DID/OSDD-1 System Chat

[hybrid skiff]

We make a picrew first when first discovering ourselves than we draw ourselves after getting a clear idea

[heady hornet]

we do all the time but no one seems to pick up on it. we have osdd and we went through severe medical trauma such as constant misdiagnosis, multiple unexplained near death experiences, malpractice ect and we didn't know we were a system until our partner came oit as being a system abd everr since then we've ised we/us most of the time. hope this helps
-The Laundry Mat System

[hybrid skiff]

We accidentally have too😭

[rose oxide]

i love your system name, its so goofy

[heady hornet]

our parents don't seem to notice anything. they might think its between all of the other mental problems we have

[heady hornet]

thank you :)

[rose oxide]

we dont have a goofy name, but idk what ours would be considered

[heady hornet]

wjat is it

[rose oxide]

liminal hypernova collective

i like the word liminal

[wind shell]

i like the word liminal too and idk why

[rose oxide]

i think it describes our brain and dissociation in the best way possible

and i also like calling headspace the backrooms, and the front space the front rooms

its funny

[heady hornet]

YESSS

[digital abyss]

you cant choose to be nonverbal

[rose oxide]

yeah, we talked throught that

i used the wrong terms

[digital abyss]

ah no worries

thats the only thing i saw

[rose oxide]

:d

[pulsar wren]

I thought it was :p ? /gen

[rose oxide]

:p

i use both emoticons

[hybrid skiff]

what does :d mean then

/genq

[rose oxide]

:d is just an emoticon with the tongue out going up instead of down

:d tongue up, :p tongue down.

blep

[pulsar wren]

Oh

[wind shell]

going.. up? 😭

like touching your nose??

[acoustic fjord]

Regarding the verbality topic, I'm verbal but I often struggle to start up a flow of conversation on my end. I used to be better at it msot of my life. I don't know what happened.

(hopefully there will be a channel for that)

[rose oxide]

we made a verbality forum thing

[weak basin]

GG @rose oxide, you just advanced to level 9!

[rose oxide]

for anyone who wants to talk about that stuff

[acoustic fjord]

oohhh

[floral niche]

Oh boy, this makes me feel crazy
Does anyone else have alts that cling to characters and almost like BECOMES them/similar to them?
It feels so weird and it's a few that do this?

[wind shell]

We’ve had parts who are in the process of splitting/freshly split who have taken on the identity of a character due to that being thought as needed.

It’s not uncommon for a system to have fictives

Or factives

Proxyy oops

[floral niche]

Yeah, but they've been here for some time now and I don't know if it's the same concept

[wind shell]

Hmmm

I mean DID/OSDD-1 are complex dissociative disorders so I guess a lot is possible to some extent

I don’t think we’ve experienced it personally yet

But that’s not to say it can’t happen

I think we’ve had that?

⌠ Mx. ☀🕊 ⌡ ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) Oh boy, this makes me feel crazy
Does anyone else have alts that cling to characters and almost like…

Very unsure if we have

[wet willow]

this sounds odd but how do you guys have with like an Internal monologue and things like that? for us, we all share one but it's very scattered and not everyone can be heard through it but it's all in one voice, yet we all sometimes can hear each other/others distinctly with their voices and ways of talking. sometimes we have both simultaneously and it gets confusing fast as we also have suspected ADHD so the internal monologue is chaos and then suddenly 2 people are just having a conversation? idk if this seems odd or if you people have similar?

sorry that's a lot or words

[wind shell]

I getcha, thats why it so hard for us to know whats going on. We thought the voices were just our internal monologue but we thought it was normal to able to hold a conversation and different personalities

[wind shell]

Most the time we can hear people doing their jobs, some working together, the littles laughing but the loudest one is denmark. He has always been loud and able to be heard above all and some don't talk much like me and Astrid and Norway

[maiden plover]

It's interesting how people hear other parts cause I don't really hear anything ever

I sometimes am able to speak to 1 or 2 other parts but rarely

[wind shell]

It's normally like people talking about patrolling the inner world border aka the protectors doing their job, little Anastasia talking as she is our gate keeper, denmark talking loud and laughing, the little laughing because someone has to watch them so someone will be playing with them and like today my boys were learning about me and their dad's job and one was like papa can we be like you one day excetra when it comes to conversation

[wet willow]

yeah, that's how it for us. I think we all control the inner monologue slightly in a way we can converse somewhat but we very very rarely are able to have true conversations between alters (term we use personally)

[maiden plover]

Same, I also lack an inner world mostly, most of the time if I do speak to parts, they're insulting me

[wind shell]

pfft yeah same

MattMatee (He/Xim) ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) Same, I also lack an inner world mostly, most of the time if I do speak to parts, they're insulting …

we all bully each other

[maiden plover]

I mean I wouldn't laugh about it, it's pretty awful

[digital abyss]

Same

most of the time its joking insults for us but we do have an alter who will degrade whoever is fronting into a dpdr episode

[wind shell]

oh no yeah that happens alot too but theres also good moments but no theres terrible terrible moments thats happened

[maiden plover]

Most of my parts I don't think intentionally try to be mean but they get frustrated, they all disagree with each other and think others are wrong, making intentional decisions etc and insult each other as a result but the insults aren't nice. I do have 1 part like you said you did, who does intentionally attempt to degrade parts into submission or dissociation

[wind shell]

I fear im in a good mood today and not that serious rn apologies 😭

[maiden plover]

It

Oops

It's okay

[digital abyss]

People be thinking havin' parts is all fun and games until they bully you so hard you relapse like it is not a big happy family at ALL

[maiden plover]

I wasn't critising or angry at you, I was just explaining what I meant and what I meant wasn't a light hearted thing

[wind shell]

yeah 😭

oh yeah nws!!

[maiden plover]

Yes, it's a very dysfunctional "family" lol

[wind shell]

yeah no yeah theres been absolutely terrible moments and quite often aswell.

[maiden plover]

"I had a very dysfunctional family growing up, but now I have parts which are an even more dysfunctional version of that! Yippeeeeee!"

[digital abyss]

Ong 🙏 Like someone told my therapist about my religion and she said "god that's gonna be hard to intigrate"

Being a system with religious trauma and having parts who are religious makes so much conflict

[digital abyss]

LMAO fr

Bonus points -- no one can decide what to do for a career

one of us wanrs to be a cop while the othwr is extremly acab

it is so fucking tiring 😭🙏

not a vent jst like "im glad ppl are in the same boat as me"

[maiden plover]

Tbh I'm just doing my career

[digital abyss]

were so far dissociated apart that we have horrific amnesia gaps

blackout barriers

its gonna be a bit 🙏

for us ^

[wind shell]

this 😭 we are so conflicted on what we want to do

@s off｜TOOTHVOiD — ?¿ ⋆ . ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) Bonus points -- no one can decide what to do for a career

[midnight drift]

On this, phrases I hate because I didn't know I had DID because of them:

• "That voice in the back of my mind"
  Wdym people aren't holding full conversations when their head tells them something bad is happening?
• "Inner voice"
  Everyone has a voice in their head. Wait it's only one? I'm sure a few other people have multiple like me
• "Inner child"
  Nobody explained that it's not literally a child in their head

Ect (might add more but it's currently 1am lol)

[digital abyss]

literally. we have littles in age who have adult mindsets

a frequemt fronter of ours is yhat way

pk;m 41 desc

[faint solstice]

Member description

-# “The doctor said that I have tomato loss— alright..”

41　𝄈　🐇
-# they / it / bun — andro
-# — 11 y/o
-# Treat me like I'm 15! I don't have a little's mindset.
headspace manager　𝄈　iwcr

ask to front — sure :D
pda / flirting — no!!
tonetags — suresure
source talk — ask first!

-# “we had spaghetti with long term memory sauce.. alright-!”

​

To print the description with formatting, type pk;member 41 description -raw. To clear it, type pk;member 41 description -clear. Using 614/1000 characters.

[wind shell]

yeah😭

Alex - @Ping me! [✨] ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) On this, phrases I hate because I didn't know I had DID because of them:

• "That voice in the back o…

[wind shell]

Was there a bunch messages in here just a second ago? /genq /nf

I swear I was reading and left and they disappeared

Oh nvm

Wrong channel 😭😭

[wind shell]

Server got a bot attack so message were deleted

Nova/Noah - he/they ||BIRDS ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) Was there a bunch messages in here just a second ago? /genq /nf

Good thing the server is to big to get phone notifications because they would of gone off the hook

[pulsar wren]

I think Noah confused this chat and #1371133630474096690

[wind shell]

Yeah lmao 😭

ArsonCrows [☀🪶] ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) I think Noah confused this chat and #1371133630474096690

Thanks though Blake

[hybrid skiff]

Oh gotcha np np lol

[wind shell]

this has been said before but rapid switching sucks

[maiden plover]

I agree

[weak basin]

GG @maiden plover, you just advanced to level 6!

[maiden plover]

Thanks mee6 I guess lol

[wind shell]

been trying to go to bed for 1 hour i think

like it was meh at the beginning then every minute or two. and now it’s back to meh

[wind shell]

now in bed.

very good.

[fallow mango]

Heya I’m back again! So my partner has told me about their alters and she does shift when we chat sometimes and I would like to know what do? /gen

Since I don’t know much about DID i would like to know 😭 /nf

[rose oxide]

you should probably ask her about it, cause they might have different preferences for what you do, compared to other systems ^^

[wind shell]

Like tweek said its better to ask them personally but in general you can just let them switch and ask who's fronting if they're comfortable with that and yea just ask questions instead of assuming. If you don't know then just ask them or I guess here but sometimes it's better to ask the system so they can tell you exactly what they want or need

°•officiallyweirdandgay🌈•° ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) Heya I’m back again! So my partner has told me about their alters and she does shift when we chat so…

[maiden plover]

I agree, I can't tell you how many times people have just assumed I want to be asked "who's fronting" because they have experience with other people with parts wanting that. Some people are very comfortable with that type of thing and some people are more conservative so it's best to ask about their preferences

[wind shell]

it differs within our system as well, some want to say, others don’t. some alters will tell everyone (that’s safe to tell), some will tell certain people and some won’t tell anybody who they are.

[maiden plover]

Also it can sometimes be very disorientating to be asked who you are due to identity confusion. It can cause dissociation by focusing attention on the internal workings of the self.

[pulsar wren]

We don’t even know who’s fronting like half the time

“Who’s fronting?”
“I don’t know who I am, you tell me; Dave, who’s fronting?” “Dave doesn’t know either”

( yes, we have an alter named Dave/David )

[rose oxide]

dave is such a name /silly

[pulsar wren]

Yea

[rose oxide]

we have a friend named dave hes so silly

[pulsar wren]

We have a range from boring ass names to the most interesting names imaginable

[maiden plover]

I like dave as a name

it sounds comforting

[pulsar wren]

We have David/Dave, Michael, Charles/Charlie, etc. but we also have Medic, Bee, and Sin

[maiden plover]

I used to have a part named bee

I don't remember if she split or merged

[pulsar wren]

Technically their name is Tubbo/Tubbee but we just shorten it to Bee cause we have another Tubbo that just goes by that and it’s confusing

[rose oxide]

we're always super disoriented/dissociated, so we just always use the hosts name or collective name

[maiden plover]

Most of my parts have just never felt comfortable disclosing themselves except a few but because I never get asked because most just say me and my friends don't really see me as my disorders (That'd be weird), no parts that would tell others if asked ever get asked

[rose oxide]

i know with irl friends it can be disorienting/triggering if asked whos fronting sometimes, unless its our partner or best friend

[pulsar wren]

I think the idea that’s weird is weird. Everyone in a system is an alter/part, it’s a disorder that fundamentally affects the identity itself so why would it not be part of who one is?

[rose oxide]

with online friends, its usually not important whos fronting, so we dont really care 🤷

[maiden plover]

I'm saying it'd be weird if my friends saw me as my disorders? I don't think that's a weird stance, I think that's something disabled people have been fighting for for decades. Someone can acknowledge symptoms and differing experiences without viewing you as your disorder.

[rose oxide]

we all respond to the same names anyways 😭

[pulsar wren]

It’s not??? We’ve been fighting to be seen as disabled people. People who — you know — need accommodation and need our disorders acknowledged and accounted for???

[maiden plover]

What do you think I'm saying? Because I never opposed any of that

[pulsar wren]

The way you’re phrased your message, especially the ‘it’s weird’, made it sound like to be perceived by anyone as having DID is weird

[maiden plover]

That isn't what I said though. I said that it'd be weird to view someone as their disorder. Viewing someone as their disorder means you exclusively assume that their existence revolves entirely around their disability/disorder. Meaning you don't consider their interest, like, dislikes. It's a form of dehumanisation.

