transdome

[valid sun]

i had a very stereotypical revelation of being trans that happened young. i think the first thing people who are unsure should experiment with is clothing and pronouns.. and then reflect on how that ties to your gender. it's possible it will and it's possible that maybe its a situational thing, or that you only like being perceived a certain way by certain people, etc

[frozen breach]

i was talking to my dietitian who i see for my eating disorder about how transitioning and feeling more like my body actually belonged to me was a big reason why i started doing things like fixing my sleep schedule, eating better, seeking out eating disorder treatment, starting to work out, etc. because now that my body feels more like mine i feel so much more motivated to take care of it and shit

maybe that's not what you meant idk

[lean harbor]

yep . felt .

[valid sun]

hrt wont magically fix your life its just that your life will get bigger than just having to survive and you can begin thriving

[lean harbor]

i shaved my arms and legs for the first time and saw all the self harm scars

first time in my life i was like

oof. that was not very pussy pop sissy slay of you girlie.

stopped being an alcoholic . stopped checking the mirror to see if it was still starving . stopped throwing my life away for meaningless relationships .

[frozen breach]

shit can be super difficult at first after years and years of near-constant dissociation, but once u push through the hard stuff it just gets so much better

like i did not think it was physically possible for me to be this happy and be doing this well

[lean harbor]

perceived a foreseeable future for once in my life , and experienced the genuine reality of my past .

well i mean

first you start hrt then a few months go by and you're looking around . like actually looking around . you stop and think . HUH ? I AM A CRAZY PERSON AREN'T I ?

lmao

[frozen breach]

i think for me more so than anything hrt made me actually feel like a person

[lean harbor]

exactly

[frozen breach]

and not just like. a thing

a being

[lean harbor]

like oh

this is my eyeballs and my brain

[frozen breach]

fr!!!!

i just feel so much more at peace

"testosterone makes you angry" yeah well actually it made me chill the fuck out and stop being angry at the entire world all the time!!

[lean harbor]

feels like nothing is happening sometimes , and that's ok , because nothing is happening
sometimes lol

makes more sense when it happens to you

kinda why i don't really give a shit what anyone says or thinks about me . getting misgendered at this point is kinda rad . like oh you think i'm masculine 🥰

that's so cuuuute no one ever said that befooore

ykw imma say it

i'm more masculine on estrogen than i was in testosterone

idk why but it just made me more okay with everything that i am

i'm just a gorl

[frozen breach]

i've heard a lot of trans ppl say similar things yeah. like i think gender nonconformity gets easier when you aren't constantly fighting to be seen as your actual gender (or even to feel like your actual gender internally)

i'm not personally super gender non-conforming, but i've been growing my hair out lately and back in february i wore a skirt for the first time in years and i think i wouldn't have had the confidence to do that stuff if i wasn't on t

[lean harbor]

yooooo femboy !

let's goooo ✨

my friend Eli and i use to go to the arcade and try to be as insanely gender-bent as we possibly could as a past time activity . it was so fun . he would be a femboy on T and i would be a butch on E .

sometimes i'd sprinkle a lil PCOS in there for extra points

[chilly imp]

hiii

[stuck portal]

hello shordie

[hallow bronze]

Hiii

[frozen breach]

i mean i usually present very masc so i wouldn't quite say femboy lol, but yeah i've started getting more comfortable with femininity little by little as my transition goes on

[chilly imp]

honestly I'm the same way. It's nice just being myself and not feeling like I have to be a certain way

[hallow bronze]

Yeah, I know that if it wasn't the default perception of myself so to speak, I'd be so much more comfortable being masculine

[lean harbor]

ok bud

😛

[lean harbor]

boy lesbians rise up

[chilly imp]

boy-girl lesbian yuh. A few friends have said I was a butch lesbian type vibe. Masculine things but with a feminine spin on it

[lean harbor]

giving futch ? based

for me it depends on how tall i am in comparison to the gp

if the majority of people around me are taller than 6ft then i'm not opening a single door

i can walk through walls

[lean harbor]

but other than that . same

i act like i'm tough shit but this is me

[digital geyser]

was this intended as a response to my silly post about the blahaj btw? or am i misreading this

[lean harbor]

yeah hehe

it was more so in response to the response the other person had

[steady swift]

having the lovely trans experience of being stuck w my permit photo(i look feminine as hell)

not venting about it i just pulled out my permit to look at it again and was like. oh. huh.

feels like a trans coming of age thing though in a way so thats a bitter bright side to it i guess

[stuck portal]

i actually look like a gormless ogre in my permit photo. this collective experience is more reason to kill The Dmv

[opal dock]

is it a universal trans experience to get a fucked up dmv photo?

[misty harness]

I think it's just a universal experience period tbh

[steady swift]

just sucks that i have to use a photo of someone who doesnt look like me as my primary form of identification

but the collective experience makes it a little more funny lol

[chrome snow]

God, my driver's license photo is so fucked up that it's not even funny.

My hair looked like it got combed with the Snickers bar.

[frozen breach]

fuck dmv photo all my homies hate dmv photo

oh yeah my top surgery is in a week all of a sudden wtf

[chrome snow]

WWWWWWW

[stuck portal]

.fms dj khaled i all do is win

[tardy creek]

@stuck portal has leveled up! (1 ➜ 2)

[jaunty elm]

https://open.spotify.com/track/5NEKjqTQPKiqOiOG8YxLdS

[valid sun]

i just got a new photo for my drivers permit and i had my hair tied up in a bun cause its wet.. the photo did my neckbeard too much justice cause now it looks like i have actual hairs on my chin 😭

i have very thick facial hair it's just that it's all on. my neck and sideburns and not in a place that matters 😑

[lean harbor]

i did a full face of make up plus did my hair up all nice for my ID. whenever i walk into the gas station for something i need my ID for this is exactly how it goes.

hey what's up dude man bro
. . can i see ur ID ?
👀
alright buddy have a good one

it's always the man to buddy pipeline

[lean harbor]

i had a very similar problem when i was trying to have a beard . i ended up putting beard oil on my face for months and that kinda worked .

it was a bad idea

[frozen breach]

what is up with so many trans guys getting saddled with the neckbeard and sideburns combo lmao

it's either that or the poop stache

it feels like a prank from the universe tbh. "oh, so you want facial hair? that can be arranged... hehehe"

[lean harbor]

i'm trying to think of any men i know with a nice beard .

are they even real ? is a nice beard even a thing ?

OPE forgot nolan

okay i know one man with a nice beard

[grand hearth]

I know a few

[valid sun]

IT SUCKS like i know it's coming in everywhere else because there's actual hair folicles like on tbe side of my face and jawline now but theyre so small i can only keep the neckheard trimmed

i have a mustache already which is good

but man my mustache used to be whisps and so it was the neckbeard sideburn thing again

lots of guys go through it too

cis guys*

[grand hearth]

I think my sides are growing in kinda nice

My genetics aren’t great for facial hair tho (wasian)

[frozen breach]

true! i think i notice it more in trans guys because we're sometimes more reluctant to shave, due to how excited we are to have any facial hair in the first place. i didn't want to shave for the longest time but then i had a moment where i realized "this shit genuinely does not look good" lmao

[frozen breach]

yeahhh, aside from celebrities i can't really think of any

actually, all of my uncles have pretty good beards. but one of theirs is more like a heavy five o'clock shadow, another one is almost entirely grey, and my third uncle is a hipster tech bro so the beard is kind of a built-in feature

[lean harbor]

i have an idea

[fervent grove]

traaaaaa

[clear zodiac]

my doctor and i discussed my gender identity two weeks ago

she set up an appointment with my psychiatrist so he can outline the path for my medical transition

[steady swift]

omg?? amazing

i did not know the doctor just. did that

(i dont know the first thing about medically transitioning lmao)

[grand hearth]

tbh I just scheduled an appointment with the gender affirming clinic here and went from there

but I’m well over 18 so I probably didn’t need as many sign offs

[valid sun]

good luck!!!! it can be very nerve wracking and exciting

[valid sun]

if youre over 18 they're a lot more lax about it, some clinics even do informed consent

if youre under 18 usually it consists of going to a gender therapist for a gender dysphoria diagnosis and after a year or two of having the diagnosis (and in most states being 16 is the minimum age to start HRT, for me texas had no minimum age at the time) they will let you start HRT after having a 3 hourish conference with your parents and having them sign off on it

SOME gender affirming clinics will be more lax on minors too IF they take minors. a lot of them will not take minors anymore 👎

informed consent means they will explain how HRT will affect you and the risks and when you sign off on it you'll get a prescription. planned parenthood does this

[digital geyser]

(uk based) i went to a good doctor (known for being good for gender stuff at my local gp) for my gender clinic referral and it took that appointment and a bit of info i did online only for me to be referred to a waiting list for a GIC. obviously i'm going to be on that list for a while bc its nhs gender care but yeah

idk if this is a universal experience but that's how it is for me as an over 18 in the uk

and that doctor was insanely good, literally only flaw of the entire appointment was a bmi getting measured jumpscare

he was really understanding of my anxiety based reasons for why i dont want my chosen name/pronouns on my record and literally didn't doubt me at all. was completely respectful of me being both ftm and nonbinary and only went "ok so do you want to be at this GIC for this reason here"

and i've heard other people have good experiences with him too, but again he might be an outlier

considering another GP at that same surgery called me she/her without having asked my pronouns after i'd told him "hey i have gender issues"

the info online i filled out before the appointment

i think in the uk they tend to be more grilly on your gender once you get to a GIC, but i'm not 100% on that because i haven't had my appointment yet and wont for a few years (i love being on multiple long waiting lists i also am on the waiting list for an autism assessment which my gp fudged by not officially referring me until a month after they'd said they had bc of an error)

idk if the cass review will also make this harder for under 25s. i believe cass had come out when i had this appointment, and if not then i know other ppl who have been referred by the same guy since it came out. i didn't have any issue though and i'm 19

[misty harness]

idk if we need to share blatantly transphobic shit here but i guess reminder that "transwomen" with no space is pushed by terfs to linguistically push the idea that "trans" is not an adjective

[bright bane]

That's insane 😭 they're so obsessed with us n for what

[valid sun]

yea idk i dont like seeing transphobic stuff in a trans space cause i gotta deal with it in so many places anyways 😅

[balmy pond]

Me getting ready for work?

