#transdome

1 messages · Page 9 of 1

austere jay
#

come room with me would be fucking awesome

#

thinking about moving out soon would be chill as fuck to have some trans machine girl roommates

zinc oriole
#

I have 4 bucks in my bank account lol

balmy pond
unborn atlas
#

trans punk house trans punk house

#

the dream

zinc oriole
#

It would :,

bronze ocean
#

can i live in the trans house

zinc oriole
#

Yessss absolutely

bronze ocean
#

okay.. uhm

#

could you take the floor plinth off?

#

so i can make a hole in the wall

zinc oriole
#

Yessss holes all over the wall

bronze ocean
#

:3

balmy pond
#

I

#

I'll take the summoning chambers in the cellar next to the lazarus pits

frozen breach
balmy pond
#

Deadass if anyones tryna move up to the philly/nj/nyc area hmu, id need a bit of time to get my finances in order but id be so down to room with any of yall

unborn atlas
#

I wanna live in the walls

zinc oriole
vapid dune
zinc oriole
#

:] IT REALLY WOULD

#

Hopefully I have my finances in order

#

Because are they bad

balmy pond
#

omfgggg i feel that

zinc oriole
#

The job market here is shit and I do not drive

balmy pond
#

so glad i went to college

zinc oriole
#

I'm currently in my senior year but idk if I'm graduating lol

#

I'm eager to leave this state tbh

#

I'm on the fence bc I'll probably graduate Jan of 2025 but I also don't want to wait that long to leave here

balmy pond
#

yea :/

#

is there anyway u could finish up online?

#

or maybe transfer ur credits to a college up here

zinc oriole
#

That's true, but also my family handles a lot of my college stuff and I'm aiming to cut them off

#

So idk what to do

#

By next spring I'll probably have around 120 credits but each school has program requirements
I assume they'd make me stay longer

unborn atlas
#

important!!!!

bronze ocean
#

shes spitting

unborn atlas
#

facts machine

#

I bought the HBA shirt I did because I've been yearning for it since 2013

#

it's just a coincidence that Ash Vestal has the same one

bronze ocean
#

whats the hba shirt

unborn atlas
#

Hood By Air

#

it's got HR Giger prints on the arms and back

bronze ocean
#

ids habbenings

zinc oriole
#

I HAD

#

OAT MILK WHITE RUSSIAN

#

Happy to report it was very good

bronze ocean
#

oh shit!!

#

i got stuff to make one

#

im gonna have one after i get the prep for my dinner done so i dont get distracted having a buzz and stuff

zinc oriole
#

Ooo nice :] lmk how you like it!

bronze ocean
#

holy shit this is really good

zinc oriole
#

I WANT SOME LATER NOWWW

bronze ocean
#

ermm .. makes u a glass

zinc oriole
#

Tyyy :]

unborn atlas
digital geyser
#

for binding, would people here recommend a binder or transtape more?

unborn atlas
#

I've seen people saying a binder is better but I don't have firsthand experience so I can't say for sure

zinc oriole
#

I've heard it can be uncomfortable for people with larger chests to wear and harder to take off

digital geyser
#

ahh ok, i have a smaller chest, is one better recommended than the other for someone whose plus size?

#

also which would be the cheaper option ifnancially

zinc oriole
#

However if you bind a lot you'll have to keep buying more after u run out

bronze ocean
#

is transtape like, limited use?

#

like is it really just tape or are they just calling it that

zinc oriole
#

You can wear it for a few days in my experience

#

It's similar to athletic tape in material!

#

Just the adhesive is stronger

bronze ocean
#

ohh ues i see

#

but like a binder will last you longer in the long run right

zinc oriole
#

Yes! Well if you dont buy from gc2b that is

#

Their binders are nooot good now

bronze ocean
digital geyser
#

oooo i seee

digital geyser
digital geyser
#

how often do you have to replace the tape rolls

#

and also can you keep it on while working out etc

#

cuz binders are limited obviously by like time you can use it for and so on

zinc oriole
#

Yep! Back when I had it I just kept it on until a few days later
U can even shower with it on and swim

digital geyser
#

oooo

#

👀

zinc oriole
#

I haven't tried fully working out in it since I haven't used it in awhile but I'm sure it'd be ok

#

Back when I had it I used it like 5 or so times and there was still a lot left

digital geyser
#

thats good

zinc oriole
#

Both are good options! Transtape is also not visible with tanktops usually which is a plus

digital geyser
#

i think even if the cost is going to add up more than just a single binder, it'd be more spread out too

#

hm

#

im leaning towards tape more i think

#

im planning on getting some form of binding once im out of the house for university

zinc oriole
#

If you're financially able you could get both and use one as backup

digital geyser
#

true, i'd probably invest in tape first

#

do you know wheres the best place to get tape from?

zinc oriole
#

The transtape site! I can send a link

digital geyser
#

please do thanks!!

zinc oriole
#

https://transtape.life/

Transtape
TransTape

Providing an alternative method to chest binding for trans and non-binary people. FTM, MTF, binding, packing, and tucking. Skin care products. Safe alternative to body modification.

digital geyser
#

thank you so much 🙏

#

cant wait to be out of the house, im not sure if im gonna fully come out and have my professors call me by my name or just be open amongst my peers, either way im no longer going to go by she/her pronouns publically which will be so good 🙏

#

also gonna finally apply to be on the NHS waiting list for trans healthcare as soon as im on a new GP 🙏 it'll be so good to start finally transitioning because i've been closeted for literally so long now and i'm sick of it

zinc oriole
#

It's going to be great once you have more freedom!

#

I believe in you amenbreaktrans

digital geyser
#

thank you!!!! transrights

zinc oriole
#

Ofc!
The medical system can be so frustrating but don't lose patience! Keep fighting and you'll get it!

digital geyser
#

(coming out to my parents will probably only take place if i get a gender dysphoria diagnosis as like a thing to back me up lmao because they have some sucky ass opinions though, since that's a scenario where i wouldnt be able to hide any transition from them bc as soon as i can get hormones im going on them)

zinc oriole
#

I've been on T since the beginning of 2020 and am still not out to most of my family. Coming out is not a requirement to begin your transition or for any lgbt identity. If it's smth that will make things harder for you you aren't under any obligation to come out!

digital geyser
#

so its really just a case of how safe do i want to be

digital geyser
zinc oriole
#

Their opinions ans view of you shouldn't stop you from doing what'll make you happy. I've learned that constantly trying to get approval doesn't work when it comes to unaccepting parents
Also that's smth you can mention beforehand to them!

digital geyser
#

i had a friend (not with bad intent, i just didnt communicate clearly not to do this) out me to their parents which makes me then feel worried because i dont trust their parents to not misgender me in front of my parents

#

i mean not not misgender me

#

they should misgender me lol

zinc oriole
#

You could always let them know, I'm sure they'd understand!

digital geyser
#

oh they know and they've explained it to their parents i still just dont trust the parents enough yk

digital geyser
#

its why im hesitant about changing my name on the system for the professors since i'll be an adult who can do that just in case a scenario happened where they interacted with my parents and outed me. i'll defo speak to the university when i first get there ( i havent even gotten in yet lol) and see what options there are, my friend told me there are ways to this to happen that would be safe for me but im always so cautious with everything just because i dont want one slip up to cost me yk

#

im putting off coming out as long as possible lol

#

sorry for waffling so much, this has all been on my mind recently as i think about my future and who i want to be. im tired of putting other things, especially my anxiety tbf, before my own happiness and i just want to exist as a chill dude in the world like i should be

zinc oriole
#

The choice to put your name on stuff when it comes to college is usually for teachers and staff only to see, I don't believe your parents will have access or have info given to them since in college you're an adult but it could be different for yoy