I never said it was weird to perceive someone as having a disorder or DID for that matter

[pulsar wren]

Okay, we have different definitions of how this works, that’s fine, it’s whatever

Back to the conversation

[maiden plover]

How what works?

[pulsar wren]

Being disabled

[maiden plover]

How do you think being disabled "works"?

Also for the record, my original message was referring to my own experience exclusively. I was saying it'd be weird for me for my friends to view me exclusively as my disorder

[pulsar wren]

Can we not. I just asked us to get back to the actual conversation at hand

[maiden plover]

Okay. I would prefer if you are unwilling to see a discussion through to its finish that you do not begin the discussion with me in the future. Thank you.

[pulsar wren]

I just don’t like arguments

Anyways; alter names. That’s what we were talking about.

[wind shell]

most of ours have pretty boring names

(Imo)

[pulsar wren]

Fair. Some of us have title names. Or just, like, titles

Cause our sources don’t have names

[wind shell]

Yeah

[pulsar wren]

Some of them sound really badass

[maiden plover]

Sorry not trying to continue the previous discussion but I didn't realise we were arguing. I'm sorry if I came off that way.

[wind shell]

Like mine /silly
obviously I’m biased towards me

ArsonCrows [☀🪶] ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) Some of them sound really badass

From what I’ve read it did come across like that a bit

MattMatee (He/Xim) ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) Sorry not trying to continue the previous discussion but I didn't realise we were arguing. I'm sorry…

[maiden plover]

Ah, I was merely trying to clear up the misconception of my words, I don't really understand tone or how I "Come off" often.

[maiden plover]

Like knight or king?

[pulsar wren]

One is “Angel of death” badass as shit. Can also be read accidentally as “King of death” technically in the original language ( cause the word ملك ( king ) and ملاك ( angel ) ) are spelled really similarly )

[wind shell]

That’s where we normally use tone tags

MattMatee (He/Xim) ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) Ah, I was merely trying to clear up the misconception of my words, I don't really understand tone or…

Ooooo

ArsonCrows [☀🪶] ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) One is “Angel of death” badass as shit. Can also be read accidentally as “King of death” technically…

[maiden plover]

But I don't know my own tone so I sometimes can't use tone tags

[maiden plover]

Is the origin of Angel from the middle east?

[pulsar wren]

The English word?

Or the alter?

[maiden plover]

the word.

[pulsar wren]

Oh, no, Angel originates in greek. When I said ‘the original language’, I was referring to the fact that alter’s name isn’t written in English, I’m just translating it for the sake of this conversation

[maiden plover]

Oh do you speak the original language? I think it's in arabic if I'm not mistaken

[pulsar wren]

Yea, that’s how I’m able to translate it

It’s in Arabic, yea

Also, fun fact about Arabic; I have zero idea how you would refer to a non-binary person in Arabic

[maiden plover]

It probably doesn't exist

like french

[wind shell]

I can't escape Arabic apparently 😭 /lh /hj

ArsonCrows [☀🪶] ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) Also, fun fact about Arabic; I have zero idea how you would refer to a non-binary person in Arabic

[pulsar wren]

It’s interesting cause we don’t have pronouns. It’s the verbs themselves and adjectives change based on gender of the person doing the action. So, like, see /masc and see /fem kind of thing

[maiden plover]

Yes, similar to french

Oh no, not similar to french

I am incorrect

French has gendered stuff but not based on your gender

similar to Polish though

[pulsar wren]

So like يرى is saw /masc, ترى is saw /fem

[pulsar wren]

Lmao

[pulsar wren]

Would you refer to them by the plural?

like ‎نرى ?

Anyways, I have to go, I’ve got things

[wind shell]

we have a variety of names too

most being oddball

(points at myself)

[acoustic fjord]

we have "iel" and "ael" now

neopronouns

[desert crag]

it does exist in french actually :D

[desert crag]

didnt see ur reply

[desert crag]

i also did not see this one before replying

[wind shell]

Does anyone else’s frequent fronters change loads?
For us, it’s got to the point where we consider “active alters” those who fronted this month.

[hybrid skiff]

Yeah it happens, for awhile it was semi consistent but now its just whoever decides to show up

[wind shell]

Our co-host is barely a co-host cause bro is hard to get to front but hes a common fronter annnd the one whos mostly active besides me so yee

Yeah ok

I’m just really trying to figure out how to stabilise it because honestly it’s too disordering to manage right now

[heady hornet]

our host, co-host, gatekeeper, and multiple protectors front the most

[wind shell]

Alrighty
I think biggest issue for us is that there is a “host” frequent fronter but never for that long either

Ehh we’ll figure it iut

[wind shell]

That's normal for us

Yeah

I think we’re just wanting to un-disorder ourself, but without processing stuff properly first or being in a completely ‘happy’ situation

[wind shell]

We've literally had to change our sys intro on pk like every week because it changes like every week smh

Hermes || He/They 🪽🧮 ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) Does anyone else’s frequent fronters change loads?
For us, it’s got to the point where we consider “…

[wind shell]

I feel like our experience of having a host is pretty unique cause it’s like- you’re completely frontstuck now good luck
And when host changes happen we don’t always notice immediately especially this time cause it was around the time an event was happening and I assumed “oh he’s just taking a break from front” and now I’m here like 24/7 but I split from him anyways

Sorry that sentence was a bit of a mess

[maiden plover]

Do you change environments often? Parts come to front through triggers so if you're changing what triggers you're around often it could cause those who come into control often to change drastically

The best thing you can do to try and stabilise it is to understand what triggers parts to front and try to control that within your environment

[rose oxide]

so like,, p-did?

[maiden plover]

It's probably not the best to suggest specific diagnosis' like this

[rose oxide]

i didnt mean it like that- thats just what i tohught of when they explained it like that

[wind shell]

I don’t think so

★ tweek [hypernova] ★ ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) so like,, p-did?

Dunno if that’s a diagnosis in Australia either brb

[rose oxide]

probably shouldve worded it more like "so similar to something like p-did?"

[wind shell]

Yeah idk I haven’t looked into it much?

But it could also be just called osdd anyway

[maiden plover]

Probably "Those symptoms could possibly be caused by something like P-DID, maybe you could look into it?"

That brings up the concerns of a specific disorder and encourages the person to look into it without inadvertantly stating they their symptoms "are" the diagnosis you suggest

[weak basin]

GG @maiden plover, you just advanced to level 7!

[maiden plover]

Under the DSM-5 it would

P-DID isn't a diagnosis in the DSM-5. Through if you have other parts front sometimes then it could just be a host who's fairly resistent to triggers

[wet willow]

for us, we find it interesting when people talk about hosts, as for us we don't hugely have one. we just have someone who fronts a little more than the others for a few days before returning to normal. I think it partially due to combined with system things, we used to have to behave so many different ways around different people due to how we grew up, so there isn't a solid host identity anymoee

[maiden plover]

I know people with DID who didn't switch for years to the point where they thought their diagnosis was incorrect

[wind shell]

Also I feel like we generally do switch more than the description of p-did suggests but also for some reason talking about this specifically is making me uncomfy (/nm) so I’m gonna stop probably

[wind shell]

We don’t really. But we did up until January 2024. So could be the brain hasn’t processed that yet but I don’t know honestly. It’s definitely slowly getting better though - only 8 of us so far this month

MattMatee (He/Xim) ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) Do you change environments often? Parts come to front through triggers so if you're changing what tr…

[ember vessel]

you could keep a box of stuff that’s yours. like hobbies, clothes, makeup, books and favourite stuff. have a list of favourite songs, content creators, tv shows and movies to catch up with/listen/watch when you can. private journal maybe. not really sure otherwise.

also if you’re going to use pk in the server then you need the we have alters role.

[wind shell]

Yes try to keep your stuff in a place for you. We are trying in the system to gather stuff like clothing, hobby items, some gaming stuff that is just us, what helps us with our medical issues and long lasting snacks in the boxes since we have rare non diabetic hypoglycemia and always need sometning on the go just in case

[hybrid skiff]

why did you do it two times

[digital abyss]

proxy fail probably

[wind shell]

they were trying to edit it but it didn’t work i think?

like cause there’s no command. i don’t know its a guess

[hybrid skiff]

ah gotcha

[wind shell]

Proxy edit fail and just realized it now. Been anxious, busy and confused today so didn't notice

V!rus [He/They] [🥀] ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) why did you do it two times

Also its lovely to feel switchy at a bus transit center when you really want to go home but your bus got you here 6 minutes late so you have to wait another hour alone

[rain remnant]

Respectful questions from another server I’m in; as she said you’re under no obligation to answer <3

(I will also send your responses back to her but they don’t have to have a name attached or anything)

[limpid siren]

From the two introjects we had-
Fictive: He did read his source and knew the character but was not attatched however he did occasionally like to see the world through his source's POV and explore the world he was "from"
Factive: She did not want anything to do with her source, did not identify with it or want to watch or hear about her.
Hopefully that makes sense- if you have any questions let me know

[wind shell]

We have all watched the sorces all us nordic 5 are from and its actually really good to us and funny to. We love to read the manga were in and see what situations humans put us in. Its very entertaining. We don't identify with it but we still love it and our host identity owns the whole anime its their favorite anime

caspien gray | ping if desired ↩️

[(click to see attachment)](#1151243634876891246 message)

We have talked during therapy and we believe that me and Finland came to be around in 2008 when our host identity was 8 to help them with their trauma and with Denmark, Norway and Iceland came and joined the system in 2009 to also help with their trauma

[rain remnant]

(Dahlia thanks you all btw. You’re welcome to keep adding)

[wind shell]

[pulsar wren]

Some of us do, some of us don’t. We still engage in Darcy’s source media and some other introjects too but we refuse to engage in Tommy + Tubbo + Ranboo + Bee’s source media because of the creators involved

[rain remnant]

That sounds fair enough

[wind shell]

We find it odd that people like to ship me and Denmark. I mean were friends but never fell in love

[pulsar wren]

Eh, people will ship anyone together

[wind shell]

True

[rain remnant]

Does it feel weird to see people shipping you and your head mates? Do you register your source similarly to yourself, or as like a separate thing? /no obligation to answer still

[pulsar wren]

Gabriel is cringing rn, apparently he just recalled some Gabriel x Michael ship art and now I get to laugh at him

[digital abyss]

Fictive's aren't their source so it truly depends fictive to fictive. They might not care for a difference, or their background may shift. It depends as such.

As for watching source-- yes. A lot. I know our OC introjects get front triggered by their source (mostly because we voice act ourselves) but for external media it's kinda a "yeah that's me lol"

[wind shell]

Well I do find it odd except me and finland but that is because I have always loved him and the norway and me is eh I mean we did date for a little bit but after that we had a falling out. But were still great friends

caspien gray | ping if desired ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) Does it feel weird to see people shipping you and your head mates? Do you register your source simil…

[digital abyss]

For Bon and Sha, they're so different they don't even care. If anything, I don't think they've fronted together once! Sha-- moreso Rosemary is more connected to source. Bon could give less of a fuck-- he just "looks like the guy".

[wind shell]

Oh no, I looked some up to laugh at him more and I found art shipping me and Musa’s source and now I’m cringing

ArsonCrows [☀🪶] ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) Gabriel is cringing rn, apparently he just recalled some Gabriel x Michael ship art and now I get to…

it’s weird

caspien gray | ping if desired ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) Does it feel weird to see people shipping you and your head mates? Do you register your source simil…

You see me and all the nordics but Iceland were childhood friends. Then when Iceland was born we became close to

Icelands age gap between us nordics is quite big

[digital abyss]

However, dating a system with fellow introjects of the same source gets funky. I'm dating my boyfriend who is from the same source as me, and so is Nine (co-con) with his partner. Nine is dating someone he is close "childhood friends" with in the series, who do end up dating each other canonically. However me, Mendax, and my boyfriend Game is--- a bit different.. I was the main villian in the series, and I most certainly was not kind to him 😭🙏

@hybrid skiff ps

[wind shell]

huh whta ive been somepned

[digital abyss]

read up lol

[wind shell]

summined

oki

[digital abyss]

i was mentioning yall

thats all

[wind shell]

Our fictive don't rly front that much but they personally don't care so they could or couldn't if they wanted to. As for factives they usually detach a lot especially if they're people we know irl personally so they tend to avoid their sources

Then if the source storyline changes sometimes the alters change and sometimes they don't

caspien gray | ping if desired ↩️

[(click to see attachment)](#1151243634876891246 message)

[digital abyss]

Our two factives as well are kinda like "I look like the guy/gal" and thats about it

[wind shell]

Don’t even mention how me and Game are technically the same character too But yeah

@s off｜TOOTHVOiD — ?¿ ⋆ . ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) However, dating a system with fellow introjects of the same source gets funky. I'm dating my boyfrie…

[pulsar wren]

Ours are, to quote Tommy, “I’m him but not a Brit”

[digital abyss]

oh my god i forgot bout that

[digital abyss]

LMAO??

