tired

[cinder silo]

I am so tired.I hate how my family keeps forcing me to do things.They have never cared about my opinions.They have never loved me.
All my childhood I was ignored,neglected.I grew up in a household that didnt know what love was.
I have become so desperate for love.And not just for romantic love but platonic love from my friends too .Anyone who offers me even a tiny bit of love I pour all my heart into loving them.I feel like a beggar who when offered even 1%love latches onto it like a mad person.I hate how it is.I try to detach myself from everyone,from my friends but I fail to do so.
In times like these god becomes my only way of escapism.It feels like god is the only family I have.
But I am tired,and God must be tired of me too.I am tired of living on rules my family has made.

[tight tendon]

I fell the same way except I did actually detach but from evrione now I can't fell love and need to rely on logic yes it works perfectly but it doesn't replace the love. Over some time I managed to get over it and over practically anything.
I mean this is server made for this maybe talk with the listeners they are nice from what I heard. And don't worry evne if it's not famili somone will definitely like you.

[cinder silo]

I hope someone likes me too

[tight tendon]

I'm Shure else somone does too

[calm pond]

God is never tired of you. it must be extremely hard. But you have to have hope that you’ll meet people that can show you the love that you were supposed to get from the moment you entered this life. But also! Don’t forget to love yourself! That’s one of the most important things is recognizing you are deserving of life and learning how to give that to yourself ❤️

[cinder silo]

Thank you for your words!

[tight tendon]

I hope your ok!

[cinder silo]

i am doing fine if not the best
Than k you for asking< 3

[mystic flicker]

Hey, even I suffer it from this too, but I have added a few principles for myself and it might be a bit selfish as my friend said, and also It is really up to you whether you wanna trust my advice or not.

I don't want you to be a saint or not anything

But sometimes even when it feels painful

You have to harden yourself

You have to be prepared that you are going to be alone during very difficult and vulnerable times.

It is not like everyone hates you

or won't help you with anything

But at the same time, as you pour too much love into a person, you might expect him/her to give you as much attention and even help too, (that is what I assume, you can correct me if you want)

But you have to be modest too when it comes to love and care

[uncut juniper]

Keep fighting twin, good days will come. Don't stop fighting. It may be tiring but believe me it will be all worth it. Just don't surrender.

[mystic flicker]

You have to know that there will be only very few people who will love you a lot and care about you a lot, and whoever offers you help at any level and care about you at any level, you have to appreciate it, but also expect that the person most of the time won't give much more care or love and you cannot be attached to him/her, because you will risk to have one-sided relationships with them

I have a problem with being possessive

Not that much but it is just

Possessive thoughts

[cinder silo]

Yes, I do also think like this
Everything you are saying just makes so much sense to me

[cinder silo]

I will keep this in mind
Thank you : )

[cinder silo]

Thank you for your encouragement
I will keep fighting

[mystic flicker]

Hey mate, can we be friends if you want

I also pretty much feel that same