#

Don't apologize! You deserve to be able to live as yourself

#

Nobody should have to suppress that

#

It's scary but worth it to transition. The anxiety will always be there but nothing can stop you from being trans, so why worry!
Easier said than done ofc but it's worth it

zinc oriole
digital geyser
#

my friend told me they think that that institution will allow u to request what name they use at graduation but i think i will check before i make any decision on my name, it may end up being a case of directly coming out to professors and just telling them, or even only coming out to select professors who may be more receptive (e.g. if its a class on queer theory obviosuly i think the professor would likely be accepting but yk)

digital geyser
digital geyser
#

but thanks for the bidning advice!!! i probably will go for the transtape at first, then maybe if i have some spare money at some point i'll invest in a binder

zinc oriole
zinc oriole
digital geyser
#

i had a really great conversation about queer theory with one of the professors at a visit last year where she was understanding about my situation when i asked her if i could photograph the book recs she gave me so hopefully that's a good sign

#

(she wrote them down i mean thats why i photographed them instead of taking the paper)

sturdy trail
#

what writers were the books

zinc oriole
#

Show the books if you have the pic

digital geyser
#

i dont have the books but i have the names

#

ive not actually looked into any of these properly just an fyi, also these will slant towards queer literary theory topics
Eve Sedgwick Queer and Now essay
Lauren Berlant and Michael Warner Sex in Public
Robert McRuer Crip Theory (looks at queerness and disability)
Jose Esteban Munos Cruising Utopia

digital geyser
bronze ocean
#

did you happen to get the isbn numbers for those books

#

asking for a sea dog

digital geyser
#

im afraid not, just the names

sturdy trail
#

oh eve sedgwick is the one who did jane austen and the masturbating girl

#

so based

digital geyser
#

i didnt know much about her but she seems important to queer lit theory

sturdy trail
#

also michael warner is crazy based

#

he did a lot of important stuff similar to against equality

digital geyser
#

i actually cannot find any info on the professor who gave me that list. the one i think she is on the website focusses a lot on modern lit which is good becuase that's what im mostly interested in

digital geyser
#

i cant wait to learn more about the topic, i hope i can take a class on it in uni 🙏

sturdy trail
#

against equality should be talked about more tee bee aych

#

that professor is culture

digital geyser
#

i know the uni also do some queer lit on a class everyone takes in first year (i know because ive read one of the books they used as an example) so

#

i think generally they do seem pretty good for lgbt students but we'll see

sturdy trail
#

if it's queer lit then it's most likely not transphobic unless it has like radfem stuff or something

#

along with terfs not being fond of the term queer in the first place

bronze ocean
#

☝️

#

there might be a few crypto-terfs tho like

#

if its first year

#

but theyll like either drop out or go to other classes

digital geyser
bronze ocean
#

oh like

#

you know like crypto-fascists? like theyre doing dogwhistles and shit like that

#

its like that but for terfs

digital geyser
#

ohhhh

#

right

bronze ocean
#

JAQing off and shit

#

esp. in a college setting

#

but uh i cant find sex in public on libgen :( can any student help out a lumpenprole with their cool jstor access

digital geyser
#

most of the people ive encountered in lit courses etc have been super cool. lots of gay people too. everytime ive gone to university open days it's like "spot the gay people"

bronze ocean
#

real and true tbh

digital geyser
#

shoutout to this guy who did harry potter when we could pick a piece of media to do a presentation on for a thing. he barely analysed it and didn't even bring up anything surrounding the author it was one of the worst analyses ive ever seen of a text

#

extra awkward because the professor for this (it was a taster at a different institution) used they/them pronouns

#

i did death note for that you could really do absolutely anything

digital geyser
sturdy trail
#

inclusive gotta be one of the most annoying buzzwords of our time

digital geyser
#

"harry potter is about accepting others"...ok bestie what about literally every criticism of the books and how they dont do that ever

#

i dont think he even talked about the racism metaphor of the books i think he literally just gave the most bland analysis ever

#

it stands out because literally everyone else who CHOSE to speak in that class gave really insightful comments about the texts they chose

balmy pond
digital geyser
#

you didnt have to choose books though. people did movies n stuff too, including stuff like marvel

#

like you could talk about any media you could think of

#

also he couldve picked one of the texts he does at school i dont think the professor wouldve cared

balmy pond
#

Wow ok nm

vapid dune
#

Tramsgemder

balmy pond
feral wind
#

the transginger

digital geyser
#

me (i dye my hair ginger and i am trans)

feral wind
#

i am trans

#

i wanna dye my hair white,dark/light green,or mb dark purple

balmy pond
#

I want my hair to be every color but especially blue cuz im basic

feral wind
#

i think ginger would be cool

balmy pond
#

Like a saphire with emerald highlights

feral wind
#

eh blue is ok ig

balmy pond
#

Ginger would be nice

feral wind
balmy pond
#

For me its like 50% of my wardrobe is blue or black so it just works with what ive got

feral wind
#

for me its mostly black with some white

#

and like my only white shirt is an i ❤️ black midi shirt

#

i wanna get more band tees cause i have a death grips and black midi shirt and im getting a bell witch tee

digital geyser
#

i like ginger because i wear a lot of green/teal so they go well with it

#

ive considered getting green/teal highlights but i think they'd be too hard to maintain, but im defo gonna keep the ginger

feral wind
#

i wanna start wearing more than just black

#

but idk what

#

imma start dressing like im in a midwest emo band

#

need to stack up on flannels

misty harness
#

remembered this game today and I would highly recommend it https://store.steampowered.com/app/827290/Secret_Little_Haven/

Steam
Secret Little Haven

Secret Little Haven is a game about old computers, community, creativity, fandom, gender, and the internet. Alex Cole is a teenage trans girl in 1999 who has yet to figure herself out. She spends much of her free time on the internet, browsing a fan forum for her favorite magical girl show, and chatting with her friends.Join her on her story of ...

Price

$4.99

Recommendations

289

▶ Play video
#

read the CWs in the description first tho

inland schooner
# digital geyser do you know wheres the best place to get tape from?

I've been binding for like 2 years and using tape for around a year or so. Tape all the way. Just remember to remove it with oil because some people forget that for some reason?
It's tape of course it's not gonna come off easily and rip skin.
That aside it's way better for you tbh like binding compressed my back a ton because I'm quite broad and i got pain and bresthing difficulty but it was best option st the time. Trans tape can effect skin elasticity for top surgery should you pursue that, my surgeon didn't have a problem with it (I am getting peri) just told me to stop wearing it 2 weeks before.
If you're an active person I would rec but if not I'd still rec

inland schooner
zinc oriole
#

Plus I may pursue keyhole

digital geyser
#

i think it'll work better for me since i already get back pain (bad posture moment jkfdjsdkl)

valid cloud
#

I’ve used binders and tape and I much prefer the tape

digital geyser
#

actually thats kinda sparked another question since ive never rlly looked into methods of top surgery properly but what is like the type that leads to the least amount of complications etc? (i have a really bad fear relating to operations so i obviously want to limit chances of having to have more surgery etc)

#

i have a smaller chest, especially for a plus size person but obviously i am also plus sized and even though i do intend to try and work out and stuff i doubt im going to be able to ever not be at least a bit chubby if those are factors 👍 no worries if ppl dont know and i am a logn way off any surgery

vapid dune
#

The cis people need to publicly out a trans person

#

Am in line at chipotle. Surrounded by people of course. And out the kitchen j guess to go on break comes out a dude and he’s like “oh hey man!!! Haven’t seen you in a while. You remember me? I used to work at Buffalo Wild Wings. I used to always be your server. How you been dude?” And I’m just standing there awkwardly sweating like uhhhh I think you got the wrong person… he’s like “NAH NAH dude I know it’s you you’re that guy who would always order this and that” and I’m like …again… I think you got the wrong person

#

Until he finally fucked off

#

It felt like he was aggressively gendering me on purpose

chrome snow
#

That shit is so uncomfortable.