[wind shell]

Yeah lol

[digital abyss]

thank god /j

[pulsar wren]

That’s the main difference, I guess

[digital abyss]

We made a joke group in our SP that is called "Evil Alters" (based off a joke of the stereotype) and it's just introjects who are villians or antiheros in source LMAO

[wind shell]

Yk whats interesting, when a introj is source connected and still like- likes whoever there main interest was and they’re like “I know im not them and I know its ficiton but it feels real, it feels like im their partner but they dont exissttyrfjfj” and its like damn. (I won’t out who it is cause im not mean)

just means we need to work on source separation

but yee

LMAO

@s off｜TOOTHVOiD — ?¿ ⋆ . ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) We made a joke group in our SP that is called "Evil Alters" (based off a joke of the stereotype) and…

[pulsar wren]

lol

[digital abyss]

ghelp?? do i even know who this is??

[wind shell]

Omg I met someone who had a alter named Evil it was jaring

Maybe? But the person doesnt talk to much but just a handful of times

[pulsar wren]

We have Sin if that counts

[digital abyss]

The worst part is its extensive too

[wind shell]

evil… the alter

Berwald Oxenstierna Sweden 🍪 ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) Omg I met someone who had a alter named Evil it was jaring

Those reactions are how we reacted

My name literally translates to Liar.

live laugh love you

And Nine is a fucking number

Hmm

We all have strange names I fear

[pulsar wren]

Sin’s a narc tbh

[wind shell]

HELP?

HLEP

You ok

[pulsar wren]

Like cop not narcissist, are y’all okay???

[wind shell]

I just thought it was crazy you said Sin was a narc 😭

like are you being serious or?

[pulsar wren]

I call him that a lot cause he is, him and Virtue are a bunch of snitches

[wind shell]

@s off｜TOOTHVOiD — ?¿ ⋆ . ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) The worst part is its extensive too

im sobbingp

theres so many

fuckass ben who know nothing about their source

im an introject of one of the most god awful manipulative villians and im scared of balloons.

im fucking scared of balloons and hamsters

im the living proof of introjects arent their source LMAOO

😭😭

[pulsar wren]

Justifiable, they’re terrifying

[wind shell]

REAL

Mhm

fuck balloons

hatem

Balloons are cool until the sounds

REAL

balloons chase me :(

😭im so sorry dear

LMAOO

[wind shell]

this is me btw

just a scary little guy or smthin

me and my two human boyfriends and wtvr the fuck i am

:D

[wind shell]

Do you guys tend to say “the body” or “our body” (or something else?)
Curious cause we personally used to say the body but switched to our cause it genuinely helped our derealisation

[pulsar wren]

Both

We use them kinda interchangeably depending on how annoyed/detached with it we are

[wind shell]

Fair enough haha

It depends on how much we relate to the body I think
Some of the parts who are more dissociated from the body use “the body” whereas those who are less dissociated from it use “our body”

I think generally some of us would probably still say the body, but in our subsys where we all split from someone who looks generally similar we use our
(By similar like no nonhuman features etc.)

Yeah this :3

Hermes || He/They 🪽🧮 ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) It depends on how much we relate to the body I think
Some of the parts who are more dissociated from…

Also for me it’s a case of it’s not my body so therefore there is no “our” in it because it feels like it doesn’t belong to me.

[pulsar wren]

I kinda hate the body personally atm so it’s ’the body’ for the moment

[wind shell]

Paha fair

I more hate the brain right now than the body

[pulsar wren]

The brain is harder to pinpoint for me, I can’t mentally process that it’s in my head so referring to it always seems weird

[wind shell]

That is literally me in psychology class rn

ArsonCrows [☀🪶] ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) The brain is harder to pinpoint for me, I can’t mentally process that it’s in my head so referring t…

Real
Only reason I know it’s the brain I need to be mad at is that this dissociation and fuzz between Nova and I is hell and I know the brain causes that

ArsonCrows [☀🪶] ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) The brain is harder to pinpoint for me, I can’t mentally process that it’s in my head so referring t…

[pulsar wren]

Is it common for humans to have a hard time figuring their brain is in their head? Is it cause the brain’s never seen itself?

[wind shell]

I’d assume it is comman

[pulsar wren]

Yea, makes sense

[wind shell]

Common

We only believe what we see I guess

[pulsar wren]

True, true

[midnight drift]

We use any depending on who's speaking and the context but most commonly our/Alex's body as it's not necessarily mine alone but I can identify with it/that's what I look like internally too

[maiden plover]

I usually say my body

I find "the body" or "our body" makes me feel like a foreigner and like you said, serves to aid dissocation where as saying my body ground me in the body I am in

But it depends on the part

Some parts I know are much more dissociated like some people above said so they tend to say the body or even "your body" sometimes

[wind shell]

We don't but then again we might just be a lil weird. We can visualise things scarily good

ArsonCrows [☀🪶] ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) Is it common for humans to have a hard time figuring their brain is in their head? Is it cause the b…

Visualisation skills do probably help, yea

[maiden plover]

What do you mean?

[wind shell]

We see our brain as a nebulous thing like how you refer to your soul

We use the body because none of us even look like it much but when we're talking directly to someone like saying how our body is always falling apart we'd say our-

Or wait I think I say our and other alters say the. Now that I'm thinking about it, it does cause a bit of dissociation when I say the so I stick to our but others say the

Nova/Noah - he/they ||BIRDS ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) Do you guys tend to say “the body” or “our body” (or something else?)
Curious cause we personally us…

[maiden plover]

I don't think it's difficult for humans to understand or picture that their brain is physically inside their head but I do think it's difficult to understand that their conscience and everything they perceive is dictated through the brain

like they are technically entirely their brain. I think it's difficult to understand because you don't perceive ourselves as wires from a body, most people, without thinking, I think generally view their conscience as something "more", like a soul of some sort even though there is proof that everything we think and understand is linked to parts of the brain

[wind shell]

Honestly- life is too short to confuse my brain about all that stuff. And he doesn't like me knowing he's a bunch of wires

I think Jax gets that stuff

From what I’ve heard from it

[maiden plover]

Yeah, it's a very philosophical question and can also trigger dissociation if you aren't careful because questions like ||Am I just a bunch of wires? Is my existence just a temporary arrangement of matter that means nothing and will mean nothing? Do I have a soul? Am I a soul watching myself from my body?|| You can see how those questions can lead to triggering dissociation pretty quick

[wind shell]

Yuh

[digital abyss]

for physical health, yes

depends whos fronting but for thr most part its my body

[wind shell]

We personally use both! It does depend on who is fronting, but when referring to physical stuff we mostly use "the body" and "our body". Though if someone were to get hurt while fronting, they would likely still say "Ow I stubbed my toe" for example, or "I have a headache". For us it really just depends on who is fronting!!

Nova/Noah - he/they ||BIRDS ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) Do you guys tend to say “the body” or “our body” (or something else?)
Curious cause we personally us…

[digital abyss]

Mostly for us is "our body is falling apart" or "we have hashimotos/ts/etc"

[wind shell]

(can you get the we have alters role if you’re gonna use pk?)

.ೃ࿐🍊┊Rin (She/Vocaloid) | ☾ The Lunar System ☆ ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) We personally use both! It does depend on who is fronting, but when referring to physical stuff we m… 📎

Oh, I thought our host already added the role, apologies if not! Lemme fix that

ryn {ask prns} [MOD] 🫧💫 ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) (can you get the we have alters role if you’re gonna use pk?) 📎

Should be fixed now!

[rain remnant]

I say this as a singlet lmao. It’s always “the body” because I feel very detached from it (partly from being neurodivergent and partly from struggling with DPDR, but that’s been getting a lot better over the years)

[pulsar wren]

Well, yea, you wouldn’t say ‘our’ so I’m not sure why the response was needed(?)

[rain remnant]

Rip to you this is exactly how I perceive myself and thus why I refer to it as “the body”. All of me is in my brain. The rest seems inconvenient sometimes

[rain remnant]

Fair enough. I didn’t mean to butt in. I’m sorry if I made you feel that way

[pulsar wren]

Feel what way?

That was an entirely neutral statement

[rain remnant]

My misinterpretation then

[wind shell]

i think your response is still relevant. just because it's my body or the body vs our body or the body, doesn't mean there's no point to respond to it. you have a disconnect to your body and relate to refering to it as "the". just because you're not a system doesn't mean you can't pop in and relate sometimes.

especially since you have dp/dr

i also apparently misinterpreted it the same way 😅

caspien gray | ping if desired ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) My misinterpretation then

[rain remnant]

I think I’m used to interpreting the worst in people, because when I thought they were being tonally neutral they often were upset with me and I didn’t notice. Also I’m very sensitive in general so I don’t want to make anyone feel like I’m speaking over them or out of turn or something

[digital abyss]

I read how you meant it if it makes things any better

[wind shell]

Na, mate, Arsy just couldn’t tell neutral if it hit him in the face, that’s on us

caspien gray | ping if desired ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) I think I’m used to interpreting the worst in people, because when I thought they were being tonally…

relatable

we have parts who are like that too

Yup

Ain’t my problem though, not my son, not my business. I’ve got enough on my plate without some of us acting a fool

Sorry by the way, Caspien

[maiden plover]

Your body is part of your brain

Your brain controls your body and your body lets your brain live

They are intertwined together

[maiden plover]

I think you should then ask for clarification. I am someone who is fairly neutral most of the time and as a result, am constantly misinterpreted over text, it gets frustrating after a while to try to dismantle arguments over something that you didn't say to begin with.

[rain remnant]

Oh no you’re fine I went to sleep after this

[hybrid skiff]

clarification and tone tags are a amazing, honestly we need tonetags or we will assume the worse, genuinely 😭

[digital abyss]

Clarification works better than tonetags for us. Too many people layer tonetags and makes the original statements confusing

[wind shell]

One tonetag, maybe two is fine. Any more and it just confuses the hell out of us.

[wind shell]

Is it normal to have varying degrees of amnesia? I still don’t know if what we struggle with is did or osdd but I just fronted after a few months and I can’t remember anything

But sometimes we don’t have amnesia or have emotional amnesia but we’ve never had full on blackouts

At least before today

[wind shell]

Yeah - different parts will have different levels of dissociation between them and thus amnesia barriers between them will present differently.
Eg. Part a and part b could have fluency between them with memories but part a and part c may not be able to share anything but feelings.

[wind shell]

Oh, interesting!

[hybrid skiff]

Yup! Me personally (blake) I don’t have too much amnesia barriers and can recall events that recently happened er sometimes depending on what it is but some of us have blackout tho

[maiden plover]

I can't tell my tone or what tone I am giving so I can't use tone tags sometimes

[hybrid skiff]

Fair enough makes sense yee

[heady hornet]

does anybody get like seven ppl fronting at once

[wind shell]

Yes. We have me plus 5 protectors at front and the back and forth switching from who does what while trying to feed ourselves and sick from last nights ||pnes|| is making stuff hard and causing more pain. Were trying to all calm down and balance out what we are all doing to make the teamwork happen but its just confusion all around at the moment

[tight flax]

Yes

[maiden plover]

For me not generally but it is something that can happen

[stable sapphire]

\ We used to get s bunch of people fronting a lot for some reason but now there's usually around 5 people in the front room but they don't usually all front unless something happens

[maiden plover]

I wish I could have a nice simply plural type app so bad but I'm never able to keep anything organised or proper

I wish everything was perfectly logged, preferctly organised and it was just easier. Amnesia and identity confusion makes that very difficult though, I don't know how people do it

[pulsar wren]

Mate, I don’t think anyone’s simply plural is perfectly logged and organised

[maiden plover]

I don't use it anymore because I get a lot of anxiety when it doesn't feel "right", I don't really know why. I guess I just wish I had better communication between parts

[pulsar wren]

Fair, a lot of systems have to actively work on that stuff, like, in therapy and the such

[maiden plover]

I know

But I guess it's human nature to just wish things were easier, or just done for you, you didn't have to worry about it or deal with it. It was all just fixed and perfect and easy

[pulsar wren]

Yep

[wind shell]

Ours kinda is- (we have a lot of free time sometimes)

ArsonCrows [☀🪶] ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) Mate, I don’t think anyone’s simply plural is perfectly logged and organised

It's actually good you stopped! It can be so damaging if you're constantly stressing over making it right but we got over the feeling and we're just going with the flow and if we feel like we may have added an alter that's not there anymore or never was we just remove them and think about how we tried our best and we don't have to obsessively look over it and force everything to feel right

Also for communication I can't really say much because after switching hosts our communication got way better kinda like I opened up a passage of communication from front to the headspace but healing helps a lot lol

(I know you weren't asking for advice this is just my reply and you can ignore it)

MattMatee (He/Xim) ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) I don't use it anymore because I get a lot of anxiety when it doesn't feel "right", I don't really k…

[pulsar wren]

We try our best with it and it got really good after we borrowed some temps from someone but ours is still messy

Especially since several alters don’t even have names

They’re just listed as ‘role/description’

[wind shell]

That's fair honestly. We just like to complete tasks fully or we can't sleep so we pushed ourself

[maiden plover]

Yes, my brain just obsessively longs for organisation that I can't provide so either way I lose out and feel itchy and bad, what can you do though lol

[wind shell]

Yup!

