I cant forget about her past

[thick wigeon]

it started when my friend told me her lore I found out that she lied about me being all of her firsts I know it sounds light but we got together like js months after her bf cheated on her I found out that they frenched kissed already fckedrecorded and everything sucked his dck recorded also and when we were talking there was a point where she siad she really missed her exs dckbro when I found about it my shit broke bro I cried about it for weeks straight I ofund out about it like 6 months ago now I js cry about it days straight so I dont really know what to do do I talk to her or I js force myself to forget about it or what and js tell me what more information u guys need to understand this better I think I delivered it so bad

[eager otter]

You’re better than her . She is a ho

[thick wigeon]

how come

[thick wigeon]

how bro

meant to reply

to ur message

[eager otter]

Wdym . She is bop material

You’re better than this and deserve someone who is better

[thick wigeon]

how is she bop material

her and her ex was her first

body

[eager otter]

Because she is a minor ofc it’s her first but who in the right mind records that

It’s a pattern

For disaster

[thick wigeon]

idek if they wanted to record it

but they did

[eager otter]

You’re not even supposed to do it at that age . I suppose you’re an atheist because usually it’s for marriage

[thick wigeon]

yeah im kinda regretting it

[eager otter]

Imagine she was your wife saying I miss his di hh

Like that’s crazy

[thick wigeon]

when she said that we werent anything yet

js talking

[eager otter]

Still that’s lust based thoughts .

[thick wigeon]

damn

true

[eager otter]

Unless your Johny it wouldn’t work out

Sins

[eager otter]

Consider yourself lucky and I bet there is someone more quality than her

[thick wigeon]

so their relationship was js lust

it was probably driven by the dude

she was 14 at that time and the dude was 15 or 16 idk

hes fucked more than 3

people saw his hidden

and they saw videos

and the dude cheated by doing video calls with other girls with masturbating

and shit

[eager otter]

Wtf

Dude is weird asf

[thick wigeon]

yeah

[eager otter]

Why did people consent to doing that

[thick wigeon]

I hate that she fell for his fake genuine acts

[thick wigeon]

what people

the girls

or what

probably some freaky community

[eager otter]

Yes what did he do

[thick wigeon]

it was freaky girls in threads

I cant leave her now

I keep remembering that she personally wanted to make shit work with me

and she is gonan change form e

she didnt want me to find out about her past because she thought I would stop talking to her

if I knew sooner

I probably wouldve

now basically her whole family knows me

they described their relationship was the first week he was fine the second he got all touchy and she liked it and it js escalated

@eager otter whats ur advise

<@&1483139848717209705> need advises

[mellow root]

Seems like a girl whos being manipulative if I'm reading this right?

Ok after reading a bit, just leave her alone, start something fresh, cut things off with her.

[thick wigeon]

hows that manipulatvive

[thick wigeon]

how come

our relationship is honestly good

its just me remembering her past

[mellow root]

I didn't read that right.

[mellow root]

If the past is gonna set you off so much then that'd be your best option.

Like speaking from myself if I was in this situation.

[thick wigeon]

its been months

and its meaning less and less to me

[thick wigeon]

since I found out

if it becomes too much to me

too much affects on me

I js might

leave her for the better

[mellow root]

If you feel thats the right way brotha then go for it.

[thick wigeon]

idk how ill leave her

[drifting goblet]

A lot of people go through this, it's called retroactive jealousy. You cannot control or supress it, you can only ignore it.

What matters is how she is with you, now, at the present, is she good to you? And how you feel about it?

I will tell you this right now that it won't go away, at least, not fully. In 10 years, if you're still with her, you'll still be thinking about this. So the question is, can you cope with it?

[thick wigeon]

shes really good to me honestly I love her so much my chest breaks whenever I remember it bro

ive been coping

for months

[drifting goblet]

I'm somewhat in the same boat brother. I chose not to pursue any more information, I know that if I know more, I'll get hurt, but what's important for me is how she is treating me, is she cheating, does she disrespect me?

It's all about boundaries. Once again, I'll tell you that this shit won't go away. So you have to make your own boundary, can you accept that she had a past or not? If the question is a clear no, then you'll have your answer too for your next relationship -> "I will not date someone who had a sexual past"

[thick wigeon]

really hard accepting that she had a past like that but ill handle it

[drifting goblet]

You can't change the past, what's happened already happened. At least she's not fucking him again behind your back, and it's not like she's had 10 other dudes too.

