DID/OSDD-1 System Chat

[tight flax]

Thanks

[pulsar wren]

How’d you figure out you were posted on there?

[paper crater]

I look at the subreddit a lot as a like “I hope I’m not on there” thing

[pulsar wren]

Oh

Have you ever seen me on there? ( I also do the whole ‘scroll on fdc as a “I hope I’m not there”’ thing )

[digital abyss]

Thats gotta be a bad way to spend your time I feel like that drains mental health

[pulsar wren]

It is

[digital abyss]

So... why do yall do it? Itll worsen imposter ayndrom

[pulsar wren]

Anxiety ✨

[digital abyss]

right but who cares what redditors think

theyre redditors

some ppl on the internet cant dictate your experiences

and who cares if they think ur faking?

thats the mindset ive had to bring myself to

[pulsar wren]

It’s not a matter of that, it’s a matter of the fact I know one frequenter of fdc knows the darkest secrets about our system ( we didn’t know they frequented fdc when we told them ) and if they were publicised I would die internally

Idk about Jas though

[digital abyss]

ooohh well yea thats more personal

i was speaking broadly

yknow

[pulsar wren]

True

I know a lot of systems browse who fdc and syscringe trying to see if they’re there honestly

The idea of being fakeclaimed by redditors is apparently a universal system fear

[digital abyss]

Like -- ignoring personal connection -- redditors cannot dictate your system experiences, the validity of a system whom majority are not themselves, and your own trauma and life they know nothing about.

It is a valid fear, however, you all are playing into than paranoia way more than you need to be. In my opinion, if you are gonna circulate fake disorder cringe, so be it. You don't have to be diagnosed to be a system. Most aren't until early 30s, and OSDDID is still being studied.

If you are worried about being harrassed for it, that is a natter if legal authority. If it is a fear of online trolling and bullying, the block button is my favorite red button.

Don't gotta listen to the old TV's advice, but in my honest opinion, time spent on fdc, syscringe, etc. will do more harm to your system with imposter syndrome and anxiety. You could focus your time on working with your system, versus making sure the validity of your system isn't being judged by a redditor.

Not directed at anyone specifically, not mad, etc. I'm not best with tonetags.

PS. Redditors smell.

[wind shell]

Damn I don't think we got the memo then lol

ArsonCrows [☀🪶] ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) The idea of being fakeclaimed by redditors is apparently a universal system fear

[digital abyss]

Same BAHAHA

[paper crater]

Oh yeah… it’s definitely no good at all. I do it more out of a compulsion than an actual thought to check it.

[wind shell]

Used to do that too

[paper crater]

How’d you stop?

[wind shell]

Well.. I don’t really know? Host change + got bored of it + broke out of the cycle + privated our pluralkit

[paper crater]

Ok

[wind shell]

But in general.. try to do something else that might make you feel more secure, as well as maybe browsing the osdd and did subreddits cause I think that helped us

[paper crater]

Yeah

I mean… in the end they did help me be like “wait shit- Jinx is here because [trauma shit] not silly shit” 😂

But obviously it was still not good at all

[wind shell]

Yeah.. I’m really sorry that happened to you

[pulsar wren]

Fdc and syscringe suck

Just generally

[wind shell]

Yep

[pulsar wren]

They also frequently just straight up lie

[wind shell]

They are very much not accurate, and either way pretty morally wrong in our opinion

[pulsar wren]

The amount of times you’ll see fdc go “this person is self-diagnosed [blank]” and then you go to the person’s page and they have like 5 TikToks documenting their diagnosis journey is appalling

[wind shell]

Yep! Also nobody owes people on the internet proof of diagnosis lol

[pulsar wren]

Very true

[wind shell]

I’ve thought about trying to send a screenshot of our autism diagnostic document and black out some stuff but like.. no lol

[digital abyss]

Iduno if any1 read this

[paper crater]

Also the fact you can find their page when one of their rules is “protect their identity and don’t witch hunt”

[paper crater]

I did but immediately forgot I did 😭

Very valid points though

I thought something bad and just heard Leon go “this bitch…” 😭😂

[pulsar wren]

It’s super easy

[wind shell]

yeah. like it’s not that hard, especially when they include what a post’s title is

heck i found someone’s twitter once

[pulsar wren]

I managed to figure out someone’s discord from their pfp once

I knew the person so I had a bit of a bonus but they posted the server name so anyone could’ve figured it out

[ember vessel]

\ (by the way if you’re gonna use pk then you have to have the we have alters role? /lh /info)

[wind shell]

oops sorry, think jas removed all did related roles yesterday…
i’ll get that added back

yeah, i recognised some messages from a server in a post once and managed to get the person who posted there banned from the discord server

ArsonCrows [☀🪶] ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) I knew the person so I had a bit of a bonus but they posted the server name so anyone could’ve figur…

[pulsar wren]

We still can’t find who posted it

[wind shell]

it’s ok and thanks. :) /gen

ace || he/they 🪽🧮 ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) oops sorry, think jas removed all did related roles yesterday…
i’ll get that added back

[ashen scaffold]

@inland bough

@opaque yew

[inland bough]

Mrowp

[ashen scaffold]

hey!

anyways can you explain why you believe you’re a system and what symptoms?

it would be more helpful if it was today but sure

[weak basin]

GG @ashen scaffold, you just advanced to level 14!

[hybrid skiff]

its a childhood trauma disorder, constant trauma as a child. its not roleplay app /lh

Chatgpt?!?!

[digital abyss]

GPT???

[cedar glacier]

We lost.

[ashen scaffold]

GPT???

[hybrid skiff]

No you need to do real research wtf /vneg

[digital abyss]

lock tf in what kinda research is gpt

[ashen scaffold]

no

[digital abyss]

WHAT.

[cedar glacier]

No.

[inland bough]

You said you researched it well

[ashen scaffold]

search up an article on it or something.

not chatgpt

[cedar glacier]

[inland bough]

It’s also AI

[ashen scaffold]

actually search up the articles

[inland bough]

And you could instead read said articles

[ashen scaffold]

search it up yourself not using chatgpt

because wtf.

[digital abyss]

This is a disgrace can we lock in

[hybrid skiff]

Go on google, don't be lazy and search it up if you are GENUINELY concerned with it. Talk to a medical professional and everything /lh

[digital abyss]

Using generative ai for a complex childhood trauma disorder to aee if you can use fucking pluralkit is disgraceful. Get a grip.
-# If mods are pissy at my reaction, ban me. Idfc

[hybrid skiff]

DID has destoryed so many lives including ours, I can't even fucking remember half of my days or people i love and the memories

Its a fucking accessiblity app

[ashen scaffold]

not to mention how terrifying it is to not be there and have everything in your life change.

and how scary it is because you never know if you’re gonna be there.

[hybrid skiff]

Everyday we wake up not knowing who we are, sometimes DAYS.

[digital abyss]

What in the chronically online is your reasoning to look up DID because of fucking PK?? Take my damn disorder. Wake up in locations with no recollection of where you are. Be fearful for your life. Lose you family and friends for interactions you never had. Take it.

[wind shell]

Imagine waking up one day and fucking YEARS have passed. All your fucking friends gone, a whole new appearance and NAME. /srs

Thats what happened to me. I fucking last was here in middle school AND I CAME TO US ALMOST DONE WITH COLLEGE. I lost all my friends, I lost all my hair and we go by a completely different name. Do you know how hard it is not being able to constantly be here for your loved ones.

I had an alter who hadn't fronted in over 5 years. Imagine having to relearn your entire life. All you friends are gone. You have graduated when you last remember starting school. You lost all you love. ||You never got to say goodbye to your loved ones.|| Lock. The fuck. In.

tw : death mention

🦴 Doom ⫘ he/itz/bang — ?¿ ⋆ . ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) I had an alter who hadn't fronted in over 5 years. Imagine having to relearn your entire life. All y…

Tw: death

I hope you know that people have genuinely feared for their life. Me included. I have almost ||died|| multiple times over this disorder. I have had moments where everything feels like it’s not real. I have had days where I’ve been so confused on who I am. I had to be the last fucking person in this system to know ||my grandma died||. If you want this disorder you can fucking have it. Please take it. Think about this shit before saying it again. Do some actual fucking research.

I feel like I shouldn't ask what happened but uh wtf happened????!

Tweaking out over Tubbo thinking he has DID to use PK and the research he is doing is on ChatGPT..

💫 . Jazmine ╱ they⸝⸝ 🌷 ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) I feel like I shouldn't ask what happened but uh wtf happened????!

Smh 😭

Okay but seriously why actually wants this??? It's not even remotely fun. It's just horrible and then feeling crazy and people not believing you making it worse-

Exactly bro

Was concerned ppl were randomly pissed at someone but I checked the context and… yeah

Glad yall agree 😭🙏

ChatGPT is crazy lmfao

frr

Was there something they said or from this chat?

Nova/Noah - he/they ||BIRDS ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) Was concerned ppl were randomly pissed at someone but I checked the context and… yeah

Vc chat I believe

Oh

it was in vc chat and then here

It just like the slightly different personality thing he described is most likely not DID or OSDD it could just be mood swings or something, especially without anything else alongside

[upper sundial]

Is this chat specifically for people who use pk? I just had a question

[wind shell]

wrong proxy

i think people can ask questions nd stuff here too

not sure though

[upper sundial]

Well my question was would it rude to report the person who was in vc chat? I saw it and it was frustrating because I have a close friend who has osdd and this isn’t the first time I’ve seen this person make comments? My friend actually left the server because people were romanticizing osdd and did. I know I’m not diagnosed with osdd. And so it doesn’t directly affect me but it set my friend off and I don’t think that’s right? Sorry if I overstepped in any way

[wind shell]

honestly I have no input in this. If you want to you can because it’s definitely not osdd or did.

tubbo you said you was going to bed. we already told you it’s not how it works. don’t be getting defensive if that’s what you’re doing.

[upper sundial]

I wasn’t trying to be rude- it just really hurt my friend. Although if you want to continue talking let’s move it out of this chat

[inland bough]

Privileges? /genq

[wind shell]

oh!

[cedar glacier]

[wind shell]

w h a t

we

lost

[inland bough]

You’re calling accommodations and mobility aids privileges? /genq /neg

[wind shell]

I'd say its valid btw

Itbeme ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) I wasn’t trying to be rude- it just really hurt my friend. Although if you want to continue talking …

[inland bough]

“I can’t walk so I have to use a wheelchair, therefore I am privileged”
I understand having trouble explaining stuff, but can you try again, because right now you’re not doing very well. /srs /lu

[acoustic fjord]

they're rights

[inland bough]

Take your time, no rush /gen

[acoustic fjord]

sorry i just felt like adding in

Using a mobility aid is a human right.

