#JJs Entry to High School Journal

3 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

glad sedge Aug 17, 2025, 4:34 AM

Hi, I'm JJ and im here to share my highschool experience as a typical teenage boy suffering from the follwing things. Schitzo, depression, and suicidal ideation. Welcome I hope you enjoy 🙂 (I just came into my freshman year)

7:20 AM: I entered the highschool with my senior sister who lead me around. The end of the tour."Where was the freshman area again?" I asked. I think i was desperate to hold onto the only person I tolerated here. I sit in the halls constantly checking the clock. Hoping. Praying. That this hell will end. No friends. No dreams. No plans of making it past highschool. What do I do...

7:30 AM: I see my first sign of familiar faces. Somebody that I used to know before. We exchange smiles and greetings. Everything seems fake. Talk about our summer.nothing seems real. But it was real to me. I was brought back to the real world by the popular twin of this person and her loud tiktoks. She was your typical popular girl. It brought me back to what I really am. Alone.

glad sedge Aug 17, 2025, 5:33 PM

8:23 pm: my journal was flagged nsfw by accident so I couldnt type more in school. But thanks to Helpur Kitty I got unflagged so tyvm.

8:24 pm: I've never felt so small in school. No friends wandering around like a ghost. No one to rely on. Some highschool teachers thought I was new because I was constantly sitting alone. Eating lunch alone. On my phone.... alone. P.E class, "Whos in our class" a old friend asks...."its all of us" another one replies. "Me,you, and J-" he stops himself. As if hes forgotten my name. Or maybe. He didnt wanna remeber, I dont blame him. If i was anyone I know. I'd want to forget me too "How was school?" I just smile and nod. I dont have the strength to lie.

Have you ever been looked at by pity. By eyes that see you as a animal needed to be put out of its misery. I know those eyes all too well. They look at me with those eyes. Everyone who knows my situation. They were only friends with me aslong as they were out of pity. I know that too. Infact, i was replaced before I even processed what happened. Thats why, thats why when you look at me with those eyes. I really hate it.