going to school 😭

i was so sad that day

[steel pewter]

This one

He’s pocket sized and his name’s Theseus ( reference to the greek myth cause all my octos are named after characters in Greek myths )

[meager vine]

love him 😀

[steel pewter]

Wait, which category is that question for even?

[meager vine]

idk it was a question

i have this

[steel pewter]

Nice

[meager vine]

since i am not allowed to bring it anymore i have a capsule with a picture of it inside and a glow in the dark sticker

[steel pewter]

Why aren’t you allowed to bring it???

[brazen stone]

Yess multiple fidgets- currentlu its a small bead lizard, a infinity cube and a marble and mesh and pccasionally, fidget cube

I also gave a bunch of stuffed keychains on my backpack and in my backpack i have a stuffed toy which is half rabbit half teddy bear

[brazen stone]

Fidgets i assume

[meager vine]

yea

[brazen stone]

Ill send a pic of everything later

[meager vine]

ok 😀

[steel pewter]

That’s a bit odd then, comfort items aren’t necessarily fidgets

[meager vine]

my comfort item isn't a fidget

[brazen stone]

These are my main ones- i also have a small lizard and a bead shaker but i left them outside and cant be bothered to get them rn

[brazen stone]

Yea neither

I do have fidgets tho

But also comfort items

[meager vine]

my fidgets r dragons

[brazen stone]

This is my comfort item that i bring with me, tho the ones on keychains are also always there, i have different at home ones tho

[steel pewter]

That is the greatest thing I’ve ever seen

It’s so skrunkly

[brazen stone]

Thank youuuu😁

[buoyant pecan]

fidgets!!

[meager vine]

nice 👍

[lean mason]

yes, a carabiner

also my tangle is always in my pocket

but yeah i always have a carabiner hanging from one of my belt loops

[stuck apex]

I always have a handful of fidgets in my pocket: my infinity cube, a little marble maze like fidget and those acupressure rings

I also have some chestnuts in my jacket lol

[rose plaza]

I always carry a Tangle and my loops
A friend gifted me a little crocheted bumble bee which I also carry with me now
It doubles as a tiny stress ball ^-^

[meager vine]

same my friend also crocheted a little tiger for me for my birthday

[fervent basin]

When I told my psychologist that I thought I was autistic I couldn’t say it so I handed her a 12 page document I made and printed out before the appointment 💀

[limpid talon]

GG @fervent basin, you just advanced to level 5!

[vagrant temple]

Lmao, 12 pages is amazing tho. I commend you for doing that much

[meager vine]

wow 12 pages i can barely write a 5 page essay lol

[rose plaza]

I also couldn't say it out loud and wrote my therapist a letter that I put in their mailbox before i went off on holiday
It wasn't twelve pages though🤯 /lh

[stuck apex]

I also always carry my loops with me. I put them on my keychain so I don't forget them.

[vagrant temple]

I always wear a fidget ring when I’m out of the house, and I always bring my headphones and phone

[tacit whale]

I just had to share, I’m finally getting an autism consultation chat on Monday after 3 years of trying to get help!!

[brazen stone]

Yay

[meager vine]

yay

[hoary wind]

tism here, probably, tism friend thinks so, as well as me and others, but parents are no help yayy

[limpid talon]

GG @hoary wind, you just advanced to level 3!

[visual brook]

My parents wanna change the layout of the lounge and dining room completely and get rid of the couchhh and theyre like "its not a big change" but it is to meee

And now these girls are changing the plans that were made 2 days ago 15min before we were supposed to call

Aaaa

Really hate group work

Cant plan anything