[valid sun]

Wtf his feet do like pitter patters

thats so cute

[timid burrow]

this confused me for a second

me and claire are gonna fight for the name

idont care abt 70 liams but two claires too many

[hallow bronze]

I challenge all the salems, trans or not

[tardy creek]

@hallow bronze has leveled up! (3 ➜ 4)

[hallow bronze]

mg cord name tournament

[timid burrow]

yes we will all fight at new york long island

[hallow bronze]

why there

[timid burrow]

cause itsz where matt grew up

[hallow bronze]

fair enough

[valid sun]

Well the strangest thing happened to me today, i got contacted by my biomom for the first time in my life (she went to jail in texas and then got extradited to colorado to serve another sentence afterwards when i was maybe 3 months old and my parents already were taking care of me).. and i looked at her profile and saw that she was some evangelical transphobic trumpie nut and was like nah. so i told her im not interested and to clean her act up and blocked her (didnt even let her reply) because why should i even go down the route of introducing someone who's never been in my life before and have to go through essentially the transphobic christian parent pipeline when i havent had to deal with that before (and have had to deal with other shit). my parents are amused and we had a good laugh about it but i'm not even sure why she did it. she's completely off the bonkers and a total piece of shit and probably wouldve asked me for money from what i know from everyone else. So that was interesting. also i knew i had half siblings but now i know for sure what one of them looks like. interesting

Not showing the full conversation cause it's a bunch of nothingburger but this is the final message i sent her

her loss anyways 🤷‍♂️ feel bad for her kid though

Apologies i use the word transsexual so often that i default to it instead of transgender. nothing wrong with the word transgender but i forget a lot of people view transsexual as a negative term

First time i had to stand up to myself to that kinda thing but like lol it was so anticlimatic. like yea girl bye

[paper totem]

that is indeed a very strange situation. good on you for standing ur ground though

[valid sun]

i appreciate that

Idk why she wanted to contact me after 18 years but again my guess is money. she already blocked my mom on facebook. girl please

[paper totem]

if she is actively spouting transphobic nonsense there really isnt any point to giving her the time of day especially since you are living your own life and doing well

your response was great

[valid sun]

yeah and also she has never been active for a reason. she is a real piece of shit and i should feel bad because shes mentally unstable but shes self aware and doesnt gaf. So like my other family members (grandma that gave birth to her and my twin sibling). so i cant feel bad 🤷‍♂️

i didnt want to be mean or friendly so i guess i did that right

[paper totem]

the tone was very no nonsense which was perfect imo

[valid sun]

im glad it reads that way

[paper totem]

also sidenote goddamn dude charge ur phone :P

[valid sun]

I KNOWWW SORRY i had to practice driving in the parking lot today and forgot to charge it overnight

[paper totem]

if it dies it dies i suppose

[valid sun]

thankfully its on the charger now i had to get some mexican molasses gingerbread pigs (i forgot what theyre called) from the grocery store and my mom gave me mac and cheese in compensation

[paper totem]

compensatory mac and cheese. hell yeah

[valid sun]

Yeah and going to prison isnt a moral failure by any means. definitely didnt mean it that way (not saying that ur saying i said that).. context is important; she committed $500k in embezzlement with my grandma, stole tons of money from people and even tried to squat in someones house

so safe to say that her actions mean more than her going to prison honestly

like thats some CRAAZY shit

Yah i know ur intention is clear to me tibi

No problem tibi focus on that pizza so u dont burn urself (i burned myself on casserole last week)

but yea #DodgedThe Bullet sorry lady but your sons gay ✌️ better luck next time

Tibi you make me feel proud of myself thank you

i kind of write that stuff off as me not wanting to deal with it and kinda felt bad after doing it but now i feel like i did the right thing

Nlo was right though 2% phone battery is a sin

[frozen breach]

yeah you 100% did the right thing by prioritizing yourself over the feelings of someone who has never been in your life and would only bring you negativity if allowed in. i read ur messages and honestly i can't think of anything that you could have done or said better. based on everything you've shared about this person, i can't imagine that her motives for contacting you were at all innocent or pure, and it's a good thing you realized that before allowing yourself to potentially get entangled in her nonsense. it's completely reasonable to not want to deal with things that you know are only going to harm you or make you feel shitty, and it's nothing to feel bad about. i'm proud of ya for shutting her down so quickly and firmly without stooping to her level; like i said, i can't imagine anything you could have done better 🫡

[timid burrow]

i feel like its a very positive if anything idk

[valid sun]

people def have their preferences which i respect

[hard galleon]

YOOOOOOO

[stuck portal]

i love saying the word transsexual

[valid sun]

i like it but i have friends who don't

i dont mind if people dont care for it as long as they don't infringe on me being able to call myself that. but that really goes for every label 🤷‍♂️ if its not me its not my business. so theyre respectful about it

i get why some people dont like it too but i personally identify with it more because i dont feel like im transitioning my gender but transitioning my sex characteristics to match my gender which is male. thats how i interpret it. i am around older people a lot who also use it

i dont view transgender as bad or wrong though cause it's simply a label. if people like a label thats good. there's nuances to it but gender is such an individual personal thing so everyone should get to feel comfortable with at least something

sorry i always have that rant when the terms brought up cause people have assumed im exclusionary because i use it. Not at all

[digital geyser]

that's understandable! power to you. i don't use it because i've seen it used by too many negative/exclusionary contexts, but also tbh when i see ppl using it in spaces like this i usually assume they are more radical and not yk shitty exclusionists (like in this space it isn't an immediate red flag like it would be in a more...iffy space if that makes sense)

it's like reclaiming the t slur but a lot less extreme, i think if you're trans you have a rigth to use whatever term you have for yourself, as long as if someone isn't ok with a term you don't call them that

and i think the use for these terms will always depend on the context of whose using them and how they are using them yk

i'm in a yapping mood today apologies if i repeated myself much

(also i'm of the mindset of who gives a shit how someone identifies as long as they aren't hurting anyone else)

[clever badge]

being in gender-inclusive dorms for my freshman year is a life saver

i have a private bath with a roommate who's also trans

my biggest fear going into college was communal bathrooms (esp because im going to a school with a really popular football program which means a lot of jocks)

juuust wanted to share my joy somewhere because i think if this were not the case i would not have much joy to share

[digital geyser]

that's awesome!!

[frozen breach]

that's so real actually i really loved being in the gender-inclusive dorms last year (and i guess this year too but i'm not back on campus yet lol)

my school's gender-inclusive first year dorm also has single use and double use bathrooms on every hall instead of communal ones (the double use ones have one shower and one toilet each, but they also have two sinks which means that technically up to four people can be in there at once, but i usually just use the single use one)

not having a roommate has also been a lifesaver for me personally, but that's probably more cuz of social anxiety and autism than cuz of being trans

[pulsar mortar]

for anyone who does like voice masculinization who’s not on hrt do u struggle with your voice going up in pitch like depending on who you’re talking to

like when i talk to ppl i enjoy talking to my voice goes up a lot and it makes my dysphoria kick in

[frozen breach]

i definitely struggled with this pre-hrt, and still kinda do on hrt

although i think sometimes i would think my voice was going up in pitch when in reality i was just emoting more/speaking more excitedly, because i think ppl associate more monotone voices with men and more expressive voices with women (which is weird tbh)

[misty harness]

it prob doesn't help much but keep in mind that it's natural for anyone's voice to get softer and higher pitched talking to people you are close with

[frozen breach]

^^^^^this as well

something i kinda tried to do though was to specifically practice laughing at a lower pitch, because when i'm with friends or loved ones i'm typically laughing a lot and when i would laugh it would kind of disrupt any effort i had been making to masculinize my voice

another thing i practiced a lot pre-hrt was inflection and specific vocal tics, because i honestly think that that contributes as much or even more to voice passing than pitch.

for example, i used to use "like" a lot as a filler word which is somewhat feminine codes (at least in the social/cultural circles i was in at the time), so i tried to replace "like" with "uh" or "um" as much as i could.

i also try to keep my voice the same pitch throughout a whole word or sentence rather than raise the pitch near the end which some people interpret as more feminine. so even when i'm having a good time and being very expressive with my voice, i just try to make sure i specifically don't raise my pitch at the end of sentences.

i still do both of these things even after almost two years of hrt, because like i said, inflection is at least as important as pitch.

honestly though, my biggest piece of advice is to just keep going with voice training and masculinization efforts; dysphoria often makes us think we're making less progress than we are, and as long as you're putting in the effort, i promise it will make a difference. i have friends who are a year or two on t and never bothered with voice training, and they struggle just as much if not more with voice passing as my friends who are pre-t but practice voice training regularly. the guys whose voices are the most cis-passing almost always have both the t and the voice training locked in. idk how much of my advice was helpful because i'm not a professional by any means, so i wanted to provide this encouragement as well. you've got this, man 💪💪

[spice sphinx]

Actually insane world that we live in that my old lady coworker who is like ron desantis fan number 1 (literally has a signed picture of him in her cubicle) genders me correctly and more consistently than like half the people in the office

Like behind closed doors she’s just racist to our indian coworker so maybe I’m just off the hook from her because I’m white

But like my supervisor is a generally really respectful guy except for the fact he always calls me sir

And this woman of all people? Went out of her way to make sure she introduced me as she/her to all the other people in the office

[balmy pond]

I've run into so many people like that

The most annoyingly conservative asshats but when they're face to face with a trans person? Actually like really cool and supportive and affirming for some reason?

I feel like those are just naturally reactionary people; it's probably what draws them to those political figures

Like whatever the loudest voice in the room or the most visible face they gravitate towards. Their instinct is to be nice but when the overwhelmingly dominate voice in their environment is cruelty they just go along with it

At least that's what I'd like to believe. More likely that they're too fake to confrontational transphobic in the moment

Tbh

[spice sphinx]

Tbh I think she's just a wolf in sheeps clothing

Average old white cis woman vibe

She makes vague alllusions to "some people" in the office being nitpicky and I know for a fact she's solely talking about the indian woman we work with

Me and her bonded over people being shitty to us in the past though, nice bit of intersectionality there we've got each other's backs

The indian woman not the desantis fan I mean

The old lady does the most petty shit I've noticed, has this big list of everyone's birthdays EXCEPT hers

also mispelled my name as jess instead of jen? idk how you mess that up

[misty harness]

yeah my racist transphobic neighbor at the last place I lived at would always pronounce my name weird, like she just couldn't accept that I had a basic feminine name like Sarah. She'd always say like "SAH-rah" or "se-RAH"

people like that love subtle slights against people, just little ways to deny acceptance

[pulsar mortar]

this helps a ton!! i unfortunately don’t have a lot of time to really do voice training cuz of school and bc of my family

[frozen breach]

trans people 🤝 people of color

people magically forgetting how the english language works when speaking to them

i knew a girl once who was named makiah (pronounced ma-KAI-uh), and our weird racist compsci teacher would constantly call her michaela despite being corrected dozens if not hundreds of times

and there were white kids in that class with wayyy more complicated names that he somehow managed to get right on the first day

i feel like people are weird about trans people's names in a similar way that they are with "non-white sounding" names. like i get people calling me allie all the time and it's like. ollie isn't that weird of a name what are you doing

i just hate when people refuse to even show the most baseline level of common decency by learning someone's name. it's the easiest thing in the world and some people just won't do it and it's so weird

idk this is getting incoherent i'm super tired and stressed rn but yeah. be normal about people's names it is not hard whatsoever 👍

[frozen breach]

fourteen hours ago i left home with my mom to go to the hospital for top surgery. now i'm less than five minutes away from home. i'm tired and dizzy and insanely sore, but i can't even begin to describe how happy i am. it feels right.

