transdome

[frozen breach]

binding fucking sucks honestly i will never judge transmasc people for not binding because it is truly miserable

[digital geyser]

real i rarely bind my body is in enough pain as it is

i just wear a lot of baggy clothing instead which is more comfy anyway, and considering i dont pass as it is even with a binder there’s no point

[sturdy sluice]

why are cis people

(as in why are they the way they often are, not why do they exist)

[digital geyser]

first of all real istg. second ur name is awesome as a welsh person i’m going rn

[valid sun]

honestly binding hurts for yall? i find it uncomfortable sometimes especially the full tank ones but rarely painful. is it a pain tolerance thing or maybe just different body shapes dont handle binders as well as others (like you mentioned)? and probably brand dependent to a degree? this is a genuine question

needs to be taken into account to design more comfortable binders without having to sacrifice how flat it makes you. cause most binders come in a general shape and i wonder if making more custom shapes would solve this. i bind on average 8-10 hours a day for work/school/public but at night i dont bind and wear baggy clothes (no issue there). im relatively on the bigger side (chest wise) and chubby but all the fat is at my stomach and not my ribcage

[digital geyser]

for me after a while of wearing it yes, but i also have bad back pain and i struggle with distance walking, its like a combination of things

this might be bc i used to overbind sometimes, but not that much, i dont think my binder is too small but maybe it is idk

i'm also chubby and i have most of my weight in my hips and thighs

[valid sun]

i definitely believe you on the walking part esp cause it's harder to breathe with it on even if youre adjusted to the compression

in my experience at least

[digital geyser]

yeah

i also overheat really easily anyway and it makes that worse

i basically only wear it for larp

there's no point on normal days at uni

[valid sun]

bro i swear to god my body has become like literal lava cause testosterone or something i CANNOT cool down

im always warm and i live in a place where 90 degree weather lasts for 8/12 months of the year

i size up on my binders usually and that might be a factor

usually im in between two sizes so i go the larger one

[bronze ocean]

yeah testosterone will do that lol

[valid sun]

it raises the temp of your internal body temp right

?

i heard that somewhere

[grand hearth]

no, it just changes how your body feels about it,mainly

Think of it like a thermostat. women or people with high estrogen content will typically have a higher set threshold for what is "hot."
men or people with high testosterone content typically have a lower set threshold.
So at the same temperature, what feels sweltering for a person with a lot of testosterone might not feel so bad for the body of someone with a lot of estrogen

this is the same rationale for why menopausal women get hot flashes--they have lower estrogen content as they age, which makes them more sensitive to temp change

[winter comet]

ive been out since age 14 and binding 8-10 hrs a day for about 7 of those 11 years
i dont regularly bind as much anymore as a result

i wouldnt say its on average painful but it's not great
i have a looser binder now

i've seen in the historical clothing sphere some people are working on a type of binder w a rigid front and lacing similar to stays which i feel like would be better since the rigidity would do more for the silhouette than the compression unlike binders that are so soft they Have to compress a lot and you can loosen them after a few hours
they're still being tested but considering historical stays have not mangled anyone i think it would probably be fine

rn my binder is an old gc2b one that's a size too big and it's mesh backed but i still find it kind of non breathable

[sturdy sluice]

:3

its kind of crazy tho bc when i picked it i also thought it would be perfectly fine for people to pronounce, but pretty much everyone who im out to or who ive spoken to online has pronounced it like 'seridwen'

[digital geyser]

😔

if it helps my actual name has a completely different pronunciation in american english than british english and it drives me insane everytime i hear the american pronunciation in reference to someone with my name

[sturdy sluice]

im glad i only briefly considered eiddwen and a couple of others that would have been butchered without fail tbh

[sturdy sluice]

despair~1

[digital geyser]

nerfed by people not pronouncing names properly

my deadname gets butchered even worse....that was a sign

[winter comet]

[sighs in easy korean name that gets butchered]

[grand hearth]

thankfully I kept my shortened name but now it’s more masculine and maybe a little more difficult to pronounce

[valid sun]

ive been binding for about as long but i guess i never had any unhealthy binding habits tjat i know a lot of my friends did

like sleeping with the binder on or whatever cause a friend drilled it into my head not to when i was like 12

i also used full tank binders for 4 years, switched to half tank for 2 years and then went back to using full tank (well really both). the full tanks might actually be better because of the distribution of pressure but idk

[frozen breach]

well for me it's also more of a discomfort than a pain, but because of sensory issues the line between discomfort and pain is often thin for me

also i've always had a bit of a belly (and on t that only got worse), so the binders would constantly ride up. i tried half tank and full tank, and honestly i had the same problem with both of them

[frozen breach]

ugh this is so real

i already ran warm (probably combination of being fat and potentially having elevated t levels pre-hrt), but now it's just so awful

[winter comet]

i could never sleep with a binder on

i think tank binders actually feel more comfy for me

[inland schooner]

the only super cheap ones near me are church owned and its because they dont have to pay rent

[digital geyser]

i mostly shop on vinted for cheap stuff, all my gender affirming stuff is from there

ik they aren't an option in some countries tho

[winter comet]

afaik vinted is more on the european market in the us we usually use depop or mercari usa i think

but i p much never buy clothes online

a chain thrift opened near me i should scope out how much of a rip off it is

[magic verge]

let us know your findings...

i know there are a good amount of sellers on vinted in the us but yeah depop and mercari are the more popular ones. i just found out recently about curtsy... i guess it's newer/smaller

[winter comet]

i got neopets plushies for my sis on mercari and the poor seller got fucked over by usps twice and it took over a month to get them so i gave them a 5 star anyway bc they did all they were supposed to as the seller

[magic verge]

yeah it sucks when a package gets sent off and then it gets sucked into the void 😭

speaking of this is what happened to my packer 💀 it wasn't lost in shipping or anything but i misplaced it somewhere in my room and i can't find it anywhere

i should be able to find it again once the room is all neat and tidy, i like it a lot bc it's like... "biblically accurate" angel themed lol

[digital geyser]

that goes hard woah

[digital geyser]

ah thats fair. i tried depop in the uk and nah vinted has been a lot better as a plus sized person

but again thats from a uk perspective lol

i'd put the european union flag but rip brexit

[grand hearth]

I think about this often wrt packers

[magic verge]

they call me johnny glass dick, on account of my glass dick

[magic verge]

yeah the artist also does a lot of other cool monster-themed packers too!! if you're interested i can dm you a link to their shop :0 i would put it here but they also make. toys. so

[digital geyser]

please do send, spoilered if thats ok but!!

[hallow bronze]

My mom lost my tits....

And I don't really know how to ask for them back

[magic verge]

oh that SUCKS

[next mason]

PLEASE TELL ME IM NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO EVER FELT LIKE THIS
My sister just gendered me correctly in front of my parents (who misgender me) and I can't help but feel weird as fuck.
I never properly came out to her, I know that she knows I'm trans and that's pretty much it
I know that I should be happy since she's the first person in my family gendering me correctly but still, it feels so weird and I feel uncomfortable and I can't really understand why. Maybe it's because I'm not used to what just happened? Or maybe it's guilt because I can't help but feel like I'm forcing people to gender me correctly
Did anyone had a similar experience when being gendered correctly for the first time by someone close to you?

[sterile verge]

i can kinda relate

first time my friends at uni used my chosen name i felt really weird

it felt kinda uncomfortable

and it kinda fueled my doubts of ohno am i even trans what if im wrong

but i guess change is always uncomfy

but especially if you never properly came out to your sister i can imagine it feels weird if she suddenly genders you correctly

even more so if your parents dont gender you correctly

[digital geyser]

yeah it felt weird when i first started using he/him but eventually i got used to it

sudden change when it has been one way your whole life is scary

[next mason]

Phew okay tysm!! Glad it's a common experience :]

[winter comet]

i think despite the stereotype that we're all "pushy" and "militant" a lot of us are very conditioned to just prepare to have our boundaries and identities ignored so when people respect it it paradoxically does kind of feel guilt inducing
but also yeah change is really strange even if it's good change

[digital geyser]

yeah

[frozen breach]

danny this is the best way i've ever heard this phrased

[frozen breach]

the guilt and discomfort is so fucking real

i used to have a visceral negative reaction to he/him pronouns, especially back when i was pre-everything and still had to present female a lot of the time

[digital geyser]

this game has a pronoun slider

https://tenor.com/view/pronouns-starfield-yapping-rage-spitting-facts-gif-11981307528457578648

(i think this is rlly cool by the way lol)

you can also customise all of ur pronouns

[honest lake]

this is actually fire

or thats what people infected by the mind virus would say

[last pilot]

woke game ehhh… drag queens ehhh p-pronounce grrrraaaaaa 😠😠‼️ /j

[digital geyser]

the woke mob is coming for your PRONOUNS

[balmy pond]

y'all need to see the pronoun options in Lunacid ongod

[sterile verge]

MODERN DAY CALIFORNIAN SHIT

or as my old landlord (i moved out this week thznk god) would say "woke religie" (religion of woke)

[golden plover]

As opposed to "religion of the ZZzzz"

[sterile verge]

lmao

thats my religion i eep

[winter comet]

oh i forgot
i once jokingly made a he/it flag

i should remake it

[magic verge]

hell yeah

[worldly lance]

y'all idk what to do 🙂‍↕️ im scheduled for a hysterectomy on the 8th and i just a call from my obgyn's office and someone just lmk my insurance isn't gonna approve me because i need another letter from a doctor saying that my bipolar diagnosis isnt gonna counteract with the surgery- my psychiatrist just broke up with me the beginning of this month idk we haven't spoken since i just got a letter notifying me i was being discharged bc of a no show

[grand hearth]

ok, so it sounds like you need a Surgery Readiness Letter. In this situation, I would do the following:

1. Follow up with psychiatrist office. Clinics are often strained for resources, so a lot of times you won’t hear from them if you don’t go out of your way to call them. I would inquire about the discharge; maybe see if there’s a way to get back in. Sometimes putting a face/voice to a name and number on a screen makes a big difference

2. Ask your PCP. It’s possible that your primary care provider can write this letter for you. If not, they could probably have ideas as to where else to refer you

3. Look for a different psych office on your own. This isn’t ideal, but it may be the last resort if neither of those work. You could tell them that your primary concern or reason is to get a psych eval for surgery readiness, along with needing a new provider for meds etc

It’s a really tough situation to be in, but I think there could be ways to still get that letter

[worldly lance]

thanks i appreciate the advice

[misty harness]

took a month for my prior auth for patches to get resolved, and now my insurance is changing next week. sigh

[last pilot]

one month on t

[misty harness]

fuck yeah let's go

[grand hearth]

https://tenor.com/view/haha-gif-489706024751614926

[winter comet]

[next mason]

https://tenor.com/view/boba-gay-spit-spit-out-drink-seg5642-gif-21787530

[winter comet]

peels the seal top off the t boba and shoves a spoon into it to eat it like soup

ive seen people try to peel the top off of boba after getting it so my boss instructed me to give white people drinks in smoothie cups

like he specified white people

[winter comet]

to be fair to him most of the customers that yelled at me because they ordered boba but didn't know how to drink it were of the uh
european american crowd

but i ignored his instructions

and just said "stab the sharp end of the straw into the film on top" real quick when handing over drinks

catch a man a boba and he will eat for a day. teach a man to boba and he will boba for life

[golden plover]

Wish I had my laptop rn so I could make one of those in the style of these

[next harbor]

fuck I love this

It is also my T day! I had my trannyversary recently. Cheers to the gains n hair 🦵

[winter comet]

is that the anniversary of when you came out or when you realized you were trans or when you started hrt

[next harbor]

Yes :)

[winter comet]

all of the aboved

i think i came out in like early 2014 but i figured out i was trans earlier

so maybe 2012 or 2013
maybe earlier

[next harbor]

Fuck yeah that's an awesome year to come out

[winter comet]

im 👴

[next harbor]

Listen I am not necessarily young either, it's just hard to know when I rly stopped vibing with "girl" since I never rly did unless it was a bad bitch performance

Haha your journey is important either way c:

[winter comet]

it started becoming apparent to me that i only liked being embodying femininity if it was a very specific way i could not attain long term but masculinity had a much wider range that felt comfortable to me and then i realized oh yeah transgenderism

it's so funny because all of the adults in my life grilled me on if i was sure i wasn't just a masculine girl

my english teacher in freshman year of all people like miss i see you for an hour a day who cares even if i were to try out different gender identities and realize after all i was a cis woman

at least i tried

[winter comet]

incredible

shadow the hedgehog advocates for proper boba procedure

[misty harness]

lol

[tropic zenith]

@sudden zephyr

[sudden zephyr]

Ohh cool

[balmy pond]

Just canvassed the original singer of Gwar

Joey Slutman says gay and trans rights

[misty harness]

wtf what lol

[balmy pond]

Yeah Joe Annaruma look it up

[misty harness]

I'm fucking dead

[balmy pond]

Yeah he was like "I dunno how much I can donate I'm moving to Nicaragua soon"

But yeah old punks are the shit

Love my city

[honest lake]

People should I get an epilator are the fire?

