#i keep deleting it

2544 messages · Page 3 of 3 (latest)

long bluff
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i

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nvm

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i keep switching sides tonight aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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this song is so good why cant there be more songs like this

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i have a playlist of songs like this but there aren’t enough that perfectly match the

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vibe

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i keep seeing

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mascs on my fyp

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nro i cant

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somebody sedate me

next stump
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Hm?

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i’m so excited for my concert rn

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heh.

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should run for the hills

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im so bored

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i want slime

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ok im painting

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bro i hqavent painted in so long

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i have no life

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i am never finishing ts

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bro i’m barely 50% in

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i maybe procrastinated doing this for at least 1 week straight but wow im doing it again

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like im lowkey slowly pillign myself out of art block rn

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once i finish ts commission im gonna be so happy

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next stump
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next stump
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What is it supposed to be tho?

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idk how to describe it. its just gonna be a scene wiht my character

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my favourite kind of emails

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next stump
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enjoy.

long bluff
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bro wow i feel like im in a fever dream ts crazy i get to watch my favourite race irl

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this is actually

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wow

sonic valve
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i fw this

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are you kitten me

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no

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it is what it is and WAS WHAT IT WAAAASSSSS

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today’s progress

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concert time

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who excited

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me

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yo me too

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IM SO EXCITED

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yo u a little late bro i asked 20 minutes ago man

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mb

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ion een curr fr

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i’m so glad they didn’t change the name of dundas square yet

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even tho he owned slaves or something idk

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dundas is too iconic

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ts tuff boi

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holy

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cow

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that shi was life changing

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like ik i said that about the weeknd

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but this was seriously on another level bro

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i love bro

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bro there’s no one

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ik ts song hates to see me coming

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my back hurts so bad tn

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we are getting mac donald’s

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i am quite huuuunfru man

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i’ve had

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1 meal today bru

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but ts gonna be my second

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well technically it’s tomorrow almost so i’ll have 1 meal tomorrow get it

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i think i have a bruise on my knee or something it hurts rlly bad

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but there’s no like physical bruise

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but ik it isn’t like bone-knee pain

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type

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ykwim

sonic valve
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aw man hope u feel better

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thank you man

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it looks sm better now

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bro i’m so nervous to even start the bottom half

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i lowkey messed up the proportions a bit so i cant rlly do the exact design i wanted to in the first place

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but i’ll see

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my back hurts so bad

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how it feels to have to send everything to myself

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wonder what days i was at concerts

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i gotta wash’s my haire imso laaazyyyu boiiiii

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im actually getting post concert depression

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bro

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someone bro i bro

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im not ok

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frick its ok im ok bro im not ok this is not ok

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also what is this ugly ass update bro

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change it back it pissing me off

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ugly ass layout

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ok new trick canon

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she a track star

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like she was always rlly fast

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so in 4x1 like in bishop

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highschool*

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she was obviously on the track team

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and she was anchor cuz she’s the fricking goat

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or fourth leg whatever

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and she’d like

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clock everybody

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she’s so tuff

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bro i love trick

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i think that i feel js like rlly different towards tate mcrae than i would ariana grande cuz like ngl she lowkey reminds me of trick

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they’re both so good at dance

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they both had rlly dark times in their past and stuff

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“sad girl bit got a little boring”

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and trick was just a war criminal

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but like bro i feel so

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deeply attached to tate

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i gen can’t even describe it like u have to be me to understand me

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like i don’t even think that it’s because trick and her are relatively similar

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it’s js cuz like bro she went thru the exact same stuff as ME n she

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portrays it so well

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in her music

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that feeling when most of my comfort songs are by tate

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☹️ seeing her irl healed and broke me bro

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you know

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i thought we were friends

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but i get this weird feeling in my stomach

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i can’t tell if you wanna kill me

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or if you wanna kiss me

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and sometimes im flattered

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but also fuck you

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get the fuck away from me

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zara larsson so slept on

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why bro in anguish

sonic valve
sonic valve
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sorry if thats lile ride

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like rude*

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no i

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its reassuring to me that people think im a dude

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i fw it

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thats why i talk the way that i do or wtv it be

sonic valve
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mb i was at boxing

sonic valve
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you dont want people thinking ur a girl?

