Autism and Other Mental Health Issues Pt. 1

[summer kayak]

Hi, I’m a 16 (almost 17) yr old high school student who has been struggling very badly for a very long time now with a lot of aspects of my life. It’s hard to know where to start, so I suppose I’ll provide a general breakdown of contextual information:

• I am diagnosed autistic but have not received any professional therapy or guidance about how to manage that
• My parents have been separated my entire life, and finalized their divorce a year and a half ago
• My mother and I have lived with my grandparents my entire life
• My father also has autism, and my mother has epilepsy and depression, and cannot control her temper very well
• Last year, my father got engaged to his fiance (who he only introduced me to months before) and had a baby with her, meaning I was very unexpectedly given a half brother that I am 16 years older than after living my entire life as an only child
• My grandfather, who I was extremely close to, passed away last year after six months of being in and out of the hospital and causing a lot of distress within the family

I have a few more posts to make delving deeper into all of this, but so far does anyone relate to any of this? And does anyone have advice on how to cope with so many significant changes all at once?

[finite pulsar]

@summer kayak hey, I recommend you to write it all in a single post instead of making different ones, that way you don’t flood the forums

I will delete the other 2 posts, but don’t worry! I will copy and paste your messages so they don’t get lost

“If you read my last post, that was a summary of what my life has been like the past two years, and I think all of that has led to really extreme mental health problems for me. I’m not diagnosed, but I can almost say for certain I’ve developed strong depression and I’ve experienced symptoms such as exhaustion, apathy, disinterest in my hobbies, and even mildly s*icidal thoughts.

On top of that is what I believe to be social anxiety. I went to Catholic school from kindergarten through 8th grade and had friends I got along really well with. However, in 2023 I started public high school, which none of them went to, and I lost contact with almost all of my old friends. Since then, I’ve been extremely lonely and haven’t hung out with anyone outside of school.

I’m a major introvert, but even I can admit that zero socialization with people my age for almost three years straight is probably not healthy. Can anyone give me advice for how to form actual friendships?”

“If you read my last post, you’ll know I don’t have many friends. Obviously, I do talk to people in school, and I’ve been able to form a small friend group with three girls. However, for the most part I am a mess when talking to people. Other autistic people might relate to this feeling where when I’m in a social situation, I’m suddenly conscious of every part of my body.

I know I don’t express emotion very well through nonverbal cues, so I have to make an effort to smile, and even then people notice I often look unhappy. I have no self confidence when it comes to talking to others. It’s been that way since I was little and hid behind my mom when she tried to get me to talk to people.

I know I have no talent for masking, so I avoid conversation as much as possible. It’s honestly just too terrifying, so all day at school my mind is in survival mode. Does anyone else feel like this socially, and is there any way to improve it?”

Lastly, response from @peak spruce

Oh yeah, 4th part
“As I mentioned earlier, I formed a sort of friendship group this year after joining the IB program, so my classes are smaller. However, I still don’t feel a deep connection with these people despite knowing them for most of high school.

The thing is, I have special interests in history and politics. I don’t care that it’s “weird,” but what I can’t accept is how hard it is to find anyone who shares that. The three people I’m friends with aren’t very close to me, and I feel that’s because they can’t relate to me.

They don’t like history, and while they care about politics, they don’t go as deep as I do and get annoyed when I try to talk about it. They often shut me down, which frustrates me.

I’m grateful to have people to talk to, but I also resent that they aren’t the friends I need. Is it my fault for not having any friends due to frustration with people in general, or am I justified in not wanting to waste my time putting effort into relationships that won’t reciprocate the same?”

Response from @balmy fern