[frozen breach]

during the car ride home, my mom said that when she saw me post-op with my button-down shirt over my bandages and she saw how flat i looked, her first thought was "oh, this is what he's supposed to look like", and i almost teared up when she told me that

(in a good way ofc)

i still feel like i have phantom boobs; like when i take the dressings off it's just still gonna be my tits underneath lol 💀

[clear zodiac]

i just scheduled an over the phone appointment with my first gender therapist AAAAAAAAAAA

[grand hearth]

NO TITS NO TITS NO TITS NO TITS 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

[hallow bronze]

That's precious, congrats on the top surgery

[frozen breach]

they call me the boobless bastard (they do not call me this)

[frozen breach]

tysm

[chrome snow]

FREAKING WWWWWWWW

[pulsar mortar]

i just saw a really interesting video on how the meaning of the terms afab and amab have changed overtime. they explained how that because the terms have become closer to words that acronyms has basically changed the meaning of “i was afab/amab” to “i am afab/amab” and because of this change, these terms are being used interchangeably instead of “biological male” or “biological female” and is being used more in current as a descriptor of someone’s identity rather than being a past event that is no longer associated with you

sorry if this is worded weirdly, i found it really interesting and wanted to hear yalls thoughts

ill see if i can find the video and drop it here as well

https://vxtiktok.com/@elliejf2/video/7379416774434901290?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=mobile&sender_web_id=7403911358769464878

[hallow bronze]

yeah agreed with the trans part, I saw a post about the intersex part of it that was very enlightening and definitely needs to be heard, but because tumblr sucks I lost it

[misty harness]

100% agree and why I stopped using the term a while ago in most contexts. being called amab by someone else basically feels the same as being called biologically male and will ruin my day

[molten kite]

When I was enby I saw the term theyfab or theymab used by binary trans people and it honest to God started to feel like a slur

Like it's so bizarre seeing people revert to biological essentialism

[clever badge]

tbh this is also why i kinda just dont refer to myself as trans but rather just as a woman in situations where im able to do that

being trans implies that i was a man and now am a woman

i was never a man.

[molten kite]

Idk in my case I don't have much shame for the fact that I'm transitioning

[clever badge]

the fact that trans is also a political buzzword makes me like. my existence is not a political statement. im just me, existing

[molten kite]

Yeah I guess

[clever badge]

i dont have shame in the fact that i was born male but am a woman. more just that transgender implies that my gender changed but it really didnt

literally the word transe- (fill in the blank) would be more definitionally accurate

[molten kite]

I feel like my gender in specific - and identity in general - did change over time so I can't say with honesty I was "always" a woman

But I get that a lot of people have the opposite experience

[clever badge]

yeah everyone is different in their journeys which i think is beautiful

[molten kite]

But that feeling is why the need to revert back to biological terms and some sort of genesis of identity makes me so upset

[clever badge]

was just sharing my personal experience . how i always wanted to be girlier but was in a world where everything around me said it was wrong/incorrect. so i never really felt like a man, but more like i acted like one because i thought i was supposed to

[clever badge]

https://tenor.com/view/nitw-mae-borowski-yes-agree-gif-18010701

another reason why i just call myself a woman

bc male/female has absolutely nothing to do with it

[valid sun]

i have that sentiment which is why i use transsexual for myself and i also understand the sentiment that a lot of people have where they "didn't know" so i 100% get why people would use one or the either.. afab/amab is nowadays just used to say "which trans are you" it suckjs

i knew 2 intersex individuals who didnt use either terms cause they felt they'd been kinda "hijacked" out of its original meaning unfortunately

[frozen breach]

!!!!!!!!! this is like my soapbox omfg

part of it is that i'm a shitty little linguistics nerd and when i hear "i'm afab/amab" or the like, my instinct is to go "☝️🤓 erm that is not grammatically correct"

but also the usage of those terms as present descriptors is factually inaccurate as well

to me, being "afab" means that when i was born, the hospital staff observed that i had a vulva and then made the reasonable (but ultimately incorrect) decision to mark my sex down as "F" on my birth certificate. fifteen or sixteen years after that, that "F" was legally changed to an "M" with relative ease, thus rendering the fact that i was "afab" irrelevant. that's it. it really has no bearing on my current identity or sense of self. it's just a letter that used to be on my birth certificate and my passport.

[frozen breach]

no fr!!! something i say a lot is that i'd rather be called a tr-nny than an afab, and i mean that 100% no matter the context lol. at least if you call me a slur you're being honest.

[frozen breach]

oh yeah the amab/afab stuff is especially insidious when it comes to nonbinary people. it's literally just a way to try to force them back inside the gender and/or sex binary and it fucking sucks. to me, asking a nonbinary person what sex they were assigned at birth feels the same as saying "what binary gender am i going to treat you like" which is so weird and gross

[molten kite]

I consider it the primary reason I'm binary trans now

After being nonbinary for like 4 years I genuinely don't think people's perceptions have changed

[paper totem]

yep. this is why i take intentional steps to muddy the water as to what my assigned gender was because that shit is not relevant. it just is not

[molten kite]

Because unless you're giving full 100% androgyny people will still revert to calling you a boy/girl casually or they'll forget your pronouns or whatever

[paper totem]

^^^^^ this too aswell. even if i am presenting completely neutral (which isnt possible all the time) people will still just think i'm a binary gender 50/50 either way. it is a very strange experience when im talking to two people and one of them thinks im a guy and the other thinks im a girl

[steady swift]

rlly oddly specific question for the ppl here who have undergone top surgery

but do you have to take amoxicillin after

i dont have a whole lot of reasoning for this question im just curious and i unfortunately dont share many spaces with trans people who are well older than i am

[valid sun]

if you dont have an infection doctors wont give you antibiotics

it's bad practice

if you end up with an infection then 🤷‍♂️ it's a possibility but i'm unsure

[frozen breach]

yeah basically this

and idek if they would even if you ended up with an infection

the only thing they prescribed me when i left the hospital on thursday was oxycodone for pain management, and i have been taking them very sparingly and mostly using otc pain meds. not a word about antibiotics or any other prescriptions

i'll update after my post op appt next week though if they give me any new drugs

[grand hearth]

from a more clinical perspective, physicians do have to be careful about antibiotic prescription. American healthcare is very enthusiastic about prescribing antibiotics—which has its boons—but over time there has been an increase in resistance to common antibiotics by certain microbes. It is more or less becoming an arms race

Thus, you’re only given antibiotics when it seems indicated. Taking antibiotics if you don’t need them can also kill your gut flora and cause worse problems

[steady swift]

oh shoot i had no idea

the question rlly came to mind cuz i just had a minor oral surgery and they gave me a crap ton of it, way more than the pain meds(which sucked)

[grand hearth]

1. infections from oral surgery can be common
2. blood stream close to your brain

for operations close to certain vital parts of the body (or with common cases of certain infections), antibiotics can be given prophylactically

the mouth + teeth are very vascular and close to your brain, so any infection through that route can become a problem fast

[steady swift]

ohhh

[digital geyser]

so fr though it sucks so much

like i’m a nonbinary man but because i’m afab i’m liable to end up in the woman category anyway

[stuck portal]

i got catcalled today because i was trans lol

bisexual frat bros in their corvettes are fascinating in the way that they see trans women as women but to them that just means a diff flavor of sex object

at least the guy correctly clocked me cos i Dont Really Look Like A Woman

[clear zodiac]

do y’all usually go to a hospital for your gender affirming surgeries?

[frozen breach]

mine was in a hospital yeah

my consultation wasn't though, and my follow up won't be either; those are just at a doctor's office

[misty harness]

going on a weird internet search for old accounts and sites i used to be on in 2006-2009, its making me really sad to see that all of these spaces are completely gone now

Just some snapshots on the wayback machine

I bring that up here because my first super overt sign i was trans was that i "pretended" to be a girl online when i was in middle school and had a much better time interacting with people when i acted like that, and eventually the guilt over it was too much and i ghosted everything

Many lost friendships over not knowing what being trans was

[valid sun]

yes i did the exact same thing in elementary and middle school i didnt realize it was so common

[stuck portal]

i would always want to play as female characters in videojuegos but i was literally js Too Embarassed of myself to do so

[molten kite]

Whenever my friends would send picrews I'd make a girl one for myself without sending it

[pure finch]

i did this too

also yea exact same feeling twas sad

[frozen breach]

that's so real (except i'd do the opposite)

me frantically scrolling through the picrew options to find any semblance of facial hair

[inland schooner]

yo guys i just realised

i can change my sex on my birth certificate now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i just gotta pay like 1000000 million dollars but its ok because its worth it and ill never have to think about it again!!!!!!!!!

[valid sun]

BOOM!

it was $365 for me to change sex marker and name idk what state ur in but i would expect more or less $200-400

[opal dock]

how many people here take Estrace sublingually?

I've had people its better since the uptake is faster but im finding articles that say the pills aren’t designed to be disolved under the tongue :,))

[misty harness]

It depends on whether you have pills or tablets. Tablets dissolve under the tongue

I take mine sublingually

[opal dock]

i have those chalky tablets

[misty harness]

The little blue ones?

[opal dock]

yess

this thang

[inland schooner]

I'm Australian and luckily it's not quite that pricey!!! My state passed it 3 months ago properly (like it was passed I think a year but in effect NOW) and its like, 120$ just to get it changed, then 50$+ to get a new birth certificate

[hallow bronze]

crikey!

[misty harness]

yep that goes under the tongue

[valid sun]

The funniest shit just happened to me

i wont send the pharmacy messages but ive been fighting with my PCP to get my testosterone refilled bc she put the wrong instructions on it and refused to change it (the clinic and pharmacy have both been trying to get it changed and she refused to change it) so it's been since july 16th (a literal month) n the moment i went to buy DIY my friend gave me the instructions And that MOMENT I GOT A NOTIF THAT IT WAS REFILLED

😭😭😭😭

This some bullshit bro im crying

[frozen breach]

top surgery recovery has been going smoothly so far, but it's been very slow and uncomfortable and painful and annoying and it's really got me thinking about how fucking unfair it is that i had to get this surgery in the first place, y'know? like, it's fucked up that i have to go through all this shit to get my body to be the way it should have been all along

[tardy creek]

@frozen breach has leveled up! (12 ➜ 13)

[frozen breach]

there's no real point to this message, i just needed to vent and i figured some of y'all would get it

[deep oak]

Did my injections today
Life is sorta worth living

But I need to get new syringes because mine is a bit too thicc

[frosty ice]

hell yeah!

[pure finch]

https://x.com/GreatCheshire/status/1826353155019604309
hello comrades . i don’t want to be the bearer of bad news but . yeag to everyone in texas

Lady Emily (@GreatCheshire) on X

Texas DPS just made a ruling yesterday that they won’t let you change your sex marker on your driver license anymore even with court approval, and folks who try will get put on a registry. No reason stated for why. No order to change both name and gender will be recognized

Twitter · Aug 21, 2024, 8:18 PM

[paper totem]

man what the fuckkk

texas. what the hell is your problem.

why are they making a literal fucking registry of us

[fickle cypress]

peter piper packed a peck of pickled peppers

[spice sphinx]

Florida already has a similar thing, it doesn’t really make sense though because at a federal level it’s perfectly legal to change your sex on your passport and stuff, I doubt the state really has the power to call federal documents fraudulent with no real evidence

[misty harness]

yeah, issue is most people won't be willing to be the ones to take it to court

so it's gonna stop a lot of people and the play is to let it go to the supreme court so they can slap down the federal law

[valid sun]

i think i'm already in a database per ken paxton's letter in 2022 to arrest all parents with trans youth currently undergoing HRT but it was repealed and denied an appeal 6 times. there's a chance that this could get a similar appeal and repeal deal

texas has failed more times at trying to sign anti trans legislation into law than states like florida but it still happens. however im worried they'll keep it this way since beforehand they didnt have any laws regarding sex marker changes and so it was up to the judge

the only document not changed is my birth certificate so i guess i cant amend it now 🤷‍♂️ they will definitely challenge this in court because refusing to take a court order is contempt of court

it'll most likely be repealed if that's the route they go

[timid burrow]

Good thing i dont live there but i lowkey wanted to move to austin

[timid burrow]

I rly dont know how it's possible but politician's are able to find a way to make anything they disagree with illegal

[hallow bronze]

hi chat, anyone has tips on how to preserve nail paint for more than a day without it chipping?