I just know they hurt in the beginning but you skin stays smooth really long

And also should I get silly makeup or normal makeup

Currently spending my Christmas money on gender euphoria like the founding fathers intended

[magic verge]

i haven't had any experience with epilators, i mostly use an electric shaver cuz i get ingrowns really easily i have been looking into at-home IPL devices which are pricey but people have good experiences with them... they only work well if you have dark hair and fair to medium skin though

[honest lake]

Damnn ok

[magic verge]

whatever you think you will enjoy putting on the most graphic liner and bright eyeshadow and stuff are fun but i feel like you need a lot of practice to be able to do those easily. i generally stick to the same eye look most of the time and sometimes i switch up the colors depending on what i'm wearing cuz i always take too long to get ready :p

[honest lake]

Yeah right

I think I’m gonna stay a bit silly just for the sake of being silly :D

[magic verge]

yayyy i support silly!

[honest lake]

Who isn’t?

[next harbor]

Also epilators suck but I've heard u can get used to it easily, similar to eyebrow shaping/plucking

Have used one before! They work for most ppl

It's just like idk most ppl treat it like other niche beauty items if they're not inclined to it at all, putting them under some cabinet (never seen again)

[honest lake]

Yeah but I think I’m gonna try it cuz I’m tired of constantly having to shave my legs

And I also want to try it with the hairs that go from your bellybutton to your shlong since I have personal beef with them

[next harbor]

Yes !! This is super good, I'm very excited for ur results. Would you like to see if I can get a recommendation from my previous partner? She had one she liked iirc. Also if I were u I'd peep tips on them somewhere for non leg hair bc I know the body can get real damaged real fast by doing that wrong, similar to waxing but not as bad

[honest lake]

Thanks that would be super helpful!! :)

Also I’ll y’all about the results

[misty harness]

they def hurt the first few times but you'll adjust quick. Ive used one for like four years now and basically never shave anymore. It's good for arms and legs but nowhere more sensitive than that. I def can't handle it on my stomach even though I wish I could lol

[honest lake]

Ok thx

[opaque frost]

im debating on looking into an epilator even as a tmasc :/ got a literal back fringe of hair starting

thanks DAD

[winter comet]

i'm gonna have to probably look into facial hair removal after getting on T because i have very very pale skin and black hair and i don't like facial hair on me

even now i'm pretty fucking hairy so i have a wispy stache and you can see the shadow of it even when it's shaved

not a fan

and i don't use concealer to hide my shadow bc most complexion products feel icky to me

luckily i like my body hair

except when i wear pj pants and after a few hours my leg hairs feel fucked up

iykyk

[grand hearth]

body hair swag

I’m growing facial hair

but I’m trying to manage/trim it as it comes in

Asian genetics pain

It’s getting thicker but it’s taking forever

Speaking of, T time today

[winter comet]

i hope my korean genetics make it so that my beard is forever thin and patchy so i don't have to weedwhack it

i also kind of hope i don't bald a lot but you can't cherrypick on T so it is what it is i'll just have fringe until i die

my bf has a really thick beard

[magic verge]

you can take finasteride and it helps with preventing facial hair growth and balding; obviously not a guarantee and it might also slow other changes associated with DHT

dutasteride does the same but is more potent

[grand hearth]

My hair grows in a lot under my jaw/neck so I have to shave now and then to prevent growing a neckbeard

But ngl it’s kind of fun to need to do that now, kinda affirming

[winter comet]

hopefully i can afford that on top of t once i get some semblance of insurance

i have a little hair under my chin already

there's a patch on the right side that grows in more than my left

i do not enjoy it

[winter comet]

yes very good info

[magic verge]

ofc!! glad i could help ^_^

[inland schooner]

Me when I wear socks for a long amount of time and become sweaty

I only get ingrown hairs around my ankles/calves and around my underwear line and it's like what's wrong with u

[winter comet]

i always say my hairs have been discombobulated when i wear pj pants too long

[grand hearth]

I feel like werewolf with how hairy my legs are

It’s affirming sometimes bc I’ll lift my pant leg and boom, there’s the hair
And then I’ll be like Hell Yeah

[frozen breach]

that's so true

(trans) guys will see this and say "hell yeah"

[next harbor]

hell yeah

[frozen breach]

i remember the first day i noticed there was visible hair on my forearms i literally said "hell yeah" out loud

[grand hearth]

GENTLEMEN…BEHOLD!

also I feel like I really developed man legs shapewise after being on T

[next harbor]

I totally get that. My leg definition is changing but that might also be because I do a bunch of squats most days

The toning is great tho tbh it feels so powerful

[grand hearth]

ikr

i think its also because i have to carry things up like two flights of stairs whenever i get home

esp on grocery days

[next harbor]

Yes omg that's great for ur legs tho

Esp depending on ur t site n method

Also can be awesome for ur core and arms if heavy groceries or the "only one trip" mentality

[grand hearth]

oh yes that is me

[next harbor]

Hell yeah 😎

[honest lake]

speaking about good for your legs im back from skiing in austria and i now feel like i have massive legs and hips

i mean i probably have just by how much everything was hurting when i stood up in the morning

almost couldnt walk 😔

but thats the price you have to pay if you want bigass legs

or hips

[winter comet]

i have broad shoulders to the point where usually if i wear my proper size of a non t-shirt top without sizing up it's tight in the shoulders

so i feel like if i worked out and got on T i could get that mild dorito shape
but i hate working out so

ill just walk around with big shoulders

shout out to the fact i naturally have a relatively flat ass and big shoulders

[honest lake]

same

i got the big ass and realtively wide hip genetics 🔥

and also broad shoulder but i dont really mind

[winter comet]

my korean side is not very curvy so luckily i got that build
i got short legs like my mom tho

short legs and long torso

i look like shit in high waisted clothes

[honest lake]

damn

[winter comet]

luckily i don't like high waisted pants anyway

[honest lake]

genetics go kinda crazy

[honest lake]

yeah i mean if youre trans masc its not that big of a deal anyways or is it?

[winter comet]

i dress mostly utilitarian and masc so i don't touch crop tops or high waisted pants generally

well some transmascs dress more feminine

some of us wear skirts n form fitting clothing like full time almost but i don't so yeah luckily it's not much of a problem for me but if i wanted to experiment i know not to touch the high waisted stuff

[honest lake]

ahh okok

[grand hearth]

I’m like, guy 1 and guy 2

[last pilot]

my voice is getting deeper but the throat pain is killing me

[opaque frost]

voicce getting deeper is awesome

i feel so confident in game lobbies

telling impolite loser chuds to shut the hell up in a deeper voice then them when they bully a new player>>>

im a menace to assholes in l4d2 lobbies cuz im making up for the amt of times little girl me got harassed

https://tenor.com/view/doit-gif-4445196

[next harbor]

inspirational,, I never knew to look at it this way :0

gosh I love transdome

[opaque frost]

transmascs who maybe didn't realize till wayyy later (like teens) i recommend looking back at baby you like a little sister

makes me treat myself with a lottt more kindness

[honest lake]

you have to train it to go ridiculously deep

like corpse or something

i had a phase where i trained like the really deep metal screams it was really fun tbh

you just sound like a toad doing it

[grand hearth]

this is sweet

[winter comet]

https://tenor.com/view/shadow-silver-kick-watch-yo-tone-mf-gif-11000458027331527936

me to child me

actually that's more me to teenage me

something happened to me briefly when i was like 17 where i was basically transcentrist is how i describe it
i'd never called into question the existence of nonbinary people or thought that being trans was a medical condition so i wasn't like a young tmasc who was into kalvin garrah or anyone like that but i was deeply insecure and thought "transmeds are bad but so are people who use microlabels and xenogenders"
luckily i looked inward and realized it's not someone who uses a bunch of labels that was the issue it was me to myself

like fuck respectability politics dude my gender is dracula

i think a lot of people are really up in arms about xenogenders and microlabels because they think it's some sort of intrusion on their way of life but honestly most talk about them is in spaces where they're already the norm or when it's relevant i feel like
like i dont think if you see someone in person theyre gonna tell you their whole deal immediately apropos of nothing but also if they do you can just nod and google it later or ask them what that means for them idk
i personally don't see a need for microlabels in my life unless you count like. maybe how i define my relationship to the aroace spectrum and i think there are some instances where they can be restrictive but overall i think they're more benign than some queers in my boat feel they are

long story short i don't care

[sudden zephyr]

What are micro labels?

[hallow bronze]

really specific/niche labels

[sudden zephyr]

examples?

like if someone were to like call me a slightly chubby long haired trans person?

like that?

[hallow bronze]

not quite

I barely use labels for myself, so idk if this one applies as micro, but a friend identifies as Genderfae which means: "a type of gender identity which is fluid between multiple genders, but never male nor masculine"

[sudden zephyr]

oh so basically just they're gender fluid but don't feel male or masculine?

aah okay I get it now kinda

[hallow bronze]

yeah, some people have layered and complex relationships with their gender and like to define it through real specific labels, other people don't

to each their own

[opaque frost]

honestly a lot of times when talking to people who think im a "RAHH DONT MISGENDER ME!!!!" trans person (and most of the videos of those trans people are folks at their limits/after correcting people over and over anyways!!!) get taken aback when im like "no im not gonna correct the barista saying maam im getting my fucking coffee and leaving"

or when I describe myself in a personal conversation as "Nonbinary Transmasc" people are like "so youre gonna say that in public?"

like in a queer space? sure!! but im not stopping the well-meaning elderly cashier who said i was a "pretty girl" to say "um actualllyy i'm under the nonbinary umbrella with a masc lean." They have no clue what that means!!

