runic thorn
Update: 12/10/25
I've been doing much better lately, reading my Bible in the morning, doing my daily routine, eating right and even exercising. I hope that things will turn out better for me. There's so much that my life has to offer and honestly? I'm so glad I didn't take my life. I hope this motivates others to do the same.
TLDR: Doing much better, writing this as motivation for myself and others to keep pushing through.
runic thorn
Update: 12/21/25
It's creeping back, my old issue, I'm not sure if I could make a separate journal just for that explaining everything but some things aren't meant to be public, but then again it's just one of many journals someone may not read..
runic thorn
Update: 12/22/25:
I can feel him trying to claw out of my body...he wants out..and he's been wanting it for 7 years now. What started as a video...to a twisted thought, to a voice and now into something sinister...I don't know how to break free. Maybe this is my cross to bear, that and something else. I fear that taking my meds won't really help me much since I've been on it and it took a long time for me to get used to the one I was used to
What does he want from me, what does he gain? I refuse to believe that I'm him and that we are one being housed in the same body. I have mine and he has his. I thought for years that I was slowly turning into the thing that I feared, but now I see it's more like a switch to be awakened in me, and he's trying to tap into it and cause me to snap
I don't want to go to jail...or get someone hurt.
Well at least I'm lonely...he used to love telling me about my friends
And now I barely have any
It feels like heat...strong heat, telling me to go. Move. Do what he wants. I feel it coursing through my veins, causing me to ache and writhe in thoughts and pleasureful pain. Everything matters...if I slip up it goes off and something happens