inland schooner
zinc oriole
#

I'm so sorry aggy that you have to interact with so many transphobes. You don't deserve it at all and I hope you'll be able to be somewhere safer soon

inland schooner
#

No problem!! :D

austere jay
#

after using tape for like 6+ months instead of binding a lot of my regular rib pain has gone away or is at least les noticeable. definitely recommend

#

i’ve had zero impact on how loose my skin is, but i will say, my chest itself feels a lot more healthy and in better condition than when using a binder. hard to describe, but a week of binding vs a week of tape looks drastically different on my chest. also, don’t psyched yourself out too much about surgery complications from binding. i’m not sure most of it is proven to be correct anyways, at least when it comes to tissue

digital geyser
#

ok tysm!!!

misty harness
#

I got ma'amed today 🥰

zinc oriole
#

:D

vapid dune
austere jay
#

nobody at my new jobs knows i’m trans and the guys there have started making those weird gay jokes with me and i don’t know how to interact

#

sounds dumb but i was never socialized as a cis male teenager i have no frame of reference for this

inland schooner
#

Just say the most outlandish and out of pocket shit back trust

#

Source:teenage stealth guy

frozen breach
#

literally just turn your brain off and let the words come out it's always works

unborn atlas
zinc oriole
#

Ask them what the joke is

#

Or what is supposed to be funny

#

Act like you genuinely don't get it and see them try to explain why gay people are supposed to be funny

austere jay
#

happy pride month to my trans siblings only

vapid dune
#

Happy gay people month :3

zinc oriole
#

HAPPY PRIDEE

#

Colors picked from the twin peaks intro made by one of my best friends :]

twin_peaks_pride_flag.png
bronze ocean
#

it is trans people birthday

zinc oriole
frozen breach
#

pide month!!

#

also maybe this is just me but pride month as a straight trans person can be kinda awkward

#

like I kinda am made to feel like I'm not supposed to be included because I'm not gay but also I know that being trans still counts

sturdy trail
#

i hav a theory that all straight trans people are by default gay because transness implies having a different conceptualization of gender and sexuality in general that is in essence gay

#

gay being used as a synonym for queer

#

i don't think compartmentalizing a word as vague as gay to "specifically exclusively homosexual" is helpful

frozen breach
#

but I get what you mean about gay as more of an umbrella term (at least I think that's what you're saying but I could be misinterpreting)

zinc oriole
#

Pride month is for all lgbt people

#

It'd be stupid to exclude straight trans people

#

Because they're part of the community... it isn't just pride for only gay people

#

Bc that'd exclude trans ace people etc

#

Also happy first day of pride a couple of teenagers called me the f slur

sturdy trail
#

sometimes i feel like pride is in poor taste in the current climate

#

i hav decided going is not worth it unless you're wearing a pup mask and harness or something

#

it's barely subversive anymore just a marketing campaign

zinc oriole
#

This image comes to mind

sturdy trail
#

yesyesyesyesy

zinc oriole
#

It's Cia tactics for disorganizing activism

frozen breach
#

it's so dumb like this is not the time to argue over who pride is "for" and other dumb infighting shit

zinc oriole
#

Points to the picture

#

Infighting is literally pointless and only serves to divide the community

#

@ them

austere jay
#

dunno if that’s just me but as of recent i’ve felt like i’m separated from cis gay people

balmy pond
#

no i get that too. now that they've got their own (for now) it seems easier to forget abt us

#

"yuppie gays threw us under the bus" and shit

sturdy trail
#

i think a big portion of the separation comes from how much energy went into gay marriage

#

in my experience it's mostly been cis lesbians

zinc oriole
#

I don't think our community divide can be pitted on one demographic

#

While there's a lot of transphobia I don't think that it's the sole reason things are so disjointed

#

I'm not sure of the reason but my theory is the resurgence of puritanical values and censorship

#

And how that's affecting (mainly) the US at large rn and how people are portrayed

#

I could go on but don't want to be negative this early during pride month. I think recently more people have been pushing back against assimilation to non lgbt standards and palatability as a community but it has a long ass way to go before we can return to the freedom of expression we once had I think

#

As counterintuitive as it seems I've seen older lgbt people talk about how it was easier to be openly queer in comparison to now. Especially trans

sturdy trail
sturdy trail
zinc oriole
#

I feel like everything is being talked about tbh, it's just that the people and voices that are most vocal are the negative ones

sturdy trail
#

if i show up to a high school gsa and say gay marriage was mostly a mistake politically i will be crucified

#

so i think people don't talk about it enough

#

increased visibility without material gain just makes us a moving target as seen by the moral panic right now

spice sphinx
#

Protestant evangelicals are on the decline with every new generation, so I think a lot of it is that "last gasp" sorta thing by a lot of right lawmakers right now. It's that weyrich shit from the reagan era of riling up evangelicals. Because even if they're a dwindling population, they vote, they're violent, and they stay that way.

zinc oriole
#

They're scared

#

Because they know now we are greater than them

unborn atlas
unborn atlas
unborn atlas
#

and "representation"

sturdy trail
#

so real

unborn atlas
#

it's a psyop I swear

#

where the greatest thing we can do for trans people is to just have them present in media

#

screw that

#

I'm also tired of like

#

wussy little coming out scenes

#

for allies to gawk at and comment on how sweet and precious it is

sturdy trail
#

the worst recent example i can think of off the top of my head is heartstopper

unborn atlas
#

I dunno what that is

sturdy trail
#

good

unborn atlas
#

no I must suffer

spice sphinx
#

It’s just so nothing

#

Day in and day out you’ll get these vapid words of praise from allies

#

If you call me “brave” for the shit I go through I’m stealing somethin outta your house!

frozen breach
frozen breach
frozen breach
#

like especially my friend who's a cis lesbian and "supported" me right up until I started T and figured out I was straight and not bi

unborn atlas
#

in regards to awkward allies I try to maintain an attitude of

littleconfused.gif
#

I've never really had anybody care enough to fuck it up really bad tho

frozen breach
#

yeah I def prefer people who are genuinely supportive but don't fully understand to people who make it a way bigger deal than it has to be for like brownie points or whatever

inland schooner
unborn atlas
#

the actual tangible manifestation of my nonbinary status is the one that maintains gayness if I smooch a man as a woman

inland schooner
#

real asf

frozen breach
#

insert stupid heterophobia joke

zinc oriole
unborn atlas
zinc oriole
#

I agree :]

bronze ocean
#

some nice purples going on here tbh

maxresdefault.jpg
#

(my best guess)

unborn atlas
#

tru

misty harness
#

at least, at the start

astral gull
#

Personally I'm nb with no plans to transition bc of my own relationship with it so idk if I Belong in this forum srry if I dont...

balmy pond
#

U absolutely do ur good

astral gull
#

Okay w bc like

#

Idk I forgot but it's interesting how so many ppl can view their own gender in different ways yet still find common ground

balmy pond
#

It is cool c:

zinc oriole
#

Being trans doesn't have requirements. If you don't want to medically transition that doesn't disqualify you from transness!

astral gull
#

That's such a w mindset

#

Though it has its differences bc it throws any binary out the window, I consider myself a little different but no less than yall

misty harness
#

gender-non-conformingdome doesn't have the same ring to it so we stick to transdome

#

but everyone is welcome here

unborn atlas
#

hi I'm gnc as fuck rn

astral gull
#

I don't think I fall under the umbrella till I see angel devil and go Zang that's gender asf

#

But I tend to be rather femme leaning personally

#

Mostly middle

unborn atlas
#

who?

astral gull
#

You guys are so chill I have not seen a single altercation in this channel already much different than other gnc or trans spaces

astral gull
unborn atlas
#

I'm old I dunno what anime is

astral gull
#

Lol I can show you

#

Also trans spaces on tumblr specifically are so scary 💀

#

This feller

e3b8c1c0718e922c5777c8a657d977d7_1.jpg
unborn atlas
#

oh yeah that's pretty gender

astral gull
#

Fr so fire

#

Yk I'm glad Matt gets it... they just do like

#

Iykyk

unborn atlas
#

my gender is a bit more

suit.jpg
astral gull
#

Are they from a VK band?

