drowsy sleet
I feel like I do struggle with my mental health sometimes. I can't sleep due to anxious thoughts running in my head every time I lie in bed, I overthink so incredibly much when it comes to how people think of me, or when it comes to a slight issue or something that isn't even an issue, I used to cope un very unhealthy ways but stopped, it's been 4 years, I think almost 5 since I stopped.
I have a good friend that I go to to talk about the problems I'm facing now, and she is always so sweet and supports me and helps me, she is my closest friend. But she goes through so much worse. She struggles with anxiety and depression (undiagnosed, but the signs are unfortunately, and terribly there), and whenever I open up, I feel like my problems are not worth solving when she struggles so much.
The point is, when I did bad stuff to myself, I didn't do it out of my own discovery, I did it so an old friend wouldn't feel alone. In fact my whole childhood was me not being myself because I didn't want people to feel alone.And now I'm venting to my current best friend as if it's the end of the world, and I don't even deserve to do that because I don't have the right. I don't have enough excuses to be talking like that. I thought I had anxiety for quite a while now, but do I get a say in that?It's a professional who can say if I do or don't. Hence, I can't act as if I do have anxiety. But what if I do? But again, what if I don't.
Yesterday, I was scrolling late at night (one of the many reasons I get really anxious before sleeping) and I got extremely stressed about the new virus everyone is talking about, and about not wanting to die because of it, so I talked to my friend. She gives personal examples, and I don't mind that at all. In fact, I tell her to give them. But the ones she shared yesterday were way worse than what I was experiencing. So I'm reading them and realizing I shouldn't even be talking at all. I should be coming to her for REAL help. I don't deserve her help.
woven mason