#transdome

1 messages · Page 27 of 1

sudden zephyr
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Also to add on I'm also use to being called a doll just because I live in Oklahoma 😭

misty harness
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yeah that was my gut reaction

hallow bronze
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I agree, but the intention is good I feel (it's also not like they're getting into using reclaimed slurs)

winter comet
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i think there's been a push to generalize the usage of doll as opposed to how it historically had been used for cis passing, ""fully transitioned"" highly feminine trans women to whoever wants to have it used on them regardless of how traditionally feminine they are BUT the key is "whoever wants to have it used on them" i feel

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on the other hand in this specific context it's like when cis people found out the term egg

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even other trans people overused that term on others unfairly

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(also im not trying to tell any transfems how to feel on this one my opinion doesn't matter i'm just saying i've seen doll sort of become less of an exclusive term over time)

jagged quiver
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DESPISE what the term egg has become

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mfs cant explore their gender without 50 million redditors being like "erm... ill check back on you in a couple years..."

winter comet
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calling yourself an egg > person is slightly gnc and gets put on blast without consent by nosy asshole

magic verge
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there's also the aspect of "doll" having originally been a term used in ballroom and thus primarily used by black and latina trans women so i feel like "is this ok" is not necessarily the question to ask and more so "is this person at all familiar with the history of this term in the slightest". like i think this is another situation of ballroom slang being disseminated into the public and then used in contexts/by people completely divorced from their origins

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i imagine it could come off as patronizing if used by random ass cis woman

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still mad at drag race for popularizing the term "death drop" which does not actually exist in ballroom/vogue (IT'S A DIP!!!!)

misty harness
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yeah I mean that's really what I was talking about. the person in question is a cis girl who likes drag and goes to masc gay bars but afaik has no trans friends

magic verge
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yeah i don't really vibe with that

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not transfem but i'm quite familiar with ball culture so it leaves a bad taste in my mouth

grand hearth
magic verge
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it's like the same vibes as everybody screaming "protect the dolls!!!" ok what are you doing to support trans women and transfems in your life? or do you want to say that to seem progressive

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if you don't have trans women in your life i don't think you really should be going around saying that stuff lol

winter comet
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buzzwordification sucks

chrome snow
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But straight up

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I would feel uncomfortable if a cis person referred to a trans person as a doll.

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Unless if they consent that label, it should not be said.

sudden zephyr
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ive never been one to receive dysphoria or feel uncomfortable from being called something so I have a hard time trying to understand it honestly

winter comet
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i think the biggest issue here is overstepping bounds and using a historic word in an uneducated context while not being part of the community it designates

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it happens a lot with drag race fans learning a historically queer word (as misha said most of them come from ballroom culture which is spearheaded and pioneered by black and latina transfems) and just seeing surface level context for it and running with it instead of researching it

magic verge
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yeah, my thought process is that somebody outside of the community is going around using this word with zero knowledge of its background in an attempt to seem more "in-tune" with queer culture, but i don't really see it making any trans woman they encounter more comfortable with them. at worst it'll come off as condescending or appropriative (even more so if they're white/nonblack and using this towards twoc/black trans women)

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it just seems very weird and performative

west anchor
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Do y'all ever pee and then like a little bit comes out after

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Like 10s or so after u stood up

misty harness
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no

grand hearth
west anchor
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it only happened once

grand hearth
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??????????

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phrased it like it was a regular thing that happens to ya

west anchor
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my b

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i thought maybe the T blockers did it

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cus i spiro makes u pee but im not on it anymore

grand hearth
frosty ice
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it's not dangerous you don't need to worry about it if it's annoying you u can do some kegel exercises or pee standing up

west anchor
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oooh ok

digital geyser
dull raft
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yet another reason why i want to move to colorado

paper totem
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who else potentially about to lose access to hrt ✋

next harbor
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Oh haha same

paper totem
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fucking hate it here

hallow bronze
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Throw cans of soup at transphobic people

winter comet
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throw those orange grenades from dk64 at transphobic "people"

next harbor
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Do any of you have recommendations for out-of-pocket hrt (T) solutions? 🫠
I may be able to.. establish that my hysto is giving me problems and T is the only way I can solve those problems and hand wave any questions cuz it's not like anyone in that position would even know

magic verge
next harbor
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Thank you so much. I've also seen that there are subscription-based hrt services, including this. It's also sometimes available at reduced prices for those living in more hostile places like florida and texas

clear zodiac
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i might just diy mine atp

magic verge
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i've been thinking of making the switch from transdermal gel to injections for a multitude of reasons but the fact that vials are basically the only available form of it in the US if you DIY is definitely a factor

next harbor
magic verge
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i'm glad that you have your fiancée to support you!!

clear zodiac
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i'm really hoping i can move out of my mom's house and get gender affirming care during pride month

gleaming sand
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good luck <3

ocean marten
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good luck!!

pulsar mortar
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lily makes some great video documentaries, and this one was especially personal and made me feel a way i cant describe

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thought yall might appreciate it too

winter comet
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my husband just joked that i'm girlmoding

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he's not necessarily wrong

jagged quiver
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im kinda realizing that despite being like "i never rlly showed signs as a kid" i kinda did in a few ways ive been realizing

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i forgot the example i thought of a couple days ago but i j realized like i NEVER played w like male skins in fortnite in middle school 😭

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the only one i did had like a mask

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but i j straight up didnt use masculine skins which i find funny

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ok thats a bit of an exaggeration i did every now and then

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but still like

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subconscious gender expression thru FORTNITE get it ig queen

sudden zephyr
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I think I also did similar things lol

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Always picked female characters cause it felt right to me Ina way? idrk but yea I've always picked female characters in games cause always wanted to be feminine instead of bulky and a bit chubby

west anchor
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I used to dress my character as a girl on roblox when people were asleep

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And join the girl team on those boy vs girl PvP server from like 2013

digital geyser
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i often felt like i had to pick girl characters even in all girl settings i think to prove to myself that i was a girl

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but when i wasnt rlly thinking about it i would go for boys

sudden zephyr
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the only game I can think about where I pick a male character over female is warzone mainly cus how much I like Warren Coles accent

winter comet
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i like "girly" things
i do not like to wear or embody girly things and never have

jagged quiver
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like i thought i wasnt allowed or smth

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you MUST pick the boy 😡

jagged quiver
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i remember i used to switch my roblox avatars clothes to pajamas whenever i wld go to bed

misty harness
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All my fallout and Skyrim characters were women besides the like two times I tried playing a dude and quit cuz it felt wrong lol

ocean marten
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just okaying splatoon should have neen rnough of an indicator ig

winter comet
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my old ass trying to bind even tho my ribs get achey from just wearing my work apron slightly tied too tight

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this binder tends to keep a lot of the binding off my ribs tho unlike my older binder so i should be fine

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generally i do not do this bc again im old and know better but my self image is to where im in the kind of mood to chop all my hair off even tho i look like shit with short hair

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it happens it'll pass

west anchor
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I like aprons cus they show my tight waist

winter comet
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hate aprons

ripe burrow
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aprons are a hit or miss

winter comet
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my work apron doesn't sit on my waist luckily but it sits near my ribs so if i tie it too tight it aggravates my perpetual Binder Ache because i was a teenage idiot with one single ill fitting underworks binder and a dream

sudden zephyr
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never worn a apron in my life

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Actually I don't think we've ever had one in the house before

winter comet
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to give myself more credit i was stealth in high school so it was actually not really my fault i wasn't intending to bind irresponsibly but for someone my chest size and financial status i probably shouldnt have presented stealth at the time

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i could have probably waited it out

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and now as an adult i can barely bind

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remember tboys (and otherwise nbs that bind) 👴
the mental anguish you feel now is very real and sucks and can make us do things that sacrifice our physical health
but binding is a marathon not a sprint
be safer than i was

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your ribs will thank you. my ribs ache even though i don't wear anything on my ribs most days if i slouch a certain way too long

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i've gotten looked at and i dont think my bones have any problem but i think my body just remembers the pressure, like i think it's a muscular or nerve thing

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but sometimes it can be a bone thing and that's bad

clear zodiac
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gender is so complicated

digital geyser
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so this is how the uk is

small sand
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trans

west anchor
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Gener

winter comet
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cis women are just being used as a meat shield at this point to deflect
yet strong moves to improve reproductive rights and victim support and menstrual access and education and racial equity among women still not happening in relation to how much everyone is whining about trans people asking for legal protection

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and a lot of cis women are biting the propagandist bait unfortunately

magic verge
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"other people have rights" is a crazy whataboutism

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i really hate that the angle that is often taken here is "cis women have a lot in common with trans women/trans people in general actually so if you enact transphobic legislation you'll affect cis women" vs. "maybe we should stop further marginalizing trans women, a subsection of women who are already heavily oppressed". but that would involve acknowledging trans women as women

winter comet
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literally

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it boils down to them not wanting to do that

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acceptable womanhood must be an ever moving goalpost

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also the other people have rights bit is a very stark acknowledgement that the right to be respected in society is at a premium and is only allowed to select demographics without saying it in so many words

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like ok sure i'll bite, make trans women wait for their turn
what are you even doing for The Other People with rights then

magic verge
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they're just acting like the exclusion of trans women is somehow advancing feminism and TERFs eat it up

winter comet
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its such a long way to say "get fucked sucks to suck sorry we dont care about you"

magic verge
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any form of feminism that excludes trans women is completely useless

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like if any of these people actually cared about material liberation they wouldn't go "well you can't receive rights because the other people who have rights need them too"

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as if human rights are a finite resource

sudden zephyr
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do you guys think it'll offend certain people if you don't know their pronouns but call the person its/it or They/Them ?