#

But I see the influence in your goat sona alone, at least what they're wearing sorta gives that vibe

#

Also ayami Kojima castlevania art gender asf

unborn atlas
frozen breach
#

ngl part of how I first got into machine girl was because I saw a picture of matt performing and I was like "gender⁉️"

astral gull
astral gull
frozen breach
#

yeahyeah

#

machine girl transed my gender😔

unborn atlas
#

and yeah I do think machine girl enhanced whatever gender I had going at the moment

astral gull
#

Their descriptions of what its like helped me better understand myself bc ive had a needlessl complicated journey with gender

astral gull
#

Meant French not fresh

unborn atlas
sturdy trail
#

crayzee how pride was supposed to be a riot but it's pretty much the opposite now

#

reaffirming my opinion that there is no point in going if you're not gonna be in pup mask and harness and/or tom of finland ass costume causing a ruckus and burning shit

sturdy trail
final heart
#

pride is so fucking liberalized and defanged now

#

u go to a pride parade and u get a td bank pride pen ur doing something wrong

sturdy trail
#

yeasd

astral gull
#

Capitalism should not be seen at pride

#

Like no companies unless they're small businesses owned by queer people

sturdy trail
#

small businesses r also bad technically

astral gull
#

How

sturdy trail
#

it's creating more enterprises in the sea of markets and incentivizing competition and also small business owners r often annoying and petite bourgeois especially the pop up startup ones

astral gull
#

Ok that makes sense

#

Kinda reminds me of how they try to wave you over or stare you down at conventions that's annoying asf

#

I'm sorry but if you're trying to entice me I will not be interested I am immune to advertising

final heart
#

yea i was in providence last week and stopped by this place that advertised itself as a queer boutique/cafe in this super bougie area and they had the pink triangle outside like why 💀 ur a gentrifier just stop

sturdy trail
#

so real

final heart
#

if pride events were to highlight small business it should be more like community businesses and stuff

#

less of a “hey we’re a queer owned cake shop that doesn’t have anything under 200 dollars for sale” or something more of a “let’s uplift each other”

astral gull
#

Sometging abt that really irks me

astral gull
final heart
#

yea on the one hand it was like a very openly queer area which is always cool to see but like it also reads as assimilation like “hey look we can do capitalism just as good as cis ppl 😇😇😇!!”

astral gull
#

Or just burn capitalism to the ground

#

I exaggerate but yeah I think you explained pretty well bc that's always sorta irked me.. or when companies sell pride merch the pandering is so damn strong

#

Real pride merch is buying blahaj

sturdy trail
#

blahaj is not that much better

final heart
#

like i’m not hating on ppl for trying to make a living and trying to like escape oppression but you are hurting everyone if you step on other marginalized people on your way to “success”

astral gull
final heart
#

cause like it’s usually the white queers doing it

astral gull
#

Ans they unfortunately have an upper hand

#

White queers scare me and I'm white like... why are some of them so ableist although that's a slightly different conversation

#

Like the amount of white cis gay dudes who have treated me like garbage for being neurodiv is so weird

sturdy trail
#

how so

astral gull
#

What

#

What thing r u saying that to

sturdy trail
#

the treated u like garbage for being neurodiv part

astral gull
#

Like. Idk how to describe it and im not trying to generalize but they seem to think that since they're "one of the good ones" they feel they can do that

#

Yk like the "basic" gays tend to infight anyone not like them and it's happened to me

#

Maybe my wording was a little weird but that's what I meant to convey

sturdy trail
#

wher does the neurodivergent fall into that tho

#

feesh curiosity

astral gull
#

Like the "weird" ones typically catch more shit

#

Not to say they don't too

#

That being neurodiv

#

I feel like I had a point and couldn't word it well enough to make sense

proper igloo
# sturdy trail

whos the artist behind this image if you dont mind me askin

sturdy trail
proper igloo
#

awesome sauce

inland schooner
unborn atlas
#

less pride parades and more communes

austere jay
#

elaborating on what i was saying earlier, even in myself i feel a divide between lgb and t for me, like my sexuality is not important to me and i don’t find community or solace in it but my trans identity is the opposite

#

i just feel like identifying heavily with my sexuality isn’t for me, but that might have more to do with the nature of it rather than the community. idk

astral gull
#

Nah that tracks

inland schooner
#

But I kinda don't connect with either. I'm trans but I'm stealth and so it's never a 'bit' in my life aside personal. I'm just a queer guy, what kind? Idk. One of them , probably

zinc oriole
#

I feel like I am the opposite in a way. I never really felt connected to my gender or really acknowledged it until I explored my sexuality

inland schooner
#

My sexuality I feel now doesn't matter to me now that my gender is corrected and I'm happy with myself

sturdy trail
#

my gender is just more or less a reflection of my sexuality

#

and vice versa

digital geyser
#

for me, it was my queerness that helped me start to question my gender. when i realised i was attracted to girls that helped me start engaging with trans identity and realising i could also be trans. irony that now my attraction to men has become very intertwined to my gender, my identity as a queer man and as a trans man are very together

#

i think its partially bc i present as a gnc queer woman irl, so my attraction to men which is very linked to my gender as a man cant really be expressed when im not in a situation where im known to be trans

bronze ocean
#

i dont really think about this stuff im just silly

sturdy trail
#

same wavelenfhgt

chrome snow
#

im just gay and dumb

#

head empty

frozen breach
#

since figuring out im trans i think about my gender wayyyyy less because even though im not where i want to be with my transition, theres just so much more peace of mind

#

getting misgendered is such a jumpscare because in my head im just A Guy

astral gull
#

I didn't process it till it just really... hit me

#

Like "oh shit I really don't associate with either binary gender yet I do??"

sturdy trail
#

"either gender" LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER CANCELLED

#

joke

astral gull
#

Bruh

#

I meant either binary gender

#

If that wasn't clear

sturdy trail
#

i feel like people talk too much about gender and sexuality being entirely separate entities like how trans people and gay people are supposedly completely different and don't overlap at all along with "sex and gender are different", "sexual attraction and romantic attraction are different", "binary trans people and non binaries are different", etc

#

it all feels unhelpful and meaninglessly compartmentalizing

#

people are like smash the binary uwu and then proceed to make replacement binaries

astral gull
#

yeah we all are something other than agab :/ so whats so different

#

seeing convos here has changed my perception on that

astral gull
inland schooner
#

i could have just hated my body but that could have just been told its 'body dysmorphia' and i would have never known

sturdy trail
#

in a way trans is an exonym that is mainly only used now with western civilization

#

gnc people have existed forever trans is just a label that arose kind of recently to describe

#

also r u saying that the gender binary shouldn't be destroyed

inland schooner
#

to an extent, yeah

sturdy trail
#

like i can understand people not liking gender abolitionism but like with the gender binary specifically i feel like it's kind of self evident

inland schooner
#

i dont go into alot of trans spaces so i cannot describe my emotion towards it in a way with specific words

sturdy trail
#

also the body dysphoria stuff is where stuff like trans xenofeminism comes in

inland schooner
#

so i dont know what you mean

#

i dont know what that is

#

👍

astral gull
#

dont mind me i have nothing to add so i watch

inland schooner
#

thats ok

astral gull
#

kinda tough talking to ppl who had more time to know certain words and their meanings

