lucid compass
So, I met this girl, Ailany, about 8 years ago. I was around 6 when I first met her. Back then, my family was going through a lot. My parents argued constantly, and I felt like I had to protect my little brother from everything happening around us. Because of that, I ended up seeing and hearing things a kid my age should never deal with. During all of that, Ailany was the only person who was really there for me.
We became really close over the years. She told me she liked me, and she would say things that made me feel like I was the “right one” for her, even if she never said it directly. I never wanted something fake or rushed with her.
Everything changed when I moved away because of problems with my father. After that, we slowly stopped talking. In December 2025, I confessed my feelings to her through a message. She told me she wasn’t looking for a relationship, that we were still too young, and that I shouldn’t overthink it. I accepted it, even if it hurt.
A few months later, my mom told me we were moving back to the same place where I first met Ailany, and where she still lives now. Since then, I haven’t stopped thinking about her. I even started going to the gym and taking better care of myself because part of me wants to become better before seeing her again.
Today, while going to the gym a different way, I saw a girl who looked exactly like her. She looked sad, and seeing her so close to another guy hurt me in a way I can’t explain.
The worst part is that I can’t fully feel sadness anymore. It’s like my emotions became numb after years of dealing with everything alone. I know I’m young, but I’ve carried this alone for years, and honestly, I’m tired of feeling alone.
kind zephyr