gleaming oxide
Introduction
Haii :3
People call me Baconite. I'm a mockgov enthusiast. I had been in USGS, USGR, APRP, TAPP, ANHM, CLAA and so many more.
However at this time, I'm stuck here because I have some untreated mental problems.
Overthinking
Obsessive behavior
Jealousy
Emotional depending on people
Not able to let go of the past
Well, I would ramble a lot and this must be dealt with and fixed
Tuesday, November 18, 2025
I finally left APRP after days of thinking
It's been a wild time
Especially seeing Rand Paul being more and more popular I knew my jealousy can't stay here forever
Even if I am, I'm still 7 days timed out
Who knew mockgovs can be so emotionally draining
Or I'm just not capable
I began digging through the old chats of USGS
It was August when Hikori joined
That's about long time
It was September when she was elected president pro tempore
Remember that?
You were told to support her.
Right...
I did
I did spited her once
That was the first sign of emotional dependency
Suddenly you were denialing
Then you can't walked a day without her once
The first DM was on August
The first talk was on September
You jump ship from USGS
The first RP interaction was on August
I was there
I was the one to help when she was harrassing AOC at the bar
The RP Twitter post was gone
But you remember what it was right?
It was the pregnancy announcement
I know it's just RP
It's just RP
But my mind treats it like a real thing
I was shocked
Later tweets would be that she was both the mother and father
So single mother?
Single mother
But it was 2030 ish anyway
That was the voice message you wrote
You basically confessed
I did...
I did hint
It was a genuine thought
It was really something
You jumped ship during when?
October
It was October
I thought of I swallowed my pride and go take a risk
I'd be with her
When I arrived in APRP
It was a shockinf
She was with other
Gov. John Davis Rockefeller V
bot developer
Administrator
Governor of Phoenix
And his wife
Her
Hikori
Hikori Rei-Rockefeller
Sen. Hikori Rei-Rockefeller
Why were you crazy over this?
I wasn't
It's just a response
To others
I said
Great couple hehe
Within me
It was pain
Abandoned
She left
I was never someone in her eyes
What happened next?
Luckily
They didn't announced pregnancy
Or else I'm dead
The both of their relationship empathize on what I experienced in 2021
Uwazaki and Kyle (+Alex)
It just one thing
You did left APRP once right?
I did
After I throw away George Santos, my character claim at the time
But why returned?
I came back when other mockgov died off
I arrived back and Rockefeller stopped roleplaying
Hikori was Ryan Gosling before becoming Mr Durbin
I took Dan Quayle
Well
It took a while for me to start open abit freely
Not until she left a week back
I threw off Dan Quayle
When I learnt of it
In full honestly
She always considered me a cute friend
But
I think when I confessed to hee
About the thing
She told me to get help
End of log
gleaming oxide
Saturday November 22nd 2025
I've been feeling better since I left APRP for about a couple of days now
Never felt more better than before
End of log
gleaming oxide
Monday November 24 2025
I've joined back to APRP but they banned me without elaboration
So I guess I could officially say that the server was toxic by nature
I'm outta here for good
End of Log
gleaming oxide
Saturday November 29 2025
It's been quite a while since I wrote an entry
Hikori was seen taking over a server. It was CLAA. How could pewds allow something like this to happen
I'm not dealing with this shit any longer
I've put ignore onto her profile
I'm gonna stay out of it
End of Log
gleaming oxide
Monday December 8, 2025
I've decided to unignore her and began talking again. And I learnt that ADHD contributed to whatever emotional attachment I had on her.
I'll just do my best to survive now she may be active the new server
gleaming oxide
Wednesday, December 10, 2025
I've officially two days without panicking. We done a lot of talking. It's been fun.
End of Log
gleaming oxide
Wednesday, December 10, 2025
Hikori joined USGR yesterday... What if she dedicate her time in there more than ADPA.
I'm not gonna think about this. I'm not gonna be anxious about this
End of Log
gleaming oxide
Friday, December 12, 2025
I've ran out of tolerance. I can't believe that I even confessed half of my life to her. Now she thinks I'm weird.