#

likek i have never heard that in my life either cale

inland schooner
#

like i said i am not online, i do my best to stay off social media and alot of er, hm, 'online' queer spaces. i go online for art and memes .thats about it. i dont know specifics

inland schooner
astral gull
#

binary has its pros and cons such as toxic gender roles but if associating w a gender helps someone understand themselves i think thats all good

inland schooner
#

what i used to know from when i was 'terminally' online is often void so i couldnt tell you anything. i dont know words, i am like an innocent young boy who goes to church and likes baking (lie)

inland schooner
#

that is probably a better way to say what i mean

astral gull
#

my philosphy if thats the word is why should i care if it helps someone understand themselves

sturdy trail
inland schooner
astral gull
#

i dont choose to fully engage in either bc thats what helps me

#

¯_(ツ)_/¯

inland schooner
sturdy trail
astral gull
inland schooner
#

firefox is flagging the site

sturdy trail
astral gull
#

no one said that

sturdy trail
inland schooner
#

i just want people to be happy man

sturdy trail
# astral gull no one said that

well i'm saying it's not like an insular esoteric obscure subculture it's just the conclusion that queer theorists have made that i've seen trans people make references to

inland schooner
astral gull
#

👍

inland schooner
#

are you telling me spells

#

(joke)

sturdy trail
inland schooner
#

ok

sturdy trail
#

in the way i am using it i don't mean "non binary = not girl or boy" i mean nonbinary by its most straightforward self evident definition which is not of the gender binary

inland schooner
#

i am binary male and im pretty happy w that. lots of love transrights

astral gull
#

🚽 🪠

sturdy trail
#

for the record i'm not in like nominally queer-specific spaces so i don't think this view of it is like only accessible from those

inland schooner
#

yes im saying im not in any queer spaces

astral gull
#

which u dont have 2 be

timid grail
#

i come in here to say

IMG_1593.png
#

that this made me very happy

astral gull
#

she was v prettyyyy

timid grail
astral gull
#

oh that

#

FIRE

timid grail
#

nice to see smth like this in a huge movie like spiderverse

astral gull
#

Wasnt there a pride pin on someones backpack or was i tripping

timid grail
#

yes i think so

#

spidergwen trans 🤨?

astral gull
#

in this economy????

#

i sure hope so

sturdy trail
austere jay
#

respect for the opinion but idk if that tracks too much

#

i can kind of see it but i feel like it falls short places

sturdy trail
#

the people that people commonly see as binary trans who like conform to cisness as much as possible are more assimilationists than binary

#

because their experiences don'tt fit the traditional dichotomy that the binary is

#

and also the whole "binary trans women" thing being blamed for everything is just transmisogyny so people who try to bring it up are bad faith

#

along with "binary trans people" implying the existence of non binary as a 3rd gender which is very bad

inland schooner
#

respectfully disagree but as goes debates. nope, just binary because i fit society's binary and am happy with that. none binary just means outside the spectrum of which gender is, or both, or none. that depends on the person

sturdy trail
#

gender isn't a spectrum !

#

mapping gender my behated

inland schooner
#

ok! thats fine, but in my experience, it was

astral gull
#

as a nonbinary person i dont think considering it outside of trans binary makes it seem like a 3rd gender but the absence of, it all depends on how someone says it that'd make it seem as such

tardy creekBOT
#

@astral gull has leveled up! (7 ➜ 8)

levelup.png
sturdy trail
inland schooner
#

i am just not 'inherently nonbinary' just because i am trans. i have id'd as nonbinary and didnt feel comfortable like that, but not that i am just some guy. i dont know what an assimilationist is so i cant comment on that but i do conform because thats what makes me comfortable and i enjoy, i dont care if other people do or dont because thats none of my business

sturdy trail
#

historically conformity has been a political thing so i'm going to make judgements off it

inland schooner
#

all respect but wtf r u talking about

astral gull
#

as A nonbinary person i disagree with that equating 3rd genderism ...

frozen breach
#

yeah I don't think conformity has to be a political statement I think for a lot of people it's just about feeling okay and normal and comfortable

astral gull
#

bc we are different than binary trans ppl and thats ok! as long as we get along with the other who cares

inland schooner
sturdy trail
#

conformity has connotations tho like if you're just using it as an innocent word to describe ur experience i think u should use another word cuz conform is very charged

astral gull
#

💀

inland schooner
#

💀

astral gull
#

no ones seeing those connotations but you

sturdy trail
#

idk why people act like trans people are different from every other marginalized group and don't have their own assimilation and conformity problems

astral gull
#

conformity is not always bad youre just used to it being a negative word

#

while its being used in a positive context

inland schooner
sturdy trail
#

conform is not a positive word at all

inland schooner
#

but this is the trans dome

sturdy trail
#

wdym

#

"think outside a box" is such a common saying that implies conformity is bad

#

like isn't just general society bad opinion

#

conforming to what cis people expect is Bad very surprising

astral gull
#

me when the channel for discussing trans stuff gets turned into explaining other ppls identites for them

inland schooner
#

yeah but i like doing that because its what makes me happy so i dont see the problem

sturdy trail
inland schooner
#

not everyone has to do that but i do that because it makes me happy and comfortable in my own skin

sturdy trail
#

and say what rather mainstream queer theorists have been saying for decades

inland schooner
astral gull
#

you shouldnt have to try to not do that

#

🤨

frozen breach
#

yeah like sorry doing traditional guy stuff and getting to feel like myself for the first time ever is what makes me happy. I personally am not going to perform traditional masculinity for cis people but I'm also not going to perform gender nonconformity for other trans people

sturdy trail
sturdy trail
#

i perform "traditional" masculinity all the time

astral gull
#

you literally said all trans ppl are nb by default

#

💀

inland schooner
frozen breach
#

I just mean I guess that I "conform" because I want to and not for the sake of cis people and mainstream society

sturdy trail
astral gull
#

but you said it to a trans person

sturdy trail
inland schooner
sturdy trail
frozen breach
#

I think we've established that the way the word conform is being used in this conversation is imperfect

sturdy trail
#

i'm not asking trans people to be gnc cuz my opinion is all of us automatically are regardless of presentation

#

this isn't a masc/femme thing

astral gull
#

that was actual nonsense

sturdy trail
#

okay u can think that

astral gull
#

yes i cna

#

thanks for noticing

sturdy trail
#

to be clear i'm using the binary as like a systemic thing perpetuated onto trans people i don't mean Everyone Is Invalid

#

i think it's a mistake akin to the "born this way" stuff

#

of the queer movement in general

#

not specific people

inland schooner
#

do i have to say that im a "'traditional' masc binary trans man" to get my point across. i dont care how people are, i do things because i like that are 'traditional', its not because i feel forced to and i can do whatever i want and dont feel pressured to be in any particular way, i just like it. its simple as that

frozen breach
inland schooner
sturdy trail
#

why do u act like i haven't had the exact same experience

#

i see that this has devolved into insults

inland schooner
#

because youre making it fucking weird mate

sturdy trail
#

i don't like being treated as a neutral entity instead of a fellow trans person

astral gull
#

if you dont want to be misunderstood dont say it exactly how you did

#

you dont have to

#

but dont generalize that onto everyone we dont appreciate it, u do u

sturdy trail
#

the way i said it is how i feel plain and simple

astral gull
#

yeah and thats fine

sturdy trail
astral gull
#

it still kinda is..