I'm even trying to find a wheelchair myself. Sadly it's heavily gatekept by high costs. No one should have to go through such loops just for accommodations. /info

[upper sundial]

Sorry yall I didn’t mean to turn this into a problem for anyone- I just wanted to know what this community thinks about the situation and I didn’t want to report if it wasn’t a problem. It just hurt my friend

[inland bough]

No it’s okay, you’re not the cause /gen

[upper sundial]

Also- check colleges as some have resources for anyone even if your not in the college that’s how I got mine

[wind shell]

dw this wasnt started just cause of your friend

Do you actually see them as privileges or was that a slip up?

Tubbo (Tub boe) ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) I mean things like mobility aids, scribes for dyslexic people, etc

Kk

[acoustic fjord]

It took me 10 years to figure out what I actually had, there is really no rush in trying to figure out, and honestly, it's better to not rush it. /gen

[upper sundial]

This isn’t something you search by yourself-especially if your not diagnosed- if you really think you have it go to a professional

[acoustic fjord]

anyways i will return later, have to focus

good convo

[inland bough]

Tubbo. We’re not saying you can’t research DID and other disorders, what we’re trying to say is that you can’t say “I probably have x” or “I think I have x” after barely an hour of research, especially if that research is chatGPT. You are of course allowed to research and try to understand the disorder, but without a professionals opinion, saying that you have 80% of the symptoms and therefor can use PK (which, in this server, is only for systems), is wrong.

[wind shell]

i thought you said you had tourettes?

[inland bough]

Sorry I’m not understanding. Can you reword this please /gen

[tight flax]

You still can't use chat gpt and only use it for a tiny bit and say I think I have a,b,c

You can't say you have it though- I say I have tics, even though I have all the pointers of tourettes

[upper sundial]

Dude. Please don’t say you have something if your not diagnosed

[wind shell]

so you know that you have tourettes whenever there are other disorders that causes the same tics? If you’re not diagnosed don’t say you have it. Coming from a person WITH tourettes

Tubbo (Tub boe) ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) Because I KNOW I have it, my parents just won't give me a fucking chance to 100% confirm to everyone…

[upper sundial]

You can say you suspect you have something but don’t say you actually do if your not diagnosed

[inland bough]

It could be a lot of things. I went through many, MANY doctors who all asked me questions, and I had to give a detailed explanation of basically my life, so they could tell if it could POSSIBLY be something else. I got a brain scan to rule out more dangerous causes. You can absolutely say “I have tics” and you can absolutely say “I have coprolalia” etc. But if you aren’t diagnosed with TS, saying specifically Tourette’s is (in my opinion) misleading, and not okay.

[wind shell]

Especially with something neurological like that

I think they meant that it could be seen as a privilege cause its hard to get

Earth! (Pls @) ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) “I can’t walk so I have to use a wheelchair, therefore I am privileged”
I understand having trouble …

It’s like how you can’t self diagnose with Fnd (cause it’s a diagnosis of ruling out)

[upper sundial]

Also. can we continue this conversation somewhere else because I may be wrong- but this should be a safe place- not for ruling out if you have something or whatever is happening rn and I don’t think this is gonna help anyone if anything it might set someone off or trigger someone.

[wind shell]

You wasnt brought into this conversation Liz. Your name wasnt mentioned. If you don’t wanna be in this conversation then leave it. /gen

[inland bough]

I get how that’s extremely frustrating. I really do, I also have had my fair share of annoying parents (convincing them to get me to a doctor.) I understand that frustration and emotions can make everything seem messy and complicated. Getting a diagnosis you know is wrong is super frustrating. But that doesn’t make claiming a whole different diagnosis okay. I understand why you jumped to that conclusion (TS), but that doesn’t make it justified or okay.

[wind shell]

Okay I get everyone's upset and I 100% agree with not saying you have something you're not diagnosed with especially without proper research but I think this was uncalled for ngl /nm

Apollo 🦈 || They/them ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) You wasnt brought into this conversation Liz. Your name wasnt mentioned. If you don’t wanna be in th…

[upper sundial]

.-. I just saying my friend doesn’t feel safe in this server anymore because of things like this and that’s why they felt like they had to leave. In fact my friend is currently having a crisis and I don’t know how to help because this was there safe place?

[wind shell]

Lizzy has constantly brought herself into conversations without her being brought into them and i was being genuine. If she isn’t comfortable being in it then she doesn’t need to

💫 . Jazmine ╱ they⸝⸝ 🌷 ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) Okay I get everyone's upset and I 100% agree with not saying you have something you're not diagnosed… 📎

I get that but no one here is qualified to help with that and we can't help you sorry

Itbeme ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) .-. I just saying my friend doesn’t feel safe in this server anymore because of things like this and…

That's fair

Apollo 🦈 || They/them ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) Lizzy has constantly brought herself into conversations without her being brought into them and i wa… 📎

[inland bough]

I’m sorry they had a bad experience. We don’t have 100% control over what goes on here despite the mod team’s best efforts (I am not a mod.) If your friend is having a crisis, try to help them. Try asking what they know helps them (distractions, breathing exercises etc.)

[wind shell]

This is discord, that person needs to get off discord and seek help then. You can simply leave the conversation.

[upper sundial]

They shouldn’t have to leave? This was their safe place

Not to be rude in any way shape or form I’m just saying

[wind shell]

This is discord and a public server 🤷‍♂️

[cedar glacier]

It’s discord…

[wind shell]

Okay but we didn't make them leave so why are you here? /genq

Itbeme ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) They shouldn’t have to leave? This was their safe place

Wait but you said they left the server BEFORE this happened?? If they left the server then it’s not the servers problem? If they left then you told them all of this

Itbeme ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) They shouldn’t have to leave? This was their safe place

[tight flax]

And what does it have to do with the original conversation

[upper sundial]

They left because of this?

[cedar glacier]

Nope.

[inland bough]

I understand that this was their safe space. Leaving such spaces is hard. But you can’t tell us in the middle of dealing with another situation. We can’t fix this now. So it would be easier if you
A. Moved to another channel/DMS
B. drop it.

[wind shell]

.

Itbeme ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) Well my question was would it rude to report the person who was in vc chat? I saw it and it was frus…

[weak basin]

GG @pine marsh, you just advanced to level 5!

[wind shell]

Trying to do schoolwork rn but I'm super fuzzy bc of a whole thing with two other alters. Basically just fighting to stay in front enough to be productive in some way despite the blurriness and headache lol./lh

Schoolwork is fun/sarc

[hot rock]

/Not directly to this person.

I just wanted to hop in and say a bunch of people in this server self diagnose with things like autism or ADHD, and people find it valid. I think that’s just as problematic as self diagnose with TS or DID though. /lh

[tight flax]

i think i understand what your saying, i originally self diagnosed with asd and adhd, and am currently in the process of diagnosis for it, but with DID or TS or smth, its alot harder to tell, there isnt as much research, they are neurological conditions, and yea ik it says system for me, and to some extent i have self diagnosed, but i just suspect it- i have also discussed it with my psych, but it is to an extent different from self diagnosing with adhd or autism or smth, especially with stuff like TS, it is really important to not self diagnose because of the amount of different things it could be

and also those who have self diagnosed with did or osdd have done alot alot of research, its not just a couple hours of googling, its deep dives into website after website after website, cross checking, re evaluating your childhood and youth

[pulsar wren]

We generally try to avoid using the terms DID/OSDD unless relevant to the convo

We’ve done a lot of research ( too much research, all the research, we can pull out articles like it’s child’s play kind of research ) but we also just like the term system more and people tend to get confused and think were diagnosed if we say we have DID

We are very much pro-self diagnosis though. We were self diagnosed before we got our autism diagnosis and a lot of our other conditions are medically recognised but not diagnosed because doctors don’t see the point in diagnosing us with them ( like, many doctors agree we most likely have adhd or would at least benefit from adhd meds but we can’t access meds so they don’t see the point in diagnosing us )

[pulsar wren]

Yes. This.

[tight flax]

I agree with using system instead if did or osdd, I definitely do it too

[pulsar wren]

That’s because other conditions that aren’t Tourette’s can cause tics, there are 4 common tic disorders: Tourettes, Chronic motor tic disorder, Chronic vocal tic disorder, and Provisional tic disorder. There are also other disorders that can cause tics so without proper research it’s easy to confuse them.
Same with DID/OSDD, it’s easy to misunderstand regular human experience or other disorders as DID/OSDD ( I have so many stories of this ) so a lot of research is needed.
For things like Autism and ADHD, it’s easier to parse them out from other disorders personally but still hard to get a diagnosis ( we had to go through multiple professionals just because of our age with our autism diagnosis )

We’re pro-self diagnosis because we’ve had to fight the medical system so much but we’re also big on informed self-diagnosis which at its core requires research and looking into other disorders as well and things like that

I think saying self-diagnosis is problematic is a uninformed stance on its own, it speaks of not understanding the social, financial, and personal barriers to medical diagnosis as well as the amount of effort it takes to self diagnose. The issue with Tubbo/Tub Boe was that they only research they sited was ChatGPT ( also they said they were diagnosed with a different tic disorder that wasn’t Tourette’s yet still insisted they had Tourette’s )

[hot rock]

Okay thanks for explaining. I didn’t know there were multiple conditions that could cause tics. I totally agree that the medical system isn’t accessible what so ever. For me the problematic thing is if you self diagnose and end up missing other causes. This however may apply more towards physical conditions.

[pulsar wren]

Have something to add but too blurry to words, will say later

[wind shell]

does anyone have any tips to try get an alter to stop dissociating from current events?
They haven’t fronted in a week and a lot of stressful stuff has happened

[pulsar wren]

Grammar has returned. Will say; doctors don’t know what they’re doing either tbh in my experience

We were misdiagnosed so bad as a kid we have permanent damage to our metabolism and rn they literally cannot find the cause for our chronic pain at all. They thought it was Marfans — nope! — thought it was hEDS — nope! — hsd? — nope! — arthritis? Lupus? A million conditions you’ve never heard of? ( I doubt most people here even know what a Paget disease is without googling ) — nope! Not those either

Doctors have no idea what’s going on with our body, let alone our head. Whatever it is, they’re certainly not helping so the medical system isn’t as infallible as everyone loves to think

It’s not just about being inaccessible, it’s about the medical system being completely garbage in a lot of places

[ember vessel]

\ in regards to the whole thing with the person using chat gpt to figure out if they’re a system.

they’ve now been banned.

if anybody has any other complaints or concerns or something then you can open a ticket ( #⎘tickets ) and the mod team can try help.

[digital abyss]

Thank you popcorn council !!