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sum like that

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honestly wish nobody thought anything about me labels were never easy for me

sonic valve
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ahhh alright alright

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its okay i understand

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if u wanna talk about why, im here for u fr

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ty man i appreciate

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but naw i’m chill

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uh tuh duh today

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uh tuh duh

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im gonna kms r we really playing classical music in the car with the windows down

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are you serious with me

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are you kitten me

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yooo wtf some people were filming a movie

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with a car on like this trailer and there were green screens in front of it

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lmao

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uh tuh duh

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bro i swear

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to john if my gender chooses to fluctuate again i will go nuclear

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not when im so comfortable like this man no

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oh god

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i think it might actually happen bro stop bro

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my eyes are so sore mane

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i’m a bad person

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and i fully understand that i won’t change

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when it really comes down to it, all i really do is sabotage myself and still expect things to get better for me

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none of this is meant in a self-deprecating kind of way im simply just stating my reality

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but one thing that does tick me off is when people keep telling me no

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i hate when people lie to me and i hate when people think they know me

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i hate when people tell me shallow lies

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don’t tell me that i’m a good person at heart because im not

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i constantly expect myself to be so great and my bar is set so high for myself but when it comes down to the lowest points of my life

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i always reach for advice and comfort but i always push it away

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and i don’t know why

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i don’t really know what i want to do here anymore

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or even what i can do here

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i know that i am young

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but the worst feeling for me is seeing other people than me living a completely different lifestyle than my own

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i only feel a wave of dread knowing that i am doing much worse than anybody my age accomplishing normal and expected goals

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maybe my ego is too inflated for my own good because fuck if failing isn’t the worst feeling ever

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then i don’t know what would beat it

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i want to be accountable for myself for once by just admitting that

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fuck i really do suck

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i shouldn’t be acting like everything will be solved for me. i’m too much of a judger, especially of people that are supposed to be close to my heart

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like my friends and family

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and what’s worse is that i’d probably never take back what i think of them

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that will never change i guess.

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i’ve always found myself good at moving on and stuff but

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how am i supposed to move on from something i can’t even process

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i’ve spent so many sleepless nights reflecting on myself, countless hours thinking about my own situation yet i can’t even wrap my head around it yet

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ultimately i will fail again and again

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i am watching it happen and i can’t do anything without needing medication or real help

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but my parents will always keep neglecting it

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and maybe my relationship with my father will never get better

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maybe i was born to fail

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and yet i still set unrealistic standards for myself that only ruin me more, knowing i’d never even reach that bar at this rate

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i really don’t know what to do this time and i mean it

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i am giving up i wont deny it

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not willingly

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but i physically can’t keep doing this

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im fucking exhausted and i really only have myself to blame

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aaaaa

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genuinely i cried

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she is

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wow

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my birthday is coming up soon

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im thinking back on the time where i was really insecure with my whole identity

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especially online it was really terrible

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it got to a point where i hated admitting that i am senna

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i’d deny it

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because i really hated what people envisioned

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when they thought of that person

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senna

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and i guess it still is kind of sensitive for me and i don’t wanna be that person where im super sensitive to anything anybody thinks of me

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that’s why i hate when people say stuff like

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i thought you were a girl or a guy

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i thought you were this or that

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because honestly it makes me question myself

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and although it’s slightly reassuring to think that people think that im a dude

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it’s just

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i don’t know

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i hate when people think im anything

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im not anything

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i was never comfortable with labels

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i’ve always been genderfluid i hate telling people that

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because when i mention anything about not being cis or hetero people will always assume you’re that blue haired queer on twitter and that’s not what i am

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i dunno. you can think whatever you want of me. just don’t tell me because i most likely won’t want to hear about it

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especially my gender or whatever

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it was already a really fragile topic for me before and it still is

low estuary
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cuz I’m dum

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tate mcrae

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oh

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you went to her concert?

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yea a few days ago

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that cool

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where though?

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toronto

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ah

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nice

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yea

low estuary
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it feel so evil snooping around in someone journal

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😭

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lmaoo yea i feel that me too ngl

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im not rlly here to really like try to get info on other people im kinda just here for me cuz journaling helps a lot

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journaling is insanely good

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just people thinks it overrated

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yea unfortunately

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but that on them

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they’re missing out

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what time is it for you?