frozen breach
sturdy trail
#

then u interpreted it wrong

frozen breach
#

just like how even though cale and I weren't using the word conform in a negative sense and it still came across that way to you

inland schooner
frozen breach
#

people misinterpret stuff all the time especially online

sturdy trail
#

conform is a political word in this context

astral gull
#

cleanup on aisle 4

inland schooner
astral gull
#

being a gender isnt political

frozen breach
sturdy trail
sturdy trail
#

i'm addressing the movement

frozen breach
#

no, you're generalizing, and by generalizing you have indirectly made several people very uncomfortable

sturdy trail
#

i'm sorry that you're threatened by people not liking conformity and assimilationism

frozen breach
#

I'm not threatened by that

astral gull
#

whats blud wafflin abt

image.png
austere jay
#

i personally just don’t like this need to over analyze peoples identities, whatever that may look like, if someone says they’re binary that’s cool, if someone believes no body is binary that’s cool as well, at the end of the day none of this matters

sturdy trail
#

uncomfortable i assume means threatened specifically identities threatened which shouldn't be a problem when someone says conformity is a political word

frozen breach
#

it's the shit about calling every trans person nonbinary and gnc that makes me uncomfortable because I've worked so goddamn hard to not be seen as those things

sturdy trail
#

again why do u assume i haven't had the exact same experience

austere jay
#

people can believe what they want, shouldn’t be a big deal cuz as soon as we get into it it’s just infighting like this

sturdy trail
#

gnc does not necessarily mean butch

austere jay
#

none of this is necessary, let’s all agree to disagree

sturdy trail
astral gull
sturdy trail
#

u didn't u kept egging me on and insulting me

astral gull
#

show me where i insulted you please

#

if you perceive peoples discomfort as being threatened then what is that?

inland schooner
#

reminds me of that one cia document that wayne pointed out

frozen breach
#

!!!!!

astral gull
#

resisting the urge to read that as wanye

sturdy trail
astral gull
#

wanye west

sturdy trail
astral gull
#

yes

inland schooner
#

yes

astral gull
#

/s

inland schooner
#

(also sarcasm)

sturdy trail
#

do you know what doing this to a specific person is

#

it's fedjacketing

astral gull
#

u did not

sturdy trail
#

which is also used by the cia

#

and also a way people are ostracized

inland schooner
austere jay
#

this is a trans forum in a machine girl server i can promise you it is not that deep

tardy creekBOT
#

@austere jay has leveled up! (13 ➜ 14)

levelup.png
astral gull
austere jay
#

everybody leave each other alone

sturdy trail
astral gull
#

oh my god

#

stop

#

please

austere jay
#

beyond pointless everyone go back to your respective holes for the night

lethal silo
#

I am the FBI. Chill out and stop arguing about semantical issues or it's timeout time pls

austere jay
#

all of you

frozen breach
#

I'm going to bed. we're all trans. we all have different experiences. I love all of you goodnight

inland schooner
#

ok :3

astral gull
#

:3

frozen breach
#

:3

lethal silo
#

:3

astral gull
#

thanks vinny

frozen breach
#

Vinny savior of transdome

inland schooner
#

and creator of transdome 😈

astral gull
#

oh fr?

#

oh

#

yeah

austere jay
#

i’m op baby

astral gull
#

vinny i mean it tysm

frozen breach
#

ok this is completely unrelated to anything BUT I was 8 months on T on Friday !!!!!

#

trans positivity in transdome (real?)

astral gull
#

hows it feeling?

astral gull
austere jay
frozen breach
frozen breach
astral gull
#

why do i feel lowkey good abt having very low traces of testosterone in my body (random long ass chin hair from outta nowhere and more frequent hair growth)

inland schooner
#

i just checked but i am a year on T, on the 8th!!! (one day before yours ollie :D!!)

astral gull
frozen breach
frozen breach
austere jay
#

final statement on everything as thread op is as follows; everyone here is more than welcome to have their own opinion on things as well as disagree on others about what they think. everyone has different lived experiences and perspectives and backgrounds than effect our life paths in very complex ways, and we all need to have grace for each other in this. fighting between ourselves over very very small things does not serve us. cisgender people want us divided and we cannot give them that. no matter what i may believe, it’s my duty to support all my trans siblings and i hope you all feel the same way as well. i love all of you, im glad all of you are here, let’s remember where we stand against the rest of the world and try our best to be patient and understanding with each other

frozen breach
#

shoulda gorilla glued it to my chin

inland schooner
astral gull
#

if you push hard enough you can grow another

#

trust me im a doctor

inland schooner
frozen breach
astral gull
#

collect dog hairs and glue em on

#

100% infection proof

frozen breach
#

I just tape that plastic grass shit that comes in easter baskets to ur chin and charge ten grand for it

#

most reasonably priced us healthcare

astral gull
#

actual us healthcare

frozen breach
astral gull
#

cat

#

?

frozen breach
#

I'm more allergic to cats than I am to dogs actually

astral gull
#

oh oops

frozen breach
#

I'm just gonna have to wait

astral gull
#

synthetic wig hair ftw

frozen breach
#

truly

astral gull
#

get you a nice wizard beard

frozen breach
#

oh trueee

#

transition goal is evil wizard

inland schooner
#

real asf

astral gull
#

what end goal of anything isnt evil wizard

frozen breach
#

truer words never spoken

astral gull
#

petition for wizard themed mg merch

chrome snow
#

Literally this.

grand current
#

hapy pide moth 🥰

IMG_5270.jpg
inland schooner
#

thank you user walt

stable cradle
#

thanks walt🙏

misty harness
#

my binary trans friends are cool and nice and I'm happy they found an identity that suits them

#

this is not the place to strongly debate queer theory. most ppl here just wanna get by and have a place to relate to each other

unborn atlas
#

Xenofeminism is nuts

unborn atlas
#

theory was a mistake

#

theory will not save us

zinc oriole
#

once I stopped explaining my identity to others I felt better

#

i hate that transness is met with requests for over explanation and hyper analysis instead of innate acceptance

#

ultimately gender is an individual thing, cis or trans. it should be encouraged that everybody explore their gender if they want to and that we dont force anybody to adhere to a standard

#

we need to have each others backs especially right now
when it comes down to it, the minute details of ones gender isnt going to determine safety. we are all grouped together

timid grail
unborn atlas
#

yea it is

spice sphinx
#

Anytime I have an introspective moment about identity it’s never sexuality stuff

#

Maybe it’s because I’ve always had a casual and freeform understanding of it but idk

timid grail
#

i feel u

#

ive always known i’m bisexual my entire life i never really had much of an internal anything about it other than realizing in middle school not everyone would be accepting

#

but even as a child i did understand i had feelings for boys and for girls and i didn’t feel like it was weird or different or anything just normal still do

#

gender is much different

digital geyser
#

as i said earlier for me questioning sexuality let to questioning gender

timid grail
#

i did have my sexuality label change a few times as a younger teen bc being a teenager is like that but yeah

digital geyser
#

like i was always attracted to multiple genders but i never actually identified it as such until i realised i was queer. for both being queer and trans it was kind of a moment of “oh, these labels i’ve heard of could actually be me. oops”

#

like i always saw myself as cishet (i used to be one of those ‘straight’ girls who was like “ewww i wish i didnt have to like men” lmaoiamloling me now being mlm) until i realised “wait a minute” for both of them

final heart
#

feesh was kinda real for this.

spice sphinx
digital geyser
bronze ocean
misty harness
#

idk my sexuality was never in question for me, I was always only into women and that hasn't changed at all. so for me, gender and sexuality are two different things entirely. everyone experiences things differently

astral gull
#

Facts

misty harness
#

theory will always fall apart when trying to create systems for people's behaviors and experiences, it will always be reduced to some sort of projection and be exclusionary

astral gull
#

You said what I could hardly convey

bronze ocean
#

i think a lot of people put the cart before the horse wrt theory where they imagine theory informs reality when its simply an analysis of society

frozen breach
#

cool rat spitting facts

spice sphinx
bronze ocean
#

bwuh

spice sphinx
#

Because that’s the entire point it’s not like this stuff comes out of thin air

bronze ocean
#

ya

spice sphinx
#

Idk the treatment of another trans person as if they’re some external force attacking our precious “labels” by talking about very baseline ideas in queer theory rubs me the wrong way. It reads as so dismissive and petty and mean to treat your peer this way.

bronze ocean
#

real and felt

sturdy trail
#

i feel like banning "debate" of queer theory or "analysis of gender" is just plain historical revisionism because the entire reason we have "gender is a social construct" is queer theory

#

like it's just saying "don't self criticize"

#

like saying something as baseline bare minimum as "non binary people don't owe you androgyny" is queer theory in itself but no we're not allowed to talk about what trans people have written about transness i guess

#

also fedjacketing specific people needs to be taken more seriously and i feel like it can be easily interpreted as against the server's rules

sturdy trail
#

so it feels very double standard-y

sturdy trail
tardy creekBOT
#

@sturdy trail has leveled up! (12 ➜ 13)

levelup.png
zinc oriole
#

I think queer theory is valuable in that it can be used in critical theory applications or analysis; ie media, etc. Critical theory should not serve as parameters for an individual or lgbt groups themselves rather as a critical approach

#

That's how I applied it in my own life and academic career anyways

#

Queer theory is more of a tool rather than a standard

#

There's adjacent theory disciplines like Marxist theory that coincide. It's more of a critical theory comprehension tool than anything?