[ember vessel]

(it wasn’t us it was stan who banned them. i just thought i’d say incase anybody was curious or worried or whatever else. but you’re welcome.. uhm. maybe. /lh /info)

[pulsar wren]

Then thanks, Stan!

[wind shell]

yes. we watched the whole thing but the alter in front doesn’t want to moderate so just sat there watching. then i came into front and started panicking over what in the heck is going on- but it’s ok. 😭 /lh

i still don’t understand what happened but i know enough to be like. yeah. ban is. yeah-

[pulsar wren]

They wanted to use pk, were told they couldn’t, decided to claim they were a system with GPT as their main source from what I saw

[desert crag]

also tubbo had a pfp with a wordplay of the n-word last year and that was racist and ive been a silent watcher ever since

[wind shell]

Oh shitttt

[desert crag]

ive been holding this grudge for a whole year lol

when i called him out on it he was like "oh i didnt notice" and took months to change it

anyways

[wind shell]

damn

I (ace) am hating the capital letters in the dn but jas is hating that my name isn’t capitalised 😂
Peak systemhood shit /silly

[wind shell]

and i think tubbo also brought up having an n-word tic that happens a lot so he says it all the time or something which is totally possible but with the pfp evidence i think he’s just wanting to be racist

[desert crag]

oh the pfp was definitely racist but idk about the tics. ive had him blocked for a year + i had him server muted. i would not say his tics werent real, i didnt get to know him (by choice) but i still wouldnt say his tics were fake. /lh

[pulsar wren]

I didn’t notice his existence till yesterday

I guess I’m lucky

[wind shell]

Oh..- that's not- so no..

aster-tje (@ping) ↩️

[(click to see attachment)](#1151243634876891246 message)

[wind shell]

Yeah I remember that

Apollo 🦈 || They/them ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) and i think tubbo also brought up having an n-word tic that happens a lot so he says it all the time…

[wind shell]

nodders. it definitely could be a real tic but he’s also weird about his tics which is what i was trying to get at

aster-tje (@ping) ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) oh the pfp was definitely racist but idk about the tics. ive had him blocked for a year + i had him …

[wind shell]

When you want a specific profile picture and can't find it

[wind shell]

Real

Or when it doesn’t look as good when you proxy

Like my avatar is more femme than it looks from here

[paper crater]

pk;m Nova avatar

[faint solstice]

Nova's avatar

To clear, use pk;member Nova avatar clear.

[wind shell]

We have that problem with Robin/Vouge/idek/wtf is that/no idea

Jason-Dean/JD| He/him | 17-20s | ✨ ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) When you want a specific profile picture and can't find it

Pretty sure Zero has/had a problem where his looked really scary when it's not

Nova || It/They 🪽🧮 ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) Like my avatar is more femme than it looks from here

[midnight drift]

Pk;m Zero avatar

[faint solstice]

Zero's avatar

To clear, use pk;member Zero avatar clear.

[wind shell]

See he's nice we promise

This is the new one

It did look a lot more.. murderous.

Haha

[digital abyss]

giggling some of ours have the most terrifying pfps and are jst chill guys

pk;m ben pfp

[faint solstice]

Ben's avatar

To clear, use pk;member Ben avatar clear.

[digital abyss]

points at them

we have a lotta spooky nonhuman fellers

nonhuman heavy sys

[hybrid skiff]

mhm

[digital abyss]

alright who let this guy do with with the pk 😭🙏

[wind shell]

😭

Gotta love the dudes being silly

finding shit like that is my favorite icl

memory loss sucks ass but then again you get suprised with this stuff

Yeah

This disorder doesn’t have to just be shitty. You can have the giggles part of the shits and giggles

real

[weak basin]

GG @paper crater, you just advanced to level 22!

[wind shell]

Biggest thing is you have to remember the shitty part because otherwise people scream at you 😭

Stfu mee6

reminds me of old shit like this

Lmao

This is our resident gay couple

We also have another gay couple but they’re all cuddly nothing funny there

GHELP

Nova || It/They 🪽🧮 ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) This is our resident gay couple 📎

the discovery of being an introject, a wonderful feeling 😭🙏

CHAOS ☆ HE/THEY — ?¿ ⋆ . ↩️

[(click to see attachment)](#1151243634876891246 message)

Straight after it because Sirius was distracting Remus so bad he messed up

Lmao

CHAOS ☆ HE/THEY — ?¿ ⋆ . ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) the discovery of being an introject, a wonderful feeling 😭🙏 📎

i make food first impressions

food??

good

im dead </3

(Person with no name is a little who used to not like talking)

who made this.

Lmaooo

we dont use sp chat a lot

but when we do its

im an issue

is what ive discovered

Crying

Pahaha

We always blame the headache on ace

Every single time it flares we do

Hold up brb, need to go blame him /silly

Nova || It/They 🪽🧮 ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) Every single time it flares we do

….

CHAOS ☆ HE/THEY — ?¿ ⋆ . ↩️

[(click to see attachment)](#1151243634876891246 message)

theres always one alter everyone blames for somethinng

Nova || It/They 🪽🧮 ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) We always blame the headache on ace

even if it aint their fault

coughs at calypso

bro doesnt even front anymore

and we still bully him

listen

Nova || It/They 🪽🧮 ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) …. 📎

i made that emoji

but its me

im so cool guys

he deserves it anyways /j

CHAOS ☆ HE/THEY — ?¿ ⋆ . ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) and we still bully him

It’s because we know a system who also has an Ace and their Ace is literally their headache holder, and our ace split after we met them and our ace is similar to theirs.

CHAOS ☆ HE/THEY — ?¿ ⋆ . ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) theres always one alter everyone blames for somethinng 📎

fire

It’s confusing

(sarc)

we jst bully calypso cause we can

Yeah

and he bullied everyone back

its great

Tbf ace is annoying because he hates capitals

its a 45 v 1

ace stop influencing me 😭

He won’t let me capitalise his name

i cant even show the whole thing its horrible

Ooop

hes jst a bitch /poa

pos

goblin if you will

i mean… calypso isn’t wrong

[digital abyss]

pk;m calypso pfp

[faint solstice]

Calypso's avatar

To clear, use pk;member Calypso avatar clear.

[wind shell]

that thing is a problem causer

resident gremlin

absolutelu hes fucking 4'11 he got the stature of one

ace || he/they 🪽🧮 ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) resident gremlin

this is what someone put as my species 😭

Wiat

beautiful

that’s not the updated one

we havent updated ours in a hot minute

i jst have a shit ton of screenshots in my camera roll of me

because im the funniest trust

haha

who did this

the freakinator

(chaos)

our quotes is mostly jst with our partner system

haha

Ours are just all over the place

behold

they call me the rizzler

🙏

someones lurking co con to bully me $3@20@/'zndoem

CHAOS ☆ HE/THEY — ?¿ ⋆ . ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) they call me the rizzler

HELP EM

oh fuck you dyno

PAHA

let me be loud

How many is the limit?

no clue

ABCDEf

im too energetic to be chaos

ABCDEF

6

six ig

Sorry mods by the way

like chaos is energetic but

CHAOS ☆ HE/THEY — ?¿ ⋆ . ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) im too energetic to be chaos

oh my gawd

I did not even register the proxy change

grabbing music to ground mhawrkg

Fuck

mysef

ghelp

Lmao

We canmt type when plurrg either

blurry

Ace fuck off

He just went “you’re aboutta fuck off” 😭

Uhhh

Yeah

No guesses as to who made this

(Sirius 100%)

sometimes i forget that other siriuss exist snd that they srent just our sirius

Nova || It/They 🪽🧮 ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) No guesses as to who made this 📎

i also forget that sirius is a character in HP because they tweak when someone calls them that

[digital abyss]

pk;m sirius pfp

[faint solstice]

Sirius's avatar

To clear, use pk;member Sirius avatar clear.

[wind shell]

i fear they just look like how we did two years ago bodily... we are not hp i pray and hope

im jst processing this why the fuck am i here

[azure egret]

we're sOoOoOoO switchy today my brain feels like it's overheating 😫❌
-Lexi, Tyler, for now at least 🫠🫠🫠

[wind shell]

We here everybody talking so much it's very loud

[green lava]

i have been blurry and not known who i am for a week and a half due to a shitty event FREE ME 😭😭😭😭😭

everytime something traumatic happens my system goes covert again 😐

well, covert to me

its always covert to others unless we decide to be open to certain people but the communication and amnesia walls get so bad for us idek wth goin on 💀

cant tell whos around, cant tell who i am ever, cant communicate with anyone and if i hear a voice i have no clue who it is ever, and the FREQUENT blackout amnesia

lawd have mercy 🙏

[wind shell]

Our host has been poof for unknown reasons we one day saw them freaked out and then when we came to we were out. I think it has something to do with their anxiety its been super bad lately

» SOLAR !! — ☀ ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) i have been blurry and not known who i am for a week and a half due to a shitty event FREE ME 😭😭😭…

That stuff is the worst we get it more then we like

» SOLAR !! — ☀ ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) cant tell whos around, cant tell who i am ever, cant communicate with anyone and if i hear a voice i…

[wind shell]

We've been like that a lot recently. Our host has been absent a LOT recently due to life events and stress. I have been having to take over and calm the body down because people keep getting worked up and panicky. I am just hoping, for everyone sake and my sanity, that this extra stressful stuff will be over soon.

Lukas Bondivick Norway 🍪 ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) Our host has been poof for unknown reasons we one day saw them freaked out and then when we came to … 📎

I also have been in front a lot because of flareups.

[wind shell]

Blurry…

Same. Might be exams for us. APs suck

Lukas Bondivick Norway 🍪 ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) Our host has been poof for unknown reasons we one day saw them freaked out and then when we came to … 📎

[pulsar wren]

We had a uni event thing the other day and we had Tubbo and Arson ( me! ) for it and something occurred that I can only describe as ‘bee, crow, and the audacity of them both’ cause we asked one of the staff a question purely to mess with him ( not in a bad way, in just a gaging opinions subtly manner ) and it was so funny

Apparently Tubbo being the most social being in the sys and me being me means that when we’re co we have no filter

[rocky river]

What does it feel like when a new alter exists??

I feel like I'm having a new part of me pop up

Where it's not a way I would "normally" act like

And after it fades away, I'm left back to my usual self

Idk how better to explain

It feels embarrassing to say, it feels like a new diva person

[green lava]

we just get super fkn blurry and dont know who we are but we feel different and it (usually) takes a while for us to figure out

[ashen scaffold]

same it makes us feel a little out of it

[wind shell]

Well helped coaxs our host out for therapy and it helped they got some stuff done. Now we're working on more teamwork and helping Sweden pair up with our host while our host identity fronts. Our therapist noticed his and our host have the strongest bond with each other so him being out with them is a good thing. Even Sweden agrees what ever helps our host identity feel independent

[rocky river]

[wind shell]

Yeah its a lot to think about

But Sweden has agreed to this with our host identity. They are a great paring together honestly

For us it feels really blurry and we don't know who's fronting and then they don't identify with any existing alters and then they usually fill out their profile cause I tell them to

Ani/Jade/Cesia ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) What does it feel like when a new alter exists??