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ima sleep soon

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shouldn’t you sleep

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yuh

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I should probably head to bed in 10 minutes

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low estuary
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oh

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rest well

low estuary
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I’ll probably see this journal in a week or so

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bye :D

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bye bye

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we got free kfc

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and we went to church

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i am going home now

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same humor as me

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i like him

low estuary
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pano looking dum

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unless this isn’t pano

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it is

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the word ‘home’ is so surreal to me i don’t even think i deserve to hear it in the right context. maybe the reason that i am always trying to be away from it is because i am only trying to distract myself from the thought that i probably don’t even have a home. maybe it is because sometimes i don’t feel safe here. maybe it is because i am never my true self at ‘home’. i hate to say it and it upsets me but i honestly just think that i am merely living inside a house. with other people. it does not feel good to say but i can’t keep denying myself of my own truth. sure this house is where i live permanently and with my family - but does any of that really matter if i can’t find stability and predictability in the supposedly safest place in my life?

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but if i was never meant to be here, where am i expected to go? i don’t really feel real anywhere i go or with anybody. maybe i am just a physical body in this lifetime. like human nature, i only desire a place to belong. it’ll never be on the internet, and i guess it can not even be in my own house. i barely feel safe in my room and i can only pretend around my friends for so long. solitude never bothered me and i quite enjoy it. but when it really comes down to the grain, will it really be my choice to stay alone, or will being alone be the only choice for me? i don’t want to make anybody else unbearable because of me. i’ve always hated projecting myself to others. and im ultimately tired of trying to satisfy people who i don’t really care about. it’s fine. i accept whatever happens to me.

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im sleepy

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we going to land

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ts quite tuff

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it’s so hooottttttt

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im chopped today

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ough

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it was only supposed to cap at 24 today it’s at least 29

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#44 🥶

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we going to behemoth

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there r so many pretty girls in this line bro i am so jealous i love them

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grrrr

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mai cold hart is finly melting

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my stomach hurts i think i have diabetes

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we r going on drop tower

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and then we have to go home

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we got off drop tower

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bro i asked the people next to me

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“are u guys gonna scream” and they said yea

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and then they didn’t bro it was only me screaming

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they set me up bro

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im so tired

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i’m prolly gonna sleep all day again

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snoooze

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my hb so tuff

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he’s so tuff

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we tight as frick

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im sweating right now it so hoootttttttt

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i want air conditioning

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aaaa

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i feel so bad cuz im always sleeping but i can’t help it cuz im so tired

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usually when i say im tired i rlly mean it and i want to sleep

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im awake now

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my mom is taking me to dinner

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oh shoot i forgot my airpods this is bad

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i wanna feel safe w somebody again

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i have like 1 friend group that i can rlly be like really really genuine but

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yeh i dunno

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i honestli dun even kno if

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like

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it seriously me kinda genuine

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but it close enuff

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i wanna change m pronouns cc

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grrrrrrgfghhggjfhghAAAAHUUUUGUGHG

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i love m friends

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some of dem at least

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i have nothing appropriate to say

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rrrggrgrrrrr somebody sedate me

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tattoos r soooooooooooooooooooooooo fluffing attractive

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moshi moshi baka arigato sharingan resengan

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aaauuaaaaaaaa

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i lowkeeeyuy can’t stand when people r so incompetent

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so many people can’t see through 1 normal conversation when they’re wrong it’s so embarrassing

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who even needs a relationship anyways everybody our age is confused and unsure of what they really want

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i never want to date anybody my age again

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love is too hard anyways im better off admiring or whatever

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how do i un dye my hair

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i like it but

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hm

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AAAAAAAAAAA

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no it’s ok dream it’s ok 😅 ✌️

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ok im gonna work on my commission

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random jinx but shes kinda chopped

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i almost

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got scared that i messed up but i think its ok

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um

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one of my best friends might fucking die

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🥹 ✌️ um

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i love caitvi

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CAIITTVIIIII UUGUG UH KGBH

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vi to my cait when

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i should get a job

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😭

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ekko to my jinx, even

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bro shut your fricking mouth

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ok

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lowkey now that i’m thinking about it

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maybe i’m the problem like genuinely

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i’m always talking about sum

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like ruining a friendship cuz the other person likes

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like

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their friend

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but that was lowkey me

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but now ion like them like that but like darn

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i’m a hypocrite bro

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oh man that’s not the right one

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bro where’s that one edit where like

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bro

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it was caitvi and it was charli xcx

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I FOUND IT I FOUJD IT

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I LOVE HRIS EDIT SO MUCH

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i’m just living that life von dutch tiktok_yayy

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arcane s1 is my entire soul

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i never moved on from season 1 jinx and vi

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bro

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i’m convinced that season 1 jinx is my spirit animal TRUST ME BRO