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cause for like years I've always used it like that but recently people have been like.. getting mad at me for mis doing their pronouns but it's like I don't even KNOW THEM SO HOW CAN I GET IT RIGHT

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i ask they say whatever fastward week later I call the person a them and THE PERSON GETS MAD

dull raft
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ok yeah no that doesn't make sense 😭 they said whatever so ill use whatever 💔💔

sudden zephyr
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EXACTLY

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THEN YOU HAVE PRONOUNS DO YOU NOT ???

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I try my best to ask but sometimes I don't get a response and refer to people as them and people get mad 🙂‍↕️

misty harness
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there are advantages of the SOPHIE approach of preferring a name in all cases

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Makes for awkward sentence construction sometimes though

sudden zephyr
digital geyser
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it/its being used by people, including myself btw i'm an it/its user, is a reclaimation of the ways trans and other marginalised people are dehumanised and also bc ppl think its neat. but dont use it for someone whose pronouns you dont know 🫡

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the main issue ppl have with they/them for ppl you dont know is if you only do it for visibly trans/gnc folks. ive started trying to use it for everyone i dont know even if they're very clearly cis until they tell me their pronouns or i see what they are to emphasise that anyone can be trans and that being trans doesn't have a look, as well as avoiding singling out trans folks

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but as long as you use it only when u dont know pronouns i think thats fine. i've had people who know i use he/him or literally when for example i have he/him on a character's nametag in larp and because i'm pre everything they still use they/them for me or my character and its rlly ass bc even tho i'm ok with they/them i dont want it to be my primary pronoun

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i've started writing my pronouns as he/him or he/him/they to emphasise that he/him is my most comfortable pronoun bc of this. bc i know people will use they/them for me regardless of what i say but saying i use he/him rather than he/they increases the likelihood of people using he/him more for me. its so ass that i have to do that but bc i dont pass or bind or do anything like that ppl just immediately treat me as not a man

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even well-meaning allies

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i think thats probably where the frustration comes from for ppl who get annoyed at you using they/them for them when you dont know

magic verge
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yeah i agree with alder, as an it/its user, using it for a person you don't know is almost comparable to referring to them as a slur imo. i wouldn't do it unless it's explicitly stated that that is what they prefer

magic verge
winter comet
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i've definitely had to get onto people that know me for they/themming me despite keeping my pronouns visible or telling people them when they ask because i don't use they/them at all

magic verge
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SAME

winter comet
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and then people go "whats wrong with they pronouns" nothing except you're still misgendering me

magic verge
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yeah it's degendering

winter comet
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people not liking certain pronouns used on them ≠ saying anything is wrong with those pronouns except when you tell people to stop using they on you apparently

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(its bc they dont want to bother learning trans people's pronouns but will learn what pronouns have been assigned to a dog that doesnt care about gender)

magic verge
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i don't really think there's a one size fits all option but my general approach is that i ask people for their pronouns if they don't have them listed anywhere and i'm in a setting where that wouldn't put them into a compromising position. otherwise i will probably go with "they" or if they're visibly transfem or transmasc i go with what matches their presentation the most. but as soon as i learn somebody's pronouns, if "they" isn't one of them i'm not using that

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i can also imagine people getting upset in situations like alder described above where they've expressed that multiple sets are okay but you only ever use "they"

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again everybody has different relationships with gender and expression so if you're unsure i would just privately ask the person what is best

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like i know trans people who will only use certain pronouns in certain contexts

winter comet
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yeah gender as a whole is never one size fits all and neither is all its accoutrements

clear zodiac
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i’m thinking of getting a reduction surgery

dull raft
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hell yeah

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i also want one but my state is stupid and thinks that unless my chesticles give me excruciating back pain i don't need a reduction 💔

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cant expect much from a state that changed its racist ass flag just 4 years ago

winter comet
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if i were blessed enough to have a small chest naturally i would probably still be able to bind and honestly probably not worry much about top surgery

hallow bronze
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the world may be fucked, but drawfee raised 150k dollars for trans lifeline today, AND THEY BROKE THE 80K GOAL IN LIKE AN HOUR

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there's love still, never forget

winter comet
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hell yea
i also think about the time hbomberguy(?) raised a shit ton of money for a trans uk charity

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also tangent but today a teenage coworker of mine asked me the funniest fucking thing

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he squints at my he/him button and i go "what" and he's like "your pronouns are he?" and i'm prepared to explain even tho i have long hair and don't bind i just dont have the circumstances to transition but he just goes, with no malice: "if youre he, how come you have a boyfriend?"

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i just kinda shrugged and he went "oh that kind of thing doesn't really matter to you right"

hallow bronze
winter comet
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in regards to all the cis donators and organizers for these kinds of things i feel like moments like these really highlight the difference between accomplices and allies

hallow bronze
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how are you gay?........

winter comet
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its ok if youre trans but i draw the line at being gay (thats not at all what he said)

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he's a japanese kid that grew up in enclaves in the states that mostly had japanese people so i dont think he really knew a lot of openly lgbt people until he hit high school

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not saying gay and trans japanese people don't exist its just as an asian american myself i know that a lot of the time people don't really express it as openly all the time in our cultures as a lot of people born and raised in america

west anchor
grand hearth
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The guy was very confused how this trans man had a girlfriend lol

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His name is Pepe Julian Onziema

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entirely different topic but the phrase reminded me of this lol

winter comet
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theres more context underneath btw but my phone only screenshots so far
read into it yourself if you need more

winter comet
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back at it again wanting a haircut since my hair is too long but not anything super traditional or short and im terrified that if i just say that to a stylist without ref pics they'll give me a shag mullet which is something i do not want

digital geyser
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thank you dude for giving terfs a talking point by being a complete weirdo

next harbor
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unreasonable transitioning goalposting. What's yours?

Tumblr_l_87647395312293.jpg
sudden zephyr
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Goalsss

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Uuuh I think mines Jill Valentine

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Or maybe a guardian from botw

misty harness
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hrt except its scarlet rot

hallow bronze
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Is it basic to say the xenomorph

next harbor
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no it's sick as fuck

winter comet
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my transition goal

PHONE_WALLPAPER_23.jpg
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(poisonp1nk.bsky.social)

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sorry it took a sec for me to grab the source bc i forgot they dont use twitter anymore

hallow bronze
dull raft
jagged blaze
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Kawaii Evil Skeleton actually

hallow bronze
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ghost rider truly is gender

digital geyser
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i also think link is an unrealistic goal for me bc he pretty i am not lol

pulsar mortar
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this too except its diet dr pepper

IMG_8589.jpg
dull raft
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ur so realfor that

strong heath
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unironically the wlfgrl wolf in. a girl way

scenic falcon
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scp 049 (had to repost cuz I felt like I posted in between your post)

196613f8c9f9afbb164c4f7077f1cc3f.png
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why? always saw myself as a masc plague doctor

ripe burrow
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my transition goals is to become a rabid zombie or werewolf

jagged quiver
dull raft
pulsar mortar
sudden zephyr
dull raft
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now listen here wolves are swag regardless of spiritual identity

paper totem
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if ur in the machine girl discord server and dont fuck with wolves honesly what are you doing

sudden zephyr
dull raft
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Perish

sudden zephyr
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I LITERALLY AM OBSESSED OVER DIFFERENT CANINES BECAUSE THEY ARE COOLER LOOKING

dull raft
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BLAHBLAH BLA H

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WOLVES WOLVES WOLVES

ocean marten
next harbor
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these are all such wonderful picks!!!

ripe burrow
paper totem
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awoo and such

next harbor
ripe burrow
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being a male werewolf would solve all my issues

winter comet
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i woke up next to my husband and said "oh god it wasn't a dream we have blue hair and pronouns..."

winter comet
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the hair in question

20250611_105033.jpg
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its not dark enough so next dye im going to get purple to blend it with

sudden zephyr
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I'm sorry I need to make a comment that eyebrow you got there feels like you could do that Dwayne Johnson pose 😭

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But I think the purple would be nice

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Someone I have added on snap did like pastel colors

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Half of their hair n it looks really good on her surprisingly

sudden zephyr
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Very pretty:D

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Ugh it isn't embedding

winter comet
sudden zephyr
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I just thought it was funny ;-;

pulsar mortar
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hey so is it like normal to have this like really weird feeling that you’re like. actuallt cis and not trans

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not like

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questioni mg

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questioning on a bigger level i guess

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ive been feeling weird

dull raft
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yes definitely !!