What she said was before you and her had anything, now if it's clear that she loves you very much, and that's the important thing to you? Then don't ruin it

[thick wigeon]

js hurts bro

[thick wigeon]

im trying

if she does some shit probably ill js leave for better her past been fucking me cant have more

[drifting goblet]

Yes, know ur worth brother, if you still want to stay with her, you're taking a path that shows you don't care about that shit and you won't take shit from her. If she does you wrong, don't beg or stay, you will be better

[thick wigeon]

yeah

thank u man

[eager otter]

Did she know abt the guys past . If she knew how freaky this guy was and continued it’s a lost cause

[snow frigate]

Don’t use that word my friend

You bypassed automod too by saying it that way

[eager otter]

If I use the scientific term is that allowed ?

[snow frigate]

No

[eager otter]

Someone’s past can tell you a lot about the future

[thick wigeon]

thats what I dont know

and dont wanna know

because idk anymore

but probably not

[eager otter]

I’m saying this because do you want to waste 2 more years and then it all goes down hill ? I’m not saying it’s going to happen but are you ready

[thick wigeon]

okay ill try to get information

[eager otter]

She can just outright lie tbh

[thick wigeon]

shes not the one telling me

[thick wigeon]

she wasnt even the one that told me about her past

and she doesnt knwo that I know about it

[eager otter]

Ah okay yeah then it’s good

[thick wigeon]

idk what to even do with the information I have

talk to her or what

it was probably driven by the guy

recording and shit

she doesnt even have it

and it was her first time

didnt know shit prob

[eager otter]

You’re brain is making excuses . Did she willingly do it or was 🍇 or manipulated ?

[thick wigeon]

idk shit yet

but most likely manipulated man

the dudes weird

[eager otter]

Yeah get to the bottom of it . He is weird

[thick wigeon]

my dudes asleep

so probably getting shit tmr

thanks for the help

ill get back tmr

[thick wigeon]

he vapes he smokes cigs

obviously hes weird

everyones fucking weird

fuck this place man

but im gonna head to bed

[thick wigeon]

@eager otter she didnt know

[eager otter]

Okay then it’s all good . If your relationship with her is good and she has no red flags doesn’t do anything bad then I don’t think you should worry too much abt the past

[thick wigeon]

yeah my minds js fucking me so hard

making me overthink so much shit

[abstract crystal]

It sounds like you should talk to her about how you feel. And if she can't reassure you like how you'd reassure her she ain't shit and you should leave her.

[abstract crystal]

Me personally as a guy who is a virgin I'm not settling for a girl less than a virgin as much as I am. But that's me personally.

[eager otter]

Tbh I would only do it for kids purposes other than that no way .

I think it’s values based

[thick wigeon]

I did settle for her because I thought she was a virgin too

I was lied to

I thought it was our firsts

[thick wigeon]

idk man

im oaky now

I dont wanna ruin what we have rn

shes treating me so good

[abstract crystal]

🤣🤣🤣

Oh brother

That might only be for a moment

Be prepared for her to switch up

[thick wigeon]

fr bro

[abstract crystal]

And PAY ATTENTION

When she does switch up leave

Don't get further attached

[thick wigeon]

I will bro

[abstract crystal]

That can be a really bad cycle 😭

You might get the thought of "She was treating me so good and no girl has done that yet so surely she's the one"

But nah man

Consistency is everything 💯

She can't love bomb you one day then switch up the next

[thick wigeon]

no genuinely good bro

genuine shit

[abstract crystal]

People can have good behavior for a stretch and then do something to hurt you then be good again for another stretch then hurt you again

It's how you get trauma bonded

[thick wigeon]

oh hell no

[abstract crystal]

So just be careful lol

[thick wigeon]

I know that cycle

been there

[abstract crystal]

It's only been how long now?

That yall been together?

[thick wigeon]

since december

we started talking

october

[eager otter]

I didn’t know love bombing is treating someone good . I thought it was bad

[thick wigeon]

she made me meet her whole family

I got interviewed and shit bro

everything

she personally wanted me and her to workout

[abstract crystal]

Love Bombing is saying things like "You're my world" and "I'll never leave you" and "You're the handsomest in the world" etc etc

Sadly mostly lies

But things that sound good enough to stroke your ego

[abstract crystal]

Interesting though. It would be a brand new story for her whole family to be in on tricking you into marrying a bop.

Typically bops hide you from their family and friends.