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i lowkey frick with charli xcx so heavy

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she’s tuff as frick i can’t even deny it anymore

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if u saw my tears would u touch me

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kiss me on the mouth say u love me

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leave a message tell me ur sorry

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hit me right back hit me right back 😔 ✌️

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it’s so good

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it’s so

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bro

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me when i’m velvet from trolls band togehter

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biggest kin oat

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i just lost my ability to draw etf

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wtf i can’t draw bro

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it’s so cold outside today

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im gonna attempt to make keychains

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with vograce

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a silent voice changed me

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women

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this song

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was it ever this serious

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holy fuck bro

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i think bro likes tate mcrae

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dw ariana is still my top 1

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i’m actually going insane writing this

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like

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scene rn

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heh….

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bro i could realistically like

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take this anywhere

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like they could fight

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or

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bro like the possibilities r endless rn

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holy cowowwww

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IM LIKE GIGGLING ALREADY BRO I HAVENT EVEN GOT TO A Part where like

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i can make them interact

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HEH

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BRO TS GONNA BE SO GOOD

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BROOOOO

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I CANT CONTROLL MTMSKELLFPFFF

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BRIROOOOO

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SEDATE ME BRO SOMEONE HOLD ME BACK

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bro no like bro i gave up on oc x canon cuz like

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bro canon him would never even date anybody

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or like be friends with anybody outside the team

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so like WHY bro WHY would this even

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be slightly possible

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my problem is that i take everything too realistically so my canon characters that i write NEED to perfectly resemble their real game versio no

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verizon

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version

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like i have a hard time writing fantasy level

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bro i need to let it go bro i NEED TO WRITE HATEFUL ANGST THAT IS LOWKEY ENEMIES TO LOVERS BUT NOT QUITE THERE BRO PLEASDEEEBROROOOO

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BROOOOOOO

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I LOVE ANGST

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heh o yeah

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ykw what’s really stopping me from writing oc x canon

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like maybe it’ll be inaccurate but

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i can just write other versions

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and keep the one i like to myself

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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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NOOO OO O OO OOOOOOOO

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PERIOD 4 LUNCH NOOO O OK H O I O. IHCHCNFNV

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also i have no classes with my bsf heh ts trash bro

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genuinely i might kms

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i’m so bored brooo

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oh wait i can literally play golf on my garage 😂

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in

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in my garage

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nvm i got bored again

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i’m making eggs i’m so bored

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why is there nothing to do

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but my dad is taking me to a race

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cuz he has a friend that races for pagani

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and it’s on the day school starts heh

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so i get to go after school and see the cars

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it’s gonna be so cool

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his friend had a mclaren senna

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and everything

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it’s gonna be so tuff

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FUCK I’M SO NERVOUS

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IDK WHAT I’LL DO IF I DONT GET TICKETS

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nobody touch my damn tickets

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she might add areas to the tour

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pls add toronto

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🥹 im honoured man

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im ready

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bro ts clouds

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ts so cool

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bro ima join school sports this year TRUST Me im locking in

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every new person that i’ve met

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like

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their first impression of me ALWAYS without fail is that i look like a volleyball player it’s a sign

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bro i was so scared to even try out for the team last year because everybody played rep

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but yak yolo

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ykw

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im gonna try out for basketball too

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if i don’t see ariana next year nobody will see ME again

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that shits on john

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maybe i am looking forward to school

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but damn bro im still really mad i don’t have 1 single class with my bsf

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my guidance councillor WILL be hearing from me

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i fucking love my friends so much i might actually cry

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IM CRHINF I JUST STALKED SOHLEYJS TIKTOK WHY TS GUY SO WHIMSICAL 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭

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i keep forgetting he’s friends with like all the 08s

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bro he only posts money spreads and random flicks

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HIS REPOSETS BRO IM CRUIG

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BRO ALL OF THEM SRE ABOUT LOVE BRO

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THIS FUY CANT LOCK IN IT

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BRO LMAOAO

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SOLEYAHE

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😭 😭 😭 ✌️

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maybe he is actually a lover boy and we all just misinterpreting him

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this actually hilarious love him

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yo im lowkey like bro

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i had a dream yesterday where i saw my bsf

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and today she reached out wanting to hang out

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i be predicting it

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we gonna have a sleepover and then my other bsf gonna pull up

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i can’t believe we’re looking at cars again

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noo we have to sell the porsche ios

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wow a ferrari

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