azure sandal
i need advice. i've been unofficial with a girl for about a month now. i've found that i have strong feelings for this girl, let's call her S.
i met S in about 2020, she went to my primary school and we became friends over time, we were interested in the same kinds of things and overall were quite similar people.
i might have caught feelings for S back then, but later as i matured into high school i shrugged it off and had my own issues to deal with. S went to a different high school, so we stayed in touch by messaging, about every week.
more recently, I invited S to my youth group. her parents have always been strict about what she does but this time they let her go; we'd grown almost to best friends by the time we started unofficially dating. more like hanging out and going places, but it feels that way.
having moved house this year, S' high school is much closer, so i'm most likely going there next year. i'm nervous in a way, even if i find it exciting to be around her more. she's really been the only truest friend i ever had, i have gone through things in the past with others that i thought were close to me, and sometimes i feel the same could happen with S.
the problem is starting to arise. i'm seeing all the brilliant qualities in S shine through and catching some strong feelings through that, and even though we're similar people, i feel like i'm not good enough for her a lot of the time now.
i'm still kinda my old self who was in a really depressed state for a long time to the point i fell behind in school both learning and social wise. i feel it would be really selfish of me to put S through any of my shit by asking her out, even though my feelings are really strong.
in fact, i think part of the reason i'm even climbing out of said state is because of her. i'm just lost and torn over what to do about it, so i'm asking you guys. thank you if you've read to the bottom and are willing to give your thoughts, it's a bit weird and complicated. 🫶
wild lily