#

The problem with it at least in my view is that people apply queer theory directly atop queer identity instead of as a learning tool for those who want to learn more about history and what we create based on our societal experiences

#

It's valuable to consider various perspectives in what is around us but applying queer theory directly to people doesn't work because you can't critique a person like they're media

#

Idk if what I'm saying makes sense but I think people have misinterpreted usage of the discipline because in my own experience at school, it wasn't really used in reflection to the community, rather as a tool by the community to assess queerness in relation to experiences in media or otherwise

#

Long ass message sorry

#

Ok tldr; queer theory shouldn't be used in the "every queer person is like this" and it should be applied in seeing how being lgbt affects our interpersonal and social relationships in the world or on a systemic level. More as a tool less as a definitive 'guide' to lgbt people. In what I've read in how it's used, it's a tool used by queer people to analyze the world at large, and not ourselves at large

sturdy trail
sturdy trail
#

we already did it with transvestite

#

and technically people here already do it with people talking about reclaiming slurs

#

also critiquing identity is like what most queer theory mentions at least once like it's not an unusual thing for post structuralists to do

sturdy trail
zinc oriole
#

I wasn't saying you were doing that when I mentioned any of these btw, I was just criticizing how a lot of online infighting goes in relation to queer theory in my statement

#

I should've justified

sturdy trail
bronze ocean
#

thats my guy

sturdy trail
#

so culture

bronze ocean
#

flexes subtly

zinc oriole
#

Guys named guy are the best thing

bronze ocean
sturdy trail
#

dee board

bronze ocean
#

more like the bored!! am i right folks?

#

because.. uhm. the spectacle? like, we're

#

uhm

astral gull
#

Not again

sturdy trail
#

i don't think confronting people on how they handled the situation is bringing up a tedious argument again it's just saying hey this is not cool regardless of what the argument is about

#

if anything it is more productive

feral wind
#

hehe get it

#

cause music

misty harness
sturdy trail
#

this is the thing i'm saying with people immediately assuming i'm talking directly to people and invalidating their individual identities on purpose

#

i literally just said conformity bad

#

i was not talking to one specific person until people thought it was relevant to bring up their personal ancedotes which i wasn't talking about in the first place and in turn implies i don't have similar experiences to them and therefore likening me to an alien or outside force

#

also saying someone is made uncomfortable from people talking about theory i don't really understand

#

also i'm confused why i'm the only one the mods are calling out

misty harness
#

identity is an inherently personal thing so talking about it in the abstract can still be fairly interpreted as a personal affront or invalidation

#

I didn't receive a complaint about anyone else so

sturdy trail
#

idk how i can clarify more that i was talking about it in a systemic way

#

i don't know what else to clarify

misty harness
#

There is nothing to clarify, We all understand that

sturdy trail
#

ok this feels a little hostile now

spice sphinx
misty harness
#

gimme a bit, I'm out rm

spice sphinx
#

Wild

misty harness
sturdy trail
#

i really do not understand why people see me as so threatening to be worthy of message a mod about when people literally were fedjacketing

#

given how fedjacketing is a method to ostracize/socially murder people this feels 😬 grimacing emoji

#

i do not feel welcome in the trans forum !

spice sphinx
#

Inb4 “it was sarcasm/just a joke/not that serious bro”

sturdy trail
#

so true

sturdy trail
#

read book..........

misty harness
#

Please, give me a little time to get home and give a proper response

sturdy trail
#

oke

chrome snow
#

I heard that they are gud

feral wind
#

listen to vision creation newsun

#

or chocolate synthesizer if you want weirder noisey shit

balmy pond
#

Boadrum is really cool
Pop tatari is a lot of fun if u want something punkier

feral wind
#

yea

#

i love super æ

misty harness
# sturdy trail also if someone says they didn't know that then maybe don't treat serious subjec...

ok so. here's my interpretation of all this

Generally speaking, Its fine to discuss theory here and if people engage in that, awesome. the issue is acknowledging that many of the people who chat in this thread are some combination of not caring about theory much, not knowing much about it, or are here to talk on a personal level and not an academic one. the baseline of this channel is very personal, so that's the default way people interpret stuff in here. I think it is on you to recognize that and back off when people start using their personal experiences to disagree with what you're saying.

In other words, this isn't the most conducive place to hold an in depth debate on theory, and I think it is on you to recognize what level of understanding of not just the theory but also how to separate systemic vs personal discussions other people are on and adapt to that. Saying "read book" is a great way to make people not give a shit about theory, generally speaking.

To reiterate, talking theory is totally fine. It's the fact that some people felt that you were talking down on others and invalidating their personal experience that is an issue.

as for the fedjacketing, you were talking to people who had just come across that concept. let's be real, this is the machine girl server. no one thinks you're actually a fed. from my perspective, i can see how in referencing jargon and theory while dragging a discussion on for a long time may have reminded them of the image that someone else posted recently. So no, it actually isnt that deep. For people who are more invested in theory and activism, I understand how this can make you uncomfortable too though, and I'd really prefer for people to not accuse others of fedjacketing even as a joke when more serious discussions are happening. It's one of those things that outsiders don't recognize is a real, serious issue.

#

Tl;dr, theory is fine to discuss but acknowledge that this channel isnt usually about that and most people won't really understand what you're talking about and want to connect on a personal level

sturdy trail
#

i wasn't explicitly trying to debatebro about theory i was just elaborating on my reasoning when questioned

misty harness
#

I understand, i think all this is just a lack of acknowledgment on both sides that y'all were talking kind of on different levels and messaging wasn't coming across as intended

sturdy trail
#

again i don't know how to clarify further than i already did while it was happening that i wasn't talking about personal things and i am of the opinion that people should focus on systemic issues just as much which people here have technically talked about here before as with conservatives' focus on children and how that relates to youth liberation

#

honestly i think that conversation about children had just as verbose words as what i said

#

i'm not going to dumb down things for people because i'm not a condescending person

misty harness
#

I'm not asking you to "dumb things down", it's actually more condescending to try and force other people who aren't experienced or knowledgeable about these things into semantic argumenta

#

That said,

#

I have to go do more irl stuff

#

As far as I'm concerned, this is not a debate. I am asking you to try and connect with people on their level. You won't convince anyone of your arguments by forcing them into your semantics. If you want to convince people, you need to adapt your points to their language

sturdy trail
#

i said it's conforming and people said conforming isn't a necessarily negative word we're using it in a positive way !!! and when i said that's not how it works people accused me of being pedantic and semantical

#

so i feel like the "semantic" thing is kinda weird

#

also stop accusing me of being a debatebro

misty harness
#

I never called you a debatebro

sturdy trail
#

for the fedjacketing stuff just because people can't name a concept doesn't mean they're not perpetuating the same ostracization of people within spaces like this

sturdy trail
#

what i said in the first place was just challenging the existent dominant framework like how we talked about earlier how the "born this way" stuff is outdated i don't see the difference

misty harness
sturdy trail
#

using the born this way thing as an example i can see how someone could see that as a personal attack because there are some queer people who see themselves as born genetically queer or something but it didn't happen then it only happened now which is confusing to me

misty harness
sturdy trail
#

i don't see how me "doubling down on it" is worse than them flinging insults and fedjacketing

misty harness
#

I really need to go now, so I'm considering this discussion closed.

sturdy trail
#

okaye

chrome snow
#

I'm going to listen to the boredoms now.

astral gull
#

Any of yall like destroy boys?