[karmic pier]

hear me out

being trans is cool

[pure finch]

i agree

[stuck portal]

being trans sucks until it gets good and then being trans is awesome

[misty harness]

find a better nail polish, do two coats, use a base and top coat

[hallow bronze]

Will do :)

[strong heath]

oh fuck yeah this is great news. can i ask what state you’re in?

[inland schooner]

Qld!

[steady swift]

question for the more knowledgeable and experienced trans ppl here. can a psychiatrist possibly be able to help my parents understand that my dysphoria needs to be treated and help me start baby steps in my transition

kinda just wondering what role they could play and how helpful it may be

[whole monolith]

honestly if your parents are against it no problably not

[valid sun]

in my experience a gender therapist can

my mom was very against me transitioning but she met my gender therapist who was trans and he let her ask any/all questions about transition and was very non-judgemental and that's what helped her change her mind entirely 🤷‍♂️

[frozen breach]

i do think it depends on how against it your parents are and how willing they are to hear out other perspectives

like my dad was pretty hesitant about me starting medical transition, especially because i was under 18, but he wasn't super stubborn about it and when i started seeing a gender therapist in order to get a gender dysphoria diagnosis and the letter i needed to start hrt, my dad specifically asked if we could do some group sessions so that he could learn about why i and my therapist felt it was important that i be able to transition

it also depends on whether your folks are against transition in general or transition for you specifically; my dad has always been supportive of trans people in theory (even if he didn't always have the same knowledge about transness that he does now), but because i was a minor and to him my desire to transition seemed to come out of nowhere (it definitely didn't, but he doesn't live in my head so he had no way to know this), he wasn't so sure. but his issue wasn't opposition to transition on a general level

basically, it depends on the specifics of how against your transition your folks are, why they're against it, and how stubborn they are about it. a gender and/or family therapist might be able to help them do a complete 180, or it might do jack shit. it all depends on the specifics imo.

[steady swift]

your situation earlier on sounds a bit similar to mine. my dad isnt against trans people, i think if he were genuinely more informed esp by a professional he could have a change of heart about the idea of i myself transitioning

i just dont know how to find a gender therapist or anything...... cough

[solar orbit]

hi not entirely sure if im trans yet but i thought yall could use this if yall have any blogs or social medias or anything of that matter

found it on tumblr

[chrome snow]

I feel like I have said this so many times at this point.

Women being transphobic towards trans women that calls themselves feminist are not feminist.

[opal dock]

Claims to be feminist
Looks inside
Hates women

[valid sun]

i love the acronym FART it actually predates TERF

[misty harness]

quadratic transition lets go

[stuck portal]

now i gotta hear this lore

when did FART originate ive never heard it before

[grand hearth]

Check this out

[deep oak]

https://youtu.be/n4xQ0dw_kf4

need this once I get out of my parents place

[radiant obsidian]

woah

need to listen to this

[deep oak]

a nice road trip and some cuddling

I've been crying all damn day for no reason

[valid sun]

was there a ping in here?

[fervent grove]

Yeah accidentally replied to a really old message of yours lol, sorry for the jumpscare

[valid sun]

oh no problem lol i didnt read it

[fickle cypress]

clear coat does wonders

[misty harness]

the subtle dig of someone seeing my long nails and assuming that I play guitar

maybe I'm overthinking it but it feels bad

[spice sphinx]

I can’t imagine playing guitar with long nails

That’d be annoying

Unless you’re playing flamenco or something

People can’t even micro aggression right they always gotta say some stupid shit they pulled out of their ass that barely makes any sense

Speaking of microaggressions there was a lady at work today who said some shit about needing a “big strong man” to help her while looking at me and was surprised when I completely ignored her

[misty harness]

gross, sorry that happened. that's barely even a micro aggression, just straight up shitty

[stuck portal]

ewwwwww 😕

[unborn atlas]

ruh

[unborn atlas]

cis and trans are chemical terms, aren't they?

[grand hearth]

yeas

they refer to positioning of side groups of a molecule (i.e. side groups placed in a contralateral way are trans)

[unborn atlas]

do you think the terms we have are accurate?

[grand hearth]

if you want to get into the nitty gritty of etymology, "cis" and "trans" are latin terms by themselves that refer to positioning. "cis" is "on the same side of," and "trans" is "on the other side of."

therefore, "cisgender" could be taken to mean, "gender on the same side," the "side" being the sex someone is born with. "transgender" can be taken to mean "gender on the other side of sex", kind of

[unborn atlas]

makes sense

is

cisformation a thing? theoretically

[grand hearth]

i mean, it could be taken to mean, becoming more of something that the subject already was

[unborn atlas]

male to male cisition....

[frozen breach]

reminds me of when one of my newly out transfem friends asked for some advice on transitioning and i said "well i don't know much about transitioning to female" and she replied "how do you know i'm not transitioning from male to more male"

[grand hearth]

https://youtu.be/TyR5BLqtx8E?si=6MFiaMaNeC5D74qP

[hallow bronze]

alpha males if they were awesome

[spice sphinx]

Are there any other people in here who are on patches for hrt

Why do they suck butthole and do literally nothing

Peep the charts

The first one is my testosterone

The second one is my estrogen

Since being on patches my testosterone skyrocketed, literally double what it was before I even started hrt

I started on pills, they were fine, then I switched to injections which were better but expensive and made me horribly anxious

Now I’m on patches and it’s like anti hrt it is actively making things worse than they ever were

[grand hearth]

Idk how long you’ve been on patches but transdermal routes tend to be absorbed slower in general

You probably aren’t reaching the same concentration of estrogen as quickly as other forms of administration, but the end result might be the same over time

I would also check if the dosing is correct for MtF HRT. Post menopausal women also are given therapeutic estrogen via patches and other forms, but the dosing I believe is different

[spice sphinx]

They just upped my dose to 1mg patches twice a week

Previously I was on .05mg

Insane

Idk it’s such a pain in the ass, I can’t do pills, can’t do injections, if patches don’t work idk what other option I have

Especially in florida

[grand hearth]

it’s gonna take a while

for the concentration to build up enough

[paper totem]

that seems low

iirc isnt the usual dosage (for pills at least) 2-4mg?

[spice sphinx]

So what I effectively just restarted hrt?

I get to sit on my ass for another 2 years just to play catchup, and still get misgendered

[paper totem]

also idk if this is something that your doctor could prescribe but there is estrogen gel, and if it's not something that can be prescribed it's really stupidly easy to diy

[spice sphinx]

How much bitcoin do you think it’d cost to get that otokonoko weirdo to ship me an hrt implant, I’ll just shove it in there myself I can do it

I’m sorry I’m joking around to mask how incredibly frustrated this has made me

[grand hearth]

Ok, pretend the blue is injection or oral/sublingual, and the red is transdermal. The timing is arbitrary but the pattern is the same—you reach therapeutic range faster with a fast absorption administration like injection or sublingual. Transdermal can reach that concentration, but it takes longer.

I don’t think you restarted HRT but it could take a bit for your body to readjust

[spice sphinx]

Did you draw this just now

[grand hearth]

yea

[spice sphinx]

Ik you did it to help visualize it better but that also feels like a very sweet gesture that you went through the extra effort to provide an image

Thanks

[grand hearth]

of course!!! I’m better at explaining visually lol I wanted to make sure I was clear

[spice sphinx]

I most definitely am doom spiraling about it quite a bit, if I just got laser hair removal or something then I could manage any of the other adverse effects on my own

But god that whole thing about hair follicles just staying active no matter what is such a punch to the gut

[paper totem]

like "there is a 12 minute youtube tutorial video on how to make it" level stupidly easy https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BUmsU1FrWMk

[paper totem]

also check out https://www.reddit.com/r/estrogel/wiki/index/

good info there for everyone - transfem ppl, transmasc ppl, or anyone who wants to sort out their hormonal situation for any reason

[hallow bronze]

that's so cool.........

[paper totem]

it really is

[spice sphinx]

Because when I started hrt years ago I was lucky, a lot of my facial hair hadn’t “started yet” so I didn’t have to shave much, but now that my testosterone has skyrocketed I have to shave literally every single day. Even if I get back to how it used to be I’ll still likely have to constantly shave, because estrogen just makes the hair thinner it doesn’t make it go away. Just makes me feel like this fuck up is gonna cost me big time and I can’t really recover from it fully

[valid sun]

okay so patches are probably and unfortunately the least effective way to do HRT for trans people. theyre almost always in smaller dosages and are meant almost exclusively for women going through menopause or people who cant properly create estrogen/testosterone (in the case of my dad, he does both gel and patches. his patches and gel are compounded to about a 25th of the equivalent of how much gel would translate to an injection of 0.3 testosterone cypionate). that's a lot of words but his is about 2mg and the gel i have is 50mg daily. the patches are even lower than that. i knew one guy who did testosterone HRT through patches and had a similar very slow transition, but they were last resort because he couldnt do gel or shots. i second doing estrogel because at least it'll give you to relatively medium levels. and sorry that you have to be in this situation

[unborn atlas]

yeah I thought of that

[spice sphinx]

Is prescribed gel any different?

I would take up the idea of making it myself but it’s mega illegal and I don’t want to put my family at risk if I got caught for any reason

So in that case idk

Maybe injections are my best hope but god they make me feel awful

I have really severe hemophobia so anything to do with possibly having my blood outside of my own body on accident sends me into a panic

[grand hearth]

^^ this is correct

Patches are usually intended for cis people with some kind of hormone deficiency, but it takes a lot more of a concentration for actual transitional HRT

[grand hearth]

One thing my bud does is like, use insulin needles (very very small short needles) and kind of find a way to not see it actually go in, if that makes sense

Idk if that will help you if you want to do injection route, but maybe it would?

I helped him make a lil cardboard thing that physically blocks the needle part from view but idk if he uses it often

[valid sun]

prescribed gel works just fine, but like systems said, transdermal is absorbed slower. however the concentration in gel is definitely adequate afaik

it isn't really inferior to injections, just less consistent in a sense. but again, definitely an adequate route

fear of needles and/or blood is incredibly common and youre not alone in that, i get queasy during blood draws and used to after injections for the same reason. i get physical placeboes a lot regarding blood

[spice sphinx]

I don’t even mind the needles, getting shots never bothered me it’s just when I mess up and bleed a ton because I nick a blood vessel there’s like a 50% chance I feint

So the idea of messing up and that happening is just constantly in my head when I inject so it sucks

[spice sphinx]

I had to do intramuscular injections when I was on it though, so it was the real long needles

But like I said, it was never the length of the needle that got to me

And also the fact that sometimes it’d be hard to actually push the needle in and I was scared I was about to seriously hurt myself

Idk if it was just the tissue scarring over time or what

IM injections suck

[grand hearth]

I always do subcu lol I’m not brave enough to self administer IM

[spice sphinx]

Is subcu as effective?

