I (22) am in relationship with my girlfriend for a little over a year now, she was my best friend for years before. We are both attending uni and still living at home until we finish uni. The problem is that my family is extremely homophobic and would never accept her or my sexuality (I'm bisexual, we are both female).
I have to hide our relationship for over a year now, I am constantly under pressure. I feel horrible, I'm genuinely not happy and it's taking a huge toll on my mental well-being. I am not able to really do anything anymore, I could constantly cry and I know that when I feel bad my girlfriend is not happy either. She already knows my situation.
My girlfriend's family is completely accepting, and I feel like I'm wasting her time and holding her back. She deserves someone who can show her off, not someone who has to hide her. I feel worse the longer our relationship goes on.
I love her and the thought of breaking up is devastating because I don't want to hurt her. However, the thought of being in a relationship my family could accept is honestly feeling easier than this secrecy. I've told her how bad the situation is for me.
I just can't continue under this pressure anymore and I feel absolutely horrible for thinking this way or even considering breaking up for this reason.
I just don't know what to do anymore... I have thought about breaking up for the last year, because the pressure from my family is really getting to me. Like I said, they don't know but they do pressure me to "finally get a boyfriend". I am the youngest in the family and even my cousins seem to pressure me. I just can't do anything anymore, I feel horrible on a daily basis and can't even do things I once enjoyed anymore.
#I don't know what to do anymore
quartz parcel
TL;DR:
I'm 22, bisexual, and in a one-year relationship with my girlfriend (who was my best friend first), but I have to completely hide it because my family is extremely homophobic and doesn't know about my sexuality or my partner. The secrecy is crushing me, I'm under constant pressure, deeply unhappy, and my mental health is suffering to the point where I can't enjoy anything. I feel like I'm holding my girlfriend back and wasting her time. Although the thought of hurting her by breaking up is devastating, the constant pressure is making me consider ending it because I genuinely can't do this this daily struggle anymore and the emotional toll is too much. I don't know what to do. I know there are only 2 options (3 if continuing to suffer in secrecy counts)
shut ingot
I (22) am in relationship with my girlfriend for a little over a year now, she w...
in ur mind do you want to break up or reveal more?
quartz parcel
I just don't know anymore, I feel so horrible that I just want to be happy again and I am not sure I can while staying in this relationship... but I also really don't want want to hurt my girlfriend
shut ingot
yk there is three way out to this. or maybe a compromise. If you break up, you can tell her you need a pause, not an ending. be honest about everything tell her everything. You can agree to stay best friends , and once you are able to live by urself, you can re-evaluate. This is still a breakup tho , but it may softens the blow with a future hope ig?
quartz parcel
Yeah, she does know everything and I did think about that as well