[wind shell]

Oh, I see!!

V!rus [He/They](ttgs please)[🥀] ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) Yup! Me personally (blake) I don’t have too much amnesia barriers and can recall events that recentl…

[wind shell]

I’ll share a bit of my experiences on top of that.

I haven’t fronted in awhile, been having trouble fronting and just stuck in HS really. When I fronted again I realized alot of my memory was gone or jumbled, prolly do to some shit that happened after my memory cuts off but like

yeah had to have my partner system update me on everythiinng that has happened

V!rus [He/They](ttgs please)[🥀] ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) Yup! Me personally (blake) I don’t have too much amnesia barriers and can recall events that recentl…

Ohh

[digital abyss]

Giggling </3

[wind shell]

Oh also when we switched hosts I barely remember anything before I was host but maybe thats cause I was created the moment the other host stepped down

Also hi I haven't seen you in ages

Liv +[She/Her] { 📜 } ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) Oh, I see!! 📎

[wind shell]

Oh, I see
And Hi! Yeah, I haven’t fronted in a while

💫 . Jazmine ╱ they⸝⸝ 𝅄 ꒰ 🩰 ꒱ ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) Oh also when we switched hosts I barely remember anything before I was host but maybe thats cause I … 📎

[coral flint]

Possibly the worst person for school keeps getting triggered to front every time we’re there :/
this has happened before too and I don’t remember how it stopped

[maiden plover]

Is there a trigger at school you know of that may have started popping more often now?

[coral flint]

Maybe??

He’s really bad with children + overstimulation and we keep being bothered by seventh graders

It unfortunately does not pair well with our friend that age regresses

[weak basin]

GG @hybrid skiff, you just advanced to level 19!

[wind shell]

Hey anyone got any advice for source seperating. I'm too connected with my source trying to figure out ways to seperate from it.

Cause its hard when I want to indulge in my source but I'm way to connected like "oh yeah thats me, my husband and thats my kids" and i know its fiction but my heart and brain are so hard on me cause i wrote these characters and constantly wrote/roleplayed as them for 3 years so. its hard

its unhealthy to think to like that so i catch myself when i think like that

i know its pseudo memories mixing with real life memories/trauma but its like rahh cause i had good moments and memories and then obviously the terrible ones too so. my source is conflicting to me.

anyways yeah sorry for the rant

however "my husband" was written by someone else, my ex,, aka the person contributed to the trauma n trauma from that era so its even moreee conflicted

but yeah any replies or advice would be appericated, im also gonna obviously bring this up in therpay ofc however i wanted to ask other systems aswell

[wind shell]

Coming from a nonintroject so take it w a grain if salt

perhaps associate that to real people? help revert that missing and love to someone real if that makes sense

[🚬] Ashley - She/Her [🥀] ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) Cause its hard when I want to indulge in my source but I'm way to connected like "oh yeah thats me, …

[wind shell]

Hm Okay, I'll try. It kinda makes sense yeah. Like replacing those memories kinda?

im not sure-- sure? non introject here 😭

Fair enough I understand lol

it helped nonetheless so thank you ^^

Hi!

word yw

[🚬] Ashley - She/Her [🥀] ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) it helped nonetheless so thank you ^^

Sup!

Nothing much! And you??

Just figurin stuff out but I'm chill yeah

howdy

Valid! I was just bored and popped in here to say Hi cuz bored

oh gotcha lol

bored too

mhm same

I understand that

[wind shell]

Also board while a big steam game of mine updates so no steam games till its done

I’m also bored

[green lava]

im not great with advice with this cuz we have a hard time with it too, but i think it does take time. just try and practice disconnecting and reminding yourself its not real and connecting it with real life kinda like what cayenne said

its okay to like your source, but i understand how difficult it is to be attached to it. i dont have great advice again due to having the issue myself with a few of us but i understand what ur experiencing /gen

[wind shell]

Yeah we have a midrang cpu low rang gpu gaming pc that we are upgrading parts for one day and my lord the update for a game is 73 gb so we sit here and wait to play steam lol

[green lava]

i just realized ur @ is warriorclan system and um warrior cats mention ? 👁️ (unless thats not what it means,,im just autistic,,,i love,,,warrior cats,,,)

[wind shell]

Why yes we love those books and mangas

[green lava]

oops

yyYyeyeyzyES

i got to excited and caps

i love

warrior cats

to a non-normal amount

i love it so MUCH

[wind shell]

We have some first serise books and some of the mangas and used to have the app for all the books the authers wrote

[green lava]

thats so epic

i have up to the 5th series in books

and a few of the special editions

and some comics

i love the new comic book adaption they came out with sm!!!

im waiting to get the second book but i have the first book so far of the comic adaptation of the first series

i just ordered the 6th series book series so im super hyped to read them :3

[wind shell]

Wait they made new mangas since when

[green lava]

yes!!

they are comic adaptions of the first series

so far there are 2 books out

look up “into the wild warrior cats comic”

the art style is so perfect!!

i love them sm

[wind shell]

First series is our host favorite hince why we are still trying to collect them all but mainly because we want the first seris older looks since thats what they started with so I looks better then the end onse due to the type of covers. I can also never get put of our head the youtube video ssworriorcats theam song bluestar long tail and lion heart and graystripe look so so so good even for old editing looks

[hybrid skiff]

lol can yall talk about this not in the did chat pfft

XD

[green lava]

sorry we werent gonna go on too much 😭

my autism is insane

[hybrid skiff]

haha nws ur good pookie

[pulsar wren]

We’ve been making jokes on tumblr about our memory issues because we keep forgetting symbol requests and I just realise that might start something

If within the next week we get an ask about the jokes and what condition we’re referencing then will update y’all cause I find that concept hilarious

[wind shell]

gettin' worried about our memory loss. we dont want to lose our license bc some of us dont remember how to drive

Struggling with forgetting so much its upsetting people. We don't mean to hurt people with our memory loss. Idk what to really do

[pulsar wren]

Our memory loss manifests in most prominently in either forgetting things exist or forgetting basic tasks

We keep forgetting how to dress, like, how to put on clothing, that’s a big one tbh. We end up wearing the same thing for days on end because of that

[wind shell]

We forget how to shower, brush our teeth, we forget how to do house hold stuff, We forget who we are and where we are, we are scared to forget who we love. Lately people have been yelling at us for being ourselves and yelling triggers us and memory loss happens when we switch so that hasn't helped either, heck we have even been forgetting how to do stuff on our own yet our host identity is home alone for 6 months while their husband works away from home and me and others are trying so hard to help but everyone of us in the system get bad memory loss and it's scarry when your alone 😔

[pulsar wren]

We forget a lot of people

Forgot our father a couple times but he’s a piece of shit so we don’t care

He shows up and we’re like “who are you and why are you here?”

Actually, “who are you?” Is a phrase I use a lot cause we’re apparently friends with people ( even though we don’t have the capacity for friendship and don’t process relationships in a way that would allow for it ) but I have no idea who any of those people are

[wind shell]

We accidentally slipped a bit ago from a entry we read in our journal that their are 13 of us and someone just said in a mocking way what so we hung up the vc

[pulsar wren]

We’re in a server with a YouTuber who makes fake disorder cringe videos — it’s a workout/fitness/chill discussion server. They’ve never sent a single message, they’re just lurking

( not really fdc but those clickbait “faker exposed!” type videos )

( or, like, videos judging people’s system headcannons for no reason )

[wind shell]

That sounds bad why judge people's systems

[pulsar wren]

Yep

I’m kinda glad they’ve never messaged there honestly

[midnight drift]

Why would you want to be part of that community?/gq

[pulsar wren]

As I said, the person has never sent a single message in that server and that community in general is very much disability friendly ( I’m not the only system or autistic person or person with Tourette’s there )

It’s not exactly a community for making fun of disabled people ( a good portion of it is people sharing work out goals and progress ( I mostly am in it for physical therapy motivation and advice ) )

[midnight drift]

I'm not certain I fully understand but I'm not judging you. I think I made a mistake in asking the question because right now I don't feel able to fully take in your reply but I really appreciate you calmly explaining to me. /g

[pulsar wren]

It’s alright, I’m not really bothered

[coral flint]

I’ve only just realised this and it’s probably just the wording that feels new to me, but our subsystem (the one I’m a part of) is like perfectly built to function externally.
Like, someone could be too unstable to do something so someone else takes over, and on the outside we’ve gone from crying to doing things, but on the inside that person is still unstable
I think that I’ve just found a way to word it that really clicks in my head, but idk I just thought it was a cool way to explain it lol

(Let me know if you don’t really understand what I’m saying cause I’m not the most coherent rn)

[maiden plover]

I know it's scary but if you're struggling with driving due to memory loss, until you can lower symptoms, you should try and avoid driving as much as possible. Not only is it dangerous for you but also other drivers on the road.

If you need to drive for certian things, try and keep it to a minimum

[wind shell]

Not possible. I need that independance.

MattMatee (He/Xim) ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) I know it's scary but if you're struggling with driving due to memory loss, until you can lower symp…

[wind shell]

If it gets to the point where you become a danger to other road users then you may have to stop. It’s not a case of “I need the independence” it’s a case of whatever is safest for the general population. /lh

[green lava]

i unfortunately cant get my license due to dissociative seizures, and severe dissociation 😭 </3 i dissociate so much that i wouldnt be aware of what im supposed to be looking out for on the road, or be able to multitask and keep my focus on things i SHOULD be focusing on to avoid a crash. even without the seizures, my lack of attention to things while driving would be dangerous not just for me but for others, and the last thing i wanna do is get someone killed 😭

im hoping, someday, this will get better and i’ll be able to. but tbh its hard to picture a future where i dont dissociate as much where ive never really experienced that before pfft /nav

[wind shell]

theres like 0 public transport for where i wanna go

driving is a necessity for america

[wind shell]

America sucks sometimes, im sorry /gen

Nine　𝄈　they / he — ?¿ ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) driving is a necessity for america

Agreed like come on our host identity can't drive ao we are in the same boat once we move. No busses

[green lava]

i get that its rough
i rely on public transport here but its not always the best, but at least i have access to it which i am grateful. it gives me a sense of independence i wouldn’t have without it

and the busses here and generally safe. the bus drivers dont tolerate shitty people and so far since ive been using it, which has been a while now, ive never encountered anything super bad happening or had my safety risked.

the only downsides is sometimes the local crackheads are at bus stops and act weird, or someone gets on the bus and they STINK. 😭😭😭 weve had some extremely smelly people on the public busses 💀 but it thankfully doesnt happen everytime, and again, nothing crazy has ever happened

the busses arent always super reliable as the system kinda sucks but its better than nothing and works well enough for me to have my independence without being able to drive. although, driving would offer MUCH more independence, im unable to as it stands rn

[wind shell]

Busses here aint safe either

buncha creeps hittin on us if wr dont have our dog

[wind shell]

Not the safest here but at times we have no choice when our host identity husband who can drive is on his 6 month away from home job

[wind shell]

Is it normal for one alter to feel similar things to another?

Like Liv and I feel similar anxieties about her family

[maiden plover]

Yes it's normal, you're technically the same person that is in multiple parts so experiencing things similarly is common

Many people have parts that are very similar to each other

[wind shell]

Yes you all share the same body so will feel things to verying degrees with maybe some feeling nothing from the issues or issue

Amber +[She/They] { 📜 } ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) Is it normal for one alter to feel similar things to another?

[wind shell]

mhm !!

Amber +[She/They] { 📜 } ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) Is it normal for one alter to feel similar things to another?

Ok, thank you!!

