Slipping from reality.

[raven marsh]

I feel myself slipping, like I'm not truly myself. It feels like I'm disconnecting from reality, nothing seems real to me anymore.
My emotions and stress have been weighing me down a ton. I have several gray hairs (not that I care). I feel like I want to pretend everything is real, like I'm actually living.
I don't feel too much emotion to things anymore, but it's not like I have none at all.
I haven't had a girlfriend since months ago, my last girlfriend hurt me mentally.
The idea of death doesn't really scare me anymore, being at rest from all this mental wear indefinitely.
I feel mindless sometimes.
I can't get things done, things feel fake, like a dream. Like I could leap and fall then truly wake up, before I started feeling not real.

[glacial laurel]

Ali

Thats me on a daily basis

I tried to get stuff to overdose today, but I needed ID.
Do u ever think about killing ur self

Or have u tried?

[shrewd pine]

Hello. I am so sorry that you are feeling like life is not worth anything right now and that you are struggling to see your own value. Please listen when I tell you that you are not mindless and you are not empty. Your life has so much meaning and you have a worth that is just as deep as anyone else in this world. You have been through so much but you do not have to be alone through any of it anymore.
​I am truly sorry that your ex-girlfriend hurt you mentally. It was never right for her to treat you that way and you never deserved that pain especially when all you wanted was to be loved. I know everything feels heavy and hard right now and I know you might feel like ending everything is the only way to make it stop. But please believe me when I say there is so much more to your story than ending it. You deserve to live fully and see how beautiful and meaningful life can actually be because there is a way through every dark time.
​I know you are lonely and that you crave love so much. That feeling is so real and I know how much it hurts to want to be loved. I want you to take all that love you are ready to give and use it to love yourself first. Before you look for another relationship please take this time to heal because when you are hurting you might not make the best choices for your heart. Right now you do not need a girlfriend to fix the pain but you need to find your own confidence and learn to love the person you are.
​Please learn to love yourself first before you try to love others. When you finally reach that place where you are whole and confident you will be able to love someone else in a way that is healthy. You will be able to fully understand them and see their worth because you finally understand your own. You are worth the effort and you are worth the wait.

[raven marsh]

thank you.

[raven marsh]

I've thought about it, but I know myself, I could never go through with it.

[shrewd pine]

You can go through it.

Then let me be the person to continue reminding you that you could.

You can do it, it's about having confidence with yourself.

Let's make a Journal grab a notebook and write to it everyday, and don't forget to write to it and say your thoughts and to remind yourself that you're able to do it.

[raven marsh]

wait, I meant something different.

[shrewd pine]

What is it.

[raven marsh]

I thought you said something else, sorry.

[shrewd pine]

Listen Alice, I'm really proud of you.

Don't doubt yourself.

You're making progress, sending that message asking and showing your thoughts is already progress.

You're amazing for doing that.

And I want you take the things I said to heart.

You can do it Alice, I really believe in you.

[shrewd pine]

You can DM me whenever you could, or need someone.

[raven marsh]

thank you.

[shrewd pine]

Could you tell me what else is bothering your mind?

I know there's still some things.

I wanna make you happy.

[raven marsh]

Stress on losing access to some of my accounts

it's really stressing me out.

[shrewd pine]

Are they hacked.

You can enable two factor authentication to all of them.

You can keep note of each account's password and email.

[raven marsh]

no.

[shrewd pine]

Don't be stressed Alice.

[raven marsh]

thats the issue

[shrewd pine]

That's the issue?

[raven marsh]

I'm locked out because I don't have my phone with the authenticator app right now

I believe my main account is still in this server

@ancient yew

[shrewd pine]

Was the authenticator made using Google?

[raven marsh]

yes

[shrewd pine]

Like Google Authy.

Then you're in luck.

You can just log in and install Authy on another device and turn on sync.

[shrewd pine]

And they'd flash right up. :))

[raven marsh]

well, I have no access to a mobile device right now. Do you think a Android emulator will work?

[shrewd pine]

Yes it will.

I believe so.

[raven marsh]

Let me try, and thank you.

[ancient yew]

I got my account back, thank you so much.

@shrewd pine