Child safety concerns + suggestions

[dry juniper]

Going to paste my concerns in a second

Here's the original message i sent as a concern for child safety in the server. Im going to compile some evidence along with some suggestions i feel could be useful if implemented

for starters,
im not sure if this is already linked but i feel like encouraging the education on things like the NCMEC and organizations alike would be useful.

h ttps://www.dhs.gov/know2protect/how-to-report?gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=22114696225&gbraid=0AAAAAq3BANV_xkjce3XZ7cmxT2Xun05zB

h ttps://report.cybertip.org

h ttps://www.missingkids.org/gethelpnow/cybertipline

these are good resources for reporting child endagerment / exploitation / CSAM anonymously online. It should be encouraged to keep reports to literal, non fictional harm to children because they are legally required to go through every report and authenticate it.
i think having a specific channel pertaining to resources about not only child abuse and exploitation, but the signs of abuse ( sexual, emotional, mental, physical, etc ) would be useful for people to become familiar with predatory tactics

h ttps://www.dhs.gov/blue-campaign/protect-yourself?gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=22900705842&gbraid=0AAAAA_jN2HSB55vu-GE-UirDPBQW2gcCk

encouraging the education of online safety tips is important as well.

If minors are allowed in the server, i would actually suggest removing age specific roles and keeping age ranges instead IF anything.

Something like Minor , Adult , and then maybe one like 20-25+
essentially, age specific roles should be exclusive to adults
the reason i say this is because having specific age ranges applied to minors i feel is even more of a target.
Predators do typically hahe a preference for age and age range.

For example, pedophile the word for being attracted to prepubescent children, primarily ages 13 and younger.

While hebephillia would be the attraction to pubescent children, ages 11-14.
Not only does the age range feature make it easier for predators to find "preferred" victims to exploit, but it also makes it easier for predators to blend in among the "prey"

if age roles arent authenticated or verified, who's to say a 25 year old can't just get a 13 year old role and pose as a child? or befriend children who are naive and think they're talking to someone their age?

Another concern i had

Although I think in a perfect world it would be best to provide a space for all ages to seek companionship akd connection ... it is far from a perfect world and i feel it can end up being a disservice or cause more harm than good
For example, in a perfect world i do feel minors should be able to discuss mature topics they may encounter. whether it be sexual feelings, desires, concerns, abuse.. or things like substance abuse

these are very normal things that minors will experience of course

but should they be encouraged to share it, even if it's under the guise of seeking out help or support? i dont think so. Topics that complex should be handled with nuance, which i dont feel like anyone who's not liscense is equipped to handle
hell, id even argue a lot of professionals may not even be equipped to handle it

and that's where the concern comes it. Its already a very difficult and stigmatized topic is society in itself, im not sure it will be handled as respectfully as it should be in a such a diverse discord server

Unfortunately, a lot of the times children are naive or feel as though they know more than they help thwy receive. So i've noticed that minors will be defensive or dismissive to genuinely important or healthy advice, but be more reciprocative to less serious handlings of the topic or even just advice that will objectively cause harm

i dont think a discord server that can't be regulated 1000% of the time will ever be a place for minors to discuss things in a healthy manner. im sure we'd all
like to try, but with all i've said along with the fact that discord as a company is notorious for dismissing predators on their app

you have to kind of take the responsibility in your own hands. im sure y'all would be receptive though, especially in a mental health support group.
Im sorry if i seem a bit passionate about the subject, i am a CSA victim and got my CSAM trafficked online from ages 8-14. I was primarily exploited on discord. So sometimes I'll see patterns from what got me into such traumatic events, and i want to offer my insight.

[weak belfry]

Holy yap

[dry juniper]

it's about how to prevent online child trafficking and sexual abuse, and also how the server lacks in the ability to do so, so i feel like yapping in this context is justified

[weak belfry]

Ur good gang keep up the good work

[warm lagoon]

I am just a bit curious about your suggestions so excuse me if i am poking where it isn't my work, lol. Ok, first, even without specific age roles pds can still seek their targets from all the minor role users, but yes, it would make it a bit harder for them to target agr specific groups, the problem is that even with non age specific predators can still equip the minor role. And obviously it isn't realistic to verify everyone's age as this in my opinion poses info safety concerns and in the very least it would overwhelm staff. Another thing is that minors and adults say their ages very often, but yes, i agree that minor and adult roles would probably be better.

For your second point. I think we can agree that when humans start to go through puberty a lot of questions may arise or changes may make a teen feel strange, gross or even depressed to some extent. Yes, they can google everything to seek answers which they will probably find, but human interaction even online helps a lot. I think that if adults can advise minors that would help a lot, as they have a lot more experience about it. And yes in a perfect world all that you said would be the best, but the world isn't perfect, nor completely safe and never will be. I think that talking about such things brings some cons, but a lot of pros too, like any other thing. What we could possibly do is maybe pin threads in #1021080405895561246 and #1279089434092109835 and add pop up messages in the vent channels and general help that explain how minors can protect themselves when they choose to speak about such topics. What do you think? And yes they shouldn't be encouraged, but they also shouldn't be made to keep things to themselves and manage alone with it, that's how many problems may arise. And as long as we aren't talking about trolls or some, if you will excuse me, idiots i think that the listeners here would handle topics respectfully (There are always rotten apples tho). About the last thing in your second point. I agree that we minors and even adults follow more dismissive advices just because it's easier, that's how our brain is wired, not trying to excuse it tho.