[wind shell]

Don't you just hate when you're just living your life then you get asked why you weren't at a class a few days ago. And once you think about it you realize that, on the day it was, you don't remember that day at all. Not one bit. You knew about the class bc it's reacurring but weren't aware you missed it and don't even remember what was happening at that time period. 🤦/lh

[wind shell]

We had something similar happen, except it was with therapy. We had a therapy appointment, and apparently, whoever was fronting decided to just, not go because they didn't want to?? We got an e-mail the next day asking why we missed our appointment without sending any notice of cancellation. I didn't know how to respond because I wasn't the one fronting at the time (our therapist wasn't aware of our system back then)

Levi {He/they}⚡🪐 ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) Don't you just hate when you're just living your life then you get asked why you weren't at a class …

[wind shell]

Is it normal that for a person with DID/OSDD to like have a brain with like alters talking and then like none are talking and all you can hear is their tone and is it normal for no alters to front like I've been fronting for a while now bit longer then usual I don't really know how to explain it tbh

Yeah, I think so! We get that sometimes
We also don’t really hear them talk, just sometimes when we fall asleep

we also get that way, yea

( what happened to literally everyone’s pfps btw??? )

[limpid siren]

Pk is down right now 💢

(for avatars)

[pulsar wren]

:(

My avatar’s so cool though

[wind shell]

Oof

[hollow orchid]

Mine was clouds

[pulsar wren]

I drew mine

[hollow orchid]

:D

[digital abyss]

pk ^

[wind shell]

Dang-

[wind shell]

Ps pk profiles are up for some not all but some we know including us got ours up for some alters. Just updating what we noticed yw

[maiden plover]

Yes. Lots of people don't even have it where they can talk to other parts in their head at all or very rarely. Parts disorders fluctuate a lot and depending on triggers and healing which you may not even realise are there, things like communication and front patterns can drastically change suddenly.

[rose oxide]

yeah, we used to have very good internal communication when we were younger, but then it all suddenly went away after we switched hosts

[wind shell]

Opposite for us

★ tweek [hypernova] ★ ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) yeah, we used to have very good internal communication when we were younger, but then it all suddenl…

[green lava]

wait, do you have it happen where sometimes when you’re falling asleep you suddenly more clearly here snippets of random conversations ? it happens pretty clearly everytime we are falling asleep, but idk if thats like, a system thing, or if its something else or if its normal 😭 hence why i never rlly mentioned it or asked anyone. i assumed its maybe a normal thing ur brain does when falling asleep. i also cant ever tell who it is if it were alters

[green lava]

yeah, this happens a lot with us
it changes drastically depending on the situation which may seem obvious given the nature of the disorder but i wanted to share my own personal side

recently, like the past few months, its been really blurry for us due to some extremely stressful events, and then some more traumatic events. our communication was getting better, but since then, its been extremely quiet and difficult and the system basically tried to go covert again i think. my whole sys just locks up. ive barely know who i am for weeks. when an alter for sure fronts and knows its them, theres still this massive fog/blurriness and dpdr that just hangs over them like a cloud. it makes things very fuzzy because its hard to tell if there are new alters around, or its just dpdr, or its both, or WHAT is going on. i really struggle with it. i HATE not knowing who i am. ive been feeling like a shell of a human with no personality or anything and feeling super numb and entirely detached from the world and my identity is sludge

[hollow orchid]

Yeah! Sometimes its faded-

[stable sapphire]

Yes! Dissociative barriers go down the closer you are to sleep making communication more clear

[maiden plover]

Can I see the source for that claim? I've never heard it before and I'm interested in looking further into it!

[stable sapphire]

I don't remember where I read it but I've read it in multiple articles and have experienced it and have heard of other systems close to us and in server experiencing that also please don't ping us and we'll see if we can find it again.

[maiden plover]

Sorry, I forgot to check if you didn't want to be pinged

[stable sapphire]

This is what I was talking about but I don't have time to find the exact article right now but I'm pretty sure it was from one of the resources I was giving in a server while questioning if we were a system

There was also a conversation about it on reddit in r/OSDD where other systems share experiences

And personally our psychologist agreed this is a thing but yea

[wind shell]

hey, im feeling really down. I know no one in this life, im an alter that fronts rarely and i dont even know what i can do, all ive been doing is scroll on social media and listen to music
Do you have any advice ?

[green lava]

oh shit!! this is really interesting! that makes so much sense then now because that happens SO MUCH for us. its always random snippets of convos and im like ??? what

def gonna research this more its super interesting!

[green lava]

try to find something that interests you! look at different hobbies and such and see if anything seems fun or interesting, and try and pick it up ! it can help a lot with defining yourself and understanding more of who you are

it might make you feel more grounded

[green lava]

this is sooo interesting thank you!! im glad im not the only one or just stupid HAH

[hollow orchid]

Funny story, I once heard a snippet and it was like “I want cheese”, “no you don’t”

[green lava]

LMFAO

[weak basin]

GG @green lava, you just advanced to level 7!

[green lava]

that is funny

ive heard some strange things lmaoo

stuff sounds crazy when i have absolutely zero context

[hollow orchid]

Yeah haha

[stable sapphire]

That's so real. The one thing I can think of is hearing "You smell like burritos."

[hollow orchid]

Reall

[wind shell]

I often hear "you eat socks."

[midnight drift]

For us conversions typically happen between/at whoever is near front but that means it's often Kai (main boss of the front) showing up and commenting on whatever you're doing ect

Side note he's not a morning person and we don't have a house internally (I think) but he regularly shows up in PJs in the morning???

Where he gets them from I do not know and he refuses to explain

You'll just get
"What the fuck are you eating?"
And you turn around and just;

[pulsar wren]

Ohh, Alex, nice! ( the artist not you Alex )

[weak basin]

GG @pulsar wren, you just advanced to level 30!

[pulsar wren]

( thanks, mimu )

Alex’s art is so cool

He’s one of my favourite artists tbh

[pulsar wren]

I think he can just do that

How do outfits work in ya’ll’s innerworlds actually? Cause ours depends

[midnight drift]

Yes he's one of my favourites!!

[midnight drift]

Honestly ours done change much. A lot of the time we can't see eachother clearly enough to have an exact outfit but we get vibes

Generally speaking we don't change appearance unless there's a reason

Kai & his PJs is the exception

Boss perks ig?

[pulsar wren]

For us; the angels and Wren change their appearances but everyone else doesn’t

They all have reasons

[midnight drift]

We have Vixen (dormant) who is kind of like a Kitsune? Not quite?

They can shift between a human and animal form but as far as we're aware those two forms are fixed and can't be changed

[pulsar wren]

For us, the angels are introjected from a type of angel that can canonically shapeshift so they can but they usually stick to a few set appearances. Wren’s appearance changes a bit with whatever they’re mimicking

Idk, that’s how our brain process them

[wind shell]

We normally hear ladonia going dad Sealand too my stuff as Ladonia is talking to Finland. Sweden then finds Sealand and we hear put my down as he brings him to appoligize to his brother. We will also hear Norway saying who put a fish in my bed sometimes

[wind shell]

Hi -Multiple people in front

Same including me we have 7 but i choose to text so no one we talk to gets confused but ithers love to hijack the phone to say hi. I had our hosts best friend get text by 3 diffrent alters yesterday till I got it under controle. How many do you have at front if you know 🤔

Honestly pretty valid! I think we have 5 in front? Everyone and no one wants to type haha

[wind shell]

I had to tell my husband nicely no I'm the typer and he pouted so I pat his head and he felt embarrassed

Hello, also multiple people in front, how many? Idk

there’s at least 3 of us

*4

Right

[wind shell]

Anyone get blurry for no reason because it’s late at night?

Yes

Very

Me too, it’s super late right now and we were sure it was Ozzy fronting but now it’s just bleh

Is like soup

[wind shell]

Yes we get blurry and more disossiated every night when we're to tired idk why

[green lava]

we get blurry when we are fatigued and tired. i think its because we have a few fatigue holders that always tend to front when we feel that way

also, does anyone else have a hard time with emotions? 😭

i mean in the sense that like, we have so many alters that hold onto a specific feeling or emotion, so if our mood changes for any reason, then we switch. its very rare to see an alter that say, holds onto happy feelings of any sort, feel sad or down in any way, and vice versa. if we start to feel that way, we switch. its like my brain thinks an alter cant handle two strong emotions so it just. has emotions all divided into other alters. its very disorienting because i cant just feel any strong emotions other than joy without someone else taking front. i guess this mostly goes for negative emotions because alters can feel happy or positive and not switch out to an alter who is always happy or positive, but anytime theres any feeling like fatigue, sadness, anger, etc. it always causes a switch of some sort. ive realized this and im wondering if anyone else experiences this

fatigue isnt really an emotion but fatigue causes meh emotions for us and makes it hard for us to feel a strong sense of joy so it does the same

and i guess the happy and positive feelings CAN do the same and they do. if we feel really happy for whatever reason, chances are a positivity holder will front so ig it does happen

its like
a lot of our alters only really hold onto one or two emotions. they can fluctuate and experience multiple emotions obviously as any person does but not in an extreme sense or else we switch.

high emotion is like an immediate front trigger

this is probably normal idk im just curious ig to hear from others 💀

[wind shell]

Ps when we say holder we are not saying one alter holds that condition it is just a way that stuck with our brain as helping us remember who has stronger symptoms of what condition to clear up confusion to anyone who reads this in the future yw. Well we don't have emotion holders in the way you say but kinda like that we do have alters that hold onto certain mental issues. As looking at simply plural Sweden is the Autism holder, Iceland is the holder of independance, Norway is holder of introvertedness, Denmark is the holder of adhd and Finland is the holder of anxiety. In our system this means that these conditions and our host feeling of independence come with stronger symptoms and then the others depending on which of these alters is fronting and Norway controls the introvertedness because he is the most introverted next to his little brother Iceland so when he fronts the introverted nature is higher and the feelings of loving to stay inside and be alone and being more causse of others is stronger and if many of us are fronting with him we all crave tea more due to lots of introverts really love tea especially Norge

» SOLAR !! — ☀ ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) we get blurry when we are fatigued and tired. i think its because we have a few fatigue holders that…

[maiden plover]

How does a part hold autism or adhd?

Also what's the difference between a part, for example, just being introverted vs being an introvert holder?

[green lava]

i think they mean that some parts hold more traits of adhd or autism, bc obviously adhd and autism or any disorders ur brain has effects every alter, but some will hold onto more traits

also im not sure on the introvert thing
i know for us we have social alters and antisocial alters but thats the label we have for them. social alters are a role for us because they front in more social settings to keep up better

antisocial alters is less of a role and moreso a description of them

like we have alters front to be social for social settings, but i dont think we have the antisocial alters front in non social settings. they just…are antisocial i suppose lol

[maiden plover]

but then what's the difference between than and a part just having a different presentation of autims for example? Like how would that be differentiated. I always understood holder parts to function as holding memories relating to certain things or manage certain aspects of a person

[maiden plover]

Similar, I have a part that is a protector part, he often takes control when I am angry too, though I have a different label then anger holder for him because he plays more roles than just holding anger though it may seem that that's the case at first.

