why am i like this?

[stoic sparrow]

hello, for some reason, i ALWAYS try to think what others are doing, like i always wish they are doing something non social . like i ask my friends "wyd" and always hope its smth like "watching a movie", "playing an offline game" and not "playing w friends" or "going out w friends"

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[dusty sparrow]

Fomo?

[stoic sparrow]

maybe, i wasnt like this a few months ago

what can i do to make it better?

[dusty sparrow]

Have you been going out less than normal?

[untold merlin]

Maybe focus on yourself more rather than other people. If it really itches to ask maybe go out and stuff

Or watch a movie

Thats usually what i do to distract myself from asking too

[stoic sparrow]

maybe, i went swimming w my buddies a few days ago

thing is

i go out w a lot of friend groups

[untold merlin]

Just distract yourself from asking your friends

Or maybe assume

That "oh hes out w friends"

[stoic sparrow]

its not that easy bro, i try to do it but i find no purpose in what i do

[dusty sparrow]

Are you struggling to balance that?

[stoic sparrow]

kind of, i feel like an npc that lotta ppl like but would never put above anyone elkse

[dusty sparrow]

Maybe going out with so many different groups individually is making it harder for you to feel like you're connected to them

[stoic sparrow]

thats somehow worse, i feel like "i know this guy, why didnt he invite me"

[dusty sparrow]

At the same time you also don't need to be everybody's best friends, it's OK to have friendships that are more casual

[stoic sparrow]

i have a very close group but they dont seem to go hang out anymore, like they are usually unbothered

[stoic sparrow]

i know, but i dont have anyone who would ALWAYS include me

[dusty sparrow]

How long has that been going on for?

[stoic sparrow]

we last met a month ago, but now they have left the country(school over, time for college)

[dusty sparrow]

I'm sorry, transitional phases like that can be difficult

[dusty sparrow]

Why does that bother you so much?

[stoic sparrow]

i have no idea, just a year ago, i loved being on my own, played around 70 single player games and enjoyued everytime

but then

one of my friend started comparing how hes played more games than me, so i tried to win over him and started playing games just so i can win over him

we had that competetion built up on who plays more games, so whenever i did smth, i did it so i would win over him, but now he doesnt bother the competion anymore and its hard to do stuff that dont have that kind of importance

lol i sound so weird and confusing

[dusty sparrow]

Find other stuff that feels important

Do you have hobbies apart from gaming?

[stoic sparrow]

i liked coding and watching web series

but rn, there is no good web series i think i can watch

[dusty sparrow]

Would you try coding again?

[stoic sparrow]

yeah i wanmt to, but i have no idea what to build or code

i think i have a deadly combo of adhd, fomo

also, i sometimes try to stalk my friends(not in bad way), like i will check what they have messaged in differenbt servers and what they have posted on reddit

idk why but i just want to know what THEY are doing normally

[dusty sparrow]

Why do you feel like you need to know what they're doing?

[dusty sparrow]

Anything

[stoic sparrow]

so i feel like i am not the only one doing "unimportant things" , like redditing and discording on public servers

[dusty sparrow]

I mean everyone does stuff like that depending on what social media you use

[stoic sparrow]

i also regulartly ask my friends for their instagram screentime, in hopes that they have more screen time than me

[stoic sparrow]

yeah, i didnt care a few months back, but now all of a sudden its like super imp to me,

[dusty sparrow]

I mean everyone does those “unimportant things”

[stoic sparrow]

i just think that those guys have better/more social interactionm thasn me

[dusty sparrow]

checking what your friends do on social media won't make you feel any better about that

[stoic sparrow]

yeah, but what do i do about it ? i dont go to school or any clubs to just start up a convo and make new friends

[dusty sparrow]

could you try on 1 of your friend groups more than the others? Is there any particular 1 that you like hanging out with more than the others

[stoic sparrow]

yeah actually, i do chat w them a lot(most) but idk why i still feel empty and fomo

also, sometimes i just want ppl to notice me, like once my friends made a weird sticker of me, anybody else would have disliked it, but i lowk lkiked it, i thought aatleast they remember me enough to make a funny sticker of me