I feel lost and I dont have hope to ever recover myself

[flat totem]

I've felt this way for a while, but the problem is, I don't have anyone to express how I feel

I feel lost in a giant world, with no hope of a tomorrow. I feel like I can't do anything for myself, but I have no confidence in people or even in myself.

I feel trapped trying to hold onto these feelings all the time, about what I've done, the sins I've committed, the times I've let people down, the moments when I wasn't able to make someone smile.

I've always had 3 goals since my childhood: 1. To always be the best version of myself, 2. Always help those in need, 3. Make as many people as possible happy.

But I just feel useless, unable to help myself, unable to do anything for myself, unable to even be a decent person, unable to even be useful to anyone.

I've even tried different things, like starting to draw, making new friends, even starting a YouTube channel, but I always feel like I'm not welcome anywhere, I feel like people don't enjoy my company, I feel like I'm making people uncomfortable, and I never know why.

Please, just help me, I don't know what to do and I'm lost. This is the first time I've tried to seek help in a place I don't even know.

[reef coral]

idk but it sounds like you’ve been holding all of this in for a really long time, and that kind of weight can make anyone feel lost and exhausted. feeling like you don’t have anyone to talk to, or like you don’t belong anywhere, can really mess with how you see yourself and the world. the guilt you’re carrying about past mistakes and letting people down feels like it’s eating at you, but that doesn’t mean you’re a bad or useless person it means you care deeply and put a lot of pressure on yourself to be good and make others happy. having goals like wanting to help people and make them smile says a lot about who you are, even if right now you feel like you’re failing at them. trying new things and reaching out, even when it didn’t feel welcomed, still shows effort and hope, not weakness. it makes sense that you feel stuck and unsure of what to do next, and it’s okay to admit you need help with that. if you can, it might really help to talk to someone outside of this space who can support you more directly, like someone you trust or a professional. you don’t have to have answers right now, and the fact you reached out at all means you haven’t given up, even if it feels like you have.