[wind shell]

Exactly but we just call it what we did because we always have 😊

» SOLAR !! — ☀ ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) i think they mean that some parts hold more traits of adhd or autism, bc obviously adhd and autism o…

[green lava]

i think it differs for everyone, but autism holder isnt really a full role for us, again its more of a discription. we have alters who exist to MASK autism and adhd symptoms, but we have alters who dont mask and experience more higher levels

[wind shell]

Yeah we didn't feel like other names fit but when you ask us all for context we explain how we show more symptoms then other and stronger ones then others in the system, Not like we wanted to put all that in the wording so that was the best we all could come up with ya just have to ask for context

» SOLAR !! — ☀ ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) i think it differs for everyone, but autism holder isnt really a full role for us, again its more of…

[green lava]

basically anyone in our sys that has “autism or adhd holder” is an alter/part who doesnt mask (as much or as often) and expresses a lot more traits or struggles with them more. alters who dont have that role tend to mask more, or experience it on lower levels. and our specific “masking” alters tend to 100% mask everything they can (system, adhd/autism, etc)

[wind shell]

Our therapist likes the unique way of calling it and that we say let us explain when people get confused

» SOLAR !! — ☀ ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) basically anyone in our sys that has “autism or adhd holder” is an alter/part who doesnt mask (as mu…

[green lava]

we also have a few bpd holders
many of us in the system are in remission with bpd
some of our alters are not due to lack of healing

we are making some progress though

its hard when those alters dont communicate much but we are trying lol

[wind shell]

Yeah we get that. Not many understand when ya call it holder but its a shorter term for stronger symptoms but not wanting to put all that in the name if ya give it one. No one in our system has stronger symptoms of schitzoefective disorder bipolar type we all seem to have a balance of symptoms no one seems to have them worse then the other which is interesting

» SOLAR !! — ☀ ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) we also have a few bpd holders
many of us in the system are in remission with bpd
some of our alters…

[green lava]

yeah that makes sense

its different for everyone

everyones system functions how the brain thinks is good enough for that specific person

[wind shell]

True true. I mean communication can be difficult. Also I kinda feel like putting the condition and saying holder by it is just a good way we have parts of our simply plural set up because it seems to really help us remember who has the stronger symptopms of some conditions and we didn't like putting this alter has stronger emotions with xyz because its to long and wordy

» SOLAR !! — ☀ ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) its hard when those alters dont communicate much but we are trying lol

Owe yeah holder is just at the end for part of our simply plural description's because it seems to help us all remember who has stronger sysmptoms of said conditions but we do also have other roles so for us its not used as a owe we only do one thing just as a owe hey this randomly helps us remember something so lets use it for our own needs. If a label like this helps then we will use it but we all have other roles like protectors, gatekeeper, host, co-host, carer and protector excreta. Just our quirky way of typing things in simply plural that helped us remember something and that is a win win in our book. Plus when we say holder its because in our alter profiles on symply plural we have a section under each alter that has a holder role to say holder of and then what they are a holder of but the discription of that role describes what they feel stronger related to that role then we also have a section that says role and their role and explains the role or roles to

MattMatee (He/Xim) ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) Similar, I have a part that is a protector part, he often takes control when I am angry too, though …

[pulsar wren]

We have — in terms of disorder/symptom holders — 2 anxiety holders, an autism holder, and a ptsd holder ( different from trauma holder cause they hold the symptoms not the trauma )

[wind shell]

Ah I see. Life would be simpler if everything only had one meaning instead of many things having more then one definition or meaning between people but hey that's what makes it unique

[maiden plover]

Yes, for me, parts I consider symptoms holder are parts that are triggered to front by symptoms and often deal with them, but they may not necissarily display increase symptoms, sometimes they even display decrease symptoms

[wind shell]

that makes sense

[pulsar wren]

That makes sense

[wind shell]

example this is part of icelands simply plural profial. When we say when host feels overly independent on his holder section its because feeling overly independent has gotten them into trouble snd causes lots of anxiety and stress so he comes out to help them manage those feelings

if this makes any sence to anyone

[pulsar wren]

Sorta(?)

[wind shell]

What confuses you we can help out

i was gonna say something but i’m too tired and dissociated to form a coherent sentence- /lh

Its ok

Is the person who just text you we were talking to or someone different. We don't want to bother you if your very tired and dissociated

ArsonCrows [🌑🪶] ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) Sorta(?)

[pulsar wren]

Was replying to this

[pulsar wren]

The sp only sorta makes sense

Cause i can’t figure what the format is

[wind shell]

Just making sure is all

Hmm what ya mean by the format

ArsonCrows [🌑🪶] ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) Cause i can’t figure what the format is

i need to do sp maintenance-

thank you for the accidental reminder- /gen

[pulsar wren]

Like; “role protector: protector of the system” I’m not sure if it’s ‘role; protector ( protector of the system )’, as in the role is protector and we’re just elaborating on that, or what

[wind shell]

Yw also god our sp is super detailed because all of us adults in the system took many days to get it right, taking to each other and the littles and setting up profiles and finding the very best photos for us all and then learning how the app works and then we spent a very time each of us while helping younger alters make profiles and stuff and getting all of pk figured out with a friend and my god was it hard but we took the time to do so. So yes its detailed and also been evolving over time including system profial to

[pulsar wren]

Makes sense

[wind shell]

Yes we do elaborate under each section with what ever we think goes with the words above because sp gives a blank so we don't always know what to put. Like the outfit part of that picture we sent ya saw. Iceland had no idea what to say about how he looks so he just put those akward words lol. We don't really know what to put in all the sp blanks after we make the sections on the profiles honestly like for example all protectors have protector of the system in the role box

ArsonCrows [🌑🪶] ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) Like; “role protector: protector of the system” I’m not sure if it’s ‘role; protector ( protector of…

Anyways goodnight

[pulsar wren]

Goodnight

[wind shell]

sage fronts a decent amount and this is all we have on them-

that’s kinda funny, i’m tempted to just not add anything. 😭

most others have at least a couple sentences and another section filled out for reference.

not a lot more but noticeably more.

[unique jolt]

We need to do some sp management as well. Only have 60-ish of the many many more half done

[pulsar wren]

Same

We have about 7 alters marked as ‘pending information’ and multiple of them are not

[wind shell]

How do you guys actually do sp management?
Everytime I try it just induces a faking spiral

[pulsar wren]

Alters for us don’t actually need any more information than faceclaim, name, flower name, and pronouns for us to consider our sp managed

This is all the info that needs to be there, no more, no less, it takes a minute to input depending on the alter

[wind shell]

Yeah

[pulsar wren]

So, how we avoid faking spirals is we minimise the amount of time we spend managing the sp

[stable sapphire]

We only have groups to do for our sp but everything else is 100% done then there's the new alters that need info added that we've given up on cause sp stresses us out-

Also wtf??? 😭😭😭

[wind shell]

I literally have a part on sp/octo that was just like “I can’t be bothered to find a name so my profile name will just be ‘Well shit’ for now” and they haven’t fronted since

[pulsar wren]

Mood. This guy’s been here for weeks and all we have is this

( zyx is just so it shows up at the bottom of the sp list )

[wind shell]

Yeah

[pulsar wren]

I don’t know who he is or what he does but I know I don’t like him

[pulsar wren]

( I refer to him as him because he/they are our collective pronouns so everyone is a ‘him’, idk his pronouns )

[wind shell]

Yeah

Fair enough

[pulsar wren]

I don’t think ours has ever fronted once in his life

[wind shell]

I just went through our current frequent fronters and made sure they were all in the folders they should be in

[stable sapphire]

Our frequent fronters change literally every week

[pulsar wren]

Yep. Never fronted.

[stable sapphire]

Same

[wind shell]

Just existed

We had an all-time low of 17 fronters last month, which ain’t bad

Correction: joint all-time low

[pulsar wren]

I don’t think our frequent fronters have changed in a while

[wind shell]

Lucky

(In a sense)

I didn’t even exist in April and I’m the current host lol

[pulsar wren]

Fair. Though we count SC & CC frequent fronters separately so maybe if we counted them together it would be more variable?

Idk

[wind shell]

You count your frequent fronters however tf you want

[pulsar wren]

True

[maiden plover]

I mean the amount of parts that front isn't necissarily a good or bad indicator, it's usually neutral unless other issues occur

[pulsar wren]

Fair enough

For us, more fronts ( especially if they’re SC & CC co ) is usually an indicator of something negative

[wind shell]

For me, it’s more a thing of wanting to have less fronters with better communication so we can start integrating a little bit

[maiden plover]

What is a CC and & SC?

[maiden plover]

intergration and communication usually come with healing, so if you're processing trauma and healing, overtime you'll likely see change

[wind shell]

Yeah, we’re in therapy and processing trauma so it’s not unfeasable for us to get to that point. But I know it’s gonna be a long road. And I also know it’s not gonna be a straight one either.

[pulsar wren]

CC ( crows collective ) & SC ( saint corvid ), they’re just designations used to separate the main and sidesystem in conversation, kind of like how subsystems have names and you’re talking about a subsystem you’d mention it by name

[pulsar wren]

That’s nice

[wind shell]

I reckon it’s gonna take a while to heal because I’m going through trauma therapy that is not specific to DID currently

However as soon as I’m 18 and have the finances I’m gonna be trying to find a specific therapist. I will be kicked out of the current therapy I’m in (CAMHs) anyway so I’ll need to find a new therapist because my therapist said that the AMHs wouldn’t accept me because I’m not “bad enough” for them.

[pulsar wren]

???

I wasn’t aware there was a threshold

[wind shell]

I don’t know honestly. It’s just what I was told.

welcome to britain. /sil /lh

ArsonCrows [🌑🪶] ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) I wasn’t aware there was a threshold

I either get to be referred to the psychosis team (which is not what I’m experiencing afaik). Or I get referred to an online service I’ve been with before that I hated. Or they drop me to fend for myself (yet again) and I have to find money for a private therapist

the mental health services in the uk are overloaded and therefore unavailable for a lot of people.

Yeah

Which is understandable but it’s still ahhhhh

we can’t get any help from the NHS because we aren’t “bad enough”. not a diagnosis, not even a consultation. /nav /lh

Yeah

It feels like as long as you’re not actively right on the edge, you’re not “bad enough”

yep.

i understand why it’s like this. but i hate it so much.

Yeah

we’re in private therapy and are probably going to have to go private for diagnoses.

Also the fact that PIP doesn’t really account for mental disorders, means that you have to find the money for private therapy which can be expensive

Unless you also happen to be physically disabled

And therefore eligible for PIP

but we can leech off our parents for money, which is a luxury, and it’s also a luxury that they are open to paying for our therapy etc.

Yeah

“free healthcare” sounds good until it’s underfunded and understaffed and has extremely long waitlists and all the other problems.

anyways. don’t know what you were talking about, i just wanted to rant a little about the NHS. /lh

Haha

[pulsar wren]

SP management, I think

[wind shell]

If I get the apprenticeship I want when I leave home, and need (private) therapy 2 times a month, I’ll be left with around £60 a month after all the essential bills etc.
So that’s not feasible for me. Fuckkk

Yepp

ArsonCrows [🌑🪶] ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) SP management, I think

one of the children, who has maybe fronted once and nobody knows anything about, has more information than alters who have fronted countless times. on our sp.

[pulsar wren]

Yea, that happens

[wind shell]

i love noticing handwriting differences

written multiple days apart, no idea who wrote the first word and i don’t really know who i am except having a wild guess, but it’s so interesting.

[wind shell]

Welp guess were leaving the discord group we just joined that is for systems someone is triggered by the source we came from yet we did nothing wrong and even put that source on the ban list. Now were feeling feelings of reject, upsetness and being excluded 😔 not again. Why have systems in your group if people can't be who they are. Its not like we were trying to trigger anyone. We just wanted to say hi

Yeah we left that group. Having on the ban list felt like we weren't aloud there at all

[maiden plover]

You can't ban a source, I'm sorry but that is bullshit and makes no sense

[wind shell]

Exactly just because the source cause you problems doesn't mean the alter or alters did. Its not like you exclude alters like that because we can't choose our sources and we are not harmful or mean as we told them

MattMatee (He/Xim) ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) You can't ban a source, I'm sorry but that is bullshit and makes no sense

[pulsar wren]

Every single sys-focused server or even servers that allow systems and also ban supporting certain media ( usually the usual culprits; Harry Potter, the such ) have an exception built in for introjects

The fact that server didn’t ( explicitly a ‘introjects don’t count under the ban of this media’ ) confuses me

[wind shell]

Yeah it makes no sense all we were told is people who really likes that media hurt them. Not that people hurt them with the media or that we every did either but we were still confused why if our source was banned then just say in the group rules so we know we are not welcome since even our name when we said hi triggered them. I mean yeah sorry we triggered them but we had no idea and left since we couldn't talk about anything in our system with other systems because they would see and always get triggered so we left to avoid the trouble

ArsonCrows [🌑🪶] ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) Every single sys-focused server or even servers that allow systems and also ban supporting certain m…

Ok i just saw the text they sent us because we talked about it with a friend and it says they had people who hurt them that were freaks about the media that caused a mental health issue. What we don't get is why were we aloud in if we said in our intro where our fictives came from in case someone had a problem

[pulsar wren]

We have that with one server except the mods are actually decent about it. The owner and all the staff are literally anti-theist ( from what I know ) and ban mentions of religion and religious imagery from their server but we’re a system with a lot of religious introjects so we were like “hey, can we be here” and they were like “I don’t see why not? You don’t control that”

Because it’s simple as that. They shouldn’t have gone as far as to actively ban your source after you joined instead of being more civil about it and trying to find some middle ground with it

[wind shell]

Man we were told as soon as we get access to general by the owner hey we read your profial and you have stuff we have issues with so you can't mention anything about it. Pretty much means because of our names we can't even type. It was weird that they said they read our profial literly seconds after we write our intro. All it says is stuff like we love Hetalia and that is what pissed them off

The whole hey we read your profile without giving us a chance should of been a red flag but sometimes we are oblivious to red flags

Yeah just looked again because we haven't in a while and the end of our description just says love family/Hetalia that's it/ Anyways not a big deal anymore feeling is gone

[wind shell]

Fuck timeloss amnesia. I hate it so much. What do you mean it’s been six years since 2019? It’s only been like three max I swear

I probably used the wrong term for that specific example but still. First sentence applies

[green lava]

this is something that happens with us too with some of our parts

[wind shell]

When we heard Astrid tell us what year she thought it was we were mind blown. She thought it was 2010. I feel bad because we noticed her timeloss amnesia can be pretty bad to. I told her it was 2025 and its been like her world is upside down. I sometimes as of recently wonder if that is one of the reasosn she went dormant because the feelings of so many years lost is to much for her to know how to handle right now

Nova || It/They 🪽🧮 ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) Fuck timeloss amnesia. I hate it so much. What do you mean it’s been six years since 2019? It’s only…

[hybrid skiff]

yeah sMe

[digital abyss]

Are we the only ones here who want integration? We have not met anyone else who wants integration as their final healing.

