I keep messing up without even realizing it, and now it’s all piling up. I’ve been thinking a lot about the stuff I say to her—these inappropriate jokes that she says she's fine with, but I feel like I'm pushing her away. I mean, they’re jokes (mostly... 😅), but I’m really starting to worry that I’ve been making her uncomfortable.
That’s the last thing I ever want to do. I never want her to feel like I only care about that kind of stuff or that I’m pressuring her into something. I seriously hate the idea that I could be crossing any lines, even unintentionally. I just… get caught up in the teasing and the flirting, and now I’m afraid I’ve gone too far.
And it’s not just that. I feel like I’ve been bugging her and pestering her to play games with me too much. Like I’m being clingy or annoying or even manipulative without meaning to be. I swear I’m not trying to guilt her or anything—I just miss her. Spending time with her like that means a lot to me, and I guess I just keep trying to recreate those moments without realizing how it might feel from her side.
The worst part? I feel like I’m not enough. Like she’s going to realize she deserves someone better—someone who isn’t so insecure or emotionally needy or awkward. I love her so much, and I just want to make her happy… but I feel like I’m failing at it. Like I’m the problem.
I don’t know. I just really hope I haven’t made her regret loving me. That’s what’s killing me the most.