[hybrid skiff]

Host identity? Whats that? The person who is the acting host or is it someone who looks like the body?

[rocky river]

I felt this new person come aftter i confronted my mom about something very important to me

[weak basin]

GG @rocky river, you just advanced to level 8!

[rocky river]

and it was extrememly emotional and distresssing

but i stood up to her for the first tiome

and thats when new identity came

[wind shell]

that makes sense

stuff like that tends to trigger alters out ¯_(ツ)_/¯

i know who i am for once so thats fun LMFAO

[rocky river]

yeah ig lol

i haven't had a new alter since 2018 😭

it's so confusing figuring things out

[rocky river]

all ik about her is that her mannerisms are very confident

very "diva-like"

diva energy

the exact opposite of me 😭

[maiden plover]

I mean that's probably a good thing

because it means your brains hasn't felt the need to form a new part to deal with additional trauma/stress

but it can then be difficult to adjust if a new part DOES form after a long time

[rocky river]

i wonder what name she will pick for herself

[rose oxide]

has anyone else experienced something like being a partial introject? cause im kind of like that but i also switch sources based on my hyperfixations, and sometimes it can be multiple sources/characters 😭

[pulsar wren]

Yea, Wren’s that for us and we call that a mimic personally because of how it works for us ( and also because Wren just likes that term )

[rose oxide]

ooo

[weak basin]

GG @rose oxide, you just advanced to level 4!

[wind shell]

For us we split really slowly so it feels like trying to switch to someone who isn't there & that feeling exists for usually a few weeks/months and then will go away when whoever's new fronts

Ani/Jade/Cesia ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) What does it feel like when a new alter exists??

Introjects rarely are an exact copy of the source - so yeah a lot of people probably do. I know I am

★ tweek [hypernova] ★ ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) has anyone else experienced something like being a partial introject? cause im kind of like that but…

[tight flax]

Yea definitely, we have someone who is a introject from a TV show but goes by a different name, and a bunch of other differences, we do know for sure he is from the TV show but there is alot of differences which is interesting

[rose oxide]

i didn't start off as an introject though

[wind shell]

I didn’t start off as an introject either, mate, far as I know

[rose oxide]

sometimes when i change source i do feel like a completely new alter though, it's weird and idk what it is

[wind shell]

yep, that happens

[rose oxide]

I think I'm just like super autistic <3

i literally became tweek a few days ago, and even tho our partner doesn't like south park, they are matching pfps with me and im so in love with them /ot

[green lava]

we relate to this
it usually takes us a few weeks or even months to figure out new splits, or even just alters that have been around and just developed from being fragments takes just as long sometimes

[maiden plover]

Does anyone else find that their introjected parts are extremely ashamed of their source? I mean most of my parts are shameful tbh, shame is part of the disorder but they seem to feel a unique shame towards where they come from, with fear that people won't take them seriously and so they hide it or try to entirely separate and avoid interaction with anything to do with it

[midnight drift]

Less shame and moreso anger/disgust but I have a handful of introjects from a public figure that we collectively do not agree with or identify with their actions. I think a lot of people forget you can't choose the source for introjects and even if you could they are individuals seperate from the source material

[wind shell]

in our system introjects either wanna consume source media all of the time or they wanna forget about it completely and not relate to it at all

us too LMAO

or some jst dont care at all -- indofferwnt abt it

or they are gabriella and don’t care either way but she’s not connected as much

gabriella is the only one like that

and then there’s the ones that are like “why are you an introject in the first place we forgot your source existed”

there’s one guy who literally begs to watch his source all the time and then there’s me who keeps stuff as far away as possible and doesn’t want to think about it. so we got some variety

And the whole thing of not wanting to use source related images as profile pictures. Which is the reason why I’m using this proxy and not my own, because I don’t know what my proxy currently looks like and cannot be bothered to check. In my case it isn’t shame, it’s more just that I do not want questions, but in others cases it is more shame than anything.

took over the chat a little didn’t we

[wind shell]

forgot a category

the ones who are selective about what they want to think about within their source

[rose oxide]

afaik, our introjects dont really care or they like their source, because it was a big hyperfixation or a special interest at one point. but we do have a few who despise their source because they turned out to be bad people

[wind shell]

Our introjects just avoid front or when they do front just don't care what people think but they also do feel a lot of shame kinda like they're pretending to be that person and they're really scared to make people uncomfortable

[wind shell]

it depends for us, me personally I think im so cool and awesome

I dont have much of a source tho lolol

[pulsar wren]

Ours vary but our introjects tend to start out with the genuine belief that they are their source, they figure it out eventually and tend to source separate but they do start off super source attached 90% of the time

[wind shell]

fair enough yeah makes sense, most of are semi source attached but not heavily, only like a handful or less are heavily attached

[wind shell]

Kinda off topic but we saw our therapist yesterday and we're actually really happy with how it's going. Like he actually acknowledged that I'm different from the old host and he knew who was fronting without us saying it and he was really supportive and actually acknowledged that we have alters without us bringing it up first (he acknowledged it before and believed us but we were constantly reminding him that there's different alters but we're really excited he seems to genuinely believe us)

[rose oxide]

thats awesome :3

we're in the process of switching from our therapist to a psychologist, but its taking a while because of our mom

[wind shell]

Fair, our therapist is a psychologist lol

[rose oxide]

ours is not 😭

she doesnt really know a lot about dissociative disorders in the first place, so shes just trying her best to help with what she can

[wind shell]

Also fair, our therapist is a child trauma therapist so I assume he was some experience with it and he's really educated on the topic and he also got supervision so we know he's making sure he's taking care of us mentally and all that which we're super thankful for

[rose oxide]

:d

ours is also a trauma therapist, but she works more with personality disorders

[wind shell]

Yea that makes sense idk we just got really lucky and our psychiatrist is also really nice about it and is accepting

[rose oxide]

ours is trying her best to help us convince our mom to take us to someone who knows about dissociative disorders and stuff

our mom is being really difficult about this stuff

[wind shell]

Our mom doesn't know actually. We asked that she doesn't get told

[rose oxide]

we had asked her about it before we got therapy, so whenever we mention like going to a psychologist she gets really defensive about it. we had to tell our therapist to talk to her about it so she would hopefully listen better (she didnt)

[wind shell]

Oh damn I really hope she changed her mind or you're able to convince her. I really hope you're able to get the help you need because everyone deserves that

[rose oxide]

yeah, im honestly just gonna ask her next session to just text or call my mom and just actually tell her i need better help, whether its DID or not.

and if she can do that, ill tell my mom that i will refuse therapy unless she takes me to an actual psychologist to get me the help i need

[wind shell]

Yea maybe that will work! I really hope it does

[rose oxide]

im scared to stand up to my mom though, so thats kind of the only problem

and we'll have to stay with my parents/grandparents until we get our service dog trained and until we get all our in-person college/uni classes are finished

then we will be moving to stay with our best friend or our partner

[wind shell]

Maybe it'll be easier then if you waited but tbh life is short you might as well try

[rose oxide]

i just wanna get the free college and service dog from my parents before we move

[wind shell]

as someone w free college and a service dog, you got the same priorities as me

★ tweek [hypernova] ★ ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) i just wanna get the free college and service dog from my parents before we move

[rose oxide]

lol

idk how long itll take to get a service dog though, cause our parents are making us wait until they get their new house built on their land

[weak basin]

GG @rose oxide, you just advanced to level 5!

[rose oxide]

but we're hopefully starting college classes soon, if i can muster up the energy to do it

[wind shell]

Fair

[rose oxide]

i think we're doing the boring classes first,, like math and english stuff over the summer for the accelerated courses

im so bad at math

[weak basin]

GG @stable sapphire, you just advanced to level 10!

[wind shell]

We're starting AP English next school year which we're excited for. Otherwise we aren't friends with school

[rose oxide]

we graduated hs early, so we get to start college early (i hate school so much)

[wind shell]

I wish- we have so many years ahead because we're doing psychology

Send help-

[rose oxide]

i love psychology,, we're doing graphic deisgn, cause we wanna do fursuit making

[wind shell]

Nice!!

Good luck!

[wind shell]

i hate setting up simply plural.

[rose oxide]

real, we just gave up

[pulsar wren]

Setting up SP? What’s that? /j

[tight flax]

Simply plural is basically a tracking app for systems, you can make profiles for alters, folders for them too, you can track fronting and stuff too, it's quite useful

[rose oxide]

im pretty sure their message was sarcastic or a joke,, they used /j (tonetag meaning joking)

[pulsar wren]

It’s a joke on the fact we very much never properly set up our sp, that’s what the /j was for

[tight flax]

Ahh I didn't see the /j I'm sorry

[pulsar wren]

No worries, tonetags are difficult

[wind shell]

8 out of the 9 alters in this subsys are co front right now,,

My head hurts 😭

[green lava]

we only have one alter who is extremely connected to source and genuinely feels like the character they are sourced from. this is something we want to work on with them, but they have been dormant so its impossible to do rn until they come back 😭

[green lava]

oh my GOD 😭🙏 im so sorry that sounds like a headache

[digital abyss]

what a feller indeed

[green lava]

definitely an interesting guy

bro fronted two-three times and never again

[wind shell]

rn its me, co-host, blake the other host, and then felix, a guy, rn 😭

idk why none of them have left since yesterday but oh well

[solid cedar]

Hey uhhh I'm not really sure rn so was looking for advice but im questioning whether i'm part of a system? I've been questioning for a couple of years at this point and i'm not sure but it seems to make sense. I definitely dissociate and i have memory issues where i can't remember things i did earlier in the day or week, and i hardly have any memory of more than a couple months ago. The thing i'm not so certain abt is alters, like i think i have them? but I don't really know what "counts" as an alter and i don't know if what i feel like is properly switching, i tend to feel pretty co-concious a lot of the time? And my personalities don't feel super contrasting, like they're different but have similar characteristics too? I also have a bunch of disorders that may confuse things a bit, like aphantasia, which is probably why i'm so uncertain.. but yeah, any help would be appreciated.

