solar depot
Yesterday when arguing with my mom she said a lot of choice words, I was told I'm extremely unlikeable and hard to get along with, I'm an asshole, that she didn't care, that I should hate myself, no one wants to be around me. Then told me my therapist said that she could give me smarties and I'd think they work because I'm not really mentally ill it's all for attention, then she said I used to sh for attention, then she told me I'm borderline and just like my father (who severally abused me) and feel like I'm a horrible person that deserves nothing and has no positive qualities, she told me she couldn't forgive me yesterday, also told me if I missed my meds she'd kick me out, if I made anyone upset she would... It went from her saying we'd all start over to her screaming in my face while I'm crying
(The entire argument was around how I was packing which wasn't all that much stuff but both my mom and dad kept saying we're coming back tomorrow and I took it as them being passive aggressive meaning stop packing so much)
She didn't even say I love you before I went to bed last night..or goodnight or anything...
I'm now laying in bed trying to stop thinking about how much of a piece of shit I am that is doomed to ruin everything, I feel like I'll ruin my relationship with the love of my life, I'll get kicked out or when I leave home no one will ever speak to me again
dreamy trellis