#I hate you and I can't wait to move out.

38 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

frigid nexus
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So this is sorta a rant about my feelings towards one of my family members. I don't expect or want replies, but advice, questions, and comments will be appreciated. I just want people to listen to my rant because whenever I try to explain this I always feel shut down and told that I'm supposed to love this person and appreciate this person even though I 1000% on my soul do not. Most of the time it's my mother who says this and it always makes me feel like my feelings aren't valid and I really want to talk to her about my deepest feelings and how much I HATE this person but I know I will get grounded and have everything taken away from me so I will try to explain this one more time to someone that will hopefully listen. That's all I want, just somebody to see this and read it. Even if it's not all the way or the sentence. I just want somebody to read this so I don't feel lonely or stupid.
Just for some context this person has not done a single bit of harm to me and my mother isn't abusive at all. It's just this random hate that I have for this specific person ever since I reached puberty.

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So the person I hate is my brother and I have so much pent up rage and hatred towards him. I want to explode on him and tell him how much of a gay fucking loser he is and will always be and I hope he knows that with his stupid ugly pimple infested face. Every time he looks in the mirror I hope he gets reminded of how ugly and stupid he is, and how he will never succeed at anything in his life.
I'd like to smile and laugh at him and think about how God never made him in his own image. How God laughs at his stupid face and sends him straight to hell where he can rot eternally.
Every single thing you do or believe in I hate. I hate you. I hate you and in my own world you are nothing. Nobody loves you and nobody would be sad when something happens to you. You are nothing but a burden. Nothing and how could anybody love nothing?
I hope you know that I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you. I would spend 100 years watching you suffer than live my own happy life if I could. It would be the most pleasing thing to me. I would be happy, the happiest person in the whole entire universe.
I hope you live a horrible life filled with pain and depression. It's what you deserve.

potent harbor
frigid nexus
twin glade
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@frigid nexus
Are you feeling any better ?

frigid nexus
twin glade
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If you wanna vent my chat is open okay🫶🏾

frigid nexus
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I don't understand at all why I hate him. I've tried searching it up but all I get is that it might be related to past trauma but he's never traumatized me???? Like holy shit I'm tired of hearing the same fucking shit and not having the actual answer

twin glade
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Is he older or younger?

frigid nexus
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Younger

twin glade
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Maybe it’s because of that

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Do you think he gets more attention than you

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Maybe get more things?

frigid nexus
# twin glade Maybe get more things?

He doesn't get more things, but at home he rages at games so much. He yells and curses all day long. He doesn't understand that he needs to just take a fucking chill pill and get off the game for a while, and whenever I tell my mom to tell him to stop she always tell him in her sweet voice, "You need to stop raging, ok sweetie?" Oh my God it does nothing. I want to torture him. Absolutely torture him. It does nothing and he keeps raging and raging and raging. She will not put her foot down and do anything. I'm so fucking tired of hearing his gay furry ass raging all day long.

azure pawn
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yea, i know how you feel i feel dam near the same about my mother, i told her to fuh off and never talk to me again

frigid nexus
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And one thing I noticed is that she never checks his devices for anything. One time he was talking to his friend and my mom came into his room and said, "Who are you talking to?" And he said nobody in the most suspicious voice ever. I think it's clear enough that he is talking to somebody he shouldn't be. She has never ever checked his phone or his Xbox, but she has checked and taken away my phone and devices a few times (for good reason).
Sometimes all I hear is him telling people to ||kill themselves|| over a game.

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I have seen multiple times that he's talking to somebody he shouldn't be, talking about something inappropriately to someone, or just watching pornography and masturbating in the fucking open, no doors closed, no warning, just nothing at all???
Are we fucking serious????

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He's not even 13 yet

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He could potentially be getting ||groomed|| online and my mother isn't doing anything about it

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TW: ||SA||
I mean one time I heard him joking about ||SAing a hamster until his genitals came out of its mouth||???
What the fuck????

frigid nexus
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That's all I'm asking

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Please just do something I am going insane

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The discipline is so non existent that my mom just lets my brother walk all over him.

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I just hope he dies

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I'm so tired of living in this life where nothing is getting done.

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Absolutely nothing

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As soon as I graduate high school I'm applying for college and leaving my fucking house

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Either that or I'm going to ||commit suicide||

azure pawn
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i wouldnt recommend collage, puts you in debt youll pay for the next like 10 years and you could get a good job with that high school diploma and make nothing but profit instead of it all going to bills ontop of the college debt

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if you like things getting done i would recommend getting certified in heavy equipment operation or become a service tech and work on heavy equipment, operator is a better option because when you break the equipment you get to watch the service tech rage as he trys to fix it in a mudpitt

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also ive attempted 7 times and thought about it hundreds, id rather show the people i hate how much better i am then let my life end because them, and remember one day youll be paying for your mom and dads nursing home, let her know that

frigid nexus
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Yk what

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I need to calm down

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I need to play cookie clicker that's what I need to do

azure pawn
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lol i use a autoclicker when i play dat

round sparrow
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Damn, man — sounds like your hate comes from a place of helplessness. I get that. There’s nothing I hate more than feeling like I can’t change anything. And from what I see, you probably have your shit together — good grades, doing your part — but your parents still don’t see the difference between you and your sibling. And i can understand that as a Father as well.

I had a brother too. Honestly? He was kind of an idiot — probably the dumbest person I’ve ever known. But he had good grades becouse he actually learned and had no friends to spend time with, and my parents never got tired of saying how proud they were of him, telling me I should be more like him.

Well, I outpaced him in everything in life. Now he’s just trash, sitting around playing video games all day. I’m way more intelligent — I just didn’t care in school because I was bored out of my mind. Took me a while to figure that out.

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Just say to yourself, not for long anymore and i can choose the people im with, every single one of them.