#

Not necessarily relevant to the forum but why not

chrome snow
#

Wots that

astral gull
#

Its a band

#

They're very cool

#

I reccomend American River or crybaby as a first song :)

balmy pond
#

I know all of like one song but theyre pretry sick

astral gull
#

Is it that one I threw glass in my friends eye and now im on probation ?

#

The rest of their work is so good

balmy pond
#

Yeh

valid sun
#

hello transdome

#

this isnt super important idk if anyone knows the answer to thus

#

but im 17 ive been on T for 4 years

#

since i was 14

#

and my voice is like causing some distresss

#

cause its like not fem/female but it sounds very pubescent

#

im expecting it to be able to drop more until maybe like age 22?? 21???

#

am i correct in thinking this???

#

i think its gotten deeper the past few months but its like

#

hard to gauge this cause all my references are people who started at 17-18 or as older adults

#

and i am the youngest in my group of people to be on HRT

#

but its like a little frustrating cause ive been fine w/ myself until recently cause i sound 15 when im about to be 18 and also like everything happening in america ever thanks Texas

#

i just wanna know if its reasonable to expect it to drop lower as inage

#

i age*

spice sphinx
austere jay
austere jay
#

better bands from the same genre out there imo

spice sphinx
#

Yeah

valid sun
zinc oriole
spice sphinx
#

Riotgrrl is great and all but destroy boys has this feel to it idk

zinc oriole
#

I started t at 18 and my voice is still going through changes as I get older

zinc oriole
austere jay
#

and once again regarding debating theory, i don’t think theory itself is the problem i just think it’s important to recognize that theory doesn’t play the same exact role in everyone’s lives, so it’s not going to hold the same amount of weight in everyone lives and that’s alright, i created this forum as a little positive zone for trans people in here cuz i know a lot of us are trans, and i don’t want it to ever get hostile or anger inducing for anyone. let’s just try our best to have grace with everyone here please and thank you

austere jay
#

voice training for me has been really important to help my “new” voice settle in better

#

if that makes sense

valid sun
#

yeah i think i understand

#

i should lol but it get frustrating easily (autism yay)

#

and it's not really like i get misgendered

#

i dont really and if i do its cause of my hair

#

but like yknow i should probably at least try it out

#

idk where to start tbh

#

is it fine if i send a voice message

austere jay
#

i never got super into it tbh, i just try my best to speak from lower in my body if that makes sense

valid sun
#

right

austere jay
#

chest or stomach vs throat

valid sun
#

ive been projecting my voice and it helps a little

austere jay
zinc oriole
#

It helps to practice stomach breathing (that isnt the word for it lol) to find where to speak from if that makes sense

valid sun
zinc oriole
#

Like your stomach only moves up and down when u breathe and you speak from that like Vinny said

valid sun
#

right

austere jay
#

hrrmmmmmm

valid sun
#

people always say widen your throat but i find that i do it too aggressively

#

so i just hurt my throa5 lol

zinc oriole
#

Your voice is masc, you just sound young imo. I think it's definitely going to change over time
Cadence definitely helps too but that's harder than speaking deeper imo

austere jay
#

best advice i have is just try your best to insert little voice training bits in your speech here and there to creat habits

#

and i agree lol you just sound a little young, it’s most definitely going to improve with age imo

valid sun
#

okay thank you guys i appreciate the tips

#

that was my general conclusion is that it doesnt sound fem or female just pubescent

#

like ill be 18 in 4 months i wanna sound like an 18 y/o guy but i need to be patient and also work on dictation maybe 😭!!!

austere jay
#

i’ll send a little voice message with how my voice sounds at nearly 8 months on t at 19, it also might just be genetics yknow

valid sun
#

that would be greatly appreciated

austere jay
zinc oriole
#

If you'd like I can also send my voice since I'll be 22

#

If it's a frame of reference

valid sun
#

i would also appreciate that

zinc oriole
#

VINNY YOUR VOICE IS AWESOME

valid sun
# austere jay

my friend whos 19 and on T sounds like you but more nasally and thats like reassuring also i really love ur voice

zinc oriole
austere jay
#

thank you guys : ) but in my example here remember my family historically has lower speaking male voices

valid sun
zinc oriole
#

I can speak lower but I have to consciously do it

#

Plus gay dude cadence is fun lol

valid sun
#

see like thats how i feel LOL

#

my issue is that i am adopted so i have no idea what my dad sounds like

#

(adopted at birth, never met either bio parents)

zinc oriole
#

My dad and grandpa have very deep voices and I can make mine go very deep but it's tiring

valid sun
#

im related to my mom right now but like that also doesnt help

valid sun
austere jay
#

cadence is also such a personal thing like some part of that is difficult to change because simply put you just talk like that

valid sun
#

right

austere jay
#

if it makes you feel any better milo like all of my male friends save a few sound like babies at like 20

valid sun
#

i wonder if mine will be different by my early 20s because my first puberty didnt fully develop due to me being on T so early plus puberty blockers until i was 10 (separate reason; early onset)

austere jay
valid sun
valid sun
frozen breach
valid sun
#

obvs not everything will change or has changed

stable cradle
#

y’all have such good voices just to add on

austere jay
valid sun
zinc oriole
frozen breach
zinc oriole
frozen breach
valid sun
frozen breach
#

I sometimes forget that cis people also perform gender

stable cradle
#

but yeah big genetic thing!! im not on t yet and I have a deeper voice than most afab ppl just thru genetics I guess, very curious how my voice will sound on t

valid sun
frozen breach
stable cradle
frozen breach
valid sun
#

My mind is blown

#

Have fun

frozen breach
stable cradle
#

my voice will be pure bass

austere jay
#

i feel like t also just takes a certain tone off of your voice that helps separate it from feminine if that makes any sense

valid sun
#

yes i know what u mean

#

i just sound gay

#

i sound like my boss in a sense (52 year old gay man)

#

"my boss" hes like not really my boss but kind of

zinc oriole
bronze ocean
#

tbf like voice changes in general both like taking t and like, amab puberty its really random how fast and how deep ur voice drops

#

cuz its also a physical change n such

frozen breach
valid sun
#

which is like now its just omg when will i get xyz

#

cause i did my shot one day and then my mustache thickened overnight visibly its insanw

valid sun
# frozen breach

i like your voice tons too u sound like a guy i knew 2 years ago

stable cradle
#

my vernacular when i’m talking likes to enter that frat boy vibe so that helps passing I think lol

frozen breach
bronze ocean
#

like for me personally i was very high t before hrt and my voice dropped very quick and relatively early so ig theres probably also some aspect of t dose

stable cradle
#

yaaa dysphoria plays a big part too in like. how u hear urself

valid sun
#

lol sadly

bronze ocean
#

obv endogenous vs exogenous have some difference but you are still essentially replicating puberty effects

zinc oriole
#

I feel like I sound too feminine sometimes but people just assume I'm a gay guy so it helps in a way

stable cradle
#

u r ur biggest critic etc

frozen breach
zinc oriole
#

Pre t my voice was very high and also discord speakers make my voice sound weird so it's scary

frozen breach
#

I get jumpscared by voice recordings of myself because in my head my voice is so much higher than it actually is

valid sun
#

i dont know my T levels atm but i get my blood drawn every 3 months and they say its normal for my transition (in "the boy range") so

valid sun
frozen breach
#

dysphoria brain pitching up my voice hyperpop style