[tight flax]

We want intergration, at least most of us do

[midnight drift]

Currently undecided but we're not entirely against it

[green lava]

we want integration for sure
idk if we will ever fully fuse into one unfortunately but i definitely want integration and to work on downsizing the amount of alters and also bettering communication

[digital abyss]

Glad I’m not alone. We’re tired of the blackout amnesia.

[hybrid skiff]

eventually yeah, some of us do and some of us not yet

[hybrid skiff]

we need way more time aand healing for that to be a consideration yet however my therapist is helping with that

its hard when theres folk being "but im not myself, thats not me" identity crisis

i think the thought of "no longer being theirself" is scary to them but ik it will get better

[coral flint]

We don’t really care either way atm, we’re lucky to not really have bad amnesia so we haven’t thought too hard abt it

[hybrid skiff]

personally im totally chill with it but i think im a bit biased as the host and that i look like the body

[coral flint]

Fair

[limpid siren]

I think I aim for full fusion but also I would be okay with getting down to like 4-6 base people

First goal is managing triggers though, one step at a time lol

[coral flint]

Actually idk if we could function with full fusion, when we’re alone I’m always talking out loud to someone

[hybrid skiff]

one time my therapist brought this up and we havent thought baoutit before and we freaked out so hard we fucking split 😭 needless to say we are fine though LMAO it was just so sudden

it'll be strange 100%

i've known they've exisited since middle school (then we went back to denial until college)

it'd be

strange

the silence unnerves me actually

but alas

another therapy session lol

but as embers say, i hope we can atleast get down to a few atleast

[tight flax]

Yea, I agree with embers too, it is scary to think though about it in my opinion, idk I think it just unnerves me, yknow?

[pulsar wren]

I don’t think we’re capable of final fusion

Just, straight up

[wind shell]

We won't do it. That is just not right for us and very scary

[stable sapphire]

We haven't entirely decided but I think we're mostly leaning towards functional multiplicity but it's biased because we still actively have to deal with continuous trauma so we don't like thinking about having to deal with that another way but for now we don't aim for fusion but yea and we have over 300 alters, that would be a pain

And kinda off topic but we just graduated (still 2 more graduations to go but still)

[pulsar wren]

Why do you have multiple? /nfta

[wind shell]

multiple what?

ArsonCrows [🌑🪶] ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) Why do you have multiple? /nfta

ohh nvm lol

[pulsar wren]

Graduations

[wind shell]

cause different degrees prolly lol

w

[digital abyss]

That's so valid. I think we were aiming moreso for adult systems here who have a bit more adulting and independance but were curious nonetheless. It's hard to tell when you still live in said enviorment.

[pulsar wren]

We’re in the same boat as Vince

[digital abyss]

Valid

Personally we've only met multiple functuality fellers but thats jst outta curioisty. Besides, not an overnight decision.

[wind shell]

mhm

[pulsar wren]

Fair

[green lava]

i feel you
im tired of the constant dissociation and amnesia. its so disruptive. i just wanna live my life 😭🙏

[green lava]

i can understand that
i know a lot of our fully formed alters are like that in a sense - they dislike the idea of not being themselves and living as themselves. however, theyre open and okay with working towards healing and integration because they know how important it is for all of us to live a good and healthy life. they accept that fusion can happen and i know even personally the idea of some frequent and well known alters suddenly not being there is strange since its been that way for a while - but again, we all accept and understand that healing and integration is important for us, and if fusion happens thats a GOOD thing and it is something we do want. even if they fuse, they know they wont really be “gone” because they will still live on within us, integrated. and when they fuse, its their “new self” and they are okay with that idea, because it’s important for us to get to that.

again, i have no idea if we will ever reach full fusion. personally, with how often we dissociate, and how its been that way our entire lives, i dont think final fusion is ever something we could do, based on how easily it would be for my brain to split again. however, integrating to the point of better communication, and LESS alters, and better communication between them and less amnesia is a massive goal for us. we just wanna live our life. we dont wanna constantly be dissociating and forgetting everything and just not feeling present and alive. i hate the dpdr that also goes with DID. i feel like people dont talk about it a lot but its not always just dissociation and amnesia between alters, but just dissociation and amnesia in GENERAL due to the stress and trauma of this disorder, and unworked through trauma from CPTSD. its awful. weve been in a constant and consistent state of derealization and dissociation and depersonalization for MONTHS and we dont even feel alive half the time 😭 its why again, healing is so important to us. we want to feel alive and feel better, no matter how long it takes or how much work it takes

[wind shell]

yee I agree

[green lava]

i relate to this SO much
as much as i hate having DID, imagining suddenly not having ANY of our alters and us all being fused is unnerving. its feel almost a little freaky at the thought, but its because its been like this our entire life, even before we were aware of it. i guess i just wish i didnt get traumatized to the point of developing it. i wish i never developed it at all 💀

but yeah, integrating is the goal. i dont believe we will ever reach final fusion personally based on how we function and what i have learned about our system, but integration and lowering the alter count and barriers is our main thing rn.

we just wanna heal. however that happens is up to our brain. whatever our brain feels comfortable to do, really. we just are focusing on healing best we can as time goes on and seeing what happens

so far though, i havent been aware of any definite fusions

if they have happened, im not aware of them

not yet, at least

but i really hope to be with further therapy

and actually see progress

but affording regular therapy is the kicker 💀

and after all the new stress and trauma its like, going back to how it was when i first realized we were a system almost 😭 communication sucks unless someone is super close in co front or co con

and even then, on very dissociated days, its ROUGH

but we see our therapist july 1st (soonest i could see him cuz hes on vacation)

so im looking forward to that

[coral flint]

Although this mostly applies to our subsystem… don’t have much contact with others atm

[wind shell]

Our system mate Norway really wants to learn more about his subsystem right now much about it is a mystery other then he knows 7 and feels there are 5 more and he knows some are adults. Not much else

[wind shell]

I feel like we have a really weird experiance of how we front- or alot of us front- it's like whoever is mainly fronting it's kinda like, when we switch we don't always notice immidiatly- sometimes we do it depends on variables- especially cause alot of the time we have more thne like 2 people co fronting, and they often like blend together to form this unique person while fronting that is never replicated again, if someone comes to front it changes slightly, same if someone leaves, and so often it takes us a little to realise someone isnt fronting anymore, less so if someone comes to front, and liek we can figure out who we are- sometimes takes a bit of effort but we get there, and its def not all the time, sometimes it's very obvious when someone leaves, sometimes we are very much spereate when co fronting, even when we are like joined(?) Each
alter can dos stuff seperatly- like control parts of the body separately,
Idk I might be wrong but I feel like it's not very common and ik each system is very different and stuff, idk it's been bothering me

Also how do other systems tell/decide who is host, cause the last host is no longer host, ans we have a couple partial hosts who kinda like mangage stuff is the host is taking a break or whatever, but it's we didn't really realise till today that no one is actually the host rn, and its not really causing any issues, im just curious to how other systems figure out who the host is and stuff

[midnight drift]

We don't really have blackout amnesia but equally we're also tired. There's a lot of confusion within our system despite some level of memory share and it's absolutely exhausting trying to even somewhat keep track of whats happening.

We're undecided on final goal because we're too unstable as a system to know whats even a realistic goal for us just yet. Even if we're not headed for fusion we want integration (i.e. improved communication and more control over switches ect)

[wind shell]

Reacently we were just doing stuff not noticing a thing then said wait when did I switch. Wird. We then tasted black licorice on our lips which we love and it makes us really happy so we are thinking that positively brought us out without us realizing till it registered. Its like idk who i am then wait how are we here doing tasks of some sort. Hmmm. It was a interesting wabam your in front feeling to say the least

[midnight drift]

Unrelated note:

Has anyone switched without noticing, completed a task/appointment, and then switched back and only noticed that wasn't you who did that after the fact? Like the person who switched in also didn't notice they weren't you?

I can't tell if it's fragments, extreme masking, or just being too dissociated to notice but it's actually really unsettling.

[hollow orchid]

Yeah, we have

(Hi, I have appeared)

[wind shell]

I think for me, I want to be able to integrate with my other parts, and I’d prefer functional multiplicity but also know that some fusions may unintentionally occur in that progress.

That might have happened for us, not entirely sure though

Alex - @Ping me! [✨] ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) Unrelated note:

Has anyone switched without noticing, completed a task/appointment, and then switc…

Sorry about my messages being at awkward timings - my signal keeps dropping

Once didn't realize someone was completing therapy then when we got home we noticed stuff from many alters was out everywhere and they were therapy itams and we were like what the how did we get there and when did we finish and get home. It was one of the oddest things its like one minute were home watching tv relaxing after a anxiety attack then boom were home with all our therapy stuff spread out everywhere having no idea how it happend. It felt like one of those sleeps where you fall asleep then imediantly wake up and its already morning but you feel like you just went to sleep

[midnight drift]

I think there's a confusion on language & I wanna clear some things up:

Integration:
The system generally being more cohesive. This can be fusion, breaking down amnesia, improved communication, less arguments, and many more things.

Fusion:
When two or more alters completely merge into one alter. This is why completely removing any dissociative barriers that keep them separate.

Fusion is a type of integration, but not all integration is fusion

/info/nm

[wind shell]

Thanks - there’s so much contradictory stuff out there and i was confused, i did ask in a CDD research server I’m in, but didn’t get a response and still wanted to try and add to the conversation

[midnight drift]

No ofc your response is still valued, not just you who gets them mixed up!

[wind shell]

Yeah!
I just got a response from that server and it was basically just “ask what they mean in the context”

[midnight drift]

I generally avoid online system community spaced because of how much misinformation that's spread - it's so confusing to try to sort through what's true and what's not

[wind shell]

Even Google has misinformation on

That is easily accessible

[midnight drift]

Yeah unfortunately. Especially now with a lot of it being AI generated

[wind shell]

It’s so annoying and makes it hard to research your own disorder when you can’t comprehend things like university studies and dissertations

[midnight drift]

The amount of people who I see taking the little Google AI summary as gospel is truly disturbing, it's rarely accurate.

It's not even accurate for things like baking ingredients! (Random side comment I know but it ticked me off lol)

[wind shell]

Is this space against endos? /genq
I can never remember and I’m in some spaces that are converting to pro-endo

Haha

Alex - @Ping me! [✨] ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) It's not even accurate for things like baking ingredients! (Random side comment I know but it ticked…

This space generally is yes. I personally take the stance that, no, endogenic systems are not a thing. However - I believe a lot of these people are truly systems and have fallen victim to being told they're not.

I think they're systems who truly have no memory of their trauma at that time and people telling them that there is such thing as a non disordered system is harmful and they then do not seek the professional help they need.

Nova || It/They 🪽🧮 ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) Is this space against endos? /genq
I can never remember and I’m in some spaces that are converting t…

Ok, thanks, just because I wanted to add something that google ai summary has picked up…

[midnight drift]

Oh?

[wind shell]

Second to last point mainly

Oh of course auto proxy was turned off 🙄

Lmao

I frankly can't even comment without my head hurting. /lh

If you search up DID/OSDD you’re fine but as soon as you search up “plurality” it adds that point about non-disordered

Obviously, spiritual mediums are an exception, but they are not the same as “endogenic systems”

Truly I'd love to have my old job back but I'm not certain I can sit in front of a camera and calmly debunk these things without immediately getting a migraine!/lh

Yeah

I do only worry for the children because they are the ones falling victim to this :c

Oh yeah. It’s easy to get sucked into it

We almost did

Adults may more easily be able to understand wrong from right but younger teens who are just now starting to show symptoms are so at risk of absorbing misinformation and clinging to it to explain what's happening to them

Yeah - I do try and catch any if I spot them

And of course, right? What 14 year old wants to be told that they have a life long disorder because of extreme trauma that they cannot understand or may not even remember?

I do my best but unfortunately most communities I've tried to speak out in shut us out as 'invalidating their experience' which is never our intention at all!

