Where is my Thank You?

[raven tundra]

I feel like all my efforts are just thrown away and not seen. I help everybody especially my friends the most whenever they need, except I just feel like i don’t see the appreciation i search for. It’s starting to become so usual, im so emotionally sensitive hearing other people get praised and complimented, seeing other people getting good things happen in their life. I know other people have bugger problems than me, but I just want somebody to appreciate and see my efforts. I would do anything for my friends and loved ones, but i don’t know if they’d say and do the same. I feel so selfless, im surrounded by lovely people and they love me, but feel lonely. I like to be alone, i think about all the things in the world except its the only time j express and think about how i feel. I keep myself together, i try to be happy for everyone to not worry and reassure me. I don’t really like reassurance, i dont know why i dont like when people ask how i am.

Journaling has been my only therapy.

[spark jetty]

You help the wrong people it seems.

[raven tundra]

i'm friends with amazing and wonderful people, they are really great friends, it's just I don't understand why they can't see how much I'd do for them. after all, if I tell them about how much im struggling and "depressed", they wont really care. i guess they'd be surprised, but not like genuinely therapy comfort level