If I feel like I have the energy to gently correct the person saying "Oh it's actually sir :0" and I feel like the conversation may last a certain amt of time, but honestly 99% of the time I'm just thinking about what I have to do when I exit a store/the convo

I do feel like there is some inner-work fellow trans folks have to do in the sense that people who aren't "maliciously" (keyword malicious) misgendering you could just be genuinely confused/have a completely different definition of masculinity/femininity/etc. My cis mother has a pixie cut and she get's called sir a lot/gets mistaken for a lesbian. She doesn't take it personally cuz she knows it's a shorter cut lol. Or maybe the person's tired, has their contacts out, or god knows what else

Ofc misgendering can still really hurt, even when you know it's not intentional. There's been times where I've felt my breath catch even when I know it was a whole-hearted misunderstanding. However it is WAY easier to take a few deep breaths after analyzing the situation and realizing something like "yk, that cashier had someone on the store radio in his ear while checking me out, I'm sure he's just overstimulated and doesn't really have time to look up/see me fully"

[opaque frost]

*and this inner-work is easier if you don't deal with purposeful misgendering all the time though, ik living with my "tolerating" dad was rough and made me think most folks were just out to get me

[grand hearth]

ngl I think the image of a trans person being “raaah don’t misgender me” is something perpetuated by right-wingers, since the ~days of yore~ with “SJWs” (did you just assume my gender? etc)

we don’t have to be a “good and nice” trans person for anybody

and like. All within reason of course. Be polite/don’t be rude when correcting people, but just because you’re being polite doesn’t mean you can’t also be firm about it.

there are people who will paint you as the bad guy no matter how nice you are

[opaque frost]

Oh yes this is exactly what I mean! You should correct anyone if you have the time, energy, and want to!

More so I guess it was for folks who struggle with anything regarding if they are “passing enough” even after a lot of time/effort (and let me be clear you do not HAVE to pass. You don’t have to do a damn thing for anyone but yourself!!) It is a preference for me to pass as a cis man in public though, safety reasons. The area I’m is rlly varied but a lot of places near me have older folks who just immediately see long hair = woman. I kept getting really really insecure even though I had visible facial hair and a deeper voice. However after talking to my therapist, having people at least under 50+ start gendering me right, and seeing a multiple fully bearded longhaired metalheads get called ma’am, I realized it wasn’t an “issue” on my side 😭 There is just some folks who genuinely have such outdated/extremely different views on gender presentation

[sudden zephyr]

Cute lil gloves I got a bit ago! I wear these alot at concerts or when i think it'd be cool on the outfit-

It was hard to get a good view cus like I was trying to take a pic and my phone was in my mouth 😭

[golden plover]

I first thought you were making a spiderman pose with your hands

[sudden zephyr]

Hell yeah I should've

Become the uh

Spider-Trans

[lean harbor]

hey gang

heads or tails

[opaque frost]

Tails

[lean harbor]

that's the 7th tails today

[lean harbor]

w

[inland schooner]

I can't lie at this point I'm so chill with myself, misgendering doesn't bother me like I am not misgendered but the other day I was at work and this kady said "give it to the lady" (she was looking down at her kid), looked up and apologised. (I think it was cause my hair was in a hairband (and idk I guess thats a woman thing). Especially if it's funny, nothing can offend me I am above gendered language nothing is serious anymore. It's nice to be at this point

[winter comet]

if im at work im inherently going to be in a position of receiving degradation and giving dishonest presentation so like
sure im a lady for the 2 minutes we are interacting it is as authentic as the "have a nice day" i give you when you leave the checkout counter

[lean harbor]

i couldn't imagine customer service . it sounds so bad every time i hear about it

[winter comet]

so many people turn their brains off every time they walk into a store i swear

[lean harbor]

my boyfriend who's just straight up bro gets misgendered all the time and he does hair . like he can't even walk away he just has to kick people out of his chair

no seriously people have no eyeballs

kind of my reasoning behind just being the clockiest girl in my city lol

i'll be a doll in the club .

even ciswomen act more masc at work anyway

but apparently if i just say

"i'll sue you"

my bosses are a lot more progressive 😘

[inland schooner]

I think that's all great but I can't lie that paragraph was a little incomprehensible

[winter comet]

hairdresser bf gets misgendered all the time
"clockiest girl in my city" = visibly trans
doll = high fem transfem

am i missing anything

[lean harbor]

wait let me lock in

i type the way i talk my fault

ehem

Born To Swim Ocean Is A Fuck Shirt Kill Em All 1989 I Am Fish Man

[sudden zephyr]

what's a "high fem" transfem

[magic verge]

very feminine

[bronze ocean]

smoking weed while being a woman

[paper totem]

its when ur like on top of a mountain and kind of girly about it

[hallow bronze]

it's when you say hello to your girlies

[winter comet]

also idk highly feminine seems kinda explanatory to me

its just when someone is very like conventionally feminine

within their cultural context

[magic verge]

i love it when words mean things

high fem(me) is also exclusively used in a queer context

so maybe it's not something that rose has heard before in conversation

[sudden zephyr]

I figured but I wasn't sure

[misty harness]

all you need to know

[winter comet]

shout out to chainsaw butches

[valid sun]

the original diagram drives me up the wall

[winter comet]

"im a certified level 6 on the high femme to stone butch scale"

i hope to achieve level 7 by summer

[misty harness]

yeah I should note that the "futch scale" is stupid and doesn't actually mean anything (as usual binaries are bullshit)

the dichotomy of "high femme" and "stone butch" is false and rooted in cisnormativity. but that's where most people know the terms from

those terms also have a way longer and more complicated history than the meme chart implies, words mean more than aesthetics, etc

[balmy pond]

Tag yourselves im 3-6

[winter comet]

yeah the futch scale is only useful as memes

[winter comet]

coworker asked me to cover her shift
misnamed me in the email

i get misgendering me but my name is literally set to my actual name on my email

[misty harness]

see you know the chart is bullshit bc I'm definitely rapier girlie but I'm definitely not a 1 either

[balmy pond]

Whatever you say 😏

But fr it's stupid but I love it, I need a sword tatoo

[winter comet]

best tattoo subject is blades

[misty harness]

bladee tattoo....

[misty harness]

but yea same I need an ornate dueling sword wrapped in lavender or azaleas or something fr fr idc how corny it is

[winter comet]

are we at a time where blades and flowers are seen as corny as a tattoo

bc it sounds raw to me

[balmy pond]

||might be cuz its a lesbian thing lol||

[balmy pond]

But yeah fr like a zweihander wrapped in lavender vines

[winter comet]

i clown transmascs for our cliches but lesbian cliches are cool to me

like atp lesbians to me are like coworkers i made good friends with but i left the job and just wave to them when i see them

[pure finch]

i’m the katana..

[frozen breach]

wait this is such a perfect way of describing it

i never really fit in well with the lesbians i knew pretransition and i always felt a little uncomfortable labeling myself that way even though it was factually correct at the time (as far as i knew i was a girl who liked other girls), but there's definitely a kind of nostalgia that i feel for lesbianism

not in the sense that i want to go back to it, but like. idk it's a similar feeling to the one i had when i went back to my old high school last year to see the spring theater production; it didn't make me wish i was back in high school, but it brought back a lot of the nicer memories that i had from when i was there

idk im just rambling at this point but i think about this a lot because i have a lot of lesbian friends and talking to them does sometimes feel like talking to someone who's still at a job that i left years ago (and talking to some of my transfem lesbian friends is sometimes like talking to someone who started working there after i had already left, lol)

[winter comet]

yeah no i get u

i was extremely young when i identified as a lesbian so i learned more about lesbianism like. after i stopped identifying with it and more via friends but instead of like
personal solidarity i felt a kind of outside looking in type of it and as i evolved and changed as a person and figured my shit out i still feel that same feeling

its also funny bc i knew that transness was a thing from even earlier on than when i came out as queer but i thought surely trans and nonbinary people were rare and i was just gnc

i was confused but i had the spirit

[frozen breach]

yeah i also had the whole "knew what trans people were as a kid but assumed i couldn't possibly be one of them" thing lmao

in my third grader brain when i was questioning, i was like "okay, there are boys in my class, and their only hobbies seem to be sports, yelling, and being mean to girls. i don't like any of these things, so i can't be a boy. case closed, surely i will never reopen this line of thought!"

[winter comet]

my sister (nonbinary) used to watch transition vlogs back in the day

they had more of the typical "binary trans signs" (that are per case and not an all encompassing indicator) as a kid so its a joke with our cis sister that it was funny i turned out to be the transmasc one

she wanted to be adult link from ocarina of time so fucking bad

she was into yugioh and shit
i was into sailor moon and collector's barbies
to cis people this is ironic

[next harbor]

to us it's iconic 😎

[winter comet]

i find it funny when people bank real hard on childhood "signs" as being very binary and only external factors bc i feel like i came out of the blue for cis people but had i had any trans people in my life growing up they would have caught wind

oh the little wars we weather within

[frozen breach]

yeah it's so funny how fixated people get on these very superficial childhood signs

i have a friend who recently came out as a trans woman but has been questioning for at least a year and has been talking with me a lot throughout her process of self-discovery, and for a while she was like "well i never really liked girly things as a little kid and i still don't like them much now, so i feel like i'm faking being trans" and i was like "girl you just spent a week feeling jealous and depressed because one of our mutual friends got on estrogen, it doesn't fucking matter what your interests were a decade ago"

also yeah i definitely think if i had known any trans people when i was first figuring out that i was queer they would have caught on to something

when i was in middle school i said and thought shit like "i like girls, but i don't want to identify as a lesbian because i feel uncomfortable when i picture myself as a girl dating another girl" or "i like wearing boy's clothes but something always feels like it's missing whenever i do" but apparently because i liked my little pony and princesses as a little kid i couldn't have possibly been trans 🙄

[winter comet]

real
and i dont wanna reach over and speak on shit i havent lived but just going off my friends and what they've told me i get the impression that transfems are especially unfairly held to the "childhood signs" shit

[next harbor]

Shirt that says "bury your sons and daughters" in nonbinary colors

[molten kite]

If I'm being honest I feel like the signs only started to become really obvious when I hit puberty

But I hope my parents aren't naive enough to think this wall all "out of the blue" for me

[inland schooner]

It was the same for me but tbh this when people start treating you more "genderedly" (for lack of a better word) if that makes sense

[molten kite]

I think the general idea of "becoming a man" just gave me an intense sense of disgust and I did whatever I could to fight against that

[inland schooner]

Same for me like what do you mean I'm a woman I have only ever been an outcast within them why would I want to be one?? (In my experience)

[winter comet]

i love women and have had many foundational and strong connections with women in my life but i simply knew i was not one of them

[digital geyser]

for me it was almost that i just never really thought about it until someone else i knew came out as trans. and i was like oh this thing ive heard of? that ive always been fascinated by??? woah i could be it?? dope

(it was more complicated than that but lol)

and funnily enough the person who made me think "oh i could be not cis" is afaik cis now

[sudden zephyr]

For me the more I heard about it more I felt feminine I guess more learned about it I seen that I share those traits and started to follow it but I remember comin out to my father about it and him telling me that he doesn't care much about what I am or anything just he'll love me n care about me most he can but sometimes that pulls back and he's a dickhead lol

My mom didn't rly mind it either she was just like ok and went about her day n said just give me grandchildren adoption or not so yaa

gotta live up to it now 😭

Also it's fine to be trans and have him/her pronouns ya? I only have them as that cause I'm a maab and I feel like I should have it as that until I start transitioning fully

[inland schooner]

Yeah who cares live life as you want

[grand hearth]

use the pronouns you want

imo you can use she/her pronouns right now

transitioning never really has an “end point” imo

[sudden zephyr]

Eh yeah I can but I still look bulky is da thing and it makes me feel like I should use that

I don't know how to look less bulky and I want to

[grand hearth]

the way I see it, even cis men could be she her. cis women could be he him. it doesn’t matter. but that would be a perfect world

why would being bulky stop you from using she her

[sudden zephyr]

it doesn't it's just my overall look makes me feel like I should use certain things :\

[grand hearth]

you aren’t obligated to use anything just because you look a certain way

I still look like a woman to people sometimes. that doesn’t force me to use she/her pronouns

[sudden zephyr]

well yeah that's true lol just it's how I feel about myself ig? I feel like I should be more feminine to apply them to me but I also know it doesn't really matter how I look

So it's like a mush mash of like well yeah I know but I feel like a certain way

[grand hearth]

hmm

Whatever you’re comfortable with I guess

[sudden zephyr]

I'm comfortable with it

It's more like I guess easing into it more as I transition into being a female

Cause I'm working on voice stuff and trying to be less like bulky cause I look feminine but it's just my shoulders are wide and that's about the only thing masculine about me is my shoulders :\

[grand hearth]

yeah, I just know that (cis) people kept getting confused when I explained that I have no intention of changing my they/them pronouns even though I’m “transitioning” so I guess I wasn’t sure if like, you knew you could just do that lol

[sudden zephyr]

Oh yeah I know I can just go ahead and do it

I just have that bit of masculinity in me and once it starts to look less by it I'll start going by more of she/her

[grand hearth]

I’m a guy…..not a man but a guy….not because I feel like I won’t qualify as a man….but because I am a Forbidden Third Thing

ah yeah

[winter comet]

i am a thing in man's clothing

[grand hearth]

this very nice (old) classmate is super supportive but he’s the epitome of “a little confused but got the spirit”

[winter comet]

ive never liked they/them used on me tho
unfortunately people use them on me either way

[sudden zephyr]

I naturally use them when I don't know pronouns

[grand hearth]

I didn’t help much though because I had a hard time explaining my gender

Tried to convey the “I’m a guy not a man” sentiment and he was like “I feel you man….sometimes I just feel like some guy, too….”