[grand hearth]

afaik seems like it

adipose is a good area to absorb estrogen or testosterone in general, along with certain meds too

[spice sphinx]

That’s another thing I totally forgot

[grand hearth]

for me I’ve had significant changes within a year

Actually today might be my anniversary I have to look

[spice sphinx]

Because patches need a fatty area to get absorbed and I’m actual skin and bone

I put em on my hips where there’s a little bit but idk

[grand hearth]

I’d have to check but I would think lower belly and outer upper arms/legs could be areas with enough adipose for that

[valid sun]

yes

i do subq 0.4ml weekly in my stomach

[spice sphinx]

I might talk to my doctor about sub q then

Because I can handle that easily I feel

[valid sun]

i would never to intramuscular just cause it makes me too sore lol

subq is godsent for me

[frozen breach]

yeah i had that happen to me as well with subq shots, i avoid it by alternating which side of my stomach i do it on each week and also pick a slightly different spot each time so i'm not sticking the needle in the same little area over and over

[frozen breach]

yeah i'm pretty sure it is. the vials i use say "for intramuscular use only", but my np basically said to ignore that lol. it's been not quite two years for me on subq t injections and i'm harrier than most of my male relatives by now, so i'd say it's pretty effective based on personal experience lol

[frozen breach]

fwiw i've done almost a hundred subq injections in the past two years and i've had bleeding maybe seven times, and it was never more than a tiny drop. that's just my experience ofc but i think people tend to rarely bleed from subq injections, so those may be a good choice for you

[valid sun]

subq is just as effective as intramuscular because it's done more frequently (weekly) to match the concentration of intramuscular (usually bi-weekly). it's less dangerous than intramuscular because it has less of a chance of you damaging a blood vessel (it's under the skin and in the fat, so duh). you have to alternate your shot areas no matter what. my doctor showed me the quadrant rule, which you usually have 8 spots to alternate through clockwise on your stomach. i do 4 quadrants bc i can't keep up with 8. if you don't theres a chance of having scar tissue that lasts years and in worst case scenario permanently

iirc subq testosterone is more likely to be cypionate and intramuscular is more likely to be enanthate. but im not sure how true that is

[frozen breach]

i think cypionate is what's used most commonly in the states in general, but since enanthate sometimes comes in higher concentrations then i wouldn't be surprised if that's true

i think something similar is true with estradiol cypionate vs estradiol valerate as well since valerate has much higher concentration. but i could also very well be talking out my ass

[valid sun]

id assume thats true

enanthate is also used when people are allergic to the cypionate compounding

[frozen breach]

having really painful cramps when you're transmasc is such bullshit dude

like even getting a period at all is dysphoria-inducing enough, but nah let's make it really painful just to rub it in

i don't even get periods anymore unless i forget my shot, but i still get really bad cramps once a month

it's like wow cool thanks! extreme pain that also serves as a reminder that i have a uterus! awesome! 🙃

[strong heath]

does anybody know if getting a medical diagnosis for autism/depression/anxiety will mess with getting medically diagnosed gender dysphoria

[whole monolith]

it definitely can

honestly if youre not looking for aid like

an official autism diagnosis just makes everything harder

[valid sun]

ive been diagnosed as autistic by my psych with a 78/96 t-score on the SDS but they havent put it on my papers officially because it would mess with it legally

i only have doctors letters explaining i need x accommodation for x thing

got diagnosed with gender dysphoria in 2017, diagnosed as autistic in 2023, so their worry was moreso whether it would affect my ability to get HRT. so imo the idea of it affecting your ability to get diagnosed with gender dysphoria is pretty high

[strong heath]

okay thank you so much

[strong heath]

this def helps it would for sure be more of a “am i actually autistic or not” thing rather than “i need aid” type situation

[whole monolith]

we love medical discrimination

doctors assume so much when they see it on your chart

none of it good

like if you know what histrionic meant as a diagnosis thats basically the same kind of treatment you get

[strong heath]

yes okay i see now

thank you i hadn’t considered that

[valid sun]

def just ask for accommodation letters

hasnt backfired on me 👍 and work/school doesnt ask for proof of diagnosis as long as u have the letter

[strong heath]

yes yes okay thank you

will keep this in mind tysm you two

[opal dock]

reading stone butch blues now

[austere vale]

i read that last year for class

[carmine cobalt]

i read that last year for pride month! went in not knowing how trans it is but it was very illuminating. anyone have any other leslie feinberg recs to follow it up?

[unborn atlas]

what is she/they or he/they energy anyway?

what does that tangibly mean?

is it possible to have they traits without using the pronoun?

[grand hearth]

Things that suggest androgyny? Or detachment from gender as a concept? Kinda reductive if that’s the case I guess

[unborn atlas]

absolutely, but I wanted to stoke conversation

because as reductive as it is, people still use it in these ways

[grand hearth]

yea I don’t know what it means myself, I was more or less guessing 🤔 but like for me if I were to encapsulate “they/them energy” I think of a lot of non human things like monsters or robots with no immediately discernable dimorphism is what “they/them energy” is to me

But some of this feels like what being agender is like and sometimes I think that sort of relationship to gender fits me better

[unborn atlas]

https://fixupx.com/rob_heighton/status/1835082026300428390

this post is what got me thinking about it

[grand hearth]

Chuck E. Cheese has he/it energy

[unborn atlas]

yeah but how

is my conundrum I guess

[grand hearth]

lol I was fuckin around but I feel like a lot of the “she/they” energy stuff is like, “this character is designed to be a girl or boy but has a Secret Factor that makes them not quite binary in appearance”

and of course I don’t think appearance determines someone’s pronouns but vague hand waving

[unborn atlas]

I mean people say that but 👀

what else could it be based on if people are looking at designs and coming to conclusions

[grand hearth]

lol yeah

[unborn atlas]

maybe we don't want it to but what else is there

[grand hearth]

The human brain yearns for boxes

[unborn atlas]

I don't wanna be human anymore

is transhumanism even possible?

like what's the cutoff point

do you stop being human if you become cool enough?

[grand hearth]

To me transhumanism is like, “becoming something other than human/surpassing humanity in some way,” usually through modifications of the human body

Like, brain implants that can communicate with machines to complete tasks are transhumanist to me.

I think what distinguishes transhumanist modifications from prosthetics is intention. Implements intended to restore lost function back to the “baseline” of human functionality are not transhumanist as much as something that enables an individual to become apart from humanity in some way which could include being “superhuman”

[misty harness]

vibes based categorization

and I dunno, I hope I get to see cybernetics become a real thing that is available to people and I would almost definitely go for it if I had some sort of health condition where it would make sense to

I don't necessarily want to stop being human, I want to expand what the definition of human is

[hallow bronze]

I'm gonna be controversial and say that humanity is inherently transhuman, since one of our defining characteristics is the expansion of our possibilities through the use of technology. Grug the caveman with a big rock was the first transhuman

I guess this train of thought leads to transcorvidism/transaligatorism, so be it (hell yeah)

[grand hearth]

as an aside, it’s not gonna be that way lol

Cybernetics, despite being an amazing technological advancement, is going to inevitably make life harder for people who are already disabled, as it is spearheaded by an industry that in and of itself does not actually care about the people who need it to live

[misty harness]

I know just let me dream 😭

instead we get Elon musk trying to make cybernetic super monkeys so that he can eventually be the first cyborg and live forever

unless something dramatically changes, you'll get disabled people do the risky test runs and then the fully developed product will be for millionaires only

[hallow bronze]

or the military

[grand hearth]

I hope it gets regulations soon because this seems to be like. New ground

Like is this even being conducted as “medical research” or is it just tech bro R&D….

[misty harness]

yeah who knows

[spice sphinx]

Many such cases

I can’t be sayin shit like he/they energy no more I have like a job and stuff

[last pilot]

anyone has any tips how to come out while starting uni? I can’t find any documentation if the uni im going to is lgbtq friendly. and im just overall scared of how people will see me. I struggle a lot with correcting people

[valid sun]

email professors in advance telling them what name you want to be called, say the name on the list is a "clerical" error and that you're embarrassed by it, if you're worried about people's reactions i would dress neutrally (or maybe in your case masculinely) for the first couple of days and then test the waters a little bit

if you're not on HRT (idk if you are or not), and are concerned your voice will out you, there's a couple of voice training vids out there but my suggestion is to speak "from your chest" and swallow your voice slightly without forcing it. if that's not as much a concern to you, that's all i can really think of

i also don't know if your deadname is the same as your chosen name so

[clever badge]

6 hours until estrogen is REAL

weeeeee

[last pilot]

came back from the psychiatric clinic. he said I can get on T

[hallow bronze]

LET'S GOOOOO

[paper totem]

been thinking some thoughts in regards to presentation n passing and such as someone whose goal is thoroughly not binary and its just frustrating really

as it stands right now basically everything i wear is like slightly masc of center (just basically pants and hoodies that are really oversized) and on one hand this is ultimately very physically comfortable to wear but it does kind of put me in a weird spot

because on one hand i do feel comfortable wearing the stuff i do but on the other hand i feel like it has kind of fucked things up for me

everyone views me now as someone who wants to be treated more like a guy than not and its just eeuguhghghhhhhhh because . no?

speaking in vague terms because i have this weird thing against talking about my agab (cant really explain it idk why im like this) but i dunno. its just so weird that to be viewed in a more correct way i have to compromise my own comfort this much. i feel like i have looped back around in a sense to where i was right when i realized i was genderqueer and im basically just throwing shit at the wall to see what sticks and what gets people to treat me well

i feel like im also kind of trapped in other ppl's perception of me because like. i am also just as evasive about past stuff irl as i am online and unfortunately i really do not want to raise too many questions? most people just ignore me and the people that i do talk to have basically made asumptions about those details in ways that ive never cared to verify

so it sort of feels like putting a light target on my back if i actually change things because right now im boring and that is safe

but at the same time i am desperately wanting something more from myself in some intangible way that i am still trying to figure out

maybe i do need to push myself out of my comfort zone to actually feel something. idk

it feels like i am constantly trying to figure myself out even nowadays

oh well. cost of having a body i guess

[strong heath]

this feeling sucks i have nothing to contribute other than i can relate

in other somewhat different news i am seeing i saw the tv glow soon 🥹

[frozen breach]

it will irreversably change you

it's been five days since i watched it and i haven't stopped thinking about it for even one single second

[paper totem]

can vouch

it is a movie that's damn near engineered to rip you apart and force you to reckon with what it has to say

