Dreams of ours - My Journal | The Therapy Center | Page 1

lime warren Sep 18, 2025, 5:31 AM

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I’m gonna write in here in public so I feel some responsibility to do more and to do better. It’s 1:27 am, 9/18/2025. I went to work went back. Took a rest day at the gym. Played some video games. Finished a resume and presentation. Now I’m sitting in bed after crying again. Day after day the same thing for years. I want this to be the last time. I never opened up to anyone except once a few weeks ago to my friends. I’m happy to have them. But the pain is still there. I’m gonna journal my life and improve. I’m sick of this cycle it’s time to change.

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I wanna write down what i’ve been doing so i can look back and remember whats wrong with me

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I hate myself so much and I don’t even feel like myself anymore

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It feels so draining to be alive in a world im not good enough for. And when i want to change and try to be better I mess it up and I hold myself back

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I’m done with this, I am changing and I am gonna come back here and hold myself responsible

lime warren Sep 18, 2025, 11:18 PM

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didnt sleep much, too tired to work out, didnt eat much, good day at work

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focusing on eating more and sleeping on time for rest of the day

lime warren Sep 19, 2025, 2:52 AM

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im feeling down again but not enough to cry

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ive been listening to new music that makes me feel good

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i've always been quiet and introverted but i want to talk to more people and get closer with them

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im gonna try that

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i dont have a lot of reasons to live or motivations for the future

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i like going to the gym beacuse it makes me feel better about myself

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and i like playing guitar because i feel like i accomplished something

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but i feel lonely sometimes even with friends

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i have a crush on a girl now

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i want to improve myself and be the best so that when its time

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im ready for her

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thats my motivation for living

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i feel stupid for not knowing much about being social. but thats okay im still learning and its not like im something terrible. i just have to watch myself and just try to enjoy myself instead of overthinking about it

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ive realized that ive actually changed a lot since the past 2 years. even if it doesnt feel like it but im changing little by little for the better. i just hate how long it takes to be normal but thats okay

lime warren Sep 19, 2025, 3:54 AM

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i cried again

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im going to book for therapy

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i cant keep doing this

lime warren Sep 20, 2025, 12:06 AM

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Went to get food with friends

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Didnt sleep much last night

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Was too tired to interact with anyone

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Interview went well

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Saw some old messages of mine and reminded me of my mistakes

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I hate who i am

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And i wish i can change for the better in an instant

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But i cant to that

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So i have to wait and go through the pain

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My family got in a fight with me because i got a therapist

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It’ll blow over

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I will be alright in the end

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Im still feeling sad and all i think all day are my problems

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Im gonna go out and get drunk tonight

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I feel happy when im not sober

lime warren Sep 20, 2025, 1:12 AM

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Ive been getting suicidal thoughts

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Therapist appointment on monday

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Just gotta make it

lime warren Sep 20, 2025, 5:35 AM

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im drunk as shit

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i got a girl's snap

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at the bar

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but i still feel lonely

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i need to be better

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i wish i was better

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i wish i was a better friend to so many people

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but because of my mistakes ive been terrible

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i need to make up for it

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i need to be better

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i'll be better

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i swear on it

lime warren Sep 20, 2025, 12:36 PM

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im gonna be a better friend

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i know it

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they still love me i just need to be what i used to be

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instead of what i am right now

lime warren Sep 20, 2025, 11:08 PM

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Made up with a friend today

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Still have a long way to go

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But im gonna go in there with a positive mindset

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And make things right

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No shame in it

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No shame in changing

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I got this

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It’ll all be worth it in the end

lime warren Sep 21, 2025, 6:00 PM

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been drinking and going out for 4 days

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broke down and cried last night

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woke up drunk still feeling sad

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only feel happy when im drunk

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but i cant keep doing this

lime warren Sep 22, 2025, 4:16 AM

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i vented to more friends

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i feel better

lime warren Sep 23, 2025, 7:00 PM

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i went to therapy yesterday

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i miss my therapist already

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but im following what he says

lime warren Sep 26, 2025, 11:30 PM

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i went again

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i need rest

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and i need to take care of my body

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so thats what im gonna do

lime warren Jan 6, 2026, 10:07 AM

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New year new me type shi

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I’ve been getting super paranoid and idk whats real anymore

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But i want to keep changing my life for the better

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I met a girl and she’s cool

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I don’t see her much though

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I’m happy for the friends i do have but i dont think i fit in with them

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Im gonna join new clubs and meet new people

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Because i want to find more ppl like me

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Because i dont want to feel lonely anymore

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I’m gonna keep going to the gym and staying healthy

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Im gonna show my parents more love

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I cant love anyone until i love myself

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And i just want to be kinder

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I want to stop hurting others and myself

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Even if i do overthink it and what i do

lime warren Feb 20, 2026, 5:24 AM

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Tried to kill myself a days after that message

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Going back to therapy

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Life’s okay i guess

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I have to push myself

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Something is missing

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And

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I really wish i was smarter

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I wont let it get to me anymore

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I am what i am

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I can only live on

lime warren Mar 3, 2026, 9:12 PM

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Im starting to numb to the idea of suicide

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The part of me that wants to live on is fading

#Dreams of ours - My Journal