[winter comet]

some people dont get that they/them is for when you dont yet know someones pronouns or they actually use those pronouns and not just bc its easy for you

[sudden zephyr]

Are you a dude? a bro even?

[grand hearth]

love him tho he’s awesome

a brother perhaps?!?!

[sudden zephyr]

a brother in christs name perhaps?!

[winter comet]

ive had people tell me they just use they/them on everyone bc its easy and im like you know damn well you dont call your mom they

[sudden zephyr]

I haven't really dealt wit it

I've been called a dude or bro a lot but that's cause it as another word for friend or just "person"

but I get it being insensitive to some!

[winter comet]

i usually put my pronouns in my bio but rn in this server i dont have em listed bc i used to have my carrd linked and then i realized no one reads anything ever so i took that out and just did whatever

[sudden zephyr]

But I was raised calling everyone it 😭 so it took me a bit to get use to it for modern times lol

[sudden zephyr]

ahh yeah I read bios like a mf

I'm nosy alot

once I want to get to know somebody

Well not like the bad kinda nosy like I just wanna know info

[winter comet]

considering having certain stuff in my display name makes people think im an asshole ive given up on relaying info on the net shdkfnjf

[sudden zephyr]

I'm use to seeing it in big servers

so I don't mind it myself but eeh people are pretty stoopid

[winter comet]

i generally try to read carrds and stuff when i have time but some are hard to navigate so i feel like an old man

[sudden zephyr]

Wuts a carrd

[grand hearth]

I appreciate the effort in some carrds but I’ve felt so lost in many of them

[sudden zephyr]

Isn't it for socials and general info

[grand hearth]

some of them are like

swagged out to the point of being entire websites

[sudden zephyr]

Oh dam

[winter comet]

people in a kpop server of all places seem to respect that i simply dont like pings but ive gotten a little bit of shit here for it and its funny bc i dont even yell at people for it im just like hey pls click the button thanks

yeah some are also kind of unreadable

[sudden zephyr]

I could never do that

[winter comet]

like gif backgrounds or badly optimized fonts

[grand hearth]

The super basic one I made for my socials was enough effort as it is

Can’t imagine like

[sudden zephyr]

The only time I ping you is always unintentional cuz I send my msg then realize or like uh I just forget

[grand hearth]

So much

[winter comet]

most of the time i ignore it bc if i do say smth people will again think i am yelling at them

damned if i do damned if i dont

yeah my carrd is very basic and not very well designed

[sudden zephyr]

I don't think I'd want to do one myself as I'm only just on Instagram and Discord now

So a discord bio is enough for me

[winter comet]

the front page is the only actually important one the others are flavor text

[grand hearth]

I have to update my carrd because some things I don’t use anymore

[sudden zephyr]

I'd make one out of pure fun maybe but most likely not

[winter comet]

sometimes they are just for fun

i have my neopets linked to mine for no other reason

[sudden zephyr]

I use to fuck wit my uhh telegram bio alot cause I like it looking cutsey

Damn I forgot I had telegram

[winter comet]

forgot my pronouns page is on my carrd

[sudden zephyr]

I'll be damned then

[grand hearth]

need to feed my neopets

[sudden zephyr]

I need to feed my tamagotchi

In cod

[grand hearth]

I used to submit things to the neopian times, those were the days

[sudden zephyr]

Tbf my tamagotchi in cod is probably dead as fuck

I never played neopets

[winter comet]

ive never been any kind of social on neopets til adulthood but the neoboards are full of millennial melodrama so

[grand hearth]

lol yeah

I just kinda

Feed my boys and play solitaire

[sudden zephyr]

i use to be on forums to talk when I was younger-

[grand hearth]

I love silly card games I’m basically my mom with freecell when we had windows xp

[winter comet]

i never got into the drama on the neoboards i would just talk on casual topics but i decided no one there was really likeable enough for me to stay

[sudden zephyr]

I use to play blackjack with my family we use to bet items or Christmas gifts

[winter comet]

or rather i had no connections to put it less harsh

[grand hearth]

I was too young for neoboards, and then when I was old enough to use them, I just didn’t really want to lol

https://tenor.com/view/pizza-delivery-community-fire-gif-5219358

Coming back to neopets with neoboard drama I didn’t see

[winter comet]

i decided to give them a whirl and then id see like 6 year old beef being brought up between two grown ass people and a bunch of mean spirited comments and cliques and bad faith behavior n i was like
bitch this is neopets its not that deep

some people are cool tho

[sudden zephyr]

Mfs getting back into zombies community during the lex allegations

[winter comet]

hopefully i was a net positive presence while there

[sudden zephyr]

hopefully!

[winter comet]

i dont tend to get onto the internet to be an asshole intentionally so i can only hope

[grand hearth]

Too much drama on the funnee tamagotchi capitalism game

[winter comet]

also just people who hate the game more than they like the game

log off dude

its like w some pokemon and sonic fans
if it sux to you hit the bricks

find something that makes you happy or teach yourself to find happiness bc with the way some of those ppl act its like they genuinely are out of practice with it

[grand hearth]

damn, they might not be able to fill my T today. The office has been running ragged with the snowstorm(s)

[chrome snow]

Are you still in Kansas, because Kansas is getting hit hard right now.

[grand hearth]

yes dude

We got. 6” of snow

My car from my window rn

[bright oak]

wish that was us rn

[grand hearth]

HEH

I like adding funny stickers as censorship lol

Maybe I should make a dead yamcha decal though..

[winter comet]

shout out dead yamcha

[golden plover]

OC, DO NOT STEAL, Dead Goku with 2 bows is mine now
-# /j

(forgive the mess, I'm not even using a mouse, I'm using a trackpad)

And I have to hold down the trackpad as I draw

[honest lake]

I mean id just have to take the bigass hammer all the way in 10 cuz its sick AF but id consider myself like a 5 or something

or maybe i played too much mordhau

l graph anyways

[golden plover]

That makes these drawings high-effort shitposts

[honest lake]

for me it was the time when i was considering buzzing my long hair off and just realized how shitty that would be not just from looks but for my soul. And THEN I questioned other feminine parts about me for example that I liked the way beards looked on others but would never even consider growing one myself or my beef with body hair. THEN I went even further back and thought about how feminine I was as a kid. Like I was watching barbie with my mom and wanted to dress feminine until other kids kinda bullied me for looking a bit like a girl to which i just tried to behave very masculine and yall probably can already guess the rest

i think im lost in the sauce

i cant catch up with chat

[honest lake]

realll

i also didnt realize that some stuff i was reading was posted like 4 days ago

[sudden zephyr]

So like quick question about trans relationships so if I like were to date a straight guy it'd be considered a straight relationship right or would it be smth else

Like as I identify as a woman it confuses me as I'm a maab so doesn't it make it kinda homosexual too or like nah? lol sorry the thought popped up in my head so I asked but RN I'm just figuring it as a "trans relationship"

[balmy pond]

Tbh

I kinda just think it is what it feels like?

Like if you date a guy and it feels like a straight relationship then that's what it is yknow

Transness and really queerness in general is all about self definition right?

That's kinda my rule of thumb I guess

[frozen breach]

i think it's very much based on personal feelings and definitions, and at the same time i'd say that in general a relationship between a cis man and a trans woman is a straight relationship (unless of course both parties feel that it isn't)

imo personal definition/identity/understanding of oneself trumps one's assigned sex in most (if not all) instances

at the very least all interpersonal instances

[hallow bronze]

Agreed, also a relationship can be straight and queer, multiple labels may apply

[frozen breach]

definitely yeah

like as a trans guy who's straight and mostly t4t, i feel like my attraction to trans girls is straight because i'm a guy who's into girls, but i also feel like it's queer because in my experience straight t4t couples often operate outside the typical societal conventions and expectations of straightness due to both being trans (this might make no sense as im half asleep rn but yeah idk)

[golden plover]

It's your identified gender x their gender

Your sex doesn't matter at all.

[winter comet]

pulled out a chin hair
i verrrry much hate the feeling of plucking but sometimes i consider it bc my facial hair grows back very fast

it may not be thick and coarse but it doesnt matter i dont want it

[winter comet]

you best believe i got "he it FUCK YOU"

this isnt the custom button listing but im posting this one to give the general idea of what they look like lol

i dmed the seller to ask if they could fit both pronouns and the FUCK YOU onto one button and they can

they also have the unleashed from the sonic unleashed logo and i considered "it its UNLEASHED" but the fuck you is more appropriate toward the attitude people have about it/its

[grand hearth]

I love this

Any all & knuckles…

[winter comet]

THEY THEM &KNUCKLES

my friend is a huge knuckleshead and i would really like to gift them a they them & knuckles button but shipping it to them in australia would cost like 4 times the item cost so

[grand hearth]

Australia should stop being that far away

I keep finding myself wanting to send stuff to my Australian friend but shipping 💔

[winter comet]

said friend and i dated for 3 years and birthdays were rough bc most of the stuff i wanted to send them was from out of au so shipping got my ass whereas most of the stuff they sent me was shipped from within the states to me but they had to pay in usd and we all know the aud is weaker than weak

[steady swift]

LINK PLEASE

[winter comet]

https://www.etsy.com/listing/1420490133/custom-sonic-the-hedgehog-pride-pronoun

[winter comet]

my friend keeps dreaming about my transition
first it was me getting on T and not telling her until speaking at random in person and then it was me getting top surgery and telling her by ripping my shirt off out of nowhere
her subconscious keeps affirming me i guess

[sudden zephyr]

I like the last one just being a giant fuck you

[inland schooner]

Unrelated to most convos here but I think lowkey I have a crush on this trans girl I know and rahh she's so cool

[winter comet]

as trans girls tend to be tbh

[paper totem]

this is true

shoutout girls.......