SECRECY AND MYSTERIOUSNESS IS A RED FLAG

Never fuck with mysterious bitches they are the worst lol

[eager otter]

They know she won’t have another chance at this bop history

[eager otter]

Damm that’s lowkey cringe tho . @thick wigeon does she love bomb you or not ?

[thick wigeon]

ur sayingshes using her family

[thick wigeon]

nah she dont

[thick wigeon]

they are bro

been with one

[thick wigeon]

no

shes consistent

with treating me good

[abstract crystal]

I'm saying it's unlikely it a low probability I've never heard anything like it.

[thick wigeon]

why r u guys saying shes a bop tho

[abstract crystal]

Typically the family is NOT involved.

[thick wigeon]

she frequently tells her family stories about me and her

shit like that

[abstract crystal]

Cause of what you said in the beginning

[thick wigeon]

and her titas personally wanted to see me

[thick wigeon]

I guess

[abstract crystal]

"Fckrecorded" and "scked his dck recorded" and "there was a point where she said she really missed her ex's dck"

We only picking up context clues man

Girls with exs is sadly dangerous territory especially now days

A girl's past says a lot about who she is and a lot of people will disagree and call it "mysoginistic"

But people don't get jobs without giving up they criminal record do they?

Treat your life the same way. Don't just let anyone in cause it can cost you. You gotta value yourself and protect yourself.

[last anvil]

she ain't wife material my bro talking abt missing another mans yk I think you need to let this one go

[eager otter]

That can mean a lot of things . Wdym by treating you good?

[eager otter]

Especially missing her ex part is concerning

[snow frigate]

Hey, small tip for the future, try not to bypass the automod alright? Much appreciated

[abstract crystal]

I wasnt bypassing anything I was quoting

But yea sure

[snow frigate]

You did bypass two words

[abstract crystal]

If you read the original, you'd see I was quoting 😭😂 are you dyslexic? If so yk no discrimination that's fine, just be aware that you may not always be right

[thick wigeon]

generally bro she respects me and all

[thick wigeon]

man idek either bro

[thick wigeon]

im 15

im honestly not thinking that were gonna last until marriage

[last anvil]

what’s the point of dating her if deep down you know it won’t last

[drifting zodiac]

@thick wigeon

I say best to break up

If u would like to hear my reasoning on why i think its the best choice

[thick wigeon]

maybe a few years

who knows

[thick wigeon]

sure

u guys r such a big help

thank u all honestly

I cant leave her tho

wake me up if I sound stupid as fuck rn

[snow frigate]

That question was rude… like I understand you were quoting but still

They shouldn’t bypass either

[abstract crystal]

Keep it pushing youngster, I'm surprised they even let you be a mod like what??? a minor with a lack of social awareness?😭

They ought to replace you for me negl 😭 problem is I just got a problematic busy life

I'm like batman city always calling lol

[abstract crystal]

Just BE CAREFUL

Keep your eyes open champ

Other than that you're green

[civic plover]

Do you have an issue with our staff?

.r swearing

[small delta]

Behavior Reminder

Do not bypass our swearing filters.

Because there are minors in this server, keep language appropriate. Only light-swearing is allowed. Therefore, typing abbreviations or bypassing swearing is not allowed.

Command | .remind swearing

[civic plover]

.r r 9

[small delta]

Rules Reminder

Rule 9 — Keep mature topics SFW (safe-for-work) & sensible.

Mature topics (drugs, alchohol, sex, etc.) are allowed in the context of support and advice but should be discussed in a sensible and mature manner.

Command | .remind rule

[abstract crystal]

Should be discussed in a sensible and mature manner 👀

[civic plover]

I'll take over on his behalf. Don't bypass our filter please and thank you. It's in place for a reason. And keep things SFW please. We're strictly SFW server.

[abstract crystal]

OP came and he was distraught

Not playing around truly going through it

[civic plover]

That includes not detailing or being graphic about NSFW topics

Heli was simply asking you nicely to avoid bypassing. Keep it respectful towards everyone please.

.r r 2

[small delta]

Rules Reminder

Rule 2 — Be respectful and mature. Trolling is forbidden.

Rude behavior will not be tolerated. Keep conversations respectful for everyone.

Command | .remind rule

[abstract crystal]

I find that a little strange that he can't just be real about what he's going through cause the details that were explained played a huge role HUGE, sometimes tough things gotta be talked about it's LIFE.

