Why does this always happen.
I get so CLOSE to potentially getting into a group on this RP server like a council.
But no.
They always, ALWAYS take everything away from me.
Again
And again
And again.
I try and be a part of this group managing the server story? No. They prefer someone else.
An advisor for the server? No. Always someone ELSE.
Maybe they just don't want the guy who constantly vents.
Maybe they don't want the guy who's trying to change by finally getting therapy.
Maybe they just don't like me.
EVERYTHING I DO.
I ALWAYS, ALWAYS GET SO DAMN CLOSE.
ONLY FOR IT TO BE RIPPED AWAY FROM ME WHEN I FINALLY FEEL LIKE I'M ADEQUATE.
WHEN I FINALLY FEEL LIKE I MATTER.
I'm jealous. I really am.
I hate that my friends have better opportunities than me.
I hate it so much.
But here I am crying at 4am at how I am.
I can never be good enough.
Ever.