Loss of emotion

[calm hemlock]

I have spent time helping people but i suppose its my turn to ask now 😅 . I have struggled with loss of emotion and some memory condition for idk around 6 months maybe?

My memory is gradually becoming worse at this point i often don't remember things i was planning to do after just messaging someone for a minute and when i try to recall memories there's no image just.. Facts and details with no sound, image nor emotion i can describe the situation like muscle memory but nothing else.

I also experience no emotion i can become frustrated etc but thats tied to feeling and surface composure not emotion itself. I cannot be sad, happy, joyful nor experience any other emotion the only thing driving me is duty, responsibility and some hope without warmth. I haven't experienced human warmth for years either i can build connections but only for the other person not me..

This is likely a result of conditions regarding my birth as well as trauma etc i would like to regain warmth and emotion as well as fix my memory but to be frank i don't even bother putting in effort into even trying to fix it... Thx for reading ❤️

[royal marsh]

Question is: do you want to stay in that state of loss? If no, change. Thats it. Change. Change for yourself, seek happiness, fight for it, fight for yourself, love yourself and if you can, seek professional help. Sometimes you need to talk about everything even when you couldnt or can remember any emotions, feelings and behaviors, eventually you'll remember if you have a deep talk with someone. My dms are open.

[calm hemlock]

Thanks ❤️ i don't believe in loving yourself because i believe more in discipline and loving yourself can stunt that. I don't hate nor love myself for that matter. I do agree talking to someone would help i suppose its just i've been invalidated my entire life so i just think everyone will do it again as always. Its kinda deep so i think i'll also have to change body language and much more though.