[warm lagoon]

A place that isn't completely safe isn't a place for minors, yeah, but what place is? Even your own home isn't completely safe, the uncomfortable truth is that nowhere in this universe is completely safe, but even if something isn't completely safe it can bring more benefits that outweigh the danger, going for groceries can end your life, but you still do it, going to school can do the same, personally I've been accidentally hit on the head and it caused some injuries, but that's life, you can encounter a pedophile on here and you need to know how to deal with it. Making a place safer is always a good option, but you need to look at the cons too, which i am sure you did. I think that we can form a middle ground with the things i proposed above and make it so minors know when to #contact-staff or block a certain person. Personally, without TTC i would probably be some homophobic and racist a hole who would suffer from many things. TTC helped me think more critically, have better opinions, be more accepting of myself and others and gave me a place to socialise because i am too anxious to form many new friendships.(Kinda out of topic mb)
And you are completely fine lol, being passionate about something isn't bad, and you gave some pretty good suggestions.

[dry juniper]

hi i just wanted to thank you for the lengthy response , and ill be able to get back to you soon with one to match. i'll be a bit busy but regardless i wanted to thank you anywau and let you know i'll reply soon ^_^

[warm lagoon]

Yeah, dw, take your time

[exotic fractal]

This

[dry juniper]

I feel like maybe i should explain myself or my point a bit further. I do agree with this rebuttal, though maybe adding more context or replying thoroughly would do good.

My point is less focused on the fact that there are little to "safe spaces", i agree with your sentiment there which actually ties into my point.
The fact that there is an incredible lack of safe places is the concern. Because when, this server for example, advertises itself as a safe safe or supportive environment, that is part of the responsibility that comes with hosting a server on this topic.

I don't anticipate that moderation will ever reach a point where it genuinely abides by said regulations, especially considering that this is a non-formal / clinical setting. So of course, there's a lack of those equipped to handle such concerns.

However, i feel like that's a very big thing to take into consideration. Because we acknowledge that the moderators are not inherently equipped to monitor 100% efficiently , i do feel like that's where implementing safety moderation that isn't reliant on an admin being present is a good start

My biggest issue is less because of the concern itself, because the issue of child safety / predation ofc spreads far beyond this server and its professions

but moreso because of how it's promoted / advertised.
It's called therapy center, and is promoted as a safe and supportive environment for troubled individuals ( including minors ) to connect with one another . hosting a server among this topic already kind of places the responsibility of upholding that safe space image / community and maintaining that

The fact that it's promoted in that way, but i have been active for less than like.. a week consistently.. and i've noticed a few instances where i feel like the server failed to uphold that image i suppose

You can't control the issue in the grand scheme of things, it will always be an existing issue that should be worried abt in moderation. however, again, the responsibility of keeping it a safe space for the minors you invite and commit to preventing exploitation / solicitation kind of comes when hosting a server like this

One moment i'll be able
to reply a bit more, im a bit occupied atm but i wanna touch down on ur other points as well

thank u again , sry for my
spotty replies lol

[warm lagoon]

Nah, np, ima ask some questions first and then respond with a bigger message if that's ok.

[warm lagoon]

Can you say such instances and what happened in detail?

[warm lagoon]

Ok, so, about moderation, yes, they can't moderate 100% of the time and that's where our role comes into play, we as members of this server have the responsibility of pinging staff or contacting staff through #contact-staff , i think we have pretty tight rules which are almost always followed by everyone except trolls and etc which are disposed of quickly(the reason i say almost always is because we(the members) sometimes bypass some words, but we don't them to offend or attack anyone, but more so express ourselves, also bypassing words that have very high severity like the n word are not accepted and staff is pinged immediately.). Also, moderation isn't reliant on an admin being present (i am talking about general moderation, because veryfying IDs for the adult chat and etx have higher risk to make our members vulnerable so only very trusted staff members do that.) helpers can mute people until mods appear and do the more severe steps in moderation. I've been on here for quite some time and i would say i am satisfied from the rules and such as a minor. I am primarily talking about main chat as i don't know what's the situation in the vent channels, but moderation there is tight, too. But i can confidently say this is a safe space.

[warm lagoon]

I am not going to comment on this topic for now, because i want to wait for you to respond to my question

[warm lagoon]

Isn't that kinda like blaming the police for not responding to theft because no one has told them? That's why we need to put more information about when minors should contact staff or block users as i said before, but you can't expect staff to be able to magically meddle in probate messages and etc because they don't have access and they can't see such things when no one has told them(sorry if i sound rude)