[carmine cobalt]

i absolutely relate to this, i want to present gender queerly and be expressive and for it not be attention grabbing. sometimes it feels hard to not even have A Gender Presentation Goal to reach to and accomplish, there's no passing to be had. but i think that's one of the joys of gender queerness as well, there are no rules/goalposts and you are free to change how you present at any point

also hoping to watch i saw the tv glow soon :p

[frozen breach]

not much to add to everything you've said (i'm very binary in my identity and presentation, so while i absolutely sympathize with the struggles of folks who don't fit within that binary, i don't feel very qualified to speak on that dynamic), but i just wanna say that it makes total sense as a trans person to not want to talk about ur agab, especially if ur genderqueer/nonbinary

a lot of people can't wrap their heads around the idea of a person who doesn't identify with either of the binary genders, and so they kinda use agab/birth sex as a new way of putting people in binaristic categories, and it's shitty and dysphoria-inducing for most of the nonbinary people i know. all of this is to say that not wanting to specify ur agab as a genderqueer person is not weird at all and u don't owe anyone an explanation for it (i'm sure u know this but maybe it's helpful to be reminded idk)

[paper totem]

i do have certain goalposts for myself though which complicates things

if i am in a scenario and i am almost exclusively being called he/him or she/her i feel like thats kind of. the equivalent of not passing to me. if the way im presenting is making people see me one specific way it feels very wrong

[paper totem]

yeah, that's definitely the main driving force behind it. people are fucking weird and i think the fact that i do that is (very fucking unfortunately) the big reason why people dont really try to sort me into being a gender nonconforming binary person. its something that i do sadly see happen to other nb people i know and i really am not a strong enough person to go thru it :/

i think probably the most frustrating part is that it feels like it kind of cuts me off from really engaging with and making friends with people going thru similar stuff as i am though because it always feels like. on one hand i want to talk to and be friends with people with common experiences but on the other hand if i fly too close to the sun in that regard i basically undo all of the work i go thru keeping info of my past n such locked down

it doesn't feel very healthy if im honest. i genuinely do not talk to anyone about any of what i go thru in anything but very vague terms but on the other hand i feel like the alternative is kind of like pandoras box

eh. on one hand i feel like i put way too much effort into keeping all this up when it really hasnt benefitted me in any meaningful way but on the other hand? i have no idea how much worse it could be. because theres always that option

i can conceptualize a few ways it could make things worse for me

[valid sun]

why is keeping up with HRT becoming a chore again

it's like a sine wave in terms of how motivated i am to do it but im finally getting some hairs on my jawline after growing this beard for 2 years so maybe i should be more consistent

[frozen breach]

this is so real

i've realized recently that i think part of the reason i have such a hard time remembering my hrt is that i get dysphoric about the fact that i need hrt, if that makes sense

once the novelty and excitement of having it started wearing off, i got to thinking a bit more about how i'll never be able to naturally produce cis male levels of testosterone, and then doing my shot kind of became a reminder of that i guess

[frozen breach]

congrats on the facial hair development btw!!

[valid sun]

Thank you

[valid sun]

i can understand cause i used to feel that way

i dont really anymore but it might be cause i have immediate cis male family who use HRT so i cant see not being able to produce testosterone at male levels as inherently not male

we need nexplanon but for testosterone

[frozen breach]

oh that's a good point yeah

i think there's a part of me that wants to get into a whole thing about "well but cis men who take hrt used to be able to produce high levels of testosterone and i've never been able to and never will be able to and and and" and then there's another part of me that's like "dude just shut up and take your fucking guy juice"

dysphoria sucks for a million reasons but for me a big one is how unproductive it is

[frozen breach]

this is so real actually

[grand hearth]

Nooo for reall

The day I take it during tbe week keeps shifting because I’m so tired lol

[frozen breach]

my first ever shot was on a saturday, and now after not quite two years i've made it all the way back around to friday lol

[grand hearth]

Lollllllll yes

speaking of

I need to do mine today

[frozen breach]

oh shit me too

i typed that whole message about how my shot day is on fridays now and just didn't put together the fact that today is friday lmaooo

[carmine cobalt]

i have found it helpful to talk about certain things like specific dysphoria and experiences and whatnot with my therapist, if that's an option for you to consider. it's helpful for me to talk about it with someone, but i also wouldn't want to talk to friends/others about it. but again definitely agree that it's fucking weird for people (esp other gnc people) to want to build community or make assumptions about people's experiences based on perceived agab

[clever badge]

8 days on E and ive come to a pretty big realization

for the past 3 years i think ive been just? actually depressed? and convinced myself I wasnt

and then I start E and suddenly all of my worst thoughts about myself and life are gone

and im thinking back and holy shit i probably was definitionally depressed but didnt want to admit it

[frozen breach]

this is incredibly real

when i started hrt, before i even noticed any physical changes, i just noticed that i felt better and more at peace with myself

idk the like psychological reason why this happens, but yeah i think the first thing a lot of people notice from hrt is that they just feel less depressed

[strong heath]

i’ve heard a lot about this (phenomenon? is that right??)

highly anticipating it when i get on hrt in fact it’s a big thing keeping me going

[frozen breach]

yeah i really wish i knew what caused it

just cuz it would be interesting i guess to know the science of it

i have kind of a theory that it's maybe because as trans people our bodies are designed to function best with the dominant sex hormone being the opposite of the one that came "pre-installed" (so testosterone for trans guys and estrogen for trans girls), so once we have more of that hormone in our bodies it kind of alleviates an underlying physiological distress even before second puberty begins. but that's also a sort of transmedicalist and binary-centric view of things because not every trans person wants or needs hrt, and not wanting hrt doesn't make someone less trans, so i don't put a lot of stock into it.

no matter why it happens though it's really fucking cool. i'm not exactly complaining about being less depressed

[strong heath]

yyyyyyyep

[grand hearth]

Can confirm

[grand hearth]

I have a few thoughts but I think one possibility is that you consciously know you’re physically, actually taking action to change your body to match your gender identity and you get comfort from knowing that

[austere vale]

today marks being on E for 2 years for me

[frozen breach]

congrats!!!

oh yeah that reminds me, today marks 2 years on hrt for me as well (T not E but whatever)

[austere vale]

LETSSS GOOOO

[valid sun]

Awesome

[grand hearth]

Happy T day to meeeee

It’s been about a year

[karmic pier]

https://youtu.be/GyvQ901Qcuk?si=D5ccS3qy7aSsyPAR banger

[valid sun]

how did we all start HRT at the same.time

[unborn atlas]

speak for yourself, I started in 2018

[opal dock]

yaay

[frozen breach]

based st4t graffiti i saw above a mailbox in olympia

[grand hearth]

New insurance is making me pay out of pocket for T I’m going to scream

[opal dock]

noooo omg insurance is the worst :(((

[frozen breach]

kill them i think (tone tag not genuine advice)

[opal dock]

i remember changing dosages and my insurance proceeded to stop covering my meds 😭

[grand hearth]

Everything else is in the single digits so I guess it’s “affordable””””” now that I can afford other meds

But this shit sucks!

[valid sun]

are you able to use goodrx?

i know i use goodrx at CVS because they dont have a contract with my insurance and it's actually cheaper than what they would cover

like $15/2 vials

[grand hearth]

I’m actually looking into that

I have a coupon for 6 1 mL vials for less than $40

So I’m trying to transfer at least T to CVS instead of Walmart

[valid sun]

thats a good price

[next mason]

HELLO TRANS NATION!!

🏳️‍⚧️ 🏳️‍⚧️ 🏳️‍⚧️ 🏳️‍⚧️ 🏳️‍⚧️

[molten kite]

I will say I'm glad I knew what the movie was about before I watched it and I'm glad that I'm out around my friends

Otherwise it would have been worse

I watched it on Friday night and that was the first time I've cried after watching a movie in years

[valid sun]

Hi guys it's my 5 year HRT anniversary

[paper totem]

hell yeah!! congrats

[valid sun]

thank yew nlo

[real meadow]

sister sent this to me its at her school bathroom

[hallow bronze]

hell yeah

[frozen breach]

actually so true

i will never shut up about t4t it's my favorite ever

[chrome snow]

WWWWWWWWWW

[grand hearth]

I’m in a T4T relationship with my girlfriend and it has been everything I needed

[hallow bronze]

T4t with my bf and I couldn't imagine anything else

[opal dock]

t4t is so cool….

[frozen breach]

need this so bad

[valid sun]

Medical bills are soooooooooooooo bullshit

i didnt realize my labs get sent to my deductible now i owe $220 theyre not getting that shit from me for as long as i can hold it off (a month at most)

[clever badge]

feeling like i kinda gotta be t4t

even the most empathetic and understanding cis partner isnt the same as any other trans partner because of the lived experience of being trans....

tbh i might also ? only want to date other furries ? its weird

[paper totem]

yeah this is p much what ive figured as well. the mutual respect and support and understanding of t4t seems so nice that i really feel strange thinking about dating cis ppl

[frozen breach]

i agree so much with this. there's just something special about t4t to me

for me it's also kinda like. idk, passing in day-to-day life is definitely a goal of mine, but when my clothes come off i'm always gonna be visibly trans, and my body is always gonna look different from a cis woman's body and from a cis man's body. and i guess being with another trans person is the only scenario i can envision where i'm not constantly afraid that my partner is into me despite my body rather than because of it

idk if this makes sense really but yeah

[hallow bronze]

it makes sense, and I will also add, that in t4t there is never that fear of not being seen as you truly are, despite how you look

[tropic zenith]

hey is there anyone here rn

i think the egg is cracking

[paper totem]

hello i am here sorta

[tropic zenith]

ok

can i yap rq

[paper totem]

absolutely

[tropic zenith]

i have always referred to myself as male. recently not so sure. i had decided i was genderfluid because the idea of changing my pronouns and name and everything just seemed like a lot, but with each day i keep seeing more signs that i might be transfem. i always play female characters in games, i want to wear feminine clothes, it makes me happy when people call me “girl” in conversation (sarcastically but still), i make female ocs, i imagine myself as a girl in my head, i want to be reincarnated as a girl, and more shit but i have yapped enough

genuienly am i trans like wtfff

[grand hearth]

yeah

[paper totem]

i know its kind of cliche to say but really nobody can say for sure besides you

[tropic zenith]

i also keep thinking about how if im gonna start hrt soon if im gonna, hate body hair etc

[grand hearth]

If you want to be a girl then go for it

But you gotta decide for yourself

[tropic zenith]

holy shit

i mean even my pfp vro😭😭

like my last 5 pfps have all been female characters

my heart is beating rlly fast and im getting that weight off my shoulders feeling what does this meannn

[paper totem]

ill put it this way because its a really interesting way of thinking about it. think about the anxieties you have and how hrt would affect you

[tropic zenith]

my thought process was “hell yeah!!!!!! but wait”

[paper totem]

now consider: imagine the average cis guy. would he want any of the changes it would bring?

[tropic zenith]

is it a sign that i have already thought about that

[paper totem]

oh goodness

[grand hearth]

Lol

[paper totem]

i think you know the answer

honestly

[tropic zenith]

…..

damn

also i main Bridget and make experimental music if that helps

[paper totem]

lol

[tropic zenith]

lol

[tropic zenith]

uhm…… y-

yes

WHOOOO

HOOLY SHIT

[paper totem]

hell yeah!!

[tropic zenith]

hell yeah!!???

wowzers

something just happened in my brain just now

[hallow bronze]

peace and love on planet trans, congrats!

