#About my mom

5 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

hollow tree Jul 15, 2025, 4:22 AM

tbh i just need someone to listen, and give opinions if shes reasonable or that i'm just overreacting, smt like that

i'm 16, a normal boy living in a developing country. so that basically means i'm still in school, and that my universities are soon. i wanted to go to china, since i have close friends there and close friends that are planning to go there, and my mom also find it fine. then all of a sudden, she told me that i must go to australia, and i can't go to china anymore. like literally, a MUST. I have no problem with aussie, it's just that I don't appreciate the insistent behavior of her.

of course I'm not happy, and I tried to say why I wanted to go to china. she immediately dismissed it and just argued back, stating that I just wanted to go to china because of my girlfriend (she's against dating, and she have no proof so she just assumes, which is my first problem) and that i shouldnt go to university for relationships. she didn't say it in a light voice, instead shouted at me across the room while I'm playing the piano. then of course i tried to defend myself, then she immediatelt started crying because i was "talking back" and talked about how im destroying the family and is going to destroy it furthur if i went to china, and a bunch of other bullshit to convince me to follow her.

then she doesn't like that I was replying a little rudely apparently, and shouted at me more while crying. i don't think I was that rude, and I told her that she was doing the same. then she shouted even louder: "IM YOUR MOTHER, I CAN DO ANYTHING I WANT" then continued with how my dad just obeyed her mom (my dad was in a broken household, not sure about my mom though). obviously it breaks my heart, but yeah. i remembered this was a couple of months ago.

then everytime i mentioned china, she just ignored me and just continues about australia. she always mentions that im playing a big risk when going to china and that i am going to destroy my future family and hers as well, which is very unrational in my opinion. she somehow made me feel bad for having a country i want to go for university, i don't know why. like often times, she would just go to "agents" (here, there are university agents to help you decide and apply) and all of them is about australia, and she's asking me questions that are all about australia as well, basically forcing me to choose (example: do you want to go sydney or melbourne, or whether i want to continue school or use foundation to australia)

she told me i'm free to go anywhere i want, and that she can't force me. but i feel like my opinion is weightless, and my wants don't matter. that i'm forced to follow her, and that's a really shit feeling. i droved and talked to many agents about china as well as doing my own online research, trying to gather information and points, but my mom dismissed it as well. i feel like i don't have freedom, it's a really shit feeling.

don't get me wrong, i'm not against australia, i just hate that she isn't giving me a choice and that I'm like her puppet. literally, my room got 2 cameras, like what the hell? i just don't like the fact that I'm forced to follow her, so yeah. this is from my view, so of course it's biased torwards me, making my mom look worse - but the points still there. all the things i've mentioned are true, and i really feel like shit. just because of some things she heard from her friends, to this. i can't even communicate with her anmyore. sorry if it's so long.

also i need advice

oak crater Jul 15, 2025, 6:04 PM

As another 16 year old boy, I can confirm that this isn’t normal behaviour for a mother. cameras in your room? That's not okay. That should have stopped when you turned 5. Your mom isn’t in charge of your dating life, your school life, etc. I argue that maybe the university you want to go to is too expensive for her. But that doesn’t make sense if she's so specific about Australia. Is it cheaper there? Also is she even paying your tuition? Because that changes everything if she’s not.