[inland schooner]

Agree and true. Every trans girl I've met is awesome (she is the only trans girl I know)

[winter comet]

i have a lot of trans women in my life

[frozen breach]

irl i've known like. fifteen to twenty ish trans women/transfem ppl i think? and i've only disliked maybe two or three of them (and even then it wasn't cuz of anything heinous, it's just that two of them were mildly mean/annoying and one is my ex lol)

so based on my anecdotal evidence, the vast majority of trans girls are awesome

[strong heath]

thanks i try

[steady swift]

i wish i had more personal connections to trans girls, i see them so much in passing on twitter n shit but i think theres only like one or two that i know personally

theyre so cool and so smart bro

[winter comet]

honestly i recommend every trans person to at least try to have other trans folk of a different gender in their circle, and if not possible to just follow them online
there's so much info out there with the internet and yet so little community relative to that and even further hair splitting amongst us with bad faith discourse n shit
i see a lot of us newly self-realized queers not doing the homework so to speak and i think we can only benefit from doing so as a whole even tho like. i know being queer is not really a Gained Status, its just what you are but it's still very enriching
and i know its harder for some people than others to access said info but it's not a race to know everything it's more of a distance run

[winter comet]

also by us i dont mean im a newly self realized queer i just mean queer ppl in general bc old people are not free of sin either if they stay in a tiny bubble

[misty harness]

kinda my problem, I'm so isolated tbh I have zero internet presence outside this server anymore but I don't do much irl either

need to reach out and make friends but why do that when I have model kits to build ......

[inland schooner]

I've found most trans people my age hard to connect to because I'm at such a different stage in my transition

[balmy pond]

be my friend we can throw tp at Mr. Robinsons house

[inland schooner]

I find most of my trans friends are older by a bit than me or at similar "stages" as me

[valid sun]

same

i stopped going to trans meetups irl cause of this

there's nothing wrong with that at all but of course i feel like when youre in the early stages you need certain spaces with people like you and i get nothing out of it and usually dont share any interests with them so it's been rough

most older trans people IRL also do not share interests with me. which is fine but lame

[inland schooner]

Most trans people my age are chronically online or just very online which I am not and it's hard because what are you talking about I do not do fandoms

[inland schooner]

I'm later stages which is very uncommon for 17 so I only know one other girl who is even socially transitioned. Like I totally understand why you wouldn't be but at the same time it's like damn where all the trans people at

But at the same time it's not like I actively tell people I'm trans either and you would never know otherwise and I'm sure there's other stealth people in the shadows somewhere but like I said I would never be able to tell RIP

Also I've recently realised I'm only into fem people/women which is wild (to me)

I've always found attraction to women as 'gay' but like now im a dude

[valid sun]

i find this too

[frozen breach]

wait real, coming to terms with being a straight dude has been such an interesting experience for me lol

that sounds so weird to say but like it's true

[frozen breach]

yeppppppp

[valid sun]

same, i was stealth at 17 (legally at 18 cause i changed my info) and started HRT at 14 and never knew other trans people at school until like junior (which was also my senior) year and never got close to them. i try to talk to people IRL or at shows but they start bringing up weird online trans discourse or whatever and i zone out and just leave them be. and the internalized transphobia a lot of early transition guys have and project onto other people makes me uncomfortable cause why do you care

[frozen breach]

i relate to both of you so much on this yeah

i have one other friend my age who's at about the same point in his transition that i'm in

[valid sun]

i deal with a lot of frustration projected onto me from other people because im a youth transitioner. theres a lot of assumptions about privilege there. i still tell them about the fact ive faced near death cause of hate crimes and i still get shit for that (i literally got my tires slashed at my boyfriends restaurant/work last week cause we were there together) and dealt with legislation (and still do) problems

and for some reason they just assume it's easier. neither one is easier or harder. the problems you face are just different

but you want to get to where i am and i get it. but your problems wont be solved only through HRT and you'll only realize that after you start it or whatever you want to do

so i cant help then there. that's their journey they need to make 🤷‍♂️

which isnt to undermine transition at all, actually it's an incredible thing cause that means youre living your life more broadly

but yknow

the tire situation pisses me off though lol

also cant relate on the straight part but interested in that cause i was originally straight and now im gay

[inland schooner]

Yeah one time I met a nonbinary person from a friend and we hung out together as a group, they didn't know I was trans and were literally so fucking rude (because I'm a dude they made fun of my height and stuff) but I bet if I had said I was trans they would've been so nice.
I'm stealth at school too and the only only trans people at my school are chronically online danganronpa twitter fnaf people. Which there's nothing wrong with in my opinion, but it's certainly a demographic I am no longer apart of

[inland schooner]

I feel this entirely. I cannot lie I am DEFINITELY in a position of privilege to be able to transition as young as I did but I was also VERY vocal and pushed for it ALOT which I think not alot of trans people do (which everyone has different reasons for but again I was blessed with a supportive family for the most part) I used to fight with my dad about it all the time. Like I was desperate, so desperate I got steroids before I was legally prescribed Testosterone

Also another thing, the stereotype of trans guys being uwu twink bottom who can't take care of himself is the most insulting thing to me personally. And I feel like when I tell people I'm trans online that is what they envision. I do not like it, and I know that is just how some people are but it is not me stop this fetishisation(idk spelling)

[inland schooner]

Absolutely agree. Testosterone, going to gym and getting off my phone more were some of the biggest things that helped me but obviously thats not gonna work for everyone

[inland schooner]

Yeah idk if I wanna label myself as straight because while I am not romantically attracted to dudes I'm not opposed sexually but I'm definitely only romantically attacted to women. So for now im just saying unlabelled because I don't care too much for labels

[frozen breach]

yeah i relate a lot to this

[inland schooner]

I wish I did but I have friends who have gone from transmasc to just Nb fem which is awesome I'm just happy they're able to be comfortable with themselves

[valid sun]

what helped me is getting a job and going to college 😭 i understand why trans people in dark areas of life are.. well.. dark but i think the behavior still too "normal" for lack of a better term. and i hate fighting with conformists and i hate fighting with "we're non conformists but we put you in our own boxes because it's progressive :P", especially when people call these kids cringe as if they didnt go thru that as a kid lol. i also hate that people think i will get along with them just cause we're both gay. ive learned this will never be the case 😵‍💫

[inland schooner]

Hard agree

[valid sun]

it would help to have hobbies where the demographic isnt 98% men ages 35-70 years old

[inland schooner]

And also having friends for once I think who don't make jokes at my expense or even know I'm trans is great because it helps me feel 'normal'

Rip tho because if they did know they would treat me differently because they're stupid and don't know what trans people are 😪

Sad thing that made me realise I'm only really into women was a gay dude asking me out 😶 gotta say I feel terrible for the guy

[frozen breach]

yeah right now my group of friends is almost entirely trans folks, and i truly do love them all to death and i feel like they're great friends, but there's definitely a bit of a weird dynamic because of how far into my transition i am compared to most of them. like it sometimes does feel like there's a level of maybe not jealousy, but like. idk i sometimes feel like i get treated somewhat differently because of where i'm at in my transition.

i also am often finding myself in the role of giving advice and support to friends who are just starting out with their transitions, which is great and i don't mind doing that at all, but it does also get to be a lot at times

[winter comet]

thats exactly why i think trans people have to be exposed to more types of trans people different from themselves

people on hrt, people not, newly realized trans folk, trans people who have lived as trans for 15 years, openly trans, stealth trans, transfem transmasc transneutral, different cultures and ethnicities

so theres not so much subconscious compartmentalization

and theres so much fucking infighting and binaries being slapped on each other by each other

we get enough shit flung at us by cis people

i have known all my friends long after i already came out so ive been the shoulder to lean on when they were questioning or coming out and i agree it def does get to be a lot but unfortunately theres not a ton of us out there that have lived as trans for as long in my age group compared to some of my friends who have been out for a couple years

not talking about ur situation btw totally valid to feel kind of tired as "the older trans person" but for just me im like man i wish i had a Me when i came out

also i wanna clarify just in case that i think even being somewhere like here is a good way to see different perspectives and learn shit
you dont even have to go out and check out local trans meetups if that doesn't click with you or youre physically unable

i just notice online these days like. a lot of people missing so much perspective or even outright being shitty to other demographics of the trans spectrum and its not a moral failure or anything to have limited perspective but its good to seek outside of yourself

dude if i took a shot for every time a baby trans didnt know nonbinary was inherently under the trans umbrella and used trans in a solely binary way id have died 4 times

also ive had run ins with white trans folk being fucked up to me more than i would want to admit bc they have such white circles that they do not care to look outside of in any meaningful way

[misty harness]

i just need to go out more, long covid fucked me up the past couple years and i can't do consistent irl meetups bc i get sick so easily since then. i want to go to meetups and stuff but i don't want to risk having to miss a week of work bc someone didn't mask and went sick. its also just hard finding things to go to. just sucks and depresses me further. idk what to do

[winter comet]

honestly yeah the physical barrier of in person community is probably tougher than ever to breach due to distance, disability and a ton of other factors

pandemic threw so many wrenches into the gears

i am in a weird state where i've been out as trans for half of my life and can shoot the shit for hours on gender and trans topics but i am not on hrt due to lack of financial stability throughout my teens and still so people assume a lot about me and my bf who is also a transmasc but had been on hrt (no longer on it bc it's hard to get in to see his doc)

i don't consider myself less experienced, knowledgable or unfinished just bc i'm still not in arm's length of a goal i have but sometimes i feel like i get treated that way despite being in the sauce before most of the trans people in my life even knew transness was a thing

i feel like there are parts of the community that internalize the idea of a trans end state

and that those not on hrt ever or not yet are behind said end state

[frozen breach]

oh this is so real yeah

i definitely have this mindset when i'm helping ppl figure shit out of like. i want to be the person i needed when i was early in my transition, y'know?

the environment i was in was one that actively discouraged me from transitioning in the specific ways i wanted and needed to and that kinda fucked my shit up so i sometimes get very protective of my friends while they figure things out (and also sometimes come on a little strong with my encouragement lol) because i'm so committed to making sure they feel more supported than i did

[frozen breach]

genuinely this is such a pet peeve of mine, like the way people assume that being pre-hrt automatically makes you a baby trans or whatever. i've got a friend who started hrt back in october and she's known that she's trans longer than i have even though october was my two year hrt anniversary. this stuff is not linear and whether someone is on hrr is an awful benchmark for where they're at with their gender identity, at least internally

[strong heath]

basically all of my male friends are transmasc lol

[magic verge]

i'm very lucky that the trans people i'm closest to in my life are covid cautious and a diverse mix of lovely folks. it's been quite the frustrating thing to come to terms with the fact that someone being queer doesn't mean they care about disability liberation or protecting the vulnerable people in their community

[sturdy sluice]

i live in australia and i agree

[grand hearth]

wait what did I say? Lol

[grand hearth]

OH yes lol

[chrome snow]

I seriously need to do this.

:((

[clear zodiac]

i found a gender affirming hair salon

sadly i have to explain to my current hair stylist why i'll be seeing them for the last time

[grand hearth]

god I need a haircut

back is getting long

[misty harness]

I'm getting mine done Sunday for the first time in a year and a half

I'm excitedd

[chrome snow]

WWWWWWW

I'm making a little bit of progress on growing out my hair and I think I'm going to slightly look a little bit different once I finish my fourth semester of college.