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what i do when i feel that way is imagine life if i were cis. like imagine being referred to by my deadname and my cis pronouns

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and usually the discomfort i feel "validates" my own transness to me

pulsar mortar
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ive been kinda thinking about that

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but for some reason if i think about myswlf with my deadname and cis pronouns i like. my brain doesn’t give me like a reaction

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i may be in a weird slump

dull raft
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no matter what ur identity is, we will accept u :3

pulsar mortar
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thank u

sudden zephyr
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but just like sleepy says we'll support you no matter wat

sudden zephyr
pulsar mortar
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oops wrong message reply

pulsar mortar
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but yeah

sudden zephyr
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Ahh okay good :D

sudden zephyr
# pulsar mortar but yeah

but if you want just look into it a bit it helped me for a while until I felt completely feminine constantly

hallow bronze
winter comet
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dysphoria is different for everyone but some people are simply just happier with a chosen, deliberate gender presentation rather than unhappier presenting congruently with societally typical gender expression

misty harness
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i think most trans people have moments where they wonder. gender is made up though, do what you feel is right regardless of whether it's cis, trans, binary, nonbinary. the whole point is to be true to yourself, whatever that means. labels are shorthand, but you are a whole damn person and no label should define you.

the only wrong choice is to sacrifice your own happiness and comfort for the sake of appeasing external factors (unless it's an issue of safety of course)

pulsar mortar
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thank you, i agree 100%

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im still trying to figure out whats happening in my head

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i dont think im not trans, my experiences can definitely back that up

pulsar mortar
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honestly makes me really sad that it seems like every queer/trans crisis chatline seems to be forever busy and unavailable

small sand
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bro does estrogen change ur freaking hairline i have tiny little bits of hair where i swear there used to be nothing

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it looks so strange

bronze ocean
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and of course anti androgens stopping androgenic hair loss

winter comet
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my cis dude coworker genders me correctly and so when he was talking to my transphobic coworker i overheard them and he was asking where i was and my coworker said "he's in the notebooks" and the transphobe clearly is so scared to misgender me to cis people that are normal so he goes "she- he.."

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im not someone who is quick to correct people on my pronouns because I Have Given Up but its really funny that the most basic proper gendering of myself is enforced by cis people literally just speaking about me in third person and not me directly

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so much for the caricature of the trans tyrant people construct as some sort of talking point
its literally as simple as a cis guy going "he" about a transmasc to make transphobes feel a type of way

dull raft
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idk why some cis folk make accidental misgendering out to be some sin or smth

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meanwhile if a trans person accidentally uses the wrong pronoun theyll just go "she- oops sorry he was..."

dull raft
winter comet
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in this case its the opposite my transphobic coworker makes correct gendering to be some big thing

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he always hesitates saying my transfem coworker's correct name

dull raft
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lmfao??

winter comet
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i did ask her if she wants me to correct him bc i know some people are kind of worried it'll end in retaliation of some sort for them if misgendering is corrected on their behalf and i was given her blessing so he is going to learn

winter comet
dull raft
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ive been teaching myself that nature is not as binary as we humans would like to think, that nature doesn't give a shit about humans' ideas on what should and shouldnt be

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and that strangely helps a LOT when discussing things like gender or why someone is the way they are

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well not strangely idk why i said that lmaoo

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on a similar note nothing is truly linear

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your gender journey, growth/recovery, friendships and relationships

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there will be times that they feel slow or like its "different" than usual and that's totally ok and normal!!!

feral wind
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starting to realize im trans again

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i missed being one cause it was so chill just being a pretty girl online

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im trans ven

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(transfem)

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we are so back

gleaming sand
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hell yeah

ripe burrow
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was feeling a little dysphoric so to take off my mind of that i created this lil guy

sandy.png
hallow bronze
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oh my good he's looks so cool

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love your drawing style

ripe burrow
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THANK YOUUUU

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sandy is the hip australian golden retriever that surfs and skateboards and never wears a shirt cuz hes just so hip

frosty ice
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woag

last pilot
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holy shit I need to be like him

ripe burrow
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everything is possible

true elm
sturdy sluice
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i acquired my first skirt last friday :3

golden plover
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Skateboard dog!

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I love the drawing and the lil guy

paper totem
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for anyone that isn't aware [content warning us politics shit] ||the supreme court ruled 6-3 the tennesee ban on hrt for minors isnt subject to further scrutiny. this is Bad||

SPOILER_bafkreihs5ntkrylh73qnfeo4wc34g6chdpogobx27j2ccxaknljzqcpvie.jpg
digital geyser
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ffs

ripe burrow
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the feeling of putting a freshly washed binder on is actually kinda euphoric cuz of how tightly binding it is

jagged quiver
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how do i achieve this build while still eating all the food i want no unhealthy practices not changing anything about my life whatsoever free working 2025 not patched

what-killer-here-is-winning-best-dressed-at-the-anniversary-v0-sxyj8zpz157d1.png
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including the pig head

winter comet
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john kramer best transgender doctor in the nation x

ocean marten
jagged quiver
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i make fun but i lowkey be missing my reddit tgirl phase sometimes

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i miss being unapologetically OBNOXIOUS about my gender in the way i was back them i need to be annoying about it again

sudden zephyr
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How can you be annoying

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About it

jagged quiver
sudden zephyr
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I don't think I've been very vocal about me being trans ;-; it's always just been just say it and get it clarified

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that I'm trans

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And then I don't say a word about it unless I need help with trans stuff but I usually go to other trans ppl for it

dull raft
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i wanted to beat his ass SO BAD

winter comet
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dont care much for deliberate assimilationists tbh

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not people who happen to blend in or do so for safety
people who hate those who don't and can't

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im not that vocal about being trans irl because i just look like a butch woman to people due to my hair and physical inability to bind and i don't like wearing pastels (so i dont rep the flag)

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but ive been out for over 10 years now
ive known who i am and who i want to become for longer than a lot of trans AND especially cis people in my life
why the fuck do i care if someone is happy in a way that i dont personally express lol
this is a tangent but my only critique about very unapologetically trans people on the internet is a lot of the time ive encountered white trans people talking over poc because they kind of seal themselves into a bubble and dont talk to anyone else but white transfems or transmascs depending
if the first vision of a trans person you conjure in your head is a white person that's an issue

#

once left a server full of trans and otherwise queer leftists because every time i would talk about race including when i would point out racist attitudes in chat they would either tell me to source or had to compare it to queerphobia because they had no idea how to even fathom it any other way

empty goblet
#

spread amongst ur networks plz <3

jaia_cruz.png
#

graphic i made for f2l initiative for Jaia Cruz https://fundrazr.com/SupportingJaia

FundRazr
SUPPORTING JAIA FUND

Jaia Cruz is a young transwoman of color who defended herself after being attacked in a deli earlier this year. Jaia took a plea deal and is currently serving a 15 year sentence in the New York State prison system. This fundraiser is for Jaia so that s...

#

Jaia Cruz was being continuously harassed and stalked in her community; and is now in jail after defending herself. Commissary can be a meaningful substantial way to show up for our incarcerated trans siblings. F2L does really good work and is worth checking out

ripe burrow
#

chat im having peak euphoria moments cuz all the old people in russia think im just some 14 year old boy, like i fw that so heavy

#

also i get free child tickets cuz mums running with the ‘bit’

tall pawnBOT
#

⚠️ Caution: Online ticket scams are common. Always use PayPal Business for protection—this allows you to request a refund if scammed.
More info: #1365896617462599750 message

ripe burrow
#

thank you evil carl

hallow bronze
#

Ironed out my trans flag for the march tomorrow :3

ripe burrow
hallow bronze
#

It's not like, Sunday shirt 0 wrinkles, but it doesn't have the noticeable folding creases anymore I don't think

#

I also painted my nails kinda okay

ripe burrow
#

you’ll look so fly

hallow bronze
#

Trans people are so so cool..... I should spend all my time with them

grand hearth
#

It’s very funny how much guys like code switch with me and like, talk to me like I’m a guy

#

very affirming lmfao

winter comet
#

when i was still able to be stealth in high school that happened to me too

#

except they didnt like when i stuck up for girls
i bring a sort of "treat teen girls w respect" energy that some men don't really like

magic verge
#

passing tip for trans men: be a misogynist (HEAVY SARCASM)

winter comet
#

thats basically real advice on trans man subreddits iamloling

magic verge
#

yeah.

candid ore
#

through for some reason i also feel affirmed somewhat when my girl friends treat me like one of them because i would rather die than be treated like a normal cis guy by everyone ... 💔

winter comet
#

i was molded and shaped by women throughout my life
i may not be a woman but i feel comfortable around them and i think had i been born a cis guy this wouldnt change

candid ore
#

same my sisters (though they are/were both fem nb) and mother have made such a stronger positive impact on my life than my brother and father

grand hearth
magic verge
#

what the hell??? 😭

grand hearth
#

He knew I’m trans too lol

#

since then he’s not done that. I hope he’s matured and not just, not being that way with me

#

I can’t remember the exact wording but it was sum shit about girls (called them “females”) tending to gossip but he is as dense as a neutron star and didn’t see that I was trying to redirect his thinking lol

misty harness
#

smh too dense to be a reasonable person not dense enough to collapse into singularity what a loser

#

(jk)

grand hearth
valid sun
#

have the opposite issue, a lot of girls i tell that im transsexual to will be mildly more invasive than they were when i was stealth to them, but seems to be a small group. in general i just get along with old people more. none of the older women gaf and treat me like normal. having the power to talk down to guys being misogynistic is nice though lol