Yeah

Only reason we were able to accept it reasonably quickly is because our trauma has been so relevant that we’ve known a lot of it just not the specific events so we are able to piece together a lot of stuff already

Also the host at the time had been suspecting it for a good couple of months before we had a big dissociative event

We were aware of our trauma and still didn't accept it even somewhat until college and I (Alex) still struggle with a lot of denial years down the line.

Yeah fair enough

We suspected it for years but unfortunately as the host was misinformed by the internet they thought they used to be a system but it just stopped after they got therapy.
(6 weeks of depression focussed counselling that didn't even particularly work)

Oh how wrong they were..

Because of course! The people in my head are just the depression! How silly of me/s/j

Omg not the failed counselling that didn’t work
Canon event in every system’s mh experience I fear

I've been failing at therapy since I was 9, a professional at this point

Nova || It/They 🪽🧮 ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) Omg not the failed counselling that didn’t work
Canon event in every system’s mh experience I fear

Haha

Only now starting to actually get somewhere 🥲

Yeah

Starting my dissociative assessment for a full diagnosis soon tho, that'll be helpful

Unfortunately we’ve only been “bad enough” to require therapy once in our life before we had the big dissociative event

But now we’re in trauma therapy, but not DID focused therapy, probably because we’re a minor and they don’t want to even think about giving minors a DID diagnosis or treatment

Ooo that’s good

Co-front Alex & Nin | They/ask | ✨ ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) Starting my dissociative assessment for a full diagnosis soon tho, that'll be helpful

I had all the diagnostic screening to say I was severely depressed, extremely low self esteem, extremely anxious, ADHD, autism, and other things around the age of 9.

I read thru all the paperwork recently and you wanna know their diagnosis?

Drumroll please......

nothing

😭

Because I had two friends and didn't hit people (often)!

Omfg 😭

I currently have 3 friends…
Audhd, audhd, suspected audhd

(I am on the autism pathway and self-suspect adhd)

If I could befriend my autism I would but currently we're friends with benefits at best

Yeah

Well.. switchy morning I see

Oop

I'm going back to bed, ciao.

Alright

[pulsar wren]

I have many friends. My favourites are autism & anxiety because psychosis likes to come and go so idk if we’re friends per se ( would synesthesia be considered a friend? Idk )

[stable sapphire]

Schooling here so even though in most places I would be in high-school already I'm technically not here but I am at the same time, it's weird idk how to explain but anyway I have to graduate high-school then we're going to uni

[maiden plover]

Most people want integration. Do you mean final fusion?

[digital abyss]

for sure

[digital abyss]

I did, I didn't know the term for it until now. Please don't ping me ^^;

[hybrid skiff]

honestly host is just a label we put on someone who fronts the most and masks the most honestly. its not really a uh thing you can tell ig? its different for everyone

[green lava]

this happens a LOT with us
weve been extremely dissociated lately so we just havent know who is around 90% of the time, but even in the past weve had this happen and its really just due to bad dissociation. we dont even realize it until after and go “hold on, that wasnt me, and i barely remember it” type shit

[maiden plover]

Sorry

[digital abyss]

all good

[wind shell]

Hii!!

[maiden plover]

hi

[wind shell]

We’ve been rapidly switching today… :C

[acoustic fjord]

Hey I have a genuine question.
How do you describe when someone is not plural but has like... some "other me" in them?

Is it an alter ego?

I am certain I'm not plural, and never was, I just have been finding out over time certain things about myself and my "consciousness" and overarching identity that feels like a version of a Matryoshka doll. I feel like there is the outer shell and inner core but that core has two "subcores", not one. Not like splitting or anything like DID but just two more or less overlapping selves. And the outer shell is my external expression or sonething like so.

I don't feel like I have any alters, but I feel almost like I am in-between being one entire cohesive identity and having two different internal expressions. It's hard to tell.

I sincerely would like to hear your perspectives. /nf

[wind shell]

Can you elaborate on "Other self"??

[acoustic fjord]

I am not sure how to describe it....

I'm not even sure how the DID community sees this

or just in general

[wind shell]

Then I can't rlly help ya I dont understand what ur askin

[acoustic fjord]

ok

[wind shell]

like you present urself in 2 ways??

[acoustic fjord]

Not necessarily in means of how I present myself

But how I feel inside

I'm sorry I don't have the proper wording

[wind shell]

So a perception of self thing?

[acoustic fjord]

yes

[weak basin]

GG @acoustic fjord, you just advanced to level 10!

[acoustic fjord]

just broadly put, yes

[wind shell]

Uhh im pretty sure thats just having different emotions ?

We’re thinking right now /lh

[acoustic fjord]

not in that sense

I really don't know tbh I'm new to this

[maiden plover]

I mean, that sounds more like what is experienced by people with CPTSD, identity confusion and overlapping internal parts of you. Something similar to what IFS is used for

I am not saying you have CPTSD btw

[wind shell]

New to what??

Talia (ping me for reply) ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) I really don't know tbh I'm new to this

[maiden plover]

I assume new to understanding their internal experience?

[wind shell]

I was talkin to Talia not you /nm

[maiden plover]

I know

[wind shell]

then why'd ya reply to me?? /genq

[maiden plover]

Because they weren't responding and I was attempting to help with understanding since you seemed to not understand what they were referring to.

[acoustic fjord]

In that case I do feel that this speculation may be partly correct

[acoustic fjord]

also this.

(in that specific angle)

[digital abyss]

depersonalization / derealization is common w (c)ptsd, as well as dissociation nonetheless. if you look back on actions from the "alter ego" and go "yeah no that definetly was not me at ALL" versus "that was me but in an episode". thats typically how i describe it at least. i may jst be missing the point your asking

[digital abyss]

(ping reply)

[acoustic fjord]

I see what you mean

(have to rest my eyes, having a visual FND flare atm)

[digital abyss]

All good

[green lava]

A lot of disorders can cause feelings like this. As mentioned by others already, PTSD/CPTSD does. Any type of trauma can cause dissociation to an extent. Its also common in things like BPD, anxiety, depression, etc.

Look up and research IFS therapy. You’ll find a lot that might connect with how you’re feeling. IFS can be used for many different things as mentioned above, even just depression and anxiety. Everyone has “parts” to an extent; but not in the OSDD/DID way. There are things called “ego states” and those can represent different feelings, reactions, or experiences in your brain. For example, someone with anxiety may “want to leave the house and go hang out with friends” but their anxiety says “thats scary and I don’t want anything bad to happen so I’ll just stay in.” Those are two different ego states. Sometimes they are often separated to an extent due to the disorder(s) that cause it. Again, not the same way as in DID/OSDD, but in its own way. If you look into and research IFS it goes into this more in depth!

In actual therapy, IFS therapy is used to help “integrate” those ego states and by doing so, helping the person work through their fears, struggles, trauma, etc.

Learning about IFS from my therapist changed a lot for me. Its helped us progress more in healing a lot

and will help in continuing to do so

[maiden plover]

Yeah, the key difference between ego states/alters/parts in DID and in regular people is that people with DID have much more distinct and disorder parts due to amnesia and dissociation where as IFS believes that all regular people have parts that work in harmony together and viewed as one or "me" with a lack of autonomy and at times need therapy to guide that harmony. Where are DID and other parts disorders had distinct parts due to a lack of harmony/cohesion and active compartmentalisation from dissociation and/or amnesia leading to more disordered, autonomous parts resulting from childhood trauma

[wind shell]

this is for the gatekeepers. does anyone have that one member that's super important to the system like a co-host or protector but they are super problematic but they don't mean it? we have a protector that's just trying to do his job but ends up going over board and being super problematic.

[green lava]

you put it perfectly!

[wind shell]

Yes. Our former host who is still in the system.

Blurry/Misty/Nic0-he/it 🥀✨ ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) this is for the gatekeepers. does anyone have that one member that's super important to the system l…

[wind shell]

Yes. For us, most recently, that is one of our protectors.

Blurry/Misty/Nic0-he/it 🥀✨ ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) this is for the gatekeepers. does anyone have that one member that's super important to the system l…

[wind shell]

the new season finale of doctor who is hurting our brain

[hollow orchid]

We want to get into Dr Who!! -Ozzy

[wind shell]

We want to get into Dr Who!!

[azure egret]

cw: rant, dont have to read/nfta, ||swearing & poor mental health/things we're not supposed to mention but oh well|| you're all wonderful 💙
We're already semi-open w our mother but I want us to be able to be ourselves and feel free to do so. I had to wait 6 months to get back in with the therapist the majority of us felt comfortable and safe talking to and found out today that we can't even get back in with her. It took years for us to find someone we all felt safe around and I ruined it. Sorry to be depressing I just really feel like ||shit|| rn and want to not exist so that means I'm very much fronting which is just sick. so gr8. I have to go through a whole other program before even being introduced back yo the practice to be considered for a different therapist and I want to dissolve. ||Had to get this off my chest so I don't hurt us. still honesly not off the table and I feel even shittier for that.|| if you read this or didn't I hope you're all doing well. just had to say something to someone. Fun times at ridgemount high 🤙
-tyler

[wind shell]

Anyone have any advice for dealing with dissociation that has lasted 48hrs+ that won’t stop no matter how hard you try to ground…?

[stable sapphire]

We're going through the same thing rn actually and honestly no idea

[wind shell]

Gosh I wish I knew so I could help you. We have been going threw that especially with the stress of the tw ||bugs|| our landlord won't fix because its disrupting our sleep and causing us to freak any time we have to go in our host and their husbands shared bedroom to get something and our dissociation is always worse and longer with lack of sleep and we rapid switch a lot. Probably explains this

[maiden plover]

For me, dissociation is constant, at least to some degree, when dissociative episodes happen (for me that means experiencing a much more intense form of dissociation or a new form that I am unsure of how to deal with or unfamiliar with) I often just have to wait it out, I find dipping my hands or face in ice water can help sometimes, or taking a very cold shower. Sometimes looks for something that may be triggering can help

[wind shell]

I can’t tell who’s fronting at all

[pulsar wren]

I’m extremely confused by the concept of Pluralpunk and what pro-endos think they’re doing with it

“We accept disordered/traumagenic systems as well” ( I.e. actual systems )
“We don’t accept experiences of systemhood that are harmful to the person”

My apologies my good man but do you not know what disordered means?

A disorder is a thing that negatively affects your day to day life, I.e. it harms your ability to function day to day. DID/OSDD inherently negatively effects a person. That’s like saying “I accept disability but not disability that negatively effects the person”

Am I misunderstanding the definition of ‘harmful’ here because if you’re dissociated 24/7 that’s not exactly a positive experience

[coral flint]

I am so confused as to what they’re talking about there too

That’s.. not very punk tbh /silly

But I’ve heard of that term here and there and I just kinda ignored it

[pulsar wren]

I do need to ignore it, yea, it’s so weird

[coral flint]

Yeah… I say that but I did just go on a long rabbit hole soo

[wind shell]

That is so fucked up oml

It’s like saying “you can talk about your parts, just not the dissociation that caused them”

Endos also stole systempunk from real systems

Like it was “pluralpunk is for endos, system punk for traumagens” but then they just stole it and used it anyway

Things like this mean I can kind of see why systemscringe and fdc exist. They’re just implemented in such a horrible way

[pulsar wren]

Yes, the amount of endos I see in systempunk is just so annoying

It’s the same issue I have with able-bodied people in c-punk, like, you know this isn’t about you, right? /not at anyone here

[pulsar wren]

Systemcringe and fdc don’t actually care about who does or doesn’t have a disorder, they’re just bullies

There’s no way to correctly implement a group of bullies

[coral flint]

What’s c-punk? /gen

[wind shell]

Yeah.
If it was focused on people who have been 100% proven to fake or people like endos, then fine. That’s what I meant by implementing it correctly. Not just fakeclaiming everyone at every small thing (/nm)

ArsonCrows [🌑🪶] ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) There’s no way to correctly implement a group of bullies

[pulsar wren]

c-punk is short for [idk if I’m allowed to say it on here cause it’s a slur but you can guess what it is] punk, basically it’s a movement for and about physically disabled folks and rights of physically disabled folks and things like that. Systempunk but for physical disability basically

[wind shell]

If people are invading that then oml 😭

I wouldn’t mind able-bodied people posting for awareness reasons in there about disabled people. But if they’re just in there because they sprained their ankle…? No

[pulsar wren]

A core tenant of it is that physically disabled folks don’t have to be inspirational or fit into society’s norms or anything, we can do whatever we want and present any way we like

[pulsar wren]

I’ve usually seen it with either plus sized people or able-bodied neurodivergent folks like folks with ocd or adhd and not those with temp disabilities