[winter comet]

my hair is down my back bc i havent been able to get a haircut in uhhhh

4-5 months

not all the way down my back just like definitely below the shoulders

i look better w long hair but i dont want it this long its too much to wash and it clogs the drain

[honest lake]

sameee

but i think im gonna get bangs soon :D

[winter comet]

i also need to get this undercut redone

i have an undercut just on my nape and it grew so much its like 5 inches long now

i cut it bc my hair is too thick

[molten kite]

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DDafAglvI2p/?igsh=YWd2em0xMmpoNmI1

omfg_astrid

i love y’all so much!!! just remember: being yourself and being happy is active resistance 💕

Likes

7993

Instagram

[grand hearth]

did my shot

[balmy pond]

Did mine yesterday 🔥

[honest lake]

That always sounds like a trainspotting type situation to me

like youre one shot away from overdosing on E and imploding

[winter comet]

every day i dont have testosterone hrt i am overdosing on E /j

[molten kite]

i wish I could do it intravenous

[valid sun]

i did mine but i lowkey fucked it up

[frozen breach]

dude i've been on hrt two years and im still so bad at doing my shots lmao

like i fuck it up about 50 to 60 percent of the time that's a pretty bad success rate for having done this literally at least a hundred times

[valid sun]

this will be year 6 and this is the first time i had like mega leakage

😵‍💫

[winter comet]

see this is why back when i lived near my family i asked my sister if they would do my shots for me bc i know for a fact im gonna injure myself

[grand hearth]

I’ve gotten so desensitized to self administering that I haven’t had trouble

But that’s because for a while I was on a biologic that I gave to myself for years. That shit HURTED

[valid sun]

i get it the first 2 years my dad helped ke do it

[grand hearth]

I have a sneaking suspicion that HRT has made me a lot of gray hairs

not sure tho

I wonder if it’s like. Since there’s such a rapid change in tissue

lots of mitosis

early loss of pigment from melanocytes

[honest lake]

better than no hair tbh

but thats only when youre on t thank god

sorry to all the transmascs

[frozen breach]

ty lol it's rough out here

like fym my hair is thinning??? im not even twenty yet 💀

[grand hearth]

my hair is not thinning by any stretch lol

[winter comet]

the balding depends on genetics

[frozen breach]

yeahhh

it's fucked up though because of all the men in my family, only my paternal grandfather has had balding, and he didn't start balding until he had retired already

but then my body was like "you know when would be a great time for your hair to start thinning? your sophomore year of college"

[winter comet]

my bf has has some hairline receding but he's not on t anymore so it stopped where it was at mostly
atm most of my friends who r balding are yet to get on E
one of my friends is now on minoxidil and finasteride for her balding

my korean grandpa still has a head of hair but my paternal side is all bald so i have no idea how that will shake out for me

also shout out my coworker for printing my name tag last night
i told her the manager wanted me to use my legal name and she was like really? and just gave me my actual name

[misty harness]

my dumb ass still gets unreasonably happy when someone calls me miss and holds a door for me

[winter comet]

is it unreasonable

[frozen breach]

this is so me

waitress called me "sir" yesterday and i got so excited

[grand hearth]

Pissing in the mens room for the first time. AMA

[grand hearth]

waiter here keeps calling me sir I’m very thrilled

[winter comet]

did you do your god given share of opening a bag of chips in the stall so crinkling becomes normal in men's rooms

also i noticed that holding the door open is apparently an unspoken gendered thing bc old men get annoyed looks on their faces when i hold open a door for them (ostensibly in their eyes i am a young woman)

i thought it was just a nice thing to do for other people period

[balmy pond]

Ngl I still hold doors open for people

It's nice when someone opens the door for me tho lmao

[winter comet]

is it gendered and i just never picked up on it

[glossy dagger]

I still use the women's bathroom because I'm afraid to use the men's

https://tenor.com/view/jinx-jinx-cat-bigfoot-jinx-gif-25568846

but my appearance is very androgynous and people get confused

[winter comet]

im not on t and dont "present traditionally masc" (i wear men's clothes but have long hair so i read as feminine to boring people) and i just use the womens bathroom to protect my peace

[grand hearth]

Is it????? I’ve always held doors even when I presented feminine

I thought it’s like. Common courtesy especially for older folks lol

[hallow bronze]

It's permeably gendered, like giving your seat on the bus. Expected towards older/pregnant/disabled people no matter what, but also traditionally done by men towards women as part of "chivalry"

[winter comet]

im also asian so being Respectful In Public is like in every fiber of my being especially toward older people

i usually also do it when its a parent w a younger kid bc young kids are very unpredictable so they have one less thing to worry about

[misty harness]

it's also different regionally, it's way more common for anyone to hold doors open in the south and midwest

but yeah, it's gendered but also based on age and status too,

[golden plover]

Success?

[glossy dagger]

yesss!

but I almost got kicked out of the women's bathroom twice 💔💔

[hallow bronze]

Society when it decided to gatekeep kindness based on arbitrary traits:🤑 🤑 🤑

[strong heath]

lollllll awful day at work today

misgendered so many times including by kids who were doing it on purpose to mock me 💔💔

[next harbor]

Hate that so much

Kids can be so genuinely cruel

I guess it's like, if they really had the capacity to know or care that much, you'd hope they'd do anything but specifically that

[glossy dagger]

my niece called me by my deadname and now my whole body hurts

I’m so fucking saf

sad*

https://tenor.com/view/sad-cat-car-silly-cat-sad-scary-gif-12889095585962936860

[misty harness]

that's rough, kids can be awful. stuff like that is why I'd never be a teacher

[honest lake]

outed myself in front of all my other friends and nobody was even slightly suprised 😭

but everyone was supportive yayy

the only ones left are my mom and my dad

[glossy dagger]

I hope everything goes well!

https://tenor.com/view/cat-kiss-gif-25376137

[honest lake]

thank youuuu 💕

it will

i mean im a bit worried about my dad but my moms whole side of the family is so chill so it basically cant go wrong

[glossy dagger]

YIPPPIEEEE

I'm really scared of coming out to my parents

they definitely wouldn't accept me

https://tenor.com/view/cat-holding-head-cat-sad-cat-rahh-wahhhh-gif-11843610789762008433

no one in my family accepts me, only my cousins

[golden plover]

The cool cousins

[glossy dagger]

YEAAA

I love them

[golden plover]

Painted nails are so euphoric omg, I finally tried it after a long while, and I really like how it looks

(Sry if I changed topic)

It takes about 5 minutes to do and 5 minutes to dry, and then you got several days of euphoria

[glossy dagger]

EPIC!!!

I love painted nails

[hallow bronze]

hell yeah painted nails

[glossy dagger]

specifically black

[hallow bronze]

yessssssss

I don't do them as much because the brands I have take forever to dry and I'm too impatient to stay still that long, but it is worth it

[grand hearth]

I wanted to compliment the person with black nails checking out my stuff at the Best Buy but I was too awkward 😔

[next harbor]

Have u tried matte finish yet? I'm always craving doing this again. Might tomorrow!

[winter comet]

matte finish goated

i need to pick up some matte top coat

i dont get gender euphoria from anything but black nails are a fave of mine

i get compliments on my long nail beds all the time lol

[glossy dagger]

I don't know if I have OCD but whenever I paint my nails and there's something even slightly wrong I get stressed and take off all the nail polish 😭😭😭

and this always happens more than once in the same day

[pulsar mortar]

me too it sucks

[odd vessel]

as a transfemme eyeliner is king for euphoria imo

[paper totem]

https://bsky.app/profile/erininthemorning.com/post/3lgthupw73s22 hey so is anyone else scared of the precedent here

Erin Reed (@erininthemorning.com)

Donald Trump has just released a national under 18 trans care ban executive order. I am working through specifically how it tries to do this, and will live tweet here section by section as I read through it.

It is not yet on the website, but has been released via press release.

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177

Bluesky · Jan 28, 2025, 10:10 PM

i'm 18 and just barely started hrt a couple months ago

i guess i better call my dr and stockpile

[misty harness]

it's terrifying but also this order will almost certainly be blocked in court and I've already seen some legal experts say theres like no chance several sections of it will be enforceable. but that's assuming the rest of the government is supposed to do what it's supposed to hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

I'm sure the plan isn't to have these orders enforced as stated but to let them get tied up in court while they get equivalent laws jammed through congress

remember they are taking the shotgun approach, throwing everything they have out in hopes that some of it sticks but knowing most of it will get blocked pretty quick. whether or not it will work is yet to be seen

[sudden zephyr]

Not sure what's happening with me atm or if it's just my sickness Is messing with me but I just feel lost and I feel extremely like uncomfortable looking at how bulky I look

[glossy dagger]

I dont even live in the US and I’m really scared.
I'm sending positive energy for y’all

[paper totem]

YEAH i didnt post anything about it because i had some weird complexes in my head to get over [still working on] but i did i started in mid nov

[sudden zephyr]

it's not so bad today mostly cause I've been working on my more feminine voice

I'm tryna get it to be more natural I guess without like uhh thinking about it

cause usually I have to actually try my ass off to do it and I just lose all my breath 😭😭

just my family will have to adjust to it given how my voice has been like uhh a bit pitched but not too pitched

they all fully support me for it just I know me getting on it all will be a different change for them imo

[hallow bronze]

I need advice. I just got out of a meeting with a dermatologist and he confirmed that most of my skin issues are a byproduct of stress and anxiety, and I'm 90% sure that a lot of that stress comes from dysphoria. I'm going to get hrt regardless when I go back to study abroad, but should I talk to my parents about it? They aren't hyper transphobic, and they supported my social transition more or less, but I'm also not sure that they fully understand :(

[glossy dagger]

I bought a binder last year and for unknown reasons I can never use it. It's not like it hurts me or anything but I always feel short of breath and feel sick using it

https://tenor.com/view/sad-cat-car-silly-cat-sad-scary-gif-12889095585962936860

[winter comet]

it's possible it might have too much compression or it's not distributed that well
if you have any respiratory issues it might exacerbate them

i recently found tull tank binders distribute the compression around my torso a little better bc i have recurring rib aches from daily binding over 10 years

so my bf's binder is tighter than the one i own but his is full tank and mine is a half binder and i get less achey wearing the tank one than the loose one that sits at the bottom of my ribcage

i feel like the rib area of the torso is pretty sensitive despite it being surrounded w bone

it's also time for my old trans finger wagging with this but: dysphoria is very real but so are permanent health problems from overbinding and i promise you that one day you will be able to manage that dysphoria but it's harder to repair/mitigate the damage from overbinding

so i'm not gonna say "oh it's ok you dont even need to bind" bc it's not that simple but i will recommend everyone to take it easy and that you're not any less You for having to be unbound for the day

[magic verge]

meant to reply to this but never did sorry </3 it's really up to you if you feel like disclosing that information to your parents. it's entirely possible to go on hrt and be on it for a while and then disclose that information if you feel like it. the changes are going to come gradually so it won't become obvious for a while. or you could just not tell them to be honest if you're concerned about potential backlash. whatever would make you feel the most comfortable and cause the least amount of stress

if you aren't sure if they'd understand, it's worth considering if you would be emotionally prepared and have the energy to explain the specifics of things or to be able to handle if they ask potentially uncomfortable or invasive questions

but if you think it would be worth letting them know and potentially educating them there are also resources on that that could make it an easier process overall

i've been on and off hrt for a while and my mom has been informed about it but i haven't told my dad because while he mostly supports my social transition (honestly may be a bit generous to say he supports it but whatever) he is vehemently opposed to medical transition. but honestly he's not entitled to that info from me 💀

[hallow bronze]

Alright, I understand. My concern was mostly because I'm still financially (and thus medically) dependent on them, so idk, it does feel kinda weird to go and use their money like that without telling them

