Can't heal

[peak geode]

this November 2025 completely destroyed me, it started off with my break up, which is the biggest factor affecting me until now, then in the same week, my grandfather and my cousin died, next week I failed 2 of my exams, I wasn't going to the gym, and my hair was falling, my school almost shut down for a disgusting reason I won't mention. And November ended hurting worse than it started. after 3 years with my ex, I discover she hid the fact that she cheated on me with my ex best friend a year ago, and it hurts because she wasn't even pretty. everyone around me told me she wasn't good for me, shes ugly, etc. but I always tried to see the good in her, unfortunately I was fooled by her fake mask and personality and fell for a disgusting shameless person like her, she wouldn't even take accountability when I confronted her, instead, like she always does, she tried to manipulate me and gaslight me into thinking it was my fault this relationship was falling apart when in reality, she was the one shoving knives in my back. its been 2 months, ill turn 16 after 6 days, and I still dont feel any better, I feel anger, rage, because right before I left her I was willing to fight my ex best friend for her because he was flirting and shit, it was a week exactly before I discovered this. she never took full accountability for her actions and told me that I victimized myself in every situation. my blood was boiling, and I still cant forget her, 3 years just like that, and then a week ago I discovered that shes telling people that im the one who cheated on her, like okay ig. now unfortunately when I met my ex, I had like 7 other girls as friends, but I cut them all off for her, now I have no one, not my friends, not her, not anyone.

[frosty fiber]

Ok what it’s sounds like you need is an output

You’re angry you’re heartbroken you feel betrayed and you’re grieving you need something to put those feelings into before you can rest and take the time to process them

So my advice is find something easy and high energy to do like hitting a punching bag or going to the gym you need something to occupy yourself

But when you have a chance talk to someone family or even just a stranger or hell it could be me but you will need to talk to someone so you can process these feelings

you’ve had so much going on that you haven’t had time to grieve and its ok to take time off of responsibilities to do so but for now you just need a break

[peak geode]

I want to tell people about my problems but it just feels like seeking attention, it feels weird for some reason

[frosty fiber]

I get why you feel that way but believe me when i say you arent overreacting your not seeking attention youre hurt and you need someone to talk to which can be anyone willing to listen

[peak geode]

ngl that's originally why I came onto this server man, everyone around me irl doesn't get it, even my closest ones, they dont understand

[frosty fiber]

if you are hurting i guarantee that if you talk to a parent they will try their best to support you even if they don’t fully understand

[peak geode]

I tried with my mom honestly and it felt a bit better that she understands that its not easy but my dad wouldn't get it at all so 😭

[twin bobcat]

You don't think so but honestly my dad has been my biggest help.

I never thought he would be.

[peak geode]

nah trust me if he knew if I was in a relationship it wouldn't end good

[twin bobcat]

Honestly, its all about forgiveness. You still feel angry because you havent been able to forgive yourself or your ex.

[raw ibex]

you've just been through an overwhelming situation that would take a hit on anyone's mental health
i know it doesn't seem that important when i say it, but just by the title of this post you're being unfair to yourself by naming this post "can't heal" which implies that you expect yourself to just move on from it already after 2 months
truth is that 2 months ago was extremely recent and it's perfectly normal for you to feel the way you do about this situation, we all take our own time to move on from events that took a strike in our own well being, you just started a healing process and that's perfectly fine
what i recommend for you to do from now on is give to yourself the respect and space you need
try cranking up comfort activities in your daily routine, that could be anything that shifts your focus into the activity itself, like playing your comfort game, or doodling, writing, listening to a comfort album
you should also try the exercise of trying to notice every time you're starting to spiral down into a mental breakdown and just stop for a second, it's easier said than done and it takes time, but it does wonders once you get the gist of it
my personal comfort album is the space ambient album from 1976 "New age of earth" made entirely by Manuel Göttsching under the alias "Ashra" specially the song "deep distance"
hope this is helpful, and remember to take your time and to be fair to yourself about taking your own time

[frosty fiber]

Hey that’s progress and in the next few months if you keep this up things are going to get easier but never be afraid to vent to someone if you want to

[peak geode]

I really appreciate it and sorry for replying late i had a flight, thanks for the recommendations too

[peak geode]

I feel embarrassed

[frosty fiber]

your doing the right thing so there’s nothing to be embarrassed about its never going to be super easy explaining personal parts of your life which is why people struggle with opening up so don’t worry you’ll be fine

[peak geode]

Lately the feeling has been on and off every couple of days, it used to be everyday, a cycle of thinking of the situation and just wanting to kill myself, but its been less by time and I hope it gets even less soon

[frosty fiber]

Look youre healing its not a quick process but eventually it will get better you wont necessarily be the same as before the relationship but it will be better than right now

[peak geode]

its also definitely better than the first month of the break up

[frosty fiber]

That’s good keep up great work

[peak geode]

I appreciate you

[frosty fiber]

I appreciate the work your putting it its put you on the right track for sure