[maiden plover]

The best advice I can give you is try to find access to a psychiatrist or psychologist who specialises in dissociative disorders

You don't need to give them a label but discussing symptoms with them can be useful, since they're an unbiased 3rd party source and are trained in dissociation, they will be able to help you understand your symptoms, strategies to help manage symptoms and possibly provide a diagnosis if that benefits you

Having parts is a sign of a serious mental disorder so if you're considering possibly having parts, you definately shouldn't just sit on that without seeking professional help if you're able to

[wind shell]

Unfortunately due to the following factors we cannot in good faith answer this question in its entirety:

There are many disorders and conditions that cause dissociation.
Dissociation occurs with DID/OSDD-1, yes. It does not occur only with DID/OSDD-1.
The medium in which we are interacting.
We do not know you nor your life, we cannot ourselves observe and analyse your symptoms nor are we a professional who is qualified to observe and analyse your symptoms.
History.
We are not and should not be privy to your medical and life history.

We can, however, provide advice for dealing with some matters day to day and/or insights into our own experiences as a system up to a point if you so wish.

[my apologies for the re-send, I am particular about the preservation of intended formatting in my messages]

[maiden plover]

I agree with this, we can definately provide advice, personal experience and insight as to how to deal with certain symptoms or issues but we can't stand in for professionals or tell you what your symptoms do or don't point to

[wind shell]

I had a good point to add but it just got yoinked from me…

sigh
Oh well

Our apologies, Nova.

It’s all good, just part of this disorder, getting my memories stolen all the time

[maiden plover]

To be fair, I think forgetting what you're going to say or are saying is just part of the human experience lol

[wind shell]

Yeah 😂

It’s more I know what i was gonna say but the facts got stolen

Ah, understandable.

[hybrid skiff]

Btw are you a system? You don’t have the alters role?

[limpid siren]

Obviously not a professional but here are my thoughts: Do your research, there are a lot of disorders out there that can cause similr symptoms, I have a PDF copy of the Haunted Self (A book about structural dissociation if your interested). If at all possible get to a therapist or psychiatrist, I realize this isnt accessible for some people as its not for us either.

When it comes to alters- the point of this disorder is to hide itself so you dont realize it and it keeps you safe. Alters can not feel distinct for a few reasons, maybe your just now noticing them so you just no the basic details and amnesia walls are still up or you have something like OSDD- 1a where the personalities arnt that different

Regarding switching, there is no such thing as "properly switching." My system tends to have pretty quick switches, but it can also take us hours to days to fully switch if the switches are blurry. When it comes to feeling like you're always co-con, that may be the case, or what I've found best explains it for me is "a stream of consciousness." Sometimes I actually am co-con other times i'll just remember what happened but its like I didnt do it or there are chunks of the memory missing. I've been told that i've done and or said stuff and have no recollection of doing it.

Hope this helps a little bit

[weak basin]

GG @limpid siren, you just advanced to level 24!

[wind shell]

Regarding the switching thing I feel like what they're explaining is kinda like what we experienced early on. It kinda felt like when alter would front they had like one foot in the door and they were there but it almost felt like the host was forcing that alter to front and slightly acting like them and blending with them which made it feel like they weren't "properly fronting" but obviously now we've learnt more and know not to try to force alters to front and its been way better especially with therapy

Embers (No @'s) ☆ ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) Obviously not a professional but here are my thoughts: Do your research, there are a lot of disorder…

[rose oxide]

we cant force people to front,, i dont have that power. but i have the power to have 5 sources at once, maybe more (im so cool guys)

[digital abyss]

giggling

took us years to gain semi control of triggering ppl to front

and its 50/50

often its cause of music

[rose oxide]

there was this one introject that got very positive triggered by miku and would come to front only to go "HATSUNE MIKU?!??!" and then obsess over hatsune miku for a few minutes then leave, this worked for about a month. we dont even like vocaloid

[digital abyss]

oh my god 😭😭😭

most times ppl are able to front trigger me by just talking about me

i have an ego

[rose oxide]

real

[digital abyss]

we also write down our front triggers

[rose oxide]

im pretty sure im a subsys, and like very disconnected from the main sys most of the time, until i can miraculously accidentally trigger out someone (usually introjects) or get passive influence

im just alone most of the time

[digital abyss]

nods

its common for us to only have one fronter, or two

[rose oxide]

most of my subsys are like fragment parts?? that are my emotions, im not good with my emotions

[digital abyss]

its jst been me 🙏

[rose oxide]

and then possibly one or two other alters? im not quite sure

ive been front stuck/locked for like at least a year,, possibly longer. i sometimes spiral over it (do not recommend)

this is too confusing for me to try and actively figure out whats going on for more than a day

[digital abyss]

real

we switch a LOT

so we have to set up in depth notes bc of memory loss

[rose oxide]

ive been having more memory problems recently, bbut idk if its switching or just dissociation

[digital abyss]

however im not very good at helping with it

[rose oxide]

i personally really like organizing stuff, so once i can figure out whats going on and get more alters put on sp, i will organize everything,, and then probably forget about sp for like 2 months

[hybrid skiff]

pfft yeah

[rose oxide]

and i will not do anyones profiles other than myself/my subsys 😭

[hybrid skiff]

Also trauma itself can cause dissociation and/memory loss too but whatever you feel is your situation (from what everyone has said) just talk to a professional and such ^^

[hybrid skiff]

pfft nice

We are slowly fixing our sp, one fronter at a time b/c they need to be here to update their information buttt they are not

[rose oxide]

"i love being super organized and organizing things" i says. i then realize my brain/thoughts are too disorganized for me to speak and sometimes type properly

[hybrid skiff]

canon event I fear

[rose oxide]

i used to be so good and fast at typing

[weak basin]

GG @rose oxide, you just advanced to level 6!

[digital abyss]

im just lazy

[rose oxide]

i have a love-hate relationship with my neurodivergence

i love my special interests and being super smart in certain subjects!! i hate basically all of the other symptoms

[wind shell]

It took us around 3-5 months to organize our whole sp all 300+ alter profiles done and all and then we haven't even started with the groups- we're taking a couple month break though from that 😭

[rose oxide]

we got like 150 alters on sp, and then gave up cause of whatever is going on with us 😭 (we think the system shut down or smth)

[limpid siren]

Our sp isnt as bad as notion- I say that full well knowing there are currently profiles that go un-touched because said alter is just in refusal to do anything system wise when they front 😭

[wind shell]

Reasently had to add and change some of our sp. Took a long time

[digital abyss]

solid 43 thats been a pain

[hybrid skiff]

I 100% agree pfft, I love all my silly interests but than I don’t like the non silly symptoms :(

Oh yeah I bet its hard having over like 100 on SP 😭 Keep track of 40 is enough

“Oh [name] fronted yesterday”
“Sorry who?” -Us

[wind shell]

We’re at 78, relatively organised and cba to do more

[rose oxide]

we dont even use sp anymore, we completely gave up after adding a bunch of profiles and getting pfps on them

[wind shell]

Oh yeah our sp is shit, our octo is decent though

[rose oxide]

we dont have octocon, we kinda hated the numbering, cause it would go out of order if we deleted a profile

[wind shell]

Yeah

I completely understand why Atlas (developer) opted to do it that way. But it still throws us off

[rose oxide]

we tend to add and delete profiles when we spiral, i understand how the numbering is done for like archiving profiles, but id prefer if it wouldnt completely skip numbers after deleting one

[wind shell]

Yeah

At least if you set up an alias the number isn’t visible + you can sort it alphabetically

[rose oxide]

yeah, im pretty sure theres an option to turn off the numbers or something like that

[wind shell]

Yeah

[rose oxide]

it still bothers me in the back of my head, cause i know its messed up though 😭

[wind shell]

Yeah

Fair enough

[digital abyss]

we hated the numbering system as well -- esp when it gets confusin with ppl who have number names in our sys

[maiden plover]

Yes I do have parts but I prefer not to advertise it on roles or in bios, I also don't like the terms alters and don't like using labels on myself that say I have alters

[hybrid skiff]

Fair enough, just was like “why is there a non-system talkin about it” Ur all good nws

[wind shell]

Sometimes we see the alter but according to the system journal we get pain symptoms from alters more when they front or are close to front. We normally read what they are when we feel pain to identify who may be fronting or trying to front. We can't always do that depending on the situation and lv of memory issues which at times makes us forget we have a journal

[hybrid skiff]

Understandable yeah

[polar ridge]

Is it okay for me to be in this chat if im like getting tested for osdd? Or is this only for diagnosed peeps

[wind shell]

Yep everybody is welcome here

🌻Rayen🌻 ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) Is it okay for me to be in this chat if im like getting tested for osdd? Or is this only for diagnos…

[polar ridge]

Good to know ty for telling me

[wind shell]

Np :)

[rose oxide]

we arent diagnosed yet, we're in the process of finding a psychologist actually

[pulsar wren]

We’re not diagnosed and aren’t in the process ( not in a good situation for it ) and we still chat here

[maiden plover]

I'd say it's fine but I think it's important to disclose that you don't have a diagnosis if you're providing information from your own experience

I'm diagnosed with a dissociative disorder but before I was diagnosed I always just let people know if I gave them advice that I am not diagnosed and this is just based on my own experience of symptoms that I percieve to be related to a possible dissociative disorder

[digital abyss]

we are not diagnosed and do not want to be since it will prohibit us from doing things we would be able to do prior to the diagnosis. similar to autism.

[rose oxide]

thats how we feel too

we wanna get help, but arent sure about diagnosis

[digital abyss]

we have a did therapist and thats all we care rn

[pulsar wren]

Fair

We can’t even get a DID therapist personally. Genuinely, people will sooner believe we’re possessed than believe we have DID

[digital abyss]

we jst found her and say its "working on trauma" (it technically is)

[pulsar wren]

Fair but our local hospitals don’t have the same rules about doctor-patient confidentiality as American ones do so we’re not currently eligible for it so we can’t exactly keep anything from our very unaccepting guardians about it

[digital abyss]

ohh that makes sense too -- we're bodily an adult anyways (19)

[pulsar wren]

Lucky

[maiden plover]

Sorry I didn't mean to ping you, I forget that replying auto pings

[digital abyss]

waitin til the yellow goes off my screen to continue

[pulsar wren]

I think it’s off

[maiden plover]

I just deleted it

[digital abyss]

oki tyty

[maiden plover]

What would it prohibit?/genq (I think that shouldn't ping you, I said no ping)

[digital abyss]

had a shit tonna seizures today so i aint takin no chances

[pulsar wren]

Makes sense

[digital abyss]

jobs, careers, academics, friend making, etc. and with the state of the US... probably my rights..

[maiden plover]

I mean with most of that, it'd only affect you to have a diagnosis if they were aware of it. Jobs, Careers, academica and friend making aren't able to access medical records like that

[digital abyss]

It's also mostly out if personal comfort.