I will think on it, thanks a lot :3

[magic verge]

of course! definitely a valid concern to have, i'm glad i could help

[tropic zenith]

hey transdome, i need to talk abt my situation rn. im a 17 year old trans girl but im entirely closeted, and im going to come out tomorrow. my dad is currently on a trip so it would mean i could have a one on one conversation abt it with my mom. both my parents are very left leaning people and support trans rights and everything else, but im still terrified to tell them. they already know abt my sexuality, and they support me with that, but gender identity is a pretty huge thing and it just feels like a lot rn. i have put off coming out for a really long time and as of the past 2 weeks the realization hit me that time does in fact go by and i wont be 17 forever. i know i have a shit ton of time, but i want to come out now because im sick of wasting days upon days of my life pretending to be someone im not. i dont want to waste any more time. it’s just that when i think abt coming out the idea of my parents being shocked at first or confused seems terrifying despite the fact that i know they will support me even if its a shock at first. same thing happened when i came out abt my sexuality, but i explained it and my parents were extremely supportive and proud of me. my mom even told me to never feel like i had to hide anything from them, but still, my anxiety is getting the better of me. i’ve had horrible anxiety my whole life, but i’ve been trans for longer. ever since i came into existence i was a girl, i just lost the biological coin flip (kinda, i got really lucky with my figure n shit so that’s good!!!!) and i used to be so open to expressing myself as a kid, but i shut myself down and hid. now it feels like i’ve wasted years i’ll never get back and i need to come out asap. i have been sobbing extensively every day after i drive home from school, just thinking about how i need to be out already and how painful it is for me to not be. i need to tell my mom tomorrow but im so afraid that i’ll just bitch out like all the other times

i just rlly need some help and reassurance that i’ll be okay and i can get over my fears

[winter comet]

i just wanna say the anxiety you feel is very normal even if you're in a supportive home and i wish you the best of luck in coming out.
one thing off the top i would recommend as a now 25 year old transmasc who came out to my mom at age 14 (and was the only openly trans person in the lives of those around me for a very long time so i was like the crash course) is to prepare for some mistakes and understand it will take some time for your parents to get used to any "new" names or pronouns. they also may not always understand that some things they say may be outdated or harmful but if you do your best to meet them in the middle it'll make things more easy over time. this doesn't mean to just let them misgender you or to not have boundaries, but to just understand sometimes the cis folk in our lives genuinely do not mean harm but should be taught better.
secondly, you know yourself best and your needs and if you feel that being closeted is a burden then absolutely come out when ready, but you're not a coward or a traitor for being selective in who you are out to either. and there is no time limit to trans joy, you're still so young
i could blab on and on about this but i won't just know you have support here and if you have any other questions we got you

the self-realization of being trans is such a wonderful and unique experience and demonstrates a lot of strength in a world like ours. you are strong and brave even if you don't feel like you are

[tropic zenith]

this means so much im gonna cry ty Danny

it’s like this whole week has been building up to tomorrow and im feeling terrified but ready to do it

i will not let the nerves get the better of me again

[winter comet]

you got this

[tropic zenith]

also my mom literally is a therapist and works with trans kids in her job all the time and my dad is an activist in the software development scene so they’re very understanding and cool ppl

and also she literally told me when i came out abt my sexuality that she wouldn’t judge me and she literally used to stuff her trans girl friends bras in college and shit😭😭

i honestly wonder if she might know but i doubt it

[winter comet]

that's great that you have parents already aware of trans folk then
my mom is a korean lady that grew up in the 60s, but she was kind of a punk in the 80s and never really raised my sister and i in a gendered way. so she wasn't surprised or against my transition but she did have a little societally ingrained ignorance that i had to try and coach away. but in her case i dont think she ever knew any openly trans people before me

[tropic zenith]

that’s cool she sounds like a nice lady

ppl that were punks in like the 80s/90s that grew up to be like the last person you’d expect to be a punk are so cool

[tropic zenith]

this rlly helped me for some reason idk why

[winter comet]

i've had plenty of closeted friends with supportive homes confide to me terrified of telling their parents or even the rest of the friend group and every single one stepped up to the plate in their own time and came out and they were all so much more relieved after

so i truly mean it when i say you got this

[tropic zenith]

it feels like the stars are aligning for me rn it’s crazy

like i literally found a song/cover called “anthems for a seventeen year-old girl” from i saw the tv glow and that shit resonated hard i was bawling

and there’s been multiple pink white and blue sunrises this week leading up to tomorrow

[winter comet]

its all a sign

livin' life is knocking at your door

[tropic zenith]

and my dad going on a trip so i could have a one on one talk w my mom abt it who is a therapist

like??????????

[tropic zenith]

literally

it feels like the universe is telling me “girl just do it now, you’re not gonna regret it”

and im going to

period!!

like im not just gonna say im gonna try and then end up failing im gonna do it

im making a final legal declaration

[winter comet]

[frozen breach]

seconding all of this, shit is so fucked rn. i saw a video on instagram (i know, i've been trying to get off it, but it's the only way i have to contact some of the most important people in my life rn unfortunately) earlier today by a trans woman who got sent a renewed passport with her sex marked as M despite all of her other documents having her listed as female, which means she's now going to have to go through a whole legal headache so that she isn't stuck with a passport that doesn't match literally any of her other documents. i know how awful it is (or at least how awful it's been for me) to have documents that don't align with your name and identity, but unfortunately that seems like the safer option rn then sending your documents and applications in to this government so that they can do god knows what with them.

perhaps somewhat selfishly, i've been feeling a lot of relief and gratitude about the fact that i applied for my new passport in mid to late december and received it in the mail less than a week before the inauguration (along with all of the other documents i sent in with my application, including my old passport and the court order issuing my legal name change). i've been grateful that i dodged this bullet so narrowly, but i'm also just beyond devastated for the trans folks who didn't.

[grand hearth]

Ty Tibi

Man, I have to change my name

Ive chosen Samael as long for Sam

It’s so much paperwork…and I
Got other things.pick your battles yknow

But maybe…I can work on it today

[misty harness]

this stuff is super concerning to me bc I changed my gender marker on my driver's license but haven't changed anything else yet, I'm probably gonna go have that undone soon just to be safe 😖

[grand hearth]

Ugh. Made some calls. There’s already so many hoops

[winter comet]

i havent had any of my legal shit changed bc i had the opportunity to put m on my license when i forfeited my texan dl but i didnt want any smoke with transphobia when having my card checked in any capacity including and especially the airport

bc i look like a woman to the average cis person and i also have an old white woman name as it is which sometimes clashes w my "ethnic" appearance

[grand hearth]

I want to change my gender marker but Kansas did away with that a couple years ago lol

[glossy dagger]

I’m afraid of changing my name

[winter comet]

last time i checked texas not only did that but they were takin names of people who tried

i am not sure what the situation evolved into since

[grand hearth]

Jesus

[clear zodiac]

i don't even have money to change my gender marker

and now i can't apply for a passport anymore

[winter comet]

i also am not totally sure if i had all the facts when i read up on it to be fair but i do know they did not wanna change gender markers UNLESS it was clerical error

and fuck tsa i swear you gotta be transphobic to work for it

man
i was fortunate enough to be able to move up to washington state on the good graces that my boyfriend's parents are well off enough to let me stay in their house on very low rent (which they have not yet asked for since i started my job recently)

my bf had his name change and everything years ago but his passport is the One thing that still has his birth name and shit so that's great for him
i have not had a usable passport since i was a child so

im not giving into doomerism but it would have been super nice to get on my name change shit last year but i didnt have the income for it
my boyfriend makes pretty good money but i wouldnt feel good having him drop all that money on bureaucratic hell

theyre testing the waters but little did they know theyre dipping their toes into waters with fucked up lil amoebas

[winter comet]

🫡

[glossy dagger]

https://tenor.com/view/trans-rights-don-chan-taiko-taiko-no-tatsujin-da-don-gif-1823984295515857884

[golden plover]

If it's like that you might just emigrate to Canada or something outside of that idiot's reach.

Like, actually

[clear zodiac]

i'm 19 with no money

[golden plover]

Damn, hope you escape that place sometime.

It doesn't look like it will better for trans people anytime soon

.

I'm getting genuinely worried for you trans people in the US

[winter comet]

they can't get rid of us and you know what they say
if you can't beat em join em
their nightmares of being transed will come true if they don't stop playin around

also im not saying nothing bad is gonna happen and we won't have a fight ahead of us but as per usual what trump's administration is doing is throwing a fuck ton of EOs at the wall and seeing what sticks but also to demoralize and destabilize marginalized groups further

just bc he says something will happen doesn't mean it will not get blocked somewhere along the line
that being said we can't all just sit back and bite our nails

[misty harness]

can't immigrate without a passport in the first place

but yeah, Danny is right, almost all of these EOs about trans rights will probably be blocked in courts, so there will be time to fight it

[golden plover]

... That's literally the tactic Nazi Germany used to keep in the Jewish...

[misty harness]

it's more about the psychological impact right now, their hatred makes them want us to suffer for the sake of suffering

[misty harness]

we have been calling trump and the GOP fascists for a reason

[winter comet]

the fearmongering is key rn

they want to make us too afraid to leave the house and organize and take care of ourselves and each other

[winter comet]

absolutely. there are so many other heavily vulnerable groups of people that don't also occupy our intersection of transness (as well as many that do) and just bc trans rights are a pet "hot button topic" of reactionaries rn doesn't mean the end for us because it didn't and won't mean the end for other people who have continually been a target of this country's cruelty. we have to keep caring
even if we can't singlehandedly do it all or do much we just have to keep caring in every way that we can

even just showing up for your friends and giving advice for younger people/people who are maybe earlier on in their journeys, donating clothes/money/food in a mindful way for those who have the resources, keeping your finger on the pulse of local stuff etc

they want us blocked off from each other even more

and for those who don't have trans people they know near them irl, those who are still in the closet at home, even keeping touch with people online does count and i know it's hard but you will live to see the other end

[scenic falcon]

hoping that the next president isn't a psychopath conservative and will remove the binary executive orders. I'm sure they'll use it to make themselves look good, but idc

[digital geyser]

hey gang if anyone has any resources/ways non-american trans people can help yall now do share. it's horrific and i can't really say much more except 🫂

[valid sun]

the thing about texas is that it's an order that can still be challenged in court, it's not exactly law right now. but no one has challenged it in court

[frozen breach]

i've seen this image so many times but it never stops being the realest fucking shit

[last pilot]

guys.. please don’t tell me this is what I think it is

[frozen breach]

i fear it might be...... 😔

i've been in the same boat bro i get it. luckily you can still come back from this; you're nowhere near the point of no return

afaik most drugs prescribed for hair loss only block dht and not testosterone, so it won't interfere with hrt at all

[last pilot]

Imma talk to my doc about it then, but man this scared the shit out of me

just to make sure, it can’t get like.. rlly bad in like two months right. idk when my next appointment will be

[frozen breach]

in the next two months i don't think it will get much worse

idrk how fast these things progress because i kinda only noticed it on myself when it was already worse than yours, but i don't think it gets worse that rapidly

and even if it does im pretty sure treatment can help not only prevent further thinning/receding/hair loss but it can also help you regain some thickness and volume which helps a lot

to be clear i haven't started treatment for it yet so dont quote me on this stuff, this is based on the research i've done but im also very sleepy rn so idk if im remembering everything correctly

[valid sun]

TBH on hrt i got a matured widows peak hairline but it wasnt receding. now with this pattern im not sure because the way that it's not entirely smooth and goes up further so i would talk to a doctor. def a difference between a mature and a receding hairline

[glossy dagger]

menstrual cramps will kill me

https://tenor.com/view/cat-crying-cat-cat-meme-cat-crying-meme-crying-cat-meme-gif-1182720488497099882

[golden plover]

Stay strong, I don't have them, but my partner does, they absolutely suck.

[grand hearth]

I had a nightmare recently that I started menstruating regularly again. That was fun!

