I yap about random stuff:D, I will put photos of things I found while walking to my house from my stop, put memes, and random stuff:3
#Ma Journal:3
flat rapids
Hello! This is a place of mine that I can finally say that's in my mind, there's a lot of things that happened in my life so finally I can say my opinion without people correcting me or just overtalking me:3
and feel free to give me advice for some problems that I'm dealing with:3
flat rapids
Right now, I don't know how to feel, my "friend" for 2yrs told me that they didn't want me to be friends w/ them and honestly, I felt sad but relieved. When they had their break up with their bf, things had changed. They turned gay (btw I RESPECT ppl who are different genders than me), they changed their hair, they acted differently. Just everything changed and it wasn't really great changes. We started to have problems more than usual and they would fight with me for the tinyest things. I got really bad that at one point I || wanted to k!11 m7self|| so that's how bad they went. I never told them abt how I felt because I knew they wouldn't care. They told me that I couldn't feel how they were feeling and that made something snap from the inside of me. My gut told me that they really didn't care about me and they called me "nerd" because I studied a lot (My mom likes my grades to be great) and because I just study random things around me because I'm bored:) and just because I like anime/manga. One time when we were fighting she called me "heartless" because I couldn't understand her.
sorry for the long story
so
flat rapids
today was like usual, except when I talked to them, they looked at me if they were angry at me so I didn't know why. I don't have them for 2nd period but I have them for 3rd period which was math, the teacher told us to get in partners or we could work alone, they told me that they want to work with me but I said no because whenever I had to do partner work, they would ALWAYS come for me so I wanted a break. They got mad but they had another friend to work with which was fine to me. Now at this part, I pretty sure they got angry at me because now my guy friend came over me to be partners, my og idea was to work alone but I decided to work w/ him since his friend are all together so I said yes. Everything happened until study hall, Idk why study hall for ONE DAY to be in the lunchroom;) their table was near the one I was sitting on and I'm guessing that they just got jealous because my table, we were having fun, laughing and drawing together. I think the worst part was that my guy friend during math was sitting next to me
. Later gym came and the entire class had to go to the other gym and we were watching the game. Later, they sat infront of me and her other friend next to her, 10mins in the game and her friend told me that "They don't want to be friends with you" so I said AND I QUOTE "ok" 
but whenever I'm hurt or surprised, I just say a simple response.
Now I'm sorry if this sounds so messed up but they started to cry and their other friend was like "It's alright", I lowkey wanted to laugh because you just told me to not be friends with you but now your crying? Idk why I wanted to but during this time I knew why she was crying but idk why I wanted to laugh, even for me it sounded so mean to laugh for smth like that
. So idk what's going to happaned for the rest of the year so what I'm going to do is
-focus on my grades
-spend time with my friend group
-try not to be in any problems or drama