And trauma.

Shit ton of trauma and paranoia if anything

dont need it in the papers to not recieve treatment

so i dont wanna spend the money on the diagnosis

[rose oxide]

thats so real, it can take so long to find someone for a diagnosis, and it can cost a lot 😭

[digital abyss]

bonus points last time i got evaluated for autism they reffered me to an empath group !! neurologists and suck my dick.

[maiden plover]

That's fair, I mean I'm obviously nto trying to force you or anything like that lol, you do you but I do often hear the argument that being diagnosed would make it harder to do stuff like that and I never really understood it since diagnosis is very confidential, most of my doctors don't even know I have a diagnosis unless I tell them though that may be different in Australia vs USA. I get the issue of trauma and personal preference though obviously

[digital abyss]

Very much different for the US. Currently trying to ban adderall and taking autistic people's rights. I'm scares shitless my meds will be banned.

[pulsar wren]

Actually when you apply for a lot of things they ask for your medical records. Recently had to send them over to my uni

[maiden plover]

I'm talking about DID and other similar mental disorders

[digital abyss]

This too. It's the US. They want everything.

[maiden plover]

TO be honest, adderall is banned in Australia, it isn't prescribed for ADHD

[digital abyss]

My point still stands mate. I'm not taking any chances for my safety

[maiden plover]

so honestly I don't see and issue with banning it as long as they provide adequate replacement like ritalin and vyvanse

which is what we have available here

[digital abyss]

Please just. Listen to me. Our rights are being taken. I am fearful for my life. Not just adderall but additionally any psychiatric medicine. Autistic people who are diagnosed are being denied public access. They're trying to remove my right to vote. Just listen.

[maiden plover]

No I know? I'm not saying your point was invalid, you just gave examples of autism and ADHD in the USA and I wanted to make it clear I was talking about DID and other similar mental disorders

[wind shell]

Thank god it gave our host husband ||ed|| till he got off it. Also ignore i keep changing pk one name I go by starts with S so I keep summoning another pk 😅

MattMatee (He/Xim) ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) TO be honest, adderall is banned in Australia, it isn't prescribed for ADHD

[digital abyss]

My point is that because of the state of how all mental health and neurodivergent people are being treated, it's a genuine concern. Point blank.

[pulsar wren]

^^^

[maiden plover]

I'm not arguing for what it happening in the USA? I'm just saying that banning certain drugs is not always bad. I was making a broader point.

[digital abyss]

On me talking about my rights being taken is nawt the time, I took it as arguing because of that--

[maiden plover]

Yes, I said a while ago that I understood that and agreed

[pulsar wren]

Then what is this conversation about???

I’m so confused

[digital abyss]

Exactly

[maiden plover]

It's okay, my fault for not making myself clear enough. I struggle to make my messages clear sometimes.

[maiden plover]

It started off as discussing diagnosis and reasons for not being diagnosed

[pulsar wren]

Then ya’ll were arguing about Adderall apparently

And now we’re on about nothing

My brain cannot with this, I’m gonna go make some instant noodles

[maiden plover]

and we were discussing the different reasons, one reason brought up was the fact that adderall was being banned as an example of rights being stripped away and I said that I actually get adderall (I should have elaborated that I got it if it was happening in a vacuum) being banned since it isn't prescribed for ADHD in a lot of countries including my own (I should have further elaborated, since there is a lack of evidence it benefits people more than other ADHD medication)

I think that was misunderstood because of my lack of elaboration that I was saying that the stuff happening in the USA in general was good and beneficial which I of course, disagree with

[digital abyss]

nods

i think i took it that way too

mb ✌️

its been a day to say the least -- not a vent just why im
mush lol

[maiden plover]

It's okay, just misinterpretation, it happens, as long as people are willing to explain and understand it's not the end of the world. I'm glad you explained to me how you took it so I could better understand what was being misunderstood and how to elaborate and where I went wrong with my message!

[weak basin]

GG @maiden plover, you just advanced to level 4!

[wind shell]

Grr me and that S button gonna have beef tonight lol anyways To add to this. We feel the same way about our host identity meds and there autism as well, we also worry about our host identity mother because she is on one of the meds our host identity is on. God the night med if it gets taken away then our host identity schitzoeffective disorder will get super bad. Our therapist said just last week only way to reduce hallucinations is taking it every night before bed

@s off｜TOOTHVOiD — ?¿ ⋆ . ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) Very much different for the US. Currently trying to ban adderall and taking autistic people's rights…

[pulsar wren]

Finished making the noodles

[pulsar wren]

Fair

[digital abyss]

ofc i dont wanna start fights w no one

[wind shell]

Stressing out and a lot of alters are getting a bit loud,,

[rose oxide]

are you alr?

[wind shell]

Yeahh

[hot rock]

@maiden plover I’m just interested if I read your message correctly, when reading it as “taking away some of the ADHD medication doesn’t matter since there are other options”. /nm

[maiden plover]

No you've misread it or I didn't clarify well. Basically, what I was told when I started ADHD medication when I asked why Adderall wasn't available in Australia (The country where I live) was that because there was a lack of evidence that Adderall is more or equally as beneficial to people with ADHD than other ADHD stimulant medication like Ritalin or Vyvanse it isn't green lit in a lot of countries. On that basis, I understand if Adderall were to be removed from the US consumer since other countries with stricter regulations have already taken a stance against Adderall at least for now whilst more testing an evidence comes out

it isn't BECAUSE there are other options, it's becuase those other options are better and have better evidence to prove that they are more effective and beneficial than adderall, plus adderall also has higher abuse potential and is not a pure drug compared to Ritalin (Methylphenidate), and vyvanse (Lisdexamfetamine), it is a mix of both dextroamphetamine and levoamphetamine and as a result is less potent per milligram than the other two

Having more medications available on the market is not always a good thing if those medications don't actually benefit the consumer

[hot rock]

Alright thanks for clarifying.

[pulsar wren]

Y’all, last year our official on paper alter count was 9, guess what it is now

( hint: very much not 9 )

[midnight drift]

Previously thought I was a system of 6 and that there might be some undescovered alters but not many

Yeah I have no idea how many there are but we're at 50+ if you include fragments

[maiden plover]

why do you think that is? It's worrying if you've grown so much because it means that the brain has had to seek more parts to cope with trauma or stress

[pulsar wren]

Oh, most of them were existing from our childhood or like before last year, we have a lot of those apparently. We’ve only had a handful of new splits

( we only really split in big situations like when someone tried sleep deprivation on us, it’s fine though, we’re fine now )

[maiden plover]

ah okay, yeah, I mean I remember when I was very unstable, parts were constantly splitting into other parts. Some parts would merge into each other just to have them split back out again. It was awful, disorientating and caused a LOT of negative symptoms

I was a nightmare to deal with. Nowdays I'm way far from healed, it's still really difficult but it's not as intense which is nice

[pulsar wren]

Makes sense

[unique jolt]

We've learned of a lot of alters and fragments over the last few years since discovery but that's only because we haven't remembered all of the trauma we went through and only now are getting to the super deep stuff that really drives how we function. I think our count is above 200+ if you include the fragments that we know about who actively front

[pulsar wren]

Ours is 30, I think

Which isn’t a lot but I genuinely can’t believe we thought it was 9 at some point

[unique jolt]

I feel that, we started at 11, when we only realised out "Minor" traumas, the more we remembered, the more there were

[pulsar wren]

Makes sense

[rose oxide]

i genuinely don't know how many parts we have, because of whatever shut down or other complex things we're dealing with. i do know im probably a subsys and that we have other subsystems and are probably way more complex than we originally thought 😭

[pulsar wren]

Mood

It’s basically a sys right of passage to just discover that there’s a section of alters you just didn’t know about /j /lh

[rose oxide]

I can never tell if my migraines are just regular migraines (we have chronic migraines) or if they're from something going on with my system internally

[stable sapphire]

\ We have 300+ known, 400+ total, way more with fragments. The majority are from childhood but due to our mental health declining last yea and digging up trauma to get rid of denial we re traumatised ourself- 😭. We're in therapy now and medically recognised and trying to minimise splitting which we've done a lot thank god

[rose oxide]

we spiral often, for many reasons, i dont even want to make a guess on how many parts we have in total, but we have 150+ in just introjects that have fronted or ive gotten passive influence from over the past few years

[wind shell]

We definitely have a lot more alters but there are some alters in this system who very much know how many but love just letting us run around like headless chickens trying to figure it out

Speaking of knowing how many, I need to make a note about a few alters

be right back

[rose oxide]

being a constantly stressed autistic teen makes things so much more confusing, we split and form introjects easily 😭

[wind shell]

note made, I’m back

being constantly stressed is a factor for forming alters, yea

relatable

[maiden plover]

Is there anyone here with a small parts/alter count?

like under 20?

I have 18 I think though I don't really count so give or take

[rose oxide]

one of our friends does

they arent in this server

actually, 2 of our friends

[pulsar wren]

I think someone here has 4???

I might be misremembering

[rose oxide]

crimso,, i think theyre here, has a small alter count afaik

[maiden plover]

If I'm being entirely honest it sometimes feels impossible to find people in chats for people with parts that have a smaller amount of parts, I don't really know why.

[rose oxide]

we had a friend with only 2 alters once,,

[weak basin]

GG @rose oxide, you just advanced to level 7!

[rose oxide]

idk if i still have their discord or not

[pulsar wren]

I’ve never been close with anyone who had less than 12

As far as I know

[pulsar wren]

2 including them???

I know it’s possible but I’ve literally never met anyone with only them and one other alter

I think we weirdly just tend to hang around people with higher counts

[rose oxide]

yes

they were questioning more, but at the time we talked they had 2

[wind shell]

I know someone with 3-4 including them but they’re not in this server.