[paper totem]

again i cant claim to know your situation exactly but yeah thats how it was for me too. just a sudden feeling of correctness

[tropic zenith]

it’s like my brain is still doubting but i feel like i can breathe

i think all that was stopping me was relationships and the fear of change

[paper totem]

change is going to happen no matter what

[tropic zenith]

to answer my own question of would i be a girl? yeah. just instinctual response lmao

[tropic zenith]

fr

[paper totem]

but you can change your course and thats whats wonderful about it all

[tropic zenith]

that’s actually so cool

[paper totem]

if the thought of the current path feels wrong in the ways you're describing, i think you have every right to take one that feels right. everyone here probably knows what it's like

and we're all here for you as well

[tropic zenith]

thank u homie

GOD DUDE WHY ARE MG FANS SO NICE😭😭

[pure finch]

this exactly happened to me

we got to see it live

that’s awesome

[paper totem]

it is crazy to watch it happen in realtime

i remember how it felt

[tropic zenith]

egg cracking live 1080p 60fps

[radiant obsidian]

congrats!!!!!!!

aaggg

[tropic zenith]

ty!!!!!<33

[radiant obsidian]

<33

[paper totem]

<3!!

[tropic zenith]

the amount of times i have seen a cool female character and been like “im literally her/shes literally me”😭😭

[paper totem]

yepppppp

[pure finch]

yea.

[next mason]

we've all been there 🫶 wishing you the best of luck

[tropic zenith]

tysm u guys are so supportive😭❤️

[next mason]

i mean we're mg fans 75% of us are trans 💀

if not more

[tropic zenith]

lmao just realized the only cis mg fan i know is my friend who introduced to them

in person atleast

[clever badge]

cabbage can i say that i thought you were transfem in the first place. i dont think i ever actually checked your pronouns lmao

trans/generally woman

tee ee giggle

[last pilot]

didn’t really wanted to talk about this, but it caused me so much anxiety these past few days.
I was outed as a trans to the whole class. the way the professor said it made it sound like it was a mental disability.
I was trying my best to hide it, just act casual and always introduce myself with my preferred name. but this is all gone now. it destroyed me mentally.

[paper totem]

what the fuck????????????

jesus christ thats awful

[last pilot]

I have kind of lost all hope in making any new friends at this point. too scared to be bullied

[paper totem]

ok forgive me if this is a stupid question but is it just the one professor who's a dickhead or is the rest of the staff similarly bad? because if it's just him you need to get this shit in writing and tell someone

[last pilot]

just this one, others are pretty chill about it and don’t really care.

if this cause any sort of conflict between me and the others, I will contact someone on the higher position

[paper totem]

either way that's insanely violating and 100% out of line

are you in the us?

[hallow bronze]

that's so fucked up, jesus christ

[last pilot]

nah czechia unfortunately. being trans here is huge taboo

[paper totem]

shittt

[last pilot]

planning on contacting the uni psychologist just to discuss this.

[paper totem]

wishing you luck friend

i dont know your comfort level abt this but i think it would be a good idea to also escalate this to the upper staff

schools have a tendency to sweep stuff like this under the rug

[hallow bronze]

yeah, sending hugs and much love, brother🫂 you're stronger than all these bastards

[last pilot]

thank you guys

[next mason]

holy fuck that's harsh

i HATE how teachers and schools in general can be so insensitive about trans students, sending you all my support man 🫂

[tropic zenith]

HOLY SHIT LMAO

[tropic zenith]

dude what a fucking asshole im sorry that happened

sending good luck💖💖💖

[pure finch]

me too

[tropic zenith]

DUDE ARE YOU SERIOUSSSS😭😭😭😭

lmao i give off the aura

[pulsar mortar]

finally feeling comfortable telling my friends my preferred name and stuff!!!!

like I was giving my number to a friend and i was conflicted on what to put as my name and she was like “put anything!” and I was like I don’t go by my deadname so i put in ethen and the way she immediately started calling me ethen makes me remember there’s still hope in this world

[last pilot]

one of my classmates contacted me last night about the whole outing situation. they send me direct contact for the uni advisory group and promised that if any bullying/harassment takes place, they will be by my side. im so unbelievably grateful

[valid sun]

thats really sweet of them im so glad

[grand current]

after nearly half a decade of being unsure, i think i've finally found a name that i would enjoy and would probably fit me well: rosalie, shortened to rose. it is very beautiful and is unique without being too "out there" (i love people with unconventional names, but i just don't really see myself using one). it also fits my last name and keeps my initials because i like them. roses are really cool flowers too

i've been considering something along the lines of rose for a few months and this is probably the most plausible, but given the situation i'm in regarding transphobic family and living in a generally transphobic area, it will have to wait a little before getting much use

but finally finding it has definitely given me some needed closure with dysphoria and distaste for my deadname, so it doesn't all end negative!

[next mason]

happy for you!! 🫶 hi rosalie!

[last pilot]

you share the same name as our bunny!! so happy for you <3

[tropic zenith]

woah that’s a cool name actually hi rosalie

[stuck portal]

wsg rose

[next mason]

so i'm gonna change my legal name soon and i think i'm gonna use "noah" and "matthieu" (matthew in french) as second names!!

not sure though, do u guys think it sounds ok with "maxime" as a first name?

[tropic zenith]

i think so

up 2 u tho

[hallow bronze]

Maxime Noah Matthieu? Goes hard

[next mason]

thank you hehe 😎 !!

maxime noah matthieu it is 😈

[hallow bronze]

I like that the initials are like the candy

My initials remain SSS, but when people use my nickname they are ASS, and I did that on purpose

[next mason]

MNM... Oh god..

[next mason]

LMAOOO

that's genius

[worldly lance]

i'm scheduled to get a hysterectomy in january and im super excited lol two of my other friends are getting theirs done around the same time so we're the 3 musketeers

[valid sun]

Brooo good luck

i need mine too expeditiously

[worldly lance]

best of luck to you as well!! expeditiously 🙏🏾

[frozen breach]

good luck on the hysto!! i really need one as well but i'm barely two months post-op from top surgery so it's not happening for a while lmao

[tropic zenith]

is it possible to go by 2 names but one more so than the other

cause my name now is genderless and i like it but i have another name idea that i like 2

[hallow bronze]

yeah, tons of people have more than one name

[frozen breach]

i mean i kinda have that also, since my legal name is oliver and i don't mind being called it but i almost always go by ollie as a nickname for it. i think the sane thing could absolutely work with names that aren't related in that way though

it's your name so you can do whatever you want forever imo

[tropic zenith]

hell yeah

so im not gonna leak my legal name (i still go by it w ppl i know irl) but i like the name dierdre too

it means she who chatters

i yap like so fucking much too lmao

[worldly lance]

yeah i agree, my legal name is rashae and i usually use it only for work now but i encourage most ppl to call me shae now it's my childhood nickname and i like how it fits overall better even tho i like the meaning of my legal name still

[paper totem]

is anyone else kind of apathetic towards their chosen name

like ive been thinking on it and honestly i dont love it but it works well enough

it serves the purpose of being something that you can call me. it just doesnt feel super nice in the way that it seems like it should be

is this just me or does anyone else feel similar

[balmy pond]

Finding a name can def be a process. It's gotta just... feel like you're name? So there's no hard and fast rules to follow

As with any part of transition, take your time, let it come naturally. You'll find it when you're least expecting it

I got mine cuz I heard it in a video game just kinda knew that's what I'd wanna be called if I was a girl yknow. Nothing deep, not much symbolism or meaning behind it, it kinda just felt like my name

[paper totem]

i mean i am . in the process of getting it legally changed because my deadname feels completely wrong and alien which is kind of what makes it feel stranger to me

[misty harness]

I feel somewhat similar, my chosen name was by process of elimination rather than "that's the one!", after thinking on it for three+ years Sarah was the only name that stuck at all, so I went with it. But I don't have any particular reason why, it just felt alright

[paper totem]

i went with the name max because everything said that it was gender neutral + its a name that has been in my family which is the only reason they are ok with it

but i dunno

in practice it feels more masc than neutral because everyone ive ever met who goes by that is a guy and i feel weird that its basically being imposed on me by my family

it feels like a sunk cost fallacy in a way and im just not sure how normal this is

[grand hearth]

I’m just “Sam”

It’s the short form of my legal name, but I consider it my “real” name now

I’ve always been Sam

[tropic zenith]

no i totally get it, my current name is gender neutral so idk if i’ll even end up changing it

[valid sun]

i cant relate but i think the "uncertainty" so to speak is more common than you think

sometimes u just need something thats "good enough" 🤷‍♂️

[tropic zenith]

fr names are hard

[signal cairn]

i’ve always stuck with my birth name .. and it’s weird because i’ve always felt like doing that makes me. Less trans.

WHICH IS

LIKE A CRAZY THOUGHT I RECOGNIZE

idk.

[tropic zenith]

it doesn’t, dw. your name and identity are 2 very different things and if people wanna bitch about that then who fucking cares do your own thing

[signal cairn]

i agree .. sometimes in my mind it’s just. another thing to invalidate myself over

[tropic zenith]

i deal with the same shit with my anxiety/ocd

my brain constantly comes up with bullshit to freak me out until i do something to convince myself im full of shit

and i can move on

the best way to stop worrying abt that is to just accept the fear and agree with it

that’s what helps me

[signal cairn]

yeah :-D i do
sometimes it’s just harder to do unfortunately

millions must rise above

[next mason]

honestly real

i actually chose maxime cause it's some kind of masculinized version of my deadname but yeah i'm not THAT big of a fan

choosing a name is hard

[next mason]

OK SHIT NOW'S THE DILEMMA

UM

okay so

i'm gonna go to the paris concert

except

i might change my name legally until then

wtf do i do

what name do i put on the ticket??

nvm figured it out

[bronze ocean]

initial gambit always works

[next mason]

Initial gambit?

[bronze ocean]

oh like just use the initial of your name

[tight hatch]

man I'm realizing how kinda complicated my naming situation is hgfdyhfnj
20/21 was when I was questioning my gender and, ngl I think looking back on it now, I impulsively chose a name because I also felt like I was "less trans" if I didn't
and it's literally only til relatively recently that I'm like
I'm genuinely happy with my legal name, mainly because in my case my legal name is literally my Native name (Lakota tribe)
I won't get into it bc, I kinda wanna keep my legal name to ppl I know well (I think it's supposed to be like that from what my aunt said???)

but
basically what I'm trying to say, sorry for word wall DHMFNJDB
whatever name you end up choosing, that's who you are because that's what YOU chose for YOU
don't let anyone else invalidate what you chose, as they're not You

[next mason]

Ooooh clever

I sent a mail to the ticket website to know how I should handle the situation anyways

[next mason]

Real!!

[next mason]

Thank you!! 😄 I still have to sort out the situation about the fact that the Paris concert is classified as +18 and I'll still be 17 and 7 months with all my 18 friends....