#

the girl friends i have right now are literally the best, this seems to be something with new people i meet & tell them months later. i have a feeling theyre trying to be supportive but dont really know how to be because im stealth

#

but then again most of my friends are guys and it has always been that way even when i was a kid 🤷‍♂️ not so much a discomfort thing but the venn diagram of interests.. the circle of guys i know vs girls i know with my interests is bigger

#

& i am closer to my dad than my mom but he has autism so thats probably why. to be fair ive made some new clubbing friends who are women and know im TS and dont really mention it which is my preference, but again theyre like close to 30 and arent my age so maybe that's why ? less to care about

#

most guys back down when you try to backtalk them about misogyny which is funny. either say it with confidence or dont dickhead

winter comet
#

another reason to remove my facial hair after t

image.png
#

not that chino moreno is bad looking but where did my head hair go and why do i have the chin patch

#

he's had that beard patch for like 30 years

#

john health is the transition goal i'm realizing

ripe burrow
winter comet
#

we both have the very specific half korean RBF

misty harness
winter comet
#

no

#

as hard as that goes

hallow bronze
winter comet
#

i needed another point of reference that wasnt markiplier

hallow bronze
#

Steve aoki

winter comet
#

i thought of that but he's not mixed asian tho

#

he's just japanese
i kept thinking he was half like devon but he's not

ripe burrow
#

one of my transition goals is niko b, as in the rapper, not the guy from gta

winter comet
#

is that a twix

ripe burrow
#

yes lad

grand hearth
#

Daron Malakian is my transition goals

dull raft
#

my transition goals are a very weird mix between jacksepticeye and wayneradiotv

#

ill probably have waynes facial hair, cuz my dad has very similar facial hair, and everything else will probably be similar to jacksepticeye (i hope)

candid ore
#

my transition goals are tubarão from rainbow six siege but with long hair

dull raft
#

i love long hair on masculine ppl it looks so swag

#

im trying to grow out my hair for that very reason lol

candid ore
#

i have pretty long hair (halfway down my back) but it makes me look more feminine than when i have short hair because im still pre-t

#

i still refuse to cut it though

sudden zephyr
#

I don't want my hair to be too long likee

#

I like it s but longish enough to just frame my face good rly

dull raft
#

"omggg what a beautiful young girlll!" NO. BEAUTIFUL YOUNG ALMOST MAN

dull raft
candid ore
left rivet
#

Is it a lil late for me to be realizing just cause i act like a girl sometimes doesnt make me a girl yes i overanalize everything i do

#

Like just cause i transitioned doesnt mean i have to throw away all my interests i grew up enjoying

winter comet
#

everyone is on their own personal pace

dull raft
#

:3

#

there are ppl in their 80s finding out about their transness or lesbianness or gayness etc etc

jagged quiver
#

i have complained abt it here on multiple occasions but i hate the mainstream idea of being trans of like "ever since i was 7 i HATED everything about being a boy and played with dolls and wore dresses" i feel like people treat that as the only way to be trans and its aggravating to me

sudden zephyr
#

i didn't think people acted like that lol

#

To me it's always been I just feel like this way about my body and that's it never gave it much thought often

jagged quiver
sudden zephyr
#

if I feel mainly feminine all the time jaaa it's good but there are times when I feel masculine and ehh I don't try to like feel it just it happens cuz I am biologically born that lol so idrk what else to feel besides a bit of confusion

jagged quiver
#

which creates a pressure on actual trans people to act accordingly

#

at least i feel

sudden zephyr
#

like I am VERY disconnected from any LGBT spaces lol

#

cause it's just eeh.. too much stress imo

jagged quiver
#

i might just be taking my own experiences of growing up trans in hella conservative circles and assuming its an everybody thing

#

lol

sudden zephyr
#

well I wouldn't know myself cause I don't look into the more like news side and whatnot

jagged quiver
#

but thats the thing that was used against me like "oh u cant be trans u acted like a boy growing up"

#

like bitch ofc i did YOU socialized me into it

sudden zephyr
#

Aah yeah

#

Well I

#

Idrk I always acted a certain way my parents didn't care just if it was nice and what not

jagged quiver
#

my mom in particular fucks w gender roles so heavy for some reason

sudden zephyr
#

if I wanted to like put on makeup n shit mom would do it

#

just cuz it's fun

jagged quiver
#

bruh my mom wouldnt paint my nails bc i was a boy 😭

sudden zephyr
#

my mom painted my nails lol

#

So did my dad sometimes

jagged quiver
#

i remember one time my then-gf painted my nails and when she noticed when i came home she looked at me like i killed someone

sudden zephyr
#

lol

#

It's just nails

jagged quiver
#

like girl can we be fr....

sudden zephyr
#

likee it doesn't really effect her besides like "oh my baby (mb) boy is being femme blah blah blah"

#

It's stupidddd

#

I'm

#

I don't know what my point is

#

but I am stoned a bit

jagged quiver
#

ur good LMAO

#

there doesnt need to be a point rambling is top 5 human activities

sudden zephyr
#

like I get parents not rly understanding it and I hope some truly can so they can support them lol and I hope eventually ur stubborn ass mom does

#

I doubt it honestly

#

but eeh always room for hope

jagged quiver
#

yea probably not LOL

#

i think she'll grow to be tolerant of it but not much more

sudden zephyr
#

least she can do that lol

jagged quiver
#

true

sudden zephyr
#

Instead of disowning you like some have been

jagged quiver
#

its crazy to think my situation is fortunate

sudden zephyr
#

yeah someways it is

jagged quiver
#

like my situation is shit and yet i have it so much better than most

#

esp these days

sudden zephyr
#

Yeah I get it

#

you got a place to live n all that

#

food a phone

jagged quiver
#

right

sudden zephyr
#

buncha random shit you don't need lol

#

but you got it

jagged quiver
#

yea

sudden zephyr
#

cyro

jagged quiver
#

it makes me sad to think abt

#

ya

sudden zephyr
#

how many blinkers

#

Do I do

#

ur fate is in my hands

#

gurl

jagged quiver
#

i usually dont do any

#

tbh

#

i j gradually get higher instead of taking big hits

sudden zephyr
#

I don't care cuz the battery is gonna die on it

#

soon

#

So I'm just gonna fuck it all up

jagged quiver
#

taking big hits makes me feel like im gonna throw up

sudden zephyr
#

lmao

jagged quiver
#

but uh

#

idk 2

#

go for it

sudden zephyr
#

ok g

#

Also like yea

#

It sorta makes me think about like me just having a console feel lucky lol

jagged quiver
#

taking like average length hits is nicest for me i dont like coughing too much

sudden zephyr
#

especially to be raised with all this media and internet

sudden zephyr
jagged quiver
sudden zephyr
#

I get cramps in my ass if I cough too much

#

lol

jagged quiver
#

does that sound like bragging i dont mean it to be lol

jagged quiver
sudden zephyr
#

NAAH

#

it doesn't

#

Make you seem privileged or whatever

#

I got a buncha shit like all my games and arcades

jagged quiver
#

but no its like me coming out didnt go WELL

#

but like my life didnt change that much

sudden zephyr
#

yeah

jagged quiver
#

and thats more than a lot of people can say

#

makes me sad

sudden zephyr
#

Well that's just how it is really;- ; don't know what else to say

jagged quiver
#

fair enough

#

i am also j rambling atp

sudden zephyr
#

Just they're unfortunate enough to have that family

#

But I'm sure they can eventually find somebody to rely on for some support

#

like friends

#

or other family

jagged quiver
#

one day hopefully we wont have to worry abt those things

sudden zephyr
#

i don't think that'll ever happen

#

like I don't mean to be negative

#

But it's always gonna happen

#

imo anyways

jagged quiver
#

fair, but i think we can def reach a point which is much better than what we have now

sudden zephyr
#

somewhat at least yeah

jagged quiver
#

progress tends to be slow but sure

sudden zephyr
#

I think it's just this whole trump administration bullshit that ruined it some more

#

and all these random bills

#

I understand like minors not getting hrt cause ur already going through a SHIT ton of changes no?