[pulsar wren]

I envy those with lower alter counts because I swear to god Wren’s given me the key to a Pandora’s box and I’m afraid if I open it then it’ll double the official count ( bro said ‘note’ and then gave me the most brain shattering information )

[rose oxide]

real

we have random notes on our notes app that i refuse to open

[pulsar wren]

I’ve looked at the note but I ain’t acknowledging that

[rose oxide]

lol

i think our notes are probably just added on stuff to previous notes, or just random t hings we want to remember for future reference

i need to reorganize our notes

[pulsar wren]

Our notes are mostly like that except if you exist as part of The Archival Team. All notes pertaining to The Archival Team are “hey, I think I discovered a subsystem” “you know that one guy? he wants a name change” “there’ve been odd writings left around; investigation needed”

[rose oxide]

😭

[pulsar wren]

Basically, we deal with investigating, cataloguing, and organising the system and it’s information

[rose oxide]

i just rechecked our notes after like months of not checking them, and theyre already organized </3

wow my typing was so great just then

[pulsar wren]

It seemed fine to me

[rose oxide]

i misspelled "(re)check(ed)" both times and also "not"

i just fixed it fast

[pulsar wren]

Oh, I didn’t notice

[rose oxide]

i think i also mistyped "months"

idk

[wind shell]

Oh yeah no, we do too
But we fear fusing down a bit due to not wanting to remember the shit

ArsonCrows [☀🪶] ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) I envy those with lower alter counts because I swear to god Wren’s given me the key to a Pandora’s b…

[rose oxide]

i envy people who actually know anything about their systems, because i dont know very much of anything, so sometimes i feel alone and/or like im "falling behind" my friends 😭

[wind shell]

We know name + prns for most but that’s about it

[rose oxide]

we have a bunch of introjects on sp, added by previous hosts, but i dont realy know anything other than what ive experienced

[wind shell]

Yeah

[rose oxide]

theres some non-introjects on there too,, but yeah

[wind shell]

I can’t actually see much rn about what we know as my internet has decided to go 🐌

49 out of 78 of us are brainmade

[pulsar wren]

We know quite a bit about ours but that’s mostly due to Archival Team efforts ( i.e. we literally have alters dedicated to the task of “figure as much about this system as possible” )

[wind shell]

Step 1 to that method:
have parts that actually communicate with you (/silly)

[rose oxide]

i wish we had that, but ive only recently started having more system activity when i try to ignore it and not look into things a lot

[wind shell]

We don’t know shit because we can’t communicate properly most of the time

[pulsar wren]

Fairr

[wind shell]

Yeahhhh that’s how it goes sometimes

★ tweek [hypernova] ★ ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) i wish we had that, but ive only recently started having more system activity when i try to ignore i…

[rose oxide]

i literally had like a mini panic attack over not remembering that i folded my socks 😭

thats how i noticed

[wind shell]

folding socks…?

[rose oxide]

yeah like putting them together and folding the top over so they stick together in pairs??

[wind shell]

You don’t like put the socks in each other?

[pulsar wren]

We had to actively create both The Archival Team and The Council for the sake of some order in our proverbial clusterfuck, it’s not a thing that just happened. It’s active effort from trying to up communication and cooperation within the system, and also some modicum of democracy ( The Council is like an irl parliament )

[rose oxide]

i dont know enough alters, or really any, that have access to headspace and info to be able to figure out how to do that

cause im stuck in my subsystem, with fragments

[wind shell]

Headspace is something you can create and visualise if it isn’t already there 🙂

[rose oxide]

we already have a headspace

i just cant leave frontspace

[wind shell]

Ok

[pulsar wren]

I think it’s a thing some people have to have therapy to do

[rose oxide]

but i can see/feel headspace

[wind shell]

Yeah either therapy or a very safe space

ArsonCrows [☀🪶] ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) I think it’s a thing some people have to have therapy to do

[rose oxide]

well im in neither of those yet, so its extremely hard to do anything other than theorize what caused basically my entire system to shut down

and figure out what this suspicious activity is

[maiden plover]

Sorry I don't think that's appropriate to say that you "envy" people with lower alter counts

[wind shell]

Yeah, which is fair enough, it’s extremely hard to figure shit out system wise if you’re still going through trauma shit

★ tweek [hypernova] ★ ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) well im in neither of those yet, so its extremely hard to do anything other than theorize what cause…

[pulsar wren]

Our space isn’t safe at all ( One of our guardians keeps trying to torture us for some reason??? Is sleep deprivation a torture? Idk. Google says so. Also, I think they’re trying to give us mercury poisoning again ) we’ve just like committed a miracle. We’re very aware it’s not a common thing

[wind shell]

Lmao

But yeah

(Lmao to the miracle part not the rest)

[pulsar wren]

Fair, sorry about that

[rose oxide]

it was hard enough to convince my parents to let me stay at my grandmas without begging me every few months to come back home. which im glad i can stay here, but id like to be able to be in a truly safe space

[pulsar wren]

Eh, I laughed at that response either way

[maiden plover]

It's okay

[wind shell]

Yeah. Good that you’re not with them though.

★ tweek [hypernova] ★ ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) it was hard enough to convince my parents to let me stay at my grandmas without begging me every few…

[pulsar wren]

This ^

[rose oxide]

yeah

[wind shell]

You’ve just got to take it one step at a time unfortunately.

[rose oxide]

sometimes i feel like im trying to be pulled out of front, but then like something is stopping me from being able to leave, and its so weird and gives me a headache 😭

i trying to figure that out, with a trusted friend

[wind shell]

Yeah

[pulsar wren]

Makes sense

[rose oxide]

spins around

[wind shell]

My car just flipped over as you said that 😂

Cat. Not car.

[rose oxide]

cat

[pulsar wren]

I’m now imagining a cat car flipping over

[weak basin]

GG @pulsar wren, you just advanced to level 29!

[wind shell]

Oop

[pulsar wren]

That was a gif

I was trying to send a gif

[wind shell]

Bad gif

[pulsar wren]

It was a cat gif :(

Ha!

[wind shell]

NOOOOO

[midnight drift]

Not the gif itself - only certain places are open for everyone to send links

[pulsar wren]

A gif is a link?

[wind shell]

Ahhh okie

[midnight drift]

https://tenor.com/view/aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-getoutofmyhead-cat-gif-24215722

[wind shell]

Yes

ArsonCrows [☀🪶] ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) A gif is a link?

[midnight drift]

Was this gif, yes?

[pulsar wren]

Oh, darn

[midnight drift]

Yes gifs on discord run via Tenor which is a secondary company - you're actually linking via that website

[pulsar wren]

Ohh

So a gif is a glorified imbed?

[midnight drift]

Yes - if you right clip you can select "remove embed" and it will just keep the link

[pulsar wren]

Imbed? Embed? You get what I mean

[pulsar wren]

Huh

Cool

[midnight drift]

I do lol

You're spot on that's exactly what it is

Sorry to interrupt, just wanted to help/g

[pulsar wren]

You’re not interrupting

[midnight drift]

For future reference you can send them in #📷pics-and-videos and then link to the message

[pulsar wren]

Nice

[wind shell]

It is done via an embedded link or smth

My internet went out sorry lol, these messages come straight after this one

Nova || It/They 🪽🧮 ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) Yes 📎

Nah you’re good

My internet decided to die anyway so

Okie

My internet is definitely not working fuckkk

[pulsar wren]

Internet’s sad :(

[wind shell]

Yeah

It’s a recurring problem with the DNS.

Anyhow

I have some signal until my dad can fix it

[pulsar wren]

Cats!!!

[wind shell]

Yes!

[maiden plover]

I like cats

my cat hurt her leg today and she's been limping ever since:/

[wind shell]

The cardboard box in the background is a “cat cafe”
Aka the food for the grey cat and his brother is in there so the torti can’t steal it

Aw no
Are you gonna take her to a vet?

MattMatee (He/Xim) ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) my cat hurt her leg today and she's been limping ever since:/

[maiden plover]

This is her sitting on me bed!

ID/ A black and white tuxedo cat sitting in a green doona /End ID

[wind shell]

Awww

[rose oxide]

does anyone wanna see my fursona

[maiden plover]

Probably not unless it continues. It's happened before and it healed on her own but if it continues and doesn't seem to get better than definitely

[wind shell]

Sureee

Yeah, if she’s showing further signs of pain get her to a vet asap though - cats don’t normally show pain

MattMatee (He/Xim) ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) Probably not unless it continues. It's happened before and it healed on her own but if it continues …

[pulsar wren]

YES

[rose oxide]

he doesnt have any bright colors, but idk if he has anything else that i would need to spoiler him for

[maiden plover]

I know how cats work and what is best for my cat. I care about her a lot. She sometimes gets into cat fights which I predict is probably which she limping like this now. Like I said before, she's healed from something similar to this before so she's likely going to heal from this but we're keeping an eye on it and will act accordingly

[wind shell]

Yeah fair enough

Sorry. Just trying to help.

[maiden plover]

I know, why are you apologising?/genq

[rose oxide]

he is canonically semiverbal. he is also supposed to be a clown sparkledog :3

im very proud of this drawing

[pulsar wren]

That’s so cool

[rose oxide]

his pastels are based on cotton candy

[maiden plover]

I like the purples. You've done well with the colour scheme and with creating a unique character design.

[rose oxide]

yippee

[maiden plover]

Are you non-verbal?

[rose oxide]

the color scheme was inspired by a scenemo?? hairstyle i wanna do but i muted the purples

[rose oxide]

mostly semi-verbal, we dont talk a whole lot cause we stutter a lot due to disorganized thoughts and stuff

[maiden plover]

May I provide some constructive critisism? You are free to say no.

[rose oxide]

sure

[maiden plover]

I thought a fursona was meant to be yourself as a furry? Why have you made him non-verbal? Have I misunderstood how they work?

[maiden plover]

I like the colours, especially the purple, however with the tail specifically I think the colours are a bit too busy. Blurring them together could help or simplifying the amount of colours however you do not need to take my advice if you already like it. It is your character.

[rose oxide]

we plan to be fully nonverbal in the future, as self-accommodation, and use asl and communciation cards. but we are forced to speak to our family right now

[maiden plover]

The purple and the gold create a very beautiful contrast against each other

[maiden plover]

You can choose to be non-verbal?

[rose oxide]

i didnt know how to draw the tail how i want to get it as a fursuit,,

[rose oxide]

🤷

[maiden plover]

Oh yes that is understandable. Real life to drawing in a specific art style can sometimes be difficult to portray.

[pulsar wren]

You can choose not to talk

[rose oxide]

we barely talk as it is, we just need to make cards and learn asl to be able to actually communicate with people other than text

[pulsar wren]

We’re semiverbal, we can talk but it ain’t gonna work proper, in our case that means we just don’t try cause it’s way too hard

[rose oxide]

speaking is hard and energy consuming 😭

[pulsar wren]

Exactly!

[wind shell]

Axel- Yeah

[pulsar wren]

And the result is just not worth the effort

Half the time my mouth is spewing nonsense and my brain is screaming about it

[rose oxide]

we recently started having more issues with disorganized thoughts (i think we skill regressed?), which makes it even harder to speak and also type, we sstutter and are very shaky, along with tics just makes things too complicated

[pulsar wren]

True. That’s why we use AAC. AAC; the universe’s solution to unreliable speech

[wind shell]

We can talk pretty decently just stammer sometimes. It’s annoying but it’s not bad enough to warrant any help or anything.