[molten kite]

I sort of had a limited set of options since I wanted to keep my initials and have it be fairly similar to my deadname

so yeah I kinda get it

[misty harness]

lyrics on the new uboa record are too real

[grand hearth]

Part of the reason I haven’t played the new album is because I don’t know if I’m ready lol and this confirms that

tag urself I’m (non-lexical vocables)

[misty harness]

I'm light at the end of infinity

[grand hearth]

Ok I said that but now I’m listening in complete dark in my room lol

[misty harness]

good luck and godspeed

[frozen breach]

i fucking loved it but i've only listened to it once so far because it fucking gutted me

i recommend basically every trans person i meet who likes weird music (and also just most trans ppl i meet in general lol) to listen to the origin because it's just such a powerful album

i'm def gonna start recommending impossible light alongside it now

one of my school friends told me during the first week of the semester that she had listened to the origin over the summer and fucking loved it, and i was like "excellent! now here's your next assignment" lmao

[grand hearth]

I love that album

[tropic zenith]

just woke up from a dream about being born a girl and i just want to fucking scream

[hallow bronze]

Yoooo can i DIY T blockers by being submissive and breedable with a bad posture??? /j

[honest lake]

i wish i could out twink my testosterone

Discovered a good thing about my recent sewing project: I can try out hotpants!! :DD

[tropic zenith]

ok so i wrote lyrics for a song on my new album called in the flesh. its about being trans and basically just saying fuck you to the conservative millionaires and politicians that shit talk us. enjoy!!!!!

IN THE FLESH

ahem ahem, this is my, elon musk diss track.

(Verse 1)
Crawl out of my skin
I got another heart in my pocket
It’s not what I thought
But I’m a proud abomination

Reject what I have
I don’t care if I’m fucking lucky
It’s not what I want
I demand change for the better

IN THE FLESH, IN THE FLESH!

(Verse 2)
Fuck all of your noise
I don’t care what you people say
I do what I want
And it’s better off that way

Reborn to my needs
I accept what I’ve become
I wish that it began this way
But fate said to fuck my preference

IN THE FLESH, IN THE FLESH!

(Chorus)
I’m fucked up in your eyes
But I couldn’t care less
All that money covers up your lies
Why do you care if I wanna wear a dress

In the flesh, in the flesh

In the flesh, in the flesh

In the flesh, in the flesh

(Verse 3)
But what if I’m wrong
What if everything’s just a lie
To hell with this fucking shit
I know what I’ve always been

My systems are fixed
Turns out that’s all it takes
A moment of clarity
A moment of realization

IN THE FLESH, IN THE FLESH!

(Verse 4)
I look in the mirror
And different eyes stare back at me
I know that it’ll all work out
But patience never was my favorite

I shed the first coil
And another one forms inside me
Something that I can’t deny
The human evolution

IN THE FLESH, IN THE FLESH!

(Chorus)
I’m fucked up in your eyes
But I couldn’t care less
All that money covers up your eyes
Why do you care if I wanna wear a dress

In the flesh, in the flesh

In the flesh, in the flesh

In the flesh, in the flesh

I can finally see

(Outro)
Who are you to say?
Who are you to question,
Who are you to tell me that I’m a fucking waste?
Who are you to say?
Who are you to question,
Who are you to tell me that I’m a fucking waste?
Who are you to say?
Who are you to question,
Who are you to tell me that I’m a fucking waste?
Who are you to say?
Who are you to question,
Who are you to tell me that I’m a fucking waste?

[next mason]

BASED OMG

Release the song plz...

[tropic zenith]

I NEED TO FINISH IT HOMIE😭😭💖💖💖

[next mason]

PLZ DO IT FAST CAUSE THE LYRICS ARE BANGERS!!

[tropic zenith]

TYY‼️‼️💖

[tropic zenith]

ok so i just watched clips of the square garden rally and i just wanna say fuck america rn. i wanna live in a country where i have freedom of speech, where i can express myself freely without fear of oppression and hate crime, where i can be open about my political views, where i can start hrt LEGALLY and safely, and where i don’t have to hide from the people who are supposed to protect our country. fuck this fucking place. america is a joke.

if trump wins im fucking leaving this place

[clever badge]

Registering to vote and likely voting today in a swing state to try and make sure that never happens

Its so strange how hes rallying in a state that hes confirmed to lose in though… almost like hes fighting a losing battle….

[tropic zenith]

im just fucking scared…..

i wanna be able to get hrt while im still able to see the best results

guess im moving to Canada lmao

like im 17 rn so i have plenty of time but still…….

i don’t want it to get banned

[balmy pond]

I'm sorry Tibi, but how exactly are we supposed to not get consumed by this?

[golden plover]

Wait, I knew about your rights being oppressed, but you're not even allowed to say whatever you want?

[tropic zenith]

yeah, there’s a lot of shit going around saying that trumps gonna destroy the constitution and revoke freedom of speech. basically you have to pretend you’re not left leaning at all or they might send you to a camp. same with lgbtq+ people as well or really anyone they don’t like.

i highly doubt he’ll get away with all of this shit but the thought is terrifying

[golden plover]

The bitch got away with trying to storm the white house

[tropic zenith]

republican members of congress have already banned hrt for people who haven’t started it yet in like 2 states

[golden plover]

I don't believe in violence... but I'm not gonna "notice" if some people got a bit hurt.

.

They actively hurt others, it's hard to feel sympathetic for them

[tropic zenith]

i do believe we are in agreement

fuck these fucking people

[signal cairn]

i want to get my hrt from planned parenthood .
i was going to start before i went back to college but. a lot of factors. and i didn’t and now im kicking myself because i don’t want it to be too late

[clever badge]

It is never too late

[bronze ocean]

[signal cairn]

true !! im just scared because . planned parenthood .. scared of that getting affected;_;

[paper totem]

stockpiling is an option is it not

i have a friend who is on t and he was able to stockpile for a year because it got banned for under 18s

[frozen breach]

that depends on where u get it from iirc

my pharmacy refuses to give me more than three 1mL vials at a time (so 12 weeks worth at most)

but then again my pharmacy fucking sucks and they make me do a whole fucking song and dance every single time i go to pick up my meds, so it's probably different elsewhere

[tropic zenith]

how expensive is hrt btw

like a yearly rough estimate

[balmy pond]

Depends

For me without insurance my prescription cost like 50 bucks for a 3 month supply, so like 200 for a year

[signal cairn]

i see i see

i think i may try to get started during my christmas break .. Perhaps

[tropic zenith]

oh that’s way less than I thought lol

[grand hearth]

Also don’t forget GoodRX can help bring that price down

Got4 vials for 30 last time

[tropic zenith]

im gonna start at some point but im not pressuring myself too hard as im only 17 and as long as you start b4 like 22 you can see insane results as puberty technically hasn’t ended

[grand hearth]

I started at 22 and still got big results. It’s not as late as you’d expect

[tropic zenith]

oh shit fr????

[grand hearth]

Ye

[tropic zenith]

i got plenty of time then😭💖

[balmy pond]

Yea like i started at 24 and I've been super happy with mine

[tropic zenith]

ty systems for making my day better

[tropic zenith]

and ballislifemccartney

[grand hearth]

I got such a deep voice and so much hair now lmfaooo

And it’s only been 1 year!

[balmy pond]

Yea like it's not perfect, there's some stuff I feel like I missed out on but shit I don't have to get a BA so I'd say pretty successful

[misty harness]

started at 27 and changes were pretty substantial

[tropic zenith]

yeah my main worry was how much estrogen can effect

hopefully a lot

[misty harness]

fat redistribution, breast growth, and skin changes are very real no matter what age you start

[tropic zenith]

OH THABK GOD

[misty harness]

the only thing you miss out on is skeletal growth changes if you were to start during puberty I think which can be a big deal but honestly not always tbh

[grand hearth]

the human body is more malleable than you think

[tropic zenith]

hell yeah

[tropic zenith]

im 17 rn so i should be able to achieve that too

even if i start in a couple years still plausible

[misty harness]

yeah you have absolutely nothing to worry about

[tropic zenith]

u guys are helping me sm rn

[valid sun]

only for estrogen really

it's much harder for testosterone because it's a controlled substance

it's likely he was able to get the testosterone because of a grandfather clause during the ban

thats how i had mine

for testosterone it's mostly just DIY

[paper totem]

there wasnt a grandfather clause so im not sure how exactly that worked for him

[valid sun]

🤷‍♂️

[grand hearth]

I got 2 1/2 extra T bottles from when I tried Folx so sometimes I use those

But only to like complete a dose if what’s left in another bottle isn’t enough

I’m incredibly stingy in how I use T I make sure I use as much of it as possible in the bottle

[clever badge]

ive also seen people say that after a while on hrt they lost like. half an inch of height which isnt much but it's still crazy that that can happen

god ive only been on E for 39 days and I feel like literally everything has changed already

and the fact that this is only the beginning has me so hopeful for the distant future

[clever badge]

ik the message is deleted but im not lucky to be on E now . i had to wait for 3 years until i turned 18 which is just how it works sometimes

no way in hell could 18 ever be "too late" either, if people who transition when they're in their senior years still end up looking absolutely incredible

i understand how awful it is to have to wait but even only being 39 days in ive completely forgotten how i felt beforehand

[chrome snow]

I used to feel the same way until I started seeing other people's experiences with transitioning later on in life.

Like you said, it's never too late to be who you want to be.

[scenic falcon]

im not trans but, whenever I find an edgy/offensive place on the internet I tell people I like femtanyl.

after that, grab some popcorn and watch them seethe >:3

[frozen breach]

yes!!! last thursday i went to a book talk/book signing with a trans woman author who recently published a memoir about starting her transition in her late sixties(!!), and while passing obviously isn't the end all be all of transition, she did pass really well and i never would have guessed that she started her transition just three years ago. she also talked about all the ways that hrt has affected her, and how even though it probably isn't the same as if she had started when she was younger, she's still had a lot of incredible changes. and like, on one hand i think that no trans person should ever have to wait that long to be able to be themselves, but on the other hand it's always better late than never for things like this.

even if the best time to start was way far in the past, the second best time is always right now

[frozen breach]

hrt is fucking magical

one of my best friends started e like three weeks ago and she already seems so much happier and more full of life

she doesn't look any different and so far she hasn't noticed many tangible changes, but she's just so happy now. i remember my family describing something similar happening to me when i was about a month on hrt as well, where i just seemed so much more at peace. this stuff is a miracle drug fr

[tropic zenith]

THANK YOU I LOVE U TIBI😭💖

[unkempt crane]

I hope enby and xenogender stuff falls under this category (technically does, but.)

I'm vibing so hard with my halloween costume today, it's a plague doctor costume essentially and my bird like mask makes me feel so happy lol

(as my name suggests, I'm pretty much a crow in every way, lol)

not just like. kin but in a xeno sense too

[spring crescent]

thats SO fuckin cool totally missed this msg cuz of my trip but im gonna have a similar experience with my werewolf costume too :3

halloween party on november 2nd ?!? heh... more likely than you think

but yeah its kindof been creeping on the back of my mind that maybe im not actually agender but some kinda animal xenogender

[last pilot]

there is always time for a werewolf costume tbh

[steady swift]

put this back up to remind myself what i gotta stand for in light of recent events

[indigo barn]

that is badass

[real meadow]

https://x.com/sapparax/status/1854395460842098740?s=46

pj !!🌾 (@sapparax) on X

death before detransition.

Twitter · Nov 7, 2024, 5:28 AM

[indigo barn]

this is fucking awesome

[tight hatch]

HELL YEA

[frozen breach]

kinda needed to see this today