[glossy dagger]

luckily this time I'm just feeling pain

https://tenor.com/view/cat-explosion-sad-explode-gif-15295996165959499721

I usually feel sick too

[hallow bronze]

My dad bought me two pairs of women's shorts, ally or clueless middle aged man?

(today he did start randomly talking supportive about a trans girl who's being bullied in my country even if he was a bit clueless)

[winter comet]

https://x.com/fairyruuti/status/1886382905443729808

꧁Ruuti꧂🏳️‍⚧️ (@fairyruuti) on X

The ultimate life form whats you to achieve your ultimate form

X · Feb 3, 2025, 11:55 AM

[grand hearth]

So true

[winter comet]

genuinely i keep tracking this stupid figure down bc i want it to keep my glasses on for when i sleep

he's not hard to find it's an exgpro cable guys figure it's just i think they got gooped over holiday season

shadow merch is always scalped too since resellers are trying to exploit fandoms where people can't resist fomo or don't look into market value

[next mason]

SHADOW MY BELOVED :D

[grand hearth]

The deed is done. I’ve filed my name change

Court date Mar 12

[grand hearth]

man

Mom turned it into a “come to jesus” talk

Cried due to regurgitated religious trauma

Fucking ruined

Fuck me I guess!

[glossy dagger]

MY BIRTHDAY 😮😮😮

[glossy dagger]

YIPPPPIEEE THANK YOU SO MUCH

https://tenor.com/view/cat-hyppy-gif-9091438043443803258

[grand hearth]

YIPPEE!!

[digital geyser]

has anyone had the experience where ur in a space where the majority are cisgender men and you end up feeling like the token girl in that space? my dnd group is all amab and 3/6 are cis men and i just don't feel like a guy when interacting with most of them except the two other trans people and it makes me feel reallyu out of place. i dont get this when i'm in all trans spaces, like i was talking to my friend about this and her and her partner who was also there are both trans and i didn't feel so unmasculine and argh

(or vice versa for transfemmes)

i think if i was on T it would be a lot less of a thing

[misty harness]

even on estrogen I feel this way hanging out with all cis women a lot of the time thh

[winter comet]

honestly mostly due to my voice sometimes i do feel less than around dudes including those who r trans but on t
in these moments i just try to remember that cisness is not some kind of attainable goal or platonic ideal of my gender

i may be different in some ways but not less than

[grand hearth]

I tend to feel frequently like I’m not masc enough around dudes but I’ve been getting man’d and sir’d more often and that kind of shocks me into realization that most people now probably don’t think assume im a woman at first glance

[balmy pond]

Such an amazing feeling when that first happens ^_^

I get Hella imposter syndrome around Cis women, I think its something you learn to not give a fuck abt

My mom doesn't wear makeup and spends 8-10 hours a day in subfreezing temperatures lugging around 50-80 pound wheelbarrows of grain and horseshit, but no one's gonna tell her she's not a woman

[grand hearth]

My hair seems to also be thinning, which is fixable but at first gave me anxiety

And then I remembered: it’s so much better to grow older and have old man problems than live with old woman problems

[balmy pond]

I just go with the flow. If people get it they get it, if not then oh well

[balmy pond]

Feel the exact same way but in the opposite direction, I can't fucking wait to be an old lady 😛

[grand hearth]

Hell yeah!!!

It always gives me a sense of joy to remember that I’m actually out and not having to pretend I’m something I’m not anymore. The rest of my life is ahead of me

If I never pursued this happiness I would have probably never met my dear partner or make the friends I have. It’s good

[balmy pond]

Same

It kinda blows my mind tbh

Like damn I'm actually the woman I was always meant to be

I'm really her

[chrome snow]

I just looked at myself in the mirror today to see that my hair is growing longer.

This is the first step of my master plan.

:3

[winter comet]

sometimes i wish i could say i don't experience gender euphoria and that i don't think euphoria is something every single trans person has to feel to be content with themselves without other people trying to meddle and say "you'll experience it one day!" or "that's sad i wish you could experience it"

i've been out since 14 and knew about being trans since i was like 12. i'm 25 now
i think i would have experienced it at least once if i was someone that could

obviously not talking about people who experience it saying its fake or bad but in this case with people kind of trying to push against me on this it's like a weird analogous thing to forced body positivity in that sometimes. its ok to just exist and be neutral. i don't have to jump for joy and celebrate myself it's good enough to just be here and i'm not on a wrong path or broken or not radical enough for not experiencing euphoria

[grand hearth]

yeah, I think that’s perfectly valid

I think eventually this will become such a mundane part of my existence that it won’t be something that feels so new, in the best way possible

[winter comet]

thats how it feels to me
mundane
its just who ive been for so long
to be fair im not on hrt yet but knowing myself it will be less novel and more like getting something fixed like if a frame has been crooked and you finally got up and tilted it back

and to further clarify i think the phenomenon of gender euphoria is beautiful and it is radical in the face of a world that wants us to hide and be miserable but i also just think some of us don't really experience it and that at the end of the day it's enough for us to still show up yknow
kinda like those of us who are out juxtaposed w those of us who are closeted
its just how we gotta survive and we're all different

[frozen breach]

im so late to this but i very much agree on the "not feeling gender euphoria" front. transitioning for me hasn't brought me joy so much as it's brought me relief, or peace i guess

as an example: a couple months after i had top surgery once i could fully function on my own again, i remember sitting in my dorm room doing homework and suddenly just realizing that the constant undercurrent of distress and discomfort that i had been feeling for years was finally just... gone. and while the realization that i didn't have tits anymore didn't bring me much joy initially and never really has, the realization that a huge source of my dysphoria is gone and i can be more present in my body and my life now did bring me some joy

for me i guess it's less about euphoria than it is about a lack of dysphoria, or about correcting a wrong like danny said. but imo, as trans people i feel like we all have the common experience of transition improving our wellbeing in some way, so past a certain point there's no reason to split hairs over what that has to look like

[winter comet]

you're so trueing rn

i think that last bit especially with the common ground being transition inherently improving our wellbeing

i think it's wonderful that some people feel genuinely elated when something they do or wear or achieve feels more congruent w their gender but it's ok that not everyone will experience that the same way

[next mason]

If you're in need of good news today: my name got officially changed!! i'm officially called Maxime Matthieu Noah :D

[bright oak]

WOOHOO

wish i could get mine changed😭u guys know how to convince ur parent??

my dad said itd be easier for me to get it changed when km 18 but that literally makes no sense

[frozen breach]

the only reason it would be easier as an adult is because you wouldn't need parental consent, so him not giving parental consent is literally the sole cause of the problem that he's warning you about 💀

i got mine changed as a minor and it was honestly easier for me because i just had to let my parents handle all the paperwork and shit rather than doing it myself

[sudden zephyr]

Ooh this reminds me I think I'm changing my name when I'm starting my transition

Nenita Micheal Scott here we COMEEEEEE

I like both names I have honestly but prefer Nenita is there a way to have both as first names some way..??

[clear zodiac]

is it safe to get a name change order?

as long as i don’t tell any state officials (california) i’m trans i should be good right?

[grand hearth]

Yall, do you know which organizations to alert for a notice of name change? I’m collecting a list

[misty harness]

uhh off the top of my head, your state's vitals office, the dmv, passport office if you have one, social security, i think irs? any company you have financial involvement with (credit cards, banks, student loan servicers)

there's probably some trans-friendly law firm in your state that has a list online

good luck with anything federal rn though 🙁

[digital geyser]

cis people can and do change their names so while i'm not sure about a super obviously gendered name i presume it wouldnt be too much of a flag? i'm not american tho so otterShrug i hope that is reassuring tho (again correct me if i'm being wrong and european)

[bright oak]

this too for sure. he doesnt wanna be responsible+prob some weird bit of trnsphobic or something idk

hes like 'what if you change ur mind' like. what do u mean by that dad.

ive been going by jay for 5+ years and everybody i know calls me it soo. dont know what u mean bud😔

[magic verge]

there has been someone who had their documents taken for getting a name change alone without a gender change, this was in chicago https://www.reddit.com/r/trans/comments/1ijhe3g/my_passport_got_seized_even_though_i_was_just/

[bright oak]

jesus

yeah it also helps to note im in the us and want to get my name changed before trump makes it impossible

[magic verge]

i'm honestly erring on the side of caution atm and doing neither. which is depressing but there's going to be a time after this where we won't have to worry about this shit

[golden plover]

Then you change it back

[bright oak]

right😭

[golden plover]

It's just changing how you get referred to, and making it easier for people like medical staff to refer you by your preferred bame.

[magic verge]

i think there isn't a guarantee that your documents will or will not get seized if you do the name change alone. in my state you can indicate if your name change is for gender affirmation purposes so you're not required to publish your name change in the newspaper. so i wonder if they pull for that

[bright oak]

maybe i could use a different reason for name change

like, nickname used so often that it makes it easier to just change the name?

[magic verge]

in my state the two reasons that you would actually have to explicitly state the name change is for (cuz you'd be exempt from the bit where your name change would be published in the newspaper) are gender affirmation and if you're escaping abuse

otherwise you would go through the process and your name change would be public information

[bright oak]

damn

guess that idea is a no then

[magic verge]

yeahh i believe the primary reasons for it are to a) have a public record that the name change occurred except in the aforementioned cases where you don't have to and b) to deter fraud lmao

[misty harness]

yeah, another purpose of it was so that loan services and debt collectors could stay informed about name changes. they'd follow classifieds for name changes to make sure people didn't try to dodge them via name change

[magic verge]

there goes my plan to change my name fifty different times with each name change costing like 300 dollars /s

[winter comet]

debt collectors harass my family bc of my dad who hasnt been in contact w my mom and i for over 10 years

i also think my number gets used for a lot of fake stuff

my mom will straight up just yell at them to leave her alone i will pick up and not speak and then hang up

[clear zodiac]

i might change my name to vesper ceres andromeda

not sure how i’ll manage it in california

[winter comet]

ive been sitting on my name change now that the administration is what it is
i got hired too late so now i have money but we are ironing this bullshit out

i will not share what im changing my name to bc i value my internet privacy unfortunately but trust it goes hard

[golden plover]

First name: Goes
Last name: Hard

[magic verge]

that's wild

YOU ARE AN ENEMY OF THE CCP. in order to stop being an enemy of the CCP please take out your credit card and tell us what the funny numbers are :)

oh my god

[winter comet]

my area code is from a smaller city but i think something about it just seems conveniently usable idk

[next harbor]

Hey there Maxime Matthieu Noah! Your name sounds like a nice breeze of air off a set of alps!

[honest lake]

I OUTED MYSELF TO MY MOM

AND IT ALL WENT VERY WELL

and we both agreed to not tell my dad cuz hes a hater

[digital geyser]

hell yeah trans wins

[honest lake]

yurrr

[winter comet]

oops wrong chat lol

meant to send this to my sis bc im giving them some context rn

i was telling them at the moment i'm sitting on the name change rn
INITIALLY i was gonna change my name and gender marker and then get married but now i don't know when the fuck thats gonna clear up so i would rather just get married

[grand hearth]

gotcha, that’s kinda what i was thinking

It has been filed so court date is in march

[bright oak]

my dad says as soon as im 18 i can get it changed but if im a minor i could changr my mind

like??

my stepmom said something like 'u look like the bad guy bc her mom says yes to everything' because my mom would accept me changjng my name so. idk how to feel abt that i fear

[bright oak]

thank u sm, unfortunately it is not meant in a supportive way

not really sure why it matters so much to me, but it does

[misty harness]

feeling rejected sucks period, it makes sense that it matters