#

like I felt feminine forever but I didn't think about hrt until I was like 17??

jagged quiver
sudden zephyr
#

ehh yeah true

#

Fair point

jagged quiver
#

i remember i wanted to get on hrt at 15

#

which in retrospect was lowkey jumping the gun i had just started identifying as transfem

#

but ig i still do so it wouldnt have been a bad decision

sudden zephyr
#

It was a gradual acception for me

#

First more felt inline with that demiboy stuff for quite a bit

#

sometimes I still think about it

jagged quiver
#

i identified as genderfluid for a couple months

#

then realized i j generally preferred feminine identities

#

i still kinda fluctuate sometimes ig but its rarely masculine

sudden zephyr
#

never really understood gender fluid then

jagged quiver
#

i j call myself demigirl bc its easier :P

sudden zephyr
#

I feel mostly femme but there's times where I just absolutely work my ass off and just feel a bit strong and masc

#

And I like it a lil

jagged quiver
#

i like a very specific flavor of masculinity but only sometimes

#

i cant describe it in words but i have an image in my head LOL

#

but i much prefer any flavor of femininity

#

ok maybe not ANY

#

being like a tradwife wld suck

dull raft
#

there are so many flavors of masculinity i wanna be that i think itll all cancel out and ill end up being masc leaning androgynous

ripe burrow
#

IM STUCK INBETWEEN BEING STRAIGHT WHITE BOY MASC AND EVIL ALTERNATIVE GAY GUY MASC

#

i own too many sports clothes for my own sanity, i fear that i may come off as a straight guy mockung someone if i try to compliment an alternative persons fit…

dull raft
#

😭😭

#

i wanna be a biker gang member who saves kittens but i also wanna look like a Fucking Nerd™ BUTTT i also wanna seem like a femboy (not in the sexual way skirts and makeup are just super swag to me) BUTTTTT i also wanna dress like a stoner

ripe burrow
#

god your so real about the stoner part

winter comet
#

inside i am a frilly ouji lad but on the outside i am a tired butch in black cargo joggers

candid ore
#

i think im going to eternally have the buff long haired metalhead vibe because that's what ive always wanted to go for but i tend to dress like a stoner as it stands because binding is annoying 😔

#

i only ever bind for events

#

particularly events where im not moving around often ... because Asthma ...

winter comet
#

i cant bind more than 4 hrs anymore

#

my ribs are dust

dull raft
#

i need a new binder

#

i keep slowly gaining weight

next harbor
#

I found this binder at a t4t clothing swap and it's way too big for me but has a rly cool tummy band

#

It kinda like hugs the bottom of ur tummy in a rly convenient way

dull raft
#

omg awesome!!!!

#

ive always been a bit dysphoric about my tummy pouch since only afabs have that

next harbor
#

plus society acts like the tummy pouch just doesn't exist, among reaching controls over other people's bodies and intentions.

magic verge
#

it's just an estrogen thing independent of your asab, if your body is processing enough estrogen it just assumes you have a uterus to protect

dull raft
#

:O

ripe burrow
#

thats actually so interesting

#

i need that t so my pouch disappears into oblivion, who wants a free uterus gang

magic verge
#

uterus to a good home

ripe burrow
#

yes its well looked after, it can bite tho

magic verge
#

after being on t for a while i think i have more of a generally rounded tummy instead of the protective pooch

#

then again i have a lot of GI issues so i'm constantly bloated mamamia

#

oh while i'm on the topic of testosterone i'm switching over to subq injections after being on gel 🫡 wish me luck with stabbing myself

grand hearth
#

pesky details like that escape the minds of a busy healthcare worker sometimes

magic verge
#

i'm doing it via folx so the provider gave me a basic breakdown but they also do live teachings :)

ripe burrow
#

kinda wish they just made t shots in a way an epi pen works

#

not all this silly precision work

grand hearth
#

maybe more like an insulin autoinjector

#

but that would be predicated on us being allowed to have nice things

#

it sux that T has a bit of its own stigma surrounding it

candid ore
#

if anything i would love to use the patches but those are so rare to find

next harbor
#

a lot of insurance companies don't like covering anything but subq unless you have a reaction to it. I don't think you'd need much to get your doctor to help change anything in the system or document one if they're cool

magic verge
#

i was able to get my gel covered by insurance

#

check the preferred drug list for your insurance, sometimes plans will only cover generic forms of t gel or certain brand names. part of the reason why taking t was inconsistent for me was that the insurance changed the gel brand they covered without me knowing

#

patches i don't really have expertise on other than the fact that they can be expensive and insurance often won't cover it, but again depends on your plan

#

also check goodrx or similar prescription coupon programs for discounts if your insurance does end up not covering the form of T you prefer

#

sometimes goodrx is cheaper than or comparable to insurance coverage

candid ore
#

i know that my insurance generally does cover gac though

magic verge
#

yeah if you can look in advance then you can point out what specific brand/form of T your insurance covers, but worst case scenario you can contact your provider after the fact and let them know the situation

#

they'll usually be happy to write up a new script

ripe burrow
grand hearth
# ripe burrow theres a stigma around t??

yeah it’s a controlled substance in the US and there’s this idea that you become more aggressive with masculinizing HRT because most of peoples’ exposure to the idea of testosterone as a steroid are athletes who get roid rage

#

when the levels they take are a lot higher than therapeutic use for HRT

ripe burrow
#

man what the fuck, the usa cant have anything good

#

i havent been keeping track of how the uk treats trans patients in healthcare or anything like that but i do know thet the nhs wont do jack shit for them

#

waiting lists r crazy for the free healthcare service

hallow bronze
#

thatcher policies + terf island is a hell of a combo

winter comet
#

it takes for fucking ever to transition in the uk from what ive seen tbh

#

at least if you go through the nhs
it seems they operate very much on "proof" of transness and really long waits but most of the references i have of uk trans patients anecdotally have been from like mid 2010s

#

so idk if it had improved since then and tanked or what

misty harness
#

ive heard its still pretty bad

winter comet
#

wouldnt surprise me especially now

grand hearth
#

in a more positive personal life update, my mom really came around about my transness recently and apologized about how she had reacted before when I first came out and later on. it was very healing to hear all that come from her

just thought I’d share that there’s hope that parents can learn to love you better. As with anything, ymmv and not every parent chooses to have that humility—but if they don’t accept you or “get it” right now, it doesn’t mean they never will

misty harness
ripe burrow
winter comet
#

uk trans care be like: we need letters from 4 psychs, your mum, dad, dead granny, aunt, hamster and bus driver so we know you are who you say you are and will give you your trans gender operations and hormones but after a 3 year wait if that

winter comet
#

my mom has never been aggro about my transness and i think she's done a heaps better job than most parents especially being from south korea and in her age bracket but sometimes it seems like it doesn't click for her that i will be changing physically and im not a butch lesbian

#

but i've tried my best to be patient w her because she genuinely just has very little known reference for trans people in her life and im definitely the first example she's known personally

old swift
#

transgenderism

golden plover
old swift
#

thank you for this

#

I will most likely use that for something…

ripe burrow
#

im finna move out the uk so i can get gender affirming care without being interrogated about who i am

winter comet
#

im finally financially able to get hrt i just need insurance to kick in
luckily im in a very blue area but we also just gutted our already gutted healthcare and hrt continues to be scapegoated so

ripe burrow
#

i want a moustache so bad chat

#

like i know it probably wont suit me but like

#

thats the dream

grand hearth
#

im trying my best to grow mine 😔

magic verge
#

if y'all weren't aware you could potentially use rogaine/minoxidil to encourage facial hair growth if T alone doesn't do it for you but it's technically an off-label use. i've seen anecdotes from other guys that it's worked for them but mileage varies from person to person (like all meds). it's very toxic to pets but if you take it orally that won't be a concern dogofacceptance

west anchor
#

You guys can use my shaved body hair if you want /j

winter comet
#

if i go bald on t i will be so quick w the minoxidil

ripe burrow
#

im so seriously confused on how i havent been clocked yet as a trans guy in my family

candid ore
#

my dad is so thickly coated in body and facial hair i pray i dont have any issues with growing it

#

i think i am the luckiest man in the world though because no man in my family started balding before 40 🙏

ripe burrow
#

TYPE SJIT TWINNN

#

facial and hair on da head never was an issue in my family either

#

hair on dads side does curl tho…i do wonder if my hair structure will change on T

digital geyser
ripe burrow
#

hello guys are there any trans men/mascs who wear tape instead of a binder, if so what are your experiences with it cuz i wanna try it out but im scared of it not binding too well

candid ore
#

i tried it once and it didnt work at all 😭

next harbor
#

It also depends on the size of the boy tiddy how you bind, I've heard. Like you kinda gotta figure out what's right for you and with as little pain as possible. (Squish is not pain.)

#

But I also don't know shit I just know that too much pain for too long is very bad for you, esp over time. A wise entity here, (danny) has mentioned that he has lasting pain now. I let that fear fuel my decision every time haha

winter comet
#

i have a bigger chest but i was trying tape out just to see if i could get even slightly flatter without having to wear a sports bra and it did not agree with my skin at all
i didn't rip it off or anything (you have to use oil to gently ease it off) it was irritating me while i was wearing it
also guard your nipples underneath fo sho
most tapes made specifically for chest taping will give you instructions on how to shield them but in case you just get KT tape that's something to note

#

you can use like folded toilet roll or specifically made nipple guards underneath

winter comet
next harbor
#

goddamn it also I think I may have pinged him and I'm terribly sorry about that haha hiding forever now

ripe burrow
#

i might try it out

#

but im a little scared of it

winter comet
#

i think KT tape is cheaper than the trans specific ones in case you need to try it without spending too much but the thing with chest specific tape is that i think it's wider for better coverage so maybe there are people eslewhere online who regularly tape that can help

candid ore
#

yeah i spent a shitload of money on transtape specifically only for it to basically just be a strapless bra no matter how i put it on 😭

winter comet
#

i think getting just like. a cheap roll of any sort of medical tape type thing you stick onto skin and testing how the adhesive does on a very small patch of your skin is a good way to test if chest tape would irritate you before dropping money on it

#

i wish i had patch tested

#

the irritation didn't cause a whole rash on me luckily it was fine once my skin was free but it was not comfy

magic verge
#

i use transtape, mind you i'm like a b cup so it doesn't take much to make me flat. i do know of some people who use KT tape but like danny mentioned if you have a larger chest you'll have an easier time binding using the wider rolls/sizes of tape offered by companies aimed at trans people

#

it's a matter of making sure you are pulling the tape taut enough while applying it so that the tape has enough tension to press down the tissue in your chest/pull it up and away

#

results may vary but i already have breathing problems so using a binder is generally my least preferable choice when it comes to binding

#

i have sensitive skin (and suspected ehlers-danlos) and i only had issues with it irritating my skin or causing injury when i didn't apply it correctly. rule of thumb is to pull back to about 50% stretch capacity while applying the tape over your chest and then not pulling at all/using zero tension when applying the last inch or two (this is also how transtape instructs you to apply it). otherwise there'll be too much tension and you'll probably irritate or injure your skin

#

and if an initial strip of tape doesn't provide enough flattening you can put on another

#

once i have it on i'm able to keep it on for three days before i give myself a break but i can work in it, swim in it, shower in it which is really nice considering the fact that my chest is one of the things that causes me the most dysphoria

#

it also becomes easier to get a flatter result if you've been on T for a while since fat redistribution and lack of estrogen will make your chest somewhat smaller or at the very least will "deflate" it (can't think of a better way to phrase this lol)

west anchor
#

Does any GAF about gaffs

ripe burrow
#

thank you all for your advice, i’ll look into it a little more cuz i think im like a B cup too,, im honestly not sure what cup size i am but i am definitely on a smaller spectrum so maybe it’ll give better results that a binder (my current binder kinda makes everything uncomfortable)

candid ore
#

yeah if youre a smaller size you'll def have an easier time with tape, im like a dd+ and that's why it didnt work for me :p i personally have had a way better time with binders because of my chest size

elder saffron
#

GAF?

candid ore
magic verge
#

as an aside you can also tuck with transtape iirc

ripe burrow
magic verge
#

the blog has a bunch of tutorials it seems like

#

but yeah the general concept is the same, you're using tension to create a smoother appearance as opposed to compression. i imagine having tucking underwear would make things more straightforward but this would give you some more freedom in terms of bottoms you could wear

ripe burrow
#

ohhhhh well thats very interesting to learn

elder saffron
#

Tucking underwear is a lot better than tape

ripe burrow
#

i love trucking

#

my dads a trucker

elder saffron
#

I’m gonna kms 😭 😭 😭 😭

ripe burrow
elder saffron
ripe burrow
elder saffron
#

But yeah if anyone wants recommendations for tucking LeoLines on Etsy is pretty good, but you do need something to take measurements with.

golden plover
grand hearth
#

I hate that my genetics for facial hair are so shitty!!! Raahhhhh!!!!!!

#

Sometimes I gotta be
Option 1: grow out what shitty facial hair you have even if it looks messy and no one mistakens you for a woman
Option 2: clean face but higher chance of being misgendered

elder saffron
#

Rogaine can help with that I think?

candid ore
bronze ocean
#

i agree with this personally but also that shit doesn't look swag past the age of 20 😭

sudden zephyr
magic verge
#

#1025645033325608970 message yeah here's my blurb about minoxidil/rogaine

#

the only thing about minoxidil is that it's a long-term commitment. any hair growth you experience as a result of using it will fall out if you stop taking minoxidil

carmine cobalt
#

also i just started the process of getting on t this morning with a consultation : )

ripe burrow
carmine cobalt
#

real

ripe burrow
#

thanks so much for the info 💜 i appreciate it a lot as someone whos still in the closet from my family

ripe burrow
winter comet
#

i have a patch of hair that grows under my chin and my stache is kinda visible if i don't shave it (i should probably get examined for PCOS or something)

#

it's really annoying bc i don't want facial hair

molten kite
#

Just took my first dose of e

elder saffron
#

Nice!!

misty harness
winter comet
#

an angel gains wings every time someone gets their first dose of e

balmy pond
elder saffron
#

🫠 I hate how my endo gives off the vibe that she doesnt wanna be doing this during my telehealth call

magic verge
#

i don't understand why some people go into healthcare just to end up acting like we're inconveniencing them by seeking out their services

elder saffron
#

She brought up my E levels being high again and was like "can you tell me whats going on with that?" in such a weird tone. Like. Isnt that your job to tell me what could be going on with that???

#

💀 Like Im honestly thinking of just contacting Plume and asking if I can get someone else in the future

magic verge
#

why is she asking you like it's your fault 😭

elder saffron
#

💀 literallyyyyyyy

magic verge
#

i think it'd be a good idea to seek care from someone else

elder saffron
#

Yeeaahhhh, once I get my refills shes put in Im gonna be asking for someone else

magic verge
#

speaking of telehealth i recently switched over to folx and apparently my practitioner straight up just... didn't submit the requested info for prior authorization. so it's been like over a week since my intake appointment and i still don't have my testosterone hanger

elder saffron
#

💀 💀 💀 💀

magic verge
#

we live in a society

elder saffron
#

xD fucking apparently

#

Also I love your Kuromi pfp

magic verge
#

tyyy!! i'm matching with my partner this is hers :3

image.png
elder saffron
#

Thats so cute!!!!

magic verge
#

i just realized they joined at the same time as me and the only thing they ever posted was an intro pre-egg crack

elder saffron
#

My Kuromi obsession led to my gf getting into Cinnamoroll xD if only she ended up liking Melody mamamia

magic verge
#

ohhh cinna is so cute but you miss out on all of the matchy matchy stuff so i sympathize 😔

#

my partner and i have ummm

#

matching keychains that are kuromi and my melo and they're magnetic so they stick together

elder saffron
#

Thats so adorable

magic verge
#

they started E recently too iamloling

#

it's only been a couple weeks but my partner is noticeably happier berrynice

elder saffron
#

Having the correct hormones does wonders A_YukkoDance

grand hearth
#

i dont even go to an endocrinologist. somehow we have a gender-affirminng clinic here of all places and the nurse practitioners take care of that n interpret lab results

#

that said i bring this up because i get the vibe that most endocrinologists have no experience or training with gender affirming care.......

#

a lot of them are probably used to helping with diseases related to other hormone gland dysfunctions

elder saffron
#

When I used to DIY Id see others mentioning how a lot of endos have no idea what theyre doing when it comes to trans stuff specifically so at this point Im not shocked if its true for most

#

The endo I had before I moved was great, but because of laws I had to switch to one in the state Im currently living in

bronze ocean
#

doctors are not really educated on trans healthcare most of the time

elder saffron
#

It sucks

#

Like when I switched to her I was doing .3ml which gave me high levels so shes like ok lets take you down to .25ml, but I guess that still gave me too high of E, but like dont ask me like its my fault?

winter comet
#

ah yes because you are specifically bringing your E levels higher through sheer willpower /s

elder saffron
#

I guess so lmao xD

sudden zephyr
magic verge
#

yes

jagged quiver
sudden zephyr
#

Who's the strongest trans of them all?? Frickin uuh marsha johnson

#

oh wait was Marsha Johnson a trans or just a drag queen

#

oh wait I can look it up I forgot

jagged quiver
#

idk i dint know as much about trans history as i should

winter comet
#

she was both

#

which is why it's kind of mind blowing when people talk about trans drag performers like they're new

candid ore
#

she also identified as gay which is cool

next harbor
#

yesss another win for the gays

winter comet
#

i feel like the kind of gays who get mad that cis women or afab people are doing feminine drag are also often the kind that think transfem drag queens are "cheaters" or otherwise don't belong in drag because apparently the goal of drag is to take someone who is "unpassable" as a woman (a cis man in their expectation) and transform into a "passable" character of one, and these types of gays are usually overly comfortably uneducated on the history of queerness

#

like there is a lot of overlap in our community
there are so many experiences that are pressured to be erased just because someone's label changed

#

it's always been messy and more amorphous than a lot of us wanna admit because then where goes your sense of self if not neatly compartmentalized

#

(which is a cishet binary expectation in itself)

final heart
#

That’s all these fucking governments and shit do, is control their people by torturing them instead of letting them do their thing

candid ore
#

i love the rainbow six siege lore comics they had no real reason to show tubarao top surgery but they did RAHHH 🔥 (this is from 2 years ago though)

image.png
elder saffron
#

Oh wow thats neat

#

I didnt know R6S had a trans guy, I just knew about Osa so I guess that tells you how long its been since Ive played lol

sudden zephyr
#

eeh more of like 4 or 5

#

Just like how Apex has its couples

#

And cod I forgot cod has a lot of lesbians but like two gay dudes

elder saffron
#

I honestly didnt know CoD had any lgbtq rep, but to be fair I only played multiplayer for BO2 and BO6 so like any lore stuff I have zero knowledge about

sudden zephyr
#

Mw2019 had a gay dude but his bio was changed to not fit it oddly enough

#

like instead of lover it says best friend

elder saffron
#

Ah yes just friends, a classic

sudden zephyr
#

I think cold war Samantha is a potential Lesbian ?

#

Her relation with gray and how gray talks about her seems a bit lovely

#

Are pangender and Gender fluid similar at all

misty harness
#

famous non binary war criminal simulator call of duty black ops cold war or whatever

hallow bronze
winter comet
#

some libs are like this now

candid ore
#

actually i think twitch is bi too but im unsure

#

i know she had a thing wirh a woman at some point bur that's all

digital geyser
digital geyser
# sudden zephyr Are pangender and Gender fluid similar at all

only a little imo. genderfluid imo is a bit of an umbrella term, as like nonbinary some ppl just use it but others like myself use microlabels under it (genderfaun, so my fluidity goes only between man, masc nonbinary gender feelings and neutral, i never go anywhere near feminine). for some genderfluid ppl i can imagine they do feel like they can be all genders in their spectrum, but for others i imagine its different, e.g someone might feel like they go from just man to woman. also someone could potentially have pangender as a gender they are fluid to. pangender is all about feeling all at once and i’m sure there is variety there too and perspectives that would also consider themselves genderfluid, but the main difference is that fluidity. pangender isn’t inherently fluid, genderfluid is. genderfluidity isn’t being all your genders at once, pangender definitionally is (again i hesitate to prescribe what someone’s identity should have to be, at the end of the day these are just words we use to describe experiences that we truly can never experience the same as someone else but i’m going off of definitions and personal experience as someone who is under the genderfluid umbrella ig)

#

(also. i dont like using genderfluid as my label bc ngl i dont like the flag, but also genderfaun just fits me better and tbh in most contexts i just say i’m a trans man or a nonbinary trans man anyway since that gets the point across)

digital geyser
#

and if anyone tries to tell you how to identify you can tell them to eff off :)

#

like being a nonbinary trans man sure as hell sounds contradictory and yk what idc it explains me perfectly if i cant be arsed to explain genderfaun

#

i think it also gets easier to be fluid and fucky with labels once you’ve been queer in irl queer spaces for a while

winter comet
#

yeah like i always say i'm "functionally nonbinary" because i do not care to adhere to binary masculinity but i don't really rep the flag or "introduce" my gender as nonbinary
it's simply just an accurate descriptor
i just kinda go for transmasc more than anything but i do tend to condense myself down to man for sake of ease

#

thing in man's clothing

digital geyser
#

i like transmasc but idk something about calling myself a man just goes harder yk? i think its bci. get they/themmed a lot more than he/himmed so i’m trying to be more like “hi i’m basically a dude”

#

bc ik if i had been on T or if i was amab but the same identity people wouldn’t perceive me as girl lite they/them like they do rn

winter comet
#

i pretty much barely talk about the fact that i'm bigender because it means absolutely nothing to anyone but me since i'm not really the usual type

digital geyser
#

from

winter comet
#

healthcord

digital geyser
#

what is that

winter comet
#

health the band

#

known for hit song "DSM-V"

#

and others

grand hearth
#

you can also click on those little tags and if it's not a private server it shows you

winter comet
#

its possible he didn't know it was a band bc the preview is crazy

digital geyser
#

yeah no. ididnt lol

#

i saw “mpreg” “furry” and HEALTH in big capitals

#

didnt rlly explain a lot

magic verge
#

that's health for you

#

music for sad horny people

digital geyser
#

but ty for ur explanaition lol

#

good niche

winter comet
#

if you know anything about health mpreg furry music sad horn says it all

#

they call their music "c*m metal"

magic verge
#

tangential to the larger convo topic my friend and i were discussing how our gender kind of works in "layers" and we are both poc so some of the gender feels trapped behind people's preconceived notions of us as nonwhite people. they're also fat and the "ideal/common" image people have of a non-binary person is a skinny white person, so it feels like if they try to present in a certain way they're not really afforded that perception because they're fat and black

#

i feel like a lot of us try to condense our gender into something easily understood for the masses but yeah it gets easier to get freaky with it if you surround yourself with folks who are openminded and understanding

winter comet
#

genders are like onions

#

also yeah i'm wasian but i feel the weight of (the american perceptions of) east asian womanhood and manhood being applied to me based on how "racialized" i am in a given environment
absolutely not comparable to how black people's genders are prescribed by nonblack people tho

#

i also feel like the jokey in-community stereotypes skew so damn white
like at least in the nerdier sphere i inhabit people think all trans women are tall lanky and white with a cat fursona or some kind of programming skill and that's a totally fine thing to be, like i know a lot of girls like this but to assume that's for everyone is exclusionary in its own way

magic verge
#

i loathe the stereotype that every transfem is nerdy white and skinny

#

i think the culture around skinniness and equating it with desirability and "cuntiness" within queer culture is really toxic

winter comet
#

not saying that all people who listen to cavetown are white but i don't relate to the every single trans guy listens to cavetown as a rite of passage joke alkfsjgfkl

#

that one is way more benign though i know

magic verge
#

i do not care for cavetown

winter comet
#

i've never heard him and from what i've heard his music described as i don't really plan on checking him out but yknow what good for him for being a visible transmasc artist

#

not being short is also kind of a funny thing when you're a trans dude bc i'm not short to other trans men, to some i'm even tall
but in the grand scheme of things i'm average height

#

and average height to cis men equals short bc apparently you MUST be 6 foot

#

6 foot or short king for life

magic verge
#

my dad is like two inches taller than me and i'm 5'1

#

#pinoypride

winter comet
#

the metric for 6 foot being "normal" minimum height for men is kinda rooted in whiteness

#

in general i think the fixation on heights and superiority is so wild

#

that's why we get short cis dudes acting up

winter comet
#

my mom is 5'2

#

i middled out

magic verge
#

love that for you

winter comet
#

my dream height is 3 inches higher

#

simply 3

magic verge
#

a modest ask

winter comet
#

5'10 is all i ask

#

it's for functionality too i want just a little more reach

magic verge
#

i think one of my transmasc friends wears insoles to make himself like two inches taller

#

when i was in the phase of my gender journey where i was really obsessed with a very binary masculine vision for myself i had really bad height dysphoria and then i stopped caring after a while

candid ore
#

playing intel in siege 🎉🎉
voice dysphoria mamamia

magic verge
#

my partner got aneurism iv for me and i want to play it more often but the voice dysphoria takes hold of me so i just play muted

#

wildly shaking my head around to communicate

winter comet
#

im taller than a lot of presumably cis men i pass in a store so if people think i'm "short because of my female feminine girl skeleton" then they're stupid bc there are short and tall people of every gender and sex

magic verge
#

they're probably also racist

#

i agree that the idea that "men must be 6 foot or taller to be actual men" is very white

winter comet
#

pretty much anyone who is obsessed with differential sex characteristics is laying in bed with white supremacy

#

"HER CLAVICLE IS TOO STRAIGHT, SHE'S A MAN"
hey guy, have some fun. smile. have you ever heard of like. eating jam on toast or dogspotting

#

(i pulled that example out of my ass btw i don't know what kind of clavicle transvestigators consider feminine and idc)

magic verge
#

insert some bullshit about nose bridge/eyebrow ridge/hands/jawline here

#

they always focus on ethnic features too isn't that interesting

final heart
#

I think the prison of flesh binds us to traditional behaviors

#

We are what we choose to be regardless of our physical forms

magic verge
#

imo it's more so that we've decided to assign morality/gender/etc to biological traits that have nothing to do with that

winter comet
#

i grow a patch of hair under my chin and im not on t watch the transvestigators get at me

#

i should prob get checked for pcos tho

magic verge
#

prolly

winter comet
#

despite being a dude it's not gender affirming to grow this patch it's annoying

winter comet
magic verge
#

i bring a sort of "gendered traits that we popularly consider male/female are a product of colonialism and racism" energy to the function that racist queers don't like

winter comet
#

real

#

i bring a "stop subjecting yourselves and others to a microbinary" energy that "women and nonbinary people" (but not amab nonbinary people and also the trans women have to be feminine to our nebulous standards) queers dont like

magic verge
#

i think transfems should just be allowed to run people over with cars if they feel like it

final heart
#

I think everyone should be allowed to do that

magic verge
winter comet
#

but then if youre afab but are on t and have a beard and a hairy chest youre not their kind of afab

#

this is why i loathe people using agab as a shorthand for what kind of person they are/their gender

#

there are amab people with vaginas and afab people with penises
groundbreaking news

magic verge
#

right like i think we had a convo before about how using "afab" and "amab" as nouns is weirdo behavior

winter comet
#

yep

#

to be charitable i very often see younger queers do it

#

but they gotta learn

#

or queers who arent that far along on their self realized journey but often youth overlaps with that

magic verge
#

yeah i can afford some understanding for folks who are not really used to using the language but definitely there are queers who just refuse to unpack the bioessentialism that has been hammered into them by society

winter comet
#

definitely
bc it benefits them

#

or they THINK it does rather

#

it benefits their worldview, to be more accurate

magic verge
#

right right. i don't have sympathy for these types of people lol especially when they're using it to do (trans)misogyny but woke

#

sorry but the powers that be don't like you much either you're just unwittingly a tool for them

winter comet
#

i am paraphrasing smth i read from another person but transmascs and nonbinary people who are willing to be seen as "failed women" by society if it means sticking it to trans women fuckin suck

magic verge
#

REAL

candid ore
#

ljke no im still going to get made fun of to deathfor being and 5' man

winter comet
winter comet
#

oh my god i'm taller than pete wentz.

magic verge
winter comet
magic verge
winter comet
#

sorry i pete wentzed it

winter comet
#

I Dont Like It When We Are Not About Me head ass

#

its like saying you face racism bc youre white and in an interracial marriage

#

which my dad thinks

magic verge
#

im

#

help.

#

fucking macaulay culkin type shit

winter comet
#

LITERALLY

magic verge
#

NOT ONLY THAT IT'S LIKE. THAT'S THE WORST THING YOU'VE EVER BEEN TOLD?

#

EVER???

winter comet
#

im sad because im not chiefly oppressed by this hierarchy

#

i think something a lot of us transmasc and otherwise not amab or transfem people need to digest is that a lot of our issues are funneled through transfems first if that makes sense

#

its like a splatter effect

magic verge
#

no yeah i get ya

winter comet
#

im not saying we dont face unique issues

#

but i think a lot of the convo is like. at the expense of transfems

#

and it dont have to be

magic verge
#

defo

#

learning more abt transfeminism and transmisogyny has helped me both unpack learned biases as well as be a better friend to the transfems in my life 🙂‍↕️

winter comet
#

for example i think the reproductive convo fucken sucks bc transmascs who are physically able to conceive are assumed to not want options for carrying children
but its not the fault of trans women that cis women and a lot of gendercop trans men want us out of the equation

#

theres also reproductive rights issues for trans women as well

magic verge
#

definitely, transmascs are subject to both misogyny and transphobia and it's ignorant to exclude them from these sorts of convos. but i think a) some struggle to understand that there are people in the community who face different/more overt forms of oppression b) some aren't willing to acknowledge that transmisogyny is a unique experience and crossover of two material and systemic oppressive forces in the same vein of misogynoir, and when you bring up that this is the case they act like you just told them that transmascs don't face issues ever

#

intersectionalism is important folks

winter comet
magic verge
#

danny idk if you experience something similar but i feel already somewhat alienated by the "wider transmasc community" online by virtue of being a poc/disabled/etc but i feel like a LOT of tguys are falling into the trap of becoming raging misogynists esp towards trans women while thinking they have nothing to unpack by virtue of being afab, and it's been putting me off even more

final heart
#

I think people are gonna suck regardless of what identity they give themselves, it’s always best to look for people who you personally enjoy instead of a wider community of vast variety

magic verge
#

i mean yeah but it's just a phenomenon i've been observing amongst trans men specifically speaking as a trans man. and i don't really seek out online friendships anymore but i hate like. going on reddit to gather personal anecdotes on HRT and stuff and then there's just fifty posts going "trans women suck"

winter comet
#

i also never touch trans reddits with a 50 foot pole

#

my life is happier this way

magic verge
#

i have learned that lesson now.

#

i do not see it

#

i will pretend it does not exist (reddit)

winter comet
#

i hate the trauma induced circlejerking no one seems to want to reconcile or heal or want OTHERS to heal
like not shitting on people for having trauma to begin with but the unchecked lashing out and lack of regard for harm

#

its what ive seen with tmascs for so long

#

i want to be better than the society that raised me for myself and others. sorry you don't care to do the same

magic verge
#

trauma induced circlejerking is a good way to put it lmao

final heart
magic verge
#

i think it's a common tmasc experience to have been subjected to awful shit especially at the hands of cis men and to be averse towards the possibility of being capable of also perpetuating misogyny, but nobody is immune to causing harm

#

we unfortunately live in a racist colonial cisheteropatriarchy so we've all had these ideas hammered into our brains from birth

#

i do think limiting my interactions and keeping a tight circle of trans folks of many different backgrounds who try to dedicate themselves to continuing to educate themselves is good for my mental

#

like. it's just not good for anybody to continuously look at posts or people who are inflammatory and awful

final heart
#

That’s what social media tends to do to you which is why I never go on twitter

#

I just join toxic discord communities and find like one decent person among them cause there’s not a lot of great people where I live

magic verge
#

this is the only large discord server that i actively participate in lolol

#

besides that i have no social media presence

final heart
#

Neither do I

#

I do participate in bigger servers, rarely

winter comet
#

he's shorter than many of his fans. never give up

final heart
#

Fallout boy’s music sucks too

winter comet
#

i did not ask

final heart
#

I did not care

winter comet
#

great neither do i

final heart
#

Excellent!

candid ore
final heart
#

Short kings

winter comet
magic verge
#

even if it isn't super common/visible in media there are more guys are around our height than you think, both cis and trans. i know it won't make the height dysphoria magically go away but nobody is doomed to never pass because of height

winter comet
#

yep

#

height is less gendered than people make it

magic verge
#

there are also shoes with thicker platforms/insoles for height etc if you do need that boost to feel more confident

digital geyser
# magic verge tangential to the larger convo topic my friend and i were discussing how our gen...

ok so i’m white and i think that the following are nowhere near directly comparable to the experience of being bipoc, while all are marginalisations i do still have a fuck ton of white privilege and want to acknowledge that before i continue
i think a similar thing happens for us fat and disabled folks who are trans. i see a lot of trans ppl in my communities who are plus sized, yet the main stream interpretation of trans people is thin like our cis counterparts. and there are struggles that come with being in a bigger body and trans, for example my body fat is distributed in like a very obviously fem curvy way that if i were thinner maybe it would be easier to hide. or like balancing gender affirmation with whats flattering on my body is hard. not to mention medical barriers i wont get into. being fat can add a whole other level to an identity as a trans person
and also for disabled ppl, specifically autistic ppl (altho ik so many disabled trans ppl with other disabilities and things like mobility aids can add to gender stuff) who are often seen as unable to make the decision to transition by terfism, our perception of gender is often nuanced and complex. i see many people who identify as their birth gender as autistic people purely out of like “well this doesn’t really fit but nothing really fits and its what society expects”. and thats not my exact experience but parts of my internal perception of my gender are shaped by autism and some of my behaviours i feel like would be less acceptable if i was cis/medically transitioned

#

i hope that makes sense i’m in “i want to go to sleep but can’t mode”

#

and when i say similar i do just mean in “my gender is tied to my marginalisation” not everything else you said

#

i think you did touch on the weight tho

magic verge
# digital geyser ok so i’m white and i think that **the following are nowhere near directly compa...

yeah definitely i get what you're saying, what you said wrt how your expression interacts with being fat echoes what my friend talked about. on the topic of being disabled there's a transmasc person who got top surgery and posts abt it on social media but has cerebral palsy and conservatives got on his ass saying that this was abuse etc etc even though cerebral palsy doesn't mean intellectual disability and he's a grown ass person who can make his own decisions on his body. i'm an ambulatory wheelchair user and full time cane user and i have noticed myself that people instinctually seem to want to infantilize me when i'm in the chair, so if they hear my partner referring to me as "he" etc they generally assume that i'm a child 😭

#

and like, i bring up the intellectual disability thing because ableist people assume all disabled folks are that but i also think intellectually disabled trans people should be able to transition

#

the thing you said abt how autistic folks experience gender is why i love talking to fellow autistic ppl about how they experience gender

grand hearth
#

Maybe see if there’s any financial aid for on campus housing…..honestly having time away from your folks like that can make it easier to really spread your wings and figure out what you want for yourself wrt self expression
If not then staying with your folks for now is reasonable, ofc

true elm
elder saffron
#

If anyone recalls me talking about my endo through Plume, I just got a message from my care team telling me she is no longer with them lmao

#

The trash took themselves out it seems

#

Sucks though cause I might have to wait to get my refills. Idk if I can still get the ones under her name or not

winter comet
#

hoping ur new endo is nicer and less stupid bunpray

elder saffron
#

I hope so too. I have a video call this Tuesday with my new one so fingers crossed

pulsar mortar
grand hearth
#

yeah i like to call myself a "man-thing," not a man

winter comet
#

yea it seems a lot of people id as nonbinary and that's their Thing but for me its like i id with nonbinary if that makes sense
i don't personally like the term demiboy for myself either so i just kinda shrug

digital geyser
#

yeah thas fair, labels are what you want to use yk

#

i hate when ppl try to dictatechow someone else identifies

winter comet
#

yeah when people suggest labels im like
hey im old i was alive and out when people were forging the mogai wiki

#

if i don't use something it's not because i don't know it exists it's because it doesn't apply to me in the way you think it does via cursory knowledge of me as a person

final heart
#

I don’t know how to explain this properly.

I don’t wish to be gendered, I guess. In fact if I could be “non-human” I would but there’s the restraint of physical reality.
I don’t know what to identify as so I’m just a cis male,
As of now I refer to myself as “just a dude” but I guess I’d like to be void of gender?
Idk, I feel like I’m weird for saying this.

dull raft
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youre not weird at all! i feel really similar

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i describe myself as a "dog boy" bc thats what feels closest to what i am

candid ore
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dog boy realness 🔥😛

dull raft
final heart
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Genuine question I’m struggling to find identity

dull raft
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idk honestly. i just look at them and think "yooo thats so me"

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it could also be my therianthropy intertwining with my gender

final heart
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Oh I see