[rose oxide]

i need to ask my friend which app they use- and then once i can get a laminator thing ill make communication cards, and i need to g et myself to fixated on learning asl

[wind shell]

yep speaking is very energy consuming as a person is forced to speak at college and around family even tho ive got communication cards and use BSL sometimes, most of my family doesnt really support or understand BSL and when i used commuication cards w my family theve been judgemental some of the time and then at college most of the people are supportive but i still feel the need to force myself to speak

[pulsar wren]

We used to have cards but we lost them

[rose oxide]

we know a bit, cause we used to practice, cause we have a friend irl whos deaf, but they live in a diff state to we stopped practcing as much

and asl can be very stimmy, so it works :d

i love sign languages

[wind shell]

same

[maiden plover]

But being non-verbal is much more than choosing not to speak.

[pulsar wren]

Yea, I was just trying to figure what Tweek was talking about

[rose oxide]

i dont know what else to call it, other than self-accommodating myself to be mute or nonverbal

[pulsar wren]

You seem semiverbal like us from what I’ve heard of what you’ve said but there’s a lot of terms

[rose oxide]

yeah, we already use semiverbal, but what do i call it once i just stop talking, is it still semiverbal?

[wind shell]

Yes because you can but you choose not to is what I’d assume

[maiden plover]

I'm not critising you. I don't know what it'd be called either. You could ask people in the non-verbal community if you'd like, I'm sure they'd appreciate it. You may still be considered semi-verbal regardless if you speak or not but I am unsure.

[pulsar wren]

I mean, I think so, we’ve stopped really talking but we’re still semiverbal cause we technically can

[rose oxide]

alright

[pulsar wren]

Idk, verbality is complicated

[rose oxide]

yeah

idk anyone in the nonverbal community

[maiden plover]

I know some

[pulsar wren]

Same here

[maiden plover]

there are many account on tumblr who share their experiences as well and talk about what it means to be non-verbal.

If you want to learn about the social aspect.

[pulsar wren]

( the social aspects are mostly dealing with people’s ableism )

[rose oxide]

i just assumed i could just use nonverbal, since i wouldnt be really verbally speaking at all- i guess since we have verbal tics itd still be semiverbal though, though they arent like words/phrases a lot, unless echolalia kicks in

this is all confusing 😭

[pulsar wren]

Nonverbal means can’t talk not doesn’t talk. There’s a distinction

[rose oxide]

oh yeah

blehh

[pulsar wren]

The distinction is what allows for things like fluctuating verbality or choice verbality

[rose oxide]

i dont know all the different terms, i dont interact with very many online communities

thanks for the info

[pulsar wren]

I have a list if you want it

[rose oxide]

sure

i just realized i was probably mixing up nonspeaking and nonverbal,, cause isnt nonspeaking like the choice/fluctuating term? idk

[maiden plover]

I'm talking about the community social aspect.

The non-verbal community.

[maiden plover]

Well there's still fluidity in that too, some non-verbal people can say a few words or only respond with the words that someone just said like with echolalia

it's less cut and dry than "Can't speak at all with 0 words" though many non-verbal people can't speak at all

[weak basin]

GG @maiden plover, you just advanced to level 5!

[maiden plover]

non-speaking is a different term for non-verbal

for what I know

[rose oxide]

i changed the thing

[maiden plover]

but again, don't ask us, we aren't part of the non-verbal community, these questions should be directed to people who are non-verbal

[rose oxide]

yeah

[maiden plover]

I mean the important thing is that you're willing to listen and learn though, many people don't even want to do that.

[rose oxide]

i dont want to accidentally be offensive 😭

[weak basin]

GG @rose oxide, you just advanced to level 8!

[maiden plover]

Yes, we can't know everything though unfortunately so don't beat yourself up if you make mistakes. I didn't know the m slur for little people was a slur and I said it before knowing that it was. The important thing is that I learnt and stopped saying it when I found out it was wrong

[rose oxide]

yeah

[maiden plover]

Goodnight. It's 10:40pm, I must sleep.

[rose oxide]

i didnt sleep last night,, its 7:40am 😭

[pulsar wren]

Common Terms:
Verbal/Speaking — can speak, no problems, ( except verbal shutdowns )
Semiverbal/Semispeaking — has difficultly with speech which can range in effect even to the point of non-understandable speech
Nonverbal/Nonspeaking — can’t talk or can talk very little, typically cannot communicate needs or wants verbally
—
Less Common Terms:
Minimally Verbal/Minimally Speaking — this is sometimes used medically to categorise those who can speak fewer than 50 words, this is not commonly used nor is it really used community wise, a lot of the time you’d typically just refer to these people as nonverbal and is what Matt was talking about
Limited Verbal — similar a lot with minimally verbal but used medically for those who seem to fit the minimally verbal category but don’t fit the strict defintion
—
Community terms:
Demiverbal — has mild difficultly speaking but can speak reliably most of the time
Verbalflux — ability to speak fluctuates and doesn’t really fit into any strict category
Choiceverbal — can speak but won’t for whatever reason, not to be confused with those who are selectively mute as it’s not a choice in that case
Hyperverbal — those who speak a lot and typically have no problems speaking; they may speak very fast, in an advanced vocabulary, interrupt others in conversations, or things of that nature

[rose oxide]

we have selective mutism, and verbal shutdowns a lot- ill just keep using semiverbal

[maiden plover]

If you want a different label to semi-verbal, choice verbal could also be a label you use if you choose to entirely stop speaking

[rose oxide]

i prefer how semiverbal sounds tbh

[maiden plover]

That's understandable, it's all about using labels that feel right to you and are accurate

so if you feel more comfortable using semi-verbal than you should feel free to use that

[rose oxide]

i can just explain to people that i choose not to speak unless its necessary,, like in emergencies

[pulsar wren]

Fair

We’d technically be hyperverbal if we didn’t have speech impediments or processing issues ( rambling is my second favourite hobby aside from art ) but because have speech impediments and processing issues we don’t fall into that category

[rose oxide]

i just hope people will be able to be respectful when we cant speak well tho

if im yapping about my special interests or hyperfixations, i can type pretty fast (but my spelling will not be the best), and my thoughts are slightly less disorganized

[pulsar wren]

Yea, we love text rambles

[rose oxide]

i just try my best to get my point across, and then ill fix my errors after i get my thoughts written down so i dont lose them 😭

[pulsar wren]

Sometimes I don’t want to get my point across

I just want the thoughts out my brain

[rose oxide]

real

i either talk here, my friends server, or im modding a game or playing with random friends where i dont talk much

so the only times i really need to type accurately are like modding

[maiden plover]

I understand that, i struggle with words

[pulsar wren]

Fr. Too many thoughts, head full, need to dump them on my friends

[rose oxide]

i know i wont be judged here for mistyping things, but ill still go back and edit it after i say what im trying to

[maiden plover]

It feels like this

ID/ A comic discussing how hard it is to put thoughts into words. The first panel is of a person looking up at a complex shape colours implied to be their thoughts and smiling. The text under reads "My big, complex, multidimensional thoughts". In the second panel the person is looking down and seems to be struggling, the complex shape of colours if gone and is in a very small, less complex and simpler speech bubble comoing out of the person's mouth, implying that they are trying to speak their thoughts. The text underneath says "When I try to put it into words", implying that it is small and difficult to properly express how complex their thoughts are verbally /End ID

[pulsar wren]

I feel like this

It comes out all wrong

[rose oxide]

when i cant (thought -> words) i just verbal stim, which typically is a scream

[pulsar wren]

When I can’t thoughts to words it’s just frustrating because I’ve never really met other people who’s words come out the same way mine do

It’s just not the same word at all

[rose oxide]

i usually have to repeat myself a lot because of stuttering, which i really hate, i also hate the way i pronounce some words, and i dont always like my voice

[pulsar wren]

When I try to repeat myself it’s just a different wrong word

[rose oxide]

and then i make cat or dog sounds for fun

i like trying to replicate purring, idk why

words arent wording? make animal sounds

[pulsar wren]

I can’t really even get across simple stuff cause if I try to say for example “do you know where my book is?” It ends to up coming across as “umm… where’s my look? Took? Paper thing. Words.” ( add the fact half those things are mispronounced )
In terms of verbal stims, I like chirping, chirping’s cool, also I’ve figured out how to make a click noise and that’s really nice

[rose oxide]

yeah

i cen never remember the words i want to remember when i want to remember them

[pulsar wren]

I know the words but they won’t come out of my mouth

[rose oxide]

i dont like words

[pulsar wren]

Yea, words are mean

[rose oxide]

all of words and wording is hard and i dont like it

[pulsar wren]

Me too

You wanna see my aac boards? I’m working on revamping them in a grid format for tablet so I only have 2 done but they’re really cool

[rose oxide]

sure

[rose oxide]

we want to get an ipad for aac, and for drawing, cause we wanna get proccreate, we like d rawing on procreate

our old ipad broke completely, like the button caved in and the screen is cracked, its unusable. and then when we got it fixed the button broke again, andf the screen cracked again

[wind shell]

picrew is giving me so many ads today

i just want to update pfps that have needed updating for months

[rose oxide]

we also wanna do art commissions in the future :3

[wind shell]

also aac and nonverbal/semiverbal talk should probably go in another forum (you can make one if there’s not one already) if it’s not linked to being a system but i’m not an expert on the rules /lh

[pulsar wren]

Oh, right, prob

[wind shell]

it’s not a problem i don’t think but like for future reference

[rose oxide]

i might just add a new forum for that, idk how many people would use it though

[wind shell]

i don’t know i don’t moderate unless it’s important or mildly annoying /lh

[pulsar wren]

There’s an aac app chat but there’s not really one for aac generally or nonverbal/semiverbal talk so I’m making one; what should I call it?

[wind shell]

i don’t really know i’m hyper verbal if anything (not the system overall just me)

[rose oxide]

you can just say nonverbal/semiverbal(/hyperverbal ?) chat and aac stuff probably

[pulsar wren]

How about Verbality/AAC chat? ( so the title doesn’t get too long by putting nonverbal/semiverbal/etc )

[rose oxide]

yeah

[wind shell]

sure that works

[pulsar wren]

Cool

[rose oxide]

im gonna be yapping

[pulsar wren]

Feel free to

[rose oxide]

ill yap when my brain functions better later

hopefully

[wind shell]

Get an adblocker? /sug

skye {she/it} 🫧💫 ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) picrew is giving me so many ads today

Proxyyy

i dunno how to do that i’m on my phone and honestly i don’t care enough

Fair enough

i’m turning everyone that i know how they look and wants a new pfp into my picrew because i can’t be bothered to go find ones that work better when this one has every eye colour and hair colour i could ever need

and it’s fun