[civic plover]

When joining TTC, the rules were stated upfront. I understand that maybe you're upset or frustrated but this is a big server and it should remain a safe space for everyone. That means including minors. Things should be SFW. You can talk freely about such topics in adult chat which you can access using #adult-info

[abstract crystal]

But yes I may have stepped a little out of line out of annoyance cause I was being accused of breaking some rule when I was just helping a guy out

And I've already cussed in this chat I didn't NEED to bypass anything 😭

I was simply quoting

But even then I still don't think OP broke the rules

[civic plover]

And again, there was no need to be rude to Heli either. You can still express your opinion respectfully.

[abstract crystal]

BTW OP is a minor going through these things, it ain't exclusive to adults

15 yr old btw

[civic plover]

Heli just simply asked to avoid bypassing next time. You're not in trouble don't worry

[tough sandal]

We understand that and the frustrations that may come with that, but for the safety of everyone we can’t allow that as a discord partnered server.

[abstract crystal]

You can try to police the server that's cool but it gets to a point you can't police LIFE

If for an example someone (a minor) got touched without their consent they can't get support cause it's NSFW?😭 they may not add EVERY single detail but maybe words exchanged like OP did.

[tough sandal]

The problem is that the words were directly bypassing our Automod. In the future i don’t believe we need direct quotes but instead could maybe be said like “they said NSFW things to me” or “they used adult language that was not appropriate for me”. There are other ways but that’s the first 2 that came to mind.

[abstract crystal]

Yall gotta fix yall auto mod them cause I said the f word straight up and it ain't get blocked BUT still and:

Rule 9 — Keep mature topics SFW (safe-for-work) & sensible.

Mature topics (drugs, alchohol, sex, etc.) are allowed in the context of support and advice but should be discussed in a sensible and mature manner.

[civic plover]

Also to add on! The same topic could have been talked about but censored and in a sensible manner without details which involved automodded words (just wanted to add this on)

[abstract crystal]

But yea I got it I will keep it in mind I hope the OP does too

[civic plover]

I appreciate that greatly

And I would like to put emphasis to keep things respectful and civil. Talking like that towards staff is not okay at all.

"Are you dyslexic?" And other comments like "They'd ought to replace you with me." And etc are not okay and they won't be tolerated.

[civic plover]

And in response to this- it's available to use ONLY in venting channels so that users are able to freely express themselves. It's not okay to be used at another person at all. And it doesn't necessarily have to reference anything NSFW.

[abstract crystal]

Hey at least next time he'll probably read twice before acting! I did a favor made bro sharper fr 💯

I caught a mistake and just called it out

He doubled down had to give a little firmer nudge

But I do understand

I could've maybe been nicer about it

I just was not feeling it and that's my fault 😭

I assumed that I had to get a little rough with my words to get through to people I tend to do that cause I'm often not taken seriously

I sincerely apologize @snow frigate

[eager otter]

What’s the reasoning bro

[wise shadow]

Ahaha and some of these kind of women will always end up alone

Ignore whores

[onyx kiln]

for the streats

[thick wigeon]

yeah if she disrespects me bro im out

[thick wigeon]

hahaha

thanks to all of u guys

ill js rpobably

not talk about it

and keep it to myself atm

but if it gets too much ill talk to her

[scenic atlas]

bro you deserve better..

[scenic atlas]

and do you know why the recorded that shi?

[scenic atlas]

tbh it was a clear red sign when she first lied

[thick wigeon]

bro idk

[thick wigeon]

I guess so

[scenic atlas]

tbh i kinda feel bad about u bro

u r innocent if it was me i would have broken up the day i came to know these shits

[thick wigeon]

idk why I cant bro

[scenic atlas]

u r attached to her like you love her right thats why its kinda hard to break up

but sx at 14 is wild asf bro ngl

[thick wigeon]

MAN IDK EITHER BRO

it js happened

im 15

why would they record tho

now the dude has it

the dudes obviously weird

probably driven by him

[scenic atlas]

u can either break up or live with her but if u wanna go with option 2 u gotta stop thinking about her past and accept it

[thick wigeon]

easier than done bro

been motnhs and shit keeps playing in my head

[scenic atlas]

its simple physically

mentals take time

block her contacts dont speak to her throw everything she gave and u will start forgettin

takestime

i have experience bro trust me XD

[onyx kiln]

its pretty traumatic event sometimes

emotionally charged moments

you can do some types of therapy to care less about memories

[thick wigeon]

bad experience bro

[thick wigeon]

dude therapies gotta be sdcams bro

how do they work

[scenic atlas]

smth which teaches u to be a man

[thick wigeon]

dude when I found out abt it

idek if I can fully trust her

with what she says

[wispy osprey]

That "cant forget about my exs yk" throws me off man

honestly id walk away if i heard that

[onyx kiln]

they work from understanding how the brain works and then rebuilding trust and peace in affected persons

if someone is still emotionally attached to their past relationship, they arent ready for a new one, you will be hurt

[eager otter]

Yeah ngl the recording could’ve been her not knowing it but still she consensually had sx with him

That’s super early to want to do that

[thick wigeon]

some hypersexual shit

[thick wigeon]

tough

[thick wigeon]

bor idk man

[thick wigeon]

yeah

[onyx kiln]

sounds strange and maybe illegal

just avoid the situation and go meditate or something

[thick wigeon]

its getting easier and easier to accept w time

[thick wigeon]

I have an update

she told me about her past

she only told me a part of it

she told me that she didnt wanted to get lusted over again she hated it she just did shit to make her feel loved she regrets everything she did w the dude

she doesnt know that I know shit too

should I ask her if thats all they did

I didnt ask the first time because I didnt want to worsen siht

she was crying whrn she told me

or just forget about it and move on

[thick wigeon]

I just want honesty from her

I did appreciate it so much that she had tehe courage to tell me about it

can I get opinions <@&1483139848717209705>

[wooden zodiac]

Lemme read rq

[thick wigeon]

thank u

[wooden zodiac]

Okay so its a lot to scroll through, which i mostly dont mind, but currently my WiFi is shit so it wont load messages properly

Are able to briefly explain what's up?

[plush sandal]

just a reminder to keep it sfw please

[wooden zodiac]

It is sfw :)

Don't worry

[thick wigeon]

also she didnt know anything about the guy she thought it was genuine but he was js a lustful person

[thick wigeon]

thats kinda hard to do on my part sorry about it

[plush sandal]

thats okay just try your best

ive read through the thread so i understand

[wooden zodiac]

Don't worry, as long as youre mature and sensible abt it its fine

(Meaning no explicit detailing)

[plush sandal]

theyre a minor discussing minors thats a different story

[wooden zodiac]

How so? I dont see the different story /g

[wooden zodiac]

@thick wigeon

[wooden zodiac]

Alright ive read a bit

She didn't know she was recorded and she was pressured into intimate acts.

If it bothers you, thats totally valid, and you should communicate that with her, but give her time processing this part of her past because from what ive read, she's still bothered by it.

I think she said you were all her firsts and lied about it not to harm you or seem like something she isn’t, but rather because she's ashamed of it and feels like she's in the wrong.

Its common for a person to feel this way when they've practically been forced to do something they didn't want to do or weren't ready to do.

You guys are still very young, so there's also no need to be intimate in this way, you've got plenty of time for that when you're at the right age (which would mostly be around 16 to 20).

Be patient with her, initiate when you both are ready, and most importantly, communicate how you feel about this in a gentle way.

Don't degrade her for it, don't dismiss the feelings she might have for it, be considerate, and be understanding and open minded.

@thick wigeon

[thick wigeon]

oh sorry I was getting errands

so ill talk to her

ill tell u guys how it goes

wait

it feels wrong to bring it up

shes ashmed about it and it hurts her

and she wants to move on

[wooden zodiac]

Yes and thats totally understandable from her side, but if it is something that bothers you then it should be communicated.

I assume its not necessarily about the fact that you are not her first, but more because she said you were which wasn't true

And else you should accept it and copy with it. But best is to try communicate how you feel regarding these topics

[thick wigeon]

ive known for motnhs

I tihnk I can handle it

[junior ember]

Why do I keep getting pinged to this things

[tawdry tulip]

She's not the one for you. She has no respect for you at all as a man. She still loves her ex alittle bit, it seems if as she was using you. Your more than that and theirs alot of women who's attracted to you who wouldn't say anything but will give you the world. You are the main character of "YOUR LIFE" take control bulid yourself cause better is coming ✨️💛

[charred vigil]

Any pronouns?

[small ridge]

A woman like this will be set for life don't forgive her

[wooden zodiac]

Yh as in, "idc what you call me as, he her, he him, etc"

[abstract crystal]

Tears don't mean shit in this game 🎯 💯

Just keeping it 100 💯

But I hear you

[abstract crystal]

But I like this approach you gotta just hope she ain't secretly a demon..

Being the first guy to treat her right is a dangerous place to be. 20% chance she's the LOYL. 80% chance she's your next heartbreak